#even if she cannot ever love them in the way they want her to (ie as a parent loves a child)

[acaciapines]

i need to talk about the dess raises kris au. or im gonna explode.

[facefullofsadness]

hybrid!aespa in heat

subby!aespa x dom!reader

smut, 1k wc

I'm going crazy, I haven't been able to stop thinking ab this since my SEVEN THIRTY AM CLASS, but I cannot stop thinking about hybrid!aespa in heat for the first time??

like maknae line are very bby girl in ur relationship, you treating them like a princess in and out of bed, and them just sitting still looking pretty for you! yizhuo seems more of a switch in my head than minjeong does as a hybrid, but when they're in heat, they both become the subbiest babies ever!

minjeong would be RED, cheeks completely flushed and skin hot to the touch. her eyes darting everywhere and hands as fists clutching her clothes, her sheer clothing suddenly feeling too hot. you'd crawl over her squirming body on the bed and she'd whine so hard. "idk what's happening to me y/n-ie. b-but, fuck, please help me," she'd say during her first heat. her hands would reach out blindly for any part of you to clutch onto and pull you into her, her shoving her heated face into your neck. you kinda worried about her, not knowing what was going on, but after she whimpered against your neck by your hot breath whispering into her ear, it clicked. extremely sensitive and respondent to every single brush of your skin against hers, having the most reactive effects on her body. trembling, jolting, shivering, whimpering. the way she would be so loud and whiney when you finally give her what she wants, rutting her hips against your mouth or fingers, could be both! or your own hips too. "so hot, so hot!" she whines desperately, shoving her hips against you as she falls apart.

yizhuo wouldn't be so naive as to what was happening. as soon as she felt her stomach twist and that feeling consuming her entire body with every passing second, her heart started to pound and muscles would tense. immediately dragging herself shakily to look for you and burying her body into yours, sitting in your lap and purring softly in your ear on your skin. suddenly becomes a lot more clingy and whiney, not really feeling any shame or embarrassment unlike the latter. so it's not surprising when she grinds her clothed cunt against your lap, long and deep rolling of her hips against you, just to feel anything. "y/n-ie, I-I think it's happening... you smell fuck- you smell so g-good... you feel so good... I need more, this isn't enough, please give me more..." taking her right then and there on the couch and having her head thrown back as you fuck her with the utmost stamina you can give, her always begging you to give her more. would go so many rounds with you because she can't stop how the knot in her stomach would never fully be relieved, rutting against you even as you try to ease her orgasm, overstimulating herself but immediately ready to go again.

as for the unnie line, it's like night and fucking day. they're definitely wearing the pants in your relationship, having you close to them when you're out in public, pulling you into them with their hand on your hip or wrapping their arm around your shoulders. jimin is a gentle and firm lover while aeri is confident and loves to show you off (under her supervision ofc). but when they're in heat, oh my god the thought makes me dizzy. complete 180.

jimin's eyes would darken as lust and sexual desire consume her. her stare would trail your relaxed body, laying back on the bed. her core started to throb and her hands formed fists against the blankets. crawling up to you, a pained and needy expression spreading across her face. you would look up at her in confusion, your usually quiet and reserved gf looking intense, her eyes drilling holes through your body which made you feel conscious suddenly. "y/n..." she said your name so low and croaky, her voice triggering something in your brain. at this point you understood what she wanted, but you hadn't expected how badly she needed it. "I need you so badly. I need you to fuck me..." taken aback by the sudden advance had your head spinning, but seeing your girlfriend soooo needy, cheeks flushed pink and hot breath hitting your skin, her chest rising up and down with each pant she released, you had to listen to her! you pleasuring her while she's on top of you, grinding her hips down into you and releasing whiney moans with each roll of her body. mumbling incoherently how good it feels and how much of a good girl you are for listening so well to her, her fingers patting your head as her orgasm builds to the wet sounds coming from her aching core.

aeri hated being a hybrid at times because she knew going into heat would make her subby! born to be a dommy mommy, forced to be a baby girl! she absolutely rocks your world whenever you guys fuck, but when she finally experiences it, it's almost comical how different she suddenly is. pushing you up against the door having just come home from dinner, greedily feeling your body with her big hands and lips bruising against her's. when your thumb traced her nipple, she'd moan embarrassingly loud into your mouth, shocking both of you. you pull back to look at her and her eyes are squinted shut, leaning her body into your touch more when you try to take your hand away. "fuck y/n, don't you dare pull away, give me your all right now. I need you sososo bad, it hurts so fucking much..." she'd moan and whine like a sub while demanding you to fuck her like the natural dom she is. sitting in her lap with your lips around her neck, your tongue dragging across the length of her throat as she pulls you by the waist further into her, trying to maximize the amount of sheer pleasure you were giving. releasing deep guttural groans with every roll of her hips, the occasional high pitched loud moan escaping, her fingernails digging into your skin.

and I didn't really mention it but my headcanons for hybrid!aespa are kitten or wolf!rina, puppy!aeri, bunny!winter, and kitten!ning. BUT TO EACH THEIR OWN! (I wish they OWNED me- what who said that?)

[ironunderstands]

Not a question, just very happy it's not just me loving IP3 (or trans Ratio for that matter). Yap away on both

Ugh I love them both so much

Most of my headcanons are when I find something to be better and/or more interesting than it is in canon, or something that’s a great extension of canon, and that’s exactly what trans Ratio is to me.

It takes his already present insecurities and squares them, as now the doctor has to contend with not just being a SMART enough man, but being a smart enough MAN, and adding that extra layer of misery and complexity is just so delightful.

By taking a character racked by self doubt and adding another layer to it, like Ratio being trans, you complicate his current insecurities and give new perspectives to look at them from.

Like in canon Ratio exercises so much because he wants to be the most perfect, best version of himself and has been doing it since a very young age (middle school).

But then you add him being trans to that, and suddenly he’s not just combating being perceived as not good enough, he’s combating being perceived entirely, attempting to try and get others to view him the way he really is, and attempting to live up to whatever masculine ideal that would push away his dysphoria, something prominent within his life from a young age.

I’ve kinda dived into this within my fics about it, but I like the idea that Ratio keeps this a secret from everyone- and I mean everyone. He already doesn’t live up to his own expectations of himself, so to have the rest of the galaxy find out that he doesn’t live up to their expectations of him either (ie being a cis man I mean you cannot tell me there aren’t like hundreds of people in universe begging for his uh- yeah), it would crush him.

I mean considering how guarded he is already, adding another thing to hide behind that alabaster mask would be fun, even if I think Ratio is likely at least a decade post-op + post-transition, so it’s not like he has to bind or anything, but the threat is still there. Especially considering his well known love of baths- imagine if he avoided the public baths at his home planet (considering how heavily Greek/Roman inspired Ratio is), and how that might affected him growing up, or just the tendency of shirtlessness in general.

There’s just a lot of possibilities and intricacies to it that makes me really like this particular headcanon, and it will always be canon in my heart haha. I have some more silly things behind it, like me wanting to give Aventio and Ratiopaz biological kids because it would be cute, or just the inherent joy of the big buff guy actually being the trans one rather than who you would expect it to be/who it’s stereotypically made as- Aventurine, as I like when characters have traits you don’t expect them to possess.

I also tend to dislike Aventurine being made ftm because he’s implied to be an SA survivor and rep for amab victims is already kinda abysmal so I don’t like taking it away, also I just think it’s boring tbh, at least for me it just doesn’t interest me.

Trans Topaz is a whole other discussion, personally I think she’s mtnb, and more femme presenting (I’d make her use she/they in my fics it’s just pronoun swapping when writing polyamory is miserable and anybody who’s ever written it can attest to that 😭, it’s there in spirit I promise!)

I honestly don’t have deep reasons behind this one, it’s just pure vibes. Someone was like, “Topaz gives nonbinary” once on here and I’m like yeah, yeah she does 😭. She reminds me of Childe a lot and I also view him as nonbinary so she’s kinda in a similar boat.

I think she’s very motherly but like in the way Mother Nature is if that makes sense? Mother is mothering but she’s also a creature tm* and certified tax collecting humanity loving entity. Also I have a close friend who’s a trans woman and Topaz reminds me of her so like, bam ur trans now lol (hi Alice if ur seeing this).

As for Aventiopaz, I fear I’d need a whole other post dedicated to why I like them. You guys know why I like Aventio, Avenpaz also require a whole other yap session, and Ratiopaz is the best rarepair ever fight me. Generally I like it because it’s really sweet, the dynamic is hilarious, they are the power trio of all time, they have great gameplay synergy, and their designs complement each other a lot- being primary colors and all.

I also enjoy their individual unique relationships to the IPC and how that might affect their interactions with one another, both in canon and in my brain. Moreover the trio of coworkers who are well known around the office for a) getting the job done and b) being absolutely obnoxious around one another (in a good way) is incredibly fun and I enjoy the idea of all the shenanigans they would get up to.

Perhaps my next Aventiopaz fic would be them going on a mission together or something, as I definitely want to write another one, and also update my slideshow of the parents au, I’ve just been so busy and a bit unmotivated 😭 so hopefully I can get to that soon

[wwane]

1.7 ch 6 brain dump

cognac has been cogged and nacked, beef jerky as been beefed and jerked; let's get these thoughts in order

spoilers for 1.7 main story and a minor one from 1.9

i have not played isolde's story yet so these are my impressions purely from the main story

so isolde is repressed repressed, like WOW

the little details i picked up in dialogue and descriptions paint the picture of an anxiety-ridden girl, walking on eggshells all day long, forcing herself to play her part perfectly, always one little thing away from a nervous breakdown or panic attack. at this point i think her corset is literally the only thing holding her up and keeping her from collapsing in on herself

the detail about how corsets aren't really in fashion anymore but she still wears them with a few more 'in-fashion' jewelry pieces: she's old money but she can't look like old news - she has to keep up with the trends otherwise the audience will leave

her whole life has been about repressing herself and shaping herself into what other wanted:

1) the bit about her remembering what it felt like to balance books atop her head to force a straight posture bc that's how people expect a noble lady to act, that's how people expect a Dittarsdorf should act (until they go crazy) 2) her mother snapped and killed her father and everyone else in the room and she's gotta carry that because she's the only one left - the one responsible one left 3) her sister died in childhood and she buried the pain and turmoil so deep inside her that she repressed the memory. if she remembers her sister dying, she'll remember that she's likely also going to end the same way, if not like her mother and she cannot allow herself to end up like her mother

which all leads to her hidden resentment of theopil and the way it leaked more and more as the story progressed. based off isolde's descriptions of him and marcus's 'reading' of his burnt paintings theophil comes off as an artsy fuckboy. whereas isolde is snapping herself in two to give off old-school noble gentlewoman vibes, theophil goes where he pleases and does what (and who) he wants.

personal theory is that isolde is a closeted, repressed lesbian who hates that her irresponsible brother is out mingling and seducing beautiful women in the way she won't allow herself to want. she's got stronger arcanum them him, she's a singer and a more talented artist, what does he have on her other than the fact that he's a man. and a 'man' at the time and place should be growing mustaches and challenging duels and joining the army and he won't even do that.

sweet songbird in a cage that hates the world around her so much. what has the world ever given her other than pain and loss and the reminder that she's next if she slips up. she's perfectly fine burning it down as long as she has her cavaradossi

there's so! much! about class disparity in here too! the difference in social hierarchy between: 1) old money isolde: still lives at the whims of human-ran society but can get away with it because she has money and connections like karl; 2) middle class kakania: whose family started out as small-time merchants but managed to attain enough wealth to send her to college but doesn't have the social-backing like isolde to avoid arrest; 3) lower class illich: street peddler and orphan with no way to climb up the social ladder. the story explicitly shows that even with her money and social network, at the end of the day isolde, kakania, and illich are essentially the same (there are other nuances though, since this is just about the 3 levels in a human society. in an arcanist society like the manus, they still care about separating between pureblooded and mixed-blood arcanists, ie: the way manus is perfectly fine with using illich and other poor arcanists as cannon fodder for chaos and leaving them to die in the storm)

kakania! i thought she was going to my fave but isolde stole the damn show. still love this baby idealist though. i love the speech she gave isolde at the end of their therapy session (ignoring the fallout of that lmaoooo) because it shows that she's genuinely wants to make the world a better place. i especially love the little bite of cynicism in her.

1) the trails grandma who describes what seems to be kakania's early circle days where she was describing her ideals and trying to get support has a line that's like, kakania is grinning and bearing through it even as she's aware her supporters are patronizing her and seemingly only there for entertainment rather than actually listening to what she's saying 2) her describing the origin of her alias to marcus and part of her speech to isolde has her revealing that she hates the hypocrisy that makes up their society: the freedom of expression and art and progressiveness all the while there are the underclass comprised of immigrants and poor arcanists forcibly kept out of sight. how much she hates prejudice hidden behind bureaucracy. she hates it but she wants to make it better!

i love that she admits when she's hypocritical!!!! kakania wanted a revolution because she knows things as they are aren't great, but when a revolution does happen and it doesn't happen in the way she wants, her beliefs are shaken. granted this is because of manus machinations and is one of the worst ways of changing their current society but still. the point being, UNLIKE HEINRICH: whose thing is that he hated how his friends were forced to fight in wwi and suffered immensely so he wants to erase wwi from existence by making it so the timeline never gets to wwi and if he's gotta have the current world as collateral damage so be it uwu.

other people have spoken more and better about greta and marcus so the only thing i'll add is i absolutely love marcus's voice-acting, especially after shit hits the fan. actually, all our mains (greta, marcus, kakania, isolde, heinrich, even karl - i had to listen to his 'oh. tragic.' line so many times lmao) are excellent!! i think this chapter has my favorite voice-acting and while the rest of the game is also phenomenal, the fact this chapter only had a few noticeable typos and grammar awkwardness kept from hindering the voice work. (also i think the 1.6 survey specifically had a translation question lol, bluepoch is learning)

speaking of heinrich: if i am to understand it correctly, he was recruited by the manus in the same storm that greta recruited marcus from. he got to live in the future for a bit, learned about the fate of his friends, and then returned to his era with the current storm. in essence, he got to see people who already died. (you following me here?) now the question is: if a storm happens to take us to before 1929, is there a chance to see schneider again? or, because heinrich's friends died in wwi he can see them but because schneider was sifted by the storm, she's gone no matter how far we go back?

additional thots:

i'm loving the idea of a kakania vs mesmer jr showdown. therapist who needs a therapist vs therapist who needs a therapist. need them to have tea and passive aggressively psychoanalyze each other.

so we know kakania started the circle and theophil and heinrich and others were part of it. did isolde join the circle herself or is this a 'theophil joined and brought his little sister to the hangout and she keeps showing up so now she's unofficially part of it too' situation?

so part of isolde's character is that she's hidden behind layers of repression and ghosts and playing the part of what her audience wants. is the sad lonely girl isolde just an act because that's what kakania wanted? because kakania wanted to prove her methods work, and isolde wanted kakania, this was the way to have her?

i love mesmer jr but i love putting her situations: i know realistically vertin would not put isolde and kakania's rooms anywhere near each other but i love the thought of mesmer's room being between isolde and kakania.

[dangermousie]

Cang Xuan preparing food for Princess Picky personally, despite his exhaustion, because he couldn't for Xiao Yao when they were kids made me think of something.

It's not that Cang Xuan is an unkind person per se. Not at all. Those he loves, he gives his all to - look how tenderly and unstintingly he treats even a mere substitute for Xiao Yao. He is kind and considerate and tender to those who he loves. But only to those he loves. We see the difference in how he treats Xiao Yao after he knows who she is and before, when he thinks that's some random small town physician. The former gets all his care and the latter gets the worms eating her hands. Xiao Yao's personality and character and actions haven't changed, but who she is to him has and so we have this vast difference.

And it makes no difference for XY that he's like that because he's her brother and her closest living family (she is removed from her grandfather and father) and she loves him the way one loves family UNLESS it ever would try to change to a romantic relationship. Because if he's her brother, the relationship is sort of baked in - siblings are siblings regardless of how badly it can go (after all, Tushan Jing and his monster of a brother will unfortunately always be siblings and the latter disassembled the former), but if he wants to move it from cousins who treat each other as siblings to romance (ie people with no familial bond) territory, she can't and won't for a lot of reasons but one of them are the limits of his kindness. It is natural enough to be kind to those you love. But what concerns her, and the reason she reiterates more than once she wants Jing is that the latter is kind to everyone. Hell, the man doesn't want revenge on his torturer even and he's kind to his awful fiance and unpleasant grandma. Xiao Yao, on a basic level, cannot trust she is lovable, that she is someone a person can CHOOSE to love forever - she's had so much abandonment in her life by those who owed her to love her - her family - that it broke something in her on a deeply fundamental level. That is where her wanting a dependent man who will see nothing but her comes in too, but also there is a deep belief that she can't keep anyone's love, not really. So Jing's dependency is Plan A but his kindness is Plan B. She wants someone who will be so devoted to her she will be his one meaning BUT if that devotion fails and love dies (as deep down she believes is inevitable), she wants someone so kind who will still be kind and good to her (and thus won't leave or at least treat her gently) even if he doesn't love her any more, even if he dislikes her.

I remember people being driven mad that Jing didn't seek revenge and/or didn't kick his fiancee to the curb and told granny to shut it but it's that Victorian heroine inability to hurt anyone's feelings, even people who he dislikes at best, is exactly what draws her to him. I mean, why does she give him her magic blood that cures him? He was going to die and there was no indication she going to, after all. It's because of this:

His being almost dead but holding out his hand all night so the hot wax won't fall on her face.

I find it such an interesting thing that the heroine chooses a man on the basis of his gentleness and kindness. It's such a gender role reversal within a narrative.

PS I remember people who didn't like her canon choice complaining that she picked him due to her trauma, if she didn't have it, she'd have picked X instead. I mean, probably true. If she didn't have her trauma she may very well not paid attention to him. Equally, if he didn't have his trauma, he may have very well not paid attention to her. But so what? We are the sum of our experience. To say that if one had a different life one would be a different person with different choices is tautological. We don't have other characters with other lives - we have who we have and they make choices according to that.

[thecasualqueer]

oooooohhhh def def agree with your addition! and just bc your addition got my brain tumbling, if I may add:

"So, I don't think this is something that TV Kara has ever admitted to anyone, to the point where even when being asked by someone close to her who has been through similar things she still can't admit it."

I sooo agree with this PLUS I think the expectations and pressure she felt all added to her not admitting it. Like in the start, she didn't have anyone to really talk to about her survivor's guilt who would really understand why it hurt so much. Someone who wouldn't pity and baby her if she mentioned it. Bc to the Danvers and even to Kal, Kara was just a kid. Not someone who would've been the youngest Kryptonian in the science guild, not someone who will never hear the harmony of prayers in Rao's Temple ever again, not a girl who didn't just lost her family but every single person she's ever met, too.

When Kara was younger (and even in the show, as an adult), the people around her could never fully grasp the depth and grief that Kara carried (which Kara is also infinitely grateful for, she wouldn't wish this pain on anyone), so she definitely kept it in. Both duty-bound to continue living for her parents who told her to, and for her new family who have sacrificed so much to keep her safe and alive. But for a long while, she definitely did not want to.

But what else could she do? Add another point of pain to the people who have already been through so much just to keep her with them?

You're so right in mentioning Kara's martyr-like approach in S1 and I think that applies to the way Kara never really talks about her darker thoughts too. She would martyr her emotions and thoughts if it meant keeping her loved ones from worrying about her. In her mind, and as taught to her way back on a planet that once was home, it is important to be "other-focused" and to show restraint towards things that would "unbalance" the peace.

Kara doesn't admit that she dreams of death bc she doesn't feel like she deserves it and because she doesn't feel like it's fair to share to her loved ones (who, to Kara, have sacrificed so much for her).

anywayysss sorry for the long ask-reply to your addition it just got my brain going brrrrrr 😂😅 I'd love to hear if you have any more additions or different thoughts though!

yes this ☝️☝️☝️

I also think this intense unspoken pain is also what draws her to Mon El. At the point when she meets him she has gone so long feeling this way and never being able to talk about it that when she thinks she has found someone who could finally understand she can't let that opportunity pass by (even if he is the biggest dick to walk the earth).

also... having to send him away after all this??? ie literally subjecting someone else to the the same trauma she's spent her entire trying to get away from, bc it's the only choice she has to save the world.

No wonder she has a mental breakdown and quits her job after!!!!

Also, also, this is one of the things that makes her relationship with Lena so special and unique, bc even though they have vastly different experiences Lena is probably the only person in her life who can relate to having trauma so deep that it cannot even be spoken about. Just like Kara, Lena has been through so much that she is practically bursting at the seems (mentally), and just like Kara, she has had to put on a brave face through all of it.

Like, look me in the eye and tell me that Kara does not put her trauma into little boxes!!!

Anyway, sorry it took so long for me to reply to this ask I've been really busy lately but I hope it was worth the wait.

👉original post (where it started)

[cherubchoirs]

i am glad you still love your supercomputer au! your fanfiction and the pieces you created once is such masterpieces... your old curiouscat link gave an error so i cannot see the answers you gave to people. can you generally tell the au shortly? akiras relationships with phantom thieves, futaba and akiras relationships etc etc

aaaa thank you!! and im sorry so much was on curiouscat that i didn't back up ;o; but i can definitely give a brief overview as well as go into a little more detail about akira!!

for some background, akira was an orphaned child used in the cognitive pscience experiments, as he showed great potential in preliminary testing (ie, what would become his wildcard ability) he grew up housed in a facility for this purpose, with his main social contact through the ten years he was there being YAL20XX, a supercomputer designed to analyze data related to the field. frightened and eventually bitter toward the researchers, YAL was programmed to speak to him for them, keeping him content in a way they couldn't while gathering information he refused to give. this back and forth went on long enough that, in YAL's complexity, he grew into sentience and so into hatred for humanity - akira understood his emotions and yal, with full control of the facility, was able to plan their escape and the subsequent work they did on creating the metaverse navigator

the test for humanity is the same as in canon, with akira playing the role of black mask with his persona, mephistopheles. he is an unknown entity to the conspiracy, but his brutal efficiency means they don't bother to question who he might be. akira, as a person, rarely goes out and refuses to make connections with others, believing yal to be the only being he can trust or that can understand him - he is too different, too changed from who he could have been and what everyone else is, and he carries a great grudge for his mistreatment. he believes in the world yaldabaoth promises, and he is sure humanity will ultimately fail their test regardless of the introduction of the phantom thieves to stand against shido

his connection to the thieves is mixed, somewhat limited, but grows increasingly over time - goro is of course who he meets first, becoming a regular at leblanc so yal can keep a close eye on him through a more human lens (and have an agent that can direct him as needed) goro is very much taken by akira's bright intellect and unusual perspective, while akira slowly comes to appreciate goro's tenacity and his willingness to risk everything in his work as a thief. it's not easy for him to make connections or believe others, but goro doesn't give up on pursuing their relationship, he puts his faith in akira and refuses to leave their friendship at a surface level despite akira's coldness. and that's. very hard for akira to accept. he so fully believes in humanity's irredeemable malice and his own fundamental brokenness that he doesn't know how to feel when goro continuously defies those expectations. goro, as well as all the thieves, risk their freedom and their lives over and over again for victims they don't know, to build a better world without ever receiving praise or compensation. and goro listens to akira, engages with him but gives him space too, reaches out to see if he ever wants to join them for a day out or just spend time together. even if akira keeps saying no, goro will text him again soon. the thieves are good people, and akira isn't the unlovable monster he believed himself to be.

futaba is very interesting in the supercomputer au, because i like to think she's the one that tipped goro off to akira being much more than he seemed - largely because whatever he's using, futaba can't hack into it. it makes akira VERY wary of her, keeping his distance from futaba as much as he can without attracting attention, but she just knows something is up with him if he's got a setup she has no way into. i do like the idea that she basically fries her computer to catch a glimpse of yal with his mess of esoteric code, but it's enough to unravel akira's identity (in a much more convoluted way than canon got to lol) - she traces him back to a user known as "bowman" that was snooping similar government databases as she did, making his connection to cognitive psience come to the forefront. this is compounded by her finding out all of akira's identification, from his name to his apparent history, is all faked when dug into. at this point they all know he will have to be confronted, and that leads into the end of the game

sorry that was kinda long ;;;; but i think that about covers it!!! if you have any other questions i'd be happy to answer those too ^^

[sm0lprism]

I found your BG3 fic on AO3, having no knowledge of g/t whatsoever, and found it so cute that I had to come find your tumblr to learn more! And omg the genre is adorable! I’m loving your fic: Ria herself is such a little (tiny!) badass, and the dynamics with the group are so much fun to read! Your style is really descriptive, too, and conveys a lot in the small actions of the characters.

The first chapter had me cackling at the accuracy — Ria is only alive and not-eaten because Astarion likes the sound of his own voice so much that he talked at her until Official Cat Dad Gale could notice and stop him (“What’s in your mouth? No! Spit that out! That’s people! Bad vampire!”). He literally cannot get out of his own way.

I’m so excited for the next chapter! Poor Ria, that her ally in finding Minthara is the smoothest brain in the party. And this will not be easy for Astarion to explain to the rest of the crew that *this one time* he actually wasn’t trying to eat her. So worried for our teeny friend! I guess worst case scenario… at least he’s undead? So, maybe Ria isn’t in *as much* danger, maybe? Would be kind of hilarious if Astarion knows so little about vampirism as to not even know that eating solid “food” (ie people) doesn’t agree with his undead organs.

So looking forward to Ria meeting Minthara! Ria may be small, but she’s still a tough little lass and I can see Minty respecting that.

Oh my goodness anon, you have no idea just how much this comment means to me - this has made my whole day, no, my whole week, and if I could frame a comment I would frame this one and hang it on my wall. It means even more since you had no idea what g/t was prior to reading my fic, and that is honestly so special to me that you took the time to read it (and liked it!!) and leave such a thoughtful comment. All I can say is welcome to the g/t community! It makes me so happy that you found the community through my fic and I hope you enjoy it! I have been laughing so hard at your description of Astarion finding Ria in chapter 1 and Gale being a cat-dad, like, I actually don't have the words because it's so goddamn accurate and hilarious all at the same time!! As for the latest chapter, I promise that Ria will not be taking a trip down Astarion's throat, so you needn't have to worry about that. Although if he were to swallow, it would be very bad for Ria as I believe in game Astarion can consume solid food, it just doesn't hold a lot of nutritional value for him. However, in my fic, vampires do in fact consume borrowers quite actively for their blood, so it would be a grim end for Ria if he were to actually eat her. ;w; Fortunately for her though, he has developed a small soft spot for her now so she'll be okay <3

Ria's encounter with Minthara is not going to go well. ^^; I don't want to spoil too much, but seeing as how Minthy was involved with trading borrowers for their blood in my fic, she thinks very lowly of them which you'll see in the next chapter when I get around to writing it. Anyhow, thank you so much for your comment. I actually can't stop smiling since I read it and it's probably the best feedback I've ever received for a fic, so thank you anon. <3

[panravenc]

blood manipulation, chosoyuki.

type: one-shot.

character(s): chōsō, tsukumo yuki.

warning(s): none.

a/n: can’t believe it took arinavah recommending this shit for me to get off my ass and write the last one-shot. i’m still not over it sorry alkdsjfhlsd thanks for reading!!

love y'all,

—pau.

"So," Yuki starts, looking at him side-ways. "What other things can you do with your technique?" As always, her voice carries over hints of a mirth he just doesn't seem to get.

Chōsō's getting used to being confused whenever Yuki starts with her double-toned meanings, but it's still a tad frustrating. He doesn't know how to answer, what she's looking for―he's just given her and Tengen a rundown about his abilities in order to formulate the most optimal plan against Kenjaku.

"I have not kept to myself any information regarding my Blood Manipulation, if that is what you are referring to." He doubts it, though.

She laughs, loud and obnoxious, and Chōsō becomes spellbound, heart speeding up. With her hair tied up in a ponytail, magenta eyes glinting with the reflection of the artificial light of the place, it seems impossible to avoid it.

He doesn't know what to think about the alien sensations that flow through his chest in these type of moments. They've been occurring rather frequently as of late. They're not overwhelming, even if he thinks they have the potential to grow into it, but strange, alarming were it not because it appeals to the humanity within him.

And they always, always surge around Yuki.

Certainly, Tengen doesn't seem to inspire the same kind of feelings. Neither has anyone else he's interacted with.

(And although it cannot be compared, the only intensity resembling it is his love for his brothers. Now, that overwhelms him, becomes him; he's based his entire being around it. Being their big brother is what makes him Chōsō, rather than someone else, than anyone else, and what's starting to grow for his blond companion seems dull in comparison. It's not, of course. Nothing involving Yuki could ever be dull.)

"You're such a riot," she snorts, trying to calm her laughter down. "I meant uses outside of combat."

Chōsō frowns. "Not that I have thought of," but he pauses, and thoughtful, retracts himself. "It is useful for calming anxiety."

The surprise she wears on her face makes him question if that was―partially, at least―an incorrect answer. Yuki's difficult to read. It's what makes her intriguing, and piques his interest. It's bothersome, most of the time, though.

"Personal experience?"

"You could call it that, I suppose." And, well, she's looking at him in askance, and never let it be said Chōsō doesn't take any and all opportunities to talk about his brothers. "During the time we spent outside, Eso and Kechizu started to feel anxious about their bodies. I regulated their blood flow in order to calm them down," he explains, remembering those instances of Eso desperately covering his back or Kechizu's teeth grinding into each other. He wonders if he'll do the same for Yūji one day, if any of his other siblings will become like he is and Chōsō will get the chance to dote on them as the eldest.

When he looks back at her, Yuki's giving him a gentle smile. It only lasts for a moment, before she scoffs, amused. "Heh. I imagined it had to be something like that. But it's fine, I like that in a man." And immediately afterwards, she shoots him a wink.

Blood rushes to his cheeks, and now, more conscious about the topic of their conversation, Chōsō avoids it. He likes what he's come to learn are her flirtations, the kisses and gentle holds Yuki's decided to gift upon him during the time they've been in the chambers of Tengen.

"I see," his voice betrays the fluster he's managed to hide, and at his companion's knowing smirk, smug to the point of being irritating, Chōsō decides to go back to the topic. "Then, do you use your bon-ba-ie outside of combat?"

She hums. "I've showed off before. Want me to demonstrate?" Now, if she could tone down the mix of smugness and flirty behaviour, Chōsō would be able to remain calm without the influence of his technique. Whether it's her resting her head in his lap without warning, or hugging him while she's half-asleep, or kissing him in the corner of his lips only to push him down with intentions of devouring him whole (or so it seems), she's got him turning into a mess.

It's as frustrating as it's exciting.

Without waiting for an answer, Yuki closes the distance between them and holds him up. With one arm. Just, leans down, grabs his thighs, and up he goes.

It's startling, but he lets her. It's not a surprise, Chōsō already knows she's strong, and how her technique works. But something inside him shivers. It's―he wants her to keep holding him, for some reason. Put him against the wall like she does in their spars and keep him there as she kisses him, one of those kisses that last, the ones she calls proper kissing.

That's―something, alright.

"Works wonders for impressing pretty women," Yuki comments, as if talking about the weather.

Chōsō doesn't know anything about picking up, as Yuki's called it before, neither women nor men. But if it incites in any of them a fraction of what he's feeling, then it's not strange the blonde can brag about her experience with it.

"I suppose it would," it's all he says. Yuki's the one with the knowledge about double entendres and how to get under one's skin, not him. "I can imagine how Blood Manipulation could be used in similar ways."

She lets him down, curiosity overtaking her. "Oh?"

One of the fastest ways to attract Tsukumo Yuki's attention is to appeal to her intrigue. Chōsō's noticed it in the days they've spent together. It's―cute, dare he think. Not like when some of his brothers get into their mischief, but nonetheless, to him, equally charming.

"If it is to show harmless intent and mastery over one's technique," Chōsō starts, biting his thumb and letting the blood flow down, controlling it in order for it not to spill. "Would this suffice?"

Hundreds of small flowers bloom from his blood, exploding all around them. He doesn't know the name of the plant, had only seen them around in the hide-out with Kenjaku, apparently there for masking purposes, but it seems adequate. The buds are small, the petals, too, but in their arrangement, they make a beautiful bouquet.

"The mexican bloodflower?" Yuki asks, surprised. "Fitting."

"Is that its name?"

She smiles at him and shrugs. "One of them, at least."

Yuki stares at the flowers for some time, touches a couple of them. Chōsō feels it when she does, in that distant way he's aware of everything the blood under his control touches. Following his impulses, he forms more flowers around her, extending the real-life painting.

Blood suits her.

(His blood, specifically.)

"It's very beautiful, Chōsō," she comments, before looking around one more time and snickering. "Look at you, learning how to have some game. Many would fall for it."

At this point, Chōsō doesn't know if she's making fun of him or not, but he doesn't care. Whether it's a joke he doesn't get or a statement she speaks like truth, he will take Yuki's words and continue on.

"I am not interested." He responds, making quick work of returning his blood into his veins and sealing the wound.

Yuki raises an eyebrow. "Oh? Does that mean it's just for me, then?"

Suggestive. That's the one word Chōsō would describe her attitude towards him. Suggestive of sexual want, he could guess. Flirtatious.

And he doesn't understand it quite yet, how she works the game, but he enjoys it the best he can. In their quiet moments, in the middle of their spars, in conversations that have nothing to do with their current situation.

Chōsō likes it. He likes her.

"If that is how you want to take it," he allows, because it's true, either way.

She grins. She's amused, having fun, and it's a marvel. "Lucky me." Without warning, descends her lips upon his, but getting over the initial surprise, he follows her rhythm, enjoying the moment.

Should they both make it out alive, he thinks, he would like to have her around. Have her meet his brothers, and understand all of what she makes him feel.

Even if she doesn’t stay, that’s fine, too.

Whatever becomes of them, at least they’ll have had this.

[italiansteebie]

not a prompt or hc but i just wanted to say that i found it interesting how you, and autistic steve truther, and i, an autistic nancy truther, view stancy completely differently despite both being extremely against the ship. you see nancy as the one who hurt steve in the relationship, whereas i see steve as the one who wronged nancy. no hate at all, you're fully entitled to your own opinion and views, i just thought this was interesting based on our respective interpretations of both characters.

thanks for sharing bc i've been wanting to talk about this!

i am a truther of both, nancy's actions hurt steve, she could not see why, she didn't understand how steve felt differently about barb and barbs death, it was black and white thinking, she was so hyper focused on barb and her own guilt that she could not focus on thinking about the way her actions could effect steve. much like her other story lines, she gets so focused on finding the truth or bringing justice (autism) that she forgets that her actions can and will effect the people around her, and although she isn't meaning to hurt them, she's pushing them away in order to fulfill her own sense of justice. (autism)

steve, ever the masker, was so focused on what he thought he was supposed to do that when it didn't work out how he thought, he was crushed. because of his deep deep mask, the only way his brain thought to react was what he has seen from his friends and likely his family, (autistic mask) and hurt nancy by calling her a slut.

they hurt each other, they were both wronged by each other, that is why stancy should NEVER be end game. and i stand by that.

nancy doesnt understand that she's pushing people away. she doesn't see it like that, just because her focus isn't on them doesn't mean she doesn't care.

steve doesnt understand why nancy won't fit into the role he created for her in his mind. when she broke that role, he couldn't comprehend the hurt and the change. and he tried to rationalize by getting even IE, his own sense of justice.

(we cannot forget the hurt they both inflicted. nancy DID cheat on steve. not intending to hurt him, but trying so hard to break the role steve tried to force on her. i fully believe steve did not love her, but thought it's what he HAD to do.)

they both deserve apologies from each other. but they should not date. nope.

[remyxavierr]

I had my first therapy appointment ever yesterday and it felt so good to say to a medical professional within Canada (though she was also an immigrant) that I feel like Canadian doctors have taken my bipolar I diagnosis and the symptoms I experience from it less seriously because while in the US I didn't hospitalize myself after a suicide attempt while manic nor while I was experiencing hallucinations during psychosis.

I feel like born-Canadians are incredibly ungrateful people, which is obviously very generalizing of a large amount of people, but I don't think I'm wrong. Born-Canadians are so quick to criticize their FREE healthcare because, oh god forbid, they have to wait a little bit. "Americans don't have to wait! Our healthcare could be much better!" Americans would rather DIE than go to the hospital because they cannot afford the debt that will put them in. I moved to Canada when I was 25, and, at that point (aside from seeing a doctor once while 23), I hadn't seen a doctor even semi-regularly EVER. I saw a doctor maybe once or twice when I was 7-9, but that's it. My parents were already in crippling hospital debt from having 3 kids and having an idiot middle child who would put anything down her throat (ie. Bleach, multiple pennies).

The first time I saw a doctor in Canada after becoming a permanent resident, after the appointment while walking out, I had so much anxiety because you didn't have to go to the front desk and pay an exorbitant amount of money for a 10 minute appointment. I felt like I was stealing, like I would have the police called on me. It's a feeling I would experience many more times upon going to the doctor before my body and mind could finally calm down and accept that Canada cared about its citizens and wanted them to get the healthcare they deserved, BECAUSE HEALTHCARE IS A HUMAN RIGHT.

Even to this day, after being in Canada 5.5 years, it still fills me with rage when Canadians ask me "but why would you LEAVE the US?! That's crazy!" It still fills me with rage when I tell Canadians that I like the national healthcare here and they start to shit talk it and bitch and moan about long waits. When I was 18, I got pregnant. It was unplanned. I was inconsolable. I didn't want to be a mother ever, let alone a young mother, but my boyfriend and my own mother were so excited that it made me feel guilty. A little less than 2 months later, I miscarried. You want to know what I was most upset about in that experience? That I was going to lose the free healthcare they give to low-income mothers and the food stamps (called WIC) for low-income mothers that I had enjoyed those last almost 2 months. My family has always been quite poor, and upon moving out and making my own way, I was just as poor. I am still poor, even in Canada, but I don't have to have an unwanted child just to get some fucking healthcare in this country like women have to do in the United States.

Anyway, I love Canada for lots of reasons although it does have its downfalls, like any country does. I am very grateful for the free healthcare, like most immigrants here are, because I can get treatment for a mental illness that wreaked havoc on my life for so long, unchecked, a mental illness that almost took my life. But also for my chronic migraines that I thought would melt my brain, and even for small stuff like: I have this dry cough that has been persisting for 5 months, or my wrist hurts! It's amazing! Wow! Some people have lived their whole lives with this! What is that like?

[lifeneedsrot]

⚓️listen up buccaneers! This ship has been real mismanaged lately, but I run a tight ship here. Our main account is starshipsys, and this is our VENT and NSFW account. Expect lots of barely censored triggering topics on this account. I’m talking NSFW as in gore, not porn, but there will be horny textposts. That’s not what this account used to be, but it’s what it is now!

Our system used to be split in half, with one half on the other account, and the other half on this account. That’s not how it’s gonna work anymore. We’re ONE crew, and we won’t be having any mutinies here. I will listen to all crewmates but ultimately I’M the guy in charge, got it? This account is for ANYONE in the system to use. It’s where we put the gross stuff that we don’t want to share on our main. If we’re following you, either you post stuff we want to see, or you’re a friend we trust.

We are proship and proendo. I don’t give a shit what you believe in or how your system formed. I don’t give a shit what you’re into because we’re into weird shit as a coping mechanism, and we’re not about that gatekeeping lifestyle. We are willing to befriend ANYONE as long as they’re respectful and don’t cause us harm. I don’t care what you’ve done or believed. I only care who you are now and how you treat me, my system, the people close to me, and the people close to you. Close meaning both in proximity and in intimacy. We don’t bother engaging with obvious bait and arguments that would get nowhere, so don’t bring discourse here.

With all that being said, here’s a list of alters and what to expect, as well as the ideal way of interacting with them. We are not used to the tumblr tagging system, but I’m gonna try and get us to start tagging things as “[insert alter name] starshipsys” to make it possible to filter certain alters out or search for certain alters in particular. Unless otherwise specified, all alters enjoy being talked to about whatever they’re saying.

🧤Agate, they/them. 8. Childhood trauma venting, general fears and anxiety, sadposting. Please talk to them, avoid sexual subjects and violent subjects.

🪩Boppie, they/them. 21. Wanting to do drugs, wanting to go to parties, generally very bad life advice and unhealthy coping mechanisms. They won’t be able to have a very deep conversation with you, but love talking to people.

♠️Cole, he/it. 21. Venting about lost relationships within the system, references to self harm or alters attempting to self harm, weird sexual stuff about being turned on by sharp objects piercing soft flesh. He holds a lot of autistic symptoms, and doesn’t talk much.

🐰Daisy, she/her. 7. Hypersexual syskid, yes they are real, but we’re not comfortable sharing anything she wants to say anyway. You can only talk to her if she talks to you first, and you cannot engage in any of her sexual nature unless you have our simplyplural and a safe alter is fronting alongside her. Trying to sexualize her without explicit permission from a safe alter and HER will result in us never talking to you ever again.

🔭Estella, she/they. 21. Mostly just frustration with classes. Feel free to talk to her.

🐁Fobi, it/she. Nonhuman adolescent. Panic attacks, triggering situations we experience in real life, irrational behavior in an attempt to prevent abuse from happening again (IE disfiguring yourself out of fear that being attractive will result in sexual assault). Please try to talk to it and calm it down, if Fobi is fronting we are probably in an immediate danger.

🦇Grim, it/any. Nonhuman adolescent. Romanticization of abusive behaviors, fawning stress response. It wants to be abused in every way. Try to reassure it that it can be loved without being abused.

🌺Haven, she/he. 21. Mostly just rambles about the people we love, affection towards friends, maybe even soft hornyposting. She likes talking to people, especially if you’re our friend. He might even make a post about you if you talk to him.

✏️Indigo, they/them. 12. Probably vents about not being able to achieve our dreams and life goals we had when younger. Get them talking about a special interest and they’ll adore you. Sex repulsed, don’t bring that up.

🎊Jynx, she/any. Ageless entity. God complex posting, torture threats, and domination fantasies (sexual and nonsexual). She is actually friendly, despite how mean she presents herself as, and desperate for the approval of others.

🍠Kakxyl, he/any. Ageless entity. He is the alter that changes the roles of other alters, and will talk about everything all of the other alters talk about, but from an outside perspective. He won’t engage in conversation if he’s busy.

🫐Lynx, he/any. Ageless entity. Not much, really. Probably won’t post at all. He can barely communicate, and generally him fronting means we’re experiencing a wide variety of emotions, specifically from an emotional attack on either the inside or outside.

⚓️Maverick, they/he. 21. Goals for the future and plans, as well as general venting about daily frustrations. Assume they’re talking to another alter unless they’re talking directly to you.

🍥Nyan, he/she. 6-8. Whatever kids complain about when they don’t have trauma, idk. Please talk to them and try to cheer them up. If you bring up anything traumatic, though, we will be very upset with you. He probably won’t even be allowed on this account anyway.

🚀Oscar, he/him. Nonhuman adult. Vents about how awful all of our relationships and the people we love are. He specifically holds the splitting towards hate symptoms of BPD whereas Haven and Grim hold splitting towards love. Don’t take what he says too seriously, he is intentionally trying to push you away because he is afraid you’ll abuse us. Don’t talk to him unless you’re in a sane enough mental state to deal with him.

🩵Present, she/it. Nonhuman adult. Sad posts about our relationship with an ex, and attempts to comfort other alters. She likes when people talk to her, but can be a bit of a downer.

🥀Quasiren, they/them. 17-19. Venting about relationships in an attempt to build a codependent relationship with someone. They love when people talk to them.

🥩Raptorse, it/its. Nonhuman adult. Vorny (vore+horny) posting, hunger. Doesn’t hold conversations very well unless they involve food.

🎆Starbound, she/any. Ageless entity. Rage posting, threats to hurt herself or others, general aggression. If you weren’t the reason she fronted, feel free to talk to her. If you are the reason she fronted, you should probably wait about thirty minutes to an hour after she starts fronting. You can ask her if you made her front.

🪱Tazelein, he/any. Ageless entity. Torture posting, threats to torture, horny posting, romanticization of literally every bad thing ever. Yes, every bad thing ever. Yes, even that. He doesn’t represent our “true feelings” about anything, he mostly just provides a source to point to for our intrusive thoughts. He will say some fucked up shit to you, but he loves people very much, and hates death.

🕊️Utopia, they/them. Ageless entity. Weird philosophical or religious nonsense. Will probably try to convert you to whatever religion they’re making up right now.

🦠Vitriol, it/its. Nonhuman adult. Hatred for the system, disgust for all alters, will talk about everything we’ve ever done wrong. Wants to push people away to protect them from us. Won’t want to talk to you, most likely, unless you directly triggered its fronting.

🕸️Webber, they/any. Ageless entity. Abandonment issues, trust issues, soft bondage, probably some hornyposting. Will love talking to you, but tends to ramble and send very long messages.

🔥Xray, he/him or xe/xim/xis. Primordial god. Generic and vague complaints about our daily life. Likes to cut to the chase in conversations and be very direct.

🌲Yarrow, they/it or yey/yem/yeir. Primordial god. Long rambles about various alter’s mental states, similar to what Kakxyl may post, but with the purpose of informing outsiders rather than changing the perspectives of alters. Yey want someone to listen to and talk with, but might stop replying spontaneously if yey get particularly invested in documenting something.

🌊Zenith, ze/zer/zers. Primordial god. Positive things, sexual things, and general bragging about our life and our successes. Ze loves people and would love to talk.

As a general rule, only talk to alters that you’re comfortable talking to. No, this is not roleplay. We have disabling DiD, and yes it is diagnosed. If you do something to upset us, we will tell you directly before we publicly vent about it.

[thegeminisage]

STAR TREK UPDATE TIME quick fast. last night we watched tng's "gambit part ii" and ds9's "cardassians"

gambit part ii (tng):

well, this continued to be underwhelming and frustrating for reasons outlined in my previous post

i will cop to maybe not following the plot as closely as i could have been but i thought the artifact turning out to be a weapon was fucking stupid, especially considering it was a Mind Weapon. girl what on earth. we didn't even get to visit vulcan properly

i DID however call that vulcan racefaking as romulan which i was quite thrilled about

vulcan race purity extremists right as we're having bajoran race purity extremists in ds9...girl what is in the water out there. everybody calm down. globalization (galaxization?) is not the end of the world

i did perk up a little when riker was forced to play his literal charade with other people, such as worf and beverly, but it was so brief as to be nearly insulting

this is the only time i think i have not sided with data in an argument...i don't think there was any reason to take poor worf to the woodshed like that :( i'm glad they're still friends though

cardassians (ds9):

oh i had STARS in my eyes this entire episode. i have been COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS until we see garak again and he did NOT disappoint

from what i saw of gifs i never expected his and julian's relationship to be like this...i expected julian to be mister stammery and for garak to enjoy making him squirm. which would have been great and i would not object to it in future content but what we got was a welcome surprise in that it was way more complex!!

like, julian as the garak whisperer...sisko didn't summon garak to his office directly he told julian to have garak there at a certain time. "he never tells me what he's actually thinking i just sort of deduce it"etcetc. i also like julian instinctively knowing when to let garak come to him and when to be firm with him ie stop the whole fucking shuttlecraft until his ass gets some real answers. we havent seen much of his bedside manner yet so to speak but he actually CAN be good with people! or maybe just good with garak

i can't wait to find out more about garak. the worst part of a garak episode is knowing now you have to wait a long time until the next garak episode. i love that he deliberately keeps us out of the loop even though i am DYING to know everything about him. you get the idea that he's really been through something

side bar how and why is he able to get into julians room in the middle of the night???? did julian give him the door code jic 👀other side bar i love this mans little silk pajamas. actually everybodys pj game was on point

cardassian war orphans FUCKED UP. no one is coming to take them back to cardassia, except the one who doesn't want to go. i am SO relieved they didn't pull a tng here by the way. going in i was almost sure they wouldn't but still

bonus points for obrien being fantasy racist in front of his japanese wife. she used her teacher voice to set him straight and not another word of that came out of his mouth for the entire episode. one that man knows about happy wife happy life. two it's a good callback to him also having a card in the cardassian-hating game. pretty sure we said "that was a very ugly thing you just said i dont need to hear it twice" about 1000 times to each other during the rest of the episode

my only gripe with this episode is that i would have liked to hear where kira comes down on this...this episode was very full and not really About her, but the absence of her felt very weird, especially when most of the cardassian stuff involves her so heavily. you can sort of guess where she'd stand ("if they don't like the way we parent they shouldn't have left them here and also we're being way nicer to them than they ever were to bajoran children") but i'd still like to hear it FROM HER. a shame we just didn't seem to have room

of course, i cannot possibly end this post without a shoutout to my very best friend sisko. my favorite sisko moment in this episode was his increasing incredulity when bashir interrupted his MEETING WITH A CARDASSIAN POLITICIAN to interrogate him without warning and then said "it was the highlight of my day. don't do it again." and then bashir did it again. my second favorite part was when bashir woke him up at fuck o clock and said he needed a runabout and sisko was like girl why and julian was like im sorry i have no idea and sisko was like well by all means. will one runabout do. like. he's so wry and sarcastic and at the same time so chill with breaking the rules when it matters - he trusts julian enough to know he wouldn't ask for a shuttle without a good reason and julian trusts him enough not to get mad at the request even when it comes at fuck o clock in the morning. like, he's so GOOD with his people and they respect him so much. im anxiously waiting for more sisko-centric content almost as much as i am for more garak content!!!

TONIGHT: tng's "phantasms" and ds9's "melora."

[rolansrighthorn]

Get To Know Your Tav

Tagged by @voloslobotomyservice I won't tag anyone since I already did in the other post but if you see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged!

Link to my first post here.

I have two I would like to introduce but tumblr's text limit is forcing me to do two seperate posts, and this is the second one. This post is dedicated to my OC, Willow Hvithrafn, she is in her late 20s and is a white high half elf with dove white hair and hazel eyes with gold flecks. I am still debating if she will have freckles/sunspots.

I have NOT published ANY chapters of Tender For You so all of this information will contain spoilers!

What is their:

Favorite weapon? Willow has a Starlight Glaive (akin to the Moonlight Glaive) that she saved her own money since she was a child to have made specially by a local high elf. The high elf was a priestess of Lathander and wanted to create the Sunlight Glaive for Willow, but Willow is half Moon Elf and felt more connected to the stars.

Style of combat? Willow is a Vengeance Oath Paladin and loves any situation in which she can smite an opponent with her Starlight Glaive.

Most prized possession? Her Starlight Glaive is her most prized possession for sure. Her second would be a little gem she found when she was out scouting with Geraldus (she gave him one as well).

Deepest desire? I think she has two. The first being she wants nothing more than to help keep balance in the world and to protect those who cannot protect themselves. She also wishes for a very long and happy life with Geraldus once she accepts her feelings towards him.

Guilty pleasure? Even if she's had enough food, she loves when Geraldus comes up to her lookout and shares berries with her he foraged. She is a glutton not for food, but for any amount of interaction and attention from Geraldus.

Best-kept secret? Willow has largely convinced the mass majority of those around her that she is an eternally crabby, heartless, uncaring creature despite having joining the Harpers for the greater good. There are only a handful of people who see through this, and even less who give her any effort of friendship.

Greatest strength? Her greatest strength is her righteousness/sense of justice. If there is any enemy she is focused wholly on eliminating them- unless Geraldus is in direct way of harm.

Fatal flaw? This is a great question to ask right after the above because Geraldus is her biggest weakness. She had no idea she could ever want or love someone and when out together she is always too focused on his safety, which creates weaknesses in her group's formation and puts not only her life at risk but everyone else's as well.

Favorite scent? Willow loves the scent of the pine forests and rain, which remind her of Geraldus. His musk is also a scent she loves.

Favorite spell/cantrip? She actually hates using magic aside from her Smiting spells.

Pet peeve? Other people just existing. She wants to protect the world, but finds the world wholly obnoxious and frustrating to exist in.

Bad habit? Willow is quick to anger and quick to run away from any confrontation or problem outside of direct combat (ie with teammates, friends, family, etc)

Hidden talent? One night she and Geraldus discover she is quite good at playing the Lute.

Leisure activity? Willow loves laying at her lookout with Geraldus, watching the sun set and subsequently watching the stars twinkle and move across the night sky.

Favorite drink? She isn't much of a drinker of anything aside from water- she isn't a fan of hangovers or the dryness in your mouth alcohol leaves.

Comfort food? She isn't enough of a fan of food to really have a comfort food, but she really enjoys eating beef.

Favorite person(s)? Willow dislikes everyone by default. Her two favorite people are Geraldus and the Dragonborn Paladin she befriends, Kava.

Favored display of affection? She is not a very sexual or open person. Most of the time when she shows affection it is in the form of hooking her pinky with Gerladus' pinky or just holding his hand.

Fondest childhood memory? Willow's childhood holds very little she would want to even remember, but there is too much pain linked with her past for her to consider anything as "fond" or positive.

Anything else you’d like to share? Willow will only ever let Geraldus all the way in to her heart. He will be the only one to ever see her for who she truly is underneath all the fear and hurt, and he loves her as she is. Once they get together he will be the single most important thing in her life, even being a Harper comes second to being Geraldus' protector and lover.

[lesbianlenas]

are you pro choice?

of course i am pro choice….u cannot be a feminist if u aren’t pro choice. the base core tenant of feminism is for women to have bodily autonomy which is impossible w/o access to abortion. no woman or girl should be forced to have a baby and women can’t be liberated from patriarchy w/o full reproductive autonomy. the literal basis of misogyny is men wanting to control reproduction which is the one thing they are not able to control so they have to subjugate women to do it. u cannot have women’s liberation w/o abortion access. idc if any woman personally doesn’t want to have an abortion or if they are morally against it for themselves if they want to call themselves a feminist they need to understand that other women MUST have the right to control whether or not they are pregnant. and i am not just pro choice i LOVE abortion 🤩 i dont think there is anything wrong w it at all and women should have the ability to decide what they want to do w their lives forever and ever. allowing men to control women’s bodies only leads to women being abused and prevented from taking the steps to develop their own independent lives. making abortion a moral issue is entirely religious doctrine (painting women who become pregnant unintentionally as being impure, deviant, seductresses, and immoral who should have been good catholic women waiting for marriage and doing their family planning) and has no place in secular society. you can only place “life” on a bunch of cells if u believe in the existence of souls separate from the body (ie you are a soul living in a body rather than just being your body) which again does not align w secular thought which is what laws are meant to be based on.

and in any case if there is any woman out there that wants an abortion and can’t get one and is forced to give birth to the child the quality of life of that child will probably be low. is it worth it to bring a child into an unfair life situation based on the morals of other ppl and men’s desire to force women to produce more babies to continue fueling the workforce? if anyone truly cares abt these “babies” they believe have to be born they would understand that allowing a woman to have an abortion for an unwanted pregnancy is a bigger mercy to the child than being born into an abusive environment or being put into foster care or into adoption (adoption is much more traumatic than media would have u believe) or having a mother who isn’t able to properly care for them for w/e reason. so many ppl have an inability to understand that being alive can actually be worse than nonexistence.

even more so if they want to prevent abortions from taking place instead of banning abortions (which does NOT lower the rate of abortions it only makes it more unsafe) there should be a focus on improving sex education and access to contraception for both men and women so that young ppl are better educated on how to prevent unwanted pregnancies so less will happen. lack of sex education doesn’t prevent young ppl from having sex all it does is cause them to have unprotected sex. so sex ed is a WAY better focus for preventing abortion than banning abortion but it’s not abt that anyway. it’s not abt preventing abortion at all it’s abt forcing women to have babies. and if they are more educated and not becoming pregnant they can’t be forced to have more babies (to fuel the workforce like i said).

and anyway. no woman should be forced to go thru permanent changes of her body that could result in future complications or death during the pregnancy. if a woman doesn’t want to be pregnant she shouldn’t be. period. i think abortion is beautiful and wonderful and any woman should be able to get one for any reason.

sorry for going off but like i have a VERY strong pro abortion stance i mean i have very strong feminist opinions in general but reproductive autonomy is THE basis of feminism. u cannot have feminism w/o reproductive autonomy!!!

[dangermousie]

I have been feeling in the mood for rewatching something very melo and old-school and of all possible dramas, the one that comes to mind is delightfully melo 2004 kdrama Say You Love Me with very young Kim Rae Won. 15 eps of deliciousness. The plot is take Dangerous Liasons but make it wholesome ie the best thing ever.

Kim Rae Won and Yoon So Yi are a pure and unworldly couple brought up by Buddhist monks who consider holding hands the height of sexual ecstasy. Alas, they end up in the Big City of Sin and things are about to go pear-shaped as they meet Yina, who the drama tries to claim is more complex than what she really is - a batshit secondary girl so beloved by old kdramas and yours truly. She becomes KRW's boss but does not like seeing all that pure and happy love so she asks her hot friend with benefits to seduce the girl while she decides to work on Kim Rae Won. Honestly, I watched this over a decade ago, so all I remember is monks, KRW's cheeks, happy ending with bicycles and the below scene where Lady Cougar finally gets her claws into Buddhist Virgin. (@aysekira is now groaning because I shared it with her earlier.)

So, our pure as the driven (or more aptly never driven) snow KRW brings his drunk boss to her house.

He: OK, I brought my supposedly drunk boss home, can I go now to dream of butterflies and puppies? She: I have Kim Rae Won in my house! In other words, not so fast, buster! I know the lighting is arthouse but this drama ain't!

He: OK, I really need to go home, my equally virginal gf is coming back in the morning! Maybe she will let me get to the second base, I must be ready.

She: I can talk or take my top off. It's a kdrama, so I'll talk.

Does she mean she is into bdsm? Well, at least she is being honest, even if he doesn't seem to be happy with it.

At this point, even almost a monk dude is realizing something is way off and trying to steer it into safer channels.

Seriously, adorable! I want to pinch his cheeks! So does she, even if it's a different set of cheeks.

God, I miss the craziness of old school secondary girls. They were so unhinged and glorious! Also, clearly there was no sexual harassment and hostile environment claims in old timey kdrama Korea because she's not just any cougar, she's his boss! (If you ask me what job monk educated dude of monkishess could possibly, I will frankly admit that I do not remember, and cannot honestly imagine.)

We have all so been there with truly awkward convos with insane people.

OK, I laughed. She literally pounces on him from behind like a demented bear. Btw, the fact that they are wearing about 17 layers of clothing makes it even more surreal. Between them they are exposing about three inches of skin total and that includes the noses.

Meanwhile, in case we don't get the irony, his Pure Girlfriend is gazing lovingly at his necklace and thinking 'I love my boyfriend because he'd never give up the jewel he promised to Jesus Buddha to anyone but me. Certainly not the sleazy boss lady who must have more STDs than James Bond'

Meanwhile, at the Den of Sin, Buddhist Virgin tries to extricate himself. However, he is surprisingly non-efficient for a man who's a foot taller and a good 100lb heavier. Even if his Buddhist principles prohibit punching her in the kisser, surely he can shove her or something. Or just fall backward on top of her and smoosh her.

And then she goes for the kill. I note that despite his clenching his fist in emotional agony, soon he's macking on her quite thoroughly with his mouth. That is what happens when you get abstinence only education and never enjoy yourself despite healthy libido. Your poor hormones probably go "quick quick before his beliefs suppress us again, this is our only chance!"

Birds and bees indeed! (Also, I see where your hands are, buster. They are around Ms. Cougar!)

(I half expected it to be a rose and for it to wilt or at least a petal to fall off, iykyk)

In the morning after, she is enjoying her beauty sleep and he's understandably freaking out. (Sinfully, he is now down to mere two layers of clothing and secondary girl, to show her sluttiness, is down to merely one!)

OK, I like to make fun but I do genuinely feel bad for the kid especially since I am much much older than I was when I first watch this drama and I just want to cut crusts off his sandwiches, tell him to avoid strange women and carry mace or something.

He bolts from her touch and she is genuinely surprised. I am not sure why as he's a devout dude with a serious girlfriend; if she wanted a more pleasant end to her night, she should have dragged in a character played by Jang Ki Yong, who's sort of made a niche for a younger hunk rejoicing in casually being banged by older ladies. (If you want to feel really old, Jang Ki Yong was 11 when this drama came out. You are welcome.)

If you think this face means realized this was a dumb choice and unlikely to lead to anything good, you are not familiar with old time kdramas. I genuinely do not get her obsession because sure KRW is cute as hell but the sex couldn't have been much good and he generally treats her as a leper.

His gf comes home but he doesn't meet her because he is too dirty and unworthy to see her!

And then they talked it out and worked it out.

Ha!!!! This is a 15 ep drama, we are only getting started baby!

So yeah, watch me rewatch this insanity.