#but i don't feel that's necessary
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"Lone Bloom"
The last oil painting for class
The idea was to take Russian khokhloma and fit it to an abstract composition, based on a digital piece I had made a few weeks previously for another class. This ended up being quite a loose interpretation of khokhloma and really became its own thing, especially with this much blue and the irregular forms. Still, it was a fun piece and it helped me explore this style further in preparation for my spring capstone, if the current plan pans out that is.
Wips below the cut!
Since last spring, I've been thinking more about drawing upon my Russian heritage for art inspiration. My mom is Russian and I had some Russian influence as a kid, but overall I grew up American with very little connection to Russia or my family there. (I only just started learning Russian in college a few years ago, and I suck ass at it!!) But when I had to come up with a visual style for a game project last spring, Degrowth, I drew upon that heritage as a source of inspiration. Now I'm considering exploring Russian folk art styles further for my senior capstone project next spring. We'll see how it goes!
This was my first time making my own canvas stretcher bars (big shout out to @snekinnatenk for the help!!!) and only the second time I've worked on canvas! (the first time was like 3.5 years ago lol) Glad I got to try it out at least once this semester, even if it takes forever to prepare (though I really wish I tried it for previous paintings, turns out illustration board kinda blows lmao)
#forgot to measure the dimensions and i can't be bothered to go back into the studio to check rn lol#sorry for all the yapping oop#i could go on about some of the thoughts i have for my capstone project but i feel it might be best to wait lol#my art#UpsideDownSmore's art#art#artists on tumblr#oil painting#painting#abstract art#maybe i'll throw this in krita like i did with the last painting just to see if i can push it even further#but i don't feel that's necessary#which is a good feeling honestly
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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Cellbit: Ordem Paranormal 🔥
Roier: Enigma do Medo 🔥🔥🔥
In honor of today's Ordem Paranormal news, here's a little compilation of some classic "Enigma do Medo" moments with Roier and Cellbit.
#Roier#Cellbit#QSMP#Ordem Paranormal#Enigma do Medo#Paranormal Order#Cellboier#I could've subtitled this but 99% is just Roier saying ''Enigma do Medo'' or variations of it#Edited#Definitely more moments out there but these are just the ones I had readily available lol#I was going to say ''And the Spanish isn't too complex'' but that's such a wildly biased thing for me to say PFTT sorry#I don't have time or energy to transcribe this but maybe another day#Translations aren't super necessary to enjoy this video so I don't feel too guilty sharing it as is#Also holy crap that clip where Maximus is telling Roier to say ''There's enigmas'' Roier looks so frickin good#Anyways shoutout to the various Roier and Cellbit update accounts they're the only reason I have so many of these clips#Portfolio
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I know some people aren't fans of really domestic jayroy, but for me it's getting even more desirable, especially because of what happens in Gotham War.
Because I know nothing more ironically comical than Jason being actually very capable of just living a normal domestic life, and it's purely because the people he is living that life with are people who are not constantly antagonizing him.
#not that it would be good enough for some (you know who)#because jason is still killing people when he deems it necessary#but just him being accepted as he is and actually personally healing in that kind of environment is really important to me#because having people around you that are actually able to trust you and you them in everything#and who don't constantly criticise you as a baseline#is what makes you stable enough to heal#who would've thought#tho idk from what I've read again. I don't think it really matters to you know who if jason is actually healing and feeling better#what matters is that he does as he is told#sorry for being critical yet again but it really does come across to me like that#dc#jason todd#jayroy
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Since we'll hopefully be getting out of the VnC hiatus soon, and this new arc seems to finally be turning the spotlight back to Noé and calling out some of his more troubling traits for the first time, I've been thinking a lot about him recently.
I've talked before on this blog about Noé's inability to recognize or process bad things when they happen to him alone. He bounces back from and idealizes almost any experience as soon as it's over, even when he absolutely shouldn't. It's one of my favorite traits of his, and it's been lampshaded a couple of times in-manga. Louis calls out how weird his attitude toward his kidnapping is during the mémoire 9 flashback, and the "be a little bothered" from Vanitas and co in mémoire 57 has the same effect.
We also recently got a whole extended sequence of Vanitas and Domi complaining about how Noé also never anticipates harm before it might come to him. He waltzes into dangerous situations like it's nothing, almost as if he thinks he's unkillable. Combined with the above, this is just more of his strange brand of optimistic denial. Everything is fine in Noéland! It can't possibly not be fine! He always trusts and thinks the best of people and situations by default, never wanting to expect they may do wrong, and so long as a given event doesn't involve harm to external innocents and/or Noé's loved ones that he can't rationalize away, he compartmentalizes and denies harm once it's done. Thus he carries on in blissful ignorance, his past suffering having no effect on the blithe trust with which he treats the world.
But in addition to all that, Noé is also very notably divorced from the consequences of his own actions. It's not that he's *incapable* of considering his own effect on people, and he certainly tries to be kind and decent, but much of the time, it just doesn't seem to occur to him that people will have reactions to the things he does. He does as he sees fit, and when his deeds impact the people around him, especially if they produce a reaction that could upset him, it bounces off his mind in the same way that potential traumas do.
On the more lighthearted end of the spectrum, this leads to things like Noé never noticing when people are attracted to him. It may also have something to do with his airheaded messiness—the way he's always thoughtlessly making a mess of the hotel room and incurring Vanitas's wrath in bonus materials. On the heavier end of the spectrum, this causes a lot of genuine problems for the people around him. He's largely oblivious to the depth of Dominique's mental health problems until she's pushed to her breaking point at the amusement park, despite the fact that he's inextricably entangled in the cause of them. He also completely loses sight of Vanitas's reactions to him when he gets caught up in his protective rage at the start of the vanoé fight, and it takes an outside reminder from Jeanne and a literal mirror to make him realize that his own actions are part of why Vanitas has devolved to such a state.
This lack of self-perception on Noé's part feeds back into the other problems I laid out at the top of this post, his obliviousness toward his interactions with the rest of the world helping to facilitate his denial. It's part of the happy little insulating bubble that he interacts with the world through. And as the other side of that coin, his automatic, unthinking denial of things that could hurt him is part of what enables him to ignore his own impacts on the people around him. You can't reckon with or worry about harming other people when you live in Noéland where everything must be fine. I think the fact that he wants to be a good person that doesn't harm others actually makes it harder for him to confront the truth of how he impacts the world, because him hurting others is a Bad Thing that would cause him mental harm.
We've seen Noé mess up, understand his mistake, and apologize for it before. He apologizes to Vanitas for making assumptions about him after the bal masqué, he apologizes to Vanitas again at the end of the amusement park fight, and he apologizes to Riche for speaking with ignorance about dhampirs. However, I think the bigger a mistake of his is, the more harm it causes other people (and the more understanding would hurt him as a result), the harder it is for Noé to comprehend his wrongs. He's clearly trying to make things right with Domi, and he's told her that he values her, but I don't know if it's yet occurred to him to conceive of their mess as a situation where he's done her active wrong. He also literally passes out on her mid-conversation, leaving Domi and Vanitas to carry him back to bed when he was supposed to be comforting her.
But I think the most fascinating example, the moment where all this comes together into Noé's most feeble and blatant act of denial yet, is the first time he sees Misha after clawing up his face. The anime actually changes this detail, which is its own can of worms to get into, but in the manga, when Noé sees Misha's injuries in the light of day after attacking him, he immediately fucking turns around.
At the end of his wits at the amusement park, Noé claws a child across the face in a fit of anger and protectiveness. I'm not interested in condemning Noé for this, especially given that the child in question was actively trying to stab Vanitas at the time, but I will say that his actions are quite extreme. Given Vanitas's response and the way Misha's injuries are portrayed, I think it's clear that the manga wants us to see how Noé hurts Mikhail as something troubling and extreme. He gives that kid a pretty horrible injury, and Misha will likely have scars on his face for the rest of his life.
And regardless of how justified he may or may not have been in hurting Misha in defense of Vanitas, it's clear that Noé himself is upset by the true extent of what he does to Mikhail's face. When he looks at him in the light of day, when he sees a numb-looking child with his face wrapped in still-bloody bandages, though we only get to see a small segment of his face in that moment, he looks sick. He knows that he's done something troubling, and I'm sure he feels all kinds of heavy and unpleasant emotions.
This is one genuinely bad thing he's done that Noé cannot deny. He can't rationalize this one away and make it all copacetic. He can't conveniently forget the emotional reality of suffering and harm, because that reality is standing ten yards away from him. And he can't just apologize for things either, because apologies cannot undo physical harm, and frankly, I'm not sure he'd be able to give an honest apology for his one. Sickness at the results of his actions doesn't mean he fully regrets hurting Misha, at least not at this moment when emotions are still raw.
But Noé, confronted with this undeniable source of guilt and pain, is still ultimately unable to look the pain he's caused in the eye. A problem piercing through the happy veil of Noéland and forcing him to acknowledge it doesn't mean he's capable of reckoning with that problem. Instead he just. turns away from it.
Noé, forced to acknowledge a harm he's done and unable to employ all the many layers of automatic insulation that usually protect him, physically turns around because he cannot bear to look at the person, the child, that he's hurt. He employs the very last possible form of avoidance available to him, even though it's useless in the ways that matter. Not looking at Misha doesn't mean he gets to un-know the fact that he maimed him, but he simply cannot bring himself to look.
Noé is extremely good at playing "I do not see it" with things that hurt him. He's good enough that I think he has genuinely no idea he's doing it a vast majority of the time. Whatever mental shield he has that's protecting him is automatic enough that the badness that could hurt him doesn't ever even seem to cross his conscious mind. But no matter how automatic and subconscious, this tendency of his is still, and the end of the day, nothing more than an unhealthy coping mechanism, and this moment helps to put that to our attention.
What's the difference, really, between him cheerfully acting like Jean-Jacques and Chloé's assaults never upset him and him turning around so he doesn't have to look at the wounds he gave Mikhail? Noé can't look at pain, can't acknowledge the things he finds upsetting (at least not things that cause him alone pain, as others' pain often triggers his savior complex and spurs action). This scene with Misha throws that into the light, forcing Noé to desperately cling to his avoidance in an obvious and physical way.
Even when there's no way to deny the harsh reality of having done something he finds horrific, Noé Archiviste cannot make himself look directly at a painful truth, be it others wronging him or his own wrongdoing. It takes an external hand to step in and force him to turn his head and acknowledge/reckon with a problem. And even then, who knows if intervention can always be successful.
The start of the dham arc so far has drawn a lot of attention to this pattern of behavior, with Vanitas having to sit Noé down and explain to him in detail why his words said in well-meaning ignorance make Dante so upset. This is Noé being forced to look at a harm he caused because he couldn't or wouldn't look at and comprehend the problem (his fellow vampires' racism) in the situation he was in. But upsetting Dante is ultimately a low stakes problem for Noé. He put his foot in his mouth and offended a peer; he didn't shred Vanitas's little brother. He's able to accept his wrongs and feel his discomfort without resorting to physically turning around and avoiding the issue.
I want to know what Noé will do if/when this arc forces him to confront a source of pain he can't handle in a context that's more high stakes than a social faux pas. I want to see what he'll do when something really forces him beyond his ability to believe that everything is fine. How badly would he have to be hurt to lose his ability to filter an event/events through rose colored glasses? How badly would he have to hurt someone else? Or is his instinctive shield good enough that he'll never get out of it on his own? And if so, who else might step in to make Noé own up to reality?
Teacher and the Archivistes are becoming plot-relevant now, and our attention is being drawn to Noé's issues. I think there might be something coming soon that even Noé can't turn away from and cheerfully pretend isn't hurting him. Teacher even ends his appearance at the amusement park with a little speech about having to "wake and face reality," which makes me even more certain that a wake-up call for Noé is imminent.
Either that, or Noé's going to mess up and hurt somebody even worse than he hurt Misha later this arc, and in that case, we might get to see a feat of denial even worse than him literally turning around to avoid looking at the wounds he caused.
#this whole issue also ties into the broader ways in which Noé is divorced from self-understanding#like not recognizing his own feelings of attraction#but that's a whole separate essay. or at least not something I felt was necessary to add to this already very long post#I love Noé so much I am so deeply deeply fascinated to see where his arc goes#I'm hoping he gets better and learns to face reality#but I don't know if that's guaranteed to happen#vnc#vanitas no carte#the case study of vanitas#Noé Archiviste#noé archiviste my beloved#english major hours#vnc spoilers#manga
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I love how you draw galacta knight so elegant. He's graceful, angelic, but overpowering. The duality of the justice he was meant to serve and uninhibited, raw violence i love it sm
ahh yes thank you, you get it!
i think it's specifically important that he is so insanely elegant and pretty and also deadly haha. there's a line in one of my fics where bandee identifies some jungle plants as "far too beautiful to be anything but carnivores", and i think that really sums it up
#i do try to remember also that before galacta knight was this#he was *that*.#fallen hero of wonder. it's the arc he aims to bring about for kirby in awtdy#i don't know if i hc that he was ever especially Good or Nice or Altruistic#but i think a billion years of imprisonment can certainly make one extremely vengeful and very good at playing the game#you live too long and some things just stop feeling like consequences any more#oh also the caps on his wing joints are inspired by @veinsfullofstars! absolutely necessary addition to his armour imo#my art#galacta knight#awtdy au
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One of my biggest pet peeves is the justice league being labelled as " The Avengers of DC" and its like. No? The avengers are law enforcement. The Justice League are volunteers
#its like -- captain america is the staple of US military and Superman is a public servant#the one avenger member who has no bounds or legal obligation is tony and its bc hes rich. you could argue that he actually lost#autonomy when shield recruited him because like. protection isn't necessary tied to 'good.' the avengers protect the planet bc sure#its what they believe in and feel like its their duty and yada yada but ultimately they're self serving and most of their#help is accidental. i say most of bc we've seen they abstain from getting involved unless they have a common interest#with dc its like. you have these people in a position of privilege (having superpowers -- which gives them a spot of advantage to ppl who#dont have it) who do the right thing because they WANT TO. and they can stop at any time because nothing stops them.#they COULD say 'yeah you're on your own. we don't really care anymore. duces!' but they Dont.#because through its many flaws dc realizes that goodness isn't only a choice -- its a responsibility#theres probably better ways to say this but. alas#batman#superman#wonder woman#green arrow#aquaman#the justice league#tjl#justice league#dc#dc comics#text#text post
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species medley ft. gorgug and riz
#fantasy high#gorgug thistlespring#riz gukgak#cw: body horror#tbh mostly for the goblin shark jaws lmao. the rest is like. fine I think#ngl drawing like snouts on a humanoid face is kinda awesome I enjoy it#it is kinda a little bit what I aimed for with how I drew riz at first but I pulled back on it#the elephant remix for gorgug I think actually feels a bit more like orc rather than half-orc#maybe the tusks wouldn't get the same lip closure in half-orcs. tho tbh saying that sharing human and orc heritages would result in#consistent physical traits across the board is already kind of a reach I think. I imagine there would be a Lot of variations#and well. at least in spyre we don't see non-human mixed heritages so far... Ive been in my dunmeshi brain lmao#getting to see ryoko kui's art of mixed humans (dunmeshi in-universe term not irl term) is like coming home. thank u ma'am#anyways uhhh I think. I will have refs for every class swap bad kid (at least the full like per-season sets)#fig I'll post separately and then riz and gorgug I'll just include in like a masterpost kinda thing I think#u already know tf is up with them babey!!! just expressing those designs again for convenience#its been really fun figuring these designs out! and necessary if I wanna draw riz bc its literally impossible to doodle him on his own lmao#hes with his friends a lot actually. theyre literally in each others pockets the whole time#anyways! now I sleep. tomorrow? chillin. waiting to watch new nsbu with friend again. see u!
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I know it's certainly been said before, but I just know in my heart of hearts that ronan (impulsive, romantic, religious, all or nothing) woke up with a ring in his palms the morning after he and adam kissed for the first time. and then he probably didn't dream for a while, after his mom and gansey and cabeswater and noah - but once he started again and also started sharing a bed with adam I just know that he dreamt rings again, and I just know at some point adam caught onto it, and I just know adam (practical, logical, love-skeptic, took a year to consider his feelings before making a move) freaked the fuck out. and I think that's hilarious.
#trc#pynch#don't TDT @ me I'm not interested#but I just think it's such an interesting dynamic - ronan doesn't think anything through and adam overthinks EVERYTHING#and in trc we see that balances out; adam gets to carefully and throughouly consider his own feelings#without having the chance to doubt ronan's affections because ronan is SO consistent with his staring and gestures#and I think adam's obsessive independence and absolutely shit family history will make him soooo commitment phobic and wary of marriage#but it's just impossible to not have to evaluate your feelings and have necessary conversations about it with yourself#when your boyfriend consistently manifests his desire to marry you lmao#pynch dynamic is adam trying to convince himself he's unknowable or lovable#and ronan annoying the fuck out of him with concrete proof it's fundamentally untrue#when your bf is so annoying it makes you a better and more emotionally healthy person 🤗
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#cole i saw ur reply on waiting until the bullshit around the game calms down and it stops being 'trendy' to care and i think that's a good#idea. bc a lot of the notes /were/ just about jkr and the game. there's no guarantee it'd have gotten as much support otherwise#BUT i reblogged that post on how hating nazis and supporting the jewish community are two separate statements and it's not something i had#thought a lot about. to me they should go together but it's clear they don't and so i wanted to make another one of these bitches#just so it's very clear where i stand. i dont just hate nazis - i also support the jewish community. 365 days a year#the game and all that may have made things louder - it feels necessary to be louder right now - but it doesnt make my stance new#if tumblr finds a reason to take this one down im gonna start biting#maison speaks
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deeply refreshing to see someone critical of Swift who also like, genuinely likes her. Like i'm neutral to positive on her, but the online discourse has been absolutely rancid. flipping between "Taylor Swift has never done anything wrong ever and she's a fucking genius" and "Taylor Swift is the worst lyricist of all time and also a bad person" is exhausting, so thank you for like. nuance or something lmao
not to make it serious for a sec but i genuinely think that being able to like things that are bad is really important. like I think that it's an important skill to be able to look at something and see what you personally enjoy about it and then take a step back and acknowledge that objectively it's flawed. and to also be able to acknowledge that liking something isn't necessarily an identity or a moral stance. and i think that fandom space in general could really benefit from more people taking the time to learn how to do that. it's okay to like things that are bad
#people ask me sometimes why ill occasionally talk about something i like and then go 'but it's bad' and the answer is usually because it is#i love teen wolf. i love genshin impact. i love detective conan. and i fucking LOVE taylor swift. that doesnt mean theyre good#it just means i like them. and recognizing their flaws actually helps me better identify what i like about them!#it's like. in my mind bad > good is the x axis and i like it > i dont like it is the y axis yk. they're not mutually exclusive#tldr it's not that serious. we can all relax a little#irt taylor swift i do also think she has done some real harm to her fans in enabling them to deflect all criticism of her as misogyny#and i don't think it's fully the fault of these people who are parroting that response bc so much of her marketing has deliberately#reinforced this idea that to be a swiftie is to be a part of a sisterhood and that any attack on taylor is an attack on all of those women#who are in that in-group. when that's obviously not the case. but she's marketed herself as. for lack of a better term. 'girl music'#to the point where it makes her fans feel as though any criticism of the music or the woman responsible for it is an attack on their#personal experience of womanhood/girlhood/sisterhood/etc. and that's how you get all of thess bad-faith accusations of misogyny#i don't necessarily think this was her deliberate goal with her marketing tho because like. on first glance such a strong sense of communit#among fans sounds like a great thing. the friendship bracelets i got at the eras tour movie are really genuinely special to me.#but it does present a problem when your fans are unable to separate how they feel about the community and experience your music has fostere#from how they feel about you as a person. especially when you are a billionaire who absolutely CANNOT be above criticism in this economy#anyway. tldr i love taylor's music and i don't think swiftie hivemind is as deliberately malicious as it may seem#but it's obviously necessary to be able to take a step back and look objectively at what you're participating in.#anyway stream ttpd or don't idc <3#taylor swift
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Your f/o has eyes only for you, they are yours and only yours. They're not capable of even thinking about seeing anyone else the way they see you. They could never want anyone else, not when they have you. You're perfect, at least to them. You are all they could ever want or need.
If you were their first love, you're also their only love, and that's the way it's going to stay. If you weren't, it matters not because that's all in the past and it eventually led them to you, their true love. Or even if they were a player before they fell for you, they certainly aren't like that anymore. They'd never stray from you, not even for a moment.
Your f/o is completely devoted and loyal to you. They love you 💕 Never doubt that.
*~•~°~+~*~+~°~•~*
> antis please dni <
*~•~°~+~*~+~°~•~*
#proship selfship#proselfshipping#proselfship#{crowsdove original posts}#i made this because my friend was really putting himself down about this kind of thing earlier and it was making me so sad :{#so i hope this reaches anyone else that needs some extra assurance too :}#though i hope that it is not necessary :{ i don't like when people are not feeling secure and confident about their f/o's love
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"Dick was an angry kid", "Dick was full of rage when he was Robin", "Jason was the happy Robin, not Dick"
Look at me in the eyes and explain to me how this sweet, playful, mischievous, kind and thoughtful kid is an angry child.
He was not an angry child. He does not deserve to be labelled as such.
You know what Dick Grayson was, though? He was a child with feelings. A kid that experienced all kind of emotions corresponding to the situation he was in.
I'm not telling you he was never angry and that he was always a happy-go-lucky kid. But is ridiculous how there's so much insistence on this idea that he was full of rage and his only mood was anger.
"But when his parents died-" When his parents died he was, above all, so fucking heartbroken. Yes, he was angry, because it wasn't fair. He shouldn't have lost everything in one night. He shouldn't have had to watch the bodies of the two persons he most loved in the world fall and break. He was just a kid. Of course he's going to feel anger after that. But that's not the only thing he felt. He was sad, too. And in spite of that tragedy, he could smile and feel some happiness as well.
Calling him an angry child is very insensitive, in my opinion. Is that how you call a child grieving his parents and processing loss?
Dick Grayson wasn't full of rage. He was full of life. He was full of the strength to keep going, of the love his parents left him, and of the pain of loss for a while. He was full of good and became someone who'd prevent more tragedies like his from happening. And there was anger, yes, but it was never what drove him to be Robin.
#don't mind me just rambling here once again about the angry robin dick grayson allegations#I get in comics like dark victory everything looks more gloomy and dick might look more angry than usual#but you have to consider how YOU would feel had you just lost your parents#once tony zucco is out of the picture you'll see a much brighter dick grayson#and I think many of you confuse being depressed with being angry#robin dick grayson#dick grayson#robin#nightwing#dc comics#dc#the angry robin title should not exist and I'll say that as many times as necessary#batman
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The mentally stable Dimitri Fire emblem 3 hopes.
It surprises me that there's still ppl claiming so, but then I remember we're talking about 3h interpretations and I have to make peace with it.
But that doesn't stop me from venting a little bit in this little space I have lol. Actually, it dries me and makes me feel bad to bring this up because I will have to talk bad about Dedue, and I don't want to talk Bad about Dedue. He's a genuinely good boy. But "Human" nonetheless, which means Flaws. I like Felix too but he's become some sort of a clown that doesn't make me feel too bad. I like Felix tho, In a different way.
Mostly talking about these two because the take that "Dimitri has better support system" baffles me because, technically, these two are his support system in HopesVerse. The persons who Dimitri relays on and seek solace/advice/support. The rest doesn't really tackle any of his personal struggles (aside from the Mage!Mitri frustrated dream, but that's out of the bad equation in our 'mentally unwell' set of pixels, and Shez only has a glimpse). Contrary, to Houses verse where the whole blue lions cast knew about his shit, didn't know what to do, but didn't leave either.
I tackled this topic with other person on Twitter who was (or still is) on board with this take and the phrase they used was They contained him better, which of course I agree and remarked that was exactly the problem. Contain him is gonna be contra productive. I used a water dam analogy, where the structure of such dam is damaged, and the pressure of water keeps accumulating. Causing a foreseeable damage for the dam itself and the surroundings. You don't need to be a genius to understand it, you need experience or knowledge for mental ill topics tho.
I really don't want to extend so much on here because it's mostly just, rant format more than a proper analysis so I just want to point out these two things in their support conversations.
First, Dedue. Encourage him to keep on the vengeful path. Which we know was the final goal of Azure Moon and if you payed attention to 3 houses message. The whole Vengeful argument was something Bad, to keep it simple. Despite Dimitri actively looking for answers/guidance for something that, in a rational state he can see clearly like vengeance will consume his life (also Shez and Felix called out this behavior). Dedue answer only encourage him to keep on that path, because he would do that 💔. Presenting 2 oposite views is a great formula for confusion and disorientation. Now, Dedue's role is primary SUPPORT, not guidance nor orientation. He will support his shit no matter what, and we are quite aware of that if played Houses.
Second, Felix. Felix is a special case. He is smart but also an idiot lacks A LOT of soft skills to actually be of help. He's the only one who knows in this verse about Dimitri having a mental issue. In their A support to say the least, so they don't close or solve anything. What makes it more worrisome is the fact that Felix conceals the issue as a secret.
"So try to keep that whole "removing their heads" thing in check, yeah? We can just call it our little secret."
this extract here makes me feel so unwell 😭help
The whole burden falls over him and his lack of skills and wisdom on the matter will be too much for him later on. He at least, will be able to recognize that the problem is beyond of his capabilities and will look for help. Felix himself has his own issues and journey where he needs to learn. He's forced to get pass beyond some of his angry teen behavior but hasn't completely get over it.
There is a lot more to tackle, but that requires more work and time. What are the topics some of you think is important to cover around understanding the Hopes verse resolution? Dimitri's route? something? Do you think the route without Byleth is better? With that being said, I would like to delve deeper into character analysis, and the role each played for the Lords too. That also requires to talk about the Byleth and needs a whole analysis on their own, which requires time (which i don't have much lol) To end this vent, I would like to encourage people to do a little research for the terminology they're using like "Support System". Who makes it up and how it operates successfully. The fact that ppl saying "he has better support system" only because he didn't go feral on the run alone is not entirely valid. A reminder that people can feel alone with or without people around them. And containing the issue within doesn't solve any problem. At best, it's presented later. At worse, it gets worse.
#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#my lil blorbo with mental health issues#few3hopes#fire emblem warriors 3 hopes#Today I woke up and felt like venting#BUT Just to make myself clear#this has nothing to do with ships#you can ship whatever you want#You do you#Just in case someone has that feeling#This is an analysis from a mental health point of view#because it is one of the strong points of this character and with which many of us connect/relate#So I like to apply psychological and neurological (even psychiatric if necessary) perspectives#And I like to apply realistic theories to this fictional world because that is the good thing about three-dimensional characters#They feel so human that all these hypotheses can be applied#If some of you don't. That's cool too. You do you#Enjoy the game as you please lil fella#ALSO ALSO I'm taking into account what the intention of the developers was#(that would be tricky considering the inconsistency withing the developers' team >___>)
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Subtext in The Creeping Man
I find that this story of Arthur Conan Doyle's Holmes canon features some of the most complex subtext we've had aside from A Study in Scarlet. But rather than being complex early-on because of our lack of knowledge of the characters, it is rather complicated by the fact that we both know too much and too little of their relationship. This story, with astonishing subtlety, conveys the cooperative relationship between Doyle's two characters — the nuance in their limits and strains, but also the joys that they work to reach, together. It emblemises the beauty of the Canon, where it all ties back to the joy and complexity of human understanding and belonging.
This story opens in "those latter days" (1903, near to Holmes's retirement) where Watson describes their relations as "peculiar". The word certainly feels like a euphemism from the ever-polite Dr. Watson, when it is soon made clear that their relations were far from amenable. Watson has become one of Holmes's "concentrated habits", and apparently is as good as a piece of funiture, as all of Holmes's remarks would have been as "appropriately addressed to his bedstead." It's given through snapped sentences; "I was a whetstone for his mind. I stimulated him. He liked to think aloud in my presence." This "irritation" and discordance between them is extremely concentrated in the early pages of this story, but drags through it, as well. Take, for example, the "laconic" (or perhaps iconic?) message:
"COME AT ONCE IF CONVENIENT — IF INCONVENIENT COME ALL THE SAME. S.H."
Watson gives us the original of Holmes's telegram to demonstrate to his readers just how "long-suffering" he is. A true exhaustion is apparent in how he simply shows the telegram, rather than politely referring to it. Compare this with the unendingly civil telegram sent to Watson in The Boscombe Valley Mystery, and you can see the great shift that has taken place in their alliance.
"HAVE YOU A COUPLE OF DAYS TO SPARE? HAVE JUST BEEN WIRED FOR FROM THE WEST OF ENGLAND IN CONNECTION WITH BOSCOMBE VALLEY TRAGEDY. SHALL BE GLAD IF YOU WILL COME WITH ME. AIR AND SCENERY PERFECT. LEAVE PADDINGTON BY THE 11.15."
While long-term and intimate relationships will remove need for over-courtesey, there are two very different reasons for why Doyle has shown both of these telegrams at a point in time. This accumulation of Holmes's ungrateful behaviour not only imparts Watson's utter despondancy, but also, importantly, Holmes’s — and this is something that Watson's ever-perceptive and intelligent heart does not fail to miss. It is important to note that this story nears Holmes's retirement, where he acknowledges that he has been "sluggish in mind". There is no doubt, then, that the great detective is out of his prime. Hence the temperementalness, taking his Watson for granted, and a heavier reliance on those "narrow and concentrated habits."
Despite the turbulent roads of their life, we see Watson's undying devotion co-exist with it. Past all the irritation, Watson closes, "Such was my humble role in our alliance." It is more than clear that he consciously makes the decision to remain at Holmes's side, to be his ally. Such has always been Watson's role in their alliance. His "humble" service extends to his practice as doctor and soldier. His pride is in his duty to others, and to Holmes as his assistant.
There is something that shines through Holmes's unsocial behaviour when we look closely at the text.
I sank back in my chair in some disappointment. Was it for so trivial a question as this that I had been summoned from my work? Holmes glanced across at me. "The same old Watson!" said he. "You never learn that the gravest issues may depend upon the smallest things."
We know from the Canon (opening of DANC and RESI) that Watson's emotions are like an open book to Holmes. This 'sinking in some disappointment' is not missed by Holmes's 'glance'. "The same old Watson!" he says, and I feel it important to note that he compliments one of Watson's most distinguishing features; his stability and fixture — the "one fixed point in a changing age." Yet, we may miss these details, because Holmes, ever in his own insecurity, must back-hand every praise with a teasing chide. We could say that an attempt was made to cheer Watson up, though not very successful.
Developments continue, as Holmes tryingly says "I had hoped to have a longer chat with you", then parades him with compliments before their client, "Dr. Watson is the very soul of discretion". But mixed indications continue to come as he flips back to patronising language; "You will appreciate it, Watson, when"—. Doyle further cements Holmes's particular unbecoming behaviour on this day as he further also annoys their client, who speaks in a "tone of reproach" when Holmes does not listen, and is "clearly annoyed" at irrelevant interruptions — to which, Holmes only smiles in, what I believe, is pure self-importance.
Here we find a shift — a greater effort on Holmes's part, a second round of appreciation for Watson's stability, even when his opinion is faulty. "Good, Watson! You always keep us flat-footed on the ground". He's then included in his bubble; "We were gradually coming to that conclusion, were we not, Watson?", and even a sordid attempt at bringing Watson with him on the bait of the Chequers in 'Camford' where "the port used to be above mediocrity and the linen was above reproach." (Which he follows up on!)
And, despite these attempts, their connection still does not rekindle. Watson is clearly irritated still with the inconsiderate easiness with which Holmes was able to leave London, leaving only difficulty on Watson's end to join him. It's an indicator from Doyle that nothing's remedied, yet.
Here is an interesting passage for study.
"Have you the effrontery necessary to put it through?" "We can but try." "Excellent, Watson! Compound of the Busy Bee and Excelsior. We can but try — the motto of the firm."
Burstive praise from Holmes at the merest utterance of a phrase — a phrase which has only ever been used one other time in the Canon; the previous story, The Problem of Thor Bridge. This suggests it may be some small motto of Holmes's, though one not often seen in Watson's records — this makes his use of the phrase a very Holmesian approach. This participation, no doubt, is nothing but a delight for Holmes, who is trying to restring their relationship, and continues to overenthusiastically affirm Watson's sturdiness.
Yet it's made clear that superficial praises are not a true apology, as we see signs yet again of Watson's dispassion. As they sit to their meeting with Professor Presbury, Watson writes:
Mr. Holmes smiled amiably.
This sentence may seem unassuming, but be assured it is one of the coldest in the Canon. This usage of "Mr. Holmes" is entirely unique within the Canon. In other times, when Watson has used "Mr. Holmes" or "Mr. Sherlock Holmes", it has been when speaking directly to his readers, since they would be using the honourific. This moment is the only exception, where Watson has intentionally used "Mr." to create distance and convey undesire for intimacy with Holmes (rather than any professional effect). Why has Watson used the line here? Well, Holmes is 'smiling amiably' — in a way that forces a friendly manner, one that attempts to create a good impression with Professor Presbury — which also didn't work out, by the way. Considering all the superficial means up to now employed by Holmes on his companion, Watson no doubt feels cheapened and no more important than Holmes's investigative objects; as if his trust is just as easy to gain as anyone else's, with nothing but an 'amiable smile'.
We are shown time and again that Watson isn't pleased with Holmes's desultory attempts at reconciliation, until finally, a shift happens. One that is not identifiable in the text, and so is reasonable to assume happened unpenned. We find Holmes acknowledging that "Dr. Watson has his patients to attend to", when before this information seemed completely irrelevant to him. Holmes even sent Watson a "short note asking [him] to meet at the train"! The greatest change is when we finally have Watson using "my friend" and "my comrade" for the first time in this story. Now we see Watson taking real excitement in the case, in the "assurance of [his] comrade". Self-teasing also makes its way into their dialogue as Holmes cries "Oh, Watson, Watson, what a fool I have been!" The emphasised address seems to suggest an apology for something more. It's as if he cries 'Look how wrong I have been Watson, how imperfect and daft I can be!' It's adorable, really.
All semblances of reproach towards Holmes disappear as they steal together in darkness, come to the dénoument of their adventure, as Holmes philosophises on science and nature, and described admiringly as "the man of action". Our story ends in a light-hearted resolution, as always.
"There is an early train to town, Watson, but I think we shall just have time for a cup of tea at the Chequers before we catch it."
To conclude, this story presents so much so subtly in its pages; a reflection of the small, nuanced and unseen processes between human beings, but those which we must be attentive to in order to find fuller understanding between each other. Yet, there is still much uncertainty in my inferences; which also shows the uncertainty of language and communication. We simply must be clear of ourselves, as we can only assume Holmes and Watson were, off-page, for them to have found that resolution, rather than fleeting smiles and compliments. Arthur Conan Doyle, with this story, further cements the triumph of bonds and connection, perhaps far more than any other of his stories.
#acd canon#sherlockian scholarship#sherlock holmes#acd holmes#classic literature#literature analysis#victorian husbands#fun fact I bummed out the LFW server with the “Mr. Holmes smiled amiably” line#was worried this was too long but I think all of this is necessary for my point#CREE is so underrated! I think it's brilliant for this reason#I don't actually care for the mystery. it's shit#the real mystery is whether Holmes and Watson actually made up while in Camford or not#ACD how are you so insanely good at subtext. you put so many treasures in the text for me to find and puzzle over. i love you#hashtag the indomitable human spirit#I could have also commented on some way more suggestive lines but they didn't feel relevant to this analysis#it doesn't actually matter if they're fucking or not sorry guys
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please... Make Sure Tails Was Alive, And Replace him To Amy Rose, Not Tails. he Was A Kid, Kid Characters Never Deserved To Die, They Are So young, Especially Tails, He Always Still Young Boy, And I Wanted To Take Sure, His Alive...?
OR ELSE.....!?
Hey your comment under my comic was pretty vile. This one is too. Normally I like to give people's intentions the benefit of the doubt when sending me iffy messages, but the two you've sent have just flat-out sucked.
If you can't handle your favorite fictional character dying in a fan work, don't read it. Simple as.
"Kid characters never deserve to die" [proceeds to recommend I kill a different kid character]
"Or else" wow, a threat! What a great way to convince me to suddenly change a story I've already fully plotted out because you personally don't like a Very Important part of it.
Catch this block.
#doomlazy#asks#I don't normally block people unless I feel it's absolutely necessary but hey wow wow wow I did feel it was necessary THIS time#for anyone wondering about the aforementioned comment. don't worry about it. But if you're truly curious big big Suicide TW#also wishing death on Amy because “Tails is just a kid” bro Amy is *12* like at that point that's just straight up women-hating.#anyway! I'm doing fine! don't worry about me like I'm ALL good over here but this fella's getting a big ol blockerino
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