#but he cant cook

[lionlena]

A kitchen disaster (PedroPascalxreader) oneshot

Reader is Pedro Pascal's girlfriend.

Pure fluff.

*

It was no secret that Pedro couldn't cook. Really. He has even spoken openly about it in interviews.

Many times.

And yet you decided to change it. You just wanted give a try. To say your boyfriend resisted is like saying nothing. Even your very reasonable argument did not convince him.

"If you ever find yourself on a deserted island, you will die without knowing how to cook anything."

 It was a very serious argument, but Pedro was laughing.

But finally, after many weeks, he agreed to cook something. He knew you were going to have a long and hard week at work as the deadline for your reports was approaching. Pedro saw how stressed you were and wanted to do something about it. He has agreed to make dinner, provided you leave him instructions.

You chose pizzas. You really had the easiest recipe in the world. Only a few ingredients. It was enough to combine the ingredients, knead the dough, add pizza toppings and bake.

You were really excited. You kissed him on the mouth before go to work and said happily:

 "Everything is ready. I should be home at 6pm, so start getting everything ready an hour early."

 Pedro didn't seem as enthusiastic as you.

 "Fine," he murmured.

 "I believe in you" you said cheerfully and patted his chest.

 And although your day at work was hard, you came back to Pedro's house with big smile. Your enthusiasm quickly died as soon as you crossed the threshold.

 As soon as you walked in, you could smell burnt food.

 "Pedro, I'm back!"

 Pedro jumped out to you and... He looked terrible. His shirt was wet and stained with flour and possibly tomato sauce, which was also on his jeans. Flour was also in his hair.

You lost your breath.

 "Hey baby," he said happily.

 "What happened? Did you have sparring with pizza?"

 He laughed nervously and shrugged.

 "I told you it was a bad idea."

 You suddenly realized that if he looked like this then... What does the kitchen look like? Even though he tried to stop you, you passed him and...

Pedro lied in interviews saying he was bad at cooking. He was TRAGIC about it. The kitchen looked like a tornado went through it.

 "It's a disaster!"

 "Well, you wanted it. I warned you."

 You sighed heavily, placed your hands on your hips and hung your head. You saw Pedro coming out of the kitchen.

 "And you where?"

 "I'm evacuating."

 "You're not going to leave me alone with this mess, are you?"

 You haven't received an answer. Okay, you deserved it. You insisted. You sighed heavily and looked around the kitchen again. You decided to pour yourself a glass of wine before you start cleaning. At least that's what Pedro couldn't spoil. You grabbed a paper towels  to start cleaning the kitchen counter as your boyfriend came back into the kitchen. He cuddled up to your back and giggled.

 "Did you really think I was going to make you clean this mess?"

 He kissed your ear and you turned in his arms.

 "That would be fair. My idea, my mess."

 He shook his head.

 "I just went to order food. It'll be in fifteen minutes. I know you're tired. Go to the living room. Sit down on the couch and rest."

 You wiped flour from his cheek and kissed him.

 "God, I really love you."

 He hugged you even tighter.

 "I love you too, sweetie, but..." He narrowed his eyes and added, "Forget that I'll cook again."

 You laughed and nodded your head.

 "Ok. From now on, only I cook."

*

[bishy437]

he won

bonus:

[fluffyartbl0g]

Yes, they are all housemates or roommates (except for Vivi who's discord calling in another country RIP)

Part 2

[zaisamoo]

more soukoku. ok i swear my next post will be an actual and colored drawing that isnt soukoku

[hinamie]

binding vow

[sonknuxadow]

personally i think it would rule if the murder of sonic was the start of an entire series of visual novels that place the cast in fun but also very specific situations that theyd never be able to make a game about otherwise . and i vote that the next one be cooking competition show because that would be hilarious to me

[hollis-art]

wish these guys had more moments together,,, maybe even a little kiss,,, it'd be so cool

[deunmiu-dessie]

sorry, was thinking about doing domestic things with fiancé!ghost, like making cookies and him messing up something in the process 💀--- cause even though ghost is good at most things, this man does not have a cooking bone in his body, maybe he can make a few simple meals but for the most part ( something you taught him btw ), he'll leave the meals and meal prep to you ( besides, he enjoys ur cooking ). so when you pull him to the kitchen and ask him to make cookies with you, he's reluctant but of course he agrees, ( he'd burn the world if you asked ) though, making cookies is a lot harder than he expected😭

"si, the butter--- it's burning."

your fiancé, always standing so tall and imposing, is slightly hunched over the stove wearing your pink apron that you had 'forced' ( wouldn't call it that since he literally bent down so you could put it on him but... ) over his head. despite him being so focused on the task at hand, he'd ended up burning the butter rather than browning it.

"ah fuckin' hell."

he stirs it for one moment more before looking down at you, "y'sure we can't use it?" he mellows at your beaming smile, deflating as you shake your head.

"simon, baby, it's basically tar."

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ (rehehehehe how simon looks most days when youre teaching him to bake.)

connected with this post!

[lotus-pear]

i think you guys are onto smth..

i unironically got invested in this HELP

[kayime]

so apparently 'd He brothers' have preference for a partner

[basslinegrave]

i want them to share a ciggie so bad (and monarch can then yell at both of them)

[prettyboykatsuki]

OLIVER WITH #91 PLEASEEE

✮ 91 + oliver aiku | “Don’t go on that date.” “Why?” “You know why.” “Say it.”

✮ tags ; fem!reader (reader is wearing makeup, is referred to as princess. no other gendered language), arguing, kiss n makeup.

Your relationship with Oliver is not the kind you get over as much as you just move on from.

Getting over it implies that a time will come where you can think on your time spent together and not feel bitter. Where Oliver is concerned, you're certain you'll never feel completely at ease about whatever the two of you had, if there was anything to be had there in the first place.

There's nothing tangible to your relationship. No anniversaries or Instagram posts that require archiving. A situationship is a kind way to phrase what was mostly just a secret. In the confines of cheap shady motels, unsaved numbers, and empty parking lot.

Getting over it implies that someday you'll be able to sit in a cramped bath tub with someone else without thinking of his scruff on your shoulder and his face in your neck. Or that you can have car sex with another person and think of something other than the way you felt being held afterwards.

You're not going to get over Oliver, but you want to move on from it eventually. It's a path leading to nowhere, and there's nothing for you following it faithfully to it in the end. There's no point trying to chase after Oliver and being kept in the dark about what's so obvious to you both.

You're going on a date as request from your close friends. He's a nice guy. Average height with a good career from your told, though you don't know what he looks like.

You're waiting for your Uber when Oliver shows up at your door step, the same as always. Bright-eyed, non-chalant as he saunters towards you and leans on the railing for the steps in front of your apartment.

"You look nice," He says, voice familiarly unaffected. You don't ask him any questions, refusing to let him hold your curiosity against you.

"I have a date. The Uber will be here in ten."

You're expecting the usual. You've played this card before, much earlier - trying to push Oliver into jealousy and force his hands. It didn't work then, smug bastard he is rolled with the punches and let you go with the assurance you'd be crawling back to him.

It's hard not to be surprised when he doesn't look unbothered. His jaw clenches and it's slight but it's there. "A date? With who?"

You tear your eyes away from his face, trying not to get swayed any further. "Dunno. Someone my friends set me up. Works in tech or something."

"That all you know about him?"

You furrow your brows. "It's a blind date."

"If you're looking for a guy with good money, I'm already around you know."

"Fuck off, Aiku." You say the words through a sigh. "I already told you we're not doing this. Quit wasting my time and go home."

He's quiet for a long time and you can't tell what he's thinking. Truthfully seeing him so lost in thought scares you. "I'm not trying to waste time. I'm telling you you don't need to see him."

You scoff reflexively. "The fuck is that supposed to mean? You think you're my boyfriend or some shit? Go home and fuck off. If you want to go get your dick wet call one of the thousand other people you know,"

"You know it's not fair to pretend that's all I was doing,"

You're going to blow a fuse.

"I don't need to pretend. As far as I'm concerned that's all it ever was. We've talked about this already. You don't need to hand hold you through my fucking problems with you. Don't talk to me about what's fair and what's not."

"Don't go on that date." He reiterates. You seethe, stepping close to him until your nose to nose.

"Why, huh? Tell me what the fuck reason I have not to go."

He looks down at you, somber and unreadable and angry in a different way than you. "You know why. You already know, you've always known. So don't go and just stay here already. Shit, you think I come chase down anyone else like this? You think the only reason I'm this desperate is so I can fuck you? Be serious. If that was the only thing I'd go back home. But I'm here. I'm here,"

You think about killing him. You think about kissing him so violently your teeth clash. You take a sobering breath, shaky as you look up at him. You want to cry and you resent yourself for being that vulnerable over him of all people. "Say it. I don't care about you being here. Be honest or go home, Oliver."

He sighs, long and hard. Eyes closed, he looks the way he did when you met him at nineteen. His hand on your face is large, warm and familiar - so much so you flinch away from it.

He forces your face towards him. "Don't run away from me after cornering me, princess. Look at me," He hums soft and your feel your heart pound. You tell yourself not to get swept away. He presses his thumb to your lip, swiping the makeup till it smudges across your mouth. "....I love you, alright? I'm here because I love you and I've only loved you for the last... however many years we been at this. So don't go on the stupid date with whatever loser your friends set you up with and stay."

He presses his forehead to yours and you feel the world collapse. Fuck him. You're going to kill him for doing as he pleases and then maybe yourself for always going along with his stupid whims. "Don't go looking this pretty for other people. Hurts my feelings."

"You're the worst man I've ever met in my entire life," You say.

"I know. And I love you. I wanna keep being good to you," He says. He sounds so mature it irritates you. "I want you to sleep in my place. I like seeing your shampoo in my shower."

"You're such a piece of shit, do you know that? You think you can just waltz into my life and—I'm not gonna forgive you that easily, alright?"

"I'll spend the rest of my life saying sorry," He says, so easily. He looks so sincere it's hard to keep your resolve. "I don't want to make you feel insecure by not putting words to this. And you don't have to forgive me, just don't go. Don't see other guys for shit I can give you."

"You're annoying and you piss me off and your stupid ass commitment issues get in the way of everything so start going to therapy," You let him hold you as you go on and on. Oliver takes it in strides. "And tell people we're together instead of saying you're seeing someone. And let me be there for you instead of putting up a wall whenever you feel too vulnerable. The minute you act like a prick again, I'll leave you forreal."

"Alright. I love you. I'm sorry,"

His expression is so tender. You've seen it before. It's so obvious that he loves you it nauseates you. The reason Oliver is so hard to get over is because he's always good to you. All the intimate ways he stands by you and sticks to you, supports you even when he can barely bring himself to get serious enough. He's so stupid.

"Whatever. I love you too, I guess, but you know that,"

"And you'll stay with me, yeah?"

You frown at him, face to his chest. "Yeah. Comp me for my Uber, you prick."

"Uh-huh," He looks down at you. "Kiss?"

You reach up and press your mouth to his chastely. He returns it kissing you deeper.

"Since you're already dressed so pretty, let's go on our first date."

He holds your hand, smiling as you hold them back. Damn him. You look down with a pout.

"Yeah. I wanna go,"

[shootingstarrfish]

i love the contrast between how the game wants you to view Solomon (sussy baka man who is very terrible i promise i swear hes horrible you shouldnt trust him okay trust me hes the worst)

and then how Solomon acts in Nightbringer (will live in the past where everyone hates him/isnt as close to him just to protect you and just wants to be a househusband and will go to war against powerful demons for you despite his powers being weakened and literally just wants you to be safe)

[mrgladstonegander]

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Transcript:

Machine, you are telling me a shrimp fried this rice?

Audio Source

[neptunesailing]

[bangs on your window with a little empty coin purse. a singular fly flies out] neppathan i require the fantasy high sustenance blease

pov you live in a mansion with the largest kitchen in town and you only know where the milk and glasses are