#but everybody wants to debate me in a tone like i must not have actually watched the same episode they did

[widogastsweboffire]

.

[callsign-rogueone]

the beginning of the end

Liam Mairi x reader (Spark!!)

words: 1.0k

🏷️: happy threshing everybody! I realized that it was today and decided to post this scene that I’ve been struggling to find a place for. the title kinda sets the tone for this one and is a major hint… this is not going to be fun for anyone involved. no book spoilers (pre-fourth wing). murder, blood, one mention of puke but it doesn’t actually happen, typical threshing activities, some girlfriends make an appearance, and so does bestie Bodhi, Garrick and his wisecracking, Liam smells like sawdust, Spark needs a hug. crappy formatting because I’m posting from my phone. will fix later xoxo

“I’ve been waiting for someone like you.”

You freeze, your eyes settling on the dark blue mass reflected in the boy’s sword. He looks shocked even in death, and you realize that he’d likely been distracted by the sight of the dragon behind you while you delivered the killing blow. The bastard deserved it, anyway.

But what do you do now? You wrack your brain for any sort of advice from Kaori’s class, but it all blurs together. Don’t show fear, you can’t show blues fear— or was that greens? No, don’t look reds in the eye… fuck. You’re not supposed to even breathe in a blue’s direction.

But if it’s talking to you, that must be a good sign.

Why it chose you remains unclear.

“You have anger in your blood, girl. I like that.”

What. The. Fuck.

You sheath your sword, slowly turning to face her and immediately regretting it. She’s as terrifying as Sgaeyl, but she’s so much closer to you than you’ve ever been to her or any other dragon, either.

“Hold still.”

You don’t have time to respond, your jaw dropping in a scream as she brings a leg up, slashing at your chest. Your entire body seems to burn, skin set ablaze with pain, and you sink to your knees, gasping for breath. Warm, sticky blood pours down the front of your shirt, the metallic smell overwhelming your senses. 

You’d probably throw up if you had eaten anything in the last twelve hours.

“Get up,” she orders. “Don’t make me regret this decision.”

You gasp and choke as you rise onto one foot, then the other, keeping your fists clenched at your sides — if you touch your neck, or seem affected by it at all, she’ll probably think you’re weak.

She sticks her leg out — the same one that has your blood still dripping from its claws — silently ordering you to mount. You try to keep your weight off of your right arm, but it’s impossible — it requires all of your limbs at work to climb up.

Thankfully she doesn’t try too many twist and turns as she gets you back to the flight field. It’s already hard enough to stay seated with your vision blurring at the edges and your heartbeat feeling too shallow, too uneven. The cold air pushing against the wound is agony, your shredded flight jacket doing hardly anything to cover it.

You slide down less than gracefully, focusing on not vomiting into the gravel of the flight field.

None of the professors comment on the blood soaking your shirt and crusting over your skin as you approach the dais, looking entirely unfazed.

“Tuilfeargach,” you state to the scribe, gritting your teeth, and Kaori’s eyes widen. “Is something the matter, Professor?” You ask with a calmness that makes his skin crawl.

“No. Not at all,” he rasps, clearing his throat.

Bodhi’s jaw drops as he sees you. “Holy shit,” he breathes, “are you-“

“Just a scratch,” you say firmly enough for him to drop it — something in your eyes tells him that it isn’t up for debate.

Dinner that night is remarkably tense. All of your friends have been chosen, and made it out of the forest alive, but nobody seems too happy about it.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to mend it?” your friend asks softly. She’s been eyeing the bloodied bandage all evening, hardly touching her food.

If she did mend it away, you’d probably just earn yourself a set of new, deeper cuts tomorrow. And you’d rather not spend any more time at the healers. They’d sewed it up, but before that they had to spend a good fifteen minutes tweezing out the tiny pieces of cotton from your shirt that had become embedded in the three long wounds. That was worse than the stitches.

“Smart girl,” she appraises, and you flinch at the voice speaking directly into your mind. You still aren’t used to it. You don’t think you’ll ever be.

“Sgaeyl marked him, too,” you deflect, nodding toward the cut bisecting Xaden’s eyebrow. 

“Yeah, but she didn’t maul him,” Garrick argues. “You look like you were attacked by a bear.”

“I find that comparison insulting.”

“Well, it looks badass, at least,” Bodhi offers with a sympathetic smile, changing the subject. “What do you guys think your signet is gonna be?”

Thankfully someone else answers, and the conversation lightens — one of your friends wants to be an ice wielder, another a magnetist, which leads to a debate about whether or not that‘s a thing.

If anybody notices you rise from the table with your half-eaten plate and disappear, they’re smart enough not to say anything.

You drag yourself through the shower and then to your new room, which is a considerable upgrade from the endless row of bunk beds that you’d been in prior. Your reward for surviving and bonding a dragon, you suppose. You’d rather be there than here, if it meant you wouldn’t be in so much pain, and stuck with such a bitch of a dragon. But to do it all over again, like the few cadets who weren’t chosen will have to… you don’t know what’s worse. At least you’re still alive. That’s more than you can say for the boy you’d crossed paths with. Have they found his body yet?

You kneel down, dumping everything out of your bag to find what lies at the bottom. You’re flooded with relief that the soft cream-colored sweater is still there, undamaged. You pull it over your head, biting your lip to hold back a sob as you put your arms through, stretching your stitches.

The sleeves are too long, the cuffs extending past your fingertips. You lift one up to your face, taking a few shaking sniffs. It’s faint, but it’s still there: sawdust.

That’s the last straw — you curl up in the corner of your new, larger bed, and cry for the first time in three months; raw, body-shaking sobs that send waves of pain through your chest.

When you’ve run out of tears, you work your way under the covers, pulling your knees up toward your chest and drifting into a warm, black sleep.

[emberdew]

Be More Ghost Chapter 16: The Cellphone Hour (Kwan Set a Fire)

Summary:

A Be More Chill AU where Danny gets a Super Quantum Intel Unit Processor (or Squip) to help him become cool and win over Valerie, but things don't really go as planned.

Masterpost | AO3 Link | Word Count: 1,868

Hey everybody, have you heard?  Kwan set a fire  now go spread the word!

In a bright pink and very stylish bedroom, Paulina lay on her bed listening to her favorite crunk playlist on her Sayonara Pussycat CD player as she checked her texts on a matching pink flip phone. 

Then she groaned when her phone rang for the third time that morning. Why couldn’t Ashley just get the message that Paulina was too busy to talk? She let it ring and continued scrolling through her texts until her phone dinged with new messages from Ashley.

Ashley: omg lina answer me!!

Ashley: wait until i tell you what i heard!!!

Paulina rolled her eyes. Ashley was useful as a source of most of Casper High’s hottest gossip but the girl could be so annoying! Like, why couldn’t she just get to the point already?

Ashley: it’s too messed up to type this stuff is ripe

Ashley: call back, you really got to hear this!!!

And despite messaging to ask Paulina to call back a second ago, Paulina’s phone started ringing again. Paulina took a moment to debate between answering or throwing her phone against the nearest wall. 

With a sigh, she answered.

“Hey,” Paulina greeted flatly. 

“Oh my god okay so at the end of last night’s party did you see Kwan?” Ashley asked.

“Oh, I saw Kwan,” Paulina lied as she rolled her eyes. She had spent most of the end of the party making out with Dash and then she had to leave before Papa noticed she had snuck out past curfew. 

“So he was acting super weird right? Flailing around like a crazy person-”

“He really shouldn’t drink so much.” Paulina examined her nails. They were painted pink, obviously, and the manicure was still perfect. “His alcohol tolerance is really bad for such a big guy.”

“Right, but he wasn’t drunk.”

“En serio?” 

“He wasn’t drunk! I heard from Wes Weston that Kwan had barely touched a drop which means that you can’t blame the things he did on alcohol. And what he did was really terrible Lina, I almost can’t bear to relive it,” Ashley paused for a moment before continuing, “but do you want me to tell you?”

“Spit it out,” Paulina demanded. Ashley was taking way too long to get to the good part of the story, as usual. This is why she was only barely tolerated by the A-Listers.

“I’ll tell you ‘cause you are my closest friend.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yeah I know,” Ashley said without missing a beat. “But here’s what happened at the end of the party- Kwan set a fire and he burned down the house! I thought I was dreaming, or maybe it was a ghost attack or something since everyone was screaming, but no! Kwan set a fire!”

Now that was some interesting gossip! Paulina could tell Ashley was going to keep going on for ages so she hung up. Then she called Star. And then her call got sent to voicemail.

Paulina sighed. So she may have betrayed her bestie a bit at the party last night. But this was important! She opened her messages and started texting Star.

Paulina: OMG Star answer me!

Paulina: Wait until I tell you what I saw!!

Paulina called again, but Star must have been angrier than Paulina thought about the whole Fenton situation because Star ignored this call too.

She ran a hand through her long dark hair. She didn’t think that Star actually liked that Fenton freak! Ugh, now she had to apologize. 

Paulina: And also…

Paulina: :(

Paulina: I’m sorry that Danny made out with me at the party but it was totally his fault and lets not let boys ever come between us ever again, k? XD

Paulina waited several seconds to give Star a chance to read her message before calling again and this time she finally picked up. Paulina kicked her feet in excitement. Sharing gossip with her bestie was the best!

“Hey,” Star said, her tone somewhat guarded. 

“We cool?” Paulina asked.

“We are.”

“Okay so, at the end of last night’s party, did you see Kwan?”

“No, I was crying,” Star replied blandly.

“He was behaving weird and I was kind of concerned about that…” Paulina plowed on.

“He’s gotta learn to not smoke so much. You’d think for such a big guy he’d handle being high better,” Star said.

“Right, but he wasn’t high.”

“Seriously?”

“He wasn’t high! So you can’t blame the things he did on weed. It was super awful though so I’m going to talk about it a lot,” Paulina grinned. “Kwan set a fire and he burned down the house!”

___

Star probably should have been angrier that Paulina made out with Danny at Dash’s Halloween party but it was just so hard to stay mad at her bestie. Especially when there was some interesting gossip to talk about. 

And who would have thought that a guy like Kwan would be an arsonist? Well, nearly everyone at Casper High would probably know before the school day even started since Ashley had been as diligent as ever at spreading the word. And of course, Star and Paulina were all over the gossip too. 

After chatting with Paulina for a while, Star went through her long list of text messages and confirmed the news with all the classmates who were reaching out to her about it until her fingers got sore and she had to put her chunky red cellphone down. She was a master at texting with just a keypad, but she would give anything to have one of the new iPhones like Manson. Who thought pressing the 7 key four times to get an “S” was a good idea?

Whatever, she’d beg her parents to get her a new phone for her birthday or maybe she’d get “lucky” in a Technus attack and it would get destroyed so she would have an excuse to get a replacement. Now it was time to get out of bed and kick her younger brother off the family computer so she could start spreading the word on social media. 

She logged in to MySpace first and bumped Kwan to the #2 spot on her top 8 (Paulina would always be #1) and then wrote a short blog post.

Star: Rich is flecked!

Star pulled out her cellphone to check her texts again. It was getting late, so she would have to change out of her floral red pajamas and start getting ready for school soon.  

When she looked back up at her MySpace page, she saw Paulina had commented on her post.

Paulina: Flecked?

Star cringed and sank back in her seat as she typed a reply.

Star: Oh I meant fucked. Sorry that was just my AutoCorrect.

Mr. Lancer frequently told them to always be aware of AutoCorrect. He was such a stickler for grammar and spelling, but that was expected of an English teacher. And vice principal. And math teacher sometimes? Mr. Lancer really was overworked. At least Star didn’t have to worry about him correcting her on MySpace, since he was way too busy for social media.

As Star posted updates on her Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr, she saw there was a new trend to change your avatar to Kwan’s face, so she quickly switched her avatar on every site too. Something something solidarity. It’s the thought that counts, right?

And sure, it was a tragedy, with Dash’s house burning down and both Dash and Kwan ending up in the hospital, but it sure was fun to talk about! 

Star kept reading all the rumors about what happened.

Ashley: i cant believe that kwan set a fire and leveled the town! i always thought if anyone was going to level the town, it would be a ghost or something…

Gregor: Do you think Kwan is going to have to run away now that he burned down a house? Maybe to Europe? That’s what I would do if I decided to do arson. I’d go back to Hungary. 

Paulina: I think Kwan burned down the house because he finally realized that he’s gay. Good for him, honestly. Be gay, do crime! LOL

Spike: kwan is totally dead now right? do you think he’ll become a ghost and haunt the school? i’d probably haunt the school for a while if i died.

Star shivered a little in her seat. She logged out of the computer and put her phone away. Sure, she was used to ghosts by now since they attacked like every week, but didn’t want to think about Kwan or any of her friends as a ghost. She still had nightmares about the time that everyone at school got creepy ghost powers. But Kwan was fine; he wouldn’t die. He was just at the hospital. 

Her good mood was kind of ruined though. Maybe it was time to finally get off the gossip train and eat breakfast or something. Getting up from the chair, Star decided to message Paulina again and see if her bestie wanted to hang before school. Then they could spread the rumors about Kwan in person. Yeah, that would be better.

___

“So he just ditched you at the party?”

Tucker sighed as he readjusted his PDA to sit more comfortably by his ear. He was holding it with his shoulder while he cleaned his room. 

“Yeah Sam, he apparently made out with Paulina and then hid from Dash in the bathroom where I was. I tried to warn him about the stuff I learned about the Squips but he ignored it and left me alone.”

“I can’t believe him! If I was in town right now, I’d kick his butt for you. He’s such an idiot for getting a Squip in the first place.” 

“Well, there’s not much we can do about it now.” Tucker was glad Sam was on his side, but there was nothing that could fill the Danny-shaped hole in his heart right now.

“You looked up how to get rid of those Squips, right?”

Tucker put down the stack of papers on his desk that he had been sorting through and adjusted his glasses.

“I haven’t been able to find anything yet, but I’m still looking into it.”

“Well, good luck.”

“Thanks,” Tucker pursed his lips, “Sam, I know you’re aro but-“

“Tuck, we’ve already been over this. Danny is probably the most clueless person on Earth, in the Ghost Zone, and possibly the universe. He’s never gonna take a hint so if you want something with him you have to tell him.”

Tucker resisted the urge to hurl his PDA across the room. He’d never hurt Charlise like that. Instead, he took a deep breath before replying.

“I know.”

“You’re still not going to do anything, are you?”

“…” Tucker wilted as he imagined Sam’s disapproving glare. She really didn’t have to come after him like that, did she? It was just cruel at this point. 

“Useless alloromantics…” Sam grumbled. “I better go, my parents are going to drag me to another outing soon. Bye.”

“Bye, Sam.” Tucker hung up the call and rested his head on the desk.

[booksandabeer]

I really like your blog and your fanfiction recs. You've read a lot of Stucky it seems. I'm still pretty new to the ship and it can get overwhelming so for now I'm sticking to the most popular ones. Do you think that I can skip any of the *legendary* fics? Are there any you think are overhyped and not really worth it? A lot of them are very long too. thanks. 🌟✨

Hello anon, thanks for your ask and your kind words. Welcome to the Stucky Experience™.

Now… *big sigh* This ask has been sitting in my inbox for a couple of days now and I have been debating with myself whether to answer it at all. Tbh, it feels a bit like I’m being tested on my willingness to be Messy on Main. But assuming that you asked this question in good faith, I will try to give the best answer I can here. However, if you expect me to name actual titles, I’m afraid you’ll be sorely disappointed.

First of all, 'overhyped' or 'not worth it' are a kinda strong words to be throwing around. Are there so-called “legendary” fics that are (seemingly) universally adored in the fandom that I personally think are only okay to quite good? Sure. Sometimes there are even very good ones, but I still fail to see what all the extreme fuss is about, or why this or that one in particular gets hyped up so excessively. But. Even if something isn’t the be-all and end-all of fics for me personally, I can almost always understand why other people like or even love them. Not everything needs to be for everyone. And if you’re a Stucky shipper, you’re not exactly hard-up for options. You don’t have to read stuff you already know you will most likely not enjoy even if the large majority of the fandom keeps yelling about its brilliance (that being said, try to branch out every once in a while, you might be pleasantly surprised!). I think by now I’ve read almost all the “Big Ones” that I wanted to, but there are a few super-popular fics left I will probably never read because they are simply not for me (bc of tropes, tone, certain ship dynamics, kinks, etc.). And again, that is fine.

I think I can only think of two stories where I truly, genuinely do not understand at all what people see in them. One I think is considered a fandom classic and my general response to it can be summed up as a dismayed “what the fuck, really?” and the nicest thing about the characterizations I can say is that, yes, there are two characters in it named Steve and Bucky. Make of that what you will.

The second one is more complicated. I’m not exactly sure if it qualifies as “legendary” but it is certainly very popular in apparently all corners of the fandom, which is a feat in itself, but even more so for a fic written after 2019, and I. Just. Don’t. Get. It. The thing is, it is very well-written, has an intricate and engaging plot, and it addresses some things that are often glossed over in other fics in a very smart and thoughtful way. And these are the very reasons why I kept reading until the (for me) bitter end. Usually, if something doesn't work for me at all, I just stop reading and move on. But in this case I kept thinking “surely this can’t be it; there must be a twist coming real soon, right?” But no, the central romance really is based on a premise and subsequently a relationship dynamic that to me is absolutely appalling, where Character A gets fucked over repeatedly, and is relegated to the role of glorified servant/caretaker for large parts of the story, while Character B gets to have it all twice over—and then some! And not once does this ever get addressed as even slightly problematic or imbalanced, but instead is celebrated as A Great Triumph of Enduring Love. ...and everybody went BONKERS for it. Meanwhile, I was standing on the sidelines, absolutely baffled, wondering if maybe I just didn’t get the same drugs as everybody else. But you know what? It's fine. Maybe I'm wrong and everybody else is right (sure seems like it!), and I'm certainly not the arbiter of Good Taste in Fanfic. So yeah, it all comes back to 'like what you like and let other people like what they like.' It will make your experience in fandom so much better, I promise.

Anyway, I hope you got something out of this anon, and enjoyed this edition of “J very vaguely rambles on about fanfiction.”

[is-the-fire-real]

So my FIL is Spanish, an ethnic group most people on Tumblr would call white because they were also colonizers. I used to go get rides with him to and from work. He drove like a beast because his PTSD from growing up under Francoism never allowed him to relax.

Anyhow, one time this meant he pulled a classic Piece Of Shit Maneuver on the road, and he did it in view of a cop. The cop pulls him over, calls my FIL "sir", and get this, apologizes for the inconvenience.

Then my FIL starts to explain why he drove like that, and the cop's face totally changed. There was a sense of camaraderie there, but it vanished. His face became a stone wall. He stopped referring to my FIL as "sir". He became extremely blunt. And he wrote my FIL a ticket.

But my FIL was white! He has blue eyes! His hair is black, but the quality is smooth! He'd pass the skin tone test on Tumblr! He MUST have white privilege!

Ah, but he spoke in a thick Spanish accent.

In that moment, the cop, who was white-passing himself, did not give one iota of a damn about the accent's origin. He did not care about my FIL's pigmentation. He did not care about Spain's history as a colonizer nation. He did not seem to understand that Spaniards are supposed to be white and therefore deserving of the same treatment he himself wanted from the world.

He heard that accent and immediately demoted my FIL to being not white.

That's because my FIL is not white. He is what I refer to as a "white on a leash". Someone whose perceived benefits under white supremacy are conditional on never, ever, ever slipping the leash (such as having an Unapproved Accent, wearing the Wrong Clothes, or having the Bad Opinions).

We need to start acknowledging that systems of oppression are supposed to concentrate power in the fewest hands possible, so this idea of "whiteness" including everybody who's a particular shade of pale completely ignores how white supremacy actually defines the terms.

Jews are not, and have never been, white. Whiteness has just as much to do with religion and ethnicity as skin color. In Europe, whether you're perceived as white has as much to do with which version of Christianity you practice and how long your ethnic group practiced it as it does your skin tone. Same in America; this is why virtually all whites on a leash are Catholic--Catholics weren't white. The fact that "correct version of Christianity" was part of the perception of whiteness was to explicitly exclude all Jews, including those who forcibly converted to Christianity, as never being white.

I'm sorry that this discussion is more nuanced than holding up a Nazi-era skin tone card to determine who we ought to listen to in a particular debate but god this gets to me sometimes.

people who say pale skinned jews are "just white" make me laugh so hard. like do you wanna tell that to the people in the sundown towns? the KKK? random ass people on the street who are mad at jews existing?? you know i dont think it's white privilege if it can be taken away the second you leave your home, and will be absolutely be taken away in some towns, establishments, etc.

also this just ignores the shit that darker skinned and (very) visibly POC jews go through. but ofc antisemites pretend they dont exist because then that ruins their useless "argument"

[itgirlification]

supermodel | jjk

the last three months have been hell for you, but Jungkook seemed to be living his best life.

pairing: ex-bf!jk x thick!reader

warnings: explicit mentions of body image and insecurities, infidelity, anal sex, oral (male receive), foul language (kinda), etc.

now playing: supermodel by sza

part two part three

Exactly three months ago, your and Jungkook’s 2 years relationship officially ended. Unofficially, it ended about 5 months ago. And for about one month now, Jungkook’s been seeing someone else.

Your heart and mind told you not to do it but you couldn’t help calculating. Three months ago, you were still dating, two months later, he started dating someone else. That must mean he’s known her for a while. Did he cheat on you with her? Well, it’s not like it matters now anyway, does it?

Her name was Yuki, an undeniable Japanese beauty. You were still in college, studying music and she was a famous model who appeared in internationally known magazines. You assumed she met Jungkook during a photoshoot since he was a professional photographer who often worked for companies like Vogue and Playboy. You couldn’t help but compare yourself to her.

It wasn’t the fact that he moved on so quickly that hurt you the most. It was the fact that he knew all about your low self-esteem and how you lack confidence. Especially about your body. And he still went and dated a model, of all professions in the world. He was definitely over you.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he did it on purpose. But thankfully, you knew better, he looked too happy for that to be even considered. He forgot about you.

You’re making yourself sadder by remembering all the times he assured you you were beautiful and your body was nothing to be ashamed of. The times he let his fingertips run over the lines of your stretch marks, whispering in your ear how much he loved them and how they reminded him of Tiger stripes. The times he caressed your jiggly thighs and told you how sexy he thought they were.

Then your mind would drift back to the phone in your hand, the Instagram page of Yuki Sakurai opened, careful not to accidentally like anything and expose yourself. Not that she’d notice anyway, she had 3.7 million followers, while you had a private one with 500 followers and no posts, and she gets around 300 to 700 thousand likes on each post, depending on whether she posts random photos or pretty pictures of herself. Or newly, your ex-boyfriend, Jungkook. Oh, how crazy everybody goes whenever she posts him. People love them together. You couldn’t blame them. Two attractive people? Of course, they’re gonna look great together.

Fucking great.

That the end of your relationship with Jungkook would look like this was semi-predictable from the beginning. He did admit to you that he never thought he’d date someone that looked like you when you first dated. And your heart broke a little. But he also made up for it in those two years, it was a beautiful relationship nonetheless.

While you weren’t exactly his ‘ideal’ type, he was definitely yours. You always heard from other women ‘when in a relationship, the man always has to love the woman more than she loves him. Otherwise, it won’t work.’ You never really got the saying until your breakup with Jungkook happened. It was the fact that you clearly loved Jungkook more than he loved you that lead to this.

“Oh my goodness!”, your roommate, Jane, dramatically exclaimed. “Will you stop feeling bad for yourself and do something? That’s not what hot girls do, sis.”

Jane was a lovely girl with a not so lovely temper. She always means well and you got along perfectly as soon as you met. Which was around 3 and a half years ago.

She looked over your shoulder to see what you were looking at. You obviously didn’t want her to see you snooping around your ex-boyfriend’s current girlfriend’s Instagram but it was too late.

“Seriously, yn?”, she took your phone in her hand and threw it on the bed. “Let’s go somewhere, you can’t do this to yourself anymore. I’m not letting you.”

Jane was clearly worried about you at this point. The only thing you did these last few weeks was eating, shower, cry, sleep and miss a whole bunch of classes. This wasn’t good at all.

“Where?”, your question was short.

“To the mall? Or the nail studio? Anything that’ll get you out of this fucking dormitory.”, Jane sighed, pulling the blanket off of you, making you whine a little. “C’mon, go put on some cute outfit and we’ll go.”

You felt bad since she was trying hard to make you feel better. But it didn’t really work.

You nodded, standing up from the bed, nonetheless. You picked out a cute two-piece dress, that brought back blurred memories of the time you went on a date with Jungkook, wearing the same two-piece. Bet Yuki would look cuter in this...

‘Shut your petty ass up, yn. It’s embarrassing, the way you’re stuck on a taken guy who wants nothing to do with you’

You wish you could change the way you think, even if it’s just for an hour or two. You wish you would stop imagining Jungkook judging you when he saw you naked or when you told him that you wished you could cut off some of your fat with a pair of scissors.

You were beyond ashamed of yourself. Why wasn’t it easy for you to just stay by yourself? why were you so desperately in need of Jungkook by your side to the point where you’d lock yourself in your room for a month just because he isn’t there?

You needed Jungkook. You became so attached to him in those two years, because you always saw him as a permanent, a forever. Not just a temporary, not just a distant memory. You already saw him as the father of your children, as the man you’re gonna marry.

You were so blinded by the fact that you had him, that you forgot you could lose him anytime.

“I’m done, let’s go.”, unenthusiastically, you announced to Jane, who was already waiting for you.

“Let’s get the fuck outta here!”, In contrast to your spirit, hers seemed to be all roses and daisies. “Lord knows you need it...”

__________

“Look at this cute ass skirt, girl”, Jane pointed at a chic, wine mini skirt she was holding. “You know, when I saw it back there I wanted to have it, but it’d look so much better on you”

You took a few seconds to admire Jane’s beauty. She was about 3 cm taller than you, had a great posture, and almond, dark brown eyes that suited her dark skin tone perfectly. Her body leaned more towards the slimmer side.

“Shut up! No, it would not”, you let out a small giggle. “It would look gorgeous on you, buy it.”

She smiled a little at your laughs. She was happy to see you at least a little cheerful again. “Yeah, but I think it’d look better on you. I’m entitled to my own opinion, am I not?”

You knew this debate was gonna go back and forth, because of her stubbornness. “Let’s both buy the skirt.”

You ended up doing so, added by a bunch of bags full of clothing. This may’ve turned into your new coping mechanism. Who needed therapy when you can go on a shopping spree?

Two hours were spent in boutiques and clothing stores and Jane decided she was tired, wanting to visit the local spa.

“No, seriously, these Riverdale seasons just keep on getting worse and worse. Netflix needs to step up their game ASAP”, Jane ranted, making you laugh at how serious she takes it. “It’s getting embarrassing. I’m being for real.”

The two of you were sitting in the whirlpool at the spa, relaxing your whole bodies a little.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, I don’t watch these new Netflix shows anyways. Been stuck on the vampire diaries for the last 7 years”, you chuckled, knowing you hated trying new things. “Can you pass me one of those magazines?”

Jane nodded, grabbing a random one from the table next to her and handed it to you, without looking at it.

The cover of it caught your eyes immediately. How could it not, when your ex’s new girl looks absolutely dazzling on the front page of it.

‘Supermodel Yuki Sakurai talks summer fashion tips, struggle with self-love and most importantly, her hot, new boyfriend the media is going crazy over’ was the headline of the Harper’s Bazaar Magazine cover.

You felt your stomach getting sick and your breath getting heavier, but you still flipped the pages until you found the one with her interview. You began reading it, skipping the boring parts.

‘Int: so, we see you have a new boyfriend. Tell us, how did you guys meet?

Yuki: Yeah, he’s an amazing guy. We actually met about six or five months ago at one of my photoshoots, since he’s a photographer and we exchanged numbers and stuff, and then we made it official mid last month.’

About six or five months ago? You were with him back then, but her answer was too unclear to find out if he cheated or not.

“Woah, yn, you okay?”

You entirely forgot about the fact that you were with Jane, let alone somewhere other than your bed.

Before you could react, Jane snatched the magazine out of your hand.

“You really can’t escape them, huh?”, She sighs, taking you in her arm. “It’s gonna be okay, baby. In a few months, you’re gonna look back to this and think wow I really was stuck on a guy who’s scared of microwaves and cried like a bitch when Iron Man died.”

You laughed, punching her arm playfully. “You know, I actually love these things about him. Shows his sensitivity and the way he perceives things.”

Jane looked at you as if she didn’t believe you were actually saying that stuff. “Girl, you’re overanalyzing this. Let’s just throw this shit in the trash, okay?”

She put the magazine aside.

“I just don't know what I did wrong.”, You murmured. “I know we weren't the best, but we didn't even fight that much. We could’ve talked it through.”

Jane pursed her lips and cooed. “You know, relationships are complicated sometimes. The reason why he broke up, to begin with, is probably not your fault.”

“Well, what if it is? I mean what if I was too fat or too ugly for him?”, you asked. “If he wanted a skinny girl so bad, I could’ve lost weight for him, I don’t get it.”

Jane looked at you like you lost your mind entirely. “I can’t believe you just said that! Even if that was the reason, which it wasn’t, you shouldn’t make yourself suffer because of it. That’s his loss. You’re beyond gorgeous and you have an amazing body.”

“You’re just saying that.”, tears slowly started coming up in your eyes. “But the thing is Jungkook knows all about my insecurities. Why would he do that to me? I know he knows that I’m still not over him.”

You usually didn’t like crying in front of other people, but you didn’t really care at the moment, besides that was Jane. You trusted her with your life.

“Girl, men are trash, I can’t believe you’re crying over one right now, seriously.”, she wiped your tears and held your face between her hands. “You know, honestly, I’ve read so many articles about how models actually hate themselves and have like the lowest self-esteem so in conclusion, no matter how miserable you are, his new girl is even more miserable.”

You knew Jane didn’t mean it in a harmful way, but it sounded harsher than needed. “I don’t hate her, she probably doesn’t even know about me. I’m just really insecure. He upgraded from me. He’s dating a whole model now.”

The situation just felt like a deja vu of these last few weeks laying in your bed, even though you were at the spa with your friend. You were supposed to have fun, yet you didn’t feel like having any.

“Why would you feel insecure when all you’ve seen of her are Instagram posts and red carpet pictures? She’s supposed to look beautiful, it’s her job.”

To a certain extent, Jane was right, but that didn’t really help your situation, you still felt bad about yourself. You stayed silent.

“C’mon, this isn’t fun anymore. Let’s leave.”, Jane mumbled.

_______

it’s been two days since the incident at the spa and you felt a little bit better now.

Those days were spent reading the same three book series you’ve read your entire life, overthinking, hot Cheetos, Indian takeout, and Netflix. It really wasn’t as miserable as it sounded.

You were just taking a little rest before term break ends and you have to go back to the shithole college again.

Jane was using the time until college starts again, but in different ways than you were. She was planning on going to some frat party in an hour and forget about the world’ for a minute. Or till 4 in the morning, where she will most likely drunk call you and ask you for a ride back to the dorms, because the friends she went to the party with were shit-faced as well and were in no way capable of driving anywhere without the cops stopping them.

Going out partying on a Friday night was a Jane tradition. In the past, you’d sometimes go with her, but you mostly spent your time out with Jungkook doing something more fun than partying could ever be. Now you can’t do that anymore, but laying in bed is more ideal than a party for you at the moment.

“How do I look?”, Jane twirled around to show off her black cocktail dress. She looked beautiful.

“You look beautiful.”, you responded to her question. “Are you leaving now?”

“Hm”, she said, to which you nodded. “You sure you don’t wanna come with me? It’s gonna be really fun.”

You shook your head no.

“Alright”, she shrugged, making her way out of your bedroom. “But I told you, it’s gonna be fun.”

You chuckled, rolling your eyes. “I’ll stay here, I have shit to do.”

“Yeah, right, like binge-watching the vampire diaries and taking 5-hour naps”, she said in a sarcastic tone. “Anyway, bye-bye, Vic’s already waiting for me in the car.”

Victoria was perhaps one of the most obnoxious people you know, yet she was too much of a nice person for you to talk shit about her. The voice of your intrusive thoughts couldn’t help but to, though.

“Alright, bye, take care and say hi to Vic from me.”

After Jane left, an hour went by like it was just a couple of minutes. You were starting to get real bored and decided to watch some regular tv in hopes to find something you enjoy. You ended up not finding anything fun, but you still watched it, because you didn’t have anything else to do.

A few moments later, the doorbell rang and you were suddenly worried. Either this is a serial killer or Jane forgot something.

But to your surprise, it was neither, but it was none other than

“Jungkook?”, truly, those were the only words you were able to mutter out at your shocked state. “What are you do-“

At the speed of light, you were interrupted by your ex-boyfriend pressing his lips to yours. He didn’t say a word.

You weren’t expecting him. Not knowing how you were supposed to feel at the moment, you just let it happen. You were sure your mental state couldn’t get any worse than that, no matter how this will affect you in the end.

“Is Jane home?”, for the first time in 3 months, you’re hearing his silky voice again.

Jungkook knew Jane always had some type of special hatred for him with her killing stares and her bitter comments. You didn’t notice either though.

He also knew she must hate him even more after your breakup. Or maybe she liked him more now since she was able to get rid of him without killing anyone.

“No”, your answer was short and it made a weight fall from Jungkook’s shoulders before he continued kissing you.

It wasn’t anything you haven’t done before, yet it felt like it’s been ages since it last happened. Your mind drifted to the thought of Jungkook and his model girlfriend. You were asking yourself what their sex life was like, if she was tighter than you or if she had stretch marks and scars.

Jungkook’s lips were moving south, giving your neck wet kisses, while you were wondering why he broke up with his model girlfriend. Or if he even did. You felt selfish for not caring.

Removing your clothes one by one, you were left in your underwear, while Jungkook only had his boxers on.

This body was yours. You knew it inside out. Where he liked to get touched and where he preferred not to. You knew him better than anyone else. You were sure.

You already moved to your bedroom, since Jungkook effortlessly carried you there. You were sat on his lap, facing him and your hands were in his messy hair. His hands were around your waist, he was slightly smiling into the kiss, as you started grinding on him. He loved how easy it was for him to turn you on. You were still his.

Cutting off the kiss, he looked you in the eyes, while his hand was on your cheek. “Say aah.”, he said.

You widened your mouth obediently, which was followed by him collecting as much saliva as he could in his mouth and spitting it into your mouth.

“Swallow.”, demanding, he spit on your face, his eyes become darker with every passing moment. You did as he said.

You looked at him with big eyes. He knew you loved it. You’ve always had a thing for him degrading and humiliating you during sex.

He started grinding on you almost desperately. You knew exactly what he wanted.

Getting out of his grip, you dropped to your knees and freed his hard dick from his drawers. You reached for it and started pumping it, and licking it. Your spit was leaking down his dick as you used it for lubrication. Then you started sucking on it, just the way you used to.

Jungkook’s groans and satisfied sighs were enough to make you even wetter than before. You enjoyed giving more than receiving.

Your mouth was wet and warm around him, giving him a feeling of familiarity. You lick over the tip a few times, then proceed to fully take him into your mouth.

The bulge in your throat could be seen and the way your eyes were tearing up a little wasn’t bothering you at all. You loved giving.

Jungkook started thrusting in and out of your warm, welcoming mouth, his tip hitting the back of your throat multiple times.

“Fuck”, a throaty moan left Jungkook’s mouth, giving you hints that he was about to cum. And he did, releasing in your mouth before you swallowed it. “Shit, baby, that was so good.”

You felt your face heat up and a sheepish smile made its way to your face. Your throat was sore.

The two of you were on the bed again. To you, it felt like it was the times before your breakup again, when you’d purposely start an argument just for the makeup sex because Jungkook wasn’t giving you any anymore. It was like sex was the only thing to look forward to.

You felt attached to Jungkook to a point where it was dangerous. You weren’t okay when he wasn’t around. He affected every part of your life and God knew it wasn’t always a positive thing. Maybe it was the fact that he took your virginity. Maybe because he was your first boyfriend, the first guy that made you believe you were worthy of love and that someone was actually capable of loving you. One thing you knew was Jungkook had an expansive influence on your life.

While you were practically drowning in your own thoughts, Jungkook was busy taking off your underwear.

“You okay?”, Jungkook calmly asked you, looking at your riddled face.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m okay.”, you sounded distracted, Jungkook wasn’t sure about asking you what it is though. He didn’t feel like getting personal.

So he shrugged it off and started kissing you again, his dick was unsurprisingly hard again as he played with your tits. He drew lines over the stretch marks of your thighs and kissed them.

“Can I fuck your ass?”, Jungkook’s raspy, tired-sounding voice casually asked, to which you quickly nodded, knowing that Jungkook’s favorite position had always been anal. He was massaging and gripping your ass firmly.

“This is gonna hurt at first, but I promise it gets better.”, He warned calmly into your ear, while putting some lube on his dick and just went right into your ass, slowly thrusting so you don’t feel as much pain.

He was right, it did hurt a lot when he first put it in, but the pain just changed into pleasure in a matter of time and his slow-paced thrusts helped with the adjustment.

“Fuck, I missed this ass”, he practically growled into your ear, as he kept on thrusting in and out, steadily gripping your wide hips with his big, veiny hands. “It just doesn’t feel right when I’m inside her ass.”

You knew your confidence shouldn’t rely on Jungkook bringing his girlfriend down, but you couldn’t help but feel good about your body when he said that. It’s been a while since you felt even a tiny spark of confidence. You weren’t so fond of him mentioning her while he was inside of you.

Your soft moans rang through the whole room like sirens, while he watched your ass jiggle against his pelvis, thrusting in and out faster every second. He missed this.

You had always thought you were indecisive, but you knew exactly what you wanted. You just couldn’t have that, so you’d eventually have to settle for less.

Jungkook wasn’t to blame for it, you just couldn’t concede your shortcomings. The movie’s villain wasn’t always the real villain.

Your hands traveled to your pussy to make sure you’d orgasm as well, when you heard Jungkook’s breathing getting heavier and his thrusts getting gentler than before, indicating that he was gonna cum soon. You were certain he could make you cum with just anal, but you wanted to cum with him.

With furrowed eyebrows and drops of sweat dripping down his body, Jungkook looked down at your arched back. The whole scene was sticky, especially when Jungkook presses his upper body to your back, whispering sweet nothings into your ear and kissing the spot.

It was kinda odd, having sex with your ex-boyfriend you were crying over just a day ago. There was a certain intensity to it though. Like your long-lasting nostalgia was finally fulfilled.

You’ve realized you couldn’t imagine yourself being intimate with anybody else. Jungkook already knew your body, how it looked without the material protecting it, the strawberry skin, the slightly sagging breasts you swore you’d surgically remove once you had the chance to but didn’t. He knew where you liked being touched, he was the first one to even touch you in those places.

You were unsure what you’d do with yourself when he leaves.

Jungkook’s thrusts slowly started stopping and you too felt the familiar sensation in your stomach.

Suddenly, you two were nothing but desire, fear, and pleasure. And faster than you could process, you came together.

For minutes after your orgasm, you were just laying on the bed, thoughtless. Maybe a little regretful. Not you, but him.

You weren’t facing each other, but you could hear each other’s breathing. Your stomach was filled with something you’d describe as post-sex melancholia.

All of a sudden, Jungkook stood up from the bed, startling your resting self a little, but you decided to keep quiet, wanting to see what he was going to do.

He made his way to the door to leave what he thought was your sleeping body laying there. You couldn’t keep quiet anymore.

“Where are you going?”, your soft voice suddenly rang in his ears. “Don’t you wanna stay?”

He didn’t know how exactly to tell you. You’ve always been a gullible little girl, you were the type of girl to think fucking equals love. Little did you know that wasn’t the case at all.

“Yn.... you know I can’t”, Jungkook responded, you knew it wasn’t gonna be good when he said your name like that. “I got a girl at home and I don’t wanna mess shit up with her.”

There it was. Your suspicion was corroborated. He was still going out with the model and you were a certified home wrecker. Great.

You physically felt your heart breaking. “Bu- but why are you here then?”

You were incapable of being mad at him at the moment. It was your fault for letting him in, again. After breaking your trust and your heart.

“This was a mistake”, he declared, not looking into your eyes. “I’m sorry, yn...”

He’s moved past your room now, already at the exit of your dormitory. He was about to leave.

“You already ruined shit with her when you came here and fucked me.”, your voice was small, but your words were heard.

Without looking back, he left.

And you went back to your room, standing in the middle of it for a minute in silence before your brain fully processed what had happened and your tears started pouring.

[migilini]

Hiiii! I liked how you did the road trip one shot and was wondering if you could do a request for Charlie Gillespie where the reader and Charlie are dating but have been living in different states due to COVID and the boys do an Instagram live and the reader wants to be on the live with them and Charlie gets so excited and it’s fluffy?

So far apart - Charlie Gillespie

A/N: ofc i can! Thank you so much, hope you like it :) I will proofe read it tomorrow.

Words: 1.5k

Masterlist

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Tiredness was your new default state. College alone was stressful and hard enough plus it didn't help that you had to do it online from your little NY appartement that you shared with three other roommates. But you had too. You were in your last semester ever! That was motivation enough to pull through.

Currently you were trying to facetime your boyfriend Charlie. You haven't seen him in about four months but if someone would ask your roommates, they would say it felt like an eternity of you moaning and pouting about not seeing him. When COVID started, the two of you seriously debated about moving in together. However, at that time, your classes were not online yet and you couldn't move away, he also couldn't move to New York with you because he still had meetings with the JATP Cast.

You stared at your ringing phone, desperate to hear his voice. You knew that he should be awake, you had the time zones imprinted on your brain.

Sorry babe, have a meeting in 5… Will call you after okay? <3 the message that just popped up on your screen made you frown a little. You weren't mad, you just had a really awful week and missed him like crazy.

Sure thing <3 yout texted back and threw the phone onto your bed. Deciding that instead of waiting for him to call back, you could use the time usefully and start studying for your next test in two days. 

It was an hour later, you were completely engrossed in the textbook, so you barely heard the ringing of your phone. Maybe a bit too quick, you tossed all your books to the ground and launched yourself on the bed to find your phone. 

His pretty face filled your screen “Heyyy!” “Hello beautiful!” You two grinned at each other.

“How are--” A knocking on your door interrupted your question. “Yes?” The door opened and revealed one of your roommates Alexis with a sheepish look on her face “I’m really sorry to interrupt but Tara just broke off with her boyfriend and she needs a hug.”

You looked up at your red haired friend “She broke up with Tom?!” Alexis nodded “It's an emergency” she claimed. Charlie understood this as his clue to end the call saying a quick goodbye and a don't worry about it, when you shot him an apologetic look. 

This is how it went nearly every time. Something always came up, either you were studying non-stop and he didn't want to distract you or he had actor things and meetings going on. It was truly tiring. The last time you really had the opportunity to facetime was a couple weeks ago and even then you fell asleep inert 15minutes. When Charlie accidentally lulled you to sleep with a song he's been working on. 

Still the two of you made it work. Charlie had started writing you weekly letters with his perfume on it. And you being your crafty self, sent him a little care package with letters, some self made food and paintings, every now and then.

You just finished all your tests and essays for this semester and you felt free again. Taking a deep breath, you opened your bedroom window and put your school books away. Sinking down on your bed, you closed your eyes temporarily, enjoying the moment. You got up again to get yourself something to eat and a coffee. Your roommates were currently away, probably getting groceries or books at the College Library.

You mindlessly scrolled through Instagram, the sandwich you made yourself still laying next to you on the nightstand. Ever since Julie and the Phantoms released, the cast's accounts blew up like crazy and Charlie always showed you off like a queen so of course people found your page as well. You didn't mind though. Most of the people were really nice and respecting, protecting your relationship from all the not so nice guys

You just answered some DM’s, chuckling at a meme that Maddie had sent you, when you got a notification that Owen was live. Naturally you clicked on it, knowing that Charlie most likely will be in the live as well, due to the fact that he was currently at Owen’s with Jeremy.

You were one of the first ones. Owen grinned when he saw your name come up in the chat. 

“Guten Morgen everybody.” You chuckled when you heard your boyfriend singing in the background, writing in the chat that Owen should say hi to Charlie. “Are all of you streaming JATP?” he asked the live audience while you nodded to yourself, your laptop open beside you. It was a bit embarrassing to admit how often you saw the show, but every time you felt lonely you watched it. It had some really cute guys in it after all.

He read the chat “Do you like watching the show you participated in? Thats a good question. Charlie, Charlie! I have a question for you.” The camera turned and it showed the canadian boy you fell in love with. 

“Eh…” he said as he walked into the kitchen, Owen following close. “It was very weird at first. Guess I'm more used to it now.” he answered honestly. You weren't even listening, you just stared at your phone in trance, the light making him look so incredibly pretty.

Suddenly you got an invitation to join the live from Owen. You sat up a bit straighter and blinked a few times before accepting. 

“Helloooooo!” he screamed, making you laugh. “Hi Owen. Yall are up early.”

“Yeah… you know Char. That dumb early riser.” he complained. “Yeah I feel you. Though he lets me sleep so he must love me more than he loves you.” you teased making Owen pout in a childish way.

“Charlie! Who do you love more, me or y/n?” the statement made your boyfriend laugh and for a moment your breath hitched, it was music in your ears and once again you realised how much you missed it.

“I’m really sorry bud, but definitely y/n…I want to...” Charlie just wanted to explain why when he heard your chuckling from Owen’s phone. “See told ya.” It was truly a blessing that the camera was still turned to your boyfriend, making it easy for you to see his reaction. He nearly let the fork he was holding fall out of his hand, his eyes widening while his mouth grew into a big grin. “Is that y/n?” he asked cautiously. Apparently Owen nodded, because before you knew, the camera turned and you were face to face with your boyfriend. 

“Baby!” he screamed, a wide, toothy smile on his lips. “How dare you go on live with Owen but not with me!” he jokes. “How was the history test? As hard as you thought it would be?” you cut off his rambling “Hi! Nice to see you too. No, it was way harder than I expected. Let's hope for the best, I get the results sometime next week”

“I bet you killed that test baby! No, Owen you don't get the phone back… I don't care that it's your live.” The chat was freaking out over Charlie's happiness by just seeing you, talking about how they want love like that.

“Little explanation for everybody. Me and Charlie haven't really been able to facetime so were just really excited right now. Sorry if it's boring.” you explained to the chat. 

“Don’t ever say that ever again.” he said in a serious tone “it's not boring.” you held your hands up in surrender. “Sorry sorry. Can I talk to Owen again? I mean he is the one who invited me.” you teased, poking your tongue out. With a pout he gave the phone back to Owen.

“Are you also streaming the show today?” he asked you. Charlie was in the background, looking at you over Owens shoulder, making silly faces. “Of course! Who do you think I am? I’ve been watching it everyday since it came out.” Owens' face fell “You're kidding… that doesn't… that doesn't seem healthy.” you shrugged “Well i don't really care. I have this massive crush on someone from the show, just can't get enough of him.” 

The camera shook and a couple crunts later you were once again faced with Charlie. “I sure hope it's me or you're not allowed to wear that shirt anymore.” he pointed to the shirt you were currently wearing and that was in fact one of his.

“Not gonna tell you babe. My mouth is shut.” you winked, making him blush. “I miss you.” he blurted out with puppy eyes. “I miss you too. Can’t wait to see you.” he grinned at that excited for the surprise he had planned. 

“I think i'm gonna go, let you guys actually comment on the show. I love you Charlie.” You sent him a kiss and he pretended to catch it with his free hand.

“Eww that's so cheesy.” Owen muttered from somewhere in the back.

“I love you too.”

[inkandpen22]

Young Hearts Divided (11/?)

Pairing: Sirius Black x Female!Reader/ James Potter x Female!Reader

Warnings: grief, mild arguing, fluff 

Word Count: 1.9k

Part Summary: While Y/N is struggling to cope with the news of her brother, Sirius is lost as to how to help

Masterlist

Sirius

I hear the others approaching to join Remus and I by the Black Lake. Y/N hasn’t moved from that spot under the young oak for sometime now. I was worried before she sat down, now I’m afraid. I’ve never seen Y/N this way. Usually she never stops talking- and I love that about her- but she hasn’t said a word in hours. I feel terrible because there’s nothing I can do about it. I’ve never felt so helpless. Even when I’m home with my parents I can control the situation to an extent, but not here, not now. 

Out of the corner of my eye, Lily settles down beside me. Then, there’s a pat on my shoulder, then a comforting grip. James. 

“How long has she been like that?” Lily glances between me and Remus. 

All I can seem to do is watch Y/N, make sure she’s alright. For some reason, I’m afraid she may disappear. If I glance away, even for a moment, she’ll be gone. 

“A while,” Remus mutters with a rare gloominess in his tone. 

“How long is a while?” James inquires. 

“Hours,” Remus shrugs, sounding uncertain of the the exact time. 

“All day,” I correct sharply, finally breaking my silence. 

They must know the severity of this. They need to understand how much this is affecting Y/N. 

Lily shifts closer to me, eager to learn more. “Has she eaten anything? Had a sip of something?” 

“No.” My answer is plain, short, and to the point, exactly how we should be acting in order to fix her. 

Lily sighs, Well we should-” 

“What do you suggest Lily?!” I snap, finally looking away from Y/N to address her. “If you have any bright ideas by all means share it with the rest of the class! We’ve tried everything and no matter what we do nothing works!” 

Lily cowers, struck hard by my uncharacteristically harsh remarks. 

“Sirius...” James states my name disapprovingly yet calmly with understanding as a best friend should. 

He is right though... I shouldn’t have snapped. None of this is Lily’s fault, nothing is ever really Lily’s fault. 

“Alright, I’m sorry!” I rush out. “I just... I don’t know how to help her! I don’t know how and... and she...” 

I find myself struggling to find the right words. I want to help Y/N, but I don’t know how. 

“It’ll be alright,” Lily assures, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. 

She offers me a kind smile, one I’m all too familiar with. How can she say that when there’s nothing we can do? 

“Are you sure of that? Really?” I question baffled. “Because I have no clue how this will turn out. I don’t know how she’ll recover from this. If what McGonagall said is true, Y/N and her family, they... What would you do Lil? How would you feel if you found out your parents or sister have betrayed you?” 

“None of us understand like you do, Sirius,” she points out a reality I hadn’t considered. 

“Me?” I frown in confusion. 

“Your family, Narcissa, Belatrix, your parents, Regulus,” Lily begins to explain. “They may not be Death Eaters, but they see sense in You-Know-Who, right? You understand Y/N’s situation better than anyone. You don’t know what to do? All you can do is be there for her. Talk to her. When you have nothing say, simply sit with her. All you can do is be present, care, and listen when given the chance.” 

“She’s right,” James adds in agreement. 

“Sometimes the best you can do is be there,” Remus determines. 

I take a moment, processing what my friends have advised me to do. Despite their wisdom, I’m still hesitant. They carry a lot of faith in me. Lily is right, my cousins, brother, entire family haven’t exactly be withholding of their true feelings when it comes to Muggles. In fact, they might as well just declare themselves Death Eaters in order to cease the confusion. Everybody already accuses them of being ones. 

Taking a deep breath, I rise from my position on the grass and brush down my uniform. Y/N remains still, watching the ripples of the lake as she has all day. I wonder what’s going through her mind. Oh what I would give to hear her speak to me. It could be about anything, something as small as a homework assignment. I just want to hear her voice. 

Cautiously, I begin to approach her at a steady pace. I don’t wish to frighten her, but I also don’t want to creep up on her. Perhaps, if I walk normally and act normal, that would make her feel better. I’m certain she hears me coming despite her lack of reaction. It doesn’t help that I feel the others’ eyes on me. They’re all waiting to see what happens. 

Maintaining my composure, I steadily ease myself down onto the grass beside her. Her sight remains ahead, somewhere along the horizon. Her eyes are narrow into slits from the bright sun on the ripples of the water. I turn my head toward her to catch a better glimpse of her face and she still doesn’t react. Her lips remain in a soft frown and her features gloomy. I swallow hard, bringing my attention back to the horizon. I don’t what do. How do I help her? How do I take the pain away? 

Unexpectedly, Y/N’s hand glides over my fists gently and gives them a slight squeeze. Bewildered, I snap my head in her direction. Unfazed, she slowly rests her head on my shoulder. Afraid that the slightest movement will cause her to cower, I remain still. She scoots closer to me and slips her arm through mine, clinging to me. Hesitantly, I plant a kiss to her forehead. I’ve missed her presence. Her closeness to me. 

Resting my chin on top of her head, I stare off into the distance as a though crosses my mind. Then, the thought simply leaves me. “I know this doesn’t help, but I love you...” 

My voice is so faint I nearly lose it in the slight breeze brushing through the valley. There’s a prolonged pause and I debate within myself whether she missed it or I made the situation worse. Perhaps she didn’t want to hear that. Maybe I messed up. 

“It does help,” she whispers as her fingers tighten around my bicep. 

And finally, I can breathe again. At least for now, I’m not losing her. 

__________________________________________

Later that night... 

Y/N

Late following a stroll about the castle after dinner, Sirius and I return to the Common Room. It’s empty as the others have gone to bed. I won’t lie and say I’m not a tad relieved everyone’s to bed. I’m not sure I could handle everyone’s starring. At dinner, everyone tried their best to act like everything is normal, but even Lily couldn’t fake a smile. 

Sirius and I lay on the couch facing each other. The faint cracking of the fire fills the silence. A nice thick wool blanket keeps us warm and I find myself more at ease than I’ve been the last few days. He brings his warm hand to my cheek and brushes his thumb across it. My eyes fall shut at the sensation. Sirius, a blanket, a fire, a couch, and silence is like heaven to me. It’s my safe haven. 

“I think I should go see my brother,” I mumble. 

I already know what Sirius is going to say. Right on cue, his features change to express hostility. The peace moment already becoming a distant memory. 

“Go-” he inhales sharply. “Go see your brother? Seriously, Y/N?! Do you have any idea how dangerous that could be?!”

“Come with me then!” I plead, griping his hand in mine. 

He yanks his hand from me and sits up in a jolt. “That doesn’t by many means change the level of danger!”

I sigh, leaning up to sit beside him. My arm rests across his back as I rest my chin on his shoulder. “He won’t hurt me Sirius. He wouldn’t, couldn’t.”

“He’s a Death...” he stops himself before he says it.

My head snaps up from its position on his shoulder. “He might be,” I correct him. “We can’t be sure!” 

“Either way, it’s too risky!” Sirius declares as though it’s law now. 

Sirius shakes his head repeatedly as he avoids my gaze. His lower lip remains bit beneath his teeth. It doesn’t take a genius to see that his mind is traveling miles a minute. 

“Please Sirius...” I whisper desperately. “I have to know...”

He sighs deeply as his head falls. “You’ll go no matter what I say, right?”

“Probably,” I answer honestly. 

I don’t have a choice. I have to know. 

“Alrighty then,” he exhales sharply, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck. “We’ll do a day trip to London I guess. We’ll have to be smart about it though, to avoid suspension.”

I nod frantically, excited that he’s doing this with me. I knew it would be a long shot that he would agree to it at all. “We’ll use the tunnels and leave from the Shrieking Shack,” I suggest. 

His brows scrunch together. “Wait, how do you know about the tunnels?”

“Remus showed me once,” I explain plainly. “You don’t actually think I believed your little story about the four of you hiding in the Room of Requirement during Remus’s changes?” I giggle. He would too. 

He shrugs, appearing a tad offended. “I thought it was pretty convincing...” 

“You couldn’t possibly contain a werewolf in there!” I laugh. 

Sirius leans in a plants a quick peck to my temple. Then, he takes my face in his hands, making me stare into his eyes. “Just promise to never follow us on a full moon and to never go to the shack without me! If anything ever happened to you, I... I wouldn’t know what to do-” 

Interrupting his request, I plant a kiss to his lips. At first, he’s caught off guard, unsure of what to do. Then, he leans into the action hungrily. Before we both get too caught up in the moment, I break from him and rest my forehead against his. 

“Promise,” I smile. 

He shares my smile and brings his lips to mine again. Only this time, it’s gentle and more like we’re sealing the promise. 

“But promise me something in return,” I mumble against his lips. 

He leans back to meet my eyes. A brow rises with curiosity. “What is it?”

“Promise me that you won’t do anything reckless during a full moon. Every month I’m so afraid that you’ll sacrifice hour safety to protect Remus or the others,” I confess a worrisome thought that’s been bothering me for quite some time. “I lay awake at night asking the universe to keep you safe-” 

“I promise,” he blurts out without a second thought. 

It brings an immense wave of relief to finally confess my worrying and for him to be so compliant. 

“Y/N...” He wraps an arm around me, bringing in closer, if that’s even possible. “I would never do anything that would risk me losing you. I genuinely see us together for the rest of our lives. After we’re done here, we have the entirely world to see. I don’t want to lose a chance at that.” 

I lift my hand up and brush my fingers through his long black strands. Goodness, I love him so much. It amazes me sometimes how much I love him. I’m so thankful for Sirius. I look forward to forever with him if it will be just like this moment. 

____________________________

Masterlist

Tags:  @hannah220506 @agirlwholovescoffee-blog @a-classic-eye@devilstradegy @blackbirddaredevil23 @tay-mariee @blackpinkdolan @findzela @emilianamason @missryerye @loonyslytherin

[fellulahh]

Diavolo crashes MC’s wedding (extra long milestone piece!)

Just a quick note: I could not for the LIFE OF ME work out how to do an ‘under the cut’ on this piece so I apologise if this takes up 99% of your dash!

I haven’t given a name for the fiancé so don’t be alarmed when he’s constantly referred to as this

I hope you like it! Let me know what you think! This piece is very soft just to warn you

-

As Diavolo stood outside the door to MC’s home, he let out a deep, shaky breath. He couldn’t believe he was there. It felt like he’d been standing on her doorstep for hours as he debated whether he should knock or not. It’d taken him weeks before he even decided to go to the human realm but now that he was there he began to regret his decision.

Did he really think it was a good idea going to see MC when she’s due to marry another? It’d only hurt him more to see her with anyone that wasn’t him.

All he could think of was the day that MC left.

Having said her goodbyes to all of the brothers, MC walked up to the Prince. Her lip began to tremble as she avoided his gaze and grinned awkwardly. His would be the hardest goodbye.

“MC.” Diavolo smiled sadly, “I must say I never expected to feel this affected by your departure. It’d seem I’ve grown fond of you...” he spoke quietly to ensure none of the other brothers could interrupt their moment.

Stepping up to him, MC wrapped her arms around his body, pulling him in for a tight hug. “Thank you for letting me experience this.” She breathed, “If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t even know this realm exists.”

“There’s no need to thank me.” He shook his head as he held her close to his chest. “Now you must go - your fiancé will be waiting for you.”

MC’s face contorted at the mention. In her last week in Devildom she decided to tell the brothers the truth about her life back at home. For all the time she’d spent with them, she was actually engaged despite her blossoming relationships with the brothers. However, it wasn’t your usual engagement. Sipping a glass of wine, MC expressed how unhappy she was in the relationship and how she wished she could stay in Devildom forever.

The brothers were all hurt by the revelation at first, but after seeing MC express her anxieties on having to marry such a toxic man, they began to see why she never told them. If she never mentioned or thought about him, perhaps it’d be like he never existed.

Diavolo eventually caught wind of MC’s fiancé through Lucifer but never learned her fears of marrying him. He never expected his heart to sink at the news; Diavolo had never even realised that perhaps he saw MC as more than a friend. Nevertheless, he wouldn’t allow his discovered feelings to change anything. MC was spoken for - he wouldn’t do anything to interfere with that.

As MC’s mind wandered back to the night she confessed to everyone about her secret engagement, she pulled out of the hug with Diavolo. “You’re right.” She breathed shakily. “I assume it will be like I never left?”

“You’ll find yourself exactly where you were when you were first summoned here.” Diavolo smiled as he caressed her cheek.

The brothers stared at him bewildered, why was he touching her in such a way?

Quickly removing his hand after realising he was lingering, he composed himself. “I’ll miss you, MC.” He nodded sincerely.

MC didn’t say anything at first. She wasn’t ready to go back to the human realm without admitting her true feelings. She never wanted to marry her fiancé previously because of the toxicity of their relationship, but now she didn’t want to marry him because she loved another. She’d fallen in love with Diavolo.

Knowing that she’d regret it if her feelings were left unspoken, MC brought her lips closed to the Prince’s ear as she whispered to him.

“I love you, Diavolo.”

Stepping back from him, she walked over to Solomon who had been waiting patiently for her before the Prince could react. Diavolo was left speechless as her words repeated in his mind. MC had promised herself to another but she’d fallen in love with him. Lucifer and the brothers eyed him suspiciously as they all wondered what on Earth she said to him.

Suddenly the Prince’s happy expression fell. MC had felt the same way about him after all this time and now she was leaving. She didn’t even give him the chance to confess his love for her too. And now she was returning to the human realm to marry another. Diavolo had lost his chance to tell her how he felt.

“You ready?” Solomon smiled as MC approached him.

“About as ready as I’ll ever be.” She sighed, as she gave him one last hug.

In her final seconds, she gave a warm smile to all of the brothers as a silent tear slipped down her cheek. And then her eyes fell on Diavolo whose lips were still parted.

“Thank you.” She repeated to him quietly before vanishing into thin air.

Diavolo’s eyes remained glued to the place on the floor where she was just stood. She was gone.

Finding every last ounce of courage, Diavolo finally lifted up his arm, knocking gently on the door. His chest rose up and down as he waited for MC to answer.

Stepping back onto the path, his heart began to race as he saw a silhouette behind the blinds approach the front door. A small smile tugged at his lips as he watched the door handle turn. But then his expression soon fell as a man was revealed.

MC’s fiancé.

“Yes?” He asked rather rudely.

Taken aback by her fiancé’s bluntness, Diavolo quickly shook his head. “Good Morning, I didn’t mean to disturb you. I was wondering if MC was in?”

“She knows you?” The fiancé asked curiously as he leant against the door frame, narrowing his eyes.

“Yes she does.” Diavolo nodded.

“Well I’ve never seen you before.” He scowled as he eyed up the colossal stranger in front of him. “She’s not in though, sorry.”

And with that, the fiancé shut the door leaving Diavolo in complete shock. What did MC see in the man so rude? Confused, and a little hurt, Diavolo began trudging back down the path defeated. Maybe it’s a good thing he didn’t get to see MC, what would he even say to her?

However, he stopped in his tracks after hearing her voice. Spinning around, he saw MC in the window with her fiancé seemingly shouting her. Diavolo couldn’t work out what they were saying but he could tell MC was upset and on the verge of tears. Not wanting to be spotted, he quickly paced down the path and turned at the bottom until he was out of sight.

Pulling out his D.D.D, he didn’t even think as he called Lucifer. Being the trusty right hand man he is, the eldest brother picked up straight away.

“My Lord?” His cool tone spoke down the line.

“Lucifer, I need you to tell me everything you know about MC’s fiancé.” Diavolo demanded. The question caught Lucifer completely off guard. Why was Diavolo calling him about MC weeks after she’d left and why was he asking about her love life?

“Her fiancé?” Lucifer questioned, baffled by the lack of context to their conversation.

“There’s no time to explain, Lucifer. MC could be in trouble - I am aware she told you everything about her engagement so I know she will have mentioned what her fiancé is like.”

Hesitating at first, Lucifer told the truth. “She hates him, My Lord. She expressed that their relationship was incredibly toxic and that she felt trapped with him.”

“Why did you not ever tell me this?” Diavolo asked frustrated, surprising Lucifer.

“I apologise My Lord, I hadn’t realised I should have...” the eldest brother spoke, “is she okay? How have you learnt that she may be in danger?” He asked quickly, beginning to worry about the human he hadn’t hear from since her departure.

“Worry not, Lucifer.” Diavolo breathed, “this is a matter that I shall deal with. I’ll be away from Devildom for the next week. I trust I can leave you in charge.”

“My Lord i—“

Diavolo hung up the D.D.D. There was no time for questions - he had to devise a plan quickly to save MC from her relationship. He silently cursed to himself as he realised the date. The wedding was tomorrow! How was he supposed to have a moment with MC alone away from her fiancé? He was furious at himself for waiting so long to take the initiative. Now it could be too late.

There’s no way he’d ever allow her to marry him, especially now that he knew she wasn’t happy. The only words that repeated in his mind were one of the last she whispered to him.

‘I love you, Diavolo.’

“Why didn’t you tell me, MC?” He asked himself with a long sigh, “I never would have let you go.”

He knew deep down that he’d have to act rash. He’d intended to come to the human realm to just talk to MC but given the circumstances, there was no time for that now. It was a make of break decision that he’d have to make. Should he pour his heart out to her?

Pulling out some human money as he began walking down the street, he realised that time was not in his favour. In mere hours she’d be married to the man who’d trap her forever. Diavolo would have to act fast if he were to save her. Breathing quickly, he couldn’t believe his intentions as his mind raced.

This demon was about to crash the wedding.

*the following day*

As MC stood in front of all of her friends and family in her white gown, she had to try and hold back her tears. Although her groom in front of her had a warm smile on his face, she knew that it was all an act. She let out a sigh as she felt all eyes on them in that moment as they stood in front of the alter.

She’d never felt so alone in all of her life. Everybody had been manipulated by the image of their relationship; nobody knew how trapped MC truly felt.

All her mind could think of was Devildom. The things she would do to throw away this life and return home to the House of Lamentation...

Letting out a shaky breath, she met the cold stare of her fiancé. He’d won.

As the organ playing came to an end, the priest stepped up to the two of them.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of God to witness the joining together of MC and (fiancé) in the holy covenant of marriage.”

Every word felt like venom to MC. To everybody else it was the start of an everlasting bond but to her it was a life sentence.

“(Fiancé), do you take this woman to be your wife, to live together in holy matrimony, to love her, to honour her, to comfort her, and to keep her in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?” The priest continued.

“I do.” He answered, glaring at MC’s concerned face.

She could feel her heart begin to race as the priest turned to face her.

“And MC, do you take this man to be your husband, to live together in holy matrimony, to love him, to honour him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?”

MC froze on the spot. Her watery eyes slowly trailed across the expressions of the expectant guests as she gulped. Her fiancé tightened his grip on her hands as she hesitated, causing her to return her focus to him. His cold stare burned into her skull as her body trembled.

“I d—“

“STOP” a voice boomed as the doors to the church burst open.

There was a chorus of gasps from everybody in the room as they all turned their focus to the stranger that had just forced his way into the building.

MC’s eyes widened completely and her heart flipped as she saw Diavolo rush into the room. Was she hallucinating?

“Diavolo?” She breathed with a sheepish grin as she let go of her fiancés hands.

“You know him?!” Her fiancé spat in disgust at her, “I knew it, I knew you were hiding something from me.”

There were mixed whispers amongst the guests. Some were of shock at the fiancés outburst, some were of disgust as they assumed MC had cheated.

As the demon marched down the aisle, he ignored the burning of his skin as he made his way further into the church. Seeing that MC’s eyes were still fixated on the man who was at their house only yesterday, her fiancé turned his glare to Diavolo. “What is the meaning of this?!” He asked angrily. “What gives you the impression you can show up at my house asking to see my fiancé and then interrupt my wedding?!”

“I’m stopping MC from making the biggest mistake of her life.” Diavolo breathed heavily through gritted teeth as the sensation of being in a place of holiness caused his body to scold. He had to force himself to not let his true demon form show.

Everybody was speechless. Neither the guests nor the priest knew how to react. Sensing huge conflict between the Prince and her fiancé, MC quickly stepped away from the alter. “Excuse me for a moment.” She spoke only just audible enough for most people to hear.

“Where are you going?!” Her fiancé roared from behind as she walked away.

She quickly grabbed Diavolo by his arm as she led him out of the church, leaving her fiancé seething. Exiting the church, she shut the door behind her as she took the Prince away from the grounds.

“Diavolo what are you doing here? Are you hurt?” She asked worried, noticing how much agony he was in. Her small hands found his body as she gazed up at him with concerned eyes.

As soon as he felt her stare, his body relaxed. He seemed to forget about all the pain as he felt her touch again.

“You can’t marry him..” he breathed, “please MC, don’t marry him.”

MC was in complete shock as her chest heaved. She hadn’t heard from any of the brothers let alone Diavolo since she left their realm. The last thing she said to him was that she loved him and that’s how it was left. She felt incredibly faint after the sudden event that had just happened and her tight wedding gown didn’t help. “Why?” She asked quietly.

“Why do you even need to ask?” He asked desperately, “That man in there is awful - you can’t allow yourself to be with someone like him. You’re a prisoner to him, he doesn’t love you!” He panted, “I love you.”

“You came back for me?” MC asked with teary eyes, unable to believe his confession, “how did you find me?”

“I came to see you yesterday.” Diavolo admitted, “But he wouldn’t even allow me to leave a message for you - he practically turned me away as soon as he saw me. And then I heard the way he shouted at you as I left.”

As the Prince spoke, MC had a serious expression on her face as she remember her fiancé accusing her of seeing other men behind his back.

“That was you?” She asked softly.

“It was.” Diavolo nodded, “After that I knew I couldn’t leave you with him, I called Lucifer and demanded he tell me everything he knew about your relationship. That’s when I found out the truth. Why didn’t you tell me, MC?” He asked upset as he held her hand, “why didn’t you tell me I was sending you back to such a monster?”

“I already loved you, Diavolo. I didn’t want to make our goodbye any harder.” MC sighed.

“You should have told me, MC. If it weren’t for Barbatos I may not have made it in time today...” he confessed, “I was afraid I was too late when I arrived.”

MC silently thanked Barbatos. Any second later and she would have made her vow to her fiancé.

“You’re not too late...” she breathed as her glassy eyes watched over his troubled expression.

“I hoped I wouldn’t be.” Diavolo shook his head, “I already made the mistake of not telling you I love you when you confessed to me on your last day. I’d never forgive myself if I made the wrong decision today.”

As MC glanced over her shoulder at the church that held her wedding, her face saddened. “What do I do?” She asked quietly.

“Come home.” Diavolo insisted, “come back with me.”

“But Diavolo the program is over.” MC sighed.

“I don’t care - that’s irrelevant now.” He smiled tranquilly. “I’ve grown too fond of you to allow you stay here in a life you don’t enjoy. Even if you don’t come back for me, come back for the brothers.”

Sensing that Diavolo was worried that she’d lost her love for him, MC placed her hand on his cheek. “You realise there hasn’t been a day that has passed where I haven’t thought of you?” She asked with a small smile. “I loved you the day that I left, and I still love you now.”

Diavolo licked his lips as he listened to her every word. This one human had made his heart so vulnerable; there wasn’t anything that he wouldn’t do for her. He’d give up his title for her along as it meant she’d return with him.

Glancing at the church one more time, MC smiled as she pulled off her veil from her head. “You have no idea the relief I felt when you came crashing through those doors.” She grinned as she dropped the veil to the floor. “Who would have thought a demon would save me from my marriage?”

“Does that mean you’ll come?” Diavolo beamed with a small blush. “I want you to be with me, MC.”

“Of course I’ll come home.” MC breathed, engulfing him in a hug.

Diavolo’s heart had never beaten so fast in all of his existence. He felt an unfamiliar sensation in his stomach as butterflies erupted. As they pulled out of their hug, MC’s eyes flickered to his lips before she quickly pulled him in for a passionate kiss. He held her body tight in his arms as he felt a sense of euphoria.

Finally he’d made the right decision. Finally MC was his.

“Thank you for coming back for me.”

[neon-junkie]

Duality - Chpt.4

Summary: There’s a handful of things you hate, like the men who continue to pester you at the Saloon after you’ve told them no, or the way strangers look at you when you decide to wear pants. But the one thing you hate that most is Micah Bell. But if you hate him so much, then why are you allowing him to wrap his hand around your neck as he grinds his crotch down against yours? Is he using you? or are you using him?

Pairing: Micah Bell x f!Reader

Word Count: lots idk its multi-chapter

Rating: NSFW

[First chapter] [next chapter not posted yet]

It's funny how Micah somehow guessed the perfect size for your new lingerie. Maybe he's held you one too many times, making a mental note of how each part of your body feels in his hands. You can picture that vividly, Micah explaining to the tailor that your breast size is "this big," as he holds his hands out in a cupping motion. You pray he hasn't actually done that, but this is Micah Bell, after all. You pull on the laces of your new corset, fastening yourself up, and then shrug a pretty yet simple dress on. Today seems pleasant, well, it looked pleasant when you peered through your tent flaps this morning, groggy and half-asleep. There's nothing wrong with being a little vain, and you enjoy putting extra effort into your appearance today, fitting in your new lingerie like a glove, and dolling yourself up to... do chores... At least you're doing your chores in style!

The effort in your appearance hasn't gone unnoticed, as many camp members throw compliments your way, along with curious pairs of eyes that trail over your figure for a few moments too long, not that you mind. The camp women are particularly kind, not that they aren't to begin with, fussing and gushing over how pretty you look. Maybe this is what you needed? a day to doll yourself up and soak up all the compliments you receive? and maybe you'll do it more often, seeing as you're feeling rather wonderful today. But all good things must come to an end... you find yourself at Pearson's wagon, chopping vegetables for tonight's supper, sliding another batch off your chopping board straight into the stew pot. It's a boring job, but it beats scrubbing laundry for hours on end, constantly feeling defeated as everybody's clothes are so stained that it's impossible to get them clean. As always, you're minding your own business, your head dipped down, focusing on the task at hand. Of course, you don't notice your partner approaching, but your ears perk up as he lets out a long whistle. "My, oh my," Micah comments. "I didn't realize it was my birthday, but I appreciate you dressin' up for such a special occasion," Micah flirts as he trails over, leaning his weight against the table. He's eyeing you up and down like a piece of meat, and you notice the way he licks his lips. "Mister Bell," you monotonously greet him, "bold of you to assume I dress for anybody but myself," you jab back. Micah lets out a long and irritating laugh, drawn out for longer than necessary. He peers over his shoulder, checking to see if anybody is nearby, before scooting a little closer to speak directly to you. "Guess you are dressin' for me when you're wearin' the lingerie I brought you," he grins. You double-check your surroundings, and once you're happy with how empty the coast is, you lean across the table, speaking under your breath. "It's a replacement, considering you ruined my last set," you remind him, shaking your head as you speak. Yet again, Micah chuckles. "And I'll ruin this set too," he smirks, and you unfortunately know that's a promise. "And then you'll have to buy another replacement," you tut. "That's fine by me. I ain't short on cash, sweetheart. I'll buy and ruin as many as I like." "I ain't your sweetheart, I told you that last night," you grumble under your breath. You straighten your back, and speak slightly above your normal tone of voice, "now if you'll excuse me, Mister Bell, I'm quite busy here," you brush him off, returning to chopping vegetables. "Oh, I do apologise for taking up your precious time, darlin'," Micah sarcastically replies, raising his hands innocently as he moves his weight off the table. "I'll leave you to it," he says with a soft laugh, then turns heel and wanders back through camp, probably debating which victim to pester next. Your brows furrow as you watch him leave, grumbling to yourself. He knows damn well that neither of you are meant to bring your business into camp, and he especially knows that you're not meant to openly talk about it. Somebody could be lurking nearby, somebody could be on the other side of the wagon, accidentally stumbling upon this juicy piece of information. The camp loves gossip, and something like that would spread like a wildfire. You hate how vividly you can picture it, the faces of everybody scowling your way as they find out that you're sleeping with a pest that you claim to hate. You've had one too many fights with Micah, both inside and outside of camp; imagine how hypocritical people would find you if they suddenly found out that you enjoy his company when nobody else is around. Honestly, what else did you expect? Micah rarely ever keeps his word, and you're surprised that he did when he said he'd buy you replacement lingerie. Oh well, that conversation is done now, and you'll have to keep on your toes around camp, just in case Micah decides to try and pull something stupid on you.

  By the time evening rolls around, your body is exhausted. You've fastened your corset a little too tight this morning, although at the time it felt comfortable. After slipping into something loose and cosy, you start your final chore for today - guard duty. Lenny makes a passing comment about how tonight is quiet and boring, as always, and wishes you luck as he hands you the rifle.

Lenny was right, this is boring. You're currently leaning against a tree on the outskirts of camp, the rifle gripped loosely in your hands; you can feel yourself nodding off, your head dipping and your eyes falling shut. Unlike others, you try to take your jobs seriously, so you push your weight off the tree, doing another lap of the camp in an attempt to wake yourself up.

As you pass by a lantern, you take out your pocket watch, checking how long you have left before you can finally crawl into bed. It's 2am, one hour to go. You make your way down one of the paths leading into camp, eventually dipping off into the trees once you meet the entrance; you never normally trail this far from camp, but why not shake things up a bit?

"Fancy meetin' you out here," Micah comments out of nowhere, making you jump out of your skin, almost dropping your rifle.

"Shit, Micah!" you snap at him, "why you gotta scare me like that?"

"Ain't you on guard duty? you ain't doin' a very good job," he snickers, leaning his weight against a nearby tree, his hands resting on the waistband of his pants. Usually, Micah would rest his hands on his gun belt, but he's stripped of most clothing tonight, wandering around in his simple pants, shirt, and hat.

"I must be more tired than I thought, I'm surprised I didn't notice a buffoon approaching me," you jab back, rolling your eyes at his comment. No doubt, Micah has been stalking you for some time, waiting for the right moment to give you a sudden wakeup call.

"Oh, doll, you poor thing. You want me to go and warm your bed up for you?" Micah taunts, making you grip your rifle tighter. He lets out a chuckle, noticing how angry you look, even through the darkness of the trees.

"What is it with you?" you snap. "Did you really come out here just to pester me?!"

"Mhm," Micah agrees with a nod. He shifts his weight off the tree, taking a few steps over to you, bridging the gap. Before you can swat him away, his hand is pulling at your neckline, peering down your blouse. "Why ain't you wearing the lingerie that I brought you?" he asks, pouting dramatically.

"Off," you command, slapping his hand away. Micah begins to laugh, and without thinking, you slap him across the face, cutting his laughter short.

"Oooh," Micah sighs, giving his cheek a rub. "Not very friendly tonight, are we?"

"I ain't very friendly to anybody who puts their dirty paws on me," you grunt, and turn heel, attempting to walk away. Micah reaches out to take a hold of your wrist, his grip tightening when you try to shake him off. "Doll, I only came out here to let off some steam with you."

"You really think I'm gonna fuck you after that?"

"Yep."

You let out a long, defeated sigh. There are two options presented to you: you can either turn down Micah and let the next hour slowly trail by, bored with nothing to do, or you can enjoy his unwelcomed company, tiring yourself out before bed.

"Alright, but let's make this quick," you agree, pulling your wrist free from Micah's grasp.

There's an awkward pause, both of you staring at each other, as if you've both suddenly forgotten how to initiate sex. Micah then waves his hands about, and orders you to bend over against a nearby tree. "We ain't supposed to do this in camp, that was part of the agreement," you comment.

"This ain't in camp, it's in a forest, sweetheart," Micah corrects you. Well, he's not exactly wrong...

You roll your eyes and let out a huff, but prop your rifle up against a tree. Your skirts are bunched up to your hips, reaching beneath them to pull your undergarments down, letting them settle around your thighs; you then turn to question why Micah is stood there awkwardly.

"I was just enjoying the show," Micah replies with a shrug. He begins unfastening his pants as he approaches, palming at his cock with one hand, whilst the other dips between your legs to slide a finger over your slit.

Micah slides his fingers over you a few times, before slipping a digit in, slowly working his finger in and out. His head dips down to catch your lips, lightly kissing you, enjoying the soft whimpers you make against his lips. He doesn't bother sliding another finger in, and moves his hand away to nudge you against the tree.

Your hands rest on the trunk, and you peer over your shoulder to watch as Micah holds your skirt up around your hips, his other hand slicking his cock against your folds. He's clearly in a rush as he doesn't bother teasing you for long, instead, slipping his cock in and slowly sheathing himself inside you.

Micah mutters something under his breath as he grips onto your hips, and pulls you back onto his cock, pushing himself as deep as he can go. He holds himself there as he lets out a long, deep groan, followed by starting his thrusts, jumping straight into a quick pace. You feel something tap against your foot, peering down to see Micah tapping at you; you know what he wants, so you spread your legs wider, arching your back, gripping onto the tree trunk for support.

This needs to be quick. You dip your hand down between your legs, rubbing at your clit, building your orgasm with Micah's help. He's quieter than usual, the sound of skin against skin filling the air, and hopefully not echoing all the way back to camp.

A hand weaves its way around your waist, and Micah pulls you upright, your back pressed to his chest. He speaks in a deep, husk voice, almost growling into your ear. "I am a little disappointed that you ain't wearing my fancy lingerie, means I'll have to wait to cut it off you," he comments, still attempting to thrust into you, despite the awkward position.

"You ain't even got your knife on you," you say with a laugh. Your laughter is cut short as Micah moves his hand to your neck, gripping oh-so-perfectly, just how you like it.

"I'd use my bare hands, but I can be patient, I'll wait," he says with a soft shrug.

Micah manages to make do, bucking up into you, your hand still rubbing your clit. His thumb removes itself from your neck, only to be replaced with his lips, sucking and kissing your skin so hard that you know it's going to leave marks. You mutter his name, and Micah pleasantly hums as a reply. "Come on, sweetheart," he urges, picking up the pace, and chuckling at his pun.

Your back may be hurting, but you roll your head against Micah's shoulder, moaning away. Only your moans are cut short as you suddenly orgasm, tightening around Micah's length. He quickly removes himself from you, almost shoving you out of the way as he pulls out, spilling himself over the forest floor. "Hell," Micah mutters under his breath, finishing up, and then tucking himself away.

"Pretty," Micah comments as he lightly slaps your ass, just as you're pulling your undergarments back up.

"I know," you smugly reply, and Micah giggles at your comment. He reaches in his back pocket, fishing out a packet of cigarettes, and offers you one. Rather than using one of his matches, you light yours on the end of Micah's, blowing smoke in his face on your first exhale.

"Petty," Micah grumbles, "c'mon, I'm sure your shift has finished by now."

"You can walk ahead, Micah. I ain't risking being seen wandering into camp with you."

"Alright, suit yourself," he shrugs, turning heel and heading back to camp.

You watch him go, wandering off into the darkness, disappearing into the trees, the light from his cigarette eventually fading black. It's too dark out here to check your pocket watch, but after a handful of minutes, you finish off your smoke, and assume it's time to wake the next person up for guard duty.

The walk back to camp is quiet, as always, and for some reason, you're looking out for Micah as you enter camp. He's nowhere to be seen, probably wandered off down the shoreline, and you can't help but scold yourself for being so curious as to his whereabouts.

You shake your head, trailing over to your tent after passing the rifle over to the next camp member on watch, and soon fall asleep, despite the stinging sensation on your neck. 

[yyxy-seph]

FF7 DEBATE CLUB : Part 1

Disclaimer: This was inspired by my “WHAT TYPE OF STUDENTS WOULD THE FFVII CHARACTERS BE IN SCHOOL??” Posts. For more context, you can go read those if you like! I hope you all enjoy and my inbox is always open! Feel free to request imagines and tell me your thoughts on things.

I hope you enjoy @birdblacksocialclub !! :)

_____________

The defensive members gradually collected in the empty, dry classroom that’d soon feature all types of dilly-dallying and possible throat-clutching arguments. The first attendant was a young and drowsy Sephiroth. He remained punctual with every meeting and never failed at being the first to enter the room. A quality Genesis truly despised, as he felt HE was the main event and Seph’s early-bird tendencies were outshining his presence. Thus, it was another reason for Sephiroth to stay on his game.

Non-Ironically, Genesis made his appearance with a raised chin and firm shoulders, the usual, confident stance.

“Well, hello there.” He began.

“Genesis...” Seph returned the greeting.

“It’s unfortunate that you’re here first, like always, but If it’s the Goddess’s will, I’ll live with it.”

“As you should.”

Genesis’s eyebrow twitched in slight irritation but he carried on, seating himself behind Sephiroth.

A tensioned silence resonated in the room for a while.

“Hmm, you’re quite soundless today.” Gen finally spoke again.

“Just as you are loveless.”

A tiny smirk flared from the red-head’s lips.

“You know me too well. It seems you’ve figured I’ve picked the topic for today’s discussion, hmm?”

“Again, the topic is not up to you. It’s up to our instructor. And Genesis, even a deaf man would know you’re up to no good.” He spoke, throwing his silver locks behind his shoulder.

“Dammit. What did I tell you about that!” Genesis yelled, moving Sephiroth’s hair off of his desk. “I might just cut it and leave you bald for school the next morning.”

A chuckle fell from Seph’s lips.

The door creaked with an ear-splitting noise, signaling the arrival of their teacher. He settled his books on the dumbapple-colored desk. And with a clear of the throat, he said

“Genesis and Sephiroth...man, am I glad to see you two. You two are my fiercest competitors, keeping this club alive. Like really, I’d call for the Shinra helicopters if you two were to resign.”

Slightly concerned gazes held the boys’ faces.

“Hah, Just kidding! You should’ve saw your guys’ faces!”

Sephiroth spoke to relieve the weird situation.

“Yeah...anyway, Reno, I was just gonna say....I’m not really-“

Just then, Cloud Strife appeared; another fierce competitor.

“-feeling it today- you know what. Nevermind!”

Cloud sat two seats away from Sephiroth in the same row.

Best believe, the Nibelheim boys are always going head-to-head in Debate Club. Outside of club, they’re quite peaceful and social. But when school work has already worn them out for the day and there is added passion for the premise of their arguments, things get pretty tense.

“Good Afternoon, Cloud.”

“Not today, Sephiroth.” He replied, not even looking over at him.

Genesis leaned over his desk to whisper in Sephiroth’s ear.

“If he’s a puppet, you’re the ventriloquist.”

The silver boy rolled his eyes with an attractive smile. “Very well.”

“That’s the spirit!” Gen said.

Truth is, Genesis loves the drama that comes with Debate club. That’s why he’s the self-proclaimed drama king. He only wanted to hype Seph up so he could push past his drowsiness and argue with him and Cloud.

More students began filling up the room, but not too much. There we only like 12 members that engaged in this weekly mess.

Zack, Angeal, and Aerith snuck in as well to get a taste of the tea for today.

Zack is actually in a language club. It was an impulse decision for what he described as “broadening his horizons”. He said it’d probably be a good thing for him to learn French in case of a future mission he’d have in his dream spot as a first-class SOLDIER.

Angeal was also in a Spanish learning club. And as expected, he exceeds at it. His intermediate level and sexy accent grabs everybody’s heart in a way they’ve never felt before. No, seriously, people have swooned and fainted before. But he joins occasionally to save himself from the after school bickering.

And in Aerith’s case, Yoga club was cancelled for the day so she just decided to join and sit with her friends.

Their (somehow hired) teacher Reno began class promptly.

“Alright, everybody. I have a gratifying topic for you all today. It’s so temper-inducing that your brain won’t be able to handle it.”

“My brain can’t take this shit as it is”. Cloud mumbled under his breath, earning a few laughs.

“What was that, Mr. Stife??” he questioned furiously.

“I see you’re living up to your last name. Save it for the subject!”

He carried on.

“The subject is-“

“I have the PERFECT topic!” Genesis interrupted.

“I- did I ask for your input, Genesis??”

The drama king fluttered his eyelashes. “No, yet you always receive it, don’t you?”

Reno sighed. “Look, is it LOVELESS again?

“No.”

“Let’s hear it then.”

“Is Vincent Valentine, the former Turk, a hero or an Incompetent-

“Alright, we’ll have none of that. No shaming of the turks is permitted.” Reno cut him off.

“Anyways, my topic was “Should Shinra continue to experiment on future SOLDIERs to give them superhuman abilities or should they train them as natural human beings?””

“Sounds like a good topic to me.” Cloud responded.

“Same,” Angeal joined in “This seems like a topic where I won’t have too much trouble trying to pull these three from each other’s throats.

“Good, before we begin, don’t forget the rules! All weapons and devices should be in the weapon closet which I see most of you HAVEN’T DONE!”

At the mention of the said closet, everybody directed their attention to it. It had various scratches and dents, complimenting it’s dusty tone. And how could we forget the sizable hole on top of it. It emerged the moment Sephiroth tried shoving his masamune in the closet. Yeah, never again.

Everyone exited their desks, one by one, placing their weapons in the closet.

“Hey, what about your tasing rod, Reno?” Zack asked.

“I’m the teacher. I can do as I please, thank you.” He answered, classically.

“And don’t forget, we need an equal amount of girls and boys on each side. Too much testosterone on one side can cause hands being thrown as we’ve seen from previous experiences.”

“Umm I know I’m not really in this club and all but us girls can equally throw hands just for the fact that there are NO female SOLDIERs.” Aerith added.

“Fair point. You must join this conversation.” Sephiroth agreed.

“That’s my girl!” Zack praised while giving his girlfriend a quick peck on the cheek.

Reno let each of the students pick a side and then he split them into two groups.

“Everybody ready??”

“Yes!”

To Be Continued...

[whoistheasshole]

Why do I get yelled at when other people behave like dillweeds?

Anonymous asks: what to do when people vent their anger on me. is it because i am the quiet one in the family or maybe i am the easy target???? cause they did that to me instead of calling out the one who creates the problem

Hi there,

I am not sure if you mean „complain to me about other people/family members“ only or „lash out at me when they are angry at somebody else“ also. Therefore I will try to cover several bases.

Generally, venting can serve a social function where you go to a third party to blow off steam and come back to the original offender more level-headed and constructive. In this way it can be a healthy tool of de-escalation – instead of having a hot-headed debate and just riling each other up, you talk to somebody else to work through the problem and come back with some fresh ideas.

If you vent in this way, you will get a better understanding if you were overreacting or should stand your ground. It can be necessary support to hold firm when you are in fact right.

Of course, all this counts on the fact the everybody involved is a willing participant.

If somebody vents excessively, without the consent of the target or worst, blows up at somebody else because they cannot blow up at the original offender, the venter may still feel relief, but the ventee is drawing the short end of the social stick, so to speak.

It sounds like you are in the latter scenario.

As to the why – I don’t know where it originated, but there’s this story about the boss yelling at the male employee, the employee coming home and yelling at his wife, the wife yelling at the kid and the kid yelling at the dog. The dog then probably gets a stress ulcer and starts chewing up shoes. As this short, though heteronormative, image shows: Everybody is finding somebody else with less power to vent their anger that they are not able to direct back at the aggressor. In real life, it is not always that simple because human connections and power structures are complex (and not like a white US TV commercial from the 50s), but the general dynamic holds true: If people are not able or willing to re-create their equilibrium by fighting right back at the (verbal) attacker, they will find other means to do so. The means do not have to be interpersonal – a lot of people are internalizers and turn the stress inward, getting the aforementioned stress illnesses instead. Or they try to cope with the situation and turn to an advice column. Just as an example. But generally, if you have a group of people–friends, hobby groups, work, family–unwritten social dynamics will always be at play that direct, among other things, who dares talk back to whom, who will stand by and look, who will try to get out of the line of fire, who tends to get blamed and so forth.

Long story short: Through the unique mix of power structures and personalities in your family, you are where you are now. You identified that you would like it to change and need some ammunition to do so. Fortunately, I do have some strategies for you.

First: If there are no safety issues at play, direct is always best. That doesn’t mean spontaneous. You can rehearse what you want to say or talk through it with friends or alone in front of a mirror–rehearsal can be crucial. But it’s absolutely okay and within your power (again, if safe) to speak up about your boundaries and needs. Find a short script that feels right and appropriate for the situation and tell the venter. You might want different scripts for when they are ready to have their next feelings barf versus talking to them in a quiet minute to re-set the dynamic. E.g. „Hey X, I realize Y topic is weighing heavily on you right now, but I’m kind of at my limit talking it through, so I’d like to focus on other topics. I hope you work it out!“

The last part is your friend, by the way, redirecting them to action. It can be used beautifully with incorrigible venters to make it very boring/unhelpful to talk to you. You have to be persistent though, these kind of dynamics are not changed in a day.

„That sounds tough, well I hope you work it out!“ / „Oh. What are you going to do about it?“ / „I see. What do you plan on doing now?“ / „I see that you are quite upset right now so I will give you some space. Feel better!“ and move away. (Read the last one from a Captain Akward commenter and I am still in love.)

What you want to do is:

1) Make it boring. Ever heard that active listening is important? Not here. Here you want to be the least enthused and most unhelpful listener that has ever graced the earth. Short words are your friend, said in a completely neutral tone: „Oh.“ / „I see.“ / „Hu.“ / „Hm.“ If you need some more pointers, look up „Grey rock method“. Fiddle with your phone, get up to do the laundry, have something at the ready that you need to start doing now which means you need to move physically away/make some loud noise. Potentially something that the other person approves of, or at least has no good reason to argue back against. „That sounds tough. I wish I could help, but I really need to get started on my applications. Catch you later!“

2) Never under any circumstances offer your opinion on the situation and especially not on what the other person should do. They might try to make you solve their problems or alternatively, shoot everything down that you suggest, which is also frustrating. If you have the urge to say something or are unsure how to continue the conversation without saying what you think, try silence. Few things are more effective in a conversation than silence. Maybe a small „Hmm“ or other thinking noises, if you must. If asked directly, you can also use „That’s a tough one, no idea off the top of my head.“ / „Honestly, I don’t know. What do you think?“ / „Beats me.“ You can say it sympathetically and remorsefully, but the more monosyllabic and flat you can be, the better.

3) Redirect them to figure it out themselves. See above: „Oh. What are you going to do about it?“ / „I see. What do you plan on doing now?“ It doesn’t mean they ever will. They might actually leave in a huff, but that’s a success. We cannot make other people do things, we can only control what we do ourselves. And if Dr. Vent 3000 bothers somebody else next time, well, success. Some people will have the gall to say „Well, you are not very helpful today.“ Take it as a badge of honor, don’t try to convince them otherwise, you are the grey rock. „Yeah, I’m not creative today.“ / „I’m all out of ideas.“ *shrug*

Family dynamics can make this list of strategies a little less helpful because you are in close quarters more often (I assume) and you cannot avoid the offender as easily, therefore definitely weigh how direct you can be with the person. If you don’t expect serious repercussions, it’s fine to say „Hey, I’m not involved with this and don’t want to be.“ / „Sounds like you need to sort this out with X.“  /„I don’t want to be in the middle of this, please take it up with X.“ / „Frankly, I don’t enjoy these conversations. What about topic change?“ and the all time classics of telling them about other things you need to do now and leaving.

When people put us in a weird position, the anger we feel at the mistreatment can make us blind to the options that are actually at our disposal. It is possible that you can only use few things of what I suggested, but make sure to stop and make an inventory of things that you can do because they are in your power. Feeling stuck and powerless can be the worst thing about this kind of situation and the antidote is identifying what you can do.

P.S.: Don’t get drawn into the losing battle of making the original offender behave (the person who upset the venter). It doesn’t sound like you’re the parent/authority figure in this scenario, so all you need to do is treat people who deserve it kindly and state your own boundaries when they are crossed.

[cozy-the-overlord]

Okay, so yesterday when I woke up the first thing I saw was this post from @lokistan, which as you can see from my reblog made me immediately think of “gold rush” by Taylor Swift. It made me realize that out of all the folklore/evermore songs I’ve annotated and analyzed, I had yet to do “gold rush.” So I decided to remedy that immediately (I actually started writing this yesterday, but then my computer glitched and I lost all my work and I was too mad to start over again right away). And yes, I am aware that I just spent the last two hours of my life on something that probably no one will read, but I don’t care-- I love doing stuff like this so much. Here’s my interpretation of “gold rush”!

“gold rush” is the third track off of Taylor Swift’s ninth studio album evermore. It immediately stands out from the rest of the album sonically due to its ethereal production and Taylor’s lilting, dreamlike vocals. This is fitting as Taylor described this song as taking place “inside a single daydream where you get lost in thought for a minute and then snap out of it" (x). The daydream in question revolves around a person the narrator comes across and is so enchanted by that she begins to picture a life with them, while still being very aware that such a life can never really exist.

Gleaming, twinkling

Eyes like sinking

Ships on waters

So inviting, I almost jump in

The opening to the song also serves as the opening to the daydream with an immediate departure from reality—the narrator sees this person as a magical thing, thinking of sparkling, shining imagery in regard to them. The “gleaming, twinkling” serves a double purpose: gleaming inspires thoughts of shining metal such as gold, which makes sense as this is the person around whom a gold rush is about to begin, while twinkling evokes images of stars and stardom (twinkle twinkle little star anyone?), which serves to show that this person is both incredibly popular and totally out of reach.

In the second two lines, Taylor plays with enjambment, a poetic device in which the sentence continues even after the line break, which can be utilized to give the sentence a double meaning. “Eyes like sinking” sounds like a version of the common love song trope of being so fascinated with the beauty of your lover’s eyes that you could drown in them (Taylor herself has used this trope many times before, including in reputation’s “Gorgeous”: “ocean blue eyes, looking in mine, I feel like I might sink and drown and die”). This continues to show that this person is incredibly captivating and that the narrator especially is entranced by them.

However, the song continues so that the full sentence reads “eyes like sinking ships on waters,” which completely changes the image. A sinking ship is something that’s irrevocably doomed, something that you need to escape from in order to save your life. By using enjambment in this way, Taylor gives us an image of this person while simultaneously giving insight into the narrator’s internal struggle: this person is captivating, fascinating, enchanting and the narrator is undeniably drawn to them, but she also realizes that trying be with this person would not only never work, but would probably hurt her more in the long run. In other words, she’d go down with their ship. Even so, she still finds this churning water inviting, so much so that she almost jumps in—almost, because she does know better.

But I don’t like a gold rush, gold rush

I don’t like anticipating my face in a red flush

I don’t like that anyone would die to feel your touch

Everybody wants you

Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you

In the chorus, we have the lilting vocals and ethereal strings of the opening replaced with a conversational tone and a firm backbeat. While the opening was the daydream, the chorus is something closer to reality as the narrator giving her reasons for not wanting to get involved with this person.

The main reason is that she doesn’t like a gold rush, which she repeats several times throughout. A gold rush occurs when gold is discovered somewhere, resulting in a horde of people rushing to the site hoping to stake a claim and get rich. However, there’s never enough gold to go around, and with the perilous journey to the gold mines and the amount that the miners have to give up to get there (in the California Gold Rush of 1849, people on the east coast of the United States were leaving behind their entire lives to either travel across the country by wagon or to sail around the tip of South America in order to get to California for a chance at some gold), people actually tend to end up losing far more than they gain.

To the narrator, this person is the recently discovered gold. They’re gleaming and rare, and now everyone is in a mad scramble to get a piece of them. She realizes that she is not the only one who is desperate to be with this person, and that chances are she’d be one of the miners who loses everything should she try to go after them. She wouldn’t be in control—she’d only be “anticipating my face in a red flush,” anticipating embarrassment, getting flustered over a person she could never have.

Walk past, quick brush

I don’t like slow motion double vision in a rose blush

I don’t like that falling feels like flying ‘til the bone crush

Everybody wants you

But I don’t like a gold rush

The second part of the chorus imagines the overwhelming nature of any relationship she would have with this person. She emphasizes how just a quick brush with this person is enough to mess with her abilities to comprehend reality: being with this person would cause “slow motion double vision” and make her think that “falling feels like flying” until she hits the ground and the bones crush (a visceral image). She ends the chorus with an adamant “I don’t like a gold rush.” However, her daydream is far from over.

What must it be like to grow up that beautiful?

With your hair falling into place like dominoes

I see me padding cross your wooden floors

With my Eagles t-shirt hanging from the door

The lilting vocals are back as the narrator once again allows herself to ignore the elephant in the room and just focus on how entrancing this individual is. She goes as far to imagine a life with this person, where there’s a sense of intimacy and familiarity (also, apparently there’s some debate about whether the “Eagles t-shirt” references the band The Eagles or the Philadelphia football team? It doesn’t really matter, as the point of the line is to show that she’s imagining a place with this person where she feels at home and safe with them, but for the record I assumed it was the football team because Taylor’s from Pennsylvania).

At dinner parties

I’ll call you out on your contrarian shit

And the coastal town

We wandered round had never seen

A love as pure as it

And then it fades into the gray of my day-old tea

Cause it could never be

She continues to imagine a life with this person, focusing (as Taylor does best) on the simple moments. “Contrarian” describes a person who goes against popular opinion often just for the sake of going against popular opinion, and the narrator imagines a level of closeness with this person where she could call them out on it. She also conjures up grander memories—visiting a coastal town where their love is the purest thing within it. However, she seems to wake up from this daydream before returning to the reality-steeped chorus when she allows it to “fade into the gray of my day-old tea”—a image that certainly contrasts with the gleaming, twinkling gold of the person she’s dreaming about. I especially love that she specifies that the tea is not just gray, but day-old—it shows how her life is mundane and emotionless. The tea’s gone cold and she hasn’t drank it yet, because she’s wistfully dreaming about something else.

Because the chorus is exactly the same as the first, we’re going to skip to the next verse.

What must it be like to grow up that beautiful?

With your hair falling into place like dominoes

My mind turns your life into folklore

I can’t dare to dream about you anymore

Again, she’s allowing herself to fall into this daydream, but there’s a heightened sort of awareness this time. Instead of imagining an intimate, peaceful relationship, the narrator admits that it’s all in her head—she’s turning his life into folklore. Folklore, besides being the name of evermore’s sister album, also refers to “the traditional beliefs, legends, and customs, current among the common people” (“folklore, n. 1.” OED online), stories that are often passed down orally through generations and change slightly with each retelling. She’s realizing that her dreams about this person are nothing more than stories that she’s changing in order to live vicariously through them. Here, she admits that it’s useless to continue doing so: “I can’t dare to dream about you anymore.”

At dinner parties

I won’t call you out on your contrarian shit

And the coastal town

We never found, will never see

A love as pure as it

And it fades into the gray of my day-old tea

Cause it will never be

Here we have the same daydream as before, only modified to fit reality. She’s not going to call this person out on anything, because they don’t have that level of familiarity. They’ll never find this magical coastal town, and both they and it will never see this pure love because it doesn’t exist. This time, when the daydream fades into the gray of her day-old tea, it’s not with the wistful “it could never be,” but with a firm “it will never be.”

Gleaming, twinkling

Eyes like sinking

Ships on waters

So inviting, I almost jump in

We end where we begin, with the reminder that she could jump into this beautiful disaster, that she almost does, but she stops herself because she realizes it will never work out the way she wants to—she’ll only end up hurting herself. She spares herself from the gold rush.

[ultrahpfan5blog]

Watching Snyderverse Part 3 - Zack Snyder’s Justice League

After BvS, I was honestly not particularly looking forward to Justice League. For me, it was obvious that Snyder’s versions of these characters and his overall doom and gloom approach was not something I was particularly enjoying despite some promising elements in both MoS and BvS. Then we saw exactly how JL production went down. Despite the happy face they tried to paint, the fact that there was going to be a 2 hour mandate, the fact that Whedon basically reshot a bunch of Snyder’s film with the film being a mishmash of two directors who couldn’t be any more different in their sensibilities, and that that the actors, specifically Ben Affleck, looked like they couldn’t wait to be done with this movie and this role, made it obvious that the movie wasn’t going to turn out well. So my expectations were rock bottom for the theatrical cut. As it happens, that was a good thing. The theatrical cut of JL is a thoroughly unremarkable movie. I don’t abhor it but it is so obviously a patchwork job and a studio mandated film that there is no passion or vision in the movie at all. I mean, I didn’t like BvS much at all, but there was a vision there. Theatrical cut of JL seemed like a film that felt like WB just felt they had to put out there and then move on. And then years later, we get Zack Snyder’s full version of Justice League. I watched it in one sitting, which was maybe a mistake because it is heavy viewing for 4 hours. Without a doubt it is a better movie than the theatrical cut. Its a little tough to judge this film because this is no way a movie that would have been released theatrically. But its also impossible to judge on what it may have been if it was edited down to a 3 hour length. So best to just judge it on its own merits.

Firstly, the positives. This is definitely a more coherent and clear movie. The plot is not rushed and every sequence, be it a character moment or an action sequence, is fully realized without any weird edits. The film does have some more humor than the previous two Snyder films. Mainly courtesy of Ezra Miller and Jeremy Irons. And the humor is not awkward like in the theatrical cut. Ezra Miller in particular benefits from that because some of his cringey lines from the theatrical edition are cut. The special effects are largely impressive and definitely an improvement over the theatrical edition. On a character level, definitely Cyborg gets the most benefit out of all the characters. As we get a full and thorough backstory for him. We get insight into his relationship with both his parents. Steppenwolf also gets significantly more screen time and his motivations are definitely more clearly defined in the movie than in the theatrical. Miller and Momoa also get some more scenes to flesh out their individual characters. What does surprise me is that the film contains a lot of scenes which are essentially just alternate versions of scenes from the theatrical cut. The film isn’t radically different from the theatrical version, but the scenes included in this version feel a little more real. Like a scene with the entire League discussing Superman’s return in the theatrical cut made it obvious that the actors weren’t in the same room together, whereas the original scene in this movie has them clearly in the same physical space. The Superman scenes are also infinitely better without the CGI upper lip. Thankfully, Snyder doesn’t do what he did with the previous two movies and gives some breathing room between action sequences. Probably a bit too much time, but that’s better than no time at all. the tunnel action sequence and the climax set piece is definitely pretty cool. Flash actually having an active role in the climax was a big improvement. My favorite action sequence is still the Superman vs the League because it shows just how powerful Superman can be. Also, the color palette is a lot more consistent and better than the weird bright and red color palette that is used in the theatrical cut.

When it comes down to the performances from the cast, nobody really stands out. They are all fine, but unlike in BvS, where Affleck stood out. Everybody here is just motoring along. In the theatrical cut, Affleck looked completely checked out. I was hoping the original cut would beef up his performance. While it is slightly better, he’s still just a bit too restrained in the role and doesn’t leave the type of impression he left in BvS. Everyone is at their most dour self. Gal Gadot’s WW is more serious and therefore does not get to show her more radiant side in Patty Jenkins’ movies, Momoa is also similarly more dour and serious and not quite as fun as he was in Aquaman. Ray Fisher is decent but its a role that requires him to be very robotic for large chunks of the film. So its a little difficult to assess his performance. Cavill is in far too little of the movie to give much of a performance. He’s perfectly fine in the handful of scenes he has. Miller is probably the best of the lot, even though he’s still more Peter Parker than Barry Allen. Some of the supporting cast actually fare a little better. Irons is a delight whenever he’s on screen and Affleck is also at his best when they have scenes together. That dynamic works. Joe Morton is surprisingly affecting as Silas Stone, as is Billy Crudup in his brief scenes as Henry Allen. Its always nice to see more of Willem Dafoe, Diane Lane, Connie Nielsen, and JK Simmons. Simmons as Gordon was great casting and its a pity we won’t get to see more of him in that role. Amber Heard for some perplexing reason has a British accent in this film as Mera. Given Dafoe and Momoa both speak in their normal voices, that must have been a choice. It did feel a bit funny. Jared Leto and Jesse Eisenberg are back as Joker and Lex and neither of them particularly improve on their performances. I mean, they have a scene each so its no harm done, but the Joker scene particularly drags on for too long. Amy Adams has a small role and she does manage to make to get some emotion out of a handful of scenes.

The film has more than its fair share of issues. Firstly, it is just way, way too long. The pacing is glacially slow at times. And I mean that in the most literal manner. There is so much slow mo in this movie, its crazy. I swear, if you removed the slow motion, you might lose 20 minutes of the run time. Snyder is clearly in desperate need of an editor here. The film has the exact opposite problem of the theatrical cut. Whereas in the theatrical cut, it always felt that every scene was just edited a little too short, in this movie there are scenes that are going on for far too long. There are some very strange edits. Like an entire scene where women in the village are singing hyms when Arthur leaves and smelling his clothes. There is a meet cute between Iris and Barry which is completely unnecessary and is frankly slightly creepy where Barry is caressing her face while she is in the process of being thrown out of her car. Some music choices in these scenes are also a little bizarre. Everything involving the Martian Manhunter is not necessary. I mean, his involvement in a crucial Martha and Lois scene actually takes away from the emotion of that moment. And then he has a very tacked on final scene which is kind of awkward. The Knightmare scene also drags for a bit too long, especially given they are supposed to be in danger while being out in the open. We still have no more clarity as to why Bruce is having these visions. The slow pace does make things boring at times as well. While I am glad that Cyborg’s backstory gets beefed up, there is a bit too much of Cyborg being angry at his father. After a while, it gets monotonous. The film takes too long to get the team together and the first JL action sequence doesn’t happen until over 2 hours into the movie. The film should have spent a bit more time with the team interacting with one another. That’s what made the Avengers movies work and some of the best parts of this movie are also the team together. There are some Snyder tone deaf moments as per usual. While WW’s entry action sequence is very cool, I do find it funny that they have her comforting a girl and the girl wanting to be just like her after she basically obliterates the terrorist into dust. Given her abilities shown in that sequence, there is no reason she wouldn’t have been able to disable him. But instead she just obliterates him. Its all very Snyder. I do also have to wonder about that sequence. I still don’t get exactly how terrorists feel that blowing up a few city blocks will bring down the modern age. I thought this was a weird Whedon thing but it turns out to be a weird Snyder thing. Also, for all the hype about the black suit Superman, its really nothing more than an aesthetic choice for no rhyme or reason. I honestly prefer the Blue and Red if the black suit doesn’t have a point, like the restorative factor from the comics. Also, for all the blame people put on Whedon about the skimpy outfits on Amazons and the weird backside shots of WW, turns out they were all Snyder. There are a few select things that the Whedon cut did slightly better. For example, there is no real major debate or conflict within the team other than minor objections from Arthur over the implications of using the mother box to bring back Superman. Also, a sequence in the theatrical cut where Bruce admits that Clark was more human that he was, is a better version of a similar scene in this movie. Also, while not perfectly executed, the theatrical cut did acknowledge that Bruce was a human fighting amongst superpowered individuals. Also, most importantly, while Steppenwolf is an improvement over the theatrical cut, this is still a movie where the plot involves a villain trying to find three boxes. Steppenwolf is still pretty boring and the main story is not interesting at all. The Darkseid angle of this story is also overhyped since he’s barely in the film. 

In the end, it feels that there is a pretty decent 3 hour movie hidden in an ok but dragged out 4 hour film. I’m glad the Snyder fans got to see it. I have had my issues with Snyder’s vision. While I feel he has grand ambitions and a sense of scale and scope, he hasn’t really got the sense of story and script to really make it work to a degree where the audience at large would appreciate it. I have seen his old storyboards and read his recent interviews about what he was going to do. It sounds very grand and very cool, but with a big potential of being a gigantic mess. Who knows what will happen in the future but at least it right now seems that they are moving on from Snyder’s vision. For this film, I am right now landing at about a 6/10, which is the highest mark out of all the Snyder DC movies. I’ve only watched it once and watching it again is a big endeavor so I won’t do it anytime soon, but maybe revisiting it will make me either like it more or less.

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

02. Don’t Trust Adults

Currently, I’m thinking that I want to write these as standalone pieces, even though, I’m keeping with the same AU Grace and Simon story. Takes place in the instance that they never got on the train, but crossed paths and became friends. But, for the sake of anyone who wants to view it as a series, I’ll number them. 3125 words TW: child neglect, abuse, mentions of child death

Previous 

She was 12. The past couple of years had been easier than all 10 preceding them, but she wasn’t quite aware enough to credit that to her friendship with Simon Laurent. To be perfectly honest, she was a very self centered child and that didn’t magically change when she found herself a friend at the age of 10. In fact, Simon’s attention made her a little more sure of herself. She had been working off of the idea that she was never good enough, even though she found it hard to find flaws in herself. 

She would look into the mirror and think, “She’s beautiful. She’s a goddess. how are people not seeing that??” She would look at the world and see flowing blond hair, fair skin, rosy cheeks and this was the height of all beauty. This was the height of all acceptance. It was meh, for her. She would look in the mirror. THIS is the height of all beauty. She kept a mirror on her at all times and in instances where she might be challenged or criticized, she would take a look at herself and remember. They’re just jealous. Look at you, and look at them. She would quickly get over any rudeness, alienation, or discrimination, because those people just wanted to be her, and you weren’t going to convince her of any other alternative.

Then, came along Simon. He was appealing in this "looks aren't his main concern, but he's got a few nice features" sort of way, and he always seemed to need to have his hands doing something.

The first time she saw him, when they were 10, she spent several minutes weighing out what she was seeing in front of her. A boy, her age or in her age range, a nerd? He had a backpack with a bunch of patches and pins on it - stuff that she wasn’t too familiar with, but TV and stuff would indicate were nerdy things. She had never met a real nerd, that she could remember, so that part was debatable. He wasn’t very wealthy. That was evident from the state of his pants that were ripped at one of the knees and clearly not in a fashionable way - he’d simply worn them out, and also his shoes... which WEREN’T shoes... they were sandals... and he had socks on with them... so... he had no fashion sense, EITHER, and apparently neither did whatever adult was responsible for him. If there WAS an adult responsible for him. 

It was nighttime. Her instructor had gone for a little while to finish up some things before the shops closed at 7 or 8, so it was nighttime, and this kid her age was running into this building from a gang of bullies, by himself, in the condition that he was in. There probably wasn’t an adult that cared, or realized... (in that case, probably didn’t care) because if you cared, you’d realized that your kid was a complete mess. 

And this kid was a complete mess. 

But... he seemed innocent, and he seemed nice. Grace may have been self centered, but she knew that nice kids weren’t easy to come across. After she sent the kid on his way, she thought that was that.

Whenever he came back the next night, she was convinced: This is a street kid. There are no parents. There are no adults. That must be really fun and cool! She demanded that her driver bring him home, and whenever the car stopped, she began to get out, too.

Simon seemed nervous to have her getting out of the car at his house, but what was he going to do? Argue with her? She’d just given him a ride home. He KNEW he should have gotten her to drop him off a few blocks away and pretended to go into some other house! “You don’t have to get out,” he said, anxiously. 

“Are you kidding? I have to see the adults that let you stay out past dark by yourself, and walk out of the house like that.” She circled a finger up and down his form and he blushed, embarrassed. But also... he couldn’t show his adults to her. They were always in their own spaces and he was always shut out of said spaces. She laughed and mumbled in singsong tone, “Socks and sandals.” He knew he was turning even redder and he was grateful it was dark out, though the moon did offer some light and the rest was provided by the open garage, where his dad was working.

“Dad, this is Grace. She gave me a ride home...” Simon said, shuffling his feet and looking at the ground with his hands pulling his backpack strings. 

The palest man that Grace had ever seen in her life, with blonder than blond hair, and blond flesh - if that was a thing and eyebrows and arm hairs, and just all blond colored features turned to look at her. She stepped back, but stepped on Simon’s toe and leapt forward apologetically, then reflexively extended her hand, “Grace Monroe of the Monroe Square Monroes!” She said. He had on work gloves, which he removed to shake her hand and offered a smile. It was a smile, she was sure of it, but his pale features made it a little hard for her to tell and she also thought it looked sad. 

But, his voice was friendly. He said, “Well, I never thought I’d see the day that a Monroe would be in here...” But he quickly became worried and crossed his arms over his chest, “Simon, what did you do?” He asked.

“I didn’t do anything!” Simon snapped. He had gotten into several fights in the past few weeks (none he’d started) and gotten enraged a few times and “vandalized” some things, so NOW, everybody always suspected that he did something.

“We’re friends!” Grace cheered, clapping her hands together, happy to be able to make such an announcement, whether or not it was true. This situation seemed to need some type of... nice girl talk. 

Mr. Laurent stared at her for a moment and lowered his arms. “Friends?” He didn’t say, “Simon doesn’t have any friends,” but Simon felt like he heard the statement as clearly as if he had. He shrank a little, hoping that Grace couldn’t hear it too. Instead, the man offered a smile and said, “Well, nice to meet you, Grace Monroe. Simon can tell you that I’m working on something and can’t afford too many breaks, but you’re welcome to anything in the house. You kids have fun.”

She looked confused. “I’m going home. It’s almost 10. We were just dropping Simon off because he was out...” But the man didn’t respond, as he put his work gloves back on and got back to his project.

Simon offered, “He’s kinda in the zone.”

“What about your mom?” Grace asked, excitedly. She’d never met a friend’s parents before and it was kinda interesting how different these were than her own! Her parents would NEVER be this chill about her coming home late from an unplanned appointment or event. Her driver was likely checking in with them right now, hopefully saying that there was unexpected traffic.

Simon looked incredibly sad, pulled out a luggage tag, attached to, but tucked into, his backpack of a family portrait and said, “This is her. But, she doesn’t like to be bothered. She’s probably reading or passed out. She’s my mom, but she doesn’t really do mom stuff anymore. Something happened and she’s... She has something where she’s really sad and has to try to get doctors to make her less sad, but it hasn’t worked yet, so she just stays in her room.”

Grace got sad. Uncomfortably so. She tried to change the subject and pointed to a little girl sitting in the photo, “Well, where’s this little cute thing? With a nanny, while your mom is sad-sick?” Simon’s eyebrows pushed closely together and he stared at the photo. He didn’t really talk about this. He didn’t like to, and his parents had stopped trying to speak with him about it too. Anytime it came up, he usually got really angry and scared. He tried to catch his breath, forgetting that Grace was there for a moment, but still wanting to at least hold on to some type of control.

Grace felt bad because of his face and she was worried that he was about to yell at her and tell her to leave. He was making the kind of face that her dad made right before he stripped away every inch of confidence that she had in something that she thought she did right, and he’d let her know that she had not. She stepped back and quickly tried to diffuse it. “Sorry. Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. You’d have told me if you wanted me to know! I’m going to go. You have a good night, Simon.”

He looked up at her, and his face changed. It softened. It warmed up. His eyebrows evened out and a tiny smile fought to cross his lips. She sighed, a little bit relieved that the monster that she thought she’d woken up was gone and there was her new friend again. “You too, Grace,” he said. He tucked the tag into his bag, without looking at it, and went into the house, through a door in the garage. “Good night, Dad.” 

She looked at his super blond dad. He didn’t even seem to hear his son, but whenever she started walking away, the man said, “Good night, Young Lady!” Which... made her feel like maybe he’d purposefully not said it to Simon. She felt tears welling up in her eyes and she choked out another fake cheerful good night for the adult, because it was very rude not to reply to adults and if he was mean to his own son, she didn’t know how mean he might be to her if she insulted him.

After that night, whenever she brought him home, they just dropped him off, saw that he got inside, and left. After the recital, she wasn’t going to be having those practices anymore, though. She’d be back on a schedule at her home. She... wouldn’t see Simon again. 

The other girls went out for ice cream. They didn’t invite Grace. She was really upset about it, but whenever she heard Simon’s voice calling her name and turned to see that he had come out in, not only a complete pair of pants, but also actual shoes, she felt all of the rejection that was encasing itself around her heart just melt. She whispered, “Simon.” He smiled, a little startled and confused about whatever her tone of voice was, but he didn’t pay it too much attention and began to shower her with praise about the show. 

He admitted that he had to case the auditorium and find another way in, because he didn’t have a ticket, but that he had gotten in and had seen her entire performance. “You were the best out there!” he had said. Nobody ever told her that before. And even though it was true, in her mind, whenever Simon said it, it became a little bit more real. She felt validated and vindicated. Just like a game of Simon Says, but Simon is your friend and he knows what’s best... Not trying to make you look silly. She was gleaming... then it stopped. “What’s wrong?” 

“This is the last night that I’m gonna be here,” she said in the saddest voice that he’d ever heard come out of her. “I’m going to be at home tomorrow night and there won’t be another reason for me to be back in the city.” Simon’s face went through an array of emotions. His smile faded, then his mouth turned into a frown, then his lips quivered a bit and his eyes darkened and dampened. She was leaving? She wasn’t going to come back? He wasn’t going to see her again? She was gonna be gone... Just like... He lowered his head and blinked away tears. 

She felt her chest tighten again. “Maybe...” He looked up, hopeful and misty eyed, his face begging her for a solution to this pain she’d just inflicted on him, “Maybe we could find a way to see each other... closer to where I live? It’s far from you, but...” She shook her head, clenching her dress, “No. That’s stupid. And it’s unfair. You don’t have the means to come see me... But my parents will never let me come this far out without good reason...”

“I’ll do it!” Simon declared. “I’ll come to see you, sure.”

She couldn’t bear looking up at him, “How would you do that?”

“I’m...” He thought for a while, trying to even guess what would be possible for this, “Gonna learn the train schedule. I’ll figure out the route closest to you, and then hike the rest of the way there,” he said like it was some type of simple idea. And at 10, it seemed like one to her too. Because she looked up, in just as much excitement and smiled brightly. And that was all that Simon needed as fuel. Yes, he was going to make it work to see her smiling face. “Ummm... I can start learning tomorrow,” he said. 

“Okay, But... Do you wanna go get some ice cream with me before we take you home?” She had her dress clutched firmly in her gloved hands and hoped that he didn’t notice them, because she hated that portion of herself that did that whenever she was scared. Being scared was being lazy, and clutching her clothing to try to get over it was being weak.

“I don’t really have ice cream money,” Simon admitted, blushing in embarrassment. He had gone into his small savings just to get some decent pants and shoes, even though he got them thrift shop... they were outside of his budget. He was gonna buy himself a new figure to compose, but decided that Grace’s recital was more important, because she worked really hard and her parents couldn’t come. 

She laughed and waved a hand, “I’m inviting you, Simon. I’ve got you!” He smiled and nodded his head with a little affirmative grunt. I’ve got you. That mattered a lot to him that night. He wasn’t going to ever let it go, and two years later, he hadn’t.

.

They were 12. Grace was annoyed that she made the mistake of expressing interest in making the music she danced to, because NOW, she had to have hours of music theory, composition, and instrument practice added to her schedule, and that didn’t mean she got a “break” from dance. It only meant that she was fortifying her resume. She didn’t want to fortify her resume. She wanted to maybe watch one of those vids on the Internet, like Simon sometimes did to help him create a dragon out of household items, but like for her to create a really sick mix for her next audition... But, here she was, buried in research and scarce for free time.

Then, she heard her favorite sound in the world! Simon coming up the fire  escape stairs. He was the only person who ever used those, so she knew it was him every time. She put her work away in the drawer of her vanity, which she used as a desk, because she didn’t want a desk in her room, because it might just take up too much space, and she always had a lot of plans for the space in her room.

He climbed into the window and tossed his backpack down. She met him with a hug and asked him about what he was working on. Simon was her nice break from things. He would always be really excited to talk about the stuff that was going on in his life (his stories and models) and he always sprinkled in either something fun and competitive, or accolades for her as a person and her talents. It was perfect. She was able to get all of her praise, ignore all of her responsibilities for a bit, and most importantly, not delve too much into her private and personal matters. If she put the focus on Simon’s feelings and experiences, she didn’t have to share her own.

It wasn’t that she thought that Simon wouldn’t care about her problems, it was that she knew he would. Simon had enough problems without her burdening him with her stuff. 

Like, shortly after they met, his mom bought an emotional support cat, but she neglects it as much as she did him, so it wound up being Simon’s emotional support cat, only the cat is a TOTAL B word, and of all the things to call one... his mom decided on “Samantha.” Why on earth would anybody name a cat Samantha? Then again, the cat was a TOTAL Samantha. She knew she was smart and she was quite selfish and conceited. 

Grace told Simon that all cats are that way, but she only read that somewhere. Samantha was the only cat that she really ever gotten anywhere close to, and not often, because she didn’t go to Simon’s house. But, he always had things to say about her, and made a little comic “Tales of Samantha” that he’d post on the Internet. It had a huge following. Apparently, people who really loved cats also really loved talking a lot of trash about them and seeing them be terrible and funny at the same time.

Simon preferred talking about Samantha, grazing over his dad’s current model obsession, and occasionally venting about his mom. Like, how he stopped trying to make her dinner whenever he’d knocked on the door, as per house rules, and accidentally woke her up, causing her to have such an emotional explosion that his dad heard it from the garage and came inside to try to settle her down. Apparently, at some point in the explosion, she had confessed that it “Should have been” Simon... And he stopped at that point, in retelling the incident, and also in interacting with his mother at all. It wasn’t even that he disagreed with her. He just... Didn’t need to have to face that feeling if he thought that he didn’t HAVE to.

Grace had been exactly what he needed at the time, though. She always was. Her brown eyes were soft on him when he said out loud the most painful things that he ever thought he would have to say. She touched his shoulder, squeezed it and tousled his hair with the other hand, “It shouldn’t have been either of you. I’m sorry that your sister is gone, but I’m super glad that you aren’t. And it’s really unfortunate that it was her, but it shouldn’t have been you, either. And you constantly blaming yourself is bad enough, without additional help from the REAL villains in this tragedy. Who leaves their 10 year old and 4 year old unsupervised? It’s illegal in most states, and in those states where it’s legal, there is a time frame and she was still too young to feature in those. I read it, myself. The real problem with most of our lives is the adults.” Her face turned and she looked elsewhere for a moment, “They’re...”

“Not to be trusted,’ he completed the sentence. She smiled and looked at him again. He got it. Sometimes, it was like he was inside of her mind.

“Exactly.”

“But, they have all of the power. Even being a very independent 12 year old, if I do say so myself; there’s so many things that I can’t do without the approval or permission of one.”

“This world is rigged against us, Man.” 

“Speaking of things we read. I read that at 16, I can emancipate myself.” Simon looked thoughtfully ahead, “And I’m pretty sure that I’m gonna.” She smiled sadly and lowered her head. “You gonna come with?”

She laughed, “If I thought that there was anywhere in this world that my parents couldn’t find me and bring me back (And make me suffer for having the audacity to go), I’d have strapped on my sneaks and got to running a long time ago.” She rested her head on his shoulder. “But, you’ll still come see me, right?”

“I’m gonna leave my parents, Grace. Not you. I’d never leave you.” He wrapped an arm around her and she settled into his side, unaware that she had been so tense a moment before that needed confirmation. “We’re a team,” he whispered. She just smiled. We’re a team.

Next

[zakkura]

Pairing: Cloud x Zack, slight Aerith x Tifa. Warnings: None. Extra: Hybrid AU. EDIT: I forgot to add that I gathered inspiration by the many beautiful gifsets of ZackSoldiers, so please go and follow them!

ᵔᴥᵔ  🐾  ᵔᴥᵔ  🐾  ᵔᴥᵔ  🐾  ᵔᴥᵔ  🐾 ᵔᴥᵔ  🐾  ᵔᴥᵔ  🐾  ᵔᴥᵔ  🐾  ᵔᴥᵔ  🐾

Aerith couldn’t help but laugh at the scene before her.

Placing her basket of flowers on the kitchen counter; she put her hands on her hips as she watched her daft overgrown German Shepard hybrid wiggle his backside as he stared out of the window with noises of glee leaving his lips.

“I take it that pretty blonde is out for his afternoon stroll again?” she asked and Zack jumped slightly as he had clearly been far too into his own world.

“I didn’t think I’d be attracted to a Spaniel,” Zack grinned widely causing his owner to simply roll her eyes with a playful smile.

Aerith approached him with her hand held out, fingers delicately stroking his fluffy black ears which, in turn, made the hybrid push into her touch.

A loving gesture that Aerith had learned meant he had missed her whilst she was out trying to sell her bouquets.

“I don’t know why you haven’t invited him over yet,” Aerith snorted at the small blush on Zack’s tanned skin, “I thought you and Cloud were friends of some sort?”

“Well...I think he thinks that I’m stupid,” he cringed inwardly as their one of two interactions flashed in his mind, “I might have pretended to know about the book I saw him reading...I um...I just spoke utter crap,” he let out a pained whimper and hid his face in her shoulder.

“Aw Zacky,” Aerith cooed and held him tight, her cheek against the top of his head, “everyone behaves like a fool in front of the person they like; it’s natural,” she pulled back and blew a playful raspberry against his cheek.

“I tell you what,” she pulled Zack over to the couch to get a little more comfy, “I will go and invite his owner, Tifa, over and say to bring Cloud with her as a sort of friendly get together,” she giggled, “what do you think about that?” she let out a yell of surprise when Zack threw himself on her and cuddled her with such strength that she was certain her ribs were about to break.

“I love you!” he howled; tail thumping on the couch.

 ᵔᴥᵔ  🐾  ᵔᴥᵔ  🐾  ᵔᴥᵔ  🐾  ᵔᴥᵔ  🐾 ᵔᴥᵔ  🐾  ᵔᴥᵔ  🐾  ᵔᴥᵔ  🐾  ᵔᴥᵔ  🐾

Aerith was tempted to film what she was seeing right now.

She had never seen Zack so nervous before; so nervous that he was pulling at the hairs on the tip of his tail.

When the Hybrid’s head shot up suddenly, she knew that he could tell Cloud was at the door and she bit back a laugh as she gestured for him to open the door.

Zack nodded, determined but jittery and pulled the door open so quickly that he was nearly punched in the face by Tifa who had her hand up in the motion to knock on the door.

“Hello!” Tifa chuckled and Zack offered the top of his head to pat, which she did and almost squealed at how soft his ears were, “you must be Zack,” Zack nodded with a small smile as Aerith held his hand to try and make him less nervous.

But that quickly fell apart when he spotted the other canine standing behind Tifa, his hands covered by the sleeves of his plain black jumper that was deliciously stretched over his chest; enough that Zack could see how in shape he was.

He quickly tried to catch his own tail as it started wagging faster, his ears twitching with interest.

“This is Cloud, but I think you might know that already,” Tifa threw a wink his way, moving over to Aerith who greeted her with a tight cuddle and a kiss to the cheek.

“Hi,” 

Zack’s heart thumped hard against his chest at the sound of Cloud’s voice.

It was a lot softer than he remembered but he gathered that was because he was most probably anxious going by how the blonde was biting into his bottom lip, skin looking sore and picked at.

“Hey!” Zack barked and moved without thinking; grabbing both of Cloud’s hands and shaking them happily whilst Cloud just stared at him with wide blue-green eyes.

“Zack, calm down,” Aerith pressed gently.

It took Zack a moment to realise how forward he was being and he jumped backwards.

“Oh! I’m sorry,” he murmured feeling silly as he flushed a deep red.

He had never ever been the type of person to blush and get nervous in front of people so everything that was currently happening was like trying to speak for the first time.

When everybody had settled, Aerith and Tifa in the kitchen and the Hybrids in the front room, Zack was starting to become more comfortable with the more Cloud started to open up to him.

He couldn’t get over how handsome the other man was, how sweet it was whenever he moved his head and his long blonde ears swayed with him, how whenever he spoke about learning to ride a motorcycle his entire face lit up and his eyes seemed to sparkle with enthusiasm.

Oh he was in trouble.

Even more so when both of their tails settled down on the couch they were sharing and just so happened to land on top of one another making both of them blush.

“I didn’t mean to do that,” Cloud laughed quietly as he peered at the older man through his bangs, he went to tuck his tail back around the other side of him but was quickly stopped by Zack grabbing his wrist gently.

“I’m fine with it,” he nodded to reassure him, “if you are, I mean...” he let out a small whimper as he struggled to form sentences together without stuttering.

“I’m fine,” Cloud responded with a brilliant smile that nearly knocked Zack sideways, “your tail is so soft and poofy,” he giggled and paused as he wited for Zack to signal it was okay for him to touch his tail.

It was quickly granted and Cloud practically dived to touch it making shivers ripple up and down Zack’s spine.

“This is a little easier to talk about, huh?” the teasing tone confused Zack for a second as his brain wasn’t working correctly under the touch of the person of his affections, “tails are easier to talk about than,” Cloud paused and met Zack’s similarly coloured eyes, “books for example,”

“Are you implying something?” Zack quizzed playfully once his head cleared, though he was now hypnotised by the way Cloud’s slender fingers sifted through the soft black hairs of his tail.

“Oh not at all,” Cloud then lifted his own tail and gestured for Zack to touch.

Hybrids did often offer their tails to people they would like to be friends or partners with, usually only other Hybrids but on the rare chance, Humans have been blessed with the offering.

Zack couldn’t help but wag his own tail as he gently slipped Cloud’s through his thicker fingers, watching as the blonde fur brushed over his tanned skin.

“Your fur is so long on your tail, doesn’t it get annoying?” he asked innocently.

“No, I think of my tail as my own personal flag,” he wiggled his tail to show his point, “do you like it?” his voice was a lot shyer than before and Zack’s heart clenched tightly as he moved closer to the blonde.

“Yes,” he whispered with a pause in his movements; debating on whether or not he should go through the one thing he really wanted to do, “I like it a lot,” he then nuzzled his head against Cloud’s.

The noise that left Cloud’s lips was something Zack was storing in his memory forever.

A mixture of a whine and gasp at the sudden affection.

Both Hybrid’s ears moved t the sound of laughter from the kitchen but their eyes never left one another, the atmosphere changing into something much more intimate.

“I watched you the other day,” Cloud whispered, swallowing loudly making Zack’s eyes follow his Adam's apple before returning back to his eyes.

“Yeah?”

Cloud blushed darkly as he nodded.

“You were working fixing the window frame on the outside of the house?”

Zack nodded watching Cloud’s lashes brush against his skin.

“Tifa wanted me to go over and offer to hold the ladder for you,” he laughed as his hand found it’s way to Zack’s ear making the German Shepard sigh and push into his touch as Cloud’s thumb gently rubbed the bottom of his ear.

“Why didn’t you?”

Cloud looked down again as his own ears moved to the back of his head.

“I had a better view from my window,” he admitted and Zack nearly groaned at the way their eyes met with heat behind them.

“Did you now?”

Cloud nodded with a whine before taking Zack by surprise and pulling him into a kiss, his smaller hands now tangled in Zack’s hair, his lips parting in relief when Zack actually responded to the kiss.

The blonde was shaking so much because of his own actions and Zack couldn’t find it anything but endearing as he helped the Spaniel onto his lap.

Cloud tasted of coffee and mints and Zack was living for it, fingers grasping Cloud’s waist tightly but not enough to hurt him.

Zack smiled when he felt the soft material of Cloud’s jumper on his cheeks, gentle fingers stroking him before they moved away from each other.

There was no need to exchange any words as both of them moved their faces into the other’s neck, scenting to show their dedication to each other.

“Well, well, well,”

Cloud shrieked as he was nearly thrown off off Zack’s lap from how quickly he stood up in shock at the sound of Aerith’s voice.

“Told you it wouldn’t take long for them,” Tifa nudged her friend with a grin making the flower girl laugh.

“What?” Zack asked with a frown but apparently the two women didn’t even hear him.

“I’m just glad they were only scenting and not mating,” Aerith replied making even more glorious laughter to come from them as they walked away from the baffled and disheveled Hybrid’s.

“Did they set us up on a play-date?!”