#but don't police me
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#post nuked bc proshippers started insulting people who rbed this and implied partyjockers attempted to Kill staff? it was getting old so#archive links still under the cut if you want and you can rb this from others if you want the og#hint: if you dislike this post or want to debunk parts of it the way to go about it isn't to call people who've rbed it 'disgusting little#fuck ups' that are 'spreading anti shipper lies'#note: this post is and was Not about ship discourse jesus fucking christ proshippers get a grip#also ace discoursers are here too? this isn't about you either?#edit 2: if you send me an anon regarding this post about how im policing discussion or 'don't really want it'#but then stop replying when i answer your ask#maybe that's. not helping discussion?#i nuked this post as people started making up false accusations to smear people staff sniped. aka accusing someone of IRL ATTEMPTED MURDERS.
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sorry but modern AUs which depict harrowhark as incredibly goth or punk-looking just completely misunderstand harrow as a character. like, yes, aesthetically in the TLT context harrow has goth-like attributes. skull facepaint, bone earrings, etc, etc, i get it. but that's not counterculture for her! in fact, she dresses exactly how the revered daughter of the ninth house is expected to dress - down to the sacramentally shorn haircut.
which brings me to my main point. harrow's not a goth! she's a nun! she wouldn't be wearing chains and spikes, she would be wearing a full habit and a headscarf! she's a religious nun and she accidentally fell in love with lucifer. that's her aesthetic. she was raised in some deeply catholic cult somewhere in buttfuck nowhere and she carries a rosary everywhere she goes. there's your modern AU.
#don't come at me for this. draw/write harrow however you want. i'm not the harrow police#just my hot take#tlt#the locked tomb#harrowhark nonagesimus#harrow the ninth#harrow feeling exposed and uncomfortable without her robes and paint is exactly how my hijabi friends/relatives feel without their hijab#it's religious wear! it's not goth!#alectopause#gideon the ninth#griddlehark#nona the ninth
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#mrs flood who are you: time lord edition
#dwedit#doctor who#mrs flood#fifteenth doctor#the master#jacobi!master#tenth doctor#jack harkness#martha jones#twelfth doctor#ninth doctor#*#okay here is my argument: mrs flood IS a time lord but her presence here has nothing to do with the doctor#instead she's here because of ruby. she's seemingly part of/related to the pantheon of discord & we know that ruby is connected to them too#so i think that she was deliberately placed as ruby's neighbor by the pantheon/oldest one/ruby's mom/? in order to watch over her#it also explains why she was there to check on ruby in 1.04. once she realizes she's on the phone w carla she says 'nothing to do with me'#and she leaves. which implies that it COULD have had something to do with her. if it had been something else going on#ANYWAY. to get to the time lordness of it all. rn i personally believe that she's a time lord that's been hiding on earth for 50+ years#bc i don't think she recognized the police box as a tardis initially. that first quote should be taken at face value.#instead picture this: she's watching over ruby as per usual. a police box is there - weird but nbd. then it dematerializes in front of her.#she drops her groceries. she's shocked. she kinda looks scared. if she already knew it was a tardis why would she react like that?#so imo she knows OF tardises. she DIDN'T know the police box was one. and she's worried the time lords have found her hence the fear.#but when nothing happens and nobody comes at her she realizes she's still safe#later when she sees the doctor she realizes the tardis is his/he must be a time lord. he doesn't identify her but that's happened before#so then when she asks him who he is i think what she's actually asking for is his title. WHICH time lord are you.#bc lbr if she knows abt tardises then she knows about time lords and if she knows abt time lords she knows what it means for ruby#to be joining him - and that's why she wishes ruby good luck. meanwhile this is clearly the outcome she WANTS (them to be together)#bc she gets visibly upset when the doctor seems to decide to leave without ruby.#and for once i'm not master clowning bc the list of names the doctor gives out is VERY interesting. some of them we've never heard before:#the bishop; the conquistador; later he adds the pedant and sagi-shi and reiterates the bishop AGAIN. so i wonder if she's the bishop.....
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The whole "breasts shouldn't be politicized because the primary purpose of breasts is to feed babies!" can be a fine jumping-off point, but I really wish people thought deeper than that when we talk about the ways in which bodies are politicized and restricted.
Like, why's it that when we talk about breasts, they must have some Higher Purpose? It's true that breasts aren't inherently sexual, but they aren't valuable solely because they can potentially feed a baby. A human body doesn't have to serve a Higher Purpose in order for it to not be legislated against or policed, and I just wish people would remember it isn't always about babies, about other people, about anything else other than the people who have that body.
#feminism#dysphoria tw#your body doesn't need to have an Intrinsic Worthwhile Purpose so that you can live without fear#and it is fine if people say this to criticize the way breasts are overly sexualized and fetishized or what have you...#...but i encourage people to not see this as an end-all-be-all argument#because this opens discussions about how we politicize bodies and how we interpret them#i see overlap between this and the way trans bodies are politicized and policed honestly#and i guess personally i'm just so tired of the idea that to be safe your body Must Have A Good Reason To Be#and i fear this may reinforce the idea that we Must Serve Purposes and Be Useful and Used#ask to tag (genuine)#and what would this say for childless people? or people who cannot bear children? if they have breasts are they 'useless bodies'#because i have seen the ways some people's bodies are treated when they do not 'work PROPERLY' and that scares me#it scares me to potentially start treating people with different bodies as Defective and Unworthy and Unproductive#and i don't always trust when people latch onto purpose-driven arguments for human bodies that it stops at that y'know#have seen some discussion amd whatnot so 👍#is it now time to clock put and be a silly goose yet?
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What's up with batman and the erasing of queer history? Sry I try to interact with fanon as little as possible
There is no simple or short answer to this but to try and not make it a wall of text - Batman/Robin has always been a staple of the queer community, so much so that to this day there are "brudick" graffiti in big cities and lots of older gay couples have been using them as a reference for solid partnership which endures in spite of adversity.
Originally there was no indication anywhere that Bruce and Dick were in the roles of father and son, rather they were partners against crime, one the shadow of the other, and they would share everything both when it came to crime fighting and in their everyday lives. They're shown sleeping together, going on lake trips together, finishing each other's sentences and Dick being viciously jealous every time Bruce would "replace" him with any of the women he used to have flings with such as Talia or Selina.
Did DC mean for them to be read as a queer couple? No, of course not. Bob Kane and others wrote a partnership, an unbreakable bond which would allow these two men to overcome any obstacle together, and queer people read into it as queer people always do.
Someone else read into it though: Frederick Wertham, who called Batman a pederast and used Batman and Robin as an example of how the evil comics would corrupt young minds to send them on the way of perdition and sin. He wrote all of this and many more infuriating shit in his book Seduction of the Innocents, which was then the major influence in creating the Hayes Code, which is the reason why we never had queer characters in comicbooks and movies and anything really for decades (and we're still struggling today).
Wertham and the Hayes Code did not stop the queer community from loving Batman and Robin though, therefore what started happening was the more subtle shift towards Bruce and Dick having a father and son relationship rather than a partnership. You can see this clearly with Jason Todd for the first time: Bruce takes Jason in and treats him as his own son, the narrative calls them father and son, and there is no doubt in the mind of who's reading that Bruce perceives Jason as his child. It all went steadily downhill from there.
Nowadays, writers have Dick say character assassinating things like "I love you dad" to Bruce, Tim saying "we will save our dad" to Damian, and everyone in the fandom acting like this has always been the case and actually you're weird and you should be sent death threats for shipping Brudick, because "UMMM that is literally his son?!??!?!?". DC has been pushing the idea that these folks are a nuclear family for a while now, but whoever has actually read the comics knows it's not the case, and it used to be very different before.
Brudick, among queer people, used to be entirely uncontroversial. While Wertham raged about how it corrupted the minds of young men and the Hayes Code prevented queerness to be anything but vaguely hinted and coded in the text, queer folks didn't care and kept having matching Batman and Robin shirts.
Today queer people will call you a pedophile and a groomer and try to doxx you for posting Brudick art because apparently they're doing the fascists' job for them, either because they are genuinely misguided or because they think that if they're enough morally pure they will have a spot among the chosen ones, hell if I know. What I know is that they'd suck Wertham's cock and balls if he wrote Seduction of the Innocents today, and it's DC's fault too with their erasure of every found family dynamic among the batclan, and the way they've been pushing the idea of a "batfamily" instead, in which everyone has a strict role of son or brother or father, and shipping them makes you the antichrist.
#I personally don't even ship brudick#and the ships between bats and birds don't do much for me in general#but I see the devastation caused by how queer people police and censor (and abuse) each other#on the basis of preserving the sanctity of a family that doesn't exist and is not even a family#my asks#my meta#dick grayson#bruce wayne#brudick
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Hey, do any of my followers have experience with absconding from their parents' house to a safe place as soon as they're able? Do you have any advice on how to do that? Do you have any advice on what the person they're going to live with should do?
#signal boost#abuse#abuse survivor#abuse survival#a friend of mine is planning on escaping their abusive parents' house to live with me and I want to make sure it goes as smoothly as possibl#and also that I do everything right#I'm planning on bringing my brothers husband mom and two friends when I go to pick them up#so that way we have tough people to help in case their dad tries to keep them from leaving#but I was wondering if maybe I should call the police or something as well so they're aware of what's going on? that way if their parents#try to call the police on us for ''kidnapping'' an adult the police will be on our side#but I'm not sure if that's a good idea because I don't trust cops
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(I'm a security guard.)
#There is an overwhelming number of traumatized people who work in security#So many of us have histories of abuse#Or other things#And I wonder so often#I'm good at my job#But am I attracted to power?#I like helping people#I don't like hurting people#Or picking on anyone#But it's hard to know what the right answers are sometimes#Part of my job is working with police#Even if I disagree with them#I tell myself it's better that I'm the guard here#And not someone malicious#Or cruel#But how much am I really changing?#And am I using my power correctly#Or will I become the unreasonable authority that made me the scared person I am#Is it already too late?#What if the calls I'm unsure of are the warning signs#Maybe I'm already too late#Maybe my sense of morality and justice is eroding#To fit the hole I've placed myself in#Maybe I'm not chipping at the walls fast enough#Maybe I'm being reshaped#Just being here#Maybe my conflict of conscience is the internal monologue of a sympathetic villain#Maybe I'm the bad guy#Teablart
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This shouldn't even be need to be said but don't fucking report people who express being suicidal. I don't care how much you think you're doing it for someone's own good, it does NOT help us it only harms further
READ that AGAIN
You are ACTIVELY harming those people when you try to be a goody two-shoes and tell on them when they get suicidal
Don't fucking report them to social media app features that have the report for self harm option. Don't fucking call a suicide hotline on them. Don't fucking report them to therapists, paychiatrists, cops, controlling parents or partners
It does not matter how uncomfortable it makes you - this isn't ABOUT you - it doesn't matter how much it goes against your cute little saviour complex thinking you're being oh such a wonderful kind heroic person by "saving" someone from themself.
When you report a person to any of those places it heavily risks hospitalisation and incarceration. Where I live it's technically still a crime to attempt suicide, they never overturned the law. And if you think being in a ward might help them - do everyone a favour and go check out the actual conditions in the wards and talk to psych survivors about how they actually are. Otherwise shut up about things you have no experience with.
Everyone should have a right to autonomy, especially bodily autonomy, and you don't have to like what they do with their own body for you to know not to take that away from someone. It's not your place to judge, it's not okay to be moralistic about bodily autonomy suddenly because you can't handle the reality of mentally ill people.
And it's not fucking okay to lock us in and remove us from society just because our disorders are too fucking ugly for you to look at.
If you absolutely have to help just talk to a suicidal person if they're up to it, just ask them what will help, and if you can't do that then leave us the fuck alone you snitches
And don't come at me with the law, if you had to be an ally to mentally ill people, to queer people, to women, to any kind of marginalised people, historically a lot of it has always included standing against the law and with us.
STOP REPORTING US
#if it's too rude for you don't bother tone policing me because being nice gets us nowhere#when you're crazy you're crazy and every bit of emotion is used against you so go shove those manners up your ass idc#anti psych#suicide#tw suicide#anti psychiatry#mental health stuff#psa#mental health#depression#bipolar#actually bipolar#actually autistic#psychosis#bpd#npd#cripple punk#disability#ableism#suicide hotlines#seriously do not trust those hotlines unless it's directly to an organisation you know is safe
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y'all get this. you're gonna love this.
i went to renew my car registration online last week and was slapped with a nice juicy "NON-RENEWAL" banner when i entered my information. why, you ask? i asked the same thing!
turns out that i had an unpaid toll fee (?!) from june that i was completely unaware of. because of the way toll plazas are just stupid fucking photo booths now, i don't even remember going through this toll. but apparently i did, because they have a picture of my car going through it. whatever. it's like $1.
here's the rub, though. i never received an invoice in the mail for this, and yes my address is up-to-date. so the next month the fee went up. then it went up. then it went up. then it went to collections, where it incurred a $25 fine and barred me from renewing my registration. the total fee they wanted me to pay to clear my non-renewal was nearly $30. for a toll i never even got an invoice to pay. and for those wondering, in order to view and pay your toll online, you must have either the invoice number from the state DOT, or you must have the ticket number from the RMV after you get a non-renewal. which means that even if i had remembered i went through the toll and had attempted to pay it, i would not have been able to because i never got an invoice.
so i did what any pissed off state-hating woman does. i wrote a dispute letter to the DOT saying exactly what i said above and declaring it unjustifiable and wrong.
i did not receive any automated confirmation email that my dispute claim was successfully submitted, nor did i receive any correspondence back about it. but, magically, when i went to the DOT website to check the status of it this afternoon, as i logged in to the RMV website to grab the ticket number, it was gone. and my non-renewal was cleared.
funny, that.
anyway kids the moral of the story is to always fight back against injustice from the state. they're just bullies hoping to grift people who are too timid or too busy to deal with their bullshit. never let it slide. always fight back.
#the hawk speaks#fuck the state#also fuck having to register my car to begin with#please mister police officer don't shoot me for driving an illegal car jfc#i hate it here
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break trio coffee headcanons (because why not):
Kidou kinda gets deeper into hand-brewing, quite to the nerd depths but instead of making it his personality he just enjoys the meticulous preparation process. he probably has an app to follow the flow rate... and of course he has a chemex. in two sizes, most likely. he still does drink all kinds of coffee, but only in the morning, to not overcaffeinate.
Endou doesn't really drink coffee but he likes sweet coffee drinks and coffee flavored things. he has the adhd brain where caffeine makes him sleepy, so he doesn't really get people who use it to energize.
Gouenji doesn't like the coffee flavor that much, and prefers energy drinks for caffeine boost. though, he's the kind of guy who takes a cup if everyone else's having, more for the social experience than the drink itself. I think he enjoys chai a lot more.
#me a lil coffee nerd: yeah none of them are going too deep#kidou is rich so he can have all the cool coffee equipment I wish I had haha (I seriously am longing that kettle... in that exact color....#own art#inazuma eleven#for legal reasons they're a bit older so caffeine police please don't come get me#(after drafting this I've seen some hcs going around so I hope I don't seem like I'm copying hhh sorry!!)
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Some Ford doodles
#gravity falls#ford pines#stanford pines#bill cipher#billford#sometimes i wonder of i need to start adding “minors dni” to my blog#because like 1. i know from experience those don't do anything lol#2. i was a minor 2 seconds ago#well... almost half a year ago#but half a year is basically the same as 2 seconds right?#anyway i love being 18 because now i can post my cringe ass thirst trap posts and not feel like the police are gonna come after me#same feeling as turning 13 and being able to use social media without fear of all my accounts getting reported and turned to dust#oh uh#suggestive tw
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Hello Newsies fandom, for your casual viewing pleasure (and because apparently some people think headcanoning the Jacobs family as Jewish is antisemitic), here is the exact passage from the official Newsies novel that states Davey is Jewish and Jack is Irish :D
It's not a headcanon, it's literally written in the source material and, even if it wasn't, this fandom has been headcanoning characters' ethnicities based on their names since 1992. They're street kids living in New York City in 1899, they're going to be a diverse group and the best thing we have to go on is their names. I know my group of mutuals headcanon at least two other characters as Jewish, somewhat if not entirely based on their names.
Like, I don't know how else to explain that headcanoning a character with a traditionally Jewish name isn't "stereotyping" it's literally just being like "oh hey, this whole family has really common Jewish names, it would be fun if they're Jewish" and then we all move on with our lives because it's also literally canon. Like, it would be bad if we were headcanoning a character as Jewish purely because they exhibit behaviors that are also associated with negative Jewish stereotypes but that's literally not what's happening here. Also I'm pretty sure it's mentioned in the non-dialogue parts of the script somewhere but I don't have access to that.
In conclusion, don't be weird about people headcanoning characters as minorities, it's not stereotyping it's literally just people existing.
(Also, I am not Jewish, so I do not at all claim to be any kind of authority on representation. If any Jewish bloggers want to weigh in I will happily read and be open to learning!)
#not to vague post on main but i'm feeling confrontational today#my old post about character details confirmed in the newsies novel was going around again and i got excited until i found out why#the jacobs family is canonically jewish and even if they weren't it's not a weird thing to headcanon#if you're going to police people's headcanons at least go after the ones that are actually harmful to disenfranchised communities#tell me if you want to hear my jewish mush headcanons because i have a lot of thougths about him that i don't think i've ever posted#also if anyone wants my pdf of the newsies novel just dm me it's such a fun read#david jacobs#newsies#92sies#livesies#newsies novel
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aro culture is getting really annoyed with the relationships unit in your sociology class because the whole thing is just 100% amatonormativity.
:\
if think your teacher, professor, and/or TAs might be interested in discussing the concept, I have some idea of bringing up the topic?
I'd personally say something like, "Hi, During our section in sociology around relationships, I couldn't help but think it would be interesting to discuss how a sociological theory called "amatonormativity" might relate to these lessons. I gathered a few sources from the professor who coined it, a thesis written on it, and a law review written about the connection between it and laws in the USA. There's some connections between its use in feminist thought and in queer theories, and I'd love to know your thoughts about it. I personally was thinking of when [specific statement] was said, and how I would apply this theory. I hope it's as interesting to you as it is to me."
Coiner's current webpage: https://elizabethbrake.com/amatonormativity/
Thesis: https://vc.bridgew.edu/honors_proj/330/ (click download in upper right hand corner for the PDF, depending on the individual it may be worth downloading and sending that rather than a link)
Law Review: https://uclawreview.org/2022/06/09/amatonormativity-in-the-law-an-introduction/
#aro culture is#aro#aromantic#actually aro#actually aromantic#ask#mod leo#the general thing is: if you approach a teacher/professor/TA i promise you most of them are THRILLED to see a student engage with the topic#even if it's critical! but you HAVE to watch your tone. i'm not tone policing - you're so allowed to feel and talk about how harmful it is!#- but when you start from excitement or neutral 'how do you feel?' it creates dialogue#and people learn from each other when there's back and forth. practice your 'i statements' like 'i like this theory because i feel...'#not 'your lessons are shitty and promote topics that hurt me and my community'#cause like. no one wants to engage with someone who starts off the bat with that#talking shit about it within community and already supportive folks >>> talking shit about it with someone who's likely unaware at best#and will probably assume it's a weird passive aggressive way to say you don't like them and want them gone#y'know? all about communication skills#<- took a seminar on intrapersonal communication in queer communities in college and suggested how many materials assumed romo/sexual#relationships when discussing boundaries and such and how in queer spaces it's especially important to talk about ALL types of relationship#because we are likely to need that guidance in everyday microaggressions too! and the outside therapist helping with the course was SO#into that and SO excited to bring that energy to the class
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Cops only exist to enforce laws that, if broken, would be a blue-collar crime. They exist for shoplifting, murder, illegal drug use, protests, an in-progress robbery, and more extreme cases of domestic violence, you get the picture. This service is paid for by taxes, and it's supposedly free to all citizens, but we all know that POC and other minorities fear calling the police.
Police exist to enforce crime associated with the working class. White-collar crime doesn't involve the police. You have to enforce that yourself and pay hundreds to thousands of dollars for a lawyer. You can be put in physical danger at your job, but the police do not handle that. They handle when you are put in physical danger at home, and that's even if the police always gave a shit and did their jobs correctly.
The police are not there to enforce all law equally, they are there to enforce laws that are broken by the marginalized. They are not there for you being denied housing, fired from work, hurt on the job, assaulted by your employer, going unpaid for your work, etc. They do not target the upper classes, that is not in their job description.
Cops exist and have always existed to maintain the current power structure. This is one of the reasons why the system needs to be removed entirely.
#I'm putting this on antiterf because I know a lot of my followers are White leftists#and us White people usually don't care nearly enough about police violence brutality and how they exist to oppress#and I've been thinking about this a lot#how I can name so many instances of laws being broken that hurt me and others but couldn't do anything#because that's a lawyers job and lawyers cost more than I can afford#and the instances I see are usually going to be too minor for them like being fired from a few dollars above min wage job#notaterftip#not sarcasm
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@ all the folks who portray Jack as a full human person with thoughts and feelings. Instead of just making him the butt of a joke, or a head-empty shitty irredeemable dad (for nothing other than Danny-torture-angst): I am holding your hand in my little rabbit paws and thanking you with all my heart.
#danny phantom#usual disclaimer that people are free to create whatever they want#I'm not fandom police#but I wanna throw this lil thank you out there#I mean c'mon you'd be lying if you told me you don't get all giddy when people give your fav characters love#'wow you sure got some takes at 4AM what's up-'#I AM BEHIND ON THIS DEADLINE LET ME LIVE
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I LOVE UR BRAIN SO BAD 😭😭😭 YOU ALWAYS POST THEBBEST HEADCANONS AND THOUGHTS LIKE. WORK HUSBAND GOJO. AND JUST HAVING A WHOLE IMAGINATION OF THE OFFICE W NANAMI AND HIGURUMA AND TOJI I?????? I WANT TO LIVE IN YOUR BRAIN
TEEHEEEE you’re so sweet <33333 the work husband to actual husband to househusband gojo pipeline is so so real to me and the office au that comes with it truly does take up space in my brain, so here’s some more loosely established points
satoru has been your work husband since you got your first job in undergrad. you two met in your dorms, and became friends, and eventually you thought a job would help with your time management skills, so you got a very low-maintenance position at the front desk of the library. satoru applied right after you and schmoozed the two little old librarians into giving him the same shifts as you. that was probably the first moment satoru knew he was a little bit in love with you—because he had no reason to have a job while in school, but this small change in your schedule made him miss you so much that he was moved to get his very first job, probably ever, just to spend more time with you.
he wasn’t bad at his library receptionist job, but he technically wasn’t good at it, either. if a student asked him for a laptop charger or to check out a book or something, he could do that, but anything else he’d just smile and say, “oh, you’ve gotta ask the pretty girl right there about that, she knows way more than me,” and bat his eyelashes at you. except, then, when you did need to get up to grab something for someone, satoru would just spring up instead, and tell you he’s got it. it’s like… he was incapable of helping anybody else unless he got to flirt with you, and then help you out to help them out……… strange boy
anyways, satoru makes it a habit to assist you through your student jobs throughout undergrad, and then follows you to the same law school and repeats the process there. (also not to elle woods-ify him a bit but his father heavily questions him going to law school btw because satoru has never showed any interest in working, let alone following in his footsteps to be a lawyer, and now he’s going to law school? his mom is a bit sharper though, because when satoru tells his parents he’s going to the same law school as you, she just smiles and sips her tea and wonders if her son has already made a trip to their family jeweler).
the firm is large, but the floor you work on is a pretty close knit group. there’s hiromi’s office at the tail end, which is the largest because he’s managing partner and he practically lives in there. on the other end, both you and nanami have decently sized offices. satoru doesn’t like hiromi at first because he thinks he’s mean. then satoru watches him play a little prank on kento, and suddenly the two of them are best friends. it would be a surprisingly wholesome friendship if their common denominator wasn’t irritating kento, and acting as guard dogs for you.
kento’s office used to be just the bare necessities—law books, his degree, basic furniture, maybe a fancy paperweight, until satoru got his hands on it and decked it out. which is not something kento asked for, nor he thinks is necessary, but that doesn’t stop satoru from continually adding little trinkets and decorations and art to his office to make it livelier. when kento first meets you, he’s surprised when you tell him satoru gojo is going to be your secretary because kento interned for satoru’s father for two summers during law school, but when kento sees you and satoru together for the first time, it answers all of his questions. satoru couldn’t be more of a lovesick fool if he tried.
listen the ex-convict to single father to janitor to lawyer toji pipeline is so real to me. while toji is working as a janitor at the firm, satoru slips once and then jokes that toji shines the floors too aggressively on purpose to make him slip, toji tells him to fuck off and he can sue for harassment. they truly don’t like each other at first, but once satoru steals toji’s masterkey to get into your office one night after you’re gone to leave flowers, and handle some paperwork to lighten your load in the morning, toji is sort of impressed. he still almost hits him with a broomstick, but even someone as gruff as him can see that satoru had pure intentions. toji is a lot of things, but he’s not immune to or devoid of love or passion. so, eventually he and satoru develop a weird sort of banter and respect for each other. one day someone actually tries to accuse toji of not putting the wet floor sign down and how it’s gonna be a lawsuit because some lowlife janitor fucked up his $3000 suit. satoru catches the argument as he’s heading upstairs and recognized the schmuck as the stuck up lawyer on the other side of kento’s case. satoru’s ready to jump in, but toji’s displaying an impressive amount of physical restraint and legal knowledge that when the dust is all settled, satoru asks him if he ever considered being a lawyer. toji laughs at it at first, but after a month of serious consideration (and megumi becoming a college freshman), he figures it can’t be all that bad. and turns out, toji’s a half-decent lawyer—once you’ve spent so much of your life skirting (or blatantly breaking) the law, you become pretty good at getting people out or around it, too. and with his life experience, he’s a pretty good judge of character; so when it comes time to lock up the bad ones, toji makes sure they get the maximum sentence.
except he has a bad habit of sending out emails with “URGENT: NEEDS ATTN” in the subject, which prompts you, kento, and hiromi to rush to his office, just to see toji with his feet up on his desk tell you that, “the emergency is i hate the opposing counsel, and now that i work on this side of the law i’d really like to not kill him, so somebody else should take this case.”
anyways back to work husband secretary satoru. he pulls you out of boring meetings under the guise of an urgency, just for him to admit that the emergency is that he missed you, and you two were gonna be late for your lunch reservation. because he’s actually a licensed attorney, he can actually carry out duties an associate otherwise would, which saves you a lot of time and trouble; and it means that satoru gets to work even more closely with you, which is always an upside for him. sometimes you ask him to hand you documents and instead he just hands you his hand. and then pretends to blush and preen like a schoolgirl which always draws way too much attention to the two of you, but there’s no way to stop him either. he takes your coat off of your shoulders when you arrive in the morning, and helps you put it back on in the evening. when you tell him you’re looking for an apartment closer to the firm, he has eight places lined up for viewing, and one surprise at the end which happens to be the other vacant penthouse suite in his apartment building; which, conveniently, would make you satoru’s neighbor. he claims that it’ll be just like in college, but it certainly doesn’t feel that way when you finally move in and satoru can now loudly and proudly proclaim, “see you at home!” in the halls at work now.
#answered#that was a lot..... sorry this universe is so vivid to me#maybe i should rewatch suits..............#tho the first time you actually go on A Date with a real dude nothing work related satoru crumbles#he's so quiet at work for the entire day everyone thinks he must be sick or something#the day after your date he's sort of back to normal but something is off.... you don't bring up the date tho so he takes that a good sign#for him at least bc if u have nothing to say u must not have found him all that interesting righ t#but then you briefly mention a second date and now satoru has to get serious#and by serious i mean dig up everything there is to possibly dig up on this guy#way past public records he's calling favors as the DA's office he's calling his dad he's calling moles in the police. if this dude is gonna#be serious about you then he better be squeaky clean#except satoru 100% gets caught by kento who tells him that he needs to stop digging up dirt on ur date#which makes satoru pout and whine but whatever he'll drop it (only bc kento reminds him that if You find out ur gonna be Pissed)#then he really goes back to being himself but 10x#arm around your shoulder driving you everywhere himself introducing himself to ur date with the most smug grin on his face#it doesnt take long for this guy to get uncomfortable/ask you whats up with you and satoru and in the end satoru drives him away anyway#he might not be able to confess to you but he sure can keep everybody else away#besides theres only so many hours in the day u should focus on the important things: him and work 😇#jjk x reader#satoru x reader#lawyer au#satoru.ask
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