#but date rotation?? date rotation of the food that goes out of date in under a week???? HOW do u have to be told to do that

[notquiteaghost]

hi welcome to [location] [store]! excited to work with you! i'm [redacted] and if you don't date rotate the fridge i will Fucking Bite You :)

[mrsoharaa]

Imagining Miguel going through Gabriella's teen years. Being an "overprotective" dad the moment she goes on a date!

You, were obviously okay with it, knowing she's just entering her ripe ol' age of curiosity and teenage normalcy of dating. But for Miguel. That was an entirely different aspect.

The sound of Gabriella's bedroom closes almost too enthusiastically, blaring and alarming everyone (in which case, was just only you and her at the moment, thus Miguel being away at work) in the cozy home of her excitement and thrill for her date tonight.

When you contently hum to yourself, readying dinner for the three of you, you can hear her weighted footsteps of joy prance through into the dining room/kitchen vicinity. A lifted giggle spilling from her lips as she gazes over her phone.

You turn to meet your daughters giddy expression, acknowledging that familiar delight and glee sprawl all over that gleaming face.

"Someone's excited for tonight" you smile happily at your grinning little bundle of joy (or at least, that's what you still call her since she is technically still your baby). Gabriella places her phone down for a second, practically hopping and throttling with pure exhilaration and eager.

"I really am mama! tonight is going to be so much fun! he's taking me out to that new nice restaurant that just opened up down the street! you know, the one by that one cafe you really like?! across the street from them!" She announces with pure elation, angling her phone as she glances through the reflection of her device to fix the little gorgeous strands of familiar dark mahogany from her adoring face.

"Oh lovely! sounds like fun! do you want me to put away some food for you later, mija?" you smile at her. ("Daughter")

"Sure, thank you mami!" she excitedly whips back.

The sound of a warping buzz elicits from the living room, a hulking, brooding stature of a 6'9 suited man, shuffles his self through the vast yellow portal that immediately dissipates behind him the moment he steps into the living space.

A weighted sigh expels from behind the dark maroon and navy mask that hid his beautiful face. He retracts his stiff shoulders, murmuring something under hefty grumbles. His attention quickly turns to your direction, noting the cutely attired and heavily anticipated daughter sitting onto one of the stools by the kitchen's island.

He dissipates his mask, thick brows raised in curiosity and confusion, heavy, tired lids of ruby stroll back onto you.

"¿Qué pasa aquí?" he tilts his head, still rotating his aching shoulders to try to rid of the pulsing, nagging weight pinching at his muscles from a long strenuous day. ("What's going on here?")

"Our daughter has a date tonight honey, isn't that exciting?" you grin coyly at the frowning man looming over next to Gabriella.

"She — what?!" Miguel's scowl quickly qwhips over to his daughter, watching her roll her eyes and head with a low giddy sigh.

"I already told you papa, remember? yesterday? before you dropped me off at school?" Gabriella twirls her phone in her hand, watching her fathers face twist with mixed emotions. Particularly one, to be precised — disapproval.

"I don't recall having this conversation with you, Gabriella" he states dryly, uncertainty clinging to his gruff voice.

You turn in his direction, eyeing him for his sudden disapproving tone.

"Yeah, I did! I told you right as you pulled into the schools front parking lot! you really have that bad of a memory dad?" Gabriella shrugs, watching her father glare over at you. Noting the head tilt and stern eye contact the two of you shared.

He groans inwardly, annoyed profusely by the fact that his little girl is going on a date. That he, oh so never recollected on, hearing about.

"Who is he? where does he live? What's his phone number? Where are you two goi- Miguel" you chuckle lightly, fully facing his direction as you met with his furrowed gaze.

"...Right right" he sighs defeatedly, glimpsing back over to his beautiful child as he smiles more tender heartedly. Takes a step closer towards her and embraces her with long, warm open arms. Easily engulfing her into his taller stature, one hand nestled around her comfortably as the other brushes over her hair. Places a gentle kiss on top of her pretty tresses.

"Just...be safe for me mija, make sure he doesn't try kissing you" Miguel mumbles into her hair, Gabriella simply laughs as she returns a squeezing embrace back to her doting, grumpy father.

"Miguel" you warn once again with a lenient smile, the three of you chuckle in unison.

Gabriella pulls away "I promise I'll be so safe papa! I'll call you if anything happens, I promise!" she leans on her tip toes to give her father a soft peck to his right cheek, he rumbles a relaxed grumble.

"Esa es mi chica, ve a divertirte mija" he gives her another head kiss, feeling her reel from his embrace and rush out the door, waving to her loving parents. ("That's my girl, go have fun daughter")

The sound of the door slamming close grates through Miguels ears, the familiar same scowl from before returning back onto his churning face.

With your back facing him and your attention drawing back to your cooking, you could feel the searing burn of his dim eyes peer at the back of your head. A simple hum dwindles from your pursed, curled lips.

"So, she's dating now? since when?" he finally flushes the thickening air, leaning over the island, eyes strictly focused on you.

"She's a teenager Miggy, you have to let her go through these things" you insist, peppering the seasoned chicken breast in the bowl in front of you.

The sound of his teeth lowly ticks through the air, his retracted claws tapping amongst the marbled tile of the island he leaned over.

"She'll be fine my love, you and I both raised that little girl right...she knows how to defend herself" you peek over your shoulder to wave an irate Miguel one of your reassuring smiles. The very same one that always made his heart melt and feel at ease.

You can see the tensity of his body softly, hardly, unwind, his dim lidded irises softening to your tender gaze. He emits a long sigh.

"I know I know...I just...worry about her is all" he exhales, watching you take a step back and bend over to place the bowl into the oven.

A feeble giggle lilts off your lips, straightening yourself up and walking over to your overly exerted husband, you cup your hands onto his cheeks and brush your thumbs gingerly along the warm, supple flesh. A deeming smile weaving onto your cheeks.

"And that makes you such an exemplary father, baby" you softly cooed, feeling his head lean into your homely touch instantly. Almost purring to the welcoming feeling of your smooth skin caressing his hardened face.

"She'll be okay Miggy, I promise" you lift up onto your toes and place a soft kiss to his full lips, smirking as you feel him lean downward to keep his lips onto yours, growling lowly as he feels you pull away from his pursed, needy plush of skin.

"You remember what it was like when we were teenagers, don't you?" you coy, playing with the plump silken flesh that formed into that familiar pout you had grown to love and adore.

"How we use to sneak out of our parents houses at night to meet...take your fathers car to come pick me up and drive through the city after midnight...going on starry night dates and peaceful drive ins, before you became Spider-Man" your heart practically swoons through your fluttering chest from the recommencing loving memories flooding through your head.

Miguel nearly feels his heart thrashing violently against his chest, pupils dilating widely as you sigh dreamily.

"Wait — she's sneaking out of the house now? that I DON'T KNOW ABOUT?! SINCE WHEN?! ¡Oh, por el amor de Dios!" Miguel snarls, you burst into a fit of laughter, holding and pulling his face back down to meet your level. Carefully planting your head against his, as you continue to smooth his cheeks with your fingers. ("oh for fucks sake!")

"No no baby! of course not! I'm just saying!" you chuckle lightly, reeling him into your subtle massage amongst his face. His body relaxes, breaths steadying out as he lowers his enraged eyes, gently gazing down at you.

Hums at the supple touch of your hands slowly drifting down to his broad shoulders.

"She's going to be alright honey, you just have to trust her...trust me" you feel his weight slowly ease further into your touch, the pulling, tantalizing pressure of your fingers massaging at his stiff shoulders basking him in a trance of relaxation and tranquil. He sighs softly, leans forward to plant a sweet kiss onto your forehead, then your nose and finally your lips.

"I trust you...I trust the both of you more then anybody"

"I know you do Miggy...now come, let me help you relax, your shoulders feel very stiff and stagnant" you lull him into another kiss, giggling cunningly as you pull away and listening to him rumble another irritated grumble from your swaying motion from his lips.

A shorten, pitched yelp cranes from your lungs as you feel your body abruptly being pulled back to his body. Your own being hoisted and pinned against his, his arms wrapping your legs around his slim waist as he nuzzles into your chest, resting his chin onto the comforting mounds.

"Those can wait, seems like my wife wants to keep pulling away from my kisses...I think a punishment is in order, no?" he grins slyly, wickedly as he cups your rear with his large hands, adoring the upbringing fluster pooling into your cheeks.

"M-Miguel no! I have dinner to tend too!" you chirp with a giggle, feeling his wide hands playfully smack at your voluptuous bottom, quickly smoothing over the rounded clothed flesh. Leans up to kiss your chin.

"Dinner will be fine cariño...It won't take long anyways...maybe" he nuzzles beneath your chin, laughing at your adorable resistance to his cheeky advances.

[incorrectbatfam]

Wayne Tower yelp reviews pls (wrong answers ofc)

★★★☆☆ Disappointed but not surprised

Was invited to the Wayne Gala held at the Tower this year to accommodate special guests from the Justice League. Was photographed by reporter Clark Kent. Wanted to meet Superman but he didn't show up. Food and atmosphere was good. Got told off for swinging from the chandelier. Why have a chandelier if not for swinging?

★☆☆☆☆ Not even gonna dignify it with a title

I'd give zero stars if I could. The CEO is a massive fucking asshole. He's full of nothing but smooth-brained takes. He claims he'll be there when you need him but never shows up. And when you RIGHTFULLY resent him, he'll turn around and pretend YOU are the bad guy. That isn't even touching on his AUDACITY to replace you so soon after you leave. You think you know this man, you think you've grown to trust him, and then he goes and stabs you in the back. Believe me when I say RUN. Get as FAR away from this company and that bastard Bruce Wayne as you possibly can.

★★☆☆☆ SOS

I work here. Too many emails. Half the execs are Boomers who can't export a PDF. The break room is out of coffee. My dad won't stop visiting the office. When will the nightmare end???

★★★★☆ Imperfect but respectable

I had the opportunity to visit Wayne Tower on Bring Your Child To Work Day. The building is up to code and I was able to view all the health code certifications. I admire that Wayne Enterprises takes care of its employees by allowing ample vacation time, in-house daycare, and well-maintained recreation spaces. The cafeteria did not have as many vegetarian options as I would have preferred, but I have been informed that they operate on a rotating menu, so I shall revisit again next week and possibly amend my review. I would leave five stars but I ran into Tim Drake on the way out and that brought the whole experience down a notch.

★☆☆☆☆ No Chipotle

Was told there was a Chipotle here. Did not find Chipotle.

★★★☆☆ Badge entry didn't work

I'm on the night shift at the company's call center. One time I was already running late but for some reason I couldn't badge in. The janitor wouldn't let me through even though I had proof I was supposed to be here. Had to escalate to the CEO. Still better than working the Batburger drive-thru though.

★★★★★ Hi Dad

Hi Dad.

★★★★☆ Good but...

I love the bathrooms. They're easy to find and very accessible for a wheelchair user like myself. There's plenty of space for me to navigate and the products are top-notch, especially the hot towels. The toaster oven under the sink also doesn't make sense, but then again, my lockscreen is Nightwing so I can't judge.

★★☆☆☆ No cats allowed

I got written permission from the CEO himself to bring my cat to the office, but the doorman turned me away. Next time, there should be better communication between the employees.

★★★★☆ Rooftop makes for good date

I brought my girlfriend up here for our anniversary date. The building has a beautiful view of the city and the restaurant was great. The bread was a little dry, but nothing that a little butter couldn't fix. Unfortunately, she's an on-call detective and we had to cut our evening short, but that's not the staff's fault.

★☆☆☆☆ Got called Bri'ish

Someone called me Bri'ish.

[here-comes-the-moose]

Bad Batch Modern AU Headcanons Under the Cut

Echo

Does not like red wine. It gives him a headache and heartburn (he’s just like me fr).

Plans Friday Fundays with Omega after she gets out of school.

Great at cooking and baking, but absolutely needs to follow the recipe. If he’s tries to improvise or experiment, the food is not edible at all.

Can flawlessly do a shot with no hands.

Has done a keg stand.

Before the loss of his limbs, he used to NEVER get hungover, no matter how much he drank. Even now, his hangovers are pretty mild. He’s just built different.

Was recruited to be one of the room parents for Omega’s class.

The only one who can get through to Crosshair when his mental health gets really bad.

Has their house decorated like the most stereotypical suburban mom. I’m talking Live Laugh Love signs, a beach-themed bathroom, so many throw pillows and blankets that you can barely sit, a rotation on of seasonal decor, the list goes on.

Hunter

Cannot sing for shit.

The king of dad jokes.

Has absolutely no fashion sense. Negative drip. He’s wearing socks and sandals unironically.

World’s worst cook. Managed to burn and undercook a pancake. Gave Crosshair food poisoning.

Banned from grilling after he set all the food they got for their 4th of July barbecue on fire.

Gets migraines. He gets extremely sensitive to sound and smells.

The only person Crosshair lets look after him when he isn’t feeling well.

Views expiration dates as suggestions. Somehow has never gotten sick.

Constantly going on Tinder dates.

Tech

Total chick magnet.

Does not realize this.

Constantly drives over the speed limit (except in school zones) but miraculously has never gotten a speeding ticket.

Best at making cocktails.

The most intense one about making sure they all eat healthy.

His shoulders and neck get really tense, from sitting at a computer and from carrying most of his stress there.

Does not like crispy bacon.

Wrecker

Grill master.

Actually great at cooking and baking. He can improvise and experiment with ease and the food comes out even better.

Always showing off photos of Omega when he’s at work.

Saw the Barbie movie more than once. He cried each time.

LOVES to listen to Kesha.

His music taste is basically just 2000’s-2010’s party girl music.

Used to choreograph dances that he would then perform with Crosshair and Fives for the rest of their family when they were kids.

Gives the best massages.

Wears the New Balance dad sneakers. Crosshair HATES them.

Crosshair

Banned from their local Applebee’s for getting extremely sloppy off their dollaritas.

Gets motion sick sometimes, mostly in cars.

HATES air travel.

Top three artists on Spotify are My Chemical Romance, Taylor Swift, and Lana Del Rey (he’s just like me fr)

Also gets migraines. Unlike Hunter, he isn’t that sound sensitive, but he gets extremely sensitive to light and smells and gets auras with his migraines.

Also saw the Barbie movie more than once (he went with Wrecker). He also cried.

Has a crush on Tony Soprano (don’t ask why the thought came into my head and wouldn’t leave)

Babies and toddlers love him for some reason.

Will not eat or drink something if the expiration date is within two days. Gets extremely grossed out by Hunter not caring for expiration dates.

Secretly a hopeless romantic.

Omega

Learned her first curse word from Echo when he let one slip while driving.

Repeated the word in front of Hunter, who nearly had a heart attack.

Looks just like Crosshair when he was a kid.

Likes going out with Crosshair because he almost always gets her a little treat.

Gets annoyed by how many people in her class and some of their parents have a crush on one of her brothers.

Has tried to play matchmaker for her brothers before.

All of her brothers give amazing hugs, but she secretly thinks Echo’s are the best.

Batcher

She was a rescue dog.

She’s a gray pittie.

Her favorite person is Crosshair and she’s always following him around and is always at his side.

Goes crazy for cold cuts.

Was originally going to be brought to the shelter if they couldn’t find an owner, but Hunter agreed to keep her when he saw how happy she made Omega and Crosshair.

Her tail has a kink because it broke and didn’t heal properly.

Feel free to add more if you’d like! I have included some of these in my Modern AU works.

[wordy-little-witch]

Okay CoraBug hours where we look at canon, go HAH No, and carry on bc I Do Not See It

Buggy and Cora being absolutely the schmooziest, goofiest couple ever.

Cora and Buggy experimenting with makeup looks together.

They each have an Egg Each, but they have each other's eggs, or they both make two each so one can have the second egg on hand for long distance stints.

Long denden calls and writing letters to each other.

Sengoku having several attacks of just as many varieties because his son is dating a pirate and it's THAT pirate as well and he's So Fucking Angry bc Buggy isn't even all that bad, he HATES it-

Uncle Garp. The shenanigans there. Need I say more?

Shanks telling Buggy about Luffy and it goes "my brother adopted the grandson of my boyfriend's honorary uncle" and you can see the smoke coming from his ears.

Cora and Buggy were childhood sweethearts, and Shanks ABSOLUTELY gave Cora a shovel talk. Roger also gave Cora a shovel talk. Rayleigh played psychological warfare as a test (Cora passed).

They do shows together and their favorites are acrobatics and aerials.

Buggy has forbade Cora from fire stunts, so Cora simply watches Buggy do them and drools respectfully. (In his defense, Buggy is VERY skilled with batons and dragon staffs.)

Devil Fruits have something they need to Feed or things that Feed the fruits. For some, it's foods, some it can be abated with tobacco. Cora uses his cigarettes and Buggy runs on sugar.

Cora is actually a very clean person and prefers unscented soaps, he just has a skill for always looking freshly mugged in an alleyway. Buggy meanwhile is a neat freak who changes up his soaps frequently, but always within a certain brand/maker rotation bc he has sensitive skin.

Drawbacks Of Devil Fruits My Beloved - they're both more lethargic in highly humid weather, or in the rain. Cora's sleepier overall when stuff gets to that point, but Buggy runs a higher risk of getting sick as a result.

Buggy sometimes has Bad Brain Days, be it an episode or he's overstimulated. Regardless, when he needs Space, he'll shimmy under Cora's feathered coat and Cora will cast a bubble for them with just enough muted input to calm Buggy down but not trigger his intrusive thoughts.

Likewise, when Cora is in Cover And Perform Mode, Buggy will gently lead him away and pull the other down to his chest, ear over his heart, and will just... talk. Random, unimportant things like "Oh I heard dinner will be this tonight" or "I've been thinking of getting x, y, z tools for the ring". Just stuff to ground him, she he isn't alone, that things are okay and fine and safe.

They have prank wars. Ritchie always wins. Nobody knows how.

Cora will straight up scruff Buggy like a cat when he gets angry and stabby.

Buggy will climb Cora like a tree when he feels playful.

<><><><> Bonus Incorrect Quotes <><><><>

Buggy: They call it committing murder because it's a commitment. It's stronger than marriage.

Cora:

Buggy:

Cora: babe, no-

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Cora: I could kill you if I wanted.

Buggy: Yeah? So could any other human being. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren't special

Cora:

Buggy:

Cora: I love you-

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Buggy: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*

Cora: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?

Buggy: I—

Buggy: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

Cabaji, who just wanted to eat his lunch in peace:

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Buggy: BE A BETTER PERSON!

Cora: WHY?!

Buggy: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Cora: *sighs*

Buggy: You bored?

Cora: Yeah.

Buggy: Wanna start drama for no reason?

Cora: I thought you’d never ask.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Cora: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Buggy: This is a lie.

Buggy: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie.

Buggy: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Buggy: What’s your favorite color?

Cora: Stop asking stupid questions. Ask me something logical and mature.

Buggy: How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of sulfuric acid at STP?

Cora: My favorite color is pink.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Context: Roger and Garp having a play date, Shanks and Mihawk are sitting to the side while Buggy is doing smth mundane across the beach when Cora descends on the swordmen

Cora: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Buggy is? Because Buggy is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.

Mihawk:

Shanks:

Cora:

Mihawk: wh-

Shanks: YEAH!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Buggy: I'm very scary.

Cora: You're about as scary as a wet kitten.

Buggy: Wet kittens are cute, at least I've got that going for me.

Cora: And small.

Buggy:

Buggy: ...Yeah, yeah. I guess.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Buggy: Live fast, die young, leave behind a pretty corpse! That’s what I always say!

Cora: You should say something else.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Cora: What’s your body count?

Buggy: Do you mean sex or murder?

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Cora, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with several kids one day?

Buggy: …

Buggy: What’s in the box?

Cora: What woul-

Buggy: Cora, what’s in the box?

Cora: I think you know.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Buggy: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

Cora: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

[burning-academia-if]

re: internet speed: hang in there!! your update will save me🙏🏻

I just got done with a long road trip (Massachusetts to North Carolina; about a 12 hour trek!) to visit family, and am physically drained but mentally wide awake- which is why I am up at 3:15am, excited to start a new save when it drops!!

to bring this back to the game- if you don't mind- would the RO's (poly included) ever do a road trip of this length with MC, while dating? would anyone overprepare, or outright refuse, perhaps unless MC genuinely couldn't fly for some reason?

(... dare I even consider what chaos would unfold if they managed to get like, a party bus for a group trip lmao)

Hi sorry to the prompts in my inbox the past week, got obviously sidetracked by the update lol I hope you got some rest after that trip!

also imagine all the ROs+MC going on a road trip together? 52 killed and 138 injured

Rook: He would thrive on a roadtrip, even if you threw him in the most cramped car imaginable and made him drive (pro tip: don't let him drive). He is chronically under prepared but he manages anyway. Hopefully MC is better prepared then he is

Beck: Over packs as a "just in case" type of thing. Stops maybe a little too frequently for gas as a just in case kind of thing. Is pretty comfortable throughout the trip and knows when to rotate driving as needed so neither of you feel too awful

Rhea: She would do her best but I don't think she'd fair well lol she hasn't ever driven so long so she has no idea how to prepare for it and would be asking you constantly before the trip. This is one of the few planning things you'd have to be in charge of

Zoe: They might be reluctant at first, especially since they're not the most comfortable driving and have really only driven locally. I imagine they'd accidentally get you both lost at one point and you're both just bent over the phone like "??? Where are we???" Very stressful but it kinda becomes a funny memory later

Lars: This has got to be the most serious roadtrip you've ever been on. He's focused only on point a to point b. You'll stop to grab food or gas, but doesn't spare a moment for sight seeing unless you pull out the Annoying Tactic (or just look really sad about it lmaO). At least you're guaranteed to get there safely

???: They have no idea how to drive or what a roadtrip even is so that's all on you lol. I think they'd make so many comments throughout that it makes the time go by fast though, and they'd probably be playing like word games with you or things similar periodically throughout the trip

Poly:

Rook/Beck: Beck makes up for Rook's carelessness. There's the occasional bickering along the way (kinda like a married couple lol) but it all feels light hearted and goofy and time goes by surprisingly fast.

Rook/???: This is the most chaotic roadtrip you'll ever be on. A whole lot of detours and distractions and wondering how you made it to your destination alive (it was because of you, probably). Despite the chaos it's also very fun and like an adventure

Rhea and Zoe: The two actually figure out the roadtrip thing a lot better together then they do apart. It's a very cozy trip with the occasional stop and sight seeing, with conversations that ebb and flow. It's a fine time

[eurydices-carnation774]

INFODUMP TIME!!!

So a few weeks or so ago me and my friend @likesaly were discussing Hadestown and we accidentally created a modern/influencer AU and it’s been rotating in my head ever since

Ignore if some things are a little out of character. I do not care because this is me being self indulgently cringey

Minor spoilers and a few (vague) NSFW references under the cut

-Eurydice

Eurydice is a tumblr girlie, and we all know it I fear. She posts a lot of outfit stuff that accidentally gets reposted to Pinterest. She also, often shit talks Hades on tumblr and screenshots his twitter posts and reuploads them onto here and just calls him a bitch. These ALSO get reposted onto Pinterest.

I don’t think she particularly falls under any specific alt genre, but falls into TikTok’s “Dommy mommy” cliche because of the black dress and combat boots.

She frequently posts about stupid shit Orpheus is doing and then later updates on how he somehow made the entire house smell like mangos (he made ramen with monster instead of water)

Definitely semi popular blog on tumblr

-Orpheus

He posts about playing guitar on TikTok! However, this has accidentally caused the issue of his TikTok comments being filled with:

“Weird way to propose”

“Omg his hands”

And on and on. You know the comments

Anyways, he later posted a video with Eurydice and mentioned that they were dating in the caption and instead got the:

“I hate couples being happy”

“I hope y’all find out you’re cousins”

Comments. Orpheus cannot win

He makes random food combos on occasion, Eurydice hates him for this one. She will always willingly try it but also hates that he keeps making the house smell like disgustingly sweet fruit or just burnt.

-Hades

Posts about his shit politics takes (likely higher up in politics standpoints. Idk I don’t pay attention) and his wife, that’s it

Him and Eurydice are always in a weird cross platform fight between twitter and tumblr

Eurydice posted a photo of Orpheus once and he screenshotted it and reposted it with the caption

“Why is your boyfriend a wet rag of a man”

-Persephone

Runs an Instagram page about plants, except when you check her story it’s always about something that happened while she was drunk

Calls hades out on why he needs to stop the capitalism twitter page

He won’t listen

Her and Eurydice post photos together sometimes!

Hermes:

That one guy who goes stupidly popular once every 3 months for posting a stupidly funny video

Doesn’t spend much time on social media, but when he does he’s viral for 3 weeks

[mary-luce]

TL Fun - Date Night

Rhage: I am looking for that someone that can take care of me.

Mary: *Looks around ...* Oh? Is that so? Has that /someone/ come forward yet?

Rhage: *Looks you up and down with a sly smile.* Oh, My Mary yes, you have.

Mary: *Points to myself.* Me??? Ohhhh, I thought you were looking for /someone/ ELSE.

Rhage: You are my other someone. *Wraps my arm around you.*

Mary: *Smiles* Oh I see. I thought maybe I wasn't enough for you and you were looking for someone "new".

Rhage: Oh, no sweetheart. You are my everything. *Leans over and takes a long whiff of your gorgeous hair.” I’ve missed you.

Mary: I've missed you too. You have been on rotation too long. *I move in closer and rest my head against your chest.*

Rhage: *Wraps my arms around you and holds your head against my chest. Kisses you on top of your head.* I’m ready for some well-deserved time off. And some time to take care of My Mary so I can treat you right.

Mary: Oh? What do you have in mind, my Beast?

Rhage: Some dinner. Maybe a movie and mint choc chip ice cream. To top it off a little Die Hard

Mary: *Giggles* Dinner, of course. That's a given. Mint chocolate chip ice cream is also a given and of course, Die Hard. Sure, honey. Whatever you want.

Rhage: What would you like to do? *Looking down at my beautiful Mary.*

Mary: Let's do your idea. I don't mind. I just want to be with you and hang out.

Rhage” *Pulls you close and holds you.* You are the best shellen around. A great female of worth. I love you.

Mary: *Blushes* Love you too. Let's get something to eat. I'm actually quite hungry.

Rhage: Ok, I made the plans. *Grins* You choose the place.

Mary: *Ponders for a moment.* Perhaps we can get #Fritz to make some burgers and fries for us and then, in addition for you, ... steak, tacos, spaghetti and meatballs. He can bring it to our room ... I'm not feeling being out in the world right now.

Rhage: *Nuzzles your neck.* It’s like you can read my mind shellen. *Kisses your neck.* Maybe after I have a Mary appetizer then work on some other food. Then ice cream and a movie. While I hold you more.

Mary: *My body starts to warm under your touch and I shiver slightly forgetting the food all together.* Mary appetizer, huh? Mmmmm ... yes please ...

Rhage: *Plop on the couch in the den of the mase and bring you down with me.* Unless you want to start here. *I take your face in my hands and rub your nose with mine.* What do you think?

Mary: *My mind goes blank for a moment as I feel my hellren's body underneath me, feeling his nose against mine.* Hmmmm ... uh ...

Rhage: *Kisses you tenderly.* What do you think Mary? *Kisses your neck breathing you in.* Breathe My Mary.

Mary: *The sensitivity in my neck strikes nerves that are connected all the way down my body to my lower regions as I feel myself getting wetter.* Huh? *My mind finally hears his command and I take a deep breath of air.*

Rhage: Do you want to start here or go to our room and wait for #Fritz to bring dinner? After I have my Mary appetizer. *I grin and I feel the warmth of the beast start to stir as I start to smell the wet aroma of my shellen. My eyes start glow.* We have missed you Mary.

Mary: *I can barely breathe much less think and decipher the words my hellren is saying. I try to clear my head but my body just continues to rub up and down his hard abs gaining friction where I need it most.* Hmmm ... mmm ... *Then a glow makes my eyes open.* Oh ... hello ...

Rhage: We need you to decide Mary. *I shake my head, letting myself get carried way.* I got a little carried away, I’ll make the choice for us then I will carry you to our room, I call #Fritz dinner please upstairs in one hour. *I kiss your forehead and scoop you up.*

Mary: Uh ... huh ... *I say breathlessly as his body heat warms me from the inside out as I continuously grind against him searching for relief. It's been so long ...*

Rhage: Breathe my Mary. *I take the stairs two at a time and straight to our suite. I lay you on the bed and take my daggers off as they make a thump on the floor and unload my guns and pull my shirt off. Layover you and start on my Mary appetizer.* Don’t forget to breathe.

Mary: *My mind clears as my body registers cold air and my back against the mattress in our room. I look up and see my beautiful male above me. I reach for his t-shirt to take off and remember to breath.* Uh huh ... ok. Take this off baby ...

Rhage: *As you help me take off my shirt I lean over and kiss on your neck I unbutton your shirt and open it up and unclasp your bra, and start to work my way around. I slide up your skirt. Then I work on unfastening my leathers and drop them down to the floor. Climb back on.* You good?

Mary: *My nipples go hard at the cold air of the room as I feel my skirt bunch up on my stomach. I watch with heavy eyes and nod as his leathers hit the floor w/ a fascinating thud and as always my Rhage has gone commando, his phearsom cock springs up and still amazes me every time.*

Rhage: *Looking over my beautiful Mary, my eyes glowing again.* Our Mary, are you ok? *I take my hands and spread your shirt wide open looking at the beautiful body that lays in front of me.* Mary, we ache for you we both have missed you so much. *I lean back over and start at her ear.*

Mary: *The room glows from his eyes and I know I'm with his beastly dragon. We are well acquainted ... this is going to be so good. I feel his warm tongue lick my ear and down my neck ... all the nerves are electrified going straight down making me more and more wet.* Mmmmm ... yes.

Rhage: *I lay over top and working my way down, I lick down to her navel and make my way between her legs, taking her all in as I taste her I feel a jolt of energy and move back up I slide in and completely fill her my first thought … HOME.* Oh Mary, our Mary.

Mary: *My back arches from the bed as he reaches my apex and with a brief taste and then quickly he easily slides through my wetness and my body tightens around his member.* Oh, sooo good. Please ... *I beg for him to move. I'm already so close.*

Rhage: *Kissing your neck as I move in and out feeling your body tight around me bringing me to the brink.* There you go my beautiful Mary come for us. *I can feel her start to shake.* Take what you need. *I feel her hands on my back and my dragon stirs as he feels her too.*

Mary: *My body starts to spin and shudder as he moves and fills me to the brim. He is so big that I feel every ridge of his cock rub the inside of me and brings me closer to cumming. My nails dig into his skin and I can feel his dragon on his back moving as well.* So close ... *I pant.*

Rhage: *I work on the spot right behind her ear as I move in and out my breathing harder feeling her nails dig in, my eyes so bright I am pushed over the edge. I couldn’t believe I came hard. I look down and Mary and make sure she’s ok.* Oh my Mary are you ok? *I feel my dragon calm down.*

Mary: *When Rhage nibbles behind my sensitive ear, I cum violently as he fills me with his essence. As I come down from my high I hear his concern.* Mmmm hmmm ... *I start to tilt my pelvis up and down as I rub our fluids together between us where we are connected.*

Rhage: *I kiss her on the top of her nose.* I say you must have enjoyed that. *I feel her move and surprisily I’m still hard.* I will love you till I go to the fade. *I take her in my arms and hold her till I hear a knock on the door.* He does have perfect timing.

Mary: *Moans and I complain.* Tell him to come back in a bit ... *I lean up and bite his neck where I've seen the other couples kiss their mates hoping for more from my male. I lick up his neck and bite him again.*

Rhage: *I chuckle.* No ma’am I need to feed my female. *I stand pull my leathers on and smack her on the ass. I open the door looking at the best butler ever.* Ah, thanks man, you’re the best. *I take the cart with the buffet on it of just about anything anyone can want.* Dinner honey.

Mary: *I quickly cover my body with the duvet as Rhage opens the door to bring in the food. I could smell the food and my tummy does start to rumble.* Yay.

[prep4tomoro]

5 Minute Emergency Prep Projects for People with No Time:

One excuse used for not preparing for an emergency is that it takes a lot of time. True enough. Anything you pursue with passion and intensity is going to take some time. On the other hand, here is a list of preparation activities that can be undertaken in just five minutes. Preparing for a disaster or crisis or even an economic collapse does not have to be an insurmountable task. Breaking tasks down in to manageable chunks will make the job less chore-like and less of a burden. As a bonus, when you are done, you will feel the sense of satisfaction that comes from knowing that you have done something to secure your safety and well-being if it all goes to heck. Make every day a prepping day; even if it's for only 5 minutes!

1. Purchase a prepping notebook or binder to record information needed in the event of an emergency.

2. Wash out empty juice jugs, swish with a bit of bleach and fill them with water for an emergency. Be sure to date them so that you that you can rotate them on 6-month basis.

3. Place a pair of shoes, socks, work gloves, a whistle, and a light stick or flashlight with batteries under your bed for use during or after an emergency.

4. Talk to family members about how to re-unite with each other following a disaster.

5. Choose an out-of-state contact person that is willing to be a relay point for information after-the-fact to your other family members and loved ones. (Following a disaster, telephone lines to an out-of-state location may work when local calls do not.)

6. Introduce yourself to a neighbor you have not met. Exchange emergency telephone numbers.

7. Purchase a manual can opener on your next visit to the store.

8. Fill empty milk jugs or other plastic containers with water and store them in your freezer. The frozen jugs will keep your food colder for longer in the event of a power outage. The water can also serve as a backup source for cleaning or sanitation purposes.

9. Read Food Safety When the Grid Goes Down and print out the food safety charts at the at the FoodSafety.gov website. Attach them to the inside of a cupboard door so you have them handy after a power outage or disaster.

10. Mark your calendar with a date one year from now so that you remember to rotate your canned goods out of storage.

11. Purchase extra canned (or dehydrated [preferred]) goods each time you visit the grocery store.

12. Locate your utility shutoff valves and review the instructions for turning them off. Place a shut-off tool by the door nearest to them

13. Test your smoke alarms.

14. Make a list of all of your prescription drugs along with dosages and keep the list in your emergency kit.

15. Take digital photos of each room in your house. Take five minutes for each room and do you best to capture as much as you can. This will facilitate any after-the-fact insurance claims.

16. Write down your insurance policy numbers and your agent’s phone number, and put them in your wallet and in your emergency kit.

17. Add $1 a week to your emergency cash fund. If you can afford it, add $5 per week (or more) to the fund.

18. Make digital copies of your important documents and store them on a flash drive. 19. Make a backup copy (onto a flash drive) of the data on your computer hard drive and give it to a friend or relative to store for you. In computer terms, this is called an "off site backup".

20. Locate a source of water outside of your home such as a lake, pond or stream.

21. Learn to cook a pot of rice.

22. Download free prepping, survival and homesteading publications from these sites or other prepper sites you find:

   [Site 1]    [Site 2]    [Site 3]    [Site 4]    [Site 5]

23. Call (800-480-2520) or email FEMA (fema-publications-warehouse@fema.gov) to order a free copy of their excellent printed book "Are You Ready Guide to Preparedness". For more information about this publication or others, see the list of Free, dowloadable, FEMA Publications.

24. Practice starting a fire using a bit of dryer lint, a cotton ball soaked in petroleum jelly or a flint and steel.

25. Sow some seeds, fruits and veggies that is, to start a garden.

26. Get to know (practice) how to properly use one of your emergency tools (flint fire starter, multi-tool, water filter, tent, etc.).

27. Start working, or improve, on one of the 14-Points Emergency Preparedness Checklist items.

Reference Link

[11-Cs Basic Emergency Kit] [14-Point Emergency Preps Checklist] [Immediate Steps to Take When Disaster Strikes] [Learn to be More Self-Sufficient] [The Ultimate Preparation] [P4T Main Menu]

This blog is partially funded by Affiliate Program Links and Private Donations. Thank you for your support.

[anyspaze]

Things to Consider While Planning a Food Storage Warehouse

It goes without saying that a food warehouse manager has a lot on his plate, and he has to work really hard. High stock turnovers, varying storage temperatures, and the maintenance of all of that are required for various foodstuffs and sanitation. This helps in the creation of a fast-paced work environment. For example, some of the products could be kept in wire cages on shelves with minimal temperature needs, while others require even below-freezing temperatures.

Small businesses that are involved in the food sector need vendors and suppliers that are partners who are already invested in their growth. It should be noted that they can not survive if vendors overpromise and are under-delivered. Most crucially, small businesses can not always be treated like they are too small to be laid emphasis on.

You need a warehousing partner that understands your business, specifically if your business is small in size. Anyspaze will be your best option if you want to get your hands on the best warehouse for food storage, as we partner with clients to take care of all their needs so that they can upscale their businesses.

5 Things to Consider Before Planning a Food Storage Warehouse

Cold Storage

Food producers demand refrigerated storage and possibly even frozen storage facilities to store dry food. However, it should be noted that some storage requirements are seasonal, with the most significant need being during the harvest for people who grow food or around a holiday for food manufacturers. Seasonal foods need flexible storage solutions that a lot of warehouses are not able to provide. Anyspaze is well-known for offering the best cold food storage warehouse to businesses that require refrigerated warehousing.

Relationship With Clients

It is important for you to consider before hiring a warehousing company whether the company even feels like it is working together with you toward growth. They should have a highly cooperative staff and should be very caring about the sensitivity of the business.

Food-Grade Warehousing

Food-grade warehouses are required in order to ensure that the proper health and sanitation of the food are maintained. This clearly means that the warehouse you are considering storing your food should be free from leaks, contaminants, and pests. In addition to this, you must ensure that the interior space of the warehouse is clean and the staff is trained to maintain sanitation, food safety, and pest control routines. Anyspaze has a special food storage facility that assures that the stored food items in Anyspaze’s warehouse will remain completely safe and top quality.

Location of the Warehouse

Small businesses dwell on convenience, and this is specifically true for warehousing requirements, as it requires frequent access to ingredients or finished products. Warehouses should be located at a location that is easily accessible from highways and allows the entrance of big trucks too.

Anyspaze has made its warehouses conveniently located in an area where it is easily accessible to the trucks.

Tracking Lots and Storage Considerations

A food warehouse is required to have a robust method of keeping track of all the date codes and lots. It is crucial not only for facilitating the rotation in the inventory and making sure that the facility utilises the FIFO methodology along with quick identification and removal of any recalled lots.

Like any other warehouse, effective utilisation of the space needs careful planning. It should also be noted that the type of racks used in a warehouse helps in ensuring that you are able to reap the fullest out of the existing space.

Summing Up

Being involved with the food warehousing business, you must always be concerned about the production of the products and sales. What comes to your service as a saviour is a flexible warehousing partner that will be assisting you with the warehousing services.

Anyspaze is an industry-leading food-grade storage provider and is certainly one of the best 3PL companies in India that are capable of differentiating itself from other warehousing providers associated with food grade.

Our expertise is not restricted to transportation, contract operations, and managed warehouse services. Contact Anyspaze today to get your hands on the most efficient food storage warehousing services and scale your business by gaining a competitive edge.

Source: https://ecommercewarehouse.wordpress.com/2022/12/10/things-to-consider-while-planning-a-food-storage-warehouse/

[levisblackbabe]

Headcanons of Aot boys with a black gf

Characters: Eren Jeager , Armin Arlert, Levi Ackerman, Connie Springer and Jean Kirstein x fem black reader (separate)

Genre: Mostly fluff, slight angst, deffo crack, (everyone is +18)

Warnings: Language, a bit toxic, slightly suggestive

Wc: 1500+ (Each character is about 300-400 words)

Eren Jeager (The lowkey Toxic one)

· Lowkey scared of y/n because she reminds him of Levi when she is angry, and he knows she will beat his ass if necessary

· Started out as friends but he has always liked y/n

· He initially asked you out as a dare and you only found out after 6 weeks where you broke up 😐

· This legit started the cycle of breaking and getting back together (he never cheated though just a lil bit toxic)

· He is very possessive and controlling which also lead to your break ups

· Even though you have your ups and down he is mostly a good boyfriend

· He plays basketball so every time he is practising on his own, he asks you to be there for rebounds (in reality he just wants you near him baso 24/7)

· Loves your smell so he steals those items might be your lotion, hair products or perfume

· Loves your natural hair and just touches it without permission after a couple times you just gave up telling him off

· He was confused on why you changed your hair so often

· When you guys first started dating you came with box braids rather then your usual bun and he deadass thought you were somebody else 💀he was so confused on why this stranger was touching him up (this mf loyal cuz he was ready to punch you)

· He was soooo scared of meeting your parents (had to call Armin to ask for advice)

· Your family at first didn’t like him cuz of the constant breaking up but they grew to tolerate him (however your older brother doesn’t)

· Loves taking pictures of you during facetime, golden hour or whenever and saves them in a folder (simp)

· Loves your cooking soo much that he goes collect tubber ware of food worth a week and stocks up his fridge

· He loves when you speak to him in another language so he pisses you off so you can cuss him out in your native tongue

· He barely calls your name its either babe or some cringey name like bubbs or something (however if you hear your full name leave his month rip)

Armin Artlet (The simp)

· SHY BAE that’s it

· He was your English tutor and has always had a crush on you

· He wanted to ask you out on a date, but he shy and thought you won’t like white boys

· You asked him instead cuz you fell for his ocean blue eyes (I mean who wouldn’t)

· In the beginning you had to take the initiative a lot cuz he wanted to respect your boundaries but after a while he grew comfortable and took the lead

· He LOVES your natural hair and knows your wash day schedule, so he always offers to help anyway possible

· He was absolutely scared of meeting your family cuz once again he white 😐 however everyone loved him

· He most definitely invited to the family reunion

· Your aunts adore him and they always talking about you as a baby to him

· He always doing late night ft calls with you, and he WON’T hang up cuz he wants to see your face when you wake up

· Armin is a giver, so he always offers to buy thigs for your and just buy gifts at least once a week

· He also loves cooking for and with you (once you had a cooking competition and technically, he is a better cook, but he let you win)

· He likes sending random pictures of things you like and remind him of you

· He happily takes pictures of you (photographer Armin)

· You guys have a pet turtle called Mickey 🐢

· His nicknames for you are beautiful, pretty and stuff like that

· Just overall fluff

Levi Ackerman (the co-worker)

· You guys have been co-workers for 2 years actually

· You thought he hated you but in reality, he does he just acts stingy towards cuz he is Levi 😐 (some serious enemies to lovers vibe)

· He didn’t confess and never would have but due to a drunken Hange letting it slip during a hang out with your co-workers you found out

· He deadass ignored you for a week like if he saw you, he would turn into Houdini and disappear

· However, you once caught him distracted and forced him to talk to you

· Reluctantly so he spoke the truth and asked you out (thought he seemed angry about it)

· Now you guys have happily been dating

· Everyone in your office finds you lucky cuz Levi is the finest man in the office heck the world (if he was real, I would leave my bf 😭)

· He actually has a 5-year-old daughter (DILF! Levi) and told you why he never said anything about his feeling was because you know single dad and shiz

· After 6 weeks you met his babygirl and she is the cutest she loves you considering she never had much of a mother figure in her life

· His daughter is mixed so he knows how to deal with natural hair thanks to YouTube, so he sometimes helps with yours (such a good dad)

· But now that you are here you offer to do any protective styles and give him tips

· Levi isn’t very open, but he expresses his love to you with physical touch, acts of service or gifts

· However, he speaks very softly to his daughter he seems different

· Due to his love language being touch he loves petting your hair (only when you have protective styles) and putting his head on it ( he is tall in my head okay)

· He loves having you in close proximity to you and just somehow touching you

· Him and your dad really hit it off because they both have daughters

· Your aunts are lowkey infatuated with him

· Loves making breakfast for you but due to your busy schedule he just buys your coffee in the morning

· He will never tell you, but he has trouble falling asleep but when you sleepover he actually has a full nights rest (he has silk sheets just for you)

· He might seem closed off, but you know he loves you due to the little things

Connie Springer (the bestfriend)

a/n I just want to say Connie will be of Hispanic heritage for the sake of this headcanon also because all the fanfics I read about him he is portrayed as Hispanic I just write him like this however this isn’t to offend anyone or play onto stereotypes.

· You guys have been besties since freshman year high school

· You hooked up freshman year of college and been dating ever since

· Nothing really changed in your dynamic other than the fact yall kiss and do the deed

· Like you legit call each other insults though Connie likes calling slime and bubbs

· You jokingly calling each other baby mama and baby daddy (manifesting kids but whatever)

· Speaking of kids, you have plushies that you call kids and rotate them around (they are from your arcade date)

· Loves being on call with you when he is playing because it helps calm him down and not break his tv (anger issues much)

· HYPEMAN if you are looking fine asf he will hype you up so much and offer to take pictures for the gram

· You have a joint TikTok account where you reaching 10k and just do dumb couple stuff its cringey but cute (Same goes for your joint spam account where you guys just do silly things together)

· He always asks to do your hair which you repetitively deny keeping in mind last time you let him he nearly ripped off half your scalp

· Late nights drives happen a lot so you can vent and have a heart to heart under the stars, you guys also just vibe to the music and might spend hours in silence looking at the city lights and dancing

· If you fall asleep on him or in the drive back he becomes really cute and soft and just says you are beautiful and that he loves you in Spanish (ugh my heart)

· He only speaks Spanish when he wants to be cute and knows you won’t understand

· Your family have always liked him so when you guys started dating everyone was like ‘FINALLY’ (same with his family)

· Some type of kid’s movie marathon once a month cuz being a child is great

· Its just overall jokes

Jean Kirstein (Mr Doesn’t Give Up)

· Kept asking you out for a year until you gave in, he was so excited he kissed you straightaway

· He was so nervous in your first date, but he was a gentleman opening doors etc (whoever said chivalry was dead 🤨)

· Nearly said I love you on the first date considering he has liked you for a year, but he held it in

· However, he did get a kiss goodnight on the cheek (he was grinning like a fool)

· Loves the fact that you change your hair so much and so often that he happily gives recommendations and offers to help you out

· He is the overprotective type of boyfriend so he was reluctant on you meeting his friends especially Eren, but you reassured him that you wouldn’t be swayed (still icky about you hanging with Eren though)

· He adores playing pc games with you and you have a little family in Sims4 which is cute

· He now has a skincare routine because you introduced him to it (he said he didn’t need one cuz he has a ‘handsome face’ but he secretly started one lol

· He also steals your body lotion and legit smells like you (smh)

· His wrist always has a silk crunchie in case you need it, and, in his car, he has a bag with essentials for you such as pads, edge control, etc

· He calls you cute pet names but also the occasional insults as a joke

· He is lowkey rich, so he happily spoils you to fancy dinners and more

· He also likes going back to the basics so picnic dates in the spring and summer are common he says he cooks them but in reality, it’s his mum

· Your mum absolutely adores him cuz he is a ‘charmer’

· He likes facetiming you when he is working out so he can show up, but you just ignore him and continue doing what you are doing

· Like Eren he has a folder filled of mugs of you

Back to Navigation

[poisoned-peppermint]

Part 4 of incorrect quotes because i feel obligated to make more due to the sheer number of people who liked it

Dream: My dearest beloved fuckos, is a fun, gender-neutral way to begin a speech

George: See also, esteemed bastards

Bad: Gentlefolk, Ferals, and Domesticated cryptids. 

Sapnap: My fellow yees and haws

~~~~~~~

Techno:Hey I know skyrim is revered as a classic but are we just going to ignore the fact that the entire game only had like 3 voice actors

Wilbur:Stop right there criminal cum

Techno:My ancestors are smiling at me, bastard, can you say the same

~~~~~~~

Foolish:When's your bedtime :)

Purpled: Whenever I next collapse in purely up to the gods

~~~~~~

Ranboo:Human skin is a fursuit for skeletons 

Tubbo: i’m going to debone you like a fucking trout

~~~~~~

Bad:You’re enough

Bad: love yourself!!!!!!! or suffer my wrath!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dream:And by wrath I mean love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bad:no I mean wrath!!!!! You reading this, if you don't love yourself I’ll beat you with a stick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~

Bad:I hope everyone is today well! And tomorrow!!!! After that you’re on your own.

~~~~~~

Bad:what am I supposed to do all day while you’re at work

Skeppy:I don’t know, what do you normally do while I’m gone

Bad: wait for you to get back

~~~~~~

Velvet:For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5am on the day I can sleep in

Ant:Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

Velvet:Early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch

~~~~~~

Tubbo: 3:23 AM make a wish

Ranboo: I wish that you would go to sleep

Tuddo: Yeah well I wish I grew an inch taller every day as you get an inch shorter until you’re as flat as as a piece of paper and I’m 11 feet tall

Ranboo: You’re going to die of a mixture of skeletal instability and heart disease.

Tubbo: Yeah but I’ll look good while doing it.

~~~~~~

Bad:Disrespect me again and I’ll determine your bodies resonant frequency and play a jaunty horn solo that boils your miserable organs inside out 

~~~~~~

Quackity: If I were dating you?  Well, heh. Let’s just say horses wouldn't be called horses anymore

Karl: hey what the honk does this mean…..I’m shaking what does this mean!

~~~~~~

Skeppy: Are you ok?

Bad wrapped in a burrito blanket drinking his 6th cup of coffee: Yes, this is exactly what mental stability looks like

~~~~~~

Sam: My hands are cold

Ponk: *holds their hands*

Ponk: better?

Sam: My lips are cold too

~~~~~~

George at dream’s funeral: can I have a moment alone with them?

Sapnap: of course *leaves*

George leaning over dream’s casket: Now listen, I know you’re not dead.

Dream: yeah no shit

~~~~~~

Skeppy, jokingly: I should have Bad kill you for that.

Bad, peering around the corner: Who do I need to kill?

Skeppy: Wh- no, I was just kidding around.

Bad, pulling out a switchblade: No, who’s bothering you

~~~~~~

Bad *watching the news*: Some idiot tried to fight a squid at the aquarium.

Skeppy *covered in ink*: Maybe the squirt was being a dick.

~~~~~~

Peacock: *spreads feathers at Bad*

Skeppy: It’s trying to attract a mate

Bad, extremely confused: *shyly lifts top*

Skeppy: No!

~~~~~~

Sapnap: Karl, do you eat olives? My dad wants to know

Karl: No, I hate olives. Olives are the spawn of satan. I hate olives so much my mom forced me to live in Mount olive for the rest of my childhood as a curse from the olive gods. Do you understand how much olives have ruined my life? I'm so offended that you asked me that have some consideration for people who have been abused by olives please!

Sapnap: K A R L ……….they’re just olives!!?

Karl: JUST OLIVES EXCUSE!

~~~~~~

Tommy: If you’re bored you can simply close your eyes and rotate a cow in your mind. It’s free and the cops can’t stop you

~~~~~~

Wilbur: is there anyone even named sheldon irl?

Tubbo: my class turtle from 6th grade :)

Wilbur: that’s a turtle

Tubbo: When god sings with his creations, will a turtle not be part of the choir?

~~~~~~

Ranboo: No bcuz why do ppl like salad?? What’s so good about it

Tubbo: chew leaf like god intended

Ranboo: No

Tubbo: Abandon god and see what he does next time you lift your hands in prayer

~~~~~~~

Tommy: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly.

Wilbur, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

~~~~~~

Quackity: So according to the cease and desist order I got, apparently you can’t ‘legally’ be a lawyer if your license is ‘cut out of a cereal box’.

~~~~~~

Puffy: If you had too, what would you give up food or sex?

Bad: Sex.

Skeppy: Seriously, answer faster.

Bad: I’m sorry honey, when they said sex I wasn’t thinking about sex with you.

Skeppy: It’s like a giant hug.

Puffy: Ant, what about you? What would you give up sex or food?

Ant: Food.

Puffy: Okay, how about sex or dinosaurs?

Ant: ……...Oh my God it’s like the movie Sophie’s Choice.

Gumi: What about you Velvet? What would you give up sex or food?

Velvet: Oh… um… I don’t know, it’s too hard.

Gumi: No, you gotta pick one.

Velvet: Um, food… no, sex… no, food…sex… food. Ugh! I don’t know! I want both! I- I want Antfrost on bread!

~~~~~~~

Tommy, holding a gun: If the conspiracies about life being a simulation are true WHOEVERS CONTROLLING MY SIM I JUST WANNA TALK.

~~~~~~~

Bad: Why are you guys acting like this?

Boomer: Oh, we’re not acting. We really are like this.

~~~~~~

Techno: Dream has only knocked me out three times this week. Our friendship is really developing.

~~~~~~

Tommy: You’re pathetic!

Wilbur: You’re pathetic-er!

Techno: You’re both losers.

~~~~~~

Bad: I wish I could help you, but I shorn’t.

Skeppy: Bad, please!

Bad: What part of shorn’t don’t you understand?

~~~~~~

Tubbo: Why did you leave Wrestlemania on for Michal?

Ranboo: They need to learn how to protect us.

~~~~~~

Antfrost: I regret getting dragged into your heterosexual tomfoolery.

~~~~~~

Bad: Strawberry milk doesn’t taste like strawberry OR milk.

Skeppy: Go the fuck to sleep Bad!

Bad: LANGUAGE!!

~~~~~~

Ranboo: Tubbo, please calm down.

Tubbo: I asked for two large fries!

Tubbo: *dumps fries onto table*

Tubbo: But all they did was give me a MILLION FUCKING LITTLE ONES!

~~~~~~

Bad: That was the worst throw ever. Of all time.

Skeppy: Not my fault. Somebody put a wall in the way.

~~~~~~

Wilbur: When you’ve been on the internet for as long as I have, you develop thick skin.

Tommy: Navy blue isn’t your color.

Wilbur: Navy blue brings out my eyes you prick! *Chases after Tommy*

~~~~~~

Bad: *Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere*

Puffy: Where did you get that?.

Bad: My pocket.

Puffy: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?

Bad: Skills.

~~~~~~

Tubbo: I will come to your house after work and knock on your window at 11 AM. You will not open the curtains, knowing full well what awaits you, but the knocking only grows louder, more demanding. Finally it stops, your ears ringing. You nervously let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. You're safe now. Minutes pass by and you start to relax. And then you hear a knock at the front door. Like before, you stay still and clutch the blankets around you. You try to tell your self that it's just your imagination. Maybe the milk man? But why would he come so late? Everyone else was asleep, save for Naomi who was playing video games down stairs. To your relief, the knocking stops after a few. Minutes and you breath easy once more. Until you hear a knock on your bedroom door. You don't move. It's just your imagination. She isn't here. She can't be here. You tell yourself, shutting your eyes and willing yourself to sleep. The knock comes again, but with horror you realize that it came from the closet inside your room. You know that you have no choice. You get up, climbing out of bed with shaking limbs. You walk to the closest, trembling, and holding back the tears threatening to spill over your porcelain cheeks. You hesitate with your hand over the closet handle. Maybe it's just your imagination? She's not really there. You can go to sleep and laugh it off in the morning. Your naive thoughts are cut off by another, more demanding knock on the closet door, inches from your face. You know what you have to do. You open the closet door, and there she stands. Chuck e cheese, the mouse looms over you in the dim light. It's soulless eyes boor into you. It raises its arms, and you flinch as it begins to floss at lightning speed. Tears spill over your cheeks. This is the last thing you'll ever see.

Ranboo: Wait, Chuck e cheese’s pronouns are she/her? Trans Chuck e cheese? Good for her.

~~~~~~~~

Bad: Would you like something to drink? *They opened the fridge* We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper-

Quackity: Spiders?

Bad: Spiders it is then.

Quackity: No, that wasn’t-

*But they were already pouring him a brimming glass of spiders…

~~~~~~

Puffy : Make her pussy wet not her eyes.

Velvet : Make his dick hard not his life.

Punz : Break her bed not her heart.

Skeppy : Play with his boobs not his feelings. 

Ant : Get on his dick not his nerves.

Bad : Always salt your pasta while boiling it.

~~~~~~~

Wilbur: Bet you can’t eat 15 crayons!

Tommy: Bet you I can!

Phil: *sips coffee, checks to make sure 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading the paper*

~~~~~~~

Ant: We need a way to lure in new customers?

Ponk: Maybe we could have some fun, interactive events!

Skeppy: Badboyhalo bath water.

Bad: ABSOLUTELY NOT!

~~~~~~~~

Fundy: GET BACK HERE YOU DUMB FUCK!

Wilbur: LET ME RUN FROM THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS!

~~~~~~~~

Bad: Mint is just cold spicy.

Pummel party Squad: …

Gumi: What the actual fuck is wrong with you.

~~~~~~~~

Quackity: Isn’t it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?

~~~~~~~

Tommy: Why does my arm shake and turn bright red when I’m eating dirt?

Phil:

Phil: Why are you eating dirt?

Tommy: Did I ask you if I should eat dirt? No, so answer my question.

~~~~~~~

Tubbo: I wish I could control wasps and bees to sting my enemies.

Quackity: You’re too young to have enemies.

Tubbo: You don’t even know.

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Is there a cactus where your heart should be?

Puffy: What’s up your ass this morning!

Bad: *walks in* …Hi!!

Puffy: Hmm… nevermind.

Skeppy: WAIT NO!

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Ha! Don’t you know the trappers trap can trap the trapper?

Skeppy: I must be losing it, I’m quoting Bad.

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Bad, I sense hostility.

Bad: Good, because I hate you

~~~~~~~

Bad: Are you a painting?

Skeppy: What-?

Bad: Because I want to pin you to a wall.

Skeppy: OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY YOU WANTED TO HANG ME OR SOMETHING-

~~~~~~

Tommy: You’re giving me a sticker?

Phil: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”

Tommy: I’m not a preschooler.

Phil: Fine, I’ll take it back-

Tommy: I earned this, back off!

~~~~~~

Dream, sweating: George, there’s something I need to ask you-

George: Finally! You’re proposing!

Dream: How’d you know?

George: Dream, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

George: I even picked it up once

~~~~~~~~

*Bad and Skeppy looking at a locked gate into a park*

Bad: Aw. :(

Skeppy: You know what they say.

Bad: Please don’t-

Skeppy: BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate*

Bad: Frick-

~~~~~~~~

let me know if ya’ll want more <3

[caleiiiii]

mcytbers as subway workers because i work at subway and i said so

i wrote this all at like 1 am im sorry

subway terminology (at least where i work)

waste out -means an item cant, or isnt, being sold, like overbaked cookies or expired milk. gets written down on a list for tax returns or smth

freezer pulls -pulling items from the freezer to the walk in fridge so they can thaw for the upcoming days

POS system -the software used for ringing up food, has a bunch of options per type of sandwich

generally 2 shift rotations , each one has a shift lead which is ur main opener or closer

characters

dream 

makes sandwiches so fast. 

how ??? 

he wraps the sandwiches immaculately as well

definitely a main closer

george 

just. disappears during a rush 

only to be found two hours later STILL doing dishes

dream and sapnap are not pleased.

sapnap 

convinces dream to waste out bread for him so he can eat it

gives ppl he likes free cookies 

terrible at wrapping sandwiches

tommy 

always works with wilbur and tubbo. always. 

he HATES freezer pulls but if he has to he can be seen SPRINTING between the freezer and the fridge

also bad at wrapping sandwiches

does all the online orders for tubbo because he cant read them well

tubbo 

loves to bake the bread and cookies

got a complaint once because he read an online order wrong so tommy always does them

hates ringing people up but loves to make the sandwhiches

technoblade

only works like 1 shift a week but its the most goddamn productive shift of anyone.

always makes sure they are selling potato soup when hes working

another main closer

wilbur

always controls the radio in the store

always works with tubbo and tommy, drives them to work

bribes others so he doesnt have to do the dishes

main opener

philza

the manager

super chill about scheduling

turns a blind eye to people “accidently” dropping cookies and wasting them out

niki

a goddess at baking the bread and cookies

never burns anything ever

everybody wants to work with her shes so nice

fundy

is really good at ringing those ppl up with 28372 coupons

horrible at making sandwiches tho

the only one that knows how to fix the soda machine when it breaks

quackity

always gets asked to translate the writing on the boxes since its in spanish 95% of the time

loves stocking the milk cooler so he can take home the expired sodas n shit

always forgets to remind customers when stuff costs extra

schlatt

that one transfer from another store that does everything

slightly wrong.

its been long enough now that he should know better but nobody wants to correct him.

eret

has tons of pins on his hat, 10/10

really good at making the wraps

always says hello when customers enter

karl

the new hire

immediately taken under sapnaps wing, much to the chagrin of dream

much more bread is now wasted out.

bbh and skeppy

regulars that are just. always there

they know all the employee gossip and get discounts on food

phil is .5 seconds away from asking them if they want a job

normal shift schedules

wilbur, tommy, tubbo (day shift)

dream, george, sapnap (night shift)

eret, niki, fundy (day shift)

technoblade, quackity, schlatt (night shift)

karl mainly works with the dteam, but jumps around

random things

the cookie incident

once tubbo accidently overbaked like 2 dozen cookies

so he and tommy ate all of them during their shift

they did not come into work the next day.

dream and techno rivalry

dream and technoblade have a rivaly about who can close and leave the store the quickest

eventually they decide to time themselves and race eachother on their respective shifts

techno wins with a time of 3 minutes before theyre officially allowed to close.

they both get yelled at by phil

technoblade’s only mistake

the only mistake technoblade has made ever was accidently leaving the bread cabinet open overnight

wilbur, tubbo, and tommy find it in the morning and have to throw all the bread out

tommy and tubbo split the bread and each leave with a garbage bag full of subway bread

wilbur still wont let techno live it down.

hacker things

once fundy hacked the POS system to give him a 100% discount

used it for about a month before someone (quackity) accidently pressed the option and snitched to phil

luckily, he just sighed and reset the system

cookie dough

wilbur comes up with the idea to pop raw cookie dough in the microwave and eat it half baked

phil comes in one day only to make -direct eye contact- with tommy as he and tubbo lick cookie dough off of some deli paper

allows it to happen as long as they pay for the dough

subway garlic bread

on a really slow day niki and eret are goofing off and create

~subway garlic bread~

it instantly becomes a secret menu favourite among employees and regulars

the bet

once skeppy bet quackity and schlatt that they wouldnt start a fake argument during rush hour

skeppy recorded the whole thing

technoblade can be seen in the backround silently making sandwiches as quackity and schlatt scream at eachother about if quackity has a “flatty patty”

phil tries to be mad but sees all the tips they made and lets is slide

sacrifices

george is the one always sacrificed to deal with the crabby middle aged moms

its his punishment for not helping during the rush.

torture

sometimes for fun wilbur takes his meal break right before the dinner rush

tommy stares at him in fury the whole time.

betting pool

none of the employees can tell if bbh and skeppy are dating

its to the point that they keep a betting chart on a white board next to the “top failure of the week” spot

subway ghost

after a few freak instances wilbur is positive that the subway is haunted and convinces phil to let him do a séance after hours

he manages to convince half the staff that the store is haunted

(the ghost is drista or smth idk aksjdhajk)

top failure of the week

a tally on the white board in the back room of who dropped/wasted out thw most items

sapnap has the record top failure of the week, dropping a total of 42 loaves of bread in a week

schlatt got put on the board once. never again.

enamel pins

tubbo finds a enamel pin of a bee that he puts on his visor

its not technically allowed but phil lets him do it anyway :)

bandanas

tommy and tubbo take subway bandanas from the back room and initial them before trading with eachother

nobody comments that theyre not technically allowed to have a hat and a bandana

the war

at some point a rivalry breaks out between the day staff

wilbur, tommy, tubbo, niki, eret, and fundy

and the night staff

dream, sapnap, george (techno, karl, schlatt, and quackity stay out of it)

what starts out tame eventually leads to workers purposely messing up stuff for the next shift to deal with, like not stocking the fridge or mopping the floor 

at some point eret switches to the night shift

the day shift does not take it well.

 after about 2 weeks phil is forced to step in as the store quality starts to go downhill

he closes the store for a day and makes everyone clean it u

 techno watches from outside the windows with a bag of popcorn

pogway

tommy starts placing the stickers they use to wrap sandwiches everywhere with the words “pogway” on them

everyone can tell its his handwriting but no one can catch him placing the stickers

phil even checked the cameras, still no trace of him

subway gun

sometimes tommy goes around spraying others with a spray bottle full of water used on the bread

he calls it the “subway gun”

wilbur gets fed up hides it in the freezer overnight

thats all for now! if i come up with anything else i might add it lol

EDIT PART 2 IS NOW OUT

[bloody-bee-tea]

Low

Inspired by this art on Twitter, even though it has nothing to do with Mingcheng.

When Jiang Cheng opens the door and comes face to face with Nie Mingjue—and only Nie Mingjue—he fights the urge to slam the door in his face.

“Where’s Huaisang?” is the first thing out of Jiang Cheng’s mouth and he scolds himself for it, for being rude like this, but Nie Mingjue just renders him stupid whenever he sees him and usually it’s Nie Huaisang’s job to make sure Jiang Cheng maintains a sliver of his sanity.

But Nie Huaisang is not here and so Jiang Cheng’s sanity flew out the window the second he laid eyes on Nie Mingjue.

It’s a problem, Jiang Cheng will admit.

“He’ll be late, but he didn’t want me to wait for him,” Nie Mingjue says with a slight grimace. “I can—wait outside?” he asks as if Jiang Cheng would honestly kick him out.

“Don’t be stupid,” Jiang Cheng grumbles and steps aside to let Nie Mingjue in. “As if I would let you just wait outside.”

He might get increasingly stupid when he’s around Nie Mingjue, which more often than not leads to him being rude, but he’s not that rude. And besides. Just because Jiang Cheng can’t form a coherent sentence when he’s around Nie Mingjue doesn’t mean he doesn’t like to look at him.

“Thanks,” Nie Mingjue awkwardly says as he steps inside and Jiang Cheng realizes that for all that he knows Nie Mingjue just as long as Nie Huaisang, he can’t say they are friends.

They know each other and they have spent an insane amount of time together but Jiang Cheng wouldn’t call them friends.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t have friends that make his heart beat wildly away in his chest and that make his stomach swoop with just the hint of a smile and that shut his higher brain function off with just a look.

“You want something to drink?” Jiang Cheng asks, walking away towards the kitchen, where he gets back to preparing the food for that evening.

They’ve been doing these movie nights for years by now, always rotating between their places, and today it’s Jiang Cheng’s turn, so he has to provide dinner while Nie Huaisang and Nie Mingjue bring snacks and drinks.

It’s a tested method.

“I brought drinks,” Nie Mingjue says and lifts the bag he carries in his hand. “I’m good.”

“Alright,” Jiang Cheng shrugs and tries to pretend that he didn’t just got hot under the collar watching Nie Mingjue’s biceps move like that.

He sharply turns away, but he still hears Nie Mingjue open a can and Jiang Cheng does his best to ignore the fact that Nie Mingjue is probably watching him.

That thought is not doing anything good for his heart after all.

It works for about five seconds, until Nie Mingjue decides to pull out one of the chairs from the kitchen table and sits down and then Jiang Cheng is hyper-aware of his every movement.

“You’re just going to watch me cook?” Jiang Cheng snaps, because it’s what he does when Nie Mingjue makes him nervous like this and he can see Nie Mingjue shrug from the corner of his eye.

“I doubt you’re going to let me help,” Nie Mingjue replies and Jiang Cheng sighs.

He’s right. If it’s Jiang Cheng’s turn to cook, then it’s Jiang Cheng’s turn to cook and he doesn’t actually like it if people interfere with his work.

He knows what he’s doing in the kitchen and he doesn’t need any more hands ruining his carefully set out plan.

Instead of giving Nie Mingjue a verbal answer, he simply huffs, which causes Nie Mingjue to chuckle and Jiang Cheng to die on the spot.

Someone as tall and broad and buff as Nie Mingjue has absolutely no business being this adorable too, and Jiang Cheng curses every god he knows for making Nie Mingjue this perfect.

And unattainable for him.

“Well, you’re right with that,” Jiang Cheng finally says, because he fears that otherwise he’s going to choke on all of his feelings and he tries to concentrate on the food in front of him.

He is done with most of the preparations, but Nie Mingjue is a little bit early and so Jiang Cheng didn’t actually yet get to the cooking part of dinner.

“You mind if I stay here?” Nie Mingjue asks him suddenly, as if he didn’t already sit down anyway and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.

“Bit late to ask that now, huh?” he gives back but then he shrugs. “I’m not actually going to ban you to the living-room and make you sit alone until I’m done or Huaisang shows up,” he then tells Nie Mingjue. 

Nie Mingjue settles a little bit more firmly into the chair, clearly absolutely ready to watch Jiang Cheng get to work on the frying and stirring part of dinner and Jiang Cheng is surprised to find that his hands are shaking.

He can’t remember the last time Nie Mingjue was watching him this intently, without any distractions around and Jiang Cheng is not dealing too well with it, it seems.

So instead of getting started immediately, Jiang Cheng takes his time to get his apron out. There’s a split second where he thinks that Nie Mingjue will make fun of him for it, and Jiang Cheng is not actually sure if he could take that, but then he shakes that off. 

The apron was a gift from his sister and there are little puppies on it and Jiang Cheng always wears it when he’s cooking. He’s not going to change that for Nie Mingjue, incoming teasing or not.

Jiang Cheng’s shoulders are already tense when he puts on the apron, but to his surprise, Nie Mingjue stays quiet. 

He dares to dart a look over his shoulder, and Jiang Cheng is surprised to see that while Nie Mingjue is still watching him, he’s also clenching his jaw and keeping quite the tight grip on his can.

Jiang Cheng frowns but he can’t bring himself to ask, doesn’t want to find out if there’s something in what he’s doing that’s upsetting to Nie Mingjue and so instead of opening his mouth, he ties his hair up.

He likes it tied up and out of his face when he actually cooks and it’s a practiced enough move that it barely takes him a few seconds to be done with it.

There’s a beat of silence when Jiang Cheng takes a breath to center himself and to sort out all the steps he has to do now in his head but then suddenly Nie Mingjue speaks up.

“I swear I’m gonna marry you some day,” he whispers, just low enough for his voice to still carry over to Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Cheng is pretty sure he wasn’t meant to hear this, but he did.

And it freezes him right up, even as he goes hot all over.

Jiang Cheng is pretty sure that his brain is shut off because he can’t form a coherent thought, but something else takes over. He turns around, leaning against the counter and crossing his arms in front of his chest, as he eyes Nie Mingjue, clearly looking much more composed than he actually feels.

Nie Mingjue’s face is white and his eyes are big and Jiang Cheng realizes that maybe he didn’t mean to say that at all.

But it’s out there now, and Jiang Cheng is actually going to roll with it.

No matter how nervous he is, and how fast his heart is beating or how sweaty his hands are and how much he’s screaming inside his own head.

“Excuse me? Don’t you think you’d have to ask me out first?” Jiang Cheng asks him and he congratulates himself on how put together he sounds.

Even though he feels like he’s going to vibrate right out of his skin with excitement.

Nie Mingjue’s eyes go even bigger at that question but he keeps quiet for a worryingly long time. Long enough that Jiang Cheng starts to shuffle his feet and he wonders if it’s too late to cite an emergency and simply run out on Nie Mingjue.

Before Jiang Cheng can decide to do that though, Nie Mingjue moves.

He slides off the chair and before Jiang Cheng can panic that maybe he isn’t doing well and this is a medical emergency, Nie Mingjue goes down on one knee.

Then, Jiang Cheng panics for entirely different reasons.

“Mingjue,” he gets out, his voice now definitely coloured with panic but Nie Mingjue shakes his head.

“Wanyin,” he says, and Jiang Cheng breathes just a little bit easier when he hears the slight tremor in Nie Mingjue’s voice. “Will you go out on a date with me?” Nie Mingjue asks him and it takes Jiang Cheng a moment to realize that it’s not actually the marriage question, like he feared.

But it seems to be a moment too long.

“What the fuck is happening here?” Nie Huaisang suddenly says from the doorway and Jiang Cheng jerks at hearing his voice.

Nie Mingjue doesn’t fare much better, because he shoots upright fast enough to nearly topple over his chair.

“I leave you alone for five minutes, to give you time to figure out your shit and you propose?!” Nie Huaisang screeches and this whole scene is ridiculous enough that Jiang Cheng starts to laugh.

It seems to dissipate the tension entirely, because even Nie Mingjue chuckles, while Nie Huaisang continues to look scandalised.

“No one proposed, Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue finally says, but he can’t quite seem to bring himself to look away from Jiang Cheng. 

“You were down on one knee!”

“It was situational,” Nie Mingjue tries again, still looking at Jiang Cheng, who is slowly blushing with having Nie Mingjue’s attention for so long. “I was actually asking him out.”

“And what did he say?” Nie Huaisang asks and he sounds so eager that Jiang Cheng has to laugh.

“I didn’t say anything, cause then my boyfriend’s annoying younger brother ruined the moment,” he says, keeping his eyes on Nie Mingjue, too, and so he sees the moment the words register with him.

“Boyfriend, huh?” Nie Mingjue asks and it only takes him two steps to cross the room and put his hands on Jiang Cheng’s waist.

“Boyfriend,” Jiang Cheng nods, trying to sound much more firm than he feels, because his heart is definitely trying to beat right out of his chest at the moment and he feels jittery with happiness.

“I like how that sounds,” Nie Mingjue lowly says and he leans down, brushing his lips over Jiang Cheng’s cheek.

“You better,” Jiang Cheng gives back, angling his head to give Nie Mingjue better access. “Because there’s no getting rid of me now.”

“As if I would ever want to,” Nie Mingjue breathes out and then finally, finally claims Jiang Cheng’s lips in a kiss.

“Is this what I get for plotting this?” Nie Huaisang asks from somewhere behind them and he sounds so thoroughly scandalized that Jiang Cheng has to break the kiss to laugh against Nie Mingjue’s lips.

“Your brother is a little pest,” he conspiringly tells him and Nie Mingjue only nods, too busy peppering Jiang Cheng’s face with kisses.

“You’re both so rude,” Nie Huaisang complains and Jiang Cheng can’t be sure, because he can’t bring himself to look away from Nie Mingjue but he thinks Nie Huaisang just stomped his foot. “Still, if one of you goes ring-shopping, I want to be asked to come along.”

“You’re getting way ahead of yourself,” Jiang Cheng tells him over Nie Mingjue’s shoulder, his hands gripping Nie Mingjue’s waist hard when he lightly nibbles on his jaw and Jiang Cheng has to admit that his knees might just give out at any moment now.

“Mh, I don’t think he is,” Nie Mingjue says into his skin. “I’m definitely going to marry you some day.”

“Mingjue!” Jiang Cheng can’t believe what he’s hearing, but he can’t deny that a tiny part of himself already wants to say yes.

He hopes the day is not too far off in the future.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

[thunderheadfred]

❄️Todoroki HC's🔥

Aged-up pro hero Shouto. NSFW under the cut. Minors do not interact.

- - -

General

Might as well be tied with Bakugou for the #1 pro hero spot; they seem to pass the crown back and forth every other year. Everyone knows about their intense frenemies uber-rivalry. Well. Everyone but Shouto.

He's asked to speak at a lot of charity events. If he has time to prepare (and hire a speech writer) he is capable of stirring crowds to standing ovations. But if caught unawares... he gets cornered into hilarious on-the-spot interviews. He's been memed. Mercilessly.

He's an OP character, but unfortunately he rolled -500 in fashion sense. Eventually he wises up and hires a stylist. When he finally cuts his hair a slightly different and even more flattering way, it's a national event. People faint in the street.

Does god-awful sleight-of-hand magic tricks when he meets young fans, even though nobody asked him to. The second-hand embarrassment is palpable. But he keeps doing it. God, why does he keep doing it?

Has hovering arm syndrome in every fan photo.

Super into pop music. Not a fan of any particular group or artist, couldn't tell you the name of a single song. But every time he turns up the volume on the radio it's like... really? THIS? Probably pumps that shit through his hero agency to keep up morale. Has no idea what you mean when you tell him his music taste doesn't match his personality.

Similarly, he enjoys brainless romantic comedies and old silent movies. Doesn't laugh at jokes but loses it over physical comedy. Thinks Buster Keaton and Harold Lloyd are the funniest people who ever walked the earth.

He's long and limber. Runs practically a hundred miles every day just to "relax." Doesn't even get sweaty doing it. A filthy yoga addict. He'll probably live to be 200 years old.

He can regulate his body temperature for quirk use but in everyday life he's always half a degree outside the Goldilocks zone. It drives him quietly insane; he has an epic love-hate relationship with his thermostat.

Has a therapy animal pet. Doesn't matter if it's a dog or a cat or a bird or an iguana or a teeny tiny rodent. It's the best-behaved animal in the country and speaks more languages than you. It has its own room and an instagram account with millions of followers.

Lives in a traditional Japanese estate that doubles as a national treasure. Probably has government-appointed snipers at the gate, and he's just like, "don't worry about it." You are afraid to touch anything. Fuck, don't even look at anything, just to be safe.

Has an outstanding personal chef who only gets to cook five things unless (thank fuck!!) company comes over. Impossibly picky eater. He rotates between a few "safe" foods and suspiciously side-eyes everything else. If you cook something unfamiliar for him it will be the most awkward meal of your life, because he'd never tell you he doesn't like it. But oh lord, just look at his face.

This clashes directly with his love of traveling. Frequently uses his hero earnings to visit exotic foreign locales over long weekends... but rarely tries the food.

- - -

Dating

A grey-ace demisexual disaster. You could count the number of people he's been attracted to on one hand. He falls madly in love every time and always gets his heart smashed to pieces when his crush can't magically intuit the meaning of his frigid longing glances and generically courteous romantic gestures.

Which is stupid, because he gets propositioned constantly. He can't walk out the door without being flirted with. People keep slipping him their phone numbers and he always directs them to his agency like a moron. It's a good thing he will never understand how attractive he is because that's the only thing keeping him from total world domination.

Conventional attractiveness does not compute. Shouto doesn't have a type, doesn't care that he's an eleven whilst you are merely mortal. He will fall for your personality above all else.

Probably falls head over heels because your schedules overlap in a completely ordinary way and he witnesses you doing something endearing or brave or most likely: utterly mundane.

Pick a favorite, because you're his favorite coworker, or his favorite barista, or his favorite random bystander in line at the grocery store. You made him smile once; then he spent the next three months daydreaming about your future together before you accidentally stomped on his foot, initiating your first real conversation.

He's big on healthy communication. HUGE. He goes to therapy and it shows. Will talk through literally everything to the point of delirium. Sometimes his dedication to resolving every issue right away can get overwhelming; sometimes you just need some frickin time alone. But it pays off, because the two of you have practically never have a "real fight." There's just no way for bad vibes to fester.

STILL, his family wasn't exactly... erm... verbally or emotionally supportive, shall we say. For that reason, he might not give you all the compliments you deserve, because it simply doesn't occur to him to do so. He assumes you know how he feels. If you're self-conscious or insecure in the relationship, it might take him a while to notice. But when he figures it out (or even better, when you tell him directly) he will make it up to you with enthusiasm.

Will take you on lavish dates. Spoils you rotten without actually intending to. He's clueless about money. If you wanted a sugar daddy, you just hit the fucking jackpot. But if the word valet makes you uncomfortable, perhaps suggest some romantic picnics instead. He can still go all out with the food and five-star location without making you see cartoon dollar signs.

Chronic Insomniac. Stays up too late watching YouTube every night. His viewing history is an incomprehensible blur of k-pop music videos, serial killer icebergs, and super girly crafty ASMR channels. When he's watching a video, he is unreachable. Please call back later and try again.

He's disgustingly cute when he sleeps. Doesn't snore, but drools. Sometimes the drool freezes and leaves frost trails on his face in the morning. Still sleeps with the giant stuffed cat pillow that his mother gave him when he was like, zero. He'll inadvertently suffocate you with it, and you will welcome death with open arms because awwwwww!!!!!

The first time he tells you he loves you will be after your traditional Japanese shinto wedding. You won't hear it again until you start a family. Honestly, it's a good thing he doesn't say it often and is always holding you when it happens. It's a knee-buckler.

- - -

Icy-Hot

I don't even need to say it. Shouto is as old-fashioned as they come. You will never open another door or pull out another chair for yourself as long as you live. He will ask before he holds your hand. He will ask before he kisses you. He will stop and check in if you so much as breathe funny during sex.

If you don't orgasm at exactly the same time while staring into one another's eyes, he'll consider himself a failed lover. God forbid you want him to pound you into the futon... cause you are going to have to present that scenario to him in writing first.

Physical intimacy rarely leads to sex. He loves cuddling, craves physical affection. He'll sprawl all over you and turn into goo while you hold him close. He's an amazing, astounding, phenomenally good kisser. And that's... nice and all... but sometimes you have to grab his face and say, "Shouto, I'm horny," before he's like so that's why you're currently dry-humping me?

Even if he isn't technically a virgin the first time (or the millionth time) you sleep together, you won't know the difference. He's a blushing violet. Every. Fucking. Time. This doesn't mean he's a bad lay, oh no. But there's always ten minutes of confused bumbling before he hits his stride and remembers oh yeah, I DO know how to fuck good.

Absolutely silent during sex. Focused. Intense. Sometimes you have to push him a little to make any kind of noise at all, just so you know you're pleasing him (oh don't worry, you are).

His cock is Just Right. Not to big or too small. Perfectly proportioned and symmetrical. Somehow pretty. Like a fucking factory prototype. It truly is not fair.

Gets handsy and restless at night, even if you both have work the next day. Seems to crave sex at three in the morning. You've given him more than one exhausted handjob.

Gets offended if you don't cum. Will go down on you for hours. Of course he uses his quirk to tease you. He doesn't typically use it during actual intercourse, but he's all about foreplay, and he'll use every tool in his arsenal.

His sex drive is completely fucking unpredictable. Sometimes he's all over you, other times he's an icy slab. His line of work leaves him busy and stressed on a near-constant basis, so you can't entirely blame his personality for this one. Just give him some time and help him take care of his basic needs. He'll come back around soon enough.

[shadoedseptmbr]

six lines for sunday

six-ish

The flat is almost cleared when she goes to empty out the cupboard. She’ll just leave the pans, she decides. Odds are she’ll be in barracks again on Arcturus until she’s redeployed.  MRE’s, teabox, coffee jar- those’ll all fit in the bottom of her bag, like always.

Protein bars…

She hesitates, the plascoated cardboard faintly rough under her fingers as the coating’s worn enough since she’s been hauling it around. She rotates it to look at the date. Two years. She hadn’t liked them much, but she hadn’t been able to just toss them. They were fine in a pinch.

Who throws away perfectly edible food, after all.

She still can’t quite make herself toss them. But when she hauls her last trash bag to the communal dumpster in the maintenance tunnel, she leaves the box next to it, high enough that the foot sized bugs that take the place of rats on Omega won’t reach them without some effort. Maybe someone will need them. 

But she doesn’t.