#but calling it whaling is funnier

[hydrachea]

FINALLY, AFTER A YEAR (and a little 🐋ing after losing that 50/50, because why would the bourgeois parasite himself come for cheap).

Bonus, since I'd prefarmed all his stuff beforehand and maxed him immediately: the long-awaited wrath of the rock.

[sentienttoastah]

I had a thought. It probably already exists, but what is the fandom nickname for Moby Dick? I mean like you know how Harry Potter fans are called Potterheads.

…Are Moby Dick fans called Dickheads?

Imagine pulling up to the book club or to your fellows and going “What’s up Dickheads” and then proceeding to have either the most philosophical or deranged discussion about fictional whales. Probably both.

Honestly couldn’t be me. Ahem.

[narwhalandchill]

not a comment on a r/fatuiHQ meme of all things making me finally notice that childe activating FL all the way back in the golden house cutscene actually summons those black hole/collapsing star imagery things (looking Exactly like the narwhal boss drop at a specific frame too) behind him if u look at it closely at the right frame😭😭😭

(peak subreddit btw.)

i mean its not Completely new for a motif his teleporting in the 4.2 opera cutscene is a much more clear example of the same exact visual effect but. Dang i never slowed the 1.1 cutscene down enough to see it for myself there before

what a cool detail and reccurring motif there! now let me lose my mind and credibility for a bit Thanks

(actual nonsense warning lmao its just cool black hole sfx but gone downhill)

(a Completely unrelated compilation here Surely. yes the narwhals spout attack thingy is less Obviously the same visual but its a pretty picture of my beloved. sue me. also its close enough 2 me)

anyway isnt it Curious how all these effects are ummmm black holes. like there are stars visibly collapsing here uwu. and black holes are. Collapsed dead stars. wouldnt it be funny if the narwhal boss drop archive entry somehow directly implies that the eye of maelstrom (a black hole) could simply be the echo of its prey. Which are. Yaknow. sometimes stars. for a cosmic whale. so an echo of its prey is an echo of a dead star. crazy ik. if anything like that existed i mean

oh JEEPERS. next thing youll tell me stars are archons forbid often used as a sort of allegory and very prevalent reference to some sort of an important category of people. like a descender or something. crazy ik (2: Electric boogaloo)

WHAT!!!! (and like 4 billion other examples i couldnt bother to gather and sc sorry)

and like. sure sure lets not get too crazy we need to remember skirks usage of this same power as well thats a good point. i should remain skeptical of my own insanity thats very true. we all get a sticker for responsible behavior UwU

so she indeed turned the narwhal into a black hole there yes. She Did That. so maybe its just the power from beyond thing. its void power its quantum but genshin. the black hole/collapsing star stuff is all surtalogis power okay lets consider that for arguments sake. well i guess that means its just surtalogis brand of transcendent abyss power and not about black holes slash dead stars that may or may not be dead descenders. thats fine

Whew i guess thats it then we solved it guys. okay i can accept that. its abyss power because surtalogi things and childe and the narwhal displaying it is all because of surtalogis plots and teachings and powers. something like that

and even if that may be a bit anticlimactic of a conclusion for a narwhalpilled truther like myself (with a penchant towards Theres Some Descender Shit Going On With Ajax antics as well) at the very least its good that there isnt any datamined book series in which some particularly pygmy-esque individuals Strangely fitting of our current descriptions and knowledge of of dain + the sinners band together to merk some guy from beyond teyvat with special powers that may or may not be the irminsul-proofed historical account of a particular descenders death so nothing like THAT can throw a wrench into our very confirmed conclusion of surtalogis power and by extension childe and maybe even the narwhals black hole motifs just being basic abyss element power that has absolutely Nothing to do with any descenders or... dead stars? yeah its a good thing nothing like that exists .

OH SH----

[olderthannetfic]

I ship Perry the Platypus and Dr. Doofenshmirtz from Phineas and Ferb and the amount of handwringing over "bestiality" I see from certain show fans is so funny.

Guys, this show has a woman marry a whale as her true love. The show literally jokes about them being a couple. One of the showrunners commented "great video" on a ship edit.

It's even funnier that a lot of "average guys" on reddit who are either casual fans or who remember this show from their childhood are on board with the ship, but it's the overly online fandom goers who will call you a zoophile. So much for being the normal ones

--

[kiennjio]

why Shinonome Akito is a dog: an analysis

NOTE: Contains spoilers for Rise as ONE! event story

At first glance, Akito seems like he is more of a cat than a dog. On the surface level, he probably is. His two-faced personality where he acts nice in front of strangers but is less polite and sometimes apathetic with his friends is extremely similar to a cat's.

However, a major part of Akito's personality is his determination and loyalty. His loyalty to his goal of surpassing rad weekend, his loyalty to vivid bad squad, and his loyalty to his partner Touya have been emphasized many times in event stories. Dogs are often called "man's best friend" and are known for their loyalty to their owners. Akito's "owner", in this case, would probably be his "ego", or what he considers most important in his life.

In rise as one, Akito viewed Ishihara and Max as partners because their relationship reminded him of his own relationship with Touya. Akito saw how Ishihara and Max trusted each other and wished to be the best in Japan together, just like how Akito and Touya's bond is built on mutual trust, and their goal of surpassing rad weekend by each other's side. Akito first came to understand Max as he related to Max's resolve to compete in the tournament so he could make Ishihara happy, and the feeling of "cherishing his partner". In this case, Ishihara and Max are a direct parallel to Touya and Akito.

Dogs in the event were portrayed as emotionally intelligent creatures that picked up on their owners' emotions and showed care for them. Akito doesn't outwardly show it but he's perceptive and is able to figure out what his friends are feeling despite them not knowing themselves or actively hiding it from others. Akito may seem to have a prickly exterior but he still shows concern for his friends and Ena.

Akito and Touya also called themselves BAD DOGS because they wanted to show those who laughed at their dream that they would fight to achieve it like disobeying dogs would and also because it is apparently slang for "the best partner" which is what they are to each other. Akito also seems to enjoy being praised by Touya (getting flustered when Touya got happy about him doing well on a test), which is a very dog-like behavior.

There is a lot of correlation between Akito and dogs, so Akito as a golden retriever makes sense, although cat Akito also has some merit. (Touya, on the other hand, is definitely a cat. As for whale Touya, I need to do more research.) Akito being terrified of dogs certainly makes it a lot funnier, I suspect colorpale enjoys the irony (I know I do).

[minecraftrelatedrandomness]

piratestober weekly faction spotlight: the kites

aimsey:

tried to make friends with everyone! the recruitment officer said that they were a surprising counterpoint to the mean kite stereotype

names gifts/pets/other things after people they know or their traits :(

i don't know their past well enough. i guess being childhood friends with p!michela bc their parents were friends (iirc) means that p!aimsey could be a 1st gen pirate rather than a legacy one? or is it a p!kyle-type or p!saus-type situation where they had affiliated family on the isles? idk man

died asking if the corruption voice needed help… they just wanted to help people in need…

also multiversally doomed yuri but we don't really talk about that </3

bek:

actually does start out as the mean kite stereotype but seems to have mellowed out over the series

what even is their backstory?? raised on the isles, emotionally distant family that they rarely (if ever) talk about, spent a few years at sea alone before washing back up on the isles… what even happened??

said that whales are sacred to wales, which i think is kinda funny

old boat name was the orcussy, new boat name is the full name of llanfairpg (and has strategic reasons for it)

has a pet bear for a war mount

literally plucked up some guy's statue corpse out of loneliness and declared him her best friend carried him around everywhere with one hand

has a soft spot for p!el and p!ros

all the npcs hate him for some reason

got kidnapped while picking flowers for a wedding, fought back, and then got personally killed by iris WHILE TRYING TO KILL IRIS. hardcore af way to go down

eret:

used to be a solo rogue adventurer

it was never meant to be for them to stay with the herons

seriously, what WAS with those fleshmingos? bro just logged on after the halloween event (where half the server got trapped in the nightmare realm and several had mental breakdowns right then and there) and made fleshmingos.

built a pretty big base that he wanted to trap in the early planning stages

has a monkey called business

deadbeards keep spawning in xyr backyard

her goldenbeard curse messages were that p!water wanted to steal her gold. this guy got Priorities

didn't show up to the finale, and thus technically canonically dead, but considering ze didn't show up as a statue either, it's funnier to say ze slept through ALL the lore events. INCLUDING the finale.

krow:

my tyrannicidal beloved <3 he has my heart and soul tbh

ex-child soldier from the elite of a military dictatorship who went on the run for murdering 8 of the ruler equivalents (i'm a bit envious thar he has the guts to do it but i don't want to have one eye carved out with a chair leg soooo)

a proto-version of him was naturally blond. seriously.

actually recruited p!acho to help him on his revenge quest without saying any names in exchange for info about monkey island ;-; too bad star kinda died before he went back to naya…

tried and failed to rizz up the enchantress even with p!graecie wingmanning him

there do be gun trauma

only known petrification survivor who escaped unscathed and without supernatural influence, like WHAT

we don't know if he survived in the end ;-;

puffy:

complains about the pirate economy A LOT

has a pet axolotl named squishy that she carries around with her at all times

had 6 concussions (i'm concerned) and allegedly saw a fish with legs once

joined the kites to kill jeffery for "ghosting" her (bc of npc chat function specifics). i hope you're happy with how p!water's wedding ended

actually made friends with p!scar but then he scammed her with the banana peel trick

stole a diamond helmet from a clothing shop and got stalked by p!tubbo for it (even though keep inventory is on)

only got a gun bc she was too intimidated by p!tubbo to remain unarmed

made a small treehouse ;-;

red:

started a "drug" business with p!apo

p!scott was so intimidated by him that he got extra gear + kanga reinforcements while taking the bounty on him. his in-universe reputation is one word: DRUNK

asked several ppl, INCLUDING p!scott, to buy him a second gun. this is after guns got nerfed AND while p!scott is staring him down with a bounty and like 4 murderous pets behind him. the comedic timing could not be more perfect

a monke threw a rock at him and he died (the aforementioned bounty). and then he made friends with and named the monke

joked about the kites having an especially low life expectancy and BOOM, most of the faction is dead by the end of the series (6/8, except krow yeeted out of the kites early, so it was technically 6/7)

seapeekay:

he's related to the recruitment officer and went out to sea to look for him ;-;

bro got first kidnapped while getting hammered at a tavern somewhere

actually one of the most chill kites out there

my guy was UNFAZED in the halloween event. several ppl were out there getting heartwrenching af lore whispers and having mental breakdowns and cpk is just NOPE. my guy got one (1) message from the curse and it wasn't even scary ("peek a boo im gonna find youu")

(however, one of p!jojo's messages: "Knowing you is the worst thing that happened to Seapeekay, even worse than being held hostage." THEY WERE CAGE BUDDIES, THEY WERE FRIENDS)

actually canonically (in the yt cuts) killed nocturnus, one of the 2 evil wizards

only confirmed kite survivor

tubbo:

literally that live-action clip with owen tho??!?

WHAT do you mean, you have ketamine in your hat?

factions mean nothing to him (he gets no monetary benefit from being in one)

he sailed off to raid the corrupted island before the 1st server event started, like HOW??

a fly stole his boat twice in a single stream

his chat was shouting "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD BEE" while he was hunting down p!saus and p!oli that one time

absolute nutcase (affectionate) that no one trusts

[that1notetaker]

Listen if you’re going to give us a first born anyway I want hiccup an jacks, insufferable dads is my white whale and oh boy I’ve been on this ship for months

I gotchu. Thank you for the ask btw! It gave so many ideas!

Meet KIID! A shipwrecked child found by dragon-trappers. She's 14 now, but when she was taken in by some Dragon Trappers five years ago, no one knew her name, not even herself. So, they just started calling her Kid. She made the name her own, though, and added an extra 'i' to make things interesting. Pronounced Keed.

She's very fun to draw, ngl!! Might bring her up again.

Have some more character info!

Meet Kiid, the human personification of Everything All at Once!

-The particular group of dragon trappers that found her wasn't a hard-core one. Most of the people in the group were there working mostly as a necessity. Meaning, that while she didn't grow up in the most peaceful environments, it wasn't all bad. There was some sort of support.

-Helped around back when she lived with the Trappy Guys. Multitasking is just tasking.

-Moves a lot. Talks a lot. Adhd vibes. Hiccup and her bounce ideas off one another like a bullet train. Jack thinks its very fun to watch.

-HER SPEAR! She made it. She started off with plain pine sticks, using it to jump around from place to place and smack the occasional weirdo and/or fish. Eventually, she developed a technique for jumping longer distances, and crafted her spear to aid her. It serves as a weapon and for traveling causes. She loves feeling the air and the rush of her speedy travels. Jack and Hiccup saw her jumping once, sixteen feet down as she cackled, and thought, Yeah, She is One Of Us alright. Jack asked her for pointers with his own staff.

-She's been taught a couple of things here and there with the help of The Trapper Guys, but she hasn't got anything 100% mastered. Prob because she didn't have someone to help her master something in particular. She makes do with what she has. Always willing to learn.

-Couple of scratches on her face from a dragon on a rampant from a couple years ago. She thinks it makes her look more menacing and kinda cool.

-Kinda weird at times. A lil' crazy. A lil' wild. A lil' maniac with mostly good intentions. The bad ones come in the form of some pranks here and there which Jack and the twins adore. They are quite the duo/trio. Hiccup joins her pranks sometimes. Those times are the most impressive, destructive, yet funnier ones.

-Hiccup gave her a notebook she carries everywhere, all the time. Doesn't let anyone see. Punched Jack once on reflex when he went to check it out.

-Right side of her hair more cut out than the right. She has a couple of braids at her sides.

[glakery]

The Musa has suspiciously much in common with sirens/mermaids. Moreover, both with tailed sea maidens and with Greek sirens in the form of female birds:

1. Her appearance is with almost pale skin, dark eyes and hair of a deep dark blue shade that resembles the color of the sea/sea depths. An appearance that is very suitable for a water fairy.

2. Her wonderful singing voice, which is able to literally influence someone else's mind: to calm, lull or even partially deprive of memory.

3. The Muse's favorite animal is a goldfish.

4. In season 3 (in the episode with Laila's Enchantix), you can see that the Muse's swimming style is literally like that of a fish/mermaid.

5. Her first best friend, Leila, is a princess of the water world and is friends with mermaids.

6. Her second best friend, Tekna, according to the fairy horoscope, was born under the sign of Triton.

7. According to the book "Discover the secret. Music. Muse" the Muse got its name not from the word "music", but from the Italian word "musa", which means the ancient Greek muses (She says there that she was named after them). Even funnier is that one of them, Melpomene, the muse of tragedy, is the mother of sirens.

8. About the connection with bird-like sirens: In season 5, the Muse calls birds with her voice. And in season 8, the Muse turns into a bird herself.

9. The fifth season is generally a storehouse of all sorts of stuff: First, it is turned into a sea monster. Secondly, it is shown that Ho-Boe has a house by the sea. Thirdly, the Muse has a whole subplot with singing whales. Fourth, she looks the best in Harmonics (personal imho).

10. In mythology, mermaids/ sirens have a difficult character, which can be both playful and harmful (if not directly dangerous and dirty). Given the character of the Muse, some similarities can clearly be found.

11. Oh, and yes, in the Italian voiceover, when Leila shows pictures of her cousins (the mermaid/newt guys), the Muse says that they (both!) they are very cute, but especially Nereus (she and Stella are the only ones who praised their looks).

It is surprising that with such a rich presence of common features, Stella is under the sign of the siren in the fairy horoscope, and the Muse is under the sign of an elf (who is not really an elf, like Palladium, but 'folletto', an analogue of brownies — also playful and dirty creatures, which, however, are also associated with brownies and they can perform the function of protecting homes/animals. I remember that in one of the Russian publications, it seems to have been translated as 'I am under the sign of a goblin'). Even more surprising is that Stella, being under the sign of a siren/mermaid and also having some similarities with them (beauty, charm, singing, character traits (see above), her favorite sport is swimming) She gets along with Muse the worst of all, as well as with Leila, the water princess, her friendship with Tekna-triton is also not very developed.

[theshadowrealmitself]

I know it’s because AOS is action/adventure movies, so of course we don’t get to see the characters relaxed and have their peaceful moments balanced out with adventure like we do in TOS

But, because it’s funnier to me,

I like to think that the new universe is just so much more chaotic

Like Spock Prime gets a distressed call from Jim, screaming about whales and he’s like “oh that’s so much quicker than in my universe, but we had the same problem” and Jim’s like “You also had terrifying violent whale-like creatures swimming in space and eating spaceships???” while there’s sounds of loud crunching off screen

Even the chess battles between Spock and Jim have the intensity of the tennis scene from dn except way gayer, nothing like the calmness of TOS, it’s all just so much more chaotic

[canirove]

The Nanny Diaries | Chapter 2

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"Rough night?" Mrs. McKenzie asks me with her Scottish accent.

"What?"

"You don't seem to have had a good night of sleep. Was it your date?"

"No, no. That was fine"

"Then what is it?"

"Nothing, just... Do you know this guy called Benjamin Chilwell?"

"Oh, now I understand... You met young Ben, didn't ya?" she winks.

"I might have."

"He's a handsome lad, isn't he?"

"He is ok" I shrug.

"Ok? Just ok? If there were men like him back home, trust me, you wouldn't find me here folding Mr. Kloss' underwear. I would be in my own house, with my handsome husband, and surrounded by 5 kids, another one on their way."

"What?" I laugh.

"What you just heard. If I had crossed paths with a man like that, I would have made him just mine, marrying him and not allowing him to leave my bed."

"Mrs. McKenzie!" I say, laughing again but also blushing, the image of Ben in my bed already forming in my head. Again. Because that's why I didn't have a good night. Because every time I closed my eyes, I only saw him. Him and his stupid smile, and that stupid fluffy hair, and those stupid blue eyes.

"I'm human, what can I say" she shrugs. "But tell me, what happened?"

"Nothing. He has stupid friends, at first it looked like he wasn't as stupid as them, but turns out he is."

"Was there one called Jack?"

"Yes. That was the one who tried to flirt with me."

"Poor lad. I think he fell when he was a baby, hit his head, and lost the few proper braincells he had."

"Mrs. McKenzie!"

"I'm not the only one who thinks it. Even young Ben does. But for some odd reason, he is his dearest friend."

"Because he is as stupid as that Jack, that's why" I say, smoothing a t-shirt with more intensity than usual.

"What did he do to make you dislike him so much already?"

"He believes himself to be this Adonis, this man no one can resist to, and thinks that I will be at his feet, begging for his attention."

"I wouldn't mind being at his feet."

"Oh my God, Mrs. McKenzie!"

"Yes, that's my name. If you keep saying it so much, you'll wear it out."

"I'm sorry, but I just didn't expect you to be this... Horny" I say, whispering that last word.

"Oh, there are many things you still don't know about me, lass. But let me tell you something" she says, picking the basket full of clothes we just finished folding. "There is a lot more to Ben than just a pretty face."

"What does that mean?"

"Get to know him, and you'll find out."

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━      

"Can we have chocolate for lunch?"

"Mrs. McKenzie has been cooking the whole day, we can't do that to her."

"After lunch?" Levi asks.

"Only if you eat everything."

"I will, you'll see!"

"Hello, miss. Mr. Levi" Louis says, opening our building's door. "How was school today?"

"Today we learned a new song, and... Ben!" Levi screams, running through the lobby.

"Hello, little man" Ben says, picking him up. "Neighbour" he says when he sees me.

"Chilwell."

"That's not his name" Levi says, confused. "His name is Ben."

"I know. But Chilwell sounds funnier."

"Oh, do you know what is funny, Ben? I learnt to speak like the whales!"

"You did?" he asks as we walk into the lift.

"She taught me" Levi says, pointing at me.

"Has she also taught you the floor you live in?" Ben asks.

"I already knew it. Three! And yours is five. Can I push the button?"

"Of course you can” he says, putting him down.

“Three and five. See?” Levi says with a big smile.

"Well done, little man!" Ben tells him, lifting his hand to high five him and making me smile like an idiot. Why am I smiling like this? He is the idiot. A hot idiot being super cute with Levi, but an idiot still.

"Are you a “Finding Nemo” fan?" he asks me as the lift starts moving.

"What?"

"Speaking like the whales. That's from the movie, isn't it?"

"Oh, yes. I'm more into the classics, but that scene was funny."

"Levi, have you watched “Finding Nemo”?"

"No. Why?"

"Do you want to come watch it at my house? We can even make popcorn. If that's ok with your nanny, of course" Ben says, looking at me with a big smile.

"Oh, say yes, please!" Levi says while doing little jumps of excitement.

"We'll have to ask your mum first."

"She'll say yes, you'll see. She likes Ben a lot."

"Does she?" I ask, arching an eyebrow.

"She does. But I'm not into milfs" Ben whispers in my ear just as the lift's doors open, the feel of his breath on my skin sending goosebumps all over my body.

"Let's go, Levi" I quickly say, grabbing his hand. I need to be away from Ben. Now. If I stay next to him any longer, I don't know what I would do. Punch him, throw myself at him, or both.

"Mrs. McKenzie has my number. Text me if you are coming" he says with a wink while the lift's doors close again.

[unsleepingtales]

Happy holidays from all of us here on fantasy high tumblr.

Coming back to the top having just finished the ep. I feel insane. ANYWAY.

Our name is ally brennan beardsley mulligan!!

I AM FRIENDS WITH PETE WENTZ FROM FALL OUT BOY WHO IS WANDA CHILDA’S (RECENT) EX BOYFRIEND???????

Ok glad we’re talking about spies tongue curse. Bc what was that

Oh my god this episode is three hours long

Sklonda what’s your goal here bestie

I’m really distracted rn so not many notes are being taken I’m definitely gonna have to rewatch this episode over the weekend

But god all the soil stuff is weird

Something in his office??? Something like maybe the mirror where baron first appeared??

Yeah just throwing energy into external things to avoid feeling your own feelings. Is a thing that happens.

THANK YOU RIZ please please talk about the students freaking out

Oh godddddd the soil it all comes back to minerals and soil somehow ok

Diamondized blood 😭

I love tired Adaine she’s trying her bestttt

Goddd the bad girls are everything to me. They are every triad ever.

You’re giving the identity spell a stroke guys

Holy SHIT Beardsley

Oooooooh DOME COLOR CHANGE

Saint Kristen Applebees motherfuckers

Okay that’s horrifying!

Ok so that was fun

Zac is SO smart

‘Gorgug….. so good’

Godly whale fall……… Zac Oyama your mind

It’s like burning man 😭

Burning Man as Whale Fall. Maybe I’ll write the paper.

Planeshift is a spell guysssss you have used it before

The way he talks to her makes her mad!!!!!

Cassandraaaaaaaaaa

Gorgug <3

Your enemy the beekeeper!

THANK YOU FOR TALKING ABOUT IT

Yeah Fabian probably does not want to go to Aelwyn’s house

Riding a scooter. Classic Adaine.

Devastating.

OOF

Yeesh.

Yeah the last friends Aelwyn had we’re not good!

🚨🚨 ZAYN MENTION 🚨🚨 Zayn my best friend Zayn Darkshadow 🖤🖤🖤

Brennan’s physicality as Aelwyn is so funny

Aelwyn and Fabian leave it alone!!! Don’t!!

What? No! No! What? What? What? No!

One thing about Ally Beardsley is they’re gonna talk about Joe Biden.

They’re good crimes? You’re having fun with the crimes? Come do crimes with us!

Aelwyn librarian era??

Holy shit Emily

What the fuckkkkkk

Absolute dream terrorist Figueroth Faeth

Gertie my beloved!

Dark red honey oooh

Kristen x Gertie let’s goooooo

HELLO????????

OKAY I GUESS THATS HAPPENING FANTASTIC LOVE THAT FOR BOTH OF THEM

Also that makes Gertie campaigning for Kipperlilly 100x funnier

Whattttttt

I need fic. STAT.

Yayyyy a bit of financial breathing room for Riz

Mazey!

My mind’s still back in the cafeteria I can’t wait to see fantasy high tumblr’s response to Kristen and Gertie

Do NOT get tracker. NO.

Oooh so we finally have info on the bylaws

Where did you get wanda childa’s resume???????

He’s really committed to the neck tattoo thing huh.

They’re all so good. They’re just good.

Gorgug!!!!

THEY FINALLY REALIZED!!!!

We’ve been sooooooo intense about it I wasn’t even sure if they had realized lol

Ok! Nephew. Interesting.

Henry helped build Grix. Ok.

Henryyyyyyyyy

God we can’t trust any of the teachers really. That’s so depressing.

God if only you could actually just go let’s end the meeting right there every time you were uncomfortable

The ENTIRE family is going yeah

THEYRE BRINGING ZAYNNNNNNNN

I’m so glad they’re bringing Zayn my best friend in the world Zayn Darkshadow

His art makes me so fucking happy.

Ooh good thinking Siobhan

Telemaine oh boy

Oh god

Gilear time!!!!

(haunted and suspicious)

Awww she called him dad

Sometimes Brennan just says shit

He really had to get rid of the puppy fast

She killed my god- NO- fine. She helped my god die.

That actually makes so much sense. Once things are good after they’ve been bad for ages you don’t know who you are without the bad things

It’s me fig! From the phone!

(all talking at once about Kristen’s kisses)

What

What??

Babe how could we not clown

RIZBERT

We could have been calling you rizbert this entire time

WHAT????

Telemaine leave Riz alone

RUVINA?????? Winter in fallinel for the first time in eons????? Ruvina maybe??

Oh yeah the name of the religion is literally wolfSONG

Fantasy Hamilton

It’s so funny that they’re calling her bee girl bc there’s an npc named bee boy in my current campaign that we all love SO much

Aelwyn. Babe.

Gorgug white knuckling the railing to avoid Telemaine

There is NOT an option for under 18s on any kink dating app

Sandra Lynnnnnnnn I would be so good to you you don’t even know

Okay but wasn’t Gilear cursed way before he put the armor on???? This is what keeps tripping me up. Gilear’s life was like this before.

My only daughter in the world 😭😭😭

Fig. Fig honey. That’s not. That’s.

Fig and Sandra Lynn. They fuck me up so bad.

Sandra Lynn Faeth the woman that you are………….

Zayn is coming to the church! Zayn Darkshadow my best friend in the world!!!

SPY’S TONGUE

Ohhhhhhhh okay

I love that it’s canon that Aelwyn and Zayn are wizard buddies who worked for Kalina together

Using devil’s nectar too much causes you to to believe your own lies. Fabulous.

Divinity is so weird

Name heist?

Winter Break! I believe in you!!

Kristen. Kristennnnnn

Narnia Burning Man 😭

Oh god

Oh god!

She will be risen!

It is SO cold

OUCH

Guys what the hell is going on

Yeah of COURSE she’s deeply bothered. Kristen is doing the same thing to her that she did earlier. They bother each other. They need each other to understand.

This kills me. This kills me so deeply.

Ohhh thank you for thinking about Ruvina

They’re BEST FRIENDS

They’re rolling initiative to decide who goes first in secret sylvan. I’m gonna fucking cry.

ADAINE THATS SO SWEET

Fabian. Fabian this is actually so nice. Please think about this. It will make them not attack you. Adaine wanted to help you with your fear.

Fabian we know you can give good gifts

Murph is running a tight ship on secret sylvan

(attempted tearing noises)

That’s actually really nice

They’re tactical!!!!!!

I love this so much

That’s so nice oh my god Kristen you know Riz so well

They love each other so much

GORGUG HAD FIG IN SECRET SYLVAN. Be still my figgorgug heart.

Brennan stopppppppppp

The intense zoom on Ally doing this.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Is she like me.

Zaynnnnnnn

Sorry I’m incredibly not normal about Zayn Darkshadow I’m sure you couldn’t tell from how I react when he has .5 seconds of screen time

Girl WHAT

God they’re good

Riz Gukgak!!

IS THIS WHERE CASSANDRA WAS MARRIED

Dig bitch!

Oooooooooooh baby

Adaine I love you

Oh fuck oh god oh fuck

Zayn nooooooooo

Oh god why

KRISTEN

The idea of watching the moon get fuller is really cool

Oh god

MIRRORS?

Somehow I completely forgot baron was in this episode. I was so distracted I forgot what was coming.

Awww Cassandra is protecting her paladin

Oh my god this is insane

Oh no oh no oh no

Don’t break a mirror don’t do that not right now not here

Oh my god?????

They’re married <3

BARON HELPING??!

BARON ART BARON ART BARON ART

Is Zayn okay :(

You can’t ALL go in the briefcase can you???

WARDING BOND 😭😭😭😭 oh my god I can’t handle that

Death bond <3

What the fuckkkkkkkkk

Hello???????

NAT 20 DEX SAVE FROM KRISTEN APPLEBEES

Where the fuck are they.

Ooooh fig’s bedroom art!

How did this happen.

BARON MINI NEXT WEEK

[fouadwastaken]

SIR. SIR HEY SIR *bowls down a group of reporters* HEY HEY HEY OKAY SPEAK INTO THE MIC

bailey lore. tidbits. what do you have for us

UHH HI BAILEY LORE ?!

Bailey is a sailor , but not any kind of sailor. She is a big game fisher , while she does normal fishing with her crew. They are more specialized in hunting big targets that takes many days to get out or might easily put you in a bad spot. So you need to be resourceful and mentally strong which Bailey normally is.

I am not yet sure if Bailey was always amphibian or eventually became it after getting cursed. But nonetheless there's something constant is that she is cursed. When in deep enough waters , she hears the call of the abyss. Whispers of something -unless it's a someone- telling her to come deeper , she is usually quick to ignore them until they get louder or turn into hallucinations. In which case she might freeze into place due to the fear or start acting REALLY weird. if the curse wins over here , she enters a catatonic state where she feels the urge to jump in the water and if you try to restrain her she will take you down with her. Her mind sank into depths and her body needs to follow.

Someone swore to took revenge on Bailey after a certain incident , a monster that enjoyed toying with Bailey and her crew trying to make killing them a bit funnier. It gave enough time for Bailey to blow a part of its skull off (remember the big game hunting? She had heavy duty equipment ). and since that certain someone wants Bailey dead.

You'd spot in this case a parelel with moby dick between Ahab and the whale! just know that Bailey is the whale!

Bailey is scared of making decision under stress , rumors are because she killed her whole crew once when trying an escape from something

If bailey has a recurring nightmare it is of being at the beach under the moonlight then spotting a tidal wave of blood rushing towards the shore. I spared you in an ocean of water but I will gut you in an ocean of blood

For the first rp/campaign I made her for , Bailey had a crew she worked with! Captain Midzan , a gorgon....Maybe I will rework her one day and use her too!!

LASTLY. I suck at making oc art I take 10 morbillion years to finish them , in same fashion. Early 2023 sketch for a bailey piece that I didn't touch again or share I think. It's so messy but if you read anything have fun!

THATS ALL I HAD TO SAY THANKS FOR ASKING COME AGAIN

[kirstenonic05]

Ooh so in your mer AU fic Joseph can't speak human language at first? Then a spell lets him speak English? Interesting.

Wonder if he also gets legs from the spell, though admittedly Caesar and Suzi having to lug his fish butt around and plop him into an inflatable kiddy pool/bathtub/backyard fountain would be funnier lol

Yep yep! Mers don't exactly speak, instead using calls, squeaks and other noises akin to whales or dolphins. Some mers have trained their voices to speak human languages, but most, like Joseph, require an outside force to converse with humans.

I haven't decided if Joseph will end up getting legs at all! I know for sure that Caesar and Suzi will spend most of their time with him in the water, and if he ends up getting chased by poachers he'll end up living with them. Most probably ending up in someone's bathtub. And of course, Lisa Lisa isn't going to be very happy once she finds out about this.

[britcision]

Okay but listen listen listen

They don’t summon Disney Hades

They don’t summon DC Hades

They don’t summon any modern media Hades

These fucks summon Actual Original Greek Myth Hades, who:

- does not give a fuck about killing people, everyone comes to him he can wait

- is about as destructive as a sleeping kitten

- barely fucking pays attention offerings were mostly to HIS WIFE and HER MOM to get favour from him

- is also the god of wealth, volcanoes, and diamonds

Hades pops through this portal in full “what the fuck where am I where did everybody go” to see a room full of cultists in pitched battle with superheroes, and also Danny, who is another death god

There are two options from here:

1) Hades spots Danny, locks in on him as “ah yes an adult I shall ask him wtf is going on” and is utterly befuddled when Danny kicks his ass but assumes it’s a challenge or something and fights back

2) Hades gives a version of “wrong number, sorry” and dips

Maybe the League freak out because Where Did He Go What Is He Doing The God Of Death Is Loose

And Diana has to explain to them (yet again) that Hades is not Satan, he’s gone fucking home because Zeus THOUGHT he gave Hades the shitty kingdom…

But he fucking gave him the one with all the wealth of the universe, and all Hades has to do is chill the fuck out and wait because even the gods will come to him in time

There is a reason you only really see him in myths as a passive observer someone else wants something from, with the sole exception of Persephone

He’s like the one guy who did not get Ouranos’ Dramatic Bitch Genes (even Persephone’s story was fucking tame as far as the Greeks go, he grabbed her, pulled her down, and offered her a snack, no animal transformations or shit)

Hell, if Persephone’s in the story she’s usually the one making the final call (holla Orpheus) Hades deadass is not an active guy

He doesn’t have to be

He’s a whale shark just vibing along and occasionally someone grabs his fin

(He would however be very grateful if Danny or Diana could spread the word and stop people from trying to summon him for destruction it’s embarrassing and Zeus gets pissy they didn’t text him

Mr Lightning Bolt would like to be considered)

Anyway sorry it’s just that the constant monotheistic lenses on polytheistic religions gets on my tits and it’s also funnier if Danny thinks he’s fighting to the death against a very confused upper level manager

Danny: I WON’T LET YOU DESTROY THE WORLD *big dramatic attack*

Hades: you what in my what in the where????

Some occult group thinks the Fenton portal is a great option for summoning Hades. Hades is lord of the underworld and Phantom is king of the restless dead, which would normally make them equals. Except Danny has home field advantage (deathplace/grave/lifetime focal location. He was probably born there too, given his parents). Wonder Woman was working with JL Dark to stop the cult from summoning Hades only to see him get curb-stomped by a tiny teenager, who is also apparently a death god.

the concept of just a tiny Danny kicking an ancient god's ass is incredible

[monologueat3am]

I Hear The Whispers from the Peak

The rush of a life that isn’t mine, the eagle’s scream, which propels me up quaking rock. The thrill of imagining myself after the fat has melted off of my skin. Prettier, taller. More studious, more motivated, free of my vices, my faults, the hair that blots my skin. The urge to be reborn as a wise nineteen-year-old eighty-pound esthetician in New Jersey with millimeter-wide eyebrows. 

Stone crumbling beneath me, the need to be funnier than I am, less awkward than I am. To carve each and every feature out of the limestone upon which my foot slips. Or, simply, to have been born pale and sickly, to never have swollen into a whale, to have been struck with the inspiration to starve myself earlier and to have committed. My rope, my noose, tugs at my waist, waiting for the coward that begs for it whenever conversation dissipates under the silence of contempt, whenever efforts rot into collapse. Underneath, my corpse bloats in my casket, yellow and jaundiced. 

I spend hours in my mind, mulling over every single reality where I’m planted, safely, on grass, sleeping on a red-checkered blanket, sky shifting lazily before me.

 Fire rages on in global tragedy, consuming me, the flame, which I watch idly, inactively, singing my fingers as I climb. Repulsively, I obsess over the skeletal bodies of refugees who cower in the crevices of earth below my feet. A transplant, a switch between us, my bones extruding through shallow skin, my stomach digging into my back. An urge to see the scale dip into the pool of ‘underweight’, a dark, deep, lonely pool where my dreams take place. I close my eyes and drown in the fantasy of “skinny”. The mirage of fame. Wealth. Love. My studies, my tasks, my work due dragging behind me, the boulder slipping back down the hill, taking me with it. The miracle of being picked out from a crowd; the rumor of lust echoing throughout my body, just at the precipice of the mountain. Kilimanjaro, I call on you. 

[sketchbook-magic]

I saw a post about how everyone's talking about how they played with Barbie dolls due to the upcoming Barbie movie, and well I thought I'd put in my two cents.

First of all, I am female to male trans and have been struggling with gender identity since I was tiny and didn't know what words to use until I got older, and my mom was very adamant I play with dolls assigned to my birth gender. I didn't mind because I was very into fashion and makeup like a typical girl (I've always been a designer ❤️), I also liked the idea of royalty and the media didn't have many royal things other than princesses so I was kinda stuck with Barbie dolls. (And yet my mom is surprised I took my three childhood passions and got interested in drag. What's funnier is my high school technically made me their first prom drag queen. I identified as gender fluid throughout high school and my mom insisted I wear a dress but it happened to be a masculine day that day.)

Toys were probably the first hint that I was a gay child, and my mom knew this well and decided to force her will onto me through toys. When I was small I'd rather play with some G.I.Joes my grandpa collected and when my mom found out I was suddenly banned from my grandparents' room in their house she had no control over and had to play with Raggedy Ann's and Betty Boop dolls. (I will admit I looked up Betty's skirts many times and my mom is still shocked I'm attracted to females.) One time I decided to dress my boy dolls in drag including makeup and I found them in the trash the next day naked and without faces. And one incident I'm still salty about is I spent my allowance money on an RC Helicopter drone toy and my mom immediately exploded the moment she saw it and returned it to the store before it even got into our house and I didn't get my money back. I was, however, grounded for a month and had to go to church to do confession which my local church was not trained to do but my mom made sure the Protestant priest did it correctly the Catholic way.

And now whenever I mention I'm trans my mom likes to use me playing with dolls she forced me to play with as a child as evidence that I am indeed not trans and that me experimenting with gender and wanting to play with male toys never happened. And if you say otherwise she throws a child sized tantrum until you agree with her. Yet she says she's not abusive in anyway... All she does is sit in one spot and verbally and emotionally abuse everyone until she gets her way... She also openly admits now that she has manipulated me multiple times, especially when I ran away to get rid of her in my life and she pretended to call the police to have me arrested, and she thinks it's hilarious I fell for it. And the media thinks people like me are the ones grooming kids... Never considered a whale of a Catholic woman...

Anyways, that's my experience with Barbie dolls as a child.