#DYING OVER THERE THANKS. HOLDS HEAD IN HANDS

[calypso-rt]

When Rafe Realizes...

He’s Falling for You

-> Rafe x F!Reader

The sun was dipping below the horizon, casting golden light over the backyard as Rafe leaned back in his chair, the legs precariously balanced on the uneven patio bricks.

You were sitting beside him, scrolling on your phone, the occasional sound of your laughter breaking through the hum of cicadas.

He wasn’t sure when it started, but lately, he found himself watching you more than he should...at least more than someone who was supposedly "just friends" should.

He told himself it was harmless. You were easy to look at, after all, with your beautiful hair catching the light and your lips quirking into tiny smirks when you read something funny.

"Rafe," you said, your voice cutting through his daydream. You barely look up, your attention still on your screen. "Your hair is doing that weird thing again."

"My hair doesn’t do a weird thing," he shot back defensively, running a hand through it out of instinct.

You snorted, finally glancing up at him. "It absolutely does. Hold still."

Before he could protest, you leaned in, your fingers brushing against his forehead as you flattened a rogue piece that had sprung up, defying gravity. The touch was brief, just the lightest pressure of your hand smoothing over his hair, but Rafe felt his entire body tense like he’d just been electrocuted.

"There," you said, sitting back with a satisfied nod. "Now you look less like a mad scientist."

"I didn’t look like a mad scientist," he muttered, trying to ignore the warmth creeping up his neck.

"You kinda did," you teased, your focus already back on your phone.

Rafe leaned back again, a smug retort dying on his tongue as he felt the ghost of your touch still lingering. It wasn’t like you’d done anything grand. Just fixed his hair.

People did that kind of stuff all the time, right?

Except… no one else did it to him. And certainly not like that. There was something so natural about the way you’d reached over, like it was second nature, like it was the most normal thing in the world for you to touch him.

And now he was stuck, hyperaware of how the air still smelled faintly of your sunscreen from when you’d leaned in.

How the air between you had felt charged, even though you’d gone back to scrolling like it was nothing.

He shifted in his seat, trying to push the thought away, but it clung stubbornly to the edges of his mind. How could something so insignificant make him feel like the air had been knocked out of his lungs?

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched you laugh softly at something on your phone, oblivious to his internal crisis. He swallowed hard, his chair tipping back a little further as he tried to refocus.

How does something so insignificant feel so important?

"Careful," you warned without looking up. "Fall off that chair and I’m not driving you to the ER."

The corner of his mouth twitched.

You had no idea, did you?

No idea that one absent-minded touch had just tipped his entire world off balance.

"Thanks for your concern," he said dryly, finally steadying himself.

You gave him a fleeting smile, one he tried to memorize. Because somewhere in the chaos of his overthinking, Rafe Cameron was beginning to realize something terrifying and wonderful all at once.

He was falling for you, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

Rafe leaned against the counter of the grocery store, pretending to scroll on his phone while you wandered the aisles. He hadn’t even wanted to stop here, but you’d insisted on grabbing snacks before heading to the beach.

"What’s the big deal? It’s just food," he’d grumbled earlier, but you’d only rolled your eyes and dragged him along anyway.

Now he was waiting impatiently, glancing at his watch every few seconds. “You done yet?” he called out.

“Almost!” you yelled back. “I’m looking for something specific.”

He sighed dramatically. “We’re going to miss the sunset at this rate.”

When you finally rounded the corner, a triumphant grin on your face, you were holding a bag of… lemon pepper sunflower seeds?

“What’s that for?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

You blinked at him, clearly unimpressed. “For you, obviously.”

Rafe stared at the bag, then back at you. “What?”

“You told me a few weeks ago you used to eat these all the time when you were a kid. Remember? You said your dad used to bring them home after his fishing trips.”

For a moment, he was silent, caught completely off guard.

He had mentioned that, hadn’t he?

Some random memory he’d thrown out one evening, barely thinking about it. It wasn’t even important. Just some passing detail about his childhood.

But here you were, holding a bag of sunflower seeds like it was the most normal thing in the world to remember something so small.

“I didn’t think you’d…” he trailed off, scratching the back of his neck.

“Didn’t think I’d what? Listen to you?” you teased, tossing the bag into the basket.

“Well… yeah,” he admitted, a sheepish smile tugging at his lips.

You rolled your eyes playfully. “I always listen, Rafe. You just don’t talk enough for me to prove it.”

There was a lightness to your tone, but the words hit him harder than he expected. You listened to him. Actually listened. To the stuff no one else cared about, the random memories he’d barely even registered himself.

“Sheesh,” you said, breaking him out of his thoughts. “If I’d known this would blow your mind, I would’ve grabbed these for you weeks ago.”

“Shut up,” he muttered, but he was smiling now, following you toward the register.

As you paid, chatting casually with the cashier, Rafe kept glancing at the bag of sunflower seeds in your basket. Something so simple, but it made him feel… seen. Like you actually cared about the parts of him that most people ignored.

Walking out of the store, he finally nudged your shoulder. “Thanks. For, uh, remembering that.”

“Of course,” you said, flashing him a grin. “Just don’t eat them all at once. I’m not buying more if you get another craving later.”

He laughed, shoving his hands in his pockets as he fell into step beside you. Inside, though, his chest felt warm in a way he wasn’t used to.

She actually listens to me, he thought, stealing a glance at you as you debated what playlist to put on in the car. How is she so thoughtful?

And just like that, another piece of the puzzle slid into place. He was falling for you, headfirst and helplessly, and he wasn’t even mad about it.

The rain was relentless, pounding against the pavement like a drumline gone rogue. Your car sat lifeless on the shoulder of a backroad, hazards blinking uselessly in the downpour.

You’d tried everything.

Turning the key again and again, Googling quick fixes, even giving the steering wheel a good, frustrated whack.

Nothing worked.

Which is how you ended up sitting in the driver's seat, soaked from your earlier attempt to check under the hood, dialing a number you swore you wouldn’t use unless it was an absolute emergency.

“Rafe?” you said when he picked up, voice sheepish.

He immediately picked up on the edge in your tone. “Y/N? What’s wrong?”

“It’s probably nothing,” you rushed to say, cringing at how pathetic you sounded. “My car broke down, and it’s pouring, and I’m kind of stuck on the side of the road. I just… I didn’t know who else to call or...or what to do...”

For a second, there was nothing but the sound of the rain hammering against your windshield and the faint noise of his car’s radio in the background.

“Where are you?” he said, tone clipped and serious.

You gave him the location, muttering something about how you didn’t want to bother him if he was busy, but he cut you off.

“Stay put. Lock your doors. I’ll be there in ten.”

True to his word, Rafe’s truck pulled up exactly ten minutes later, tires skidding slightly as he parked in front of your car. You barely had time to roll down your window before he was at your door, an umbrella in one hand and an intense look in his eyes.

“You okay?” he asked, leaning down to peer inside.

“Yeah, just a little damp,” you joked, gesturing to your soggy clothes.

He didn’t laugh. Instead, he opened your door and handed you the umbrella before crouching to look under your hood himself.

“You didn’t have to come all the way out here,” you said, feeling a little guilty as you watched him fiddle with something. “I could’ve called a tow truck.”

“Yeah, and waited an hour for them to show up while sitting out here alone?” he shot back, not even looking up. “Not a chance.”

You blinked at him, surprised by the sharpness in his tone.

“Rafe, I’m fine—”

“You’re not fine,” he interrupted, standing up straight and wiping his hands on his jeans. “Your car’s dead, you’re soaking wet, and it’s pitch black out here. What if someone stopped by who wasn’t me, huh?”

The thought made your stomach flip, but you tried to shake it off. “I had my doors locked.”

“That’s not the point,” he muttered, running a hand through his damp hair.

You stared at him, taken aback by his uncharacteristic panic. “Why are you so worked up?”

“Because I care about you!” he snapped before freezing, like he hadn’t meant to say it out loud.

Your eyebrows shot up. “You… care about me?”

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, I care, okay? I don’t like the thought of you being stuck out here alone in the middle of nowhere. It freaks me out.”

For a moment, you didn’t know what to say. The Rafe you knew was cocky and confident, never flustered or vulnerable like this. Seeing him so visibly shaken made your chest ache in a way you couldn’t quite explain.

“Well,” you said softly, “thanks for coming to my rescue.”

He finally looked at you, his usual smirk nowhere in sight. “Always.”

You smiled, holding the umbrella a little higher to shield him from the rain. “Guess you’re not as heartless as you pretend to be.”

He rolled his eyes but couldn’t hide the faint grin tugging at his lips. “Don’t let that get around.”

As he helped you into his truck, soaking wet and dripping water all over his leather seats, he couldn’t help but glance at you out of the corner of his eye.

You shivered, hugging your arms to your chest in a futile attempt to ward off the cold.

Rafe’s eyes softened for a split second before he quickly reached for the spare jacket in the back seat, tossing it to you. “Here,” he muttered. “Put this on before you freeze to death.”

You gave him a grateful, but shaky, smile, slipping the jacket on. “Thanks, Rafe.”

He didn’t respond, but you caught the way he kept his eyes on you, making sure you were okay. The warmth of his jacket, the concern in his eyes, it was enough to make the cold rain outside feel like nothing.

She called me. Out of everyone, she called me.

And that’s when it hit him, hard and fast like a tidal wave. He wasn’t just smitten. He was utterly and completely gone for you.

Rafe sat back in his chair, his gaze lazily sweeping over the busy café. He had his usual coffee in front of him: black, no sugar, no cream.

Just the way he liked it.

It was a Saturday morning, and the place was a bit quieter than usual, with only a handful of people scattered at tables around him. His fingers tapped the rim of his cup as his mind wandered.

He was halfway through a text to a friend when he noticed something that made him stop mid-typing.

You had slid to sit across from him, sipping on your own cup of coffee. When you lowered it, you caught his eye and gave a small smile.

"Coffee’s perfect today," you commented, stirring it absentmindedly.

Rafe blinked, then stared at your cup for a second. It was identical to his: black, no sugar, no cream.

"You—" he started, his voice trailing off in confusion. You hadn’t ordered the same thing, had you? No, you always chose the caramel latte, but you had started transitioning to more bitter coffee...

His eyebrows furrowed, watching you take another sip.

"What?" you asked, noticing his stare.

"Why’d you..." Rafe caught himself. "Never mind."

He shook his head, chuckling under his breath. You’d been unconsciously drinking your coffee just the way he did. Had you even noticed?

His eyes narrowed slightly as he leaned back, his gaze not leaving you. You’d also been humming that same song he had been listening to on repeat all week. An old track by some band he'd introduced you to, one that had been stuck in his head for days.

When you softly hummed the chorus as you fidgeted with your phone, he couldn’t help but grin.

"You always hum that?" he asked casually, raising an eyebrow.

You stopped and blinked, then shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. I didn’t realize it was the same one we were playing the other day, though."

He sat forward slightly, his eyes searching your face for a moment, trying to figure out if you were joking, but there was something in the way you said it that made it clear: you weren’t aware of the little things.

How, over the past few weeks, your habits had begun to align with his.

And in that moment, Rafe felt a quiet thrill spread through him. You were becoming his person without even trying. Without even realizing it.

He leaned back, smiling to himself, then took a sip of his coffee. “Guess we’ve got the same taste,” he said with a half smirk, watching you carefully for your reaction.

You looked at him and shrugged again, clearly clueless about what had just happened.

"Guess so," you said, a playful glint in your eyes.

Rafe’s heart gave a small, almost imperceptible flutter.

You weren’t his yet. Not officially, at least. But in this small, unspoken moment, he was already beginning to feel like you were.

You had spent hours upon hours, which felt like minutes, talking, joking around, and watching ridiculous movies with stupid plots, chowing down on various snacks.

The door had clicked shut behind you with the usual soft thud, and now that you were gone, he couldn’t help but feel that sharp pang of longing in his chest. It was like someone had tugged at something deep inside him, pulling a part of himself along with you as you left.

Rafe’s lips pressed together, and his gaze drifted to the spot on the couch where you had just been sitting.

When did she start taking up so much space in my life?

He ran a hand through his hair, trying to shake the thought. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized how true it was. Every time you were around, everything felt just a little more... right.

Even the way the silence between the two of you felt more like a conversation than an awkward pause.

With a groan, he grabbed his phone, half-wishing he could text you to come back, but he knew that was ridiculous. You’d left, and it was just the way things were.

Still, as he sat there in the quiet, he couldn’t help but wonder how he’d gotten so used to your presence in his life.

And how much he already missed it.

[mameillieureennemie]

Hey i think it would be cool if you do another jinx x femreader ishas sister and something about isha walking in on a cute moment and getting grossed out maybe some angst😌 maybe some smut 😙😙 if u do that

hey love! sorry this took so long, but i hope you enjoy and thank you for the request :)

jinx x f!isha's sister!reader

there're hardly any moments you two can get alone. with the whole of piltover after you and the whole of zaun championing your girlfriend, it's been a very rough couple of weeks.

most of your time is spent hiding out, and during that time, you're entertaining isha as much as you can. whether that be through beetle brawling, drawing, or re-dying her hair so it doesn't lose its blue. it's anything you can do to keep her happy, to keep her away from the impending war that brews on outside.

but then a moment comes along where isha disappears. which isn't entirely odd because she's been known to vanish from time to time. you've grown used to it, after years of observing her movements, and calm jinx down when her look for isha grows a bit frantic.

"she's fine," you assure jinx, rubbing at her shoulder. "i wouldn't be this calm if i knew she wouldn't be."

"yeah, but," jinx says, running a shaky hand through her hair. "it's getting dangerous out there, and isha isn't us. she's young; she's practically a baby, and people are sick fucks with deranged brains and—"

you instantly draw jinx into your arms, tugging at her until her face is in the crook of your neck. you rub soothing circles against her back, softly cooing until jinx's muttering falls silent. then her arms are curling around your waist, holding you close, as if she's scared you'll disappear too.

"i know it's hard," you say gently. "to trust that things are okay. that the people you love are okay. but you can trust me and trust that i know what i'm talking about." you lean back so you can hold jinx's face in your hands, smoothing your thumbs over the angle of her cheekbones. "so trust me on this, okay? isha's fine, and she knows what to do if she runs into any trouble."

jinx seems unconvinced, but she slowly relaxes as she nuzzles into your touch. with a heavy sigh, she closes her eyes and says, "i've...never had to worry like this before. usually, it was others worrying about me. because i was the jinx, y'know? so it's odd...feeling this way."

you hum in response, still tracing patterns into her cheeks. "feeling what way?" you ask, a little curious and jinx opens her eyes with a shrug.

"responsible?" she tries, before shaking her head. "i don't know, i just—the idea of anything happening to you or isha rips me up inside. like i'd permanently lose my mind, go absolutely fucking crazy if something bad happened to you guys."

you hum again, this time with a hint of a chuckle. but her words have your heart racing because that's exactly how you feel. it also means that what jinx is experiencing is probably similar to your experience.

that she—

"you love us," you whisper, barely loud enough for jinx to hear. but she hears it, loud and clear, as she stares at you with eyes that momentarily look powder blue.

"i...do," she whispers, just as loud, and it's enough to push you. enough to have you pull her in so you can press a sweet kiss against her lips. a kiss she reciprocates eagerly, her arms still tight around your waist, placing you in a trap you hope to never escape.

just as she licks into your mouth with a soft moan, there's a noise that startles you both. you pull apart quickly, looking around and sighing when you see that it's isha.

whose nose is scrunched up in disgust, eyes clenched shut.

you can't help but laugh loudly as jinx snorts, refusing to let you go.

"some nerve you got," jinx scolds playfully. "you couldn't have come back in like twenty minutes?"

you shove jinx, just as playful, and say, "isha, you can open your eyes."

but isha shakes her head, intent of keeping her eyes safe.

but she's smiling now, and that's all that matters.

[adieutristana]

Hi! Can you write something cute with alt! powder? Like reverse comfort. Powder feels bad on the anniversary of Vi's death, and reader, her romantic partner, tries to make her feel better

of course! thank you for the request <3

you guys must really like my hurt/comfort LOL it's most of my inbox rn! not complaining though hehe

summary; powder’s girlfriend comforting her on the anniversary of vi’s death.

characters included; powder (act iii au)

tags/warnings; death (duh), grief, hurt/comfort, fluff, s2 spoilers, implied that reader and powder were childhood friends

men dni.

the scent of myrrh clings to the air.

today marks eight years since the death of vi. one of zaun's most promising, a young fighter with a heart of gold. determined, strong, and loyal.

but most importantly, vi, your girlfriend's big sister. her protector, one she looked to for guidance and love. comfort in trying times, such as these.

your hand is rubbing gentle circles along the skin of powder's lower back, trying to offer silent reassurance. it hurts you to see your love like this. her shoulders slumped, eyes weary, her gaze fixed solely on a photo of her sister. one where she seems so vibrant, so full of life. she didn't have a clue what the world had in store for her, the fact that her life would end so prematurely. it wasn't uncommon, people dying young in zaun. but powder never thought it would be vi.

"i still don't think it's fair."

she mutters, tone more somber than angry. you nod slowly, your hand continuing its patterns across powder's back.

"it isn't. she was taken too early."

you respond. powder doesn't speak for another beat afterward, tugging her knees to her chest and resting her chin on them as she continues to look over vi's altar. the doll of her sister, various lit candles, incense wafting through the air. a few small belongings of vi's that powder had managed to recover- some jewelry, little trinkets, the like.

"do you think she'd be surprised to see where i am now?"

you hum, wrapping your arm around her shoulder loosely and pressing your girlfriend into you. you take a deep breath in before nodding in response.

"i think so, yeah. her little sister, all grown up... a genius of sorts, too. always creating, always thinking."

she lets out a little 'mm,' continuing to gaze over the memorial.

"it wasn't always jobs and fighting, she was sweet. we used to pillow fight in our room when we couldn't sleep, and vi would always let me win." powder muses, a light chuckle escaping her. "she helped me learn to read and write, even though i got confused on sounding out letters and couldn't figure out how to hold a pencil at first."

you laugh at that, looking back over at powder.

"yeah? well, she was a good sister. that much is obvious to anybody who knew her."

powder hums in agreement, but she seems to slowly tense back up. she begins to pick at her cuticles and bite the inside of her cheek as she lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding. your girlfriend's blue eyes turn back to you.

"do you think she'd be... proud?"

you nod again, without missing a beat. powder didn't even have to ask that question, honestly. it was obvious to anybody who knew her that her late sister would be thrilled with how far she had come in life, with how zaun had changed for the better and powder was an active participant in that change. she had gone from an unsure, anxious girl to a confident, innovative woman. with the help of friends, family, the very people who supported vi.

"she is, pow."

"how can you be so sure?"

she sighs, but lays her head against your shoulder. choppy blue locks splayed across, with a slender arm wrapping around your waist.

"just look at you," you pause, returning your gaze back to your girlfriend. almost as if to emphasize your point. "you're a smart, kind, creative, genius of a woman."

powder scoffs lightly, shaking her head. you can tell she's about to make some remark in protest.

"i mean it, babe. you're a far cry from the powder she knew, but that's a good thing. she'd be proud that you made something for yourself, that you're happy. that you're living in a better zaun than she knew."

powder lets out a heavy sigh, her eyes finally meeting yours. seeing her like this always chips at your heart a little. she missed her big sister every day of every year, but this day never gets easier. it likely never will, no matter how many more years pass. vi's death left a hole in the city of zaun, in the heart of vander, in you, but nobody had suffered the loss more than the girl before you.

"i wish she would've got to see it." she hums, looking back to the altar. the incense sticks are nearly burnt out, the smoke getting thinner. "zaun, i mean. it's changed so much since she last saw it. people can build a life here, we aren't so neglected or war-torn or... whatever. hell, even vander and silco made up."

she scoffs in light amusement, betraying her current emotions. it's hard, knowing exactly what to say. you love powder, you want her to be happy. you've always hated seeing her so torn by grief. but grief is weird in those ways, never fully going away. hitting full-force while powder is in the middle of a crowded room, or powder feeling completely alright for a few weeks before her sister's death hits her all over again.

yet you've always been there to remind her of everything- and the fact that you don't ever get over it per se, but build a life around the grief instead. something you believe powder has done a fine job of.

"i know you wish she could've seen it. but wherever she is, i think she knows somehow."

powder sighs, her shoulders slumping in mild disbelief.

"yeah?"

"yeah. i mean, we don't know for sure about life after death, or spirits or any of that stuff. but i think that somehow, vi knows her sister is doing well, and that zaun is a better place than she knew it as."

the incense is finished burning.

"i'll get those."

you say before your girlfriend can get up. she lightly huffs, but doesn't try to stop you. you stride over to the altar, grabbing a few loose incense sticks.

"i know today is hard for you, love... it always is. but i'll be here the entire time, okay?" you pause to strike a match, bringing it to the tip of a few incense sticks. "you can do whatever you need to. talk to me. sit in silence. whatever you need."

you slowly sit down back beside powder, wrapping an arm around her shoulder from the side and squeezing in light reassurance. she lets out a shaky breath before settling her head back onto your shoulder.

"the whole time?"

"the whole time, love. i promise."

she sighs, turning her head to brush her lips against the soft skin of your shoulder. today is hell in more ways than one, but you make the torment a little bit more bearable.

"i like that... yeah."

[gullemec]

The Light

Bitten Part II

ao3 Bitten Masterlist

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: You've been bitten. The kiss of death, the harbinger of a swift descent into monstrosity. But what if the kiss was only a graze? What if the monstrosity awaiting you is an entirely different kind?

Warnings: description of infected, gore, description of injury and stitches, mild non-sexual bondage, talk of death/dying, fighting, angst talk of death and dying, negative self-talk

Please let me know if I missed any TWs <3

WC: 9.3k

A/N: thanks so much for the love on part one! this was an idea i had back in april of last year, fleshed out the first couple parts and then just... never looked at it again lol. i'm really excited for where this story is headed!

Light pricks at your eyelids, soft and persistent, like the gentle prod of a forgotten memory.

For a moment, that's all there is. A dim glow, filtering through the cracks of your awareness, stirring you from the silence of nothingness.

Then... Pain.

It creeps in slowly, like an uninvited guest, settling in your side, radiating out to your temples, clawing at your chest with a dull ache. Your limbs feel heavy, twitching with the prickling sensation of pins and needles.

Your body. Your tired, unresponsive body.

Suddenly, you inhale sharply, a breath that feels like it’s fighting its way out from the deepest part of you. It's ragged, uneven, the air rushing in like a desperate plea. Your eyelids flutter open, confusion clouding your vision, then clearing, just enough to bring the world into focus.

You’re still here. Sitting on the cold, uneven forest floor. Still bound to the tree. Still trapped in the remnants of the night. The soft light of dawn filters through the trees, dappling the earth in shifting patterns.

For a moment, you don’t know what to make of it. The warmth of the sun doesn’t feel real. It’s too soft. Too gentle for where you’ve been.

Your head jerks to the side, instinctively scanning your surroundings, eyes wide, fearful, and expectant. Of what? You’re not sure. You don’t even know what you're waiting for.

You fix your eyes on your legs, still curled awkwardly beneath you. Slowly, carefully, you try to move. The muscles in your legs groan in protest as you extend one foot, feeling the cold press of the forest floor against your boots. You wiggle your toes, the movement sluggish but real. The heel of your boot digs just slightly in the dirt.

You’re moving.

You reach out, your hands trembling as you press them to the ground, grasping at the dry, brittle leaves that coat the earth like a funeral shroud. The sensation is so... grounding. So mundane. Your fingers curl around the leaves as though they can tether you to this moment, to something that feels far too fragile to hold onto.

But the thought lingers.

Is this death?

You try to summon the answer from the deep pit of your stomach, but there’s nothing. No clear response. No immediate understanding of what’s happening to you. You want to believe it’s over, want to believe that everything that’s come before was just a nightmare. But there’s still the pain. Still the ache. Still the burning, slow creep of the world around you.

And yet… you’re still here.

You quickly take stock of the rest of your body, taking measured breaths as you go. Save for the gash at your side and the numb, prickly discomfort of having spent the night restrained upright against a tree, somehow you feel… Fine.

Your gaze snaps up, and you see the crumpled figure just ten feet away. Joel. He’s still there. Still motionless. But he’s not… he’s not dead, is he? The thought shoots through your chest like an electric shock.

No, he’s… asleep?

A gnawing sense of urgency blooms inside of you. You clear your throat, forcing your voice through the tightness. It comes out hollow, weak, like an echo in a long-abandoned room. 

“Joel,” you call, your throat raw with the remnants of silent hours.

His shoulder jerks, a small, involuntary twitch, but he doesn't move. Doesn’t wake. The quiet hangs thick between you, the uncertainty weighing heavier with every passing second.

You swallow hard, the dryness in your throat unbearable, desperate for moisture, for any sound to carry past the lump lodged there. Slowly, you try again, drawing in a deep breath to push your voice out stronger.

“Joel!” This time, your voice catches, but it rises above a whisper, forceful in the way you feel the need to be heard.

His eyes snap open, his head jerking around toward the sound. For a split second, there’s nothing but confusion in his gaze, the remnants of sleep clouding his focus as his body starts to come to life, limbs stiff and uncoordinated, still half-trapped in the fog of slumber. He blinks at you, disoriented, and the realization strikes you both at once.

You’re awake.

You’re both awake.

The world, whatever shape it may be taking now, has shifted again.

Joel blinks once more, his eyes darting from the ground to you, the last dregs of sleep draining from his mind. 

And, in that instant, his gaze locks on yours, a moment of recognition flickering across his face, then the confusion sets in again.

Finally, he turns to you, his eyes wide, unguarded, and filled with something that sends a shiver down your spine. You stare at each other, suspended in an eternity of silence. His gaze flickers over you as he rises, movement slow and tentative, as though any sudden motion might shatter the strange, fragile new reality you’ve both found yourselves in.

The tension between you is palpable. It feels as though even the air around you has thickened, holding its breath.

“You… You’re still alive,” he whispers, the words almost a prayer, like he’s trying to convince himself of what he’s seeing. He stops just a few steps away from you, eyeing you with a wariness that makes your chest tighten. There’s a hesitation in the way he regards you now, as though he’s afraid that in a split second, you might vanish. Or worse, turn. His eyes search yours, looking for something, anything to confirm that the nightmare isn’t still unfolding. 

The soft light of dawn bathes his face in a gentle glow, casting long shadows beneath his eyes. They’re rimmed red, a mix of exhaustion and something deeper, something harder to place. You can see it, the hollow echo of sleep that never truly found him. His brows are drawn tight, his jaw clenched in a futile attempt to contain the emotions roiling within him. The tension in his body is a coil wound too tight, waiting for something to snap.

And still, you remain like this, frozen in a moment neither of you were prepared for. The silence stretches on, heavy with the weight of disbelief. Neither of you knows what to say, or how to bridge the chasm that has opened between you in the wake of everything that has transpired.

Finally, the silence is broken, and you feel the tremble in your voice as you speak.

“W-will you untie me?” The words come out more fragile than you intend, the vulnerability of your plea stark in the stillness of the morning. The shame you might’ve felt last night, the desperation of your condition, has melted away with the rising sun. In its place is something more hopeful, more alive. A smile, small and hesitant, curves at the edges of your lips. You’re alive. You’ve been given a second chance, and for the first time since this nightmare began, you can feel the smallest spark of hope. “Please?”

But the moment you speak, you see it. The way his face hardens, the flicker of something dark in his eyes. It’s not anger, it’s something else. His jaw tightens as if he’s fighting the urge to say something, to act in a way that goes against every instinct in his body.

He doesn’t know who you are. What you are.

You reach out, your voice shaking but insistent. “Joel, come on. Look at me. I’m okay. I’m…” The words trail off as the weight of his expression hits you. There’s something in his gaze now that’s almost painful to see. A quiet agony that cuts deeper than any physical wound.

You’ve seen Joel go cold before. You’ve witnessed the brutal efficiency of his violence, the way he’s turned into a machine of survival, calculating, precise, with a terrifying detachment. His eyes have glazed over in those moments, a heavy curtain drawn over his vulnerabilities. You’ve wondered before, in the quiet aftermath of his brutality, if there were even vulnerabilities to be obfuscated, or if twenty years in an apocalyptic wasteland had voided the man of any.

But now, you know that he is indeed capable of vulnerability. Because the man standing before you is afraid. Afraid of you.

The realization is like ice water pouring over you. 

His voice breaks the silence, thick with regret and something far worse. “I can’t do that.” The words are soft, but they’re heavy with the weight of everything he’s holding back. “I can’t.” His gaze falls, not out of shame, but out of fear, the same fear that lingers just beneath his every word. Fear of what you might become. Fear of what’s left of you.

“Joel, please,” you say, your voice trembling, a thin thread of desperation weaving its way through your words. “I’m cold, and it hurts so bad.” There’s a tinge of a whine that slips in, unbidden, but you can’t find it in yourself to care. If you weren’t above begging him to spare your life last night, you’re certainly not above begging for a little relief now. Pride feels irrelevant when pain digs deep into your bones. “And I’m really fucking hungry.”

At that, his eyes flicker up to meet yours, a spark of something flashing. Concern? Hesitation? It breaks through the cautious distance he’s tried so hard to maintain. For a moment, you swear you see the Joel you used to know, the one who’d always grumble about how much of a burden you were but would still push the last can of food into your hands without a word.

“Not like that,” you huff, catching the guarded expression tightening his features. “I’m hungry for food, not flesh. Jesus, Joel.” 

You roll your eyes for good measure, even though every movement sends a fresh wave of pain rippling through your side. The absurdity of the situation, the mere fact that you have to clarify such a thing, almost makes you laugh. Almost.

Joel doesn’t respond right away. Instead, he ticks his jaw, his teeth grinding as he glances away from you. You can see the tension in the lines of his shoulders, the way his body looks like it’s fighting itself, caught in some internal war. He shakes his head once, muttering something under his breath, maybe a curse, maybe a prayer.

And then, finally, he moves. His broad hand reaches for his pack, the rough material crinkling under his touch. You watch him sift through its contents, the methodical way he checks and rechecks as though stalling for time, before he pulls out a familiar red can.

Your eyes widen in excitement, and despite everything, a grin stretches across your face. “Oh my god,” you exclaim, your voice brimming with exaggerated reverence. “Chef Boyardee. Yes!”

Slowly, carefully, as though he expects you might rip through the bindings and lunge at him at any moment, Joel feeds you. His hands move with deliberate gentleness, the rough pads of his fingers steadying the spoon as he lifts each small bite of ravioli to your mouth. He’s careful not to smear sauce on your face, wiping the edge of the spoon against the rim of the can before offering it to you.

You can’t help but notice how his jaw clenches with each motion, how his brow furrows as though he’s fighting an internal battle with every bite you take. This act of care is almost unbearable to witness. It’s too intimate, too kind, and yet laced with suspicion. Tainted. When he finally deems you satiated, Joel sets the can down, rising to his feet with a stiffness that looks painful.

Without a word, he retreats to the tree where he spent the night, resuming his self-imposed quarantine. Settling at its base, he digs into his pack and pulls out a bag of jerky. You watch as he breaks his own fast, chewing mechanically, his dark eyes darting toward you every few seconds. He’s still watching, always watching, like a goddamn guard dog.

“So…” you start, shifting uncomfortably against the ropes binding you to the tree. The sharp edges dig into your wrists, and the ache in your muscles makes it impossible to sit still for long. “How long do you plan on keeping me tied to this tree?”

Joel pauses mid-chew, his jaw flexing as he stares at the ground. He doesn’t answer right away, and you almost regret asking.

You continue, voice softer now, trying to keep the edge of irritation from creeping in. “I get it, Joel. I do. You’re being cautious. I’d probably do the same in your position.”

The words feel hollow as they leave your mouth, though. Would you really?

In fact, if you had been in his position, if your companion had been bit, it wouldn’t have gotten this far. You’ve seen the bite before, the slow unraveling of hope as infection takes hold. Each time, you’ve done what needed to be done. A quick, merciful shot to the head. No hesitation. No wavering. It was survival, plain and simple.

Only now you start to question yourself. Yes, you had delivered many swift and merciful bullets to the brains of infected companions and strangers alike. But you had never felt anything stronger than passing empathy for them, never having traveled with one person for more than a few months. As you watch Joel, heavy eyes betraying his otherwise stoic demeanour, you wonder if your finger would twitch on the trigger, if you would hesitate if it were him.

The silence between you stretches, and you find yourself studying him again. His face, weathered and worn, carries the weight of someone who’s seen too much, done too much. His eyes, though weary, are sharp, like he’s still waiting for the moment he’ll have to act. To decide.

This is dangerous territory. Not just the question of what you’d do if the tables were turned, but the way your thoughts keep circling back to him. To Joel. To where the two of you stand now.

You’ve survived this long by keeping your walls high, your attachments fleeting, your goodbyes easy. It’s what’s kept you alive, kept your heart from splitting open every time someone was taken by this broken world. You told yourself that was the only way to make it. And yet, here you are, tied to this godforsaken tree, staring at the man who won’t meet your gaze, wondering how much of yourself you’d lose if Joel weren’t here anymore.

How much longer is he going to keep you like this? How long before he decides whether or not you’re still human?

The answer is two more hours because that’s how long it takes Joel to tear down the camp.

Two long hours spent watching Joel work. His movements are efficient, methodical, as he gathers your belongings, packing up everything with the quiet precision of someone who’s spent years honing the art of survival. He shoulders his pack, then yours, the added weight slowing his gait. Even now, his vigilance is a constant, he’s watching the treeline, glancing at you every so often, like he’s bracing for the moment everything might fall apart.

When he finally turns to you, kneeling before you in the dirt, it’s not with the relief or trust you’d hoped for. His eyes are wide, cautious, and so painfully guarded it makes your chest ache.

He takes your face in his hand, his rough palm enveloping your jaw. His thumb brushes against your cheek as he turns your head from one side to the other, inspecting every inch of you like he’s searching for cracks in a facade, some confirmation of what he fears most.

You gape at him, silently pleading for him to believe you, to see you. That despite the bite mark seared into your side, you’re still here. Still yourself. His eyes rake over every inch of your face but he will not meet your gaze, as though the real danger is held there. Perhaps it is.

With a resigned sigh, Joel reaches behind you, his fingers deftly working at the ropes binding you to the tree. The tension against your side relaxes, and a long, stuttered breath escapes your lips as the pressure biting into your skin all night finally eases.

“Let me look at that,” Joel says gruffly, gesturing to the dried bloom of blood copper-red on your shirt.

You hesitate, heart hammering in your chest, before pulling up the fabric. The shirt cracks and crinkles as it peels away, stiff and dry with old blood. You reveal the wound, a mess of coagulated red and purple, skin puckered around the crescent-shaped gashes of the bite.

Joel leans forward, hesitating. His face twists into a grimace, and his fingers ghost over the torn flesh, the gentlest touch you’ve ever known from him. His eyes flicker with something unspoken, a mix of dread and reluctant hope, before he pulls back and reaches into his pack.

“You’re gonna need stitches,” he mutters, shaking his head.

“What, here? Right now?” you ask, incredulous.

“We need to start moving,” he snaps, his voice rough and irritated. “We’re already gonna be slow enough as it is. You may have survived a bite, somehow, but you sure as hell won’t survive sepsis.”

He doesn’t wait for your reply. Rising to his feet, he strides toward the roaring river where you’d been collecting water less than a day ago. His movements are brisk, his shoulders tense. He beckons you to follow him without looking back.

Still unsteady on your feet, you stumble after him, each step pulling at the ache in your side. Joel crouches by the riverbank, pulling out an old, battered first-aid kit, its edges frayed from years of use.

Washing his hands in the cold, rushing water, he wets a scrap of cloth and motions for you to come closer.

“Why don’t you lay on your side,” he says quietly. “It’ll be easier that way.”

You hesitate, but the sharp look he gives you leaves no room for argument. Awkwardly, you lower yourself to the ground, stretching out with your torn skin exposed to his watchful gaze. The bite mark isn’t clean, far from it. The jagged crescents are framed by shallow parallel scratches where the infected had clawed at you in desperation, trying to tear into your flesh.

Joel kneels beside you, and for a moment, he just stares at the wound, the lines around his mouth tightening. Then, with a practiced efficiency that belies the storm roiling behind his eyes, he begins to clean the area, the damp cloth dragging across the dried blood and raw edges of flesh.

You flinch at the sting, but Joel’s hand steadies you, his grip firm but careful. He doesn’t look at your face, but you see the tension in his jaw, the way his throat bobs when he swallows hard.

“Hold still,” he murmurs, his voice softer now, almost apologetic.

And so you do. For once, you stay perfectly still, letting him work, trying to ignore the way his hands tremble ever so slightly as they move over your skin.

“That fucker got me good,” you laugh, the sound brittle and strained. You’re desperate to fill the silence, to lighten the crushing weight of the moment. “Hurts worse than the time I got stabbed in the ribs by a raider.”

You glance at Joel, hoping for a crack in his stoic exterior, a shared moment of levity. But he doesn’t laugh. He doesn’t even look at you. His expression is carved from stone, his focus fixed entirely on the work in front of him.

The laughter dies in your throat, replaced by a wince as the sting of antiseptic burns through the wound. You turn your head away, though you’re not sure why. What’s left for you to prove to him? The last of your pride bled out hours ago when you fell to your knees and begged for your life, showing him just how small and vulnerable you really are. Just a pitiful girl in a world too cruel for softness, surviving only by the grace of others.

“It’s ‘cause the skin tore,” Joel finally speaks, his voice rough and measured, cutting through the quiet like gravel underfoot. He threads the needle with steady hands, though his words are anything but comforting. “It’s not as clean of a cut, so it hurts more.”

“Probably didn’t help that there was a rope digging into it for hours,” you offer weakly, forcing another laugh. The attempt at humor feels hollow, and Joel doesn’t budge. His jaw stays tight, his eyes locked on your side as he works.

The first stitch pulls, sharp and precise, and you clamp your teeth together, screwing your eyes shut. You summon what little strength you have left, focusing on your breathing. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Even so, the pain is relentless, a fiery throb radiating from the wound with every tug of the needle.

But it’s not just the pain that makes your head spin. It’s him. The sheer proximity of Joel, close enough to feel the heat of his body, to hear the low rasp of his breathing. It’s grounding and overwhelming all at once, and you teeter on the edge of losing yourself to it entirely.

When he pulls at a particularly tender spot, the pain finally breaches your fragile composure. A pained moan escapes your lips before you can stop it, raw and involuntary. Your hand darts out, digging into the dirt beside you, searching for anything to anchor yourself.

Joel flinches.

The movement is subtle but unmistakable. His hands freeze mid-stitch, and for a brief moment, he pulls back. Your eyes fly open, and what you see in his expression sends a jolt through your chest.

He’s wearing that mask again. The one he wore when he first looked at you this morning, still bound to the tree. The one he wore when he held his gun to your head last night.

He’s afraid of you. He’s afraid of you and it fucking kills you. 

You want to say something, to reassure him, but the words don’t come. They’re stuck in your throat, lodged behind the ache of the wound and the weight of his mistrust.

“Joel,” you whisper, voice trembling, but he cuts you off with a sharp shake of his head.

“Don’t,” he says firmly, the word rough and final. His eyes flicker for a moment, not quite meeting yours, before he forces himself to return to the task at hand.

His hands tremble as he picks up the needle again, and this time, you don’t dare make another sound.

When he’s done stitching you up, Joel rummages through his pack without a word, his eyes darting anywhere but at you. You stay hunched at the riverside, your breaths shallow and deliberate as you fight off the darkness threatening to creep in at the edges of your vision.

The pain is a dull roar now, throbbing in time with your heartbeat, but it’s not as sharp as it was when the stalker first bit you. Back then, adrenaline had carried you, numbing the worst of it. Now there’s nothing to shield you from the raw ache but the weight of your own shame, guilt, and embarrassment.

You can feel the sticky warmth of fresh blood seeping through Joel’s makeshift stitches, soaking into the tattered remnants of your shirt. It dribbles down your side in thin, lazy rivulets. The fabric clings to you, its once-white cotton now marred by layers of copper-red.

You glance down at it and can’t help but let your mind wander. The pattern of darkened patches spreading across the fabric reminds you, in some sick, twisted way, of the tie-dye shirt you made at summer camp when you were eleven. You almost laugh, the thought absurd and surreal, but the sound gets caught in your throat, swallowed by the weight of reality.

Movement in your periphery draws your attention. Joel tosses something in your direction, and it lands at your feet with a soft thud.

It’s a flannel shirt. One of his. Faded and well-worn, its plaid pattern softened from years of use. You reach for it instinctively, your fingers grazing the fabric. It’s soft, softer than you expect, especially coming from a man as rough around the edges as Joel.

“You should change outta that shirt,” he says gruffly, his voice quieter now, almost hesitant.

And then he turns his back to you, giving you privacy.

You take a deep breath, steadying yourself as you brace against the tree to pull yourself upright. Your legs tremble beneath you, weak and unsteady, as though the weight of your body might crumble them at any moment. You glance at Joel’s broad shoulders, his back still turned.

You should be grateful. You’re vulnerable, broken, and the last thing you want is to feel exposed. But instead of comfort, his averted gaze leaves you feeling hollow, untethered.

You remind yourself that this isn’t the first time Joel’s seen you like this. The two of you have shared countless moments of necessity and survival in varying states of undress, bathing in rivers, changing into dry clothes after rainstorms. But this is different. You’re different.

 You swallow hard and turn your focus to the shirt in your hands. The fabric is warm where the sun has touched it, and it smells faintly of him. Wood smoke, sweat, and something earthy. You pull it close, letting the softness press against your chest, trying to summon the strength to shed the bloody remnants of your own shirt.

Still, as you begin to strip away the stained and tattered fabric, you can’t stop yourself from glancing over at him. Joel stands stiff and still, his hands at his sides. His head tilts slightly, like he’s listening for something, a threat in the woods, perhaps, or maybe just the sound of your breathing.

You almost want him to turn around. To look at you.

Not because you need him to see you like this, broken and weak, but because some part of you believes that his gaze might keep you grounded. Might keep you real. Like the act of him looking at you, acknowledging you, could confirm your humanity, the thing you’ve been clinging to with every ounce of strength you have left.

“Thanks,” you murmur as you pull the flannel over your shoulders, the fabric enveloping you in its warmth.

He doesn’t respond, but you catch the subtle shift in his posture, a slight tilt of his head, the barest hint of an acknowledgment.

As you tighten the flannel around yourself, you catch Joel slinging your pack over his shoulder, along with his own. The sight makes your chest tighten, a quiet but insistent stab of frustration lodging itself deep within you.

“Joel,” you call out, your voice steadier now, though it still carries the faint rasp of exhaustion.

He pauses, turning just enough to glance at you over his shoulder. His expression is unreadable, stoic as ever, but you catch the faintest flicker of something in his eyes—weariness, maybe, or worry.

“I can carry my pack,” you offer, stepping closer and reaching for the strap.

He doesn’t let you take it. Instead, his grip tightens, knuckles whitening slightly as he pulls it closer to his chest.

“It’s too heavy,” he says flatly. “You’ll pull your stitches.”

You blink at him, your hand frozen mid-air. “Joel, I’m not helpless—”

“Didn’t say you were,” he cuts in sharply, his tone carrying just enough of an edge to make you flinch. He exhales deeply, glancing away as if to steady himself. When he looks back at you, his voice softens. “You’ve been through hell. Your body needs time to heal. Let me carry it.”

There’s no anger in his voice, but there’s no room for argument, either. His stance is firm, unyielding, and you know better than to push him. You drop your hand and step back, feeling the air between you grow heavier.

“Fine,” you murmur, though the word tastes bitter on your tongue.

Joel gives a small nod, like that settles it, and turns away to start back through the trees. You follow, your footsteps sluggish and uneven as you try to keep pace with him.

The sight of him ahead of you, his broad shoulders burdened by the weight of two packs, his stride deliberate and steady despite the extra load, fills you with emotions you’re not entirely sure how to name, let alone untangle.

You should be grateful. You know that.

But all you feel is the sharp, gnawing weight of your own inadequacy.

You’ve always pulled your weight. Always. In this world, there’s no room for weakness, no room for anyone who can’t hold their own. But now, with Joel hauling your pack alongside his, you can’t shake the feeling that you’ve become exactly what you’ve fought so hard not to be. 

A burden.

It’s not just the physical weight he’s carrying—it’s you. The wounded, bitten woman trailing behind him, the one who confessed her love to him and received no reply.

The one who still might turn at any moment.

I’m still me, you want to scream, but what proof do you have to offer him? You can barely walk in a straight line without wobbling. You can’t even carry your own damn pack.

Your chest tightens further with every step, the shame coiling tighter around your ribs like a vice. Joel keeps moving, silent and steady, the crunch of his boots on the dirt trail the only sound between you.

The distance between you grows, not just physically, but in your mind too. He’s up there, strong and capable, bearing the weight of everything you can’t. And you’re back here, stumbling, sinking deeper into the pit of your own thoughts. This isn’t what he agreed to when you left the QZ together.

You watch him, shoulders stooped under the weight of both packs, and a cruel thought slithers in.

He’d be faster without you.

You can’t stop thinking about how easy it would be for him to leave you behind. How he wouldn’t have to carry this weight, both yours and his, if you weren’t here.

The anguish churns in your stomach, a festering knot of guilt and fear. Joel would never leave you behind. You know that. But it doesn’t stop the voice in your head from whispering harshly.

How much longer can you expect him to carry you?

Ahead of you, Joel adjusts the straps on his shoulders, his movements brisk and practiced. The sight only deepens the ache inside you, the image of him shouldering the burden so quietly, so completely.

You force yourself to keep moving, one step at a time, your breaths shallow and uneven. The weight he carries is physical, tangible, visible.

But the weight pressing down on you is just as heavy.

…

The sun sits low and heavy in the sky, bleeding soft golds and burnt oranges across the horizon, when you and Joel finally stop to rest. The landscape feels quiet, save for the crunch of his boots against the dirt and the rhythmic rustle of his movements as he sets to work. Joel doesn’t say a word to you—hasn’t for hours—and you don’t try to speak, either. The silence feels fragile, like it might shatter if either of you says the wrong thing.

You stand there, awkward for the first time ever in Joel’s presence. At the very beginning, things between you had been cold, distant, transactional. Two strangers forced together by circumstance, bound only by your proximity and shared will to survive. But it had never been awkward. There’d always been a clear understanding between you, unspoken but solid. You pull your weight, he pulls his. Equals. Partners, even, in some loose, tenuous sense of the word.

But now? Now you have no idea where you stand with Joel.

The man, always so stoic, so gruff, so practical, had shown you mercy. Mercy you begged for, pleaded for, but weren’t sure you deserved. It would’ve been easier, cleaner, for him if he’d just done what you had agreed upon. What you’ve done yourself, more times than you’d care to count. But Joel had hesitated. And while you’ve clung to that hesitation like a lifeline, you can’t ignore the way he looks at you now.

The truth is clear in the wary glances he casts your way, the way his shoulders tense when you move, the distance he keeps between you. Something immense has shifted, changed.

You try to make yourself useful, but every time you take a step toward him, toward the tripwires he’s setting, toward the firepit he’s building, he shifts away, his movements just slightly quicker, more guarded. It’s subtle, but it’s there. Like he’s a wolf and you’re some strange, untrustworthy creature circling too close to his den.

So you stand there, useless, watching as he works with grim determination, his actions precise and practiced. His hands stack stones into a small ring for the fire, their rough, calloused movements so achingly familiar it hurts. You’ve seen these same hands patch your wounds, fix broken gear, hold a gun steady against impossible odds. And yet, when you think of those hands on you now, gentle, protective, intimate, it feels like a fantasy.

Your sleeping bag hangs limply in your hands as you watch him unfurl his own beside a tree, pointedly a few feet away from where the fire will be. He doesn’t ask if you’re okay, doesn’t offer you the same reassurance he’s always managed to, even in his blunt, gruff way. He just works, and for a moment, you feel like a stranger all over again.

You want nothing more than to set your bag up next to his. Hell, forget next to—you’d crawl into his sleeping bag if you thought he’d let you, let him pull you into his arms the way you dream about on the nights when the fear and the pain are too much. You want the safety of his warmth, the reassurance of his presence, the simple proof that you’re still human in his eyes.

But when you lay your sleeping bag down, tentatively, cautiously, a couple of feet from his, Joel looks up. His eyes narrow slightly, his lips pressing into a thin line.

Your heart sinks. For a moment you think he’s going to pull that damned nylon rope out again, damning you to another night bound to a tree. The mere thought has your stomach roiling.

“Why don’t you sleep closer to the fire,” he says, voice even but firm.

You blink at him, confused. “What?”

“Be better for you,” he says, nodding toward the firepit. “Warmer.”

The words hit you harder than they should. It’s a practical suggestion, one Joel would’ve made a hundred times before. But now, in this strange new reality you’re forging through, it feels like rejection. It feels like he’s pushing you away. Not physically, not really, but in every way that matters.

It takes everything in you not to cry right there, in front of him. Not to let the fragile composure you’ve managed to hold onto since that stalker sank its teeth into you crumble entirely. You look down at your sleeping bag, then back up at him, searching his face for something, anything, that might soften the blow. But Joel’s eyes are unreadable, his expression hard as stone.

“Yeah,” you say finally, your voice small and unsteady. “Sure. That makes sense.”

You pick up your sleeping bag and move it closer to the fire, your hands trembling slightly as you smooth it out on the ground. You don’t look at Joel again, and he doesn’t say another word.

The fire crackles quietly as the sun dips below the horizon, and you lay there, staring at the sky. You feel the distance between you and Joel like a physical weight, a chasm growing wider with every wary glance, every cautious word. And yet, despite the growing ache in your chest, you can’t bring yourself to blame him.

You’d be afraid of you, too.

…

The days that follow are steeped in a silence so heavy it feels like another weight in your pack. You and Joel move through the wilderness like two ghosts, tethered only by the faint sound of boots crunching against dirt and the occasional snap of a twig. He leads the way, his shoulders hunched with purpose, his gaze fixed ahead. You trail behind, watching his back, wondering if you’ll ever feel the comfort of standing beside him again.

It’s not the silence itself that hurts, it’s the way it’s filled with all the things neither of you can bring yourselves to say. A hundred words linger on the tip of your tongue, only to die in the quiet air between you. You tell yourself that Joel has words too, buried somewhere deep beneath his stoic exterior, but he never lets them rise. When he looks at you, and it’s rare, his gaze is fleeting, sharp, and edged with something you don’t want to name. Not anger, not guilt, but something close.

You try, in your own quiet ways, to bridge the distance. You hand him water when he’s too focused on the map to reach for his own. You catch a rabbit and offer to cook it, wanting to prove you’re still capable of more than slowing him down. You try to meet his eyes when you pass him his share, but he doesn’t look at you, doesn’t speak, just mutters a gruff thanks and turns his attention elsewhere. Each rejection, no matter how small, stings more than it should.

And yet, you can’t stop trying. You find yourself studying the sharp lines of his face in profile as you walk, searching for cracks in the cold armor he’s built around himself. You start speaking softly to fill the silence, comments about the weather, the trees, memories of the places you’ve both been before. At first, you think he doesn’t hear you, but then you notice the subtle twitch of his jaw, the faint narrowing of his eyes. He’s listening, even if he won’t acknowledge it.

But Joel remains distant, his reluctance hanging between you like a stormcloud. When you stumble, he catches your arm, steadying you with a firm grip, but he doesn’t let it linger. When you ask him for his thoughts on the path ahead, he keeps his answers clipped and to the point, giving nothing more than necessary. It’s as if he’s trying to remind himself, and you, that there’s a line between you now, one that didn’t exist before.

And still, there are the stares. The ones you steal when he’s not looking, the ones you think he doesn’t notice. And then there are the ones you catch from him, fleeting and filled with something unspoken. They come when he thinks you’re distracted, his gaze flickering over you like he’s searching for something. Maybe reassurance. Maybe proof. Maybe nothing at all.

By the third day, the tension between you feels taut enough to snap. You’re no closer to closing the chasm than when you started, and Joel seems further away with every mile. You wonder if the silence will swallow you whole before he ever lets you in again. And worse, you wonder if he even wants to.

…

The cabin appears like a mirage in the dense wilderness, tucked away behind a curtain of pine and birch. It’s small, unassuming, half-hidden beneath a sagging roof and weather-worn boards. Joel spots it first, his sharp eyes catching the faintest glint of sunlight reflecting off one of the cracked windows. Without a word, he gestures for you to follow, his rifle slung low but ready.

You trail after him, exhaustion biting at your heels with every uneven step. The hike had been grueling, your body protesting every movement, but you pressed on. You always did.

Joel reaches the door first, testing it with a cautious hand. It creaks open with a groan of rusted hinges, revealing the dim interior beyond. The air smells faintly of damp wood and decay, but it’s shelter, and in the apocalypse that’s more than enough.

“Stay behind me,” he mutters, his voice low but firm. You don’t argue.

The inside is a testament to abandonment. Dust blankets the sparse furniture, cobwebs drape the corners like Halloween decorations, and the remnants of someone’s life lay scattered and forgotten. A tipped-over chair. A shattered picture frame. The faint outline of boot prints long since faded into the floorboards.

Joel moves methodically, sweeping each corner with the barrel of his rifle. When he’s satisfied it’s clear, he lowers the gun and lets out a breath.

“We’ll stop here for the night,” he says, his tone leaving no room for debate.

You nod, stepping inside and shutting the door behind you. The weight of the day clings to you like a second skin, and for a moment, you lean against the doorframe, letting the relative safety of the cabin wrap around you like a fragile embrace.

Joel doesn’t stop moving. He checks the windows, tests the locks, and places a chair beneath the doorknob for good measure. You watch him from where you stand, his movements mechanical and precise, like he’s following a script.

It hits you, then, just how quiet it’s been between you lately. Not the comfortable kind of quiet, the kind you’d grown used to over the past year, but a heavy, suffocating silence. You open your mouth to say something, anything, but the words die before they reach your lips.

Joel is already moving toward the fireplace, crouching to inspect it.

“There’s enough wood to get a fire going,” he mutters, more to himself than to you.

You nod again, even though he isn’t looking at you, and set your pack down on the floor. The cabin feels colder than it should, the air between you as icy as the draft slipping through the cracks in the walls.

When Joel finally stands, brushing his hands on his jeans, his eyes meet yours for the briefest of moments. It’s enough to send a pang through your chest, sharp and unforgiving.

“Make yourself useful,” he says gruffly, nodding toward the overturned chair. But his tone lacks its usual bite, and you can’t tell if it was because he was tired or because he didn’t have the heart to put more venom behind his words.

You swallow down the lump forming in your throat and turn away, moving to set the chair upright.

The tension simmers in the air, unspoken but palpable. You both work in near silence, clearing space, setting up camp inside the cabin. But even as you move, your thoughts churn, and the walls around your heart that you’d tried so hard to rebuild feel paper-thin.

And when it’s done, when the fire crackles weakly in the hearth, and the room is as ready for the night as it can be, you find yourself staring at Joel, the weight of everything unsaid pressing down on you.

That’s when it hits you, sharp and clear. Nothing is the same anymore. You’d thought finding this cabin, the safest spot you’d found in weeks, would bring relief, but all it had done was throw the widening chasm between you and Joel into stark relief.

And that’s where the anger begins.

Days ago, you had stared death in the face, resigned yourself to its inevitability. All of the fighting, the loss, the blood your hands accrued over two decades, it was supposed to mean something. It was supposed to buy you more time. And yet, in the violence of a single moment, all that effort had been rendered meaningless.

And you had chosen, in those final, fleeting moments, to dedicate your last breaths to one final act of defiance—not against the infected, not against the collapse of society, but against your own fear. Against the walls you’d built around yourself. You’d spoken the truth aloud, unvarnished and raw, to the one person who had somehow slipped past your defenses. You’d confessed everything, your truest, deepest feelings for Joel Miller, the man who had, against all odds, become your anchor in this godforsaken world.

And what had he done with it?

Nothing.

No, worse than nothing. He had pushed you away. Regarded you as a burden, as a monster. His eyes, always sharp and guarded, had turned colder than you’d ever seen them, full of calculation and something that looked a hell of a lot like regret. 

Regret that he hadn’t left you tied to that tree. 

Regret that he hadn’t done the merciful thing and put a bullet in your head the moment he found you bleeding on the river’s edge.

And that sting of rejection was sharper than any wound you’d ever endured. It clawed at your insides, turning over and over in your mind like a blade you couldn’t pull free. You’d given him everything, your trust, your companionship, your heart, and now he looks at you like you’re a problem he doesn’t know how to solve.

And now here you are, alive, breathing, but somehow less whole than when you’d faced your supposed end. The bite hadn’t turned you into a monster, but his rejection? That had made you feel like one.

“Be honest, Joel. Why'd you tie me to that tree?” The words spill out sharper than you intended, slicing through the stillness. You stand from where you’re sitting and glare at his back. “I’ve seen you put a bullet between the eyes of good men for lesser threats than a bite. I’ve listened to them beg for their lives, and you never hesitated, not once.”

Your voice trembles, but your stare does not. He knows it, you can see the tension stiffen his shoulders. He doesn’t turn around, doesn’t meet your gaze, keeping his focus fixed stubbornly ahead.

“Why am I still alive?”

He exhales roughly, the sound carrying a mix of frustration and something else, something you can’t name. “I don’t know why the hell you’re still alive,” he mutters, his tone clipped, low, but no less biting. “You shouldn’t be.”

“Why do I feel like you’re mad at me for being alive?” you shoot back, incredulous. Your voice rises without your consent, carrying the full weight of the question that’s been gnawing at you for days. “I mean, I don’t know, Joel, but I feel like this is probably a good thing?”

His hand flexes at his side, and when he turns to you, his face is flushed, his pupils blown wide with something fierce and electric. “I don’t know what the fuck this means!” His voice erupts, louder than you’ve ever heard it, cracking like thunder. “You got bit, I saw it—”

“Yeah, Joel, I know! I was there. I saw it too, I definitely fucking felt it!” Your words cut through his, your tone rising to match his.

His jaw works as he clenches his teeth, a vein in his temple pulsing. “Maybe you’re still gonna turn,” he spits. “Maybe it’s just taking longer for some goddamn reason.”

You cock an eyebrow at him, disbelief spreading across your face like wildfire. “You still think I’m gonna turn?” you demand. “Is that why you untied me? Is that why you stitched me up? Why you didn’t already ditch me when you had the chance?”

“No, I—Jesus Christ,” Joel cuts himself off with a shaky hand dragging through his hair. His eyes flick to yours for a moment before he turns away, pacing a few steps ahead before sinking into a crouch. His hands come up to his face, his elbows propped on his knees. “I don’t fucking know, okay? I don’t know!” His voice cracks on the last word, raw and broken.

You’re shaking now, anger and something else—humiliation, or maybe heartbreak—setting your whole body alight. 

“Well, then maybe I should just fucking go,” you spit, words tumbling out fast and furious. “Since I’m such a threat to your safety and all, right? I’ll do us both a favor and head out right now. Just let me know which direction you’re going, and I’ll go the opposite way.”

Your sweaty hands reach for your pack, slumped next to his, your fingers trembling as you grasp the straps. You tug it upright with more force than necessary, your entire body thrumming with adrenaline and fury.

But underneath all of it, underneath the heat of your anger and the sharp edge of your words, is the ache of something deeper. An ache for the trust you’ve lost, the connection you once had, for the man who now looks at you like you’re something dangerous. Something he can’t figure out how to protect himself from.

For the past year, you had worked your way past Joel’s defenses, brick by brick. Every witty jab and corny joke had earned you an eye roll that softened into a begrudging chuckle. Every time you stood your ground against a raider or infected, you felt his respect for you grow, a silent acknowledgment that glimmered in his rare, approving nods. You saw it in the quiet way he handed you the better half of his ration, in the steady gaze he kept on you during fireside silences, in the reluctant, piecemeal stories he shared about his life before. All of it had unraveled like thread from a tightly wound spool.

Joel didn’t need to tell you it was never like this with anyone else. You knew it. Somewhere between Boston and Montana, between near-death escapes and hard-won victories, you’d wormed your way into a part of Joel’s life no one had touched in decades. He may not have said it, but you could see it in the way his walls bent around you, cracked just enough to let you see inside.

But while you’d been busy working your way into the maximum-security prison that was Joel Miller, you’d left your own gates wide open. As much as you wanted to believe you’d been as guarded, as calculated as he was, the truth was he hadn’t even needed to try.

And now? Now he stood before you with a book of matches, lighting them one by one and tossing them onto the floor of your sanctuary. Watching it burn.

Stupid girl. 

You’d survived two decades of this apocalypse, outlived everyone you’d ever cared for, walked through hell with blood and ash on your hands, and this, this man, was what brought you to your knees? You’d been so busy protecting your body and your mind that you’d forgotten to protect your heart. Hell, you weren’t even sure the damn thing still existed, and what a cruel way to find out it did.

What’s worse is that Joel hadn’t even knocked. That night when he lay beside you, when his warmth pressed against yours and stirred long-dormant butterflies in your stomach, he’d walked right in.

But then death had come for you. You’d been nose-to-nose with it, the felt its claws sink into your flesh, and that door to your heart had been flung wide open in your desperation. Any pretense of a defense you’d had left was gone. You’d flicked the lights on, drawn back the curtains, and beckoned him inside. Hung up a damn welcome banner. And Joel had taken one long look around, shut the door, and walked away.

You feel the anger bubble over, molten and bitter. You fling the pack over your shoulder, wincing as the weight pulls at your freshly stitched wound. A sharp gasp escapes your lips, but you bite it back, determined not to show him any more weakness.

You don’t bother to look at him. Don’t wait for a retort, an apology, or even the gruff indifference that had become his default. You don’t even know where you’re going, not really. All you know is that you need to get out of that cabin, away from the suffocating air between you, away from the man who’d found your heart, turned it over in his calloused hands, and decided it wasn’t worth keeping.

You’ve barely made it fifty feet from the cabin when Joel’s voice cuts through the trees.

“Stop. Dammit, just stop!”

The sharpness of his tone freezes you in your tracks despite every instinct screaming at you to keep moving. You turn halfway, your pack slung over your shoulder, glaring at him through the dim light.

“What does it matter, Joel?” you snap, your voice brittle. “I can take care of myself.”

“You can barely stand upright,” he counters, striding toward you with that same no-nonsense energy that makes you want to throw something at him. “And you’ve got a dozen stitches I just put in your side to prove it. So, no—you’re not taking care of yourself.”

Your jaw tightens, anger flaring hot and fast in your chest. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were suddenly so concerned about me.”

“Concerned?” Joel barks a humorless laugh, stopping just a couple of feet from you. “This isn’t about concern. This is about common goddamn sense. You walk out there on your own in your state, and you’ll be dead by sunrise. Then what was the point of me draggin’ your ass through the woods for the past three days?”

His words sting badly, hitting every raw nerve he can find. “What do you care if I live or die, Joel? You’ve made it pretty clear I’m just a liability to you now.”

Joel’s eyes narrow, his face hardening. “You’re right, I don’t want to drag your ass out of a ditch when you pass out from blood loss. Or come across your body torn to shreds because you decided to wander off like some stubborn damn fool. How fuckin’ dare I, right?”

You feel the heat of tears burning at the back of your eyes, but you refuse to let them fall. “So that’s it? You just don’t want to deal with your own guilty conscience?”

He exhales sharply, his frustration simmering just under the surface. “I’m sayin’, get your ass back in that cabin and rest up. We’ve got miles to cover tomorrow, and I’m not waitin’ around for you to heal if you tear those stitches open.”

You stare at him, your chest heaving, a thousand biting retorts on the tip of your tongue. But there’s something in the way he looks at you, something almost imperceptible beneath his rough exterior, that gives you pause. He’s angry, sure, but there’s something else, something unsaid.

“You’re a real piece of work, you know that?” you mutter, your voice trembling as you hoist your pack higher on your shoulder.

“And you’re wastin’ time arguin’ with me,” he shoots back, jerking his head toward the cabin.

You don’t want to go back. Every fiber of your being screams at you to keep walking, to prove to him—and yourself—that you can survive on your own. But your legs ache, and your stitches throb, and deep down you know he’s right.

“Fine,” you bite out, brushing past him with a shoulder bump that barely registers against his solid frame.

He follows close behind, silent except for the crunch of his boots on the forest floor. When you reach the cabin, you toss your pack to the floor and drop onto your sleeping bag without a word. Joel moves to his own spot by the door, setting his rifle within reach and sitting down with his back against the wall.

The silence that settles between you is suffocating, thick with all the words neither of you will say. You turn on your side, facing the wall, and close your eyes.

You’re not sure if it’s exhaustion or anger that eventually pulls you into a restless sleep, but as you drift off, you can’t help but wonder if Joel really meant it when he said this wasn’t about concern.

[gunilslaugh]

hihi! was wondering if I could request dyeing Junhan’s hair at like idk 3 AM 🙂‍↕️😸

Hello Hello! I hope that you like this!

Han Hyeongjun Summary: Dying Hyeongjun’s hair at 3am when you two should be sleeping. (idol au) WC:640 Warning:none

photo not mine credits to owner.

Browsing the hair dye section at 2:45 am definitely wasn’t what either Hyeongjun or you had planned, but sometimes it was fun to make spontaneous and maybe a little questionable decisions. 

“Won’t the company be mad at you dying your hair without permission though?��� you asked with a hint of concern as you inspected a box of dye. 

“I might get scolded a bit, but they’re pretty open about letting us try out hair that we want,” he answered, picking up a box of sapphire black hair dye. 

“Ooh that would look good on you,” you say, taking the box from his hand. “The blue in it will help make the black not look flat and it matches your skin tone well,” you add, holding the box up to his face. 

“I didn’t know you knew so much about hair,” he said with a slight chuckle. 

“I’m no cosmetologist, but I do know a few things,” you shrug. “Do you like this color? Should we get it?” you questioned. 

“Yeah I like it and I trust your opinion,” he smiled. 

“Great , let’s get it,” you smile back at him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Currently you're both in the bathroom of your apartment. Changed into clothes that you guys don’t care about. Your hand gloved up, but you can still feel the coolness of the dye seep through them. Hyeongjun is seated on the edge of the tub as you apply the dye to his head. His eyes are closed, enjoying the feeling of your hands working the dye into his roots. 

“Ah,” you let out, suddenly removing your hands from his hair.

“Are you ok?” Hyeongjun checked, eyes shooting open. 

“Yeah I’m fine, it’s just…” you sniff, scrunching your nose. “My nose itches and I can’t-” you sniff again, shaking your head a little. “Scratch it.” Hyeongjun let’s a relieved breath and a slight laugh. 

“Come here,” he says gently. You crouch down in front of him. He lifts his hand to scratch your nose. “Here?” he asked. 

“Up a little bit.” He moved his hand up. “No wait down-ah right there.” Hyeongjun’s nails satisfy the itch on your nose. “Thanks,” you say standing back up. Your hands resume massaging the dye into his hair. Hyeonjun’s eyes fell closed once more. 

“Now we wait,” you announce, removing the gloves from your hands. After you made sure that his hair was thoroughly covered with the dye.

You set a timer for thirty minutes and Hyeonjun pulls up a playlist for you two to listen to while waiting for the dye to sit in his hair. 

Once the timer rings you turn on the water in the shower, adjusting the temperature and begin to carefully rinse the color from Hyeonjun’s hair, watching as the stained water disappears down the drain. 

“There all done,” you state, setting the towel you were using to dry his hair to the side. The pair of you walked over to the bathroom mirror so that Hyeonjun could see the finished result. “What do you think?” you asked. 

“I like it. You did a good job and you're right I think it suits me,” he replies. 

“It totally does. Villains are gonna freak out,” you say playfully, making Hyeongjun laugh. “Come on, let's take some pictures,” you insist. After snapping some pictures you send them to Hyeongjun, so that he can upload them. 

By the time you're finished cleaning up the sun is starting to peek out from the horizon. You and Hyeongjun can definitely feel the drowsiness starting to kick in. The two of you make yourselves comfortable under the covers of your bed. Knowing that you’ll have to be up in a few hours, but neither of you really care as you wrap your arms around each other whispering out ironic goodnights to each other as the sun rises.

taglist: @purplelady85 @gingerjunhan @chewednails @ezlynkisses @mon2sunjinsuver @mxlly143 @seungseung-minmin @junhanism

comment or message me to be added!

[rylem33]

A Good Person -- Ending #2: Reality Rewrite to a Bitchy Girlfriend

I asked you all for ideas on endings to my story "A Good Person" and you came through. Here's the the second one, requested by @shift-change. "Maggie's alterations becoming her new reality, with ripple effects flooding backwards, altering her memories, and Scott's memories too, so that they both remember her getting the nails, and the lip injections, having the bigger breasts, and blonde hair, and also remembering being the kind of person who would have wanted to be like this. It could affect her personality, making her more vain, more selfish, more materialistic, with a shorter fuse. Maybe even tailoring the particular personality changes to specifically fit her "bad" slip-ups from earlier in the story (e.g. road rage -> crass and vulgar; lying to boss -> dishonest and catty; judging the couple -> bitchy and judgy; skipping work -> lazy and entitled). It could also affect her and Scott's dynamic as well. She with her altered personality would be a very different wife (or even girlfriend if you want to make her not the kind of person to get too tied down), and Scott is put off by her changes, but too enraptured by her to leave. the Devil and she becomes a succubus." Here's a link to the original story in case you need it: https://www.tumblr.com/rylem33/773678228559872000/a-good-person?source=share

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Scott’s fists clenched, his voice trembling with desperation. “What do you mean, collect?”

The man tilted his head, his smile widening with faint amusement. “Oh, Scott. It’s quite simple. Maggie made her choices, and choices have consequences.”

Before Scott could respond, the air around Maggie shimmered. She gasped, her hands flying to her chest as a ripple of heat coursed through her body.

“No!” she cried out, stumbling backward. “What’s happening to me?”

The Devil chuckled, stepping closer. “Not just you, Maggie. The reality you’ve created with your actions is rewriting itself. A new you. A new life. Perfectly tailored to the person you’ve been this past week.”

The room trembled as invisible waves of energy radiated outward from Maggie, distorting the air like ripples in a pond. Scott staggered, clutching his head as his vision blurred. Memories crashed into his mind, layering over the life he thought he’d known.

When the sensation faded, Scott opened his eyes. Maggie stood before him, but she was completely different.

Her hair was a sleek, platinum blonde, cascading perfectly down her back, and he suddenly remembered her excitement the day she came home from the salon. Her smile had been wide, her eyes gleaming as she’d run her manicured fingers through her freshly dyed locks, tossing her head back with a confidence that felt foreign and magnetic all at once.

“Do you love it, babe?” she’d asked that day, posing dramatically in the mirror. “I have to look perfect if I’m going to turn heads.”

Scott stumbled back, his breath catching in his throat as more memories flooded in. He remembered Maggie’s complaints about her body, her obsession with achieving the “perfect” figure. He recalled the hours she’d spent researching surgeons, the arguments about the cost of breast implants, and the way she’d dismissed his concerns.

“This is about me, Scott,” she’d said sharply. “You just don’t get it. Women have to look good to get ahead. You’ll thank me when I look amazing in everything I wear.”

He could still hear her delighted laughter after the procedure, the way she’d flaunted her new curves in front of the mirror, running her hands over herself with pride. “I told you this would be worth it,” she’d said with a wink.

Scott’s heart pounded as he took in her crimson nails, long and glossy. Another memory hit him of Maggie dragging him to the nail salon every two weeks, insisting on the most expensive designs. “You don’t want me walking around with chipped nails, do you?” she’d said teasingly, holding up her hands for him to admire. “This is part of the whole package.”

His mind reeled as the ripples continued to rewrite their past. He remembered the lip fillers, the complaints about how her natural lips weren’t “voluminous enough.” The painful sessions she’d insisted on enduring to get them just right, and the endless stream of selfies she’d posted afterward.

He saw the countless shopping trips, the designer dresses, the sky-high heels, and her obsession with curating her appearance for maximum impact. Every memory painted a picture of a woman who was vain, self-absorbed, and relentlessly focused on her looks.And yet, despite all of it, he remembered telling himself he loved her. He had to love her.

“Maggie…” Scott whispered, his voice shaking as he took her in.

But she wasn’t paying attention. She was scrolling through her phone, her manicured crimson nails clicking against the screen as she smirked.

Another ripple hit, and Scott’s memories twisted again.

He no longer remembered Maggie as his loving, caring wife who worked tirelessly for their future. Now, she was the Maggie who always wanted to be the center of attention, the Maggie who pouted until she got her way, the Maggie who loved flaunting herself for the stares and admiration of others.

He remembered their arguments about money, not because they didn’t have enough, but because she demanded more for designer clothes and expensive nights out.

Maggie looked up from her phone, her lips curling into a smirk as she caught him staring.

“What?” she asked, her voice sharp, almost dismissive. “You’re acting weird, Scott.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder and crossed her arms, her body language oozing entitlement.

Scott struggled to speak, his mind wrestling with the fragmented memories. “Maggie… you’re… different.”

She rolled her eyes dramatically. “Ugh, you’re always so boring. Honestly, Scott, why don’t you loosen up for once?” Her tone was dripping with condescension.

Another ripple hit, and Scott’s chest tightened as more memories shifted.

He saw her snapping at waiters when her food wasn’t perfect. He remembered her yelling at drivers on the road, flipping them off while laughing. He remembered her lying to her coworkers to avoid blame, brushing it off as “survival of the fittest.”

Now, all of those traits fit perfectly into the woman standing before him.

Scott’s head spun as he tried to reconcile the memories with the woman he loved. He stepped closer, reaching out to her. “Maggie, I don’t…”

She slapped his hand away with a laugh, her expression both playful and cruel. “Ugh, don’t be clingy,” she said, rolling her eyes again. “It’s such a turnoff.”

His heart broke at her words, but he couldn’t look away. She was stunning, but she wasn’t his Maggie anymore.

“You’re lucky, you know,” she said, picking up her purse and slinging it over her shoulder. “Most guys would kill to have someone like me on their arm.”

Scott’s jaw clenched. “Maggie, we’re supposed to be partners. We’re supposed to love each other.”

She laughed, loud and dismissive. “Love? That’s cute, God, you’re such a loser.”

Her words cut like a knife, but he couldn’t tear himself away. Another ripple hit, and Scott’s feelings shifted. His heartbreak mingled with a desperate need to please her, to keep her happy, no matter the cost.

Scott’s knees felt weak as he sat back on the couch, watching her adjust her dress in the mirror.

The Devil stood silently in the corner, watching the scene unfold with a satisfied grin.

“This is what she chose,” he said softly, his voice dripping with amusement. “And this… is what you’ll live with.”

Maggie turned back to Scott, pouting as she inspected her nails. “Well, are you going to get up and take me out, or are you just going to sit there?” she snapped, her tone impatient.

Scott blinked, his heart breaking all over again. “Maggie… where would you even want to go?”

She rolled her eyes. “Somewhere expensive, obviously.” She grabbed her phone, snapping a quick selfie before tossing her hair over her shoulder.

“Let’s go,” she said, striding toward the door without waiting for him.

Scott hesitated, glancing back at the Devil. “Why are you doing this to us?”

The Devil’s smile widened, his sharp teeth glinting. “A deal is a deal, Scott. She’s perfectly tailored to the choices she made. The real question is… what are you going to do about it?”

Scott’s turned back to Maggie. She stood by the door, scrolling through her phone with one hand while adjusting her purse with the other. She didn’t even look at him.

“Well?” she snapped, finally glancing over her shoulder. “Are you coming, or do I have to find someone else who knows how to treat me right?”

Her words were a dagger to his heart, but the thought of losing her terrified him even more.

“I’m coming,” he said quickly, his voice small and desperate.

She smirked, turning back to the door. “That’s what I thought.”

Scott followed her, his shoulders slumped. He hated what she had become, but he couldn’t bring himself to fight her. She was intoxicating, and his love for her, twisted as it was now, kept him tethered to her.

As they stepped outside, Maggie didn’t wait for him. She strode confidently toward the car, her heels clicking against the pavement, her head held high.

Scott hurried to catch up, reaching for the car door to open it for her.

She slid into the passenger seat without so much as a thank-you, immediately pulling out her phone again. “Drive me to that new rooftop bar downtown,” she said, her tone commanding. “And don’t embarrass me this time.”

Scott nodded silently, starting the car. His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as he drove, her laughter and selfies filling the quiet between them.

The Devil’s words echoed in his mind. What are you going to do about it?

Scott glanced at her in the rearview mirror, she posed for another photo, oblivious to his feelings.

And yet, he couldn’t stop himself. He would do whatever she wanted, anything to stay by her side, even if she barely noticed him.

[moon-ttokki-x]

yang jeongin - skz fluff headcanons

pairing: yang jeongin x reader

summary: innie headcanons

genre: fluff, idol! au, comfort, general fluff headcanons, maknae shenanigans

a/n: i haven't written stuff in a while tbh but anyways. thank you for 200 everyone !!

skz masterlist

so

you're dating jeongin

congratulations

he's a little shit

when you first start being together he'll be kind of quiet and shy

which is cute

he'll be doing things like opening the door for you or cooking for you

just that partner lovey dovey stuff you know

but wait til both of you get closer

the relationship will just descend into chaos

and if you were friends with him before you started dating

that chaos will be even worse

jeongin is the type of guy to purposely annoy you and take it a step further because you're so close with him

he'll steal your charger for his phone even if yours is half dead

and then he'll keep it until you have to use it

which results in the rest of the skz members getting used to texting you through jeongin's phone

because you have to literally beg him to give your charger back

all that nice guy stuff just evaporates as soon as he feels comfortable around you

like if you have to go through a door

innie will go first and then slam the door shut so you have to stop and open it again

which has resulted in several injuries

once you went to his dance practice and walked back to his dorm together

and he went through a door and slammed it

because he's a little shit

and you weren't feeling your sharpest that day so you walked right into it

as the door was closing too

chan, who wasn't far behind, had to literally carry you into the dorm because you were so dazed

all in all, jeongin learned to not do that anymore

also because he got scolded by leader hyung and chan is scary when he's mad

sometimes he feels like doing it to you but he doesn't because he doesn't want to hurt you

anyway

we all know that skinship isn't exactly innie's thing

unless he's super comfortable with the person giving it to him

i feel like he would be the type to just do little tiny acts of affection

maybe like resting his head on your lap while you work or on your shoulder when you're busy

or holding your pinky instead of your whole hand

i think he would be the type to accept physical affection from you because it's his partner, you know

but i don't think he'd be into giving it much

jeongin isn't the type to like full blown cuddling and spooning and all that stuff

he likes soft, purposeful affection in small doses

and when he's had a bad day or he's not in a good mood or something happened, he will be asking for affection

obviously not verbally because our maknae is too cool for that

but he might lightly tug at your hand til you sit down with him or nuzzle his head into your side if you're lying down

please he's literally a fox

protect him at all costs :(

i also feel like innie is the type to be quite impulsive sometimes

like it'll be a random tuesday afternoon when you walk into the bathroom and he's standing over the sink, cutting all his hair off

"JEONGIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING"

"i wanna look like hyunjin hyung :("

either that or he's dying it

or drawing all over himself

or eating things he shouldn't

you've seen him try to bite the corner off a brick wall and jisung swears up and down that innie has eaten deodorant

there's a reason why you keep yours in a drawer now

just in case

anyway

we know innie is also our fashion king

definitely the type to like little items like matching rings or phone cases

he tries to persuade you into matching weird shoes but that's too far for you right now

so he settles for other matching things like hoodies

and necklaces!!!

lots of matching necklaces!!

jeongin will never admit it but he likes having a piece of you close to his heart

whether that's in the form of a pendant or otherwise

aww

you guys also have those matching magnetic socks

you know those ones

with the little faces and the magnetic hands that connect when you sit next to the person who's wearing the other pair

yeah those

google it if you don't know

innie loves those and more than once has managed to persuade you into wearing them at award shows and other work events

hidden under your dress of course

and his hidden under his suit

like chan and hyunjin, he also beefs with the stylists about not taking off the matching jewelry you guys have

the stylists literally have to hold him down to take it off him because it just doesn't match

but he always puts it back on afterwards anyway

because he's maknae on top and nobody tells him what to do >:(

they've given up at this point

but they understand that he loves you and wants to keep you close

at skz concerts where they can throw water, innie will always look directly into the crowd for you

then he'll give you a cute smile before drenching you in a sacrilegious amount of water

you've learnt to bring towels and an umbrella to concerts now

jeongin also manages to rope seungmin and minho into it too

so wherever you go, be warned because one of them is always waiting to just dump water over your head

you could always tell chan about it but you let them have their fun

for now anyways

after concerts, you and jeongin always go back to the dorm or the hotel if skz is on tour at that time

and you'll wash all the night air and now-cold water out of each other's hair

if you're nice innie will let you dry his hair

but you're not allowed to style it

that's law

sometimes you get annoyed with how much water innie throws at you during concerts

you stopped being annoyed when felix secretly told you that jeongin drenches you at concerts on purpose so both of you can spend more time afterwards cleaning up together and drying off in each other's company

which is cute

all in all, innie is a mischievous little shit but he loves you

so so much

even if he doesn't go about showing his love conventionally

he makes sure that you never doubt he loves you

so

you're dating jeongin

congratulations

he's a little shit

when you first start being together he'll be kind of quiet and shy

which is cute

he'll be doing things like opening the door for you or cooking for you

just that partner lovey dovey stuff you know

but wait til both of you get closer

the relationship will just descend into chaos

and if you were friends with him before you started dating

that chaos will be even worse

jeongin is the type of guy to purposely annoy you and take it a step further because you're so close with him

he'll steal your charger for his phone even if yours is half dead

and then he'll keep it until you have to use it

which results in the rest of the skz members getting used to texting you through jeongin's phone

because you have to literally beg him to give your charger back

all that nice guy stuff just evaporates as soon as he feels comfortable around you

like if you have to go through a door

innie will go first and then slam the door shut so you have to stop and open it again

which has resulted in several injuries

once you went to his dance practice and walked back to his dorm together

and he went through a door and slammed it

because he's a little shit

and you weren't feeling your sharpest that day so you walked right into it

as the door was closing too

chan, who wasn't far behind, had to literally carry you into the dorm because you were so dazed

all in all, jeongin learned to not do that anymore

also because he got scolded by leader hyung and chan is scary when he's mad

sometimes he feels like doing it to you but he doesn't because he doesn't want to hurt you

anyway

we all know that skinship isn't exactly innie's thing

unless he's super comfortable with the person giving it to him

i feel like he would be the type to just do little tiny acts of affection

maybe like resting his head on your lap while you work or on your shoulder when you're busy

or holding your pinky instead of your whole hand

i think he would be the type to accept physical affection from you because it's his partner, you know

but i don't think he'd be into giving it much

jeongin isn't the type to like full blown cuddling and spooning and all that stuff

he likes soft, purposeful affection in small doses

and when he's had a bad day or he's not in a good mood or something happened, he will be asking for affection

obviously not verbally because our maknae is too cool for that

but he might lightly tug at your hand til you sit down with him or nuzzle his head into your side if you're lying down

please he's literally a fox

protect him at all costs :(

i also feel like innie is the type to be quite impulsive sometimes

like it'll be a random tuesday afternoon when you walk into the bathroom and he's standing over the sink, cutting all his hair off

"JEONGIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING"

"i wanna look like hyunjin hyung :("

either that or he's dying it

or drawing all over himself

or eating things he shouldn't

you've seen him try to bite the corner off a brick wall and jisung swears up and down that innie has eaten deodorant

there's a reason why you keep yours in a drawer now

just in case

anyway

we know innie is also our fashion king

definitely the type to like little items like matching rings or phone cases

he tries to persuade you into matching weird shoes but that's too far for you right now

so he settles for other matching things like hoodies

and necklaces!!!

lots of matching necklaces!!

jeongin will never admit it but he likes having a piece of you close to his heart

whether that's in the form of a pendant or otherwise

aww

you guys also have those matching magnetic socks

you know those ones

with the little faces and the magnetic hands that connect when you sit next to the person who's wearing the other pair

yeah those

google it if you don't know

innie loves those and more than once has managed to persuade you into wearing them at award shows and other work events

hidden under your dress of course

and his hidden under his suit

like chan and hyunjin, he also beefs with the stylists about not taking off the matching jewelry you guys have

the stylists literally have to hold him down to take it off him because it just doesn't match

but he always puts it back on afterwards anyway

because he's maknae on top and nobody tells him what to do >:(

they've given up at this point

but they understand that he loves you and wants to keep you close

at skz concerts where they can throw water, innie will always look directly into the crowd for you

then he'll give you a cute smile before drenching you in a sacrilegious amount of water

you've learnt to bring towels and an umbrella to concerts now

jeongin also manages to rope seungmin and minho into it too

so wherever you go, be warned because one of them is always waiting to just dump water over your head

you could always tell chan about it but you let them have their fun

for now anyways

after concerts, you and jeongin always go back to the dorm or the hotel if skz is on tour at that time

and you'll wash all the night air and now-cold water out of each other's hair

if you're nice innie will let you dry his hair

but you're not allowed to style it

that's law

sometimes you get annoyed with how much water innie throws at you during concerts

you stopped being annoyed when felix secretly told you that jeongin drenches you at concerts on purpose so both of you can spend more time afterwards cleaning up together and drying off in each other's company

which is cute

all in all, innie is a mischievous little shit but he loves you

so so much

even if he doesn't go about showing his love conventionally

he makes sure that you never doubt he loves you

a/n: divider by @cafekitsune

[narwhalandchill]

not a comment on a r/fatuiHQ meme of all things making me finally notice that childe activating FL all the way back in the golden house cutscene actually summons those black hole/collapsing star imagery things (looking Exactly like the narwhal boss drop at a specific frame too) behind him if u look at it closely at the right frame😭😭😭

(peak subreddit btw.)

i mean its not Completely new for a motif his teleporting in the 4.2 opera cutscene is a much more clear example of the same exact visual effect but. Dang i never slowed the 1.1 cutscene down enough to see it for myself there before

what a cool detail and reccurring motif there! now let me lose my mind and credibility for a bit Thanks

(actual nonsense warning lmao its just cool black hole sfx but gone downhill)

(a Completely unrelated compilation here Surely. yes the narwhals spout attack thingy is less Obviously the same visual but its a pretty picture of my beloved. sue me. also its close enough 2 me)

anyway isnt it Curious how all these effects are ummmm black holes. like there are stars visibly collapsing here uwu. and black holes are. Collapsed dead stars. wouldnt it be funny if the narwhal boss drop archive entry somehow directly implies that the eye of maelstrom (a black hole) could simply be the echo of its prey. Which are. Yaknow. sometimes stars. for a cosmic whale. so an echo of its prey is an echo of a dead star. crazy ik. if anything like that existed i mean

oh JEEPERS. next thing youll tell me stars are archons forbid often used as a sort of allegory and very prevalent reference to some sort of an important category of people. like a descender or something. crazy ik (2: Electric boogaloo)

WHAT!!!! (and like 4 billion other examples i couldnt bother to gather and sc sorry)

and like. sure sure lets not get too crazy we need to remember skirks usage of this same power as well thats a good point. i should remain skeptical of my own insanity thats very true. we all get a sticker for responsible behavior UwU

so she indeed turned the narwhal into a black hole there yes. She Did That. so maybe its just the power from beyond thing. its void power its quantum but genshin. the black hole/collapsing star stuff is all surtalogis power okay lets consider that for arguments sake. well i guess that means its just surtalogis brand of transcendent abyss power and not about black holes slash dead stars that may or may not be dead descenders. thats fine

Whew i guess thats it then we solved it guys. okay i can accept that. its abyss power because surtalogi things and childe and the narwhal displaying it is all because of surtalogis plots and teachings and powers. something like that

and even if that may be a bit anticlimactic of a conclusion for a narwhalpilled truther like myself (with a penchant towards Theres Some Descender Shit Going On With Ajax antics as well) at the very least its good that there isnt any datamined book series in which some particularly pygmy-esque individuals Strangely fitting of our current descriptions and knowledge of of dain + the sinners band together to merk some guy from beyond teyvat with special powers that may or may not be the irminsul-proofed historical account of a particular descenders death so nothing like THAT can throw a wrench into our very confirmed conclusion of surtalogis power and by extension childe and maybe even the narwhals black hole motifs just being basic abyss element power that has absolutely Nothing to do with any descenders or... dead stars? yeah its a good thing nothing like that exists .

OH SH----

[rafestify]

need a rafe fic please where reader is part of the pogues, her and rafe have been on and off for forever obviously due to everything he’s done but deep down he’s so down bad for reader and maybe she’s pregnant instead of sarah and he doesn’t find out until morocco because the pogues are hovering over her idk angst fluff whatever you feel!!!

Two lines — Rafe Cameron

Summary : Fem!Reader is pregnant with Rafe’s baby, but he doesn't know until pope accidentally mentions her baby (season 4 ep 10 spoilers!! ⚠️)

Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader

Warnings : mentions of vomiting & language (english is not my first language)

A/N : as requested 😉 hope u like it anon!

Two lines, and the father was long gone, off doing god knows what. Rafe was the last guy I'd hooked up with, and even after we broke up, we somehow kept finding our way back to each other, especially after the Kildare Enduro. He knew no one else could satisfy me the way he did, and so it became this endless cycle, break up, hook up, make up. What Rafe didn’t know was that I was pregnant. I hadn’t planned on telling him, at least not until we made up.

There I was, back on Rafe’s boat with my friends, setting off to Morocco in search of the Blue Crown and Chandler Groff. My friends had locked Rafe up, tying him up in a small room, just in case. We all knew better than to trust Rafe Cameron, not after everything he’d done.

I walked into the dimly lit room, carrying a tray with a glass of water, a plate of food, and a couple of aspirin for his black eye. The sight of him, bruised, tugged at something deep inside me.

“Here,” I murmured, setting the tray down on the table beside him. “I brought some aspirin, just in case you’re feeling dizzy or something…”

He snorted, cutting me off. “What? You’re just gonna throw it in my mouth like I’m a fuckin' seal?” He wasn’t exactly wrong, but his sharp tone made me bristle. “Nobody trusts you, Rafe,” I replied, my voice steady. “Not after what you did.”

His jaw tightened, and a flash of anger sparked in his eyes. “I saved your asses!” he shot back, his face flushing with frustration. “And not even a thank you was said.”

I took a slow breath, steadying myself. “I know, Rafe. I know,” I said softly. “Thank you, really.” I offered him a small, sincere smile.

He looked at me for a moment, his gaze softening just slightly. “You trust me, right?” he asked, his voice quieter, a bit more vulnerable. I bit down on my lip, feeling the pull he always seemed to have on me.

“Yeah,” I admitted, almost reluctantly. God, he knew exactly how to get to me.

He looked at the ropes binding his wrists and nodded toward them. “Then untie me. Get this shit off me.”

I shook my head, feeling a pang of guilt but holding my ground. “I can’t. I’m sorry.” I pressed my lips together, trying to keep my resolve. “Just… eat the food. We wouldn’t want you dying in here.” With that, I turned and walked out, the door closing softly behind me, leaving me with a sigh that I didn’t even realize I’d been holding back.

As I stepped out of the room, I was met by Kiara’s anxious expression, her arms folded tightly as she waited. The moment she saw me, her face softened slightly, though worry still flickered in her eyes.

"How’d it go?" she asked quietly, as if afraid to hear the answer.

I shrugged, trying to mask the mixture of emotions stirring inside me. "Same old Rafe," I replied, keeping my tone light, but my gaze drifted, unable to meet hers directly.

Kiara studied me for a moment before speaking again. "Soo... did you tell him?"

I frowned, genuinely puzzled. "Tell him what?"

She raised an eyebrow, giving me a pointed look. "That you’re pregnant, with his child."

Oh, right. That one.

I swallowed, feeling a sudden knot in my stomach. "Uh—no, not yet," I admitted, my voice barely a whisper. "I just… I don’t know how he’d react." My hands found each other, my fingers nervously fidgeting as I tried to imagine how that conversation would even go. "What if he doesn’t want to keep the baby?"

Kiara sighed softly and reached out, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. Her warmth grounded me, pulling me back from my spiraling thoughts. "Look," she said firmly, her gaze locking onto mine. "You have us. We’ll help you through every single part of this. That’s what friends are for, right?"

I looked at her, the tension in my chest easing slightly. Her words held a strength that I so desperately needed. "Yeah," I whispered, a small smile breaking through my worry. "Thank you, Kie."

She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a hug, and for a moment, the uncertainty and fear faded. In her embrace, I felt a flicker of hope—a reminder that I wouldn’t have to face this alone.

After battling fierce winds and waves, we finally arrived in Essaouira. The coastal city spread before us, its whitewashed buildings with blue shutters gleaming under softened storm light. Narrow streets twisted through the medina, lined with shops selling handmade crafts and drenched in a timeless, rustic charm.

The Atlantic crashed against the ancient medina walls, sturdy and weathered, while blue fishing boats bobbed in the harbor—just like the skiffs in the Outer Banks. The salty air and easy warmth of the locals, the slow rhythm of the sea, and the hum of daily life brought back memories of home, as if Essaouira was a Moroccan echo of the Outer Banks.

We continued to wander through the narrow streets of Essaouira, the sound of bustling market vendors and the distant call of seagulls filling the air. John B and Sarah led the way, their steps light and carefree, like they had no care in the world. Following behind them was Cleo, Pope, and Kiara, their conversations flowing easily as they walked, with JJ and I bringing up the rear. But it was Rafe who trailed behind, his presence almost ghostlike, like a lost puppy, following silently in our wake.

As we strolled through the maze of alleyways, I felt a sudden, sharp wave of nausea hit me. It was sudden, and intense, as if something in my stomach was threatening to rise up. I let out a soft huff, pressing my hand to my stomach, trying to hold back the overwhelming feeling of sickness.

JJ, who had been walking beside me, must've noticed the change in my posture because he looked at me with concern. "Y/N?" he called, his voice laced with worry.

"Oh god," I muttered under my breath, the nausea worsening, my head spinning.

"What's wrong? You okay?" JJ asked, his voice low, concern evident on his face.

I shook my head, barely able to focus on him. "No... I need to sit," I said, my voice strained. I felt like I was going to collapse if I didn’t stop moving.

JJ quickly guided me to a pile of carpets that were stacked outside a shop. The soft fabric felt like a relief under me as I sat down, trying to steady my breathing. The rest of the group quickly noticed, and soon I was surrounded by their concerned faces. Kiara dropped to her knees in front of me, her eyes searching mine, her hand resting on my knee in a comforting gesture.

"What's up? What are you feeling?" she asked, her voice soft and filled with genuine concern.

"I'm really nauseous," I managed to answer, my hand covering my mouth, just in case. I didn’t trust myself to hold it down any longer.

Cleo, who had been standing off to the side, stepped forward, her arms crossed over her chest. "She probably needs food. It’s been like two days..or what?" she said, her voice tinged with practicality.

"Yeah, the baby’s probably hungry too," Pope added, offering a casual shrug, as if it was just an obvious conclusion.

I froze, my stomach twisting. The mention of "the baby" caught me off guard, and suddenly, all eyes turned to me. Rafe, who had been hanging back, still distant, looked like he was suddenly paying attention. His gaze shifted from me to Pope and then back to me, his brow furrowing.

"What baby?" Rafe asked, his voice sharp, as if something about the situation didn't sit right with him.

Oh god, here we go.

Pope went silent, and I could feel the tension rise in the air, thickening around us. I glanced up at Rafe, who was now standing a few feet away, looking at me with an expression that was hard to read. His eyes narrowed as if trying to make sense of what he had just heard.

"No, seriously, what baby?" he repeated, his voice insistent, even stern now.

I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the moment settle over me. There was no easy way to say it, but it had to be said. "I’m pregnant, Rafe," I said quietly, locking eyes with him. "With your baby."

The words hung in the air between us, like they were too heavy to carry. For a long moment, Rafe didn’t say anything. He just stood there, silent, his expression unreadable. The others were watching him closely, waiting for a reaction, but he remained eerily still.

I could feel the tension growing, an awkwardness settling in the space around us, as if everything had just shifted. My hands were shaking slightly, not from the nausea anymore, but from the weight of what had just been revealed. And Rafe, he was just staring at me, his mouth slightly parted but no words coming out.

"Go get her something to eat," Rafe suddenly snapped, his voice cutting through the tension that still hung thick in the air.

Without another word, he dug through his small waist bag, the leather creaking under his movements. I wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but then, with a small grunt of satisfaction, he pulled out a wad of cash—several bills, all stacked neatly together. As he unfolded them, I saw that he had about $400 in his hand, a small fortune for street vendors in Essaouira.

"Wait what?" JJ’s voice broke the moment of disbelief. He raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "They don’t take dollars, you idiot—"

"I said go," Rafe interrupted sharply, his tone hardening. There was no room for argument, no sign of hesitation in his voice. It was almost as if he was trying to regain some control over the situation, and in doing so, he completely dismissed JJ’s protests. His words were a command, not a suggestion.

The rest of us exchanged uneasy glances, the shift in Rafe’s demeanor catching everyone off guard. But without further discussion, John B, Sarah, Cleo, Pope, and Kiara reluctantly turned to start walking back toward the market, their steps unsure but obedient. JJ hesitated for a moment, clearly frustrated by Rafe’s abruptness, but eventually followed along as well.

Rafe’s eyes lingered on me for a second, his expression unreadable. He stood still for a moment longer, his gaze momentarily drifting over to the group before returning to me. He didn’t say anything else. His words had been clear, and I could tell that something about the situation had shifted for him.

"I don’t care whether you want the baby or not, but I’m keeping them," I said, the words tumbling out before I could stop them. My heart pounded in my chest, the weight of my decision pressing down on me. The truth was, I had made up my mind. I had to keep the baby, and nothing anyone said or did would change that. Not even Rafe.

Rafe’s eyes widened at my declaration, and for a moment, he just stood there, staring at me, his face unreadable. Then, he kneeled down, and he let out a sharp breath. "Hey, hey, hey—who said I don’t want to keep the baby?" His voice was calm, but there was an underlying tension to it, as if my words had hit a nerve.

I blinked, caught off guard by his response. The words seemed to hang in the air for a moment, and I wasn’t sure what to say next. His eyes were fixed on me now, intense, searching. It felt like something was shifting between us, and I couldn’t quite wrap my head around it.

"We’ll take care of them," Rafe continued, his tone softening just a fraction. "I’ll be with you throughout the whole journey, Y/N. You’re not doing this alone." His voice held a kind of resolve, as if he had already decided, as if he was offering something that felt almost too good to be true.

For a split second, it felt like the world around me had stopped moving. The noise from the market faded into the background, and all I could hear was the steady beat of my own heart. The words he said felt surreal, like they were echoing in my head. "I’ll be with you, 'aight?"

I blinked again, almost feeling like I was in a dream, like I had slipped into some alternate reality where everything suddenly made sense. But when I looked at Rafe, his gaze never wavering from mine, I felt a wave of disbelief wash over me. It felt like a nap dream, a momentary illusion that would disappear when I woke up.

"What?" I said, my voice coming out in a whisper of disbelief. "Sorry—"

Rafe seemed unbothered by my shock. He placed his hands on my knees, his movements deliberate. "You heard me, Y/N." His words were firm, and there was no mistaking the sincerity in them.

For a long moment, neither of us spoke. The air between us was thick with unspoken thoughts, and I could feel the weight of what he had just said settle in my chest. It was almost too much to process. I had always expected Rafe to pull away, to make this harder for me. But here he was, standing before me with something I hadn’t expected, a promise. A promise to be there. A promise to face this together.

My mind spun, trying to make sense of it. I glanced away for a moment, as if hoping the world would shift and reveal the truth. But when I looked back at him, his expression hadn’t changed. He was still looking at me with those steady, unwavering eyes.

"You’re serious," I murmured more to myself than to him.

Rafe didn’t flinch. "Yeah," he said simply, as if there was nothing more to discuss, as if the decision had already been made. "I’ll be there for you. For us."

For the first time, I didn’t know what to say. My heart was still racing, but for a different reason now. There was a part of me that wanted to believe him, to hold on to this moment, to trust that things might actually be okay. But there was also a part of me that was terrified of what this all meant, of how my life was about to change in ways I couldn’t predict.

I stared at him in utter disbelief, barely able to process the reality unfolding before me. It felt like some kind of miracle. My vision began to blur as tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, the emotions welling up and spilling over, probably caused by the pregnancy hormones, but I couldn’t stop them. I tried to blink them away, but they only gathered faster, until a warm tear rolled down my cheek.

Rafe’s expression softened when he noticed, his gaze never leaving mine. He reached out and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close in a way that felt so natural, so steady. He didn’t hesitate for a second, and his embrace was warm, reassuring, holding me together when I felt like I was on the edge of falling apart, and God, it felt good to be back in his arms.

His hand rubbed gentle circles on my back as he murmured, “We’re gonna be parents.” His voice was soft, filled with awe and disbelief, as if he was speaking the words for the first time and couldn’t quite believe them either.

I nodded against his chest, clutching onto him as tightly as I could. The weight of his words settled over us, the reality of what lay ahead, and as much as I wanted to be brave, I couldn’t shake the fear that started to consume my mind. I let out a shaky breath, my voice coming out in a whisper, “I’m scared, Rafe.” The words felt small, vulnerable, but they were the truth.

He pulled back just enough to look at me, his hands gently cupping my face as his thumbs brushed away the stray tears still slipping down my cheeks. “I know,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. “I am scared too.” There was a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes that mirrored my own, a glimmer of uncertainty about the unknown future that lay ahead.

“But we’re in this together,” he continued, his voice growing stronger, as if he was convincing himself as much as he was reassuring me. “I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t know what’s coming… but I’m not going anywhere.” He leaned down and rested his forehead against mine, closing the space between us. “I’ll be there every step of the way.”

His words washed over me, filling some hollow place I hadn’t realized was empty. In that moment, his presence felt like a lifeline, pulling me out of my fears, giving me a glimpse of something that felt almost like hope. The future was terrifying, yes, but it felt a little less daunting with him by my side.

I looked up at him, my voice steadying as I replied, “I’m glad it’s you.” And as I said the words, I realized just how much I meant them.

He offered me a small, crooked smile, a warmth in his eyes that I hadn’t seen before. “We’re gonna figure this out together,” he promised. “One step at a time.”

I nodded, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. And in that moment, held in his arms, I felt a little less afraid.

Suddenly, as if on cue, the rest of the group appeared, each carrying an assortment of food and drinks. It was almost comical, watching them return all at once, each of them holding something different, John B with a handful of pita bread, Cleo balancing a bowl of yogurt, JJ carrying bottled water, and Sarah clutching a small bag of fruit, including a shiny red apple that she immediately extended toward me.

“Here,” Sarah said softly, her face easing with relief as she offered the apple. I took it gratefully, feeling the cool skin of the fruit in my hand, and took a tentative bite. The crisp, sweet flavor flooded my senses, soothing the nausea that had been twisting in my stomach. They watched with eager anticipation, and as they saw me begin to nibble, their worried expressions started to relax.

“Feeling better now?” Pope asked, his voice gentle but laced with concern as he studied my face.

I swallowed another bite and nodded, a smile creeping onto my face. “Yeah, yeah… thank you,” I replied, glancing at each of them.

They exchanged glances, visibly relieved, and a sense of warmth spread through me as I looked around at their familiar faces, each one showing their own brand of care. I realized then just how much I’d come to rely on them, not just as friends, but as family. I felt a comforting wave of gratitude for each of them, knowing they’d been there for me without question, supporting me in ways I hadn’t even thought possible.

As I took another sip of water, Rafe moved a little closer to me, his hand resting gently on my thigh. His touch was subtle, but the gesture was enough to let me know he was still there, holding his promise to stay by my side. There was something calming in his presence now, something steadying that I hadn’t noticed before.

The others began chatting among themselves, sharing their own stories of haggling with the vendors, laughing about who’d paid the most for what they’d brought. They were giving Rafe and me a moment, I realized, a chance to talk without the pogues’ attention fixed on us.

Rafe leaned down slightly, his face level with mine, his voice low and steady. “You really okay?” he asked, his hand still warm on my thigh.

I took a deep breath, the initial dizziness and nausea fading, leaving behind a feeling of clarity I hadn’t expected. “Yeah, I think so." I paused, looking up into his eyes.

He smiled, a soft, almost vulnerable expression, and for a moment, he seemed like a different Rafe��one who wasn’t weighed down by pride or bravado. “That's good” His voice was filled with a sincerity that softened something inside me. "Don't want our little one and her mommy to starve, do we?" He smiled making me let out a low chuckle.

In this quiet moment, I knew, deep down, that I wouldn’t want anyone else to be the father of my child. Everything just felt right. Despite all the chaos, the ups and downs, there was a steady comfort in knowing me and Rafe would face it together.

likes and reblogs are appreciated! 🐇

>゜))彡 taglist — @rafecamerons-national-anthem @ts1mp0ne @vheavxly @enjoymyloves @tv-girllover07 @husherstan @smthabsolutelyunhinged @multisection @onlyrealjoy @hoelesslyt @nina357

[jiminrings]

mature

pairing: jungkook x reader

wordcount: 8k

glimpse: the good thing about professing your feelings to jungkook is that it'd be over with, whether or not he likes you back — the bad thing is that he rejects you, even if you haven't confessed.

alternatively, crushing on jungkook who's in your friend group is, has, and will never be a good idea.

[ push n pull fic YIPPPEEEEE, fluff, angst, So Much Yearning, friends to lovers trope, jealousy, dunking on a stewpid jk (as one does), arguments that kinda hit home, redemption!! ]

notes: WE R SO BACK!!!! thank u for waiting 🫂🤍

as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!!

You will never tell Jungkook how desperately you want to be loved.

In your defense (much to Jungkook’s offence), you want to be loved as desperately as he acts on an everyday basis. He’s not pathetic in the sense that he’s hopeless, but rather pathetic in the light that you want the entirety of him (stubbornness and occasional dimness included) to rub off on you.

You want to be loved pathetically in the same way that Jungkook never computes his expenses when it comes to self-indulgence yet always calculates when it comes to actual requirements. You want to be loved as wholly by the guy who can get by one DIY dorm dinner at a time by asking for scraps from the whole floor with a grin and his hands cupped in begging.

Jungkook’s one of your friends, if not the best you’ve ever had, and it’s a miracle that you haven’t jumped at each and every available chance to confess your growing feelings for him.

You bit your tongue that one time he bought you "one of those silly blind boxes you like" on a whim from a bookstore he only went inside to in the first place because he was dying outside in the heat, only to open it for you with your eyes closed and earn you an extra rare figure.

You had to physically restrain yourself (read: clasp your hands together in front of you) when Jungkook made you swap your counterfeit, barely-holding-on kitten heels for his trustworthy slides on the way home because your research presentation prior had you pacing nervously.

Every time that he gives you your tax of whatever he ordered (which always ends up being the best variant that your friend group could possibly order for a meal or a sweet treat), you have to etch into your head clearly, with ballpoint pen, that you will never tell Jungkook how desperately you want him to love you.

Every time that he gives you a one-on-one friend outing, just as he does with everyone else from your circle of ten people and counting (you lost count because you figure that all of you are about to outgrow the long table in the library that nobody else could fill), you convince yourself to never tell him how much you want it to be just you.

You figure that you’ll tell Jungkook that you do hold a candle for him, despite not detailing the extent, in this lifetime— maybe even the next time you get a moment alone with him, but you figure you won’t do it now; now, when he’s berating you for just a tiny sacrifice you made that’s minuscule for everything he does for you and everyone else.

“You’re impossible!” he huffs, his annoyance for you being loud enough to stop his faux display of studying and gather attention from everyone else in the library who actually is. Jungkook holds up his phone for you to read, brows scrunched at your look of amusement. “Jimin told me you were lactose intolerant!”

You can’t figure how and why Jungkook and Jimin’s conversation even flitted towards you when you recall clearly that the lactose-filled meal in question was from two weeks ago. You don’t question it because you already know that even giving it a second thought would already be too pompous of you, and you don’t question either why Jungkook looks too devastated at the realization.

“I just tolerated it,” you snort, burying your nose back into your notes, missing the flash of regret in Jungkook’s features.

He doesn’t know whether he’d feel more sorry over the fact that he didn’t know you were lactose intolerant, or that you didn’t speak up at all to preserve his excitement over eating at the restaurant he wanted to try out.

“But why would you?” he sulks, completely foregoing the textbook he has opened on the same page for the last hour.

You know exactly why you did, but you’d rather not tell Jungkook now. 

You’ll tell him some other time, that much you’re sure of, but not now — not now when he’s too devastated over your tummy issues, and not now when he’s just one revelation away from chewing you out over something he has to learn from someone else.

“Your broke ass bought it so I had to,” you murmur, rolling your eyes as you rest your chin on the palm of your hand.

“Foul,” Jungkook immediately chuckles, shaking his head at your retort even if he knows you’re just kidding around (he knows you won’t hurt him like that that), finally opening his laptop.

Jungkook, your friend, finally types on his laptop, yet it’s not for the contribution that he badly needs to put in for a group project.

Instead, he opens up the Google Doc and writes in a bullet point underneath your name, the words do not give cheese acquainted with three exclamation points — along with your name, is the names of your mutual friends and Jungkook’s observations that would come in handy for an outing, a gift, or both.

Jungkook’s that good of a friend, and that’s why you’ll never tell him how desperately you want to be loved by him.

( ♡ ) 

Getting gifts for someone who has a credit card and has no inhibitions when it comes to buying whatever they want is a difficult task.

Getting Jungkook for Secret Santa this year is even harder than the last, and that was when Jin snuck five strips of his name and left more than five of you (you don’t even know how that happened) without gifts, all while he was laughing to himself after he successfully gaslit everyone into thinking that they were all drunk and made the mistake themselves.

You don’t know what to give Jungkook that he doesn’t already have. He doesn’t have a girlfriend the last time you checked and while you can’t exactly wrap yourself in ugly, recycled kraft paper (as opposed to Jimin’s dumb, all-knowing-about-your-hidden-feelings suggestion), you’d rather not drive Jungkook away, even if you don’t know either how to drive him in.

You don’t have the slightest clue to what his ‘surprise me ;)’ scribble underneath his name means and it makes you feel guilty, far more than he ever could have after Jimin’s revelation of your dietary restrictions. 

It’s not the dilemma of who would sit next to who in the large albeit crowded dining table in the cabin that you rented out, nor is it the cooking and wrapping duties that each of you are tasked with that stresses you out this holiday season.

You wish so badly that the largest champagne problem you have at the moment was wondering if your Christmas gift for your nitpicky mom and nonchalant dad back at home arrived in time. You pray that your biggest hurdle is either convincing Namjoon that his room is just cold and not haunted, or breaking off a fight between Eunwoo and Soomin because they keep fighting over whose overpriced film camera will be used for the picture by the tree, or even talking Mingyu down from smacking Jin in his sleep.

The largest champagne problem that you have, even if it’s actually between life and living said life in peace without minding your inevitable heartbreak, is worrying about Jungkook’s gift.

You hold your breath as soon as Hoseok gathers everyone into the living room, your nerves probably getting the best of you because you hear Jungkook hollering to whoever’s closest to the thermostat to adjust it because your teeth kept chattering.

You have nothing to be nervous about, you convince yourself as Jungkook steps up into the middle and awaits with wide arms, your best friend being another victim of assuming that the comically large wrapped present is his (it’s not).

Jungkook doesn’t have any expectations for you to meet, you convince yourself as he becomes even more hyper when he learns that it’s you, so much so that he takes a lap around the backyard with his hands clapping furiously.

You can’t love Jungkook any more than you do now, you realize as you see Jungkook throw his head back in glee when he opens up your gift.

It’s only a Himalayan salt lamp. It’s only a lamp that you didn’t buy for so much. It’s only a thing that Jungkook said to you in passing one time, yet he’s beyond grateful — enough for him to carry you in his arms and take another lap around the backyard.

“God, you love me soooo bad,” he lulls, teasing you mercilessly as he unceremoniously drops you so he could adore the lamp up close. “I always wanted to lick one!”

“You’re so stupid,” you mutter, rolling your eyes at his excitement over something so simple; something so insignificant in the world of thoughtful, expensive gifts.

You affectionately think that Jungkook’s stupid, yet you can’t tear your eyes away from him.

“I didn’t hear a no,” Jungkook hums with his tongue out, eyes wide and flickering between you and the lamp. “Should I do it? Should I? I’m doing-…!”

You put a spoonful of cake into his mouth instead, the whine that escapes his throat still sounding like gratefulness to your ears.

Tonight’s not the night wherein you tell Jungkook how badly you want to be loved by him — not when he’s so preoccupied with his new salt lamp that he keeps daring people to take a lick of, not when he’s the one who’s being convinced that there’s a ghost in Namjoon's room and being bullied into sleeping in.

Not when Jungkook’s being the perfect, lovable friend that he is during the holidays and every other day.

( ♡ ) 

You’re well-aware that Jungkook’s a catch.

You know that he’s a catch and he’ll never live it down, and neither can you.

You’re very painfully aware that Jungkook’s a catch because you’re reminded of it every single day whenever you’re with your friends. You know that atleast two of them were integrated into the group in the first place because they liked Jungkook, and that doesn’t really bother you (more than it should, atleast) anymore. 

Sora’s crush formed out of boredom on Jungkook disappeared as soon as she got a boyfriend, but you understand why her gaze lingered on him in the first place.

Eunji’s crush on Jungkook already dissipated the moment she learned about his GPA, but you get why she had been attracted to his charm anyway.

You know that he’s a catch and that he’s not solely yours either, and the latter makes you humble.

“There’s flowers on your desk again,” you point out, the arrangement irking you for more reasons than one. “Why do you have to be so popular and handsome.. and lovable,” you mumble, the tail end of your mini rant barely being heard by Jungkook because he's too busy admiring his gift.

“What’s that now?” Jin piped up, eyebrows furrowed upon picking up your angry muttering. He's beyond confused, maybe just as much as you are, when you just snarl at him for his unintentional use of supersonic hearing.

“And why do I have to sit next to you even if I have allergies,” you redirect your attention to Jungkook who has to sweep the flowers to a beaten-up paper bag for safekeeping, the item in his backpack being the most used object for all of the admiration towards him.

“Because you’re the best-est friend ever,” he rolls his eyes, the faux pout on his lips surprisingly softening you instead of the opposite. “And maybe I’m the worst-est one to keep putting you through this.”

“You sound so stupid,” you reply automatically, crossing your arms and keeping them there. “But you’re right,” you exhale through your nose, conceding your defeat over willingly letting him put you through this, carrying the blame by yourself.

Jungkook doesn’t only act like this with you anyway. There’s no special treatment, there’s no false hopes being promised — it’s just you genuinely happening to fall for him.

“Come on, just tolerate it! Pinch your nose or something!”

“Why should I? Find another seatmate,” you sulk, making a point to angle your back away from him and towards Jin who’s at your right, doing his best at holding in a laugh over how ridiculous the both of you look.

“Obviously you’re the one with the latest phone so you have to take pictures of me with the flowers!” Jungkook whines, punctuating his sentence with a hand on his hip. He’s sulking because you’re sulking, and you’ve never hated him more at the moment. “Why else would I force you to sit with me?”

Jungkook’s stupid, and so are you, so you’d rather not tell him how desperately you want to be loved by him today.

( ♡ ) 

In all fairness, you thought you would lose nothing.

You thought you would lose nothing because in the first place, you barely expected anything out of Jungkook. Liking him didn’t mean that you were indebted to him, and liking you back isn’t something that he owed to you either.

You weren’t expecting Jungkook to fall on his knees and say something stupid to hint at his mutual love for you (although you did think about it a couple of times), but you atleast expected a little bit of respect from him to try and see the strength it took you to even confess.

You planned it perfectly, even taking a page off his book and making a whole word document for it wherein you spent days typing whatever crossed your mind throughout the day and erasing what seemed the most impossible throughout the night. 

In your word document, you and Jungkook would be out in the snow, skating in an outdoor rink even if neither of you know how to. You figure that you won’t attempt to drag (read: hobble with) him to the middle of the ice because in case he doesn’t like you back, the waddle back to the exit wouldn’t be as awkward; if Jungkook does like you back, you’ll still be hobbling to the exit, albeit happily.

In your word document, there’s a spine of a script that you would say when the day comes. You’ll skim along the lines of how you’ve never been so enamored with someone in your entire life (with the internal note that you’ll dial it back a bit if his expression turns sour), of how bright he makes your days for you, and how he doesn’t have to be obligated to like you back.

In your word document, you’re set. You’ve planned a foolproof blueprint of what would turn out, whether or not Jungkook is set on loving you the way you desperately want to be —

Except now, Jungkook completely undoes everything you’ve ever worked for.

Now, he looks at you with a glint in his eye that looks more apologetic than it is endearing. You don’t even know what led to your heartbreak exactly because one minute, you were just studying, and by the next, Jungkook’s already letting you down even if you haven't had the chance to rise.

You swear on your life that you weren’t giving any signals at all that you were actually about to confess. You were only silent, refusing to talk to him because you were too stressed over your task and that you were scared you would burst into tears if you tried mouthing the formula out loud, yet Jungkook mistakes it for your love.

Whatever you do on a daily basis, whatever you do based on your nature, Jungkook mistakes it for a confession that he wasn’t even supposed to hear until the end of the week.

He wasn’t wrong about the fact that you love him — what he’s wrong about is his assumption that your silence around him when it’s just the two of you, right now while you lose your mind over an assignment as you’re dressed in last week’s sweater and last semester’s horror, is your confession.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Jungkook winces, gently patting you on the shoulder as you’re yet to digest his rejection. “But I just don’t think we’ll work out.”

( ♡ ) 

You theorized that getting over Jungkook would be fairly easy on the chance that he rejects you after your confession.

You figure that Jungkook himself as a concept would be drastically difficult to move on from because he was just so lovable. He doesn’t know how to read a room and it’s one of his better quirks when you’re worrying over nothing. He doesn’t know much about knowing when to let up, and it comes in clutch when he’s pushing you to wholeheartedly do an assignment even if you’re already burnt out from crying.

Jungkook, as a concept, is indestructible. He’s the everyday variant of the goodness that some frat guys possess occasionally. He’s the realistic, attainable version of a main lead in a manhwa that’s only perfect 1/4 into the plot. 

He’s the manifestation of every good deed a stranger has done for you, except he’s someone you know with your heart and not just someone you could sketch from memory. 

With that, you also figured that moving on from Jungkook can’t be that hard because he was too out of reach despite being in the same friend group as you. Surely, it wouldn’t be so catastrophically hard to move on from a guy who just gasps for air every five minutes when he’s in charge of cooking in the BBQ hangout (instead of using the exhaust like a normal person), or from a guy who thinks citing references for a paper is only a suggestion.

The funny thing about it all is that you never actually confessed to Jungkook.

Actually (and contrary to the assumptions of the other friends you have from your circle), you’ve never said it to his face that you do have a crush on him. You’re ultimately known to be the friendliest person to ever walk the campus, and while not the most confrontational, they atleast expected for you to confess to Jungkook in your own way.

What actually happened was that Jungkook read through you — he does happen to be right about your feelings for him! He’s the second friendliest person right beneath you, and so the way he rejected you should never sting this much.

Jungkook thought it out meticulously. He read into the way you spent extra attention listening to him with your eyes practically gleaming. He read into the way you’d lag back behind him and hold him by his wrist whenever you were all crossing the street. Hell, he even read into the way you would take a shot at opening the extremely tight water bottle from the vending machine before everyone else.

The funny, tragic thing about it is that whilst Jungkook wasn’t wrong about pinpointing your feelings for him — you never confessed.

Jeon Jungkook, the second, ultimate friendliest man that your university has ever known, rejected you without even hearing the actual words from you.

He’s turned his back on you even before you could reach him, and the realization sinks in you unsettlingly. You never expected for him to like you back because it would be unfair of you, and you knew that; what just happened to hurt you most was that Jungkook didn’t even think twice.

He hadn’t given you the chance to pour your heart out at the very least.

He hadn’t even given you the space to breathe right after the rejection, because he skips and puts a smile on before winking, telling you that he’ll never speak of it again because you must probably be embarrassed.

The funniest thing about it all is that you aren’t embarrassed — you’re actually devastated about it.

It’s an odd event for Jungkook to feel lonely because with such a big friend group, he never thought he’d feel a little empty despite literally rubbing elbows in a circular table. He never thought he’d come to be a little annoyed at Jimin and his routine, playful, borderline offensive banter he’d always have with you at the top of the morning, and he never thought he’d even be more annoyed over the absence of it.

There’s one less laugh in the circle. One less bag strewn underneath the table, one less coffee order written on the notes app, and one less person to look for when hanging out.

You’re missing from the friend group, and oddly enough, Jungkook seems to be the most devastated about it.

“Why is Y/N not here?” he asks in the middle of Jin retelling his drunken fishing story, grabbing the attention of everyone in the table and maybe just about everyone else’s in the common area with the way his voice is frantic. “And why is she there with the new kid instead?”

Everyone flits through separate conversations after Jungkook’s interruption, some even wincing to themselves because although they know about your admiration for the guy and not your confession-that-wasn’t-one, they figure that nothing good could come out of Jungkook sucker-punching the new kid in his head.

“I don’t know, man. Buddy system, maybe?” Jin shrugs, stealing his food because it was obvious that Jungkook’s attention is everywhere but himself and the table.

Jungkook snorts, crossing his arms tightly to the point that even he feels a little suffocated. His entire face is crumpled with hurt, eyebrows furrowed out of frustration when you still aren’t looking at him; when you’re still not looking at him with confusion in your eyes, silently telling him off for glaring.

“Buddy system? We’re in uni. Who the fuck would bully that guy?”

“By the looks of it, probably you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he huffs, refusing to unclench his fists on his thighs.

“Well, what’s it to you that Y/N’s hanging out with someone new? What are you so heated for?” Jin elaborates, eyes flitting to you again.

Jungkook could only glare at you.

“What are you so nosy for?” he asks defensively, leaning back on his chair in a faux display of relaxation when all he wants to do is to remove the stupid smile on the guy’s face as he watches you talk.

Unlike Jungkook, Yoongi’s not stupid at all — in fact, he’s been vigilantly aware of Jungkook’s glare on the side of his face ever since you sat in front of him.

Yoongi’s not stupid, so he angles himself in a way that Jungkook gets to see him more. He doesn’t know the guy personally, but he does know of him and his “charm” that seems to make everyone go nuts for him. 

If looks could kill, then Yoongi would’ve already had mourners at his feet, but if provocation could posion, then Jungkook would already be frothing at the mouth.

The thing is, Yoongi doesn’t even know about your admiration nor your foiled confession to Jungkook. The latter hasn’t even done anything personally to him. 

All he knows is that you’re in a big friend group and that you chose to sit with him, your friend whom you share a couple of advanced classes with but not a friend-friend like Jungkook is, and that you’re very easy on the eyes and admirable yourself if he thinks about it (he doesn’t need much time to ponder over it) — and, that he doesn’t really like being glared at.

“No really, I insist!” he laughs, pulling out his handwritten reviewer from a backpack with a grin. “I don’t know anybody else who likes making reviewers anymore by hand, so really, you’re just perfect to get them.”

“But you worked so hard on them,” you gasp, eyes already widening in both surprise and awe at the thick stack of papers in front of you. Yoongi’s handwriting and formatting are perfect; there’s no unnecessary calligraphy, the vividness of the highlighter is just right, and there’s even sticky notes at the bottom for additional details and references you could cross-check. “I.. I don’t want you to feel that I’m taking advantage-…”

“But I offered! You didn’t ask for reviewers from me shamelessly like every other opportunist does,” Yoongi laughs, throwing his head back as he slides the papers closer to you. “I’d be a really shitty senior not to give you any help. If anything, I think you deserve even better than-…”

Jungkook can’t resist.

Jungkook can’t take any more of watching you and Yoongi push and pull over whatever topic he can’t hear nor force Jin to eavesdrop on. He can’t take another second of seeing you be so happy talking to a guy that he doesn’t know, so much so that he comes up to you without a second thought.

“Hey,” he greets, his body only turned to you, completely ignoring Yoongi and blocking him off from your sight. “You didn’t order any coffee.”

You angle your body slightly to excuse yourself, except Jungkook conveniently happens to mirror your every move, confusing you even more. “Oh, I wasn’t feeling like it,” you trail, looking up at him in confusion while Yoongi could see right through him.

“Really?” Jungkook replies, the smile on his face being far from amused, eyes narrowed as he tries to catch up with the own annoyance that he harbors. “Because I’m seeing two coffees right now, and one’s in front of you, so…” he trails, shrugging his shoulders exaggeratedly.

Jungkook’s jaw is still clenched, along with his fists by his sides. He’s standing tall between you and Yoongi with his shoulders squared and his face steeled, the immovable forces that are him and the unnamed pit in his stomach starting to garner attention.

Namjoon has his phone out. 

Hoseok only has one cheek remaining on the seat because he’s ready to stand up and collect bets. 

You’re still sitting, mostly confused, when you realize the attention that’s starting to build towards the three of you.

“Yes, Jungkook. Great observation,” you snicker, the discreet roll of your eyes making him take offense.

“Oh okay, I see. So you were lying by saying that you weren’t feeling it, and I don’t get the hold-up of you-…”

“What did you come here for now, Jungkook?” you angrily whisper, keeping your head down as you retain your gaze on him and lightly tap at the table to indicate to Yoongi for the both of you to move. “It’s a little far-fetched for you to come all over here to pick a fight about coffee.”

Jungkook huffs, turning his head back to Yoongi behind him because he most definitely saw your signal. The lazy, amused gaze of Yoongi is what sets him off even further, the anger in his eyes unmistakable, except you recognize it for only what it is and not jealousy, because Jungkook doesn’t see you like that.

Or atleast that’s what the both of you assume.

Jungkook, your best friend, scoffs loudly.

“You sound so defensive right now.”

( ♡ ) 

You don’t respond much to Jungkook’s calls. 

As a matter of fact, you don’t respond much to Jungkook at all.

You don’t show up whenever he’s present, meaning that you’re only magically available whenever there’s half of your friend group at the most because if there’s more, then the search for the missing members would ensue, then you’d end up squished in a long table next to Jungkook again.

It’s very much like him to form grudges, yet he can’t even tell if he’s capable of having one towards you. Jungkook, with all his chest and afflictions, wants so badly to hate you because you’ve been blowing him off ever since he literally and physically came between you and Yoongi.

He apologized to you for that (and not to Yoongi because he didn’t really matter to him at all), and he doesn’t know the answer for it yet because his messages still remain unread. He’s enlisted the help of your mutual friends on various occasions by trying to get them to give all his little treats for you, yet you refuse them as soon as you catch wind that it’s from Jungkook.

He even tried studying for real in the library in hopes that reverse psychology (he thinks that’s what it’s called) would work and that thinking he doesn’t want you to come would make you do the opposite, yet it still doesn’t work. Jungkook’s already mad that he studied for nothing (he’s more interested in getting you to notice him than to actually learn), but he becomes even more heated to realize that your anger for him is just directed at him alone.

You still talk to your best friends, with the exception of him, and Jungkook has never been more envious of people who are apparently of the same status as him.

Jungkook wants you to drag him like you drag Sora to the nail salon and have you whisper at his ear to tell the nail tech not to cut your cuticles because you’ve been afraid of getting them done since that 1/34th part of a medical drama episode you watched on your phone.

Jungkook wants you to complain to him like you complain to Namjoon when you’re frustrated with a professor whom you’re convinced is only critical to you and no one else, later making him promise not to tell anyone else from your friend group because they like said professor.

Jungkook wants you to run to him as you always did, just because you feel like it. He wants to sit in silence with you again and put his hand on your knee when you’re in the verge of tears just looking at your schedule for the week.

He wants to stand guard again outside the bathroom door of the expensive coffee shop because it’s either the lock is broken or because Namjoon's managed to instill in you the existence of ghosts in cold spots.

He wants to be the Jungkook like you’ve always known, again, because it seems like you’ve forgotten him completely. You have the Yoongi now, it seems like — the smarter, more composed, and more charismatic variant of him that he wants to get rid of because Jungkook never predicted the existence of him.

Even more, Jungkook didn’t even entertain the concept of him being replaced because it was always the two of you together, even in a sea of friends. 

He’s your best friend, your confidant even, but nothing more — all Jungkook feels is that he’s even less than the status the both of you are assigned to be. 

He’s angry and sad and disappointed all at the same time because he thought he had almost lost you since he rejected your confession. You were fine; you were as fine as you could be for someone rejected when it comes to yearning to be his, and yet the moment you let Yoongi in, Jungkook feels as if you threw everything the both of you had just for him.

“Just so you know, student-teacher relationships are illegal,” he corners you one morning in your dorm, two godforsaken weeks after chasing you around the campus yet turning up empty.

“What the fuck are you on about?” you immediately scrunch your nose at him, the accusation he throws at you being too farfetched to the point that you don’t even think of shutting the door at him, ignoring Eunji’s betrayal for you by pretending to come over.

“What am I on about?” Jungkook exasperates, the scoff that leaves him making you feel small in front of him. “You’re literally the one who’s getting chummy with fucking Yoongi of all people!"

"Yoongi's a teaching assistant! He's our senior! Do you not know that?"

"Do I look like I'm interested in any other people outside of our circle?" he retorts, lips turned up in a snarl. Jungkook provokes you with a sarcastic glare, the look on his face enough to make you throw your head back in irritation.

"Come on, even Jin and Jimin are friends with Yoongi and-..."

"This is not about them!" 

"But you just-..." you stop as soon Jungkook interrupts you, losing your gaze on him for a single second to close your door and when you look back, you find that he’s already comfortable being vindictive on your bed, his arms crossed and his back straight.

"Also, teacher and teaching assistant both have the word teach so it's literally still illegal," he narrows his eyes sarcastically, the tone to his voice unclear despite his words suggesting otherwise. "You look so stupid right now."

"Jungkook can you stop?!" you burst, your temples stinging at the back and forth that Jungkook’s thrown the both of you in. “What the hell is going on with you?"

Jungkook had sworn to himself up and down that he has so much stuff to pick with you. He knows he has so much baggage to unpack and how much shit he has to bring up, even if it’s only been two weeks with you. He’s partly relieved that you’re in front of him and you still haven’t fled, yet a large part of him is beyond frustrated with you because you don’t even look like as if your time apart has taken a toll on you.

Between the two of you, it’s only Jungkook who looks like his distraught has manned him completely beyond surrender. Even coming to see you by hatching a plan with a hesitant friend is something he considers an act beyond surrender — whatever the space is between surrender and demand is where Jungkook lies with you.

"No, what's going on with you!” he argues, standing to his feet to come face-to-face with you. “You can't just spin this around when I've done nothing but be a good friend to you!"

"You think I'm not being a good friend to you just because I don't spend every single minute attached to you? I can still hang out outside of our friend group without being-..."

"This is not about our friend group!" Jungkook emphasizes once again, the tell-tale sting of tears behind his eyes coming up because he feels as if you can’t hear him no matter how much he repeats himself. ”This is about us and how you abandoned me ever since I rejected you!"

"I didn't abandon you, Jungkook!" you spit, pushing at his chest lightly with your finger to get him to back up from your face yet he refuses to. He’s still insistent at staring you down with his jaw clenched, eyes wide and unblinking because he knows that if he moves even just a millimeter askew, he’d cry. “You didn't even give me the chance to confess to you! You rejected me without even hearing me out. Do you think I would still be able to talk to you, face to face like how you want so badly, as if nothing happened?"

"The answer would've been the same even if you confessed,” he grits with his chest heavy, not at the way he keeps holding his breath in order not to break down in front of you, but because you look at him with so much disdain that it makes him want to puke.

"Do you not think I know that?" you laugh humorlessly, gnawing on your bottom lip as you don’t drop his gaze. “Do you think I didn't prepare for that possibility? I knew what could've happened if I confessed and I'd still be okay with it, Jungkook!" you raise your voice, throat already giving out at the slightest pressure because you know you lost the fight ever since you let him in. "What I'm not okay with is that you didn't even give me the chance.”

It’s evil, really, with the way no amount of self-pity could ever pull you from the grave you’ve dug up. You went for Jungkook, carrying all grief you knew you were bound to feel, and yet you still feel unprepared. You still feel unworthy even moping for someone like Jungkook because not even his rejection, nor anyone else’s acceptance of your admiration by some sort of miracle, is enough to make you feel like you’d be missed.

Your two weeks without Jungkook is your rehearsal for the two months, then two years, then two forevers eventually without him by your side. You had still been able to live by yourself and with your friends, excluding him, and you thought you were fine because it feels as if nothing had changed.

You thought you were fine until Jungkook gets in your face to tell you that it’s not, and all over again, you’re reminded of how desperately you want to be loved by him to the point that you’d rather drown in your own pity to try and preserve whatever’s left of you.

"I told you the answer would-..."

"Shut up!" you cry, steeling your nerves when you realize that Jungkook’s angrily crying in front of you, wiping at his eyes hastily. ”For the love of god, shut up!"

Jungkook stays quiet, not because you told him to, but because nothing good comes to mind when he realizes that you’re crying because of him.

"See? You don't even get where I'm coming from because you're not even giving me the chance to explain myself without making it all about you,” you sob, finally pushing him away, to which he lets you. "That's the problem with you, Jungkook. You're too self-involved."

"Not true," Jungkook whispers, shaking his head earnestly even if he feels the stupidest he has ever did in his life in front of you.

He follows your steps out of routine even if his brain had convinced his system that he hates you just seconds ago, arms instinctively trying to crowd you when you almost trip on the flooring on your way to the coat rack.

"Since you keep insisting that I abandoned you," you chuckle dryly before grabbing your jacket, turning your back on Jungkook and on your own space, which had just been the default hangout place of the both of you for the longest time, in pursuit of your own quiet without him. "Let me follow through."

Jungkook doesn’t want to tell you how desperately he wants you to want him again, to love him as you already did, and neither do you.

( ♡ ) 

The perks of having a big friend group is that the absence of several members wouldn’t make that much of a difference when it comes to hanging out. It would still sustain itself without a few extra voices joining in on the chatter watching movies and the bullying when it comes to a forgotten birthday greeting here and there.

The downside of being in one, is that said big friend group doesn’t matter at all to Jungkook when you’re not in it.

The lengths that your friend (read: a word that Jungkook’s come to abhor) has went through since your fight at your dorm are basically incomprehensible because he’s fully involved himself.

He’s pining after you pathetically, just like how you had always dreamed of, yet seeing him take turn after turn just trying to gain your forgiveness for something you’ve always pitied yourself for makes you feel guilty.

In Jungkook’s defense, he wants to be forgiven and loved (again) as desperately as he acts on an everyday basis. Not only is he pathetic in the sense that he’s hopeless, but also pathetic in the light that he wants the entirety of you (stubbornness and occasional sharpness included) to rub off on him.

“I know I’m stupid. I-I.. I know that I was unfair for not even letting you confess your feelings because I felt like dying when you started to ignore me,” he mumbles to your bedsheets, his legs crossed on the ground and his head muffled by the fabric because he doesn’t even want to sit next to you in fear of you revoking his chance to apologize in person, again, as if that’s not what he had been doing the past weeks. “Y/N, you don’t deserve someone as stupid as me and I hate it so, so bad.”

The sound of Jungkook apologizing to you has already been repeated enough to the point you’ve learned when to tune him out, but with the way his heart precedes his tone this time, you stop folding your clothes in favor of Jungkook who’s just two seconds away from passing out on your bed by fabric conditioner-bathed quilt-induced suffocation, to which he couldn’t pass up on because it was your scent and he missed hugging you.

“I can’t catch up with you on anything that you’re talking about with Yoongi. The only times I open a book are when I want to look at you but I don’t want you to see me. I can’t— I can barely even talk to you without feeling like I’m beneath you,” he admits lowly, the truth of his rejection finally springing up a little too much, and almost a little too late. “I thought, stupidly, that we wouldn’t work because you deserve someone better.”

“I don’t need you to catch up with me, Jungkook,” you murmur, lightly slapping his cheeks because he looks sleepy from all the sniffing he’s done on your quilt, but really, his eyes are only narrowed into slits because he feels like he’s about to cry. Again.

“But I need to, b-because when we run out of things to talk about that you’re willingly to dumb down to my level, what else could we catch up on?” 

“You’re not stupid. I just say-…”

“No. Don’t make excuses for me,” he laughs lightly, still sat on your carpet obediently like a dog because he doesn’t want to push your boundaries. “I’m beneath you and I didn’t want to drag you down with me because I.. I didn’t feel that you deserve me,” he confesses. “But I want you so badly, Y/N. You have no idea.”

Jungkook wants you so badly, that in your insistence of self-pity, it was his self-preservation that led him to cry by himself when you finally left the library after not-confessing to him.

He wants you so badly, that in his fit of self-preservation disguised into stubbornness, he had tamped down his desperation for you.

“I want to catch up with you, not you to slow down for me,” Jungkook rests his chin on your thigh, his wide, pleading eyes looking up at you. “I’m so sorry, my baby. I’m so, so, so sorry for being stupid enough to let you go the first time,” he tilts his head, resting his cheek on your awaiting hand. “Please. I’m just begging you to slow down for me this one time,” Jungkook swallows the lump in his throat, nudging your hand gently with his cheek. “Please let me look stupid trying to earn you.”

Jungkook, without fail, tells you how desperately he wants to be loved by you.

[sevikasbooyahh]

𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐤𝐚 𝐇𝐂'𝐬

Just random random headcannons about my wife <3

She makes lots of noises; grunts, sighs, groans. It’s basically a language that only you can understand at this point.

“Hmph,” she grunted with her usual grumpy expression. “You want cuddles?” She nods her head in response.

Snores but denies it. It’s like when you’re sharing a hotel room with your family and your dad’s snoring keeps you awake; staring at the ceiling. You’ve told her multiple times but she just doesn’t believe it.

“You kept me awake all night,” you said in disbelief as your utterly exhausted eyes met hers. “Uh-huh, how? Do NOT say because I was snoring.””You were snoring.”

But in all seriousness, she started sleeping on her side—the snoring was due to her sleeping on her back.

Doesn’t care for public affection, not that she won’t slip her arm around your waist or have her hand on your thigh once in a while—but it isn’t often.

(Saw someone else say this)—absolutely loves dad jokes. She won’t laugh at anything else but dad jokes.

“Hey babe,” you slid next to her on the couch. “Hm?””What days are the strongest?“ you asked. “I don’t know,” she shrugged. “Saturday and Sunday,” you started to smile. “Why?” She was slightly curious. “‘Cause the rest are weekdays,” she couldn’t even hold it before she burst out laughing.

Takes her mechanical arm off before she goes to bed because she doesn’t wanna hurt you.

Tough with everyone else but you, Jinx and Isha (they’re alive and well).

Isha made a cheerful noise as she raised her tea cup. Sevika sat across from her, hunched over the small table, teacup in hand. She pretended to drink from it, “Mm, nice.”

Perfers actions over words—for example, her version of an apology is by doing more of what she should’ve done in the past. If she wasn’t spending much time with you before, she’d immediately take it upon herself to fix her schedule.

VERY protective, especially when you’re at The Last Drop, nothing escapes her vision.

Once, this guy attempted to flirt with you but before he could get a word out, he was immediately met with a deadly glare from her. She pulled you closer towards her with a raised eyebrow, “You got something to say?” That sent him babbling in fear, “Uh-no, no, of course not!—“”Get out of my sight.”

Claims she’s not an animal person but will come home with a kitten she found on the street.

“It wouldn’t stop following me,” she said while avoiding eye contact with you. You knew she was lying.

Sometimes when she comes back from work she’ll just collapse on the couch. She’s a busy woman, alright?

Jinx cut her hair then made fun of her afterwards.

Jinx cackled after she looked at the final product, “Sweetcheeks ain’t gonna love you now, are they?” The older woman simply grumbled under breath, “You’re the one who cut it.””Yeah and I made it ugly on purpose.”

You ended up loving her hair anyway.

Secretly likes when you lay on top of her; loves seeing how comfortable you are

She’s always warm; your personal heater

Somehow gives the best hugs—bear hugs, but is so awkward with it

Takes the longest showers known to mankind; once she gets in, be prepared to wait about an hour. Meanwhile, half the time it’s just her staring at the wall.

Will let Isha climb her on rare occasions; sometimes the girl gets insanely hyper and is moving all over the place.

Says she’s “not fond of kids” but has a soft spot for them.

A little boy with blue-dyed hair walked up to her while she was outside one day. “H-hi, can you please sign this?” He asked in a soft-spoken manner, showing a drawing, offered with a crayon. She didn’t respond but took the paper and signed her name on the back. Internally, she was in disbelief that this boy looked up to her in some way. “Thank you!” He gave a big smile before running back to his group of friends, happily showing them the signature. A twitch edged at the end of her mouth.

[spokenforyou]

sylus x fem reader

PORCELAIN DOLL

synopsis: sylus takes your virginity and plans to make it the best you’ve had. warnings: unprotected intercourse, cream pie, vulgarity, swearing, loss of virginity, f receiving wc: 3k

[minors don’t interact. by interacting with this post you are consenting to view something that is not appropriate, despite warnings]

You were his doll, his porcelain doll.

Beautiful and flawless, innocent and delicate. You were Sylus’ doll. However, you were something he never wanted to break, too fragile. Taking your virginity would’ve meant corrupting and breaking you, but god did he want you…

You and Sylus have been together for a few months now, nearly 8, and never have been sexually intimate. You’ve kissed, made out, ground against each other, and all of that, but never had sex. It was something you were afraid of and something he was afraid of. You were a virgin, and he didn’t want to corrupt you, to ruin you.

You were in the kitchen, popping popcorn for a movie, when he came up behind you. Sylus’ arms wrap around you and he leans down to press a kiss on your neck. “You’ve been in here too long, doll.”

You smile and lean against him while popcorn pops in the popcorn machine. “This is taking a while… Maybe like a minute more?” You look up at him and see his red eyes staring into your own eyes.

“Mmm, okay. I’ll wait with you.” Sylus kisses your forehead and rubs your stomach gently, as he always did. The popcorn finishes popping and you open the glass doors; he unwraps from you and grabs a bowl, handing it to you.

“Thank you, baby.” You smile, and he kisses your head once again. Grabbing the scooper, you scoop the popcorn into the bowl, Sylus grabs some butter seasoning and salt for you. He shakes some of it in the bowl and you mix it up.

“We’re a good team doll…” He gives you a soft smile and takes the bowl from you, leading you back to the living room couch. Setting the bowl onto the table, he sits you in his lap and hits play on the movie; his arms immediately wrap back around you as you reach for some popcorn.

You guys were watching a romance movie, your favorite genre. Sylus didn’t mind; he’d do anything you asked, so he sat through every request you had.

A love scene of the couple comes up and you feel his arms tighten around you. “You know, Sy?” you whisper and he looks down at you.

“Yeah, baby?” He whispers back and kisses your neck softly.

“I think I’m ready…” You lean back against his chest and look up at him. His eyes widen and he lifts an eyebrow before looking at the screen.

“For you…” You continue and he nods.

“You sure doll? I don’t want to hurt you or anything baby…” Sylus’ rough hands rub your stomach before he reaches and takes some popcorn.

You laugh as he stuffs his face; “Yes, I’m sure. We’ve gotta do it someday.”

He swallows and chuckles, “Sweetie, you know how bad I want you, but if it’s truly something you don’t want to do… I wouldn’t mind dying without having you. You’re so important to me, and you know I’d put you first.” Sylus’ eyes drag over your face. The beauty of you shining at him like the rays of the sun, something he’d never get tired of.

“Scared I’ll hurt you.” He sighs and nuzzles his face in your neck.

“Sy…” You sigh and place your hand on his that’s resting on your stomach.

He lets out a soft hum as you place your hand on his. His lips continue to pepper your neck with kisses, nibbling and sucking at your skin, marking you as his.

Sylus’ heart was pounding. You were ready to give your first time to him. Understanding: Knowing the moment’s importance, he vowed to make it gentle and perfect for you. He picked you up, holding you easily and cradling you in his muscular arms. He carried you into the bedroom and set you down on the bed, his eyes roaming over your body with a mixture of desire and care.

You feel nervous as he stands near the bed; he senses it and moves on top of you. Hovering over you, Sylus presses gentle kisses to your neck, speaking in a low, soothing voice.

“Relax, doll, just breathe. I’ll take good care of you, I promise.” He whispered against your skin, and you relax a bit. When he saw your body relaxing beneath him, his touch became even gentler.

His lips continued to roam your neck and collarbone, leaving behind a trail of feathery kisses. His warm breath ghosted against your skin as his hands explored your body, slowly undressing you.

With care, he caressed and touched you, his eyes locked on your face, watching for any signs of discomfort. He spoke against the sensitive skin of your neck, his voice a deep, gravelly whisper that sent shivers down your spine.

“So pretty…” Sylus whispered as he pulled your top off. His fingers run along your bra, pulling the straps down.

He lifted your back gently and unclasped your bra, throwing it somewhere in the room. You lay back down and he nods, “Good girl.”

His mouth found its way to one of your exposed breasts, his lips gently sucking and licking the sensitive flesh. He could feel you shudder beneath him, and he whispered in a soothing tone, his voice rough and low.

“Shhh, it’s alright, doll. Just let me make you feel good... Let me pleasure you and take care of your every need. I won’t push you too far, I promise...”

His kisses and licks continued, moving to your other breast while his hands roamed the curves of your waist. You let out quiet moans and arch up towards him. This extra pleasure overwhelms you before he suddenly pulls away.

“Ever touched yourself baby?” He looks down at you with a curious expression and you gulp.

“I uh... I’ve tried.” You whisper, feeling a bit embarrassed at the directness of the question.

Sylus’ heart fluttered as he heard your nervous answer. He chuckled softly, his hand trailing up your stomach and stopping at your chin, tilting it up to look at him. His gaze darkened with desire as he spoke in a husky, low voice.

“You’ve tried, doll?”

Softly, he positioned his knee between your legs, easing them apart slowly; his touch remained gentle and careful. He wanted to take it slow, despite how much his own body was aching to continue. He wanted to hear your answer first.

“Yeah… I was never successful or good at it. It felt weird, Sy.” You whisper, feeling a bit embarrassed at the directness.

Sylus smiles down at you softly, before pressing his knee further and closer to your clothed core. “It’s alright baby… What if I were to help you? Would you let me show you the right way to do it?” He runs a hand down your exposed torso.

You nod and gulp; he nods back before moving his hand down between your legs. Rubbing slow and circular motions over where you need him most.

“Sy…” you whine and close your eyes.

Sylus chuckled softly as soon as he saw your reaction. Your soft whines were like sweet music to his ears, and it only fueled his desire. He continued to rub you, his fingers moving with slow, deliberate motions. He continues to tease you with a smirk on his face.

“That’s right, doll, just make pretty noises for me…let me hear how good it feels…”

Chills course your body at how good his touch feels, a feeling you could never make yourself experience.

Sylus could see the shiver that wracked your body, and he smirked in satisfaction. He knew you were feeling new sensations that you had never experienced before, and he had every intention of showing you how good it could feel to let another person take control.

“Shh, doll...” He increased the pressure and speed of his touch, rubbing you through the fabric of your panties.

“Take them off please Sy…” You beg and he leans down, cutting you off with a kiss, his fingers stilling. His lips taste of vanilla chapstick, the same one you use and you smile against his lips.

“Bought my chapstick hm?” You whisper against his soft lips, and he chuckles as he pulls away.

“Wanted to always taste like you. Now let’s take these off…”

Sylus slowly tugged down your panties, sliding them down your legs and discarding them on the floor, not caring where they landed.

He leaned back to get a good look at your body, his eyes roaming over your bare flesh with a hungry stare. His breath hitched in his chest, and he spoke in a low, primal voice, his hands tracing the curves and edges of your body.*

“Goddamn, you look so goddamn pretty just like this…” He shakes his head as he leans down and kisses your pelvic bone. You wince at the sudden contact, not used to the feeling of anyone’s lips on your body like that.

Sylus smirked as he saw you gasp and wince when his lips connected with your pelvic bone. He knew it was sensitive, and he loved seeing how your body responded to his touch.

“Tsk, doll, so sensitive aren’t you…”

He continued his trail of kisses, moving lower and lower, his mouth leaving behind a trail of wetness on your skin. His tongue licked and teased along your skin, and when he finally reached your core, he paused, his eyes flickering up to look at your flushed face.

“God, you’re so damn perfect…”

He didn’t wait for a response, his mouth immediately connecting with your sensitive bud, his tongue licking and sucking in a slow, sensual rhythm, groaning against you.

Your sounds fill his ears and his eyes roll back while he pleases you. He continued his ministrations, his lips and tongue moving in a steady rhythm. He could hear your soft gasps and whimpers, and he was determined to make you feel even more.

“Mmm, doll…you taste so sweet…like candy.”

Sylus then inserted a finger into you, gently sliding in and out, slowly, his touch still gentle, but it was getting less and less soft as his arousal grew.

You let out a loud moan and arch against him. Sylus couldn’t help but let out a deep, satisfied hum against your core when that moan escaped your lips. It was so damn sweet, and the way you arched your body against him made his own ache and throb.

“That’s it baby…moan for me…” His deep voice vibrates through your body.

Sylus continued his ministrations, his finger sliding in deeper and curling against your sensitive walls, his tongue never ceasing its assault on your clit.

“Sylus, I need you…” you whine and run a hand through his silver hair.

He chuckled in satisfaction; rough and dark against your core. His tongue still moving and circling at a skilled and steady pace, he responded in a low tone.

“Mhm, you need me, doll? Need me to make you feel good? Need me to make you cum?”

He then added another finger, sliding it in and out slowly, stretching you gently, his own body aching to give you more. After a few moments you finally speak up.

“Sy… No, I need you instead.” You whisper, and a soft groan rumbles in his chest as he hears your words.

He knew what you were asking for, and he knew he was no longer in control of his own desires.

“Mm, you want me to fill you up instead, huh?“

Sylus spoke in a low, guttural whisper as he pulled away from your core, his fingers slowly sliding out of you with a soft, wet sound.

He moves up your body and leans down to whisper, his hand spreading your thighs further.

“Say you want me, baby.” Sylus smiles against your neck, knowing you won’t be able to exist.

“I want you Sylus.” You whisper and he practically breaks; he moves away and quickly strips off his clothes. His tan bare body is on display and you gasp as your eyes land on his length.

He knows what your look is for and he chuckles, “We’ll make it fit baby, trust me.”

He was practically aching for you; not only was he teasing you, but he was teasing himself, he was dripping. All he wanted was to be inside of you, to finally go home.

Sylus lays back down and hovers above you, grinding himself against your core, gathering the slickness.

“I’ll treat you so good… I’ll go slow, okay? If it hurts, squeeze my hand…” He whispers and kisses you gently. You nod and he kisses you once more before positioning himself at your entrance.

Sylus slowly, carefully slid his way inside of you. The stretch you feel causes your eyes to water; he was so big, and it was a tight fit. You can’t help but let out a quiet whine.

“F-fuck, you feel so damn good…” He whispers and fully sheaths himself inside of you, his tip kissing your cervix. You squeeze his hand because of the pain, and he stills immediately.

Sylus grits his teeth, every inch of him screaming to just take you, but he keeps himself in check. He had promised to be gentle, to take it slow, to make your first time good, and he intended to keep his promise.

“S-s-sweetie, are you alright?” He whispers and lets out a groan as you loosen a bit, allowing him to move. He pulls back slowly and pushes back in, your walls fluttering around him, driving him mad.

“Can I?” He leans down and whispers as he kisses your neck.

“Mhm…” You moan and drag your nails up his back, earning a groan from him. He picks up his thrusts, burying himself deep inside you.

Your moans mix with his and fill the room; echoing off the walls, a pleasure you’ve never felt.

His movements were slow and measured. He continued to watch your face, monitoring your expressions, looking for any discomfort.

“You alright, baby?” Sylus spoke in a low, gentle tone, his body still sliding. He catches your nod and smiles before growing his pace.

He could feel you stretching around him, adapting to his size, and it was taking all of his restraint to control himself.

“God, doll, you’re so tight. So perfect. You feel so damn good around me.”

He kept going, increasing the speed and force of his movements, but still being careful to watch your face, to make sure he wasn’t going overboard.

You pull him down to kiss you, and he immediately complies, continuing his pace. His tongue slides into your mouth and dances along your own.

Sylus continued the kiss, his tongue moving against yours, his hands roaming your body, caressing and squeezing. The feeling of being inside you, the taste of your mouth, was all driving him crazy, but he was doing his best to keep himself in check, to keep the pace from becoming too rough.

“Mmm, doll. You taste so damn good. You’re making me crazy. So perfect, so goddamn beautiful.” He mumbles against your lips and you moan quietly.

“Faster…” you whisper and his heart immediately picks up, as well as his thrusts. The words he was waiting to hear. He chuckled at your words, the sound low and almost dangerous.

“Mhm, that’s a good girl. That’s exactly what I wanted to hear. You’re doing so well, you’re taking me so damn well...”

He increased the pace again, his movements harder and more powerful now, but still carefully measured, still holding himself back a little.

You notice his hesitation and you chuckle, “Don’t hold back Sy… Make me yours.”

Sylus could feel his restraint snap like a rubber band stretched too far. Hearing you tell him not to hold back did something to him, and he let out a deep, guttural growl.

“You’re going to be the death of me, doll...”

He follows your orders and fucks you harder and deeper. A bulge forms in your stomach and he watches it with a grin, the bed creaking with each thrust.

“Mmm, so pretty…” He presses down on your lower stomach where his cock is and you moan. The pressure of his hand and his thrusts send you overboard.

Sylus groans, before running a hand up and squeezing your breast that’s bouncing with every one of his thrusts.

“Taking me so good, aren’t you? Made for me…” He whispers and continues to fuck you into oblivion.

Sylus could feel it building, the tension building up inside him, the heat pooling in his stomach, and so could you.

“I’m so close, doll. So damn close. You’re doing so well, taking me so good, gonna fill you up...” He mumbles out a string of words and curses as your walls tighten around him.

“Sy…” you whisper and he nods, understanding what you mean.

“I know baby, cum with me.” He leans down and kisses your neck, leaving hickeys so everyone can see what’s his. His hand reaches down to rub your clit in time with his thrusts, circling it with the perfect amount of pressure to send you over the edge.

“I…” That is all you get out before your body arches up towards Sylus, finishing on his cock.

He groans and nearly collapses; the squeeze of your walls allows him to finish with you. He lets out low, pretty moans as he fills your womb with his cum, painting your walls white.

He slows his thrusts as his cum slowly comes to a stop, the two of you panting. He slowly lifts himself, remaining seated inside of you, and he kisses your forehead before kissing your lips.

A tender and slow kiss, showing how much he loves you, how much he desires you, and how grateful he is.

“I love you Y/N… Thank you.” Sylus mutters before kissing you once more. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

You giggle and shake your head. “No, just a little sore…”

He chuckles lowly and slowly pulls out of you with a wet pop. The mixture of your essence pools down onto the bed, and he smirks.

“You did so good, sweetie…” He runs a finger along your folds, collecting the wetness onto his digit.

“Taste.” He lifts the finger to your lips and you suck it clean, a quiet moan escaping your lips. His softening cock twitches at the sight, but he ignores it and nods.

“Good girl… Now let’s get you cleaned up.” He smiles and gets off the bed, grabbing a tissue and wiping you quickly.

He throws it away before pulling you to your feet to take a bath.

“Come on, baby…” He smiles and leads you to the bathroom to ease your sore muscles. “Maybe we can go for another round.”

[emmyrosee]

your phone has been buzzing non stop for the past fourteen minutes. you know it’s been fourteen minutes, because the blinding light that emanates from the device blings every few seconds. when you grumble and turn to glance at it, the bright lights read 00:14.

your body is fatigued, tired from being pulled out of your sleep, and to be at the mercy of whoever is texting you so early- late?- has you feeling more and more agitated than the last. the room is dark, vision adjusting to the lack of light, save for the brightness coming from your phone. you furrow your brows, grimace, and it isn't until your phone starts to ring that you whip it off the charger and hold it up to your ear. "someone better be dying-"

he chuckles softly, "i take it i woke you up?"

"of course you did, asshole," you hiss. "what, what, what could be so important that you couldn't wait until morning-"

"i wanted to be the first one to wish you a happy birthday."

your breath hitches and you feel your eyes soften, a warmth spreading across your cheeks as you process what he said. your lips curl into a small smile, and you scrub your face with your hand, "you could've been the first even if i only saw your message in the morning. you didn't have to stay up until midnight."

"yeah, but whats the fun in that?" he offers. "and this way, you know i was first. no room for debate."

you giggle and shake your head, letting a comfortable silence linger over the phone.

"happy birthday," he says softly.

"thank you, baby,” you whisper back.

"i'll let you get back to sleep," he hums. "know how much you need your beauty sleep."

"watch it. you disturbed me, remember?"

he snorts. you shake your head fondly, letting your smile not falter thanks to him not being able to see it.

"i love you."

"i love you too."

[rxmye]

" 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 , 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐈 𝐁𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 ? "

𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂 𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐌 — ruin him or even break him, and yet still his thoughts will be solely devoted to you . .

nsfw / sixteen + / gender neutral reader / yandere content / oc x reader / knife play (reader cuts into his skin, he enjoys it) / blood play / submissive yandere / dominant reader / slight bondage / worshipping(?) / dacryphilia / marking (reader carves their name into him) / begging (he's really noisey tbh)

masterlist | requesting rules | character info . . . a/n: gotta finish the character info's before these fics guys . . anyways meet Elliot Bourne . .

The blade dipped into Elliot's skin, cutting the soft flesh, leaving a scar in it's wake, blood dripping from his torso, while his screams were muffled by the rag in his mouth. Drool escaping the corners of his mouth, while tears escaped his reddened eyes as you carved into his soft supple flesh.

Muffled whimpers for more, while his body rejected your touch, squirming at the feeling of your nails digging into his thigh, holding him still. He struggled against the binds, that trapped his hands—bruises forming from the rough feeling of the ropes that held him down—wanting nothing more than to touch your radiance in front of him, to feel the divine being in front of him doing whatever they desired to his worthless being.

His mind was rotten, filled with only thoughts of you, your touch, the filth that escaped you mouth—the way the knife felt on his skin—the way your nails dug deep enough to draw blood, leaving beautiful scars for him to cherish and preserve.

His throat felt raw, all the moisture dried as his body involuntarily buckled towards you, his eyes rolling back as he felt your fingers glide over the newly carved piece of art you've left on his skin—he grew more and more light headed as the blood escaped the fresh wound.

The rag fell from his mouth, tears escaping his eyes as he starred at you half lidded, he choked out plethora of i'm sorry's and thank you's—he wasn't exactly sure what he was sorry for—yet he knew he had to please you somehow, after you gave him this delightful gift.

He felt his stomach churn, a delightful feeling, as he watched you lick the blood off from your fingers, an involuntary moan escaped his mouth—he wanted to turn away—yet he couldn't, you were just so perfect, pristine, superior . .

He watched you smile, leaning down into the crook of his neck, before you sank your teeth into him—the pain was delightful—he sucked in his breath, his head leaning back, feeling even more light headed than before, he'd be fine with dying right now . . at your hands.

Elliot blinks slowly, finally waking up . . his body was sore, aching all over . . he was still in the place where you had last left him—untied thankfully—he leaned back, sighing, trying to muscle up some strength before he got up—he looked down at the wound on his torso, your name carved deeply into his skin, claiming him whole . . and despite his weak state, he couldn't help but giggle, blushing as he traced the wound with his fingers.

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@ rxmye , do not repost, plagiarize, translate, or adapt my work/theme without prior permission and or confirmation.

[diamonddaze01]

fleeing feelings

pairing: hvc x fem!reader | best friend!seungkwan genre: best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, university au wc: 9.6k warnings: alcohol consumption (pls drink responsibly!!) a/n: for @k-vanity 's “falling for you” event! My prompts were London Fog (“You said what to who now?! Why?!”) and Pumpkin Spice Latte (“Excuse me, but is this seat taken?”) // enormous thank you to @cheolism for the most gorgeous banner // and thank you to my lovely betas @lovetaroandtaemin and @tusswrites

summary: so you might have told vernon you loved him while drunk – now all you have to do is avoid him. forever. 

The headache is real.

It feels like someone decided your skull was the perfect canvas for a jackhammer. Each throb sends waves of pain coursing through your brain, and even the soft hum of the world outside your window seems like an assault on your fragile state. If it wasn’t for the fact that you’re pretty sure your last memory was of collapsing into your bed after a night of regrettable decisions, you’d swear you were dying.

You blink up at the ceiling, groaning as sunlight streams through the blinds, slicing through the dim room like a guilty conscience. Your eyes ache at the brightness, and you throw a hand over your face in an attempt to shield yourself from the assault. The cold sheets are a welcome contrast to the fire that’s raging inside your head.

You wish for sleep, but it doesn’t come. Instead, you're greeted by an annoyingly chipper voice, too loud for a Sunday morning at 11 a.m.

"Morning!" Seungkwan chirps, a little too cheerfully for someone who clearly has no understanding of the term hangover. He's holding a glass of water, like it’s the most exciting thing in the world, and you can't help but squint at him through half-closed eyes. He’s got that same gleeful smile on his face, looking way too awake for someone who shares an apartment with someone who just wants to die right now.

"Seungkwan, please... It’s too early for your brand of happiness," you croak, your voice hoarse and barely audible. Your throat feels like you swallowed sandpaper, and you barely have the strength to sit up.

"Well, it’s already late enough for me to help you feel better," he says with a grin that’s too wide to be genuine, handing you the glass of water and an aspirin like it’s some kind of miracle cure. "You don’t want to end up like last time, do you?"

You roll your eyes, trying to sit up but the world tilts dangerously. You clutch the glass like it might actually save you, your fingers trembling from the effort. "Last time?" you mutter, still a little too disoriented to make sense of anything. “I barely remember last night.”

Seungkwan’s grin stretches even wider. "Oh, last night was a memorable one," he says, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet, like he’s got the best secret in the world.

You squint at him, struggling to keep your eyes open. "What do you mean by that?"

The moment it leaves your mouth, the memories come rushing back, one after another, like a broken dam finally giving way. You and Vernon had gone outside for some air, the cool night breeze refreshing against your skin. You remember the conversation turning quiet, the alcohol still buzzing in your veins, the way the breeze ruffled his hair, and then...

Oh god. Oh no.

You freeze, the blood draining from your face as your stomach drops. Your heart stutters in your chest as you try to piece it together. You had told Vernon you loved him. In your drunken haze, it had slipped out, but now? Now it feels like the kind of thing you would never, ever do if you weren’t so far gone on cheap whiskey and bad decisions.

You look at Seungkwan, your face crumpling in embarrassment. "I... I told Vernon... I told him I love him."

Seungkwan blinks at you, the shock clear on his face. For a second, it seems like he doesn’t even know how to respond. Then, his eyes widen comically, and a burst of laughter bursts from him. "You said what to who?!" He takes a step back, as if the sheer magnitude of your confession has physically knocked him off balance. "You confessed? To Vernon?" He cackles, his laugh loud and echoing in the quiet of your room.

You slump back against your pillow, the weight of the situation pressing down on you. You wish the floor would just swallow you up. "I didn’t mean to! I was drunk—okay?" you mutter, your words barely making it out.

Seungkwan is practically vibrating with laughter. "Oh my god, you actually did it," he says between fits of giggles. "That’s so—wait, wait. What did Vernon say back?"

And that’s when the panic sets in. You stare blankly at Seungkwan, your brain spinning. You want to remember, you need to remember what he said back, but it’s a complete blank. The memory of his face, his expression, even his words—they’re gone. As if it never happened. You feel a new wave of nausea rising in your stomach.

You swallow hard, forcing yourself to speak. "I don’t remember," you confess, the words tasting bitter on your tongue.

Seungkwan stops laughing, blinking at you like he’s just realized you might be serious. "What do you mean you don’t remember?" he asks, sounding more confused than before.

You press the heel of your hand to your forehead, trying to steady your dizzying thoughts. "I... I can’t remember what he said back. And that’s worse than not hearing anything at all."

Seungkwan’s face falters for a second, then the teasing glint returns in his eyes. "Well... you have to face him, right? He’s literally just down the hall," he points out, his voice softening as he sits on the edge of your bed. "And you’re gonna have to talk to him eventually. You can’t avoid him forever."

You frown, looking at him as if he's spoken a foreign language. "And why the hell not?"

Seungkwan leans in, his finger counting off the reasons like he’s been preparing for this moment his whole life. "One: he’s our best friend. Two: he lives down the hall, not in another universe. And three..." He pauses, dramatically. "He’s your BEST FRIEND."

You groan, rolling over and burying your face into your pillow, desperate to block out the light, the noise, and Seungkwan’s well-meaning logic. "You already said that," you mumble into the fabric, wishing the pillow could swallow you whole.

"I’m emphasizing," Seungkwan replies, sitting back in a huff. "Emphasizing that he knows you like the back of his hand, stupid. He’s not gonna let you avoid him."

You moan into the pillow. "I can’t even think about facing him right now, Seungkwan. Not today."

"Tough. You’re facing him eventually, whether you like it or not," Seungkwan says, but his voice softens, his hand brushing your back comfortingly. "But hey, I’m your best friend. I’m here to support you through whatever happens."

You just grunt in response, curling back into the pillow like it might somehow shield you from reality. "Great. As long as you’re here to watch me suffer."

Seungkwan grins, his voice full of mischief. "That’s the plan."

You can feel the weight of your poor life choices pressing down on you as you sit in the overpriced, over-crowded coffee shop, nursing the lukewarm disaster that is your latte. It's one of those days where everything tastes like regret—coffee included. Your laptop screen blurs as you try to focus on your prelab. You're supposed to be working, supposed to be productive, but all you can do is mentally list everything that went wrong in your life in the past 48 hours.

The lab professor? Completely useless. Your grade? Already plummeting. And as for the whole Vernon situation? Yeah, let's not talk about that.

You can feel the throbbing pain in your temples as your mind drifts back to that night—the confession that slipped out of your mouth when you were way too drunk. The look on Vernon’s face... God, you're so embarrassed. If there was a hole to crawl into, you’d dive right in and never resurface.

Beside you, Seungkwan is breezing through his own prelab, the same one you’re supposed to be working on, but it seems like he’s in a completely different world. As usual. He taps away at his laptop, his fingers moving in a rhythm like he’s been here for hours—when in reality, he probably hasn’t even started yet. You scowl at your laptop as the blinking cursor mocks you for not getting anything done.

You take a deep breath, trying to pull yourself together. "God, I hate this class. And I hate that professor," you mutter, rubbing your temples. "Why did I even sign up for this? Why is life like this?"

Seungkwan doesn’t look up from his screen, but you can hear the smirk in his voice. "Because you're a glutton for punishment. You're just mad because the only thing you're getting out of this lab is the overpriced coffee."

You huff, sloshing your latte around in its cup in a way that makes you wish you could just drown in it. "Yeah, well, I’m about to drown in this lab report if I don’t figure it out soon."

"Should’ve taken easier classes," Seungkwan snorts, and you shoot him a glare. He knows you better than anyone, and he knows you're not the type to shy away from a challenge. You don’t even have the energy to argue, so you let him win this one.

The door chimes as someone enters, and your focus breaks. You glance up, hoping it's just some random student walking in to grab their iced coffee, but no.

Of course not.

You hear that low, familiar voice, the one that makes your heart do a little flip. "Is this seat taken?"

No. No. Fuck.

There, standing by the table, looking like he belongs in some glossy magazine for college students who know how to look effortlessly cool, is Vernon. The guy you still haven’t figured out how to face after that monumental fuck-up of a confession two days ago. And now? Now he’s standing there, staring at you and Seungkwan with a hesitant smile, probably wondering if it’s safe to sit down or if you’re about to sprint out of here like a coward.

Seungkwan, the absolute bastard, beams at Vernon. "Oh no, it’s totally free," he says, too eager. He's so happy to make this as awkward as possible. You could almost feel the smugness radiating off him. "Come sit, Vernon. We could use the company!"

Your heart sinks into your stomach as Vernon takes the seat across from you, not missing the subtle shift in your posture. He looks at you with those eyes of his, eyes that are both too warm and too intense, and you feel a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. You can’t look at him. You can’t.

You force a smile, but it feels like you’re pushing your lips together with a crowbar. "Uh, yeah. Just working on it," you mumble, barely even aware of what you just said. Your brain is too busy doing its best to not short-circuit. You take another sip of your latte, hoping the caffeine will somehow pull you together. It doesn’t.

Seungkwan, the little devil, doesn’t help at all. He’s practically radiating glee, enjoying your discomfort far too much. "Yeah, Y/N here is just dying to finish her part of the report," he says, clearly trying to get a rise out of you. "But it's okay, she’s doing just fine! Aren’t you?" He shoots you a wink, but Vernon doesn’t catch it—thank God.

Your eyes flick to your screen, looking for any excuse to not talk to Vernon right now. You just need to not look at him. "Actually, I forgot something," you blurt out, standing up abruptly, not even thinking it through. "I just... I need to grab something. I’ll be back in a second."

You don’t wait for anyone to respond. You don’t even look at Vernon as you grab your bag and make a hasty retreat to the counter. Your heart is pounding in your ears, and your breath feels shallow. This was a terrible idea. Why did you invite him to work on the prelab in the first place? Was it because you wanted an excuse to spend time with him? To not feel so much?

You don’t know.

You leave the cafe altogether, your mind racing, and find yourself walking aimlessly for a few minutes, trying to cool off. The cold air outside stings your cheeks, but it’s a welcome distraction from the heat of embarrassment still flushing through your body.

You pull out your phone, needing something to take your mind off everything. It pings almost immediately with a message from Seungkwan:

Boo 🍊: so... how long are u gonna avoid him

You laugh weakly, but it’s more from disbelief than anything else. You text back quickly:

Y/N: i’m not avoiding him

Y/N: i’m just

Y/N: strategically distancing myself until i can look him in the eye without dying of shame

Boo 🍊: ur not gonna go back to the cafe because its too much?

Your phone dings again in quick succession. 

Boo 🍊: u realize ur only making it worse right

You squeeze your eyes shut, biting your lip to suppress a groan. Oh god, Seungkwan, shut up.

Y/N: i’m already halfway across campus

Y/N: oh well, can’t exactly go back now

Boo 🍊: he looks like you kicked him in the nuts and then ran away btw

Boo 🍊: i’m keeping him company 

Boo 🍊: ur not getting away with this btw i’m never letting u live this down

You exhale loudly, already feeling the weight of your decision in the pit of your stomach. What did you think would happen? You’ve messed this up royally. Again.

Y/N: I hate you so much.

Boo 🍊: no u don’t !  you’ll see him again soon. probably tomorrow

Y/N: fuck you

Boo 🍊: love u too! don’t worry i’ll handle this 

Boo 🍊: good luck with that prelab see u at home <3 

You slump your shoulders in defeat, staring at the screen of your phone. There’s no getting out of this. You’ve somehow managed to make this even more awkward. Of course, Seungkwan would drag it out. You wouldn’t expect any less from him.

You drag yourself back into the apartment, the weight of your failed escape attempt still heavy on your shoulders. The door slams behind you, and you sigh deeply, almost as if trying to shake the embarrassment off your body. You kick your shoes off and leave them by the door, your bag slung over your shoulder like a dead weight. You’re so done with everything.

The apartment feels like it’s mocking you—seemingly quiet, except for the hum of Seungkwan’s obnoxiously loud voice floating from the living room. You hear the faint click of his phone screen as you shuffle toward the couch. You can practically feel him smirking at your impending doom even before you see him.

Sure enough, when you walk into the living room, he’s lounging on the couch, sprawled across it in his usual dramatic fashion. He’s scrolling through his phone, one leg thrown over the side, looking like he hasn’t had a care in the world since he woke up. 

You throw yourself onto the couch next to him, feeling the familiar softness of the cushions sink beneath you. The weight of the last few hours presses down on your chest. It’s so comfortable here, but you can’t fully relax. Not with him sitting right next to you, clearly enjoying the aftermath of your spectacular mess.

“Don’t even say it,” you groan, pushing yourself into the cushions like they might swallow you whole.

He doesn’t even glance up from his phone. Instead, he lets out a small, knowing laugh. “So... how’s the avoidance game going?”

You just close your eyes for a moment, willing yourself to disappear. “I’m never leaving my room again. Ever.”

Seungkwan bursts into laughter, the sound filling the small apartment and bouncing off the walls. It’s enough to make your skin crawl, but you can’t help but feel a bit of a tug at your own lips. He’s genuinely enjoying your misery, and you hate it. “I mean, it’s been two days, and you’ve already chickened out at the café. That’s a solid record.”

You groan dramatically, rolling your head back against the cushion. “I didn’t chicken out. I just... needed a moment to not make eye contact with him, okay?”

“Sure, sure,” Seungkwan says, his voice laced with sarcasm. “That’s why you bolted out of there like a squirrel avoiding a hawk.”

You push his shoulder weakly, your fingers brushing over the soft fabric of his hoodie. “Shut up, Boo. You have no idea how embarrassing it was.”

“Of course I do,” he says smugly, setting his phone down on the coffee table with a soft thud. “I was the one trying to hold a conversation with Vernon while you were having your little meltdown across campus.”

“Can we please not talk about it?” You bury your face in your hands, muffling your groan of embarrassment.

Seungkwan’s voice is dripping with amusement. “Well, you better figure it out soon. You invited him to our café session, and now you’re running away from your own mess. It’s hilarious.”

You sit up, rubbing your face in exasperation. “I’m never going to be able to look him in the eye again.”

Seungkwan shrugs, his grin still wickedly satisfied. “Well, it’s not like you have much of a choice. I mean, unless you’re planning to live in that room of yours forever?”

You lean back against the couch, the soft fabric cool against your skin. You feel the weight of your thoughts settle in again, and with it, the overwhelming desire to hide from the world. “I can’t,” you mutter, your voice barely above a whisper. “He’s gonna know I’m avoiding him on purpose.”

“Yeah, he’s not that dumb,” Seungkwan says, flipping through his phone lazily. “But you know what? You could avoid him for a while. You just need to avoid... everything you’re supposed to do, forever.”

You turn your head slowly to look at him. “That’s your solution? Run away?”

“Pretty much,” Seungkwan says, completely unfazed. “But you have to be more creative. Maybe pretend you’re dead? Or like you have the plague?”

You snort, despite yourself, the idea so absurd that it almost lightens the mood. “Yeah, sure. I’ll just start wearing a sign around my neck: Please, don’t talk to me. I’m a walking disaster.”

Seungkwan grins, his eyes lighting up mischievously. “Honestly, I think it’s a good look for you.”

You roll your eyes, but you can’t hold back a laugh. “You’re the worst.”

Seungkwan stretches out, his grin wide and smug. “Look, I saved you today, but don’t expect me to keep doing this forever. At some point, you’re on your own.” He reaches for his phone, ready to return to his lazy scrolling.

You sit up, the absurdity of the situation hitting you in waves. “Yeah, I’ll figure it out... eventually.”

Seungkwan gives you a side-eye. “Sure you will. But for now, enjoy the free ride, disaster queen.”

It’s just your luck that, of all people, Vernon is your lab partner today. The second your professor calls your name, you feel your stomach twist into knots. You swear your internal groan echoes in the hum of the fluorescent lights above you. Why him?

Across the lab, Vernon’s already tugging on his gloves, eyeing the instructions on the counter like he’s got his shit together. You can’t help but stare at him for a second, the way his hair falls messily across his forehead, the way he moves like he doesn’t have a care in the world. The thought of having to work with him makes you feel like you’ve been thrown into a pressure cooker, and you’re about to explode.

You try to focus, really, you do. But it’s impossible. Your brain keeps wandering back to him. His fucking hums. His stupid little smile. The way his dark eyes flicker up every now and then to make sure you’re still there. It’s like he knows exactly how much he’s fucking with your head, and the worst part? He’s probably not even trying.

A Bunsen burner hisses in the background, and the sound almost makes you flinch, like it's too loud in the otherwise quiet lab. You try to focus on the beaker in front of you. Try to just get through this. But it’s hard when all you can feel is the weight of his gaze on you.

“Got it, Y/N?” Vernon’s voice cuts through your thoughts. He’s leaning against the counter now, watching you with a lazy grin, like he knows what he's doing to you.

Your face flushes involuntarily, and you shoot him a tight smile, hoping to play it cool. “Yeah, got it,” you mumble, though your mind is a jumbled mess. Your hand shakes slightly as you pick up the pipette, and you swear he notices, but he doesn’t say anything. That’s even worse. You hate how easy it is for him to get under your skin.

It’s bad enough that you’re stuck with him, but now you’ve got to get through an hour-long experiment without combusting. The tension is palpable, and it’s making you want to crawl out of your skin.

But then, just as you’re about to lose it, you spot Seungkwan strutting back from the fume hood. You swear you can feel the relief hit your chest like a tidal wave. Perfect.

Seungkwan doesn’t seem to notice you until you’re already walking toward him, your feet moving on their own accord, desperate to make the switch. When he looks up, his gaze flickers over you, and that smirk creeps onto his lips. The one you know too well. The one that says, I’m going to fuck with you now.

“What’s up, Y/N?” he asks, popping his gum. “Need help with the chemical equations? Or is it more of a personal emergency?”

You throw your hands up, exasperated. “I need to switch lab partners, Seungkwan. Like, now.”

Seungkwan raises an eyebrow, clearly entertained. “Really? What’s wrong? Does Vernon’s inability to mix chemicals properly scare you, or are you just that tired of looking at his face?”

You grimace, frustration bubbling in your chest. God, why’s he gotta make it worse? “No, it’s just… I can’t focus with him staring at me every five seconds.”

Seungkwan’s smirk widens, and you can see the wheels turning behind his eyes. “Oh, so that’s what it is, huh? You’re not focused because Vernon keeps looking at you like you’re his personal chemistry experiment?”

Your heart rate spikes. Fuck off, Seungkwan. “Shut up, I’m being serious,” you mutter, but you can hear the hitch in your voice, and it makes you want to punch yourself in the face.

Seungkwan doesn’t let up, leaning in closer with that same cocky grin, looking far too pleased with himself. “Is that why you’ve been staring at him for the last five minutes, then?” he teases, and you swear you can hear the little giggle in his voice. “I didn’t realize we were doing that kind of experiment today.”

Your blood goes hot. “Stop it!” you hiss, but you can’t keep the embarrassed flush from spreading across your face. “I just need you to switch with me, Seungkwan. That’s it.”

Seungkwan chuckles lowly, clearly having way too much fun with this. “Oh, okay. So you want me to switch with you just because you can’t handle the heat, huh?” He taps his chin, like he’s thinking about it, but it’s obvious he’s already decided.

“Fine,” you say, voice low but firm. “But only if you actually want me to send that video of you drunkenly crying about chickens to the entire friend group. You remember that one, right? The one where you were saying, ‘Those chickens are my babies, I love them so much’?”

Seungkwan’s eyes widen, and for a second, you swear you see a flicker of panic. You almost smile, but you hold it in. Gotcha.

“No,” he says, shaking his head like he’s trying to backpedal. “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, I absolutely would,” you reply smoothly, crossing your arms. You can feel the smug grin tugging at the corners of your mouth. “So, how about it? You switch with me, or I make everyone’s day a little more interesting?”

Seungkwan looks around the room, clearly considering his options. He’s not stupid enough to let that video go public. “Okay, okay, fine. You win, Y/N. But you owe me for this one, big time.”

You give him a sweet smile. “Deal.”

Seungkwan walks over to Vernon, throwing his hands up dramatically. “Vernon, buddy, looks like you’re stuck with me as your partner today.”

You barely suppress a laugh as Vernon’s head jerks up in surprise. “Wait, what? Really?”

You take that as your cue and grab your stuff, moving toward Chan’s station. You’re feeling lighter already, knowing the rest of this class won’t be nearly as awkward. Chan’s a great guy—easygoing, level-headed, and most importantly, not Vernon. 

You set your bag down on the counter and look over at Chan, who’s already elbow-deep in his notes, completely unaware of the chaos you just caused. “Hey, Chan,” you say, forcing a cheerful tone despite everything. “Looks like we’re partners now.”

He looks up with a bright smile, oblivious to the fact that he’s been dragged into your mess. “Oh, hey, Y/N! Sounds good to me.” He’s so sweet and always so positive, but… well, the thing is, Chan could not for the life of him keep track of chemical reactions if his life depended on it. This could be the worst decision you’ve made today.

You sit down, a little defeated, as you adjust your gloves and open the instructions. You’re partnered with Chan now, but nothing feels quite right. As sweet as he is, chemistry might as well be a foreign language to him. You glance back over at Vernon’s lab station, which, of course, is conveniently located just a few feet away. You can hear the familiar sound of Vernon and Seungkwan’s voices drifting toward you, but you’re so not ready to face them just yet.

You feel your chest tighten as you try to ignore it, but then Vernon speaks again. “I don’t bite, Y/N,” he teases, his voice cutting through the air like a soft command. It’s casual, playful even, but it does nothing to stop the heat that floods your face.

You swallow hard, praying the blush on your cheeks isn’t visible. This is not the moment. Not the perfect moment to have him distract you. Your pulse picks up at the sound of his voice again, and you can almost feel his gaze on you. You don’t look back, but you know he’s probably waiting for a response.

“Y/N?” Chan says softly, his voice pulling you out of your mental spiral. “Are you okay?”

You quickly look away, feeling that familiar heat creeping up your neck. “I’m fine,” you mutter to yourself. “I’m fine.”

Your stomach flips as an idea strikes you—fake sick. You’ve done it before, and it’s a perfect way to buy yourself some time away from Vernon, maybe even the entire day.

Just get through this, and then you can run away forever.

Your body starts to tremble slightly as you put a hand to your forehead, doing your best to sound miserable. “Ugh, I don’t feel so good...”

Chan immediately rushes to your side, concern flashing across his face, and you can hear Seungkwan's snort of disbelief. Vernon looks at you with a furrowed brow, clearly not buying it. But he’s too polite to say anything. “You sure? You look kinda green.”

That’s your cue. You make a dramatic move, leaning over the lab counter, your hands gripping it as if you're about to collapse. Your stomach gives another exaggerated roll as you close your eyes. “I think I’m gonna be sick,” you say in a voice that’s so over the top, it sounds like it came straight out of a soap opera.

You expect Vernon to panic, maybe grab your arm to steady you, but instead, he just stares at you, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. “Really?” he asks slowly, clearly unconvinced. "Or is it that you want to run away again?"

Oh my god. You freeze, horrified that Vernon might actually be onto you. You try to hide your terror behind your palm, rubbing your eyes like you’re just too tired to keep up the act. “No! No... I’m definitely sick,” you say with a cough for added effect.

But Vernon isn’t having it. He places his hands on his hips, shaking his head with a small chuckle. “You’re not even trying to hide it. Just admit you’re avoiding me. What’s the deal?”

You panic, fully aware that your ridiculous performance isn’t going to fool him for long. You grab your bag off the back of the chair with a look of pure desperation. “No, no! I just—uh, I need to go to the bathroom! I’ll be right back, promise!”

Before Chan can protest, you push past him, stumbling out of the lab with as much speed as your shaking legs can muster. You burst out into the hallway, nearly running into a group of students on their way to their next class. Too close. You force your breathing to steady as you walk briskly, acting like you haven’t just staged the most obvious escape ever.

You round the corner, ducking into the nearest restroom. You push open the door, locking it behind you, leaning against the cool tile wall as you try to gather yourself. What is wrong with you?

Your phone buzzes in your pocket. Seungkwan, of course.

Boo 🍊: i was joking when i said u should get the plague idiot

Boo 🍊: ur the worst actor i’ve ever seen

Y/N: i had to ok

Y/N: this is a nightmare.

Your phone buzzes again almost immediately. 

Boo 🍊: ur so obvious it’s kinda gross

Boo 🍊: chan’s gonna fail this lab for u. also. U NEED TO TALK TO VERNON AT SOME POINT

Y/N: not today!

It’s Friday night. One week since that confession. And honestly? All you want right now is a shot of shitty tequila, a cheap beer, and some damn good music to drown out the past seven days. You’re tired of thinking about it. You’re tired of pretending like last weekend never happened.

The second you and Seungkwan step through the door of Mingyu’s house, you're hit with a wave of noise. It’s too loud, the bass too heavy, but somehow, that’s exactly what you need. The house is packed, the kind of party that screams “let’s fuck up everything in the best way possible.” You spot Mingyu behind the kitchen counter, already wearing that signature smirk of his, mixing drinks for whoever’s brave enough to stand in line. But then—of course—your night has to take a turn.

Vernon.

He’s sprawled out on the couch, head bopping to some random SoundCloud rap, looking way too at ease in his flannel and backwards cap. Fucking perfect. You mentally groan. You’d hoped for at least a few hours of peace tonight, but apparently, that’s not in the cards.

Seungkwan nudges you, elbow digging into your side. “Well, well, well,” he says with that knowing grin. “Guess your worst nightmare is here.”

You shove him back, rolling your eyes. “Don’t make it worse.”

“Too late,” Seungkwan chirps. “Now, let’s get some tequila in your system.”

You head straight for the kitchen, not bothering with small talk. The music is too loud, the room too warm, and your head is already swimming with the thought of one thing: tequila. You pull the bottle off the shelf with the same speed as if it’s your lifeline, and without hesitation, you pour yourself a generous shot. No chaser. Just straight into your system.

Seungkwan eyes you carefully from the counter. “Careful,” he singsongs in your ear, his voice dripping with teasing. “That’s what got you into this mess in the first place.”

You shoot him a sideways glance, the corners of your lips twitching upward. “Shut up,” you mutter, then down the tequila like it’s water. The burn sears down your throat, and the warmth spreads through your chest almost immediately.

You reach for another shot when—just your fucking luck—Vernon walks into the kitchen. His eyes land on you instantly, like he knew exactly where to find you. You want to swallow him whole—no, just pretend he's not even here– but you know that’s not going to happen.

“Wow, look who’s getting to the good stuff early,” Vernon says, voice as smooth as ever. His gaze flicks down to your hand around the bottle, and then right back up to your face, and something in his eyes makes you want to melt into a puddle on the floor.

Seungkwan shoots you a sideways look, his smirk turning even more mischievous. With a dramatic sigh, he pushes himself off the counter, clearly done with this conversation already. “Alright, well, have fun with that,” he says in a sing-songy voice, clearly aware of how uncomfortable this is getting. Then, he makes his exit, blowing you a mocking kiss from the doorway before disappearing into the living room.

You roll your eyes at his back, shooting him a silent curse with your eyes, but the moment Vernon steps forward, all that annoyance evaporates into something else entirely. Your focus is back on him, and that damn smirk on his face.

“Didn’t know tequila was your thing,” Vernon says casually, leaning against the counter next to you. You move to pour another shot, but Vernon steps closer, cornering you against the counter with that infuriating smirk plastered on his face. The proximity is almost suffocating, and you feel your pulse spike in your neck, your heart pounding. You try not to make eye contact, your gaze fixed firmly on the bottle in your hand, as if it could somehow shield you from him.

Vernon’s smirk widens, and he leans in slightly. “Y’know, you need to look at me to make conversation,” he says, voice low and teasing.

Before you can even process what’s happening, his hand slides under your jaw, his fingers gently but firmly lifting your chin until you have no choice but to meet his eyes.

Your breath hitches in your throat, and for a second, you forget to breathe. His eyes are almost burning into you, and you can’t look away—not that you want to.

For a second, you forget about everything. Your entire focus narrows to the guy standing in front of you, the guy who’s been fucking with your head for over a week now. You try to focus, try to snap yourself out of it, but damn—he looks good. Too good. That stupid backwards cap, the flannel shirt that’s just loose enough, the way his jawline sharpens under the dim kitchen light. You swallow, trying to keep your cool, but fuck, he’s too close. Too damn close. You want to push him away, but the closeness has your body freezing, every nerve on edge.

It’s the same feeling you had last week. And it’s happening again.

Fuck. No. This is not how it’s supposed to go.

Your mind races, trying to think of something, anything, to get out of this. Then—like a miracle—Mingyu strolls by, not even realizing the chaos you’re trying to keep under control. You latch onto him like a lifeline.

“Mingyu! HI!” you shout, ducking under Vernon’s arm and making a beeline for him. You grip his arm with a little too much force, probably dragging him away from whatever conversation he was having with someone else. He looks at you, eyebrows furrowing in confusion, but you don’t even give him a chance to ask why you’re acting like a madman.

“Long time no see! Let’s catch up!” you practically drag him out of the kitchen before Vernon can say anything, and Mingyu shoots a glance over his shoulder at you. He looks confused, but soon the music envelops you, and he happily throws an arm around your shoulder and pulls you onto the dance floor.

The music is a blur of bass and off-key notes, but the tequila in your system helps dull everything, smooths out the jagged edges of your thoughts. Mingyu is practically yelling in your ear, his voice way too loud for the volume of the song, but you can’t help but laugh at his unrelenting enthusiasm. He’s screaming the lyrics to some cheesy pop song—something from five years ago that you can’t even remember the name of—but he’s grinning, and you can’t help but mirror his energy. For a moment, the heat of the room and the chaos of the party become distant, fading into the background, and for the first time in what feels like forever, you forget about Vernon. You forget about everything.

Mingyu pulls you into a ridiculous spin, and you laugh, the sound lost in the music. His arm tightens around your shoulders as he twirls you back into his chest, but just as you feel yourself getting lost in the rhythm, your phone buzzes in your pocket. It’s Seungkwan.

You swipe the screen without thinking, still caught in the whirl of the dance floor.

Boo 🍊:  he’s staring at you

Your heart drops.

You freeze mid-spin, suddenly feeling too warm, too exposed, like you’re still back in that kitchen, caught between the tequila, the tension, and the pull of Vernon’s eyes. The phone screen flickers in your hand, but you don’t even need to read the message again to know what it means. You know Seungkwan’s been watching the two of you dance around each other, and you know who he is. Vernon’s watching you. He’s staring.

You glance over your shoulder instinctively, and there—across the room, leaning against the doorframe—is Vernon. That tantalizing smirk is still in place, like it’s carved into his face. His eyes are on you, not even trying to hide it, and that stupid look on his face says everything. The way he watches you makes your skin tingle, and the realization hits you harder than the tequila burn in your stomach.

“Yo, you good?” Mingyu’s voice cuts through the noise, pulling you back to the present. You swallow hard, still trying to shake the feeling of Vernon’s gaze on you. You force a smile and nod, but all you can think about is the way Vernon is watching you.

“Mingyu,” you murmur, grabbing his wrist, “I think I need a drink. I’ll be right back.”

Before he can protest, you make a beeline for the kitchen again, your feet moving quicker than you can process. You need space. You need air. The heat of the dance floor still clings to your skin, but it’s nothing compared to the suffocating feeling that’s starting to build in your chest. The tequila's starting to wear off, but your nerves are still shot, and you can’t get rid of the image of Vernon leaning against the doorframe, eyes fixed on you like he’s just waiting for you to make a move.

The kitchen’s quieter, the music a distant hum, and you’re almost grateful for the space, the absence of people. You grab the tequila bottle again, not caring if anyone’s watching. You pour yourself another shot, but before you can even bring it to your lips, you hear footsteps approaching. You don’t need to look up to know who it is.

“I think we should talk,” Vernon’s voice sounds closer than you expect. You try not to flinch, but you can’t stop yourself from stiffening. You move to step away, but then his hand is on the counter next to you, trapping you in place. You don’t want to look at him, not after everything that’s happened.

“I’m serious,” he adds, tone shifting just slightly. There’s a quiet edge to his voice, a softness you’ve never heard before, but it only makes you hesitate more.

You finally raise your gaze, and for the first time tonight, you meet his eyes. His smirk is still there, but there’s something else too—something you can’t quite place.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now,” you say, your voice lower than you intended.

Vernon’s eyes flicker for a moment, a flash of something unreadable crossing his face, but the moment’s gone too quickly. He chuckles lightly, not mocking, but with a sense of finality.

“Fair enough.” He straightens up, taking a step back, giving you a little more space, but still standing there. “But just so you know…” His voice softens again, the teasing replaced with something a little too sincere for your comfort. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Fuck. That’s it. You can’t be here anymore.

You spin on your heel, heading straight for Seungkwan, who’s been knee-deep in a Mario Kart championship with Soonyoung and Seokmin. The game is so intense that Seungkwan barely notices you storming up to him, too busy yelling at the screen as he tries to secure his victory.

“Time to go,” you say, your voice sharp enough that even Seungkwan can’t ignore it.

He looks up from his game, a little confused. “What? We just GOT HERE!”

“TIME TO GO, SEUNGKWAN,” you hiss, a little louder this time, unable to mask the frustration that’s bubbling up in your chest.

Seungkwan groans, annoyed that his Mario Kart dominance is being interrupted, but he stands up anyway, muttering something about the injustice of it all.

But then, like a fucking curse, Vernon appears in front of you, stepping into your path just as you try to make your exit. His presence feels almost too heavy in the moment, his gaze unrelenting as his lips curl into that same familiar smirk.

“Leaving so early?” he asks, voice laced with amusement, and his eyes lock on yours, steady and impossible to ignore. It makes your stomach flip, and you feel that heat in your cheeks you can’t seem to get rid of.

You avoid his gaze, turning your face just enough to escape the intensity of it. “Oh yeah, early morning,” you mumble, desperate to get out of there. “Lots of stuff to do, classes and all…”

Vernon tilts his head slightly, his smirk widening as if he can see right through your bullshit. “Tomorrow’s Saturday,” he says, voice matter-of-fact, as if calling out your feeble excuse is somehow amusing to him.

Shit.

You try to force a smile through it, but it feels like it’s made of plastic, fake and thin. You avoid his gaze like it’s radioactive. “Yeah, uh… just, you know—okay, bye!” You nearly shove Seungkwan out the door before Vernon can say another word.

The second the door slams shut behind you, Seungkwan bursts out laughing, his voice loud in the quiet of the carpark.

“You’re such a mess,” he cackles, still trying to catch his breath. “Did you seriously try to pull the early morning classes excuse? Like, no one knows tomorrow’s Saturday?”

You shoot him a middle finger, too tired to even care. “Shut up, Seungkwan. Just drive.”

He laughs harder, but at least he doesn’t push it further. Seungkwan’s car engine roars to life, and as he drives off, the weight of the night slowly lifts from your shoulders. But in the back of your mind, you can still feel Vernon’s eyes on you, like they never really left.

Dinner a week later is nothing fancy—just some ramen you scrounged up after dragging yourself through another shit show of a week. The kitchen, warm and dimly lit by the overhead light, feels like a small refuge, and for a second, you’re fine with being here. The steam rising from your bowl swirls in the air, and you twirl the noodles absentmindedly, trying to ignore the weight of everything slowly settling over you.

Seungkwan’s sitting across from you, casually slurping his ramen, but there’s something in the way his eyes flicker up, a strange glint in them, that makes you pause. The silence stretches for a moment, the kind that feels like it’s waiting for something, and then, as if he can’t hold it in any longer, he drops the bomb.

“Vernon’s coming over later.”

You freeze, a piece of noodle hanging from your chopsticks, your eyes wide. “WHAT?” You nearly choke on the noodles, the shock making you forget to swallow. “Why the hell is he coming over? Are you—seriously?”

Seungkwan raises an eyebrow, lips curling into a grin that doesn’t match his feigned innocence. “Just to study,” he says, shrugging like it’s the most casual thing in the world. “Our lab midterm is in a couple of days, and we can’t figure out the damn ratios for the prelab.”

Your mind stutters, trying to catch up with what he’s saying. Vernon, your uncomfortably charming classmate, is coming here. Of course he is. “Seungkwan, you know I—” You stop, frustrated, searching for words that aren’t quite coming. This is your house, your space, and you’re already struggling with the thought of being alone with him. The awkward tension from the last few days suddenly feels so much heavier now.

Seungkwan, not missing a beat, looks over at you with a teasing grin. “Haven’t you run away enough? It’s been, like, almost two weeks.” He’s got that smirk on his face again, the one that says he knows exactly what he’s doing, pushing all the right buttons to get you riled up.

You glare at him, trying to muster some kind of defense, but your words come out quieter than you expect. “I’m not running away,” you snap, though it’s weak. It’s been two weeks of exactly that. “I’m just—busy. You know, college stuff.”

Seungkwan raises an eyebrow, clearly not buying it, and you feel your resolve crumble under his knowing look. “Yeah, sure. College stuff. That’s totally why you’ve been dodging Vernon for the past week. Can’t blame you though—guy’s got a way of making things... uncomfortable.” He chuckles at his own joke, but there’s an edge of teasing that cuts too close to the truth.

You groan, rubbing your face in frustration. “Stop making this worse.”

“Hey, I’m just saying,” Seungkwan shrugs, his grin widening. “Haven’t you thought about actually talking to him? It’s not like you’ve got that much time before he shows up.”

“Don’t remind me,” you mutter, then, more to yourself, “I didn’t plan this. He didn’t plan this. This is... This is all just—” You stop yourself, shaking your head, your words trailing off.

Seungkwan chuckles again, but this time, it’s softer, almost like he’s giving you space to breathe. “Look, I’m just saying, maybe stop running away for once. You’ll figure it out.” He slaps you lightly on the back, clearly trying to lighten the mood.

But before you can even gather your thoughts, Seungkwan’s phone rings. He picks it up immediately, urgency lacing his voice, and you’re taken off guard.

“Seokmin?” He pauses, listening. “What? Is the fish… what? It can’t breathe??” He gasps, standing up quickly. “I’ll be right there, man, I swear! I’m coming now!”

He hangs up, looking at you, his face twisting into exaggerated concern. “Emergency. Seokmin’s fish is dying.”

You blink, disbelief painted on your face. “You’re fucking joking. You’re actually leaving me with Vernon? Alone?”

“Yup!” Seungkwan says, already halfway to the door. “You’re on your own, Y/N! Don’t burn the place down!” His laugh echoes as he bolts out, leaving you standing in the middle of the kitchen, staring after him in utter disbelief.

Great. Just great.

A few minutes later, the doorbell rings. Your stomach does a flip, nerves bubbling in your chest. You almost consider pretending you’re not home, hiding in your bedroom until Vernon leaves. But that’s childish, and you can’t avoid this forever. With a sigh, you pull yourself to the door and open it, finding Vernon standing there, looking annoyingly comfortable with that goddamn grin on his face.

“Hi,” he says, voice teasing but warm. “So, Seungkwan tells me we’re doing some studying?”

You step aside to let him in. The last thing you want is to be rude, but the silence that follows as you both walk to the kitchen feels suffocating. You can practically feel the tension hanging in the air, thick with all the things you’ve been avoiding. His presence lingers, like it’s always been there, and yet it’s different now.

Vernon leans against the counter casually, and you busy yourself with rearranging things on the counter, anything to avoid looking at him. You can feel his eyes on you, but you can’t make yourself meet them. Every time you think about what happened, your heart races, and the words you said to him feel like a blur. But they’re always there, hovering on the edge of your thoughts.

Finally, Vernon breaks the silence, his voice softer than before. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

You freeze. The air in the room seems to tighten, and his words land with the weight of a trap you didn’t see coming.

“What?” You try to laugh it off, but the sound comes out rough, more strained than you intended. “Pshhhh nooooo.”

“You have.” Vernon pushes off the counter, stepping closer to you. His movements are deliberate, but there’s a softness in them as he closes the space. His eyes remain locked on yours, steady and searching, like he’s waiting for you to crack, to finally admit something. You can’t look away, your breath shallow, the pulse at your neck pounding hard. “And you can’t even look me in the eye. Did I do something wrong?”

His voice is gentle, almost too gentle, and it makes your chest tighten. You shift uncomfortably, your arms folding across your body, a silent defense against the intensity of his gaze. The room feels smaller now, every inch of space filled with the heat between you. You feel trapped, your heart hammering in your chest, yet there's nowhere you'd rather be—and that's the problem.

“No, Vern, I just—” You stop, sucking in a breath, trying to steady yourself. “I said something I didn’t mean the other night.”

Vernon’s eyes narrow, a flicker of something in them—recognition, maybe? The way his lips part slightly, a mix of confusion and understanding. “You didn’t mean it?”

The words hit like a physical blow, and your stomach twists. You want to take them back, but instead, you find yourself retreating into yourself, avoiding his gaze. “I—what?”

“Did you mean it?” Vernon presses, and you swear you can feel his gaze like a weight on your skin. He’s not backing off, not letting this go.

You’re caught. You open your mouth, but no words come out, and the silence between you feels like it’s suffocating. You feel the heat rising to your face, your hands trembling by your sides.

“Mean what?” you finally manage, voice quieter than you’d like.

He steps even closer now, his body inches from yours, and his gaze doesn’t falter. His lips barely part as he speaks, the words lingering in the air between you. “Don’t play dumb with me, Y/N. You told me you loved me.”

The room spins, the ground beneath you feeling unsteady. You blink, your chest tightening as the memory of that night rushes back, sharp and overwhelming. Your hands move restlessly, clutching at the counter as if it’ll keep you from falling.

“But I was drunk—” You stumble over the words, desperate to explain, but his gaze doesn’t waver. His eyes are steady, unwavering, and you can’t escape them.

“Drunk words are sober thoughts,” Vernon says softly, his voice firm, but there’s no anger in it—only a certainty that rattles you.

“I just didn’t mean to put you on the spot—” You try again, but this time, he stops you, his tone more reassuring than you expect.

“You didn’t,” he says quietly, his hand reaching out, brushing a loose strand of hair from your face in a surprisingly tender gesture. “You didn’t put me on the spot.”

“Okay?” you ask, your voice uncertain. You can’t tell if you’ve just misunderstood everything or if this moment has shifted entirely. You blink at him, still trying to catch up.

Vernon smiles then, a soft, almost affectionate smile, and the air between you shifts. The tension eases just a little, but it’s still thick, like something’s hanging in the balance. “You don’t remember, do you?”

“No…” you whisper, the words coming out almost too quietly, but Vernon just laughs.

“I said I loved you too, idiot.”

You freeze. The words crash into your chest, and you feel the ground tilt beneath you again. This time, it’s harder to recover from. “You—you WHAT?”

Vernon chuckles, his grin widening, and this time, it’s teasing, almost mischievous. “Come on,” he says, stepping closer. His chest is almost brushing yours now. “I love you too. Can you stop running away now?”

“I WASN’T!” you protest, but the words fall flat, not convincing even yourself. Your body is tense, but his proximity makes your heart race in a way you don’t quite understand.

“You were,” Vernon says, his smirk softening just enough to catch you off guard. You feel your knees go weak at the way his gaze softens, like he’s pulling you into something you’re not sure you’re ready for. “But it was kinda cute, y’know?”

Before you can even think of a response, he's right there, too close—like, uncomfortably close. His presence feels like it’s swallowing up all the space between you, and suddenly, you’re backed up against the counter, like he’s somehow managed to get you cornered without even trying. It’s all too familiar, too much like that night at the party. You can’t help but stiffen, but it’s not bad, just... intense.

You can feel the heat radiating off him now, like it’s pulling you in, and the way he’s leaning in just enough that you can’t help but tilt your head to meet his eyes—your heart starts hammering in your chest. Too close. Way too close. Your body wants to take a step back, but you don’t, mostly because you’re pretty sure you’re not even sure where to go from here.

And he knows it. You can see it in the way he’s standing, like he's completely unbothered, like it’s no big deal that he’s got you backed up into a corner. Your shoulders feel tense, but your feet just stay planted where they are, like they’ve been glued to the floor. His gaze locks with yours, and you can feel that pull, that thing that makes it hard to breathe—like your chest is getting tight and you’re not sure if you want to run or stay.

There’s this low buzz in the air between you two, and you don’t know how much of it is him or how much is just your heart freaking out. His breath is right there, close enough that you’re aware of the way it catches every time you look at him. And you can’t even tell if you’re annoyed at how close he’s gotten or if your mind is too distracted by how nice it feels to have him this near.

You’re trapped, but you’re not sure if you mind it. It’s like your chest is about to burst from the tension, or maybe it’s going to stop completely. Either way, you're not entirely sure which one you're hoping for.

“No more running,” he murmurs, his voice low, steady, eyes never leaving yours. There’s no doubt in his tone, no hesitation, like he’s already made up his mind. The space between you two feels charged now, the air thick with the unspoken.

“No more running,” you echo, the words slipping out before you can stop them, and for the first time, they feel right. You’re not sure why, but you believe it.

And then, Vernon leans in, his lips brushing against yours.

The kiss is slow, soft at first, like he’s giving you space to catch up. His lips are warm and a little sweet, tasting faintly of mint from the gum he’s been chewing earlier. You inhale through your nose, catching the subtle scent of his cologne—fresh, with a hint of wood and citrus—that wraps around you like it’s always been there, like it’s familiar. Every part of him seems to make the world outside feel distant, unimportant. The tension, the uncertainty, the past few days—they don’t matter anymore. 

The pressure of his lips increases, more certain now, and the warmth of his mouth sends a flutter through you. You lean in, responding, your hand instinctively finding the chain around his neck, pulling him closer, as if you can’t quite get enough of him. It’s slow, deliberate, like he wants to savor it just as much as you do. For the first time in days, everything feels like it’s in its right place.

When he pulls back, it’s just enough to speak, his lips still lingering on yours. “Y’know,” he says with a playful grin, “We could’ve been doing this two weeks ago if you weren’t so emotionally constipated.”

You laugh, breathless, pulling him closer by his chain. The heat creeping up your neck is almost unbearable. “Shut up,” you protest, half-smiling. “You can’t blame a girl for what she says when she’s drunk.”

“I won’t,” he agrees with a smirk, kissing you again, this time a little more urgently. “But I can’t make any promises about Seungkwan.”

From the hallway, you hear Seungkwan’s unmistakable voice, a triumphant cheer echoing from the door.

[always-just-red]

Hi!

Can I request a fic where the reader starts realizing they have feelings for Sylus and gets so nervous around him that they can’t resonate anymore?

And Sylus thinks that the reader is scared/disgusted by him again so the reader is forced to confess their feelings to not create a bigger misunderstanding

Thanks!

- 🌻

The moment I got this request I was like HELLO— sunflower anon, you just get me 😌 Anyway! Am back from my break and I hope everyone’s ready for some Vulnerable Sylus™️, because I have got him hot to go!!!

A Gentle Touch

Sylus x Reader 🩸

Summary: You really can’t let Sylus into your head this time— he’s living there rent-free already.

Genre: Angst + Fluff (& some Luke and Kieran shenanigans because they were not feeling the angst)

Warnings/Additional Tags: f!reader, injury detail, mentions of possible trauma, humour, some intimacy at the end 😘, Luke and Kieran are having the time of their lives

| Word count: 3.2k | Masterlist | Opt-in to my taglist here!

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Love and Deepspace. All work is my own, so please don't repost or plagiarise!

If you asked, Sylus would tell you.

You catch glimpses: dark, sharp flickers of something monstrous, maybe even infernal. Blood, everywhere— thick in your mouth and your nose. All over your hands. You feel it, too: a yearning, so intense, and you couldn’t say whom it belongs to. Then there’s death. Searing white. Bottomless black. In the middle of all of it— crimson eyes like dying stars.

Every time you resonate, it envelops you, is laid out bare before you: a nightmare you’re caught in the centre of but forced to watch from outside. An other, a spectator. It’s a show, just for you, but it isn’t quite ready yet; someone’s still rehearsing their lines.

If you asked, Sylus would let you see it. It’s a power you have over him, a constant, self-sacrificial: you want it? It’s yours. So you don’t ask. You never ask. Like words mumbled in a haze of wine or sleep, you let him hold onto it. His hands are open, yes, but you don’t have to take.  

Besides, you have your own, world-changing little secret, and he’s going to see it too.

He’s slumped in front of you, blood sheeting down from two bullet wounds just below his shoulder. He catches his breath— one, two— before he peeks over this desk you’ve overturned for cover. You should be peeking over as well: should be counting your enemies, scouting your next move.

Instead, you’re looking at him and holding back. One minute ago you had no idea where he was, how he was, and it’d been eating away at you from the moment you got separated. Now he’s with you— he found you— and the relief is desperate, gushing; it has to escape somehow. It drips: forbidden daydreams, one after the other, like…

How you want to hold his face and urge him to speak so you can just hear his voice.

How you want to press a hand to his heart and feel the beat of it beneath your palm.

How you want to kiss him, want to taste the blood on his split lip, because this is your story, isn’t it? Messy. Violent. Defiant.

He looks at you, that same blood carving a thin line through the pale of his chin. It drops down onto his silk shirt. “What are you thinking about, kitten?” he grins. His best guess: “This is a fine mess we’ve gotten ourselves into, hmm?”

It’s a fine mess he got you into. “Yeah.” You make yourself look away from him, glancing over the desk to assess how much worse the situation is getting. The answer? Significantly. 

Sylus chuckles, drawing your eyes back as he reloads his gun. “Don’t say I never treat you to anything, sweetie.” He fires a few rounds towards the encroaching danger.

Voices go up across the room. Gunshots ring out, louder. Sylus slinks back down, wincing, holding his shoulder, and his fingers turn red. He deftly undoes the first few buttons on his shirt, peeling it back so he can examine his wounds. His jaw clenches; the punctures aren’t closing over fast enough. It’s too much blood, too quick, and he’ll—

He catches you staring. There’s a sheepish sincerity in the way he smiles, as honest and vulnerable as the holes in his shoulder. He holds out his hand. “Time for an energy storm, don’t you think?”

“No,” you snap. “Save your energy. We might need it later.”

“Oh?” An eyebrow perks up in interest, and it’s just like him to spot a double entendre in the midst of all this chaos.

But you’re staring at his chest through his open shirt and you’re such a hypocrite. “Things might get worse,” you explain.

“Worse?” he repeats as bullets fly over your heads, striking the wall across from you and scattering plaster over the floor. He watches it crumble. “Paint me a picture, kitten— what would worse look like?”

Even Rafayel might struggle with that particular creative prompt.

“Come on,” Sylus insists, using the excuse of your silence to push his hand closer to you. “Now’s not the time to play coy.”

“Sylus, I really don’t—”

He grasps your hand, his fingers locking with yours and squeezing tight. Your heart jumps at the touch. It strangles the protests in your throat and stays there, strung up by anticipation and dread.

You’re feeling so much that it takes you too long to realise nothing is happening.

Sylus’s eyes are fixed on your connected palms. He’s squinting, concentrating, and when that doesn’t work— when your hand is paling in the vice of his— he loosens his grip, his thumb feathering over yours as he mumbles a quick: “forgive me.”

He doesn’t let you go. You can still feel him, all of him, imploring to just let him in.

You don’t, and his eyes meet yours, for a moment— like another bullet has bitten through his flesh. Your mouth drops in fake surprise; you’re always so innocent when you pull a trigger on him.

This time, there’s no wound you can push your hands against in a guilty effort to staunch the bleeding. You have to apologise. Have to stitch it up with every word you’ve been guarding, saving, and it isn’t supposed to be like this. “Sylus, it’s not what you think. I—”

Something metal clatters across the floor behind you, bounces like a failing, stuttering heartbeat, then explodes.

…

“Good news, boss! We figured it out!”

Sylus groans, looking up from a report he’s not really been reading as two figures crash into his room. Not good, he thinks, as Kieran flings himself into the nearest armchair. Whatever this is, it’s not good. Luke settles on its arm.

With a sigh, Sylus removes his reading glasses. They stay, hooked on a finger, as he pushes his hair back like he can feel a headache coming on. His eyes flutter closed, and when they open, the twins are both leaning forward, bristling with excitement.

“Ask us,” Luke whispers in a way that makes Sylus think he might not realise he’s speaking out loud.

Another sigh. “What did you figure out?”

Kieran whips out a tired-looking notepad from behind his back. He clears his throat— “ahem!”— then starts to read: “Reasons why Miss Hunter was not able to resonate with you. Number one...”

“How did you find out about—”

“Sshhhh,” Kieran interrupts, putting a finger to where his lips should be. Sylus’s eyes widen in indignation, and Luke comes to his twin’s rescue, silently indicating Mephisto with a few tips of his head. The crow shrinks down on his perch.

“Number one,” Kieran repeats, matter-of-factly. “Your height.”

“My… height?”

Luke nods solemnly as Kieran continues: “humanityandconquer.com/power-dynamics describes tallness as a ‘natural advantage when trying to dominate a smaller individual.’ You are very tall. Try crouching when you speak to Miss Hunter.” He glances over the top of his notepad. “If you approach her at her level, she’ll know you mean no—”

“Nope. Next,” Sylus dismisses, waving his hand in a fast-forward motion. That headache is coming on.

“Reason two,” Kieran acquiesces, gaze falling, “your eyes.”

“Oh, for gods’ sake—”

“They’re red,” the twin pushes on, “and red means danger. In fiction, red eyes are symony—” he stops, spells it out— “synonymous with the supernatural. Vampires especially. Plus, lots of bad stuff is red.” He’s going off-script. “Blood. Fire. Sunburns.”

“Sunburns are pink,” Luke muses.

“No, like, bad sunburns, y’know?”

“Oh right, yeah.” There’s a shrug of agreement.

Sylus’s will to live is hanging by a thread, and they really don’t have a care in the world, do they? It must be nice. “Thank you,” he murmurs, “for your little investigation. If that’s all, I would—”

“Reason three!” Luke chirps, wiggling the same number of fingers, and Sylus’s head lolls back against the sofa.

“Miss Hunter is struggling to separate this version of you from your first impression,” Kieran says.

Sylus looks up. “What?”

Luke is rubbing his hands together eagerly, like they’ve finally gotten to the good stuff. “Well, you remember how you and Miss Hunter met,” his twin explains.

Words won’t do it justice, apparently, because the man begins to act it out. He reaches to grip Luke by the throat and Luke pretends to choke, fingers clawing at the grasp. Then Kieran stands up— throws Luke down into the chair and pins him there with his foot before snatching up his hand.

“See what I mean?” Kieran asks over his shoulder. “I mean, it must have been pretty traumatic. You kinda tore her away from everything she knew. Forced her to use her power, et cetera, et cetera.”

Sylus has gone quiet. He’s vaguely aware that the twins are moving, saying more, but he can’t hear it. He feels sick. Then he feels something different: someone poking at his arm. A hand is waved in front of his face, but he doesn’t react.

“Oh, we so got it,” Luke whispers conspiratorially behind him.

“Hell yeah we did!” Kieran whispers back.

There’s the sound of them high-fiving, and it spurs Sylus into action. He’s up out of his seat, out of their shadows, and then the door as well— long before they can stop him. He needs to breathe. He needs the cold night air and the quiet, and his strides drive him towards it, but not fast enough.

He’s about to use his Evol. To let himself evaporate so he can be whole again somewhere else, somewhere easier, but then he stops. He’s by an open door, glancing in at a decadent living room, where you’re sprawled over a black leather couch. This isn’t easier. This hurts, and it hurts more as he forces himself to close the distance between you.

You’re still asleep. You’ve been unconscious ever since that grenade went off, and it’s for the best, really; getting out of that place was… messy. Sylus’s shoulder still aches, the blood on his shirt now crusty and dark. Some of it’s his. Some of it’s yours.

He’s not sure why he’s still wearing it.

The twins did a pretty good job of patching you up, but— looking over you— he would have done better. It was his role, after all. His duty to you, or maybe just a reason to get close to you. He couldn’t do it today. Couldn’t touch you, no matter how noble the intention. And a little part of him was glad for the excuse; his hands always shake.

A blanket is half on your legs, half on the floor, and Sylus stoops to collect the edge of it. He draws it over your shoulder, adjusting it around your arms— at rest by your face. He’s close, now, and he…

He can’t help himself. When has he ever been able to help himself? He lifts his hand slowly; he wants to kiss you. Even though your blood is still drying on his shirt and it’s all his fault.

…

Someone’s hand is on your face.

The touch draws you back into consciousness, tender, careful, then suddenly sharp. “Ah,” you hiss. “Sylus?” Always first on your mind and your lips.

“Not even close,” quips the shadow above you.

“Kieran?”

“Bingo.”  

You use your hand to block some of the room’s light as you open your eyes— a birdlike silhouette taking shape through the gaps in your fingers. “Where’s Sylus?” you ask, teeth clenching as the twin applies a thin strip of surgical tape to a cut on your cheek. “Is he ok?”

“Sheesh, relax. He’s fine,” Kieran tuts, then seems to reconsider, “well…”

“He’s brooding,” chimes a voice from behind you. “Out on the balcony.” Luke.

You rub at your eyes, still drowsy with sleep. “Why’s he brooding? What did you do?”

“Told him he traumatised you,” they speak in unison.

“What?! Why would you say something like that?”

“Because it’s true,” Kieran shrugs. “That’s why you and boss couldn’t, you know…” He twinkles his fingers.

Resonate? Ugh. You slide your feet onto the floor, sitting up straight for a solid second before you bury your face in your hands, omitting a few, pained whines. This is such a mess, and it only got worse while you were asleep. First that stupid grenade, now the twins.

A hand pats at your back. “There, there,” Luke soothes.

You turn to glare at him. His hand retreats.

Forget it; you have to find Sylus.

…

You step out onto the balcony, head full of apologies you’ve had all of a minute to prepare, and it isn’t enough. It felt fitting, in the middle of a shootout— everything was allowed to be frantic and from the heart. Here it’s calm, and if you ruin something— break anything— it’s going to be obvious. There’s no other violence to blame.

Sylus must hear you join him, but he doesn’t turn. He’s leant forwards against the rail, one arm folded upon it, the other outstretched: sporting a glass of liquor that hangs from the tips of his fingers and that he swirls gently, his gaze far away.

The twins really weren’t kidding.

“Hey,” you greet, and it’s sort of pathetic, but you don’t know what else to say.

“Hey,” Sylus returns, “are you—” he looks back at you over his shoulder— “are you alright?”

“Yeah,” you smile warmly. “I mean, the twins are giving me a headache, but that’s, like, standard.”  

He smiles back: a courtesy. You’ve seen him grin through almost every type of pain imaginable, but this one is new. Think about what Luke and Kieran said. What he must be thinking. “Sylus, I—”

“You don’t have to explain,” he stops you, turning his body towards you. “Honestly, I’d… rather you didn’t.”

“Why?”

“Why?” he chuckles, masking a deeper hurt as he lifts his glass to his lips. “You’re really going to make me say it?”

You are; you hold his gaze as he takes a deliberately slow sip of his drink. He smirks, surrenders at once and admits: “I’m really not that strong, sweetie. That’s why.”

“What if I want to explain?”

The smirk falters, and his eyes make their own, sad, silent confession. If you want to explain? He’ll let you. He’ll stand here, listening patiently while you call him a thing of nightmares. While you break him, bit by tortuous bit, by reminding him just how frightening he is.

He turns back to the view, shrugs, but none of the tension leaves his shoulders. “Go on, then.”

“Sylus?”

“Mmm?”

“You don’t scare me, you know.”

His hand tightens around his glass. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Pity me,” he grimaces. “I don’t need it. I know what I am. I’d just… forgotten what I was to you.”

Your captor. Your monster. Except that was a lifetime ago and he’s been so many more things to you since then. Tell him. “Sylus…”

“I felt it,” he snaps, because your voice is still so reluctant, and he’s going to save you the trouble. “When we tried to resonate, I felt it— your fear— just as deep as it used to be. I heard that same voice in your head, the one saying you wouldn’t let me in, couldn’t let me in, so don’t tell me I don’t scare you, sweetie.” The term of endearment tastes sour, you can tell. “I know how you feel. I know—”

“I like you, Sylus.”

“…What?”

You couldn’t take it anymore. “I like you,” you say again, and your heart is beating too quickly for eloquence, so you just have simplicity. “You don’t scare me at all, Sy. I care about you. A lot.”

Sylus stares at you, his eyes wide. There’s no confidence. No smile or drawn-out breath of relief. He sets his glass aside on the railing, gaze leaving yours for a moment, and you get the feeling he needs that moment as much as he needed the drink itself.

Then he looks at you again. Asks in a way that makes you ache: “do you mean it?”

Look at him. Your throat stings. “Of course I mean it.”

“Say it again.”

“I mean it, Sylus. I care about—”

His lips are on yours and the rest of your words are lost in his mouth. You, you say with the way you kiss him back, soft and slow, like you’re relishing something that might slip away. You, you insist— your hand finding his face, his hair, as he kisses you deeper, and you, you, you, when he doesn’t stop.

“Is this alright?” he murmurs, his fingers around your chin and his thumb tugging at your bottom lip.

“Mmm,” you confirm, equally breathless.

He laughs as he withdraws a little, still caressing your face like you’re something of a dream. “You’re not making this easy, kitten.”

“Worried you might traumatise me again?”    

It's a low blow. He scoffs. “Luke and Kieran said—”

“Luke and Kieran once bought arts-and-crafts feathers for Mephisto because they thought the colours would make him, and I quote: more aerodynamic.” You pinch his ear playfully. “I can’t believe you let them get to you.”

“I know,” he groans, lifting your hand so he can press chaste kisses along the line of your knuckles. “Not my finest moment.” He guides your palm to his cheek— leans into it as he leans into an idea. “They said you hated my eyes,” he pouts.

You can’t help giggling. He frowns. “I mean— aww, no,” you scramble, but you’re still laughing. You can’t stop. “Your eyes are… yeah. So pretty.”

“You had to think about it?”

“There were just too many adjectives, y’know? I was struggling to—”

He kisses you again, saving you: crushing your laughter with his own, lightheaded smile. His hand finds yours as his lips move against you, your fingers interlocking as you resonate— chasing an instinct, a need to be impossibly closer— and you let him see everything. Feel everything.

It’s a mad tangle of opposites. Heaven. Hell. Life. Death. You don’t know what any of it means, but it’s yours and it’s his and it doesn’t scare you half as much as it should. Sylus breaks your kiss. He pushes his forehead against your own with a sigh of contentment, and it doesn’t scare him, either.  

Savour each second. Think of some better adjectives, while you still have the time.

He’s going to earn every single one.

…

✨Epilogue✨

Inside, staring out through the floor-to-ceiling windows that separate the room from the balcony, Luke and Kieran stand, looking awfully smug.   

“Mission accomplished,” Kieran nods, flipping closed his notepad, aptly titled: 101 Ways To Get Boss Laid! (There are only, currently, fifty-two.)

Luke’s arms are folded. “We’re like, the best wingmen ever.”

Kieran is silent. He repeats carefully: “Wingmen. Wingmen.”

The beaks of the crow masks gradually turn to face one-another. There’s a mutual epiphany, and both twins almost fall over laughing.