#but all im rich in is emotions i dont understand

[fishwanderingforest]

I love how a significant amount of my friends over the years has dropped some remarks or hints that they think I am wealthy and I just don't like to show it and am an down to earth rich kinda person, while in reality I'm probably one of the least privileged people in my friend group and me and my family live in a small apartment, where our living room isn't as big as my friends bedroom

Like what on earth did I do to get that reputation

So Everytime people visit me, I just always see how they are genuinely surprised, like no bestie I do not have a pool, large bedroom or two bathrooms, and yes we use literally everything until it's on the brink of falling apart because this right here is an immigrant household (and I'm very proud about that)

[biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer]

Geo cult hear me out-

geo vs sol

How would that go down? Especially since sol is best friends with hyugo. Geo dislikes hyugo while hyugo cares about geo (at least from what we know). Sol is strong physically but geo has body guards and was stated to be good with weapons especially archery.

The outcome may change depending on MC, who their preference is (geo ofc ❤️)- and which route mc takes. but if MC was unsure or didn't care then what lengths would they go to?

Geos advantages

same friend group; close with crowe (how close is unsure but the fact that they are friends says alot). Crowe is close w/ us and has our trust, crowe could get MC to like geo. idk how this could be used as I doubt geo would ask crowe to do this, but what if crowe notices and does it out of kindness for Geo? Not just crowe, but deryl talks good about geo too.

rich; has connections (to the citys founder) & body guards (who are armed with katanas)

popular

Good with weapons, relatively strong. Extremely close with deryl (who's the strongest physically in the whole cast). I dont doubt that deryl would be willing to throw hands for geo if worst comes to worst.

Probably more mentally stable than sol

Could probably expose sol for stalking us or something

Being with him literally guarantees a stable life, hes rich and mc and him would not only be happy together but financialy stable!! A fairy tail 😇

Geos disadvantages

Clearly emotionally constipated, would probably SUCK at being affectionate.

Intimidating, he death glares us and tells us to leave when we ask a question.

Doesn't take action. hes the type to wait for a confession. depending on the type of person mc is, would cause problems.

He seems hostile, not only to strangers but to his friends (clearly in a more affectionate way).this would scare away a timid mc, or even IF mc was outgoing, i feel like geos hostile attitude would just drive mc away sooner or later.

Sols advantages

Hyugo, from our interactions with hyugo he is clearly sols wingman and is trying to get us together

Takes action, unlike geo he asked us for our number (depending on the route). And he is clearly more likely to take romantic advances

Affectionate, hes cheeky / kind with us from the get go, and even after knowing him for only 2 days mc trusts him alot due to how kind he is. Things would progress much more faster.

Protected us in day 2 (depends which route), mc owes him alot, not only that but mc got to see how much sol cares for them, "this man was crying for you". Unlike geo sol would cry and is more willing to be emotional

Strong physically, his skill with weapons are unknown, but if it were just a pure fist fight then sol would win

Probably better at communicating feelings

Sols disadvantages

Mentally unstable and a stalker, being more realistic, this would scare off mc and have a restraining order

Lacks emotion for those other than mc (and hyugo?). If mc had close friends he would be seething of jealousy, and apathetic towards them and again would push mc away because of his possessiveness.

While both sol and geo are jealous, geo doesn't get jealous often, its just that when he does he gets REALLY jealous, and adding the fact that geo isnt as crazy and sol, he would be more reasonable in his jealousy, like he wouldn't get pissy because we are hanging out with our friends like sol does in day 2 ending. Geo likely understands we each need alone time and time with friends and family.

(im not sure about family, as in one of fantasias asks its stated somthing along the lines of "he was to claim a spot in your family)

has crazy rumors surrounding him, its not clear ingame what these details contain, but knowing sol they are probably somewhat true

SORRY FOR RAMBLING!! I didn't proofread so it might be messy... (ﾟ▽ﾟ*)

Hmm, the Geo cult have taken your query into admission, and you shall not be trialed for heresy...yet. (don't worry, you're all good, fellow cultist enjoyer.) ₊˚⊹ ᰔ (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

Anyway, I assume this is going to involve me pitting Geode and Sol against each other, so...enjoy. <33

- Signed by @biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'll be honest, for this fight to even happen we need these two in the same place at the same time.

Which will be difficult...unless we utilise our magnificent MC powers to get them to do whatever we want.

Taking all your points into account (which are excellent, good job btw), I genuinely think Geo will win.

Is it because I am devoted to him? (Yes /hj). Perhaps, but let me explain.

Geo has 4 friends (5 if we include you), one of whom being stronger than Sol (Deryl), and I see Deryl as a cute little retriever that'll go rabid if someone attacks who it loves/cares about.

Deryl won't let Sol get remotely near Geo.

Same with Brittney, if she got involved, she'd use the #gossipgyaru perks she has to try and fuck up Sol's rep even more.

Would be the one to give you a talk on why Sol's dangerous.

Geo also has bodyguards, along with a fuckton of money.

He could easily hire a hitman or bribe the police to ensure he has no legal trouble.

Also probably knows Hyugo well enough, so he'd probably be prepared for things his big brother is capable of.

Will use his popularity to get people to ensure Sol is far away from him (and you).

May not be as handy in a fistfight, but has prime access and ability to wield a wide range of weapons against Sol. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ However, these are the most...social and physical sides of a fight. What about you? ------------------------------------------------------------------------

To win you over, I feel like Geo would simply get you to warm up to his friends, then him.

After all, you'd be significantly more comfortable and relaxed around him that way, right?

Despite being fucked when it comes to emotion/affection, Geo is perfect at other things.

Like keeping you safe from the man who watches you sleep.

It honestly horrified you when you found out.

And you never spoke to Sol again, hell you even got a restraining order against him.

Will make his group and himself look angelic to try and get you to warm up faster.

Despite his cold geode-like exterior, will try to warm up to you (Deryl is astounded, to say the least).

Will probably tell you Sol's from a fucked home and needs psychiatric help.

You might also just start believing it.

[vampiric-succulent]

OUAW EP 45:

Spoilers!!

“WHY DID WE DO THAT” yes Gricko why indeed

Bit quick to jump to nudity there Torbek

Gricko is just full of great ideas today

“You are familiar with mirages” THIS ALMIRAJ IS NO MIRAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nikkie: “You don’t really understand how this works” Mace/Gideon, immediately: “I know exactly how this works”

This desert is getting eerily intense

I love how they’re showing Torbek gaining control of the Witchlight and the Other

“Together, as a unit, as you do everything, you decide to tackle this next obstacle” ACK MY HEART I FUCKING LOVE FOUND FAMILY SHIT THIS IS SO GOOD

How are y’all interpreting Gricko’s monstrosity connection? Bc I’ve been doing it as like a really enthusiastic zoologist but what if he’s also a monsterfucker

Sorry that was a little unhinged and sudden but I think i might be right he does have a thing for monstrous women who could decimate him with one move

Anyways!

Love how Frost always wants to talk first but Gideon is immediately “IM GONNA GETCHU”

Gideon is going to oneshot this tricobra/cobydra if he keeps this up

“Two attacks on Frost” “no thankyou ❤️”

OH SHIT KREMY’S DICE MOVE HUNGER OF HADAR. HOLY FUCK.

Rich is so good at flavoring this spell and its effects

Mace/Gideon “Don’t roll max against me” and then Rich doesn’t— that’s Kremy employing Husband Privilege right there

What is the realm they are talking about?? Ghettei? Gehettei? Whatever realm they say Kremy is bringing with Hunger of Hadar

Goddamn that’s a lot of damage at once

Torbek and Gideon and Hootsie bro moment 😎

“Torbek accidentally Longscarfed him” 😭❤️

WHAT IS THIS FUCKING LIGHT?????????

Love how Nikkie just keeps repeating the generic desert description like an NPC in a game when you try to talk to them too much

HOLY SHIT okay 1. The immersion hell yeah 2. Why. Why is there a swamp here again. The swamp was supposed to be gone. There wasn’t supposed to be more swamp.

SERIOUSLY WHY IS THERE A SWAMP

“Blow on my dice” there is no heterosexual explanation for this

Now I have this horrible image in my head of Kremy pulling an Entrapta and going “I just need a little more time”

GRICKO DONT CALL TO MR GARU

“I am the thing that remains when the alphabet is gone” this is giving me such a good idea for a Tower of Babel campaign wait a minute

Ah yes just like the 1999 classic film The Mummy—- *I am forcibly removed from the stage*

It IS TIME!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY FUCK HES RIGHT

Is. Is the swoose sounding like Bavlorna on purpose. Is this a plot thing. Please this is so important—- Bc there’s an hourglass on the archway, so it has to be time and also maybe the voice is important— Oh. Okay. So not like Bavlorna.

What is the realization Andy is having???? Oh my god I need to know

Does the fact that this is Nekhbet and the lion-headed guardian mean Egyptian mythology at all influences this part of the story? And maybe the Hourglass Coven in some sort of way if this temple is here? Was this temple originally of the Hourglass Coven, or was it taken over???

The emotion in Mace’s storytelling is incredible and then he has a your mom joke. Alright.

Andy and Mikey’s reactions are beautiful things to watch

“We’ve been free ever since”

Fic idea: Kremy and Gideon get married and uh. Yknow Gricko’s entire thing about getting Pa Coal to come to one of Gideon’s weddings? Somehow that happens but it’s a really sad moment bc Pa Coal is dead so it’s an urn and Gideon gets to have a moment just talking to the urn

OH SHIT THE BIRTH OF THE HAGS?!?!??? Wait wait wait I have so many questions— to be made into a hag, do they need to find this temple first?? Does this temple somehow lead to the hag hut??? What is the thing that drinks the brew in the hag hut?????? How did that being come to exist???????? How is this temple connected to the thing that makes the hags???????? Is this a temple of time or of memories and records????

What is the process of making a hag??? Do all hags come about via this process????

Wait a minute. We had a white horse and rider statue, now we have a red one— if the next one is black then these are the riders of Baba Yaga and maybe that is who makes all the hags— like a sort of Mother Hag situation??

Frost is right, I think, this is also a story or situation or whatever about choice (esp bc of the swoose at the entrance)

I need a series which is just Gricko explaining everything that’s happened in the campaign in extreme detail

“We hit rock bottom and we picked up shoooveeeelllls.”

Ayo Bavlorna what the fuck— Endolyn’s story was terrible but this is another level

So these hags are not actually sisters then? Or are they sisters because they all come from the same source? (Whatever makes the hags)

Yuuuup I was right about the riders!!!!!

Idk why but Kremy’s story hits for me

Nikkie this is so impressive. Holy shit— this isn’t in the module. She wrote these backstories herself. Wow.

And the flipped time order of everything!!! And the Granny Nightshade symbolism

Wait blue roses??? Like the ones in Twig’s eyes???????

WHAT IF THIS IS THE KINGDOM OF HEARTS DESIRE WHAT IF THEY ARE AT THE DOOR RN

Andy what are you doing

Oh shit. Next is the fabled Episode 46. Ohhhh lord. What’s gonna happen………

How much time has passed for the Feywild while they’re in the material plane???

Gahhhh!!!! The lore!!!!!!!!!!!! So good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait okay there’s a connection to Prime but I haven’t watched Prime and it’s 91 episodes there’s no way I can watch all that rn but I NEED TO KNOW THE AVANTRIS LORE AND WHAT THE CONNECTION IS OMFG

So much happened!!!!! Holy fuck!!!!!!!!! And next is Episode 46 I’m gonna have my brain explode

[fairytypingg]

fuck it we're doing this

RAGEON HCS!!!!!

Velvet;

19

leo(i think thats what i am, idk a lot abt astrology)

7 minutes older and takes it way too seriously

overplans for everything

screams cries crumbles if she doesn't have 100% control over any situation

plays a lot into appearances but is actually a chronic workaholic(gets it from her uncle)

she and veneer were raaised by their uncle actually!!

velvet has a love hate relationship with the music industry, before and after the events of the movie

TRUST. ISSUES.

cannot ever talk about her feelings she'll explode

bottles everything up like im so serious

"i'll keep all my emotions right here. and then one day, i'll die."

she vents frustration by talking mad shit in cs:go lobbies

she's really good at the game

scary good aim because of it, and that DOES transfer to real life

has 97 mental illnesses and is banned from most public spaces/ref

"i inhereted severe generational trauma and all i got was borderline personality disorder"

someone help her

she needs therapy

also autistic <3

Veneer;

19

also a leo

7 minutes younger but only remembers bcs velvet will not let him forget

he seems chill in comparison because velvet is so high strung but he is the most dramatic bitch ever

says really out of pocket shit without thinking

"yeah that's why your parents dont call you then haha- what why are you looking at me like that what did i say"

he's the epitome of unmedicated adhd

probably needs glasses

the only one of the twins with a drivers license

was very outgoing growing up because velvet hated talking to people, so someone had to do it

doesn't rly understand velvet being depressed and thinks shes a drama queen like him

"im tragically doomed by the narrative" "drink water dumbass"

hes morosexual

"if a man can locate mount rageous on a map that man is not my type"

dumb fucking ass

love him, hes just kinda stupid.

Kid Ritz:

20

idk any other zodiac signs use ur imagination

every personality disorder you can think of

emotional manipulation is a sport and he is bringing home the gold

whats wrong with him

the answer is mommy issues. and rampant childhood neglect. also when you're raised as rich as he was you're gonna come out weird

struggled to understand the concept of lying as a child so when be finally got it he retaliated by lying for sport and then never stopped doing that

prefers machines to people

hes one of those "there is a minimum iq requirement to talk to me" guys

not just a talk show host!!

he's well trained to take over his father's political position when the old man retires

current director of public security

he's known as a purveyor of gossip for a reason

the saying goes that nothing happens in the city without his knowledge

hyperintelligent

like genius iq, reading at a college level by age 5, etc

actual child prodigy in every conceivable way

notorious for being "perfect"

he's the face of Ritzworth Media Corp for a reason

evil genius

also lonely

his father is grossly neglectful and his mother is a deadbeat

did i mention he has mommy issues

never met his mom and has devoted a lot of his energy to forming an intelligence network dedicated to finding her

hates people

like very antisocial

struggles HEAVILY with empathy

his interviews are notoriously difficult since he entertains himself by making his interviewees squirm

casual sadist in every conceivable way

What's Wrong With Him/aff

Orchid;

18

use ur imagination again im not gonna look it up

rebelling against common characterization here stay with me

secretive about her past but obviously hiding something

a chameleon type of person, can change her behavior, mannerisms, and even accent at the drop of a hat

carries a deep grief with her

distrusting and calculating

she'll "befriend" you but it takes a lot of effort to actually gain her trust

she WILL discard you if she's even slightly suspicious

nobody is sure what her goal is, but she has an agenda

orchid might not be her real name either

very mysterious

generally presents as kind and friendly but it's noticibly fake

cannot stress how much she is hiding something

capable of murder and not afraid to resort to such to protect her secret

dont look in her closet

she has participated in her fair share of underage drinking and can hold her liquor pretty well, but if you manage to get her drunk enough you may be able to pry some answers out of her

has a distaste for celebrities she doesn't see as beneficial to know

gives like. really good advice

identity issues <3

the song Phony is perfect for her

she moves as if she's used to her hair being longer than it is

what is she hiding?

[loving-n0t-heyting]

Hi! So, seeing you in my notes reminded me that I meant to ask you about that Instrumentality poll. Being as I am tumblr user 人類補完計画, I have, asyoumightimagine, a lot of interest in the topic, and I'd be very curious to hear *your* thoughts on Shinji's choice - in part because you mentioned in the tags that you were wondering whether your take aligned with the consensus view, but also because I feel like you're among the most distinctive & intellectually honest philosophical voices I've encountered on here, and I do wonder how your faith, along with your overall view on things, influences your take(s) re:EoE.

I was going to wait until the poll finally closed but i think its been plateauing for a couple of days now anyway so i might as well. This is all going to be pretty vague and mysticism-y ofc, especially given the vagueness and mysticism of the source material itself, and im going off of memory on top of that (i am not putting myself thru the emotional hurdle of rewatching EoE just for a post, sorry)

So, first off, my interpretation of shinjis ultimate choice is to reject instrumentality for all of humanity, to retain our ATFs and our individuality. And i lean towards thinking this was a mistake, on his part. I sometimes see ppl suggest that he offered everyone a choice to either join or refuse instrumentality, but i tend to think this is just projection; idr anything in the text to clearly support this

Im not really sure how to go about arguing for this position directly, beyond rebutting objections. To the extent we are given a clear explanation of what an ATF is, it is smth like the secrecy of our own thoughts and desires and personality; ie, others ignorance of those things. Ignorance is a terrible thing, just generally, in itself! Like impotence. Its terrible in proportion to the importance/value of the things one is ignorant of, and ppl are about the most valuable things there are. Thats much of whats so bad about death, which is why it makes perfect sense the dead get to join in HI as well. So, putting it all together, the presence of ATFs is a terrible imposition, and their removal thru HI is a great blessing, maybe even the greatest possible blessing. And this shows itself in the end of strife and discord and the beginning of real unity of spirit and will, but its already present in the mere dissolution of interpersonal ignorance

The narrative itself frames this as an erasure of individuality, but im not sure how to understand this. Is the idea supposed to be that we would not survive the loss of our ATFs? Im not sure thats even intelligible: the loss of our ATFs is just the lifting of certain kinds of ignorance or, in other words, the instilling of certain kinds of knowledge. Knowledge in whom? In those undergoing human instrumentality. So clearly we survive HI, if it involves us coming into knowledge, and thus being around to know these things. Is this supposed to mean our distinctive contributions to the diversity of human experience etc would all be destroyed in favour of some uniform replacement? I dont see why that would be necessary; we can certainly imagine ways ppls varying idiosyncratic quirks can all "make it into" some sufficiently rich collaborative work. Why should HI not be the same? I suppose the fact it involves everyones bodies into a homogeneous sea of yellow goop speaks against this, but my inclination is to read this as a sort of pupal stage from which a mature instrumentalised humanity can emerge. Tho thats admittedly a bit of a reach

Theres yet another negative interpretation of the "destruction of individuality" i sometimes hear: that it would somehow rob us each of our agency and ability to shape the world in accord with our desires and beliefs. This goes along with a worry that the inauguration of HI would necessarily be a violation of consent and mental autonomy, which strikes me as misguided for much the same reason. Our ignorance of one another is not an individual condition of oneself in particular one can opt in or out of irrespective of the choices of others; if my not being able to retsin my ATF is a violation of my "autonomy", why is my retaining my ATF not in turn a violation of the autonomy of the others being thereby kept ignorant of my deepest self? Mutual ignorance of one anothers mental states (including that very ignorance) is in no interesting way reducible to the ignorant subjects each having certain "individual" or "intrinsic" or "internal" states that can individually and unilaterally be shifted without affecting those of the others; it is an "external" relation. So thinking about HI in terms of individual, unilaterally revocable consent is confused; the fact it is changing is irreducibly collective, and thus consent to it and only be given or refused collectively if at all. Hopefully thats not too opaque

This reply feeds into my answer to the worry about the dilution of ones agency and control over the world. This objection makes sense against a background view on which, for an agent A to control the answer to a question Q and a distinct agent A* to control the answer to a question Q*, Q and Q* must be modally independent: any answer to the latter must be compossible with any answer to the former. Or that, if this isnt true, this is bc As control over Q or A*s over Q* must be only "limited" or "partial" or w/e. My rejection of this assumption (which is i think what lies behind the last objection about autonomy) is probably my deepest, most abstract anti-liberal commitment. Its a conception of control or freedom that i think ultimately requires a debilitatingly narrow view of what full freedom could look like, or of what facts can amount to states of a person. (For example, i think it prolly requires you to say that knowing that the sun rises, a property entailing the "external" fact that the sun rises, is not actually a state of a person, in some important sense, rather than smth like a conjunction of a state of a person and a state of the horizon/sun.) But going all the way into this would probably take a lengthy book; mb i will try to work it out slightly more precisely at some point tho

You asked how my feeling about EoE connect with my faith, and broader view of the world. This illiberal assumption is close to the heart of it. I am always tempted in this context to quote marxs comments in the 1848 manuscripts about the whole of nature being the "inorganic body of man", and i dont think im alone in seeing connections between those passages and remarks like pauls about the mystical body of the church ("So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another." Now there is smth for mereologists to chew on!!) And this is a trend you see elsewhere in the Christian tradition, like dantes description of the celestial eagle in paradiso xviii-xx. I was surprised, when talking to an atheist friend about my tentative support for HI, that they said my christianity made sense of my disagreement with them about this point; not bc i dont think theres a connection but bc idt of these emphases on the unity of the mystical body as particularly prominent in outsiders impressions of Christian belief

Anyway, hopefully that was at least somewhat illuminating. Thx for the kind words ^^

[nalyra-dreaming]

hello, i apologize if this question has alreaby been asked. i usually dont lurk into fandoms because i fail at navigating them, i just stick with interviews and bts, but for this adaptation i needed to peek a second to ask this. my understanding of vampire chronicles is that from start to finish its a huge messy romantic polycule, i never felt the need or even tried to pick couples because instead i loved to see how these romantic dynamics differ while being equally important and therefore show us the layers of these characters. even the supposed wedding still doesnt make me feel that they all wont still be a polycule in the full sense till the end. but here comes the confusion about the adaptation. from the interviews and the show itself i dont understand if i have to forget the polyamory that we have in the books or not. rolin (and cast too) i understood wants to be loyal to the material and anne but also big changes have been made and will be made. if they want to get rid of the polyamorous nature of these vampires would be a real pity, a lot of richness of this story would be lost i think. this is what im sensing.

Hmmm.

So... it's not as if the vampires are all living in a poly-happy-relationship-knot in the books?

I know that it may come across as that, maybe, especially through fanfiction, I guess, but... in the books a lot of them live at Lestat's court (only) when the chronicles leave them.

And of those a lot of them love others of them. A lot of them hate others, too.

Living together does not necessarily equate romantic polycule. There are established pairings. Lestat & Louis, Armand & Daniel. Sevraine & Gabrielle. Seth & Fareed. And so on.

There surely are... lets say "excursions", and I wouldn't exactly say that with the show canon of sex added to the mix that there wouldn't be wild orgies... but... I wouldn't call it a "romantic polycule" per se. Or polyamory in the sense you seem to mean it.

The emotions are a complicated beast, and though there are interesting speeches wrt Armand and Lestat (for example) in the last book these are an expression of pain because of Louis (at that particular event).

I mean, these vampires have eternity, and the capacity to love more than one person. But it does not mean that (for example) Louis and Lestat live with Daniel and Armand then. That is not the case. Or Marius and Armand and Daniel. Though he was with Daniel for a while that is not the case either. You know?

It is complicated. And it does transcend typical human relationship standards.

But they're not "a huge messy romantic polycule" from start to finish, it is more an ever-shifting mess of relationships. An up and down, would be more appropriate to describe it, maybe.

As such I believe Rolin has built the show on two f the most solid ones there. Loustand and DM are endgame relationships. Which does not mean that they won't love others, too, but "love" and "in love" are different things. Lestat loves his mother, and will love her... but he doesn't live in a relationship with her later on, she is with Sevraine. Louis certainly feels some kind of love for Armand, but he doesn't continue to live with him, he leaves and chooses Lestat. Daniel chooses Armand again. Lestat loves his architect enough to bring him over, but Alain is not added to the relationship he has with Louis. There are vampires who support them, share blood with them, but they are not in a romantic relationship. And so on.

The court (in the later books, it is very different in the first ones?!) is the implementation of finally accepting themselves and what they are... and to live as such, with each other. But that does not mean that they're all romantically involved.

We'll see what the show does with it, but personally I did not expect them to go "messy romantic polycule"... what I do expect them to do is not shy away from the messy interconnections that exist because of history... and they don't.

I mean... Louis and Armand having shared a boyfriend is true (well, if you believe Armand^^) - but it's apart by a hundred years.

[re-bee-key]

I feel so desperate and frantic. I love Willow so much. And what if it doesn't get renewed? What if the story is left unfinished?

I keep trying to think of ways to get people to watch it. Even just to try it out. Just one episode.

But no one seems to want to! And like, why? On tumblr of all places, is it not doing better?

I understand why dudebros dont like it. Its a story written for women about female empowerment and has lesbians and men who are in touch with their emotions.

But tumblr? Why? Cause it has some bad reviews? Cause it dared to be different? Having modern music and humor in a fantasy setting?

Someone said its cause tumblr sapphics dont trust anymore. And like I get it. But Disney isnt Netflix. I mean... like I know they are bad in a lot of ways.

But! The fact that they made a show with a canon disney princess and the sapphic romance being the main one is Amazing! And the fact that all 3 main romances are interracial is also something amazing! Like!

Please. Im begging at this point.

The Willow series is so good. I promise. It has amazing sets, filmed on location, high-quality costumes, a salamander animatronic puppet, deep rich lore with ties to mythology, and one of the prettiest soundtracks Ive ever heard.

Please please give Willow a chance. Especially if you already have a Disney+ account.

Like any show, it needs views to convince Disney to continue. The show is set up for 3 seasons, so its not asking a lot. If it doesnt get the views itll be canceled.

I know its not popular or trending or have thousands of pretty fanart to look at. But it could. If you gave it a chance.

Think of your favorite show. And how youd feel if it was cancelled. Or if it was already canceled. Then you know how I feel.

So please. Im being super cringey, I know. But Im begging, please watch Willow.

[takeurexam]

dynasty || VI

genre:

non idol au, time travel, romance, rivals to allies to friends to lovers, crown prince to emperor taehyun, reader gets appointed as an concubine

pairing(s):

taehyun x reader

(warning, this does not reflect the REAL idols personality, and no smut will be written to respect the idol, and i am not comfortable as well, and the taehyun in this ff is not the actual taehyun)

story:

in which you, an excellent law student about to graduate collage suddenly gets dragged into the past, meeting the famous-fawned over emperor of the kang's dynansty. but you getting dragged into this mess was beyond a mystery, and it seems like you have something deep to discover. meddling with the past is a risky decision after all.

dynasty masterlist

6. Independent

Today was the day you were set to leave the royal camp. You've finished everything you needed to do so far so you dont have anything to keep you from leaving anymore. Well, this morning, you were a little earlier than the others. It was quiet as a fresh wave of air hits you as you sigh in satisfaction. You drop your bags to the ground to admire the fresh air hitting you and the spectacular view.

It was nice to breathe some fresh air in the morning. It means that the tomorrow you desired yesterday has come- and you have to go through it to survive and see another tomorrow.

"Are you this enthusiastic to leave the imperial crown prince?" The prince himself chuckles beside you as you step away as you jolt from the unannounced prescence. "Wow. I guess reminding someone you're there dosent exist for you." He chuckles at your bickering as you both stare into the sun.

"As the sun rises, a new day awaits. I will become the inventor of new stuff and become rich and famous in this time. My supposed destiny! I will change the rules of the court!" You bawl as Taehyun looks at you a little concerned. "Okay, straight to the point." You clear your throat.

"When are you going to become the Emperor?" You glance over at the emperor-to-be as he looks at the ground with a blank face. "Once my father dies. It feels a little.."

"Terrifying?" You continue his sentence. "Well, if anything, you're leading a lot of people. Different minds after all." He laughs at your answer, "It truly is." You were right, he was terrified- because once he becomes emperor of the dynasty, It feels like giving out every once of freedom you have left to the palace and dedicating your whole life to be either controled or to be looked up on.

Your glance switches over to him as he stood there looking at the sun. If you were not to know his situation- you would assume he was fine and just admiring the view. In reality, he has a thousand thoughts running over his mind. A battle between the positive thoughts and the negative thoughts consume his mind. The emotion on his face dosent truly show what is going on inside his mind.

"Well, Taehyun." He snaps out of his thoughts as he hears you mention him, "Be independent. The palace isn't a safe place from what i've heard, but what you can do is trust in yourself more than anyone. Anything can happen inside those gates- and the only person you can trust and rely on is yourself." You were never one to be a comforting person, yet you felt the need to give him the consolation he might need.

"Im giving you advice because this empire or dynasty you're leading is in shambles and in the hands of corruption, and maybe, just maybe you can be different and fix it." You felt yourself grin at your words as Taehyun just stands there understanding every word.

The Crown Prince smiles as he finds a profound sense of contentment in your words.

"Oh! Its Beomgyu!" You see a horse nearby the entrance with a familliar figure riding it, "Well, Your Imperial Highness." You try not to snicker, which obviously fails as you speak, "Be independent. Maybe we'll cross paths when you're emperor now. And if I become rich, I might visit you." He laughs, "How comforting then."

"See you!" You run over to the General as Taehyun watches you slip away from him. He feels a sense of familiarity grow inside him making him chuckle and shake his head.

Of course, you dont forget to wave goodbye to Taehyun once you arrive beside Beomgyu. Confused, he copies your actions without fully understanding what it was for.

He just wishes, he finds you once he is the Emperor of the dynasty.

"Uhm." You chuckle nervously as you stare up at the horse and the man sitting on it, "Big issue." You feel a wave of embarassment wash over you, "I have never tried to ride on a horse." The General looks a little suprised that someone like you- adventurous, not to know how to ride a horse.

Beomgyu goes down from his horse as he sighs, "First, step on this." He points towards a thing on the saddle, you follow his instructions and step on it, "Now, lift yourself up and sit down on it." What?

"How?" You look at him with a groan as you embarass yourself infront of a General who is basically a pro in riding a horse. "Okay, just lift yourself up, and sit on the horse but facing me." You understand a little as you manage to sit down on the horse.

After, you manage to sit on the horse properly as you clap for yourself as General Beomgyu looks at you a little concerned. He rides the horse too as you both get ready to set off to Soobin's camp.

"Hyah!" Beomgyu and you set off with the horse into the forest. The beautiful morning sunrise is clear on the sky as the fresh cold air flows along with the two of you on your journey.

"General." You wanted to strike a conversation because you were a little bored, "Can we make a pinky promise?"

"What is that?" You couldn't see his face but you can only assume he looked puzzled as you laugh, "A contract or deal or something."

Beomgyu replies, "What pinky promise would you like to make with me?" He adjusted to your weird wording, "There we go! Okay so, we put our pinkies together, and we make a contract and never break it."

The General slows down the horse as you put out your pinky finger, "Put yours out too." He does exactly what you instruct and puts his finger out too.

"Promise me to never leave the Crown Prince's side." He was suprised at your sudden declaration, "What?" He suddenly turned to you, as he comepletely stopped the horse from moving. You were looking at him with a complete genuine care in your eyes, "He's pathetic enough for this world- but I cant be successful when the palace is corrupt, right? So be with him and make sure he becomes independent once he is emperor."

The way you look makes Beomgyu think about it. He would do the 'promise' you mentioned to him yet he only thought about your reaction- why were you asking him to stand by the crown prince?

"Yes. I cant get out of this dynasty and I need to get rich! Taehyun is my key to wealth and I need him to be the secured emperor so I can be rich and flex about me knowing the emperor personally." You hide the grin about to eat your face as Beomgyu seemed a little suprise.

He looks at you and his hand before entagling your pinky fingers together, "I promise." He murmurs as you finally let out that smirk you've been resisting, "Wealth, here I come!"

The General starts to move the horse once again as you daydream about your future if you dont get back in your original time, your wealth increasing and inventing some non existing rules in the dynasty and be famous and become a lawyer and- okay. You should stop.

Finally, you both arrive at the same camp where you first found yourself in this dynasty in. Hobak stands there with Soobin, and once Hobak notices you, he jumps around excitedly as Soobin just smiles.

"Hobak!" You engulf him into a suffocating hug as he hugs you back, "I missed you brother." You sob out as he dramatically cries as the two men with you two just looks at you baffled.

General Beomgyu then clears his throat, "I'll take my leave then." He glances over at Soobin as he returns the General's look before nodding at each other. He looks at you sobbing with Hobak as he walks over to his horse and galloping away.

"Spill every single cup of tea you've collected!" Hobak shakes your shoulder as you both squeal, with Soobin sighing.

"You know, im delighted to see you safe and sound. We didn't hear from you when you went out to gather herbs and the next thing we know is a letter is sent to us indicating you were with the Crown Prince." Soobin chuckles as you nod.

The three of you sit down on the fresh grass as the late night sky flows along with the bright half moon, with the light of the campfire providing light around your small bonfire as you three sat down in peace.

"I even heard, that someone was seeing the Crown Prince! And it was you! Everyone went berserk on Daedo yesterday." Hobak says in a melodramatic tone. "Her Grace went insane once she heard Prince Taehyun was seeing another woman!"

"Is it the concubine that walked in on his tent?" You ask, remembering the woman who threw a fit from the rumours. "Uh huh, Concubine Yang."

"But aren't concubines for the emperor?" Soobin tilts his head, quite confused. Hobak rolls his eyes at the two of you with arrogance as you and Soobin await for an answer.

"Well, from the rumours I hear, Concubine Yang and His Imperial Highness were close friends since they were young. Concubine Yang's father was a part of the infamous Cheol family, and the Kang's and Cheol's are sworn enemies." Hobak explains as if he was in broadway.

Hobak then continues, "Concubine Yang was appointed to be a concubine for more power from the Cheol family, but she had fallen for the Crown Prince." He dramatically sings out.

"Does the Crown Prince like her back?" You question.

"Sadly, I dont know about that. All I know him and the concubine are against the Cheol family." Hobak whispers.

It was a next level melodrama. Its something you would find in television, and it was quite entertaning yet confusing.

"Well, lets cut out the gossip. Tomorrow we'll be leaving Daedo and set over to the nearby town near the empire." Soobin stands up.

"We're leaving? Wow, I just return and-" Soobin cuts you off by pulling your ear as you whine, "Hey! Choi Soobin!" He laughs, "Im tired of your nagging. Get some rest." You caress your aching ear as you three walk over to your own tents to get some rest.

The sound of the horses galloping circulated along with your thoughts as you hum to a song while the three of you- Soobin, Hobak and you venture into the new town you were settling in for a while. Soobin mentioned it was a tradition between him and Hobak to venture around for a while then return to Daedo for their job. You didn't fully understand their job but you can register a part of it.

Hobak bickering with Soobin this early in the morning was not your vibe today. You felt a little lost as you relapse on some moments from the present.

"Hey, someones being a little killjoy. You're just excited! Theres a lot of good food and amazing places to explore there." Hobak sneers at you as you snicker at him, "You and Soobin have been bickering for almost hours! So let me have my peace." You roll your eyes.

"She definetely needs some rice soup." Soobin giggles as Hobak nods eagerly, "Our first stop- rice soup! Its amazing. Call me a peasent for eating that, I dont care! Its just too good." He then goes on to ramble about how good rice soup was and how life changing it is.

"Hobak is such a bummer."

You three arrive at the towns gate as you set down your horses and roam around, "Rice soup?" Soobin asks as Hobak nods, with Soobin waiting for your response.

"Im in! Lets see what the hype is about." The three of you walk over to the place where they sold the famous rice soup Hobak was craving all day just talking about it.

Once you three get your bowls, Hobak dosent hesitate to dig in as Soobin just sighs at him as he dosent stop himself from taking a sip himself. You loom at the bowl before digging in.

You feel yourself get hit by the beautiful flavors- the refereshing delicious beef broth and the soft rice dipped into the broth was a match made in heaven- with the small beef pieces melting into your mouth with some vegetables to refreshen your taste buds was everything you asked for.

You swear, you almost faint on how good it was. "I told you, its a dish made by the hands from heaven." Hobak exaggerates as Soobin nods, processing the mixed flavours combining into their mouths.

"I almost died." You dramatically put your hands over to your forehead, almost crying out of joy. Soobin just laughs it out with Hobak being the same as you.

As you three were enjoying the broth, you overhear some people behind you gossip.

"Hey, have you heard! The Emperor is so stupid! We might even all perish before he even does. The empire is almost experiancing famine and he's just hanging out with multiple women!" One old man rants out, sounding like a drunk man.

"I heard that he got ill. The Crown Prince better be up to our expectatons. If hes another replica of his father, I might even rather die than to live another day in this country!" One younger man cries out. Their other companions agree as they all blurt out their opinions about the country and the emperor.

The three of you stare at the multiple men, before you return your gaze at the two, "Is the emperor.. that bad?" You whisper.

"I think so." Soobin finishes sipping on his soup, "We are almost experiancing a famine after all. Those people arent necessarily wrong." You nod at Soobin's answer as you stare down into your bowl.

"Is the emperor this bad? Just how am I going to meddle into the past with this kind of situation? I mean- I would love to be the hero, but it seems that this country is already broken." You blurt out in your thoughts as you remember about your life plan, "And I cant get rich with someone like him the emperor!"

"I just hope, Kang Taehyun fixes his father's mess."

<previous chapter

>next chapter

taglist:

@stormy1408

please comment if you want to be in the taglist <3

[huellitaa]

ྀི ୨ embarrassment ୧ ྀི

...is a social construct designed to make us feel bad by those who cant handle their own mistakes & or shortcomings.

seriously. like. it baffles me how people are still living in the mindset where they let embarrassment become anything more for them than a concept.

୨୧ embarrassment

- a feeling of self-consciousness, shame, or awkwardness.

embarrassment is perfectly normal. it happens to everyone because we all make mistakes. but some people let embarrassment and the fear of embarrassment consume them and the choices they make far too much, far too often.

♡ which leads me onto my first point; it is completely normal. everybody makes mistakes. this is our first time in this life and we are all learning & growing with our every choice, every action, every decision <3 remember that the next time youre panicking and freaking out because you made a mistake.

♡ its never that deep. i like to try be gentle w this stuff but lemme tell u straight no one actually cares . im serious,, like babes no one gives a shit honestly 😭😭 and your mentality should be the same. people remember this stuff n laugh for 5 mins and then theyre back to their life. and if they hang on to it for longer then theyre the one who should be embarrassed.. get a life pls??

♡ similar to what i said a moment ago , its. never. that. deep. laugh it off !!!!! giggle !!!!!! laugh about it !!!!!!!! nobody cares !!!!!! this shows that it doesnt faze you and this shows how confident you are within yourself that you dont let silly little mistakes bother you because they do not matter.

♡ when it comes to your interests, please never be embarrassed about these. this is something ive struggled with since i was little but never never never be embarassed of the things that bring you joy. if they arent hurting anyone and are perfectly okay you should never be embarrassed ab that. it makes you happy. why should you be ashamed of that for someone else???🩷

♡ has someone ever said something to you? made u doubt urself? then you get embarrassed ab it???? dont. do not even go there. i ws so insecure before (i know😭😭) and couldnt hold a single opinion for myself but when you know who tf you are you wont be doubting yourself for anyone ml.

♡ so... you wanna pursue your dreams but ur too embarrassed. ur too embarrassed and worried "what if this doesnt work" "what if it doesnt happen" n whatever other dumb shit ur worried abt and scared to outgrow your surroundings and evolve. wow. you know how silly that sounds? so.. like.. let me get this straight... youre telling me... that youre not doing what you love... for the sake of someone else or some silly little doubts????wow. you get one life n youre doing that. GET IT TOGETHER BABES. GET REAL. WHY WOULD U SABOTAGE URSELF LIKE THAT????? YOURE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT LIKE 😭😭🩷🩷🩷🩷

♡ understand that peoples perceptions of you are often reflections of themselves just like your perceptions of others are often reflections of yourself. they think its embarrassing because they know for a fact deep down that theyd be too embarrassed and self conscious to do it themselves.

♡ and then watch the way they'll all come crawling back apologising and grovelling the moment you're rich and successful and got everything you ever wanted.. all because you had the confidence to trust in yourself and pursue what you wanted without listening to their self doubts. <3

♡ reverse psychology. "why r u doing that" "thats so cringey" why r u so wrapped up in my business? thats so cringey

♡ overall, confidence, strong self concept & trusting in your ability to bounce back from anything are the three main things that will never let you wallow in this silly little emotion again. embarrassment is like a pitiful, more insignificant, ridiculous version of fear. if ur gonna be scared then b scared of something worth ur time babe ur more than that <33

[offorestsongs]

Hihi! For your OC(s):

Which canon character does your OC respect a lot?

Which canon character annoys your OC?

Thank you!

hiiii hello!! thank you for the ask!! :3

im gonna answer these for all of my main boys because why not

Which canon character does your OC respect a lot?

Lysander -> hmmm most of the housewardens probably?? just because he thinks that's a lot of work to do and he himself wouldn't want to have so much responsibility (but also Lysander himself would say that "he respects everyone equally!! why would you go any other way!!" because respect is one of the concepts that are kinda weird to him)

Rosienne -> there's not many peope Rosie really respects but probably Lilia? since they're good friends and Lilia is one of the very few people Rosienne would actually listen to

Kalle -> Azul, but less because of who Azul is as a person and more because of his power/his place in the school hierarchy so to say. they remember Azul from middle school and they think it's kinda impressive how he went from a little bullied baby to somebody who other students actually respect

Eliott -> i'd say Trey, since he always was an older brother figure of sorts for Eliott and he supported Eliott a lot while they were growing up

Swallow -> Riddle!! he really didn't like pre-OB Riddle but he sees that Riddle is really trying to change and improve and he thinks that's really admirable!!

Which canon character annoys your OC?

Lysander -> i dont think there's anyone???? Lysander feels really bad whenever he dislikes people so he tries to feel at least neutral about everyone sjfjdj

Rosienne -> well, besides the fact that he couldn't STAND Vil for most of their freshman year — Cater. they're too similar in certain aspects which is why they can't stand eachother. also, Idia because sad introverts annoy him in general (because he too used to be a sad introvert and he doesn't understand why somebody wouldn't just,, get themselves together and try to change how they act)(despite his unique magic allowing him to literally feel other people's emotions, Rosienne is not a very empathetic person LMAO)

Kalle -> who DOESN'T annoy them is the question. but if they had to choose, it would most probably be Kalim. Kalle can't stand people who are all smiley and sunshiney, they drain their energy lmao

Eliott -> like Lysander, i don't think there's anyone, but that's mostly because he's the king of minding his own business ✌️ he has too many troubles which his home life too care too much about how others act if they aren't his friends already

Swallow -> again, so many people. Leona. Cater. most of Octavinelle. Leona. any other student who's rich and/or a royalty....

[bmpmp3]

sometimes in academic-focused discussions about the concept of celebrity and parasociality and whatever I'll often see people use Miku as a framing device specifically as a hypothetical Perfect Celebrity, a virtual celebrity who can never do wrong and never gets tired, she will always say what you want to hear, etc. etc. and LIKE I UNDERSTAND why people are so engrossed in that idea, it's kind of what Crypton themselves push instead of focusing on software LOL (sorry im a little mean to them... well maybe things will change come august. crypton i am waiting. crypton i am waiting.)

but I feel like focusing so much on that is kind of buying into marketing a little too much? i really dont think that miku, from a media studies/visual culture/art historical standpoint at least, is akin to like a little digital lady gaga we can puppet for our own desires. i think that's missing the forest for the trees. in a visual culture sense, miku is much closer to that of like, a singing mickey mouse with much looser copyright restrictions LOL

the amount of videos ive seen and essays ive read that describe miku as like some kind of pawn that secretive anonymous actors force to speak for them and im like. okay i know this is rich coming from the guy in the miku jacket with the miku bag and cannot go 3 hours without googling a vocal synthesizer just to look at them BUT LIKE. i think we're overhumanizing her in this context like she's just a mascot you guys... its fun to think about some spooky scifi transhumanist concepts with her, but in the end she is a cartoon character representing the vocal equivalent of a piano VST in a DAW that regular people (not secretive anonymous actors with nefarious intentions) use to make their music and art

theres a lot of really interesting discussions on capitalism and all that with her as a framing device but like we neeeeed to focus on the real ass people making songs with her, illustrating her, manufacturing her merch, programming her software, etc. if we're talking about that 'cause like. again i am the person sleeping with the miku blanket with miku keychains attached to everything i own but like. she doesn't have feelings my dear academics. its okay for fans to focus on her emotions thats just what we do but my dear essay writer i found on jstor i need you to understand she is 1s and 0s. she is a mascot character. why are we focusing so much on her personal psychology.............. she doesnt have a braaaaaain..........

AND thats not to diminish the cultural impact of mascots, hell with my aforementioned mickey comparison i think we can realize just how much power a small illustrated character can have - its just i think you cant talk about a mascot the same way you talk about celebrity yknow... i just think theyre a little bit different even with some overlapping aspects and i think mascots need to be taken as they are, rather than pushed into a different media studies narrative. if that makes sense

[neeko-system]

SIGNALIS SPOILERS AND WHATNOT~~

finished my second playthrough of signalis, was going for the artifact ending. then loaded my save and got the memory ending. such a good game aaaa

the memory ending made me cry, it was really heartwrenching when ariane said sorry i dont remember, i just crumpled. watching elster be so exhausted was a lot.

not really sure if i understand the artifact ending. i feel like either its really vague (on top of all the other vagueness) or if im missing something. it kind of feels like a burial of arianes memory? like elster dies and we see ariane thikning about her and elster dancing in the wrecked ship? i’m not sure. maybe someone could give me their interpretation of it?

i also found out that theres a difficulty setting and really wished i had set it to survival before my second playthrough. woulda been nice!!! I do have one more ending so i might play the game again but might also just watch it on youtube and play the game again some other time(gotta let it ruminate so i can go back in with different eyes), I wanna get all the achievements anyways.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

all in all i fucking love this game a lot. very rarely do i replay a game so soon after playing it for the first time. its really tragic i’ll never get to experience this game for the first time again, but, so it goes. its such a beautiful game i will be thinking about it for a longgggggggggggg time. ive been wanting to talk about it so badly for so long but none of my friends have played it yet kyaaa!!! >_<

its crazy to me that the game exists the way it does. the style, the mechanics, the story, the music, everything about it oozes so much passion and care and thought. very few games have made me want to stare at every part of it to figure out how they made it look the way it did (THE GAME IS SO STYLISTICALLY RICH LIKE HOIW DID THEY DO ALL THAT) and the game mechanics are so nice to my brain, everything is so tactile and clicky and inventory management and ammo management and horror stratgey and the flesh and rust and death and love and lesbians and robots and anime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

amazing game thank you rose engine, i hope they make more stuff because i really want to see it

edit:(thinking about the first time i played compared to the second. i was considerably less scared since i had a clue of waht was going on but the fear that i felt playing the first time was special to me. i really like games with stories about ‘time loops’ because the replay-ability is baked in in a cool way. especially with how the game throws information at you, viewing things again having experienced perspective shifts from information is really cool. seeing scenes again re-contextualized makes my brain go ^-^(hots quest ding sound) but going in completely blind and being afraid of everything (i especially remember being scared of the dream beach, i had literally no clue what to expect and it was nice) it all had a different flavor than the second time which is cool because i feel like i experience that kind of emotion change *with* elster. (girlie needs a FUCKING cuddle nap)

the way the game balances reality and the surreal i think is super neat. i love surrealist dream stuff a lot and i think that a video game is a super good medium for that kind of experiential stuff that really inspires me to wanna make video games. especially because then theres also this super nerdy sci fi stuff going on about robots and space regimes and magical tech(my favorite) and planetary systems and military systems and all that good shit. i similarly wanna get nerdy about stuff like military logistics while also telling a story about gay robots and girls that keep missing each other just barely in the space time continuum. i love that the game tells you a lot but also is vague and also says fuck you (affectionate) stop looking for answers and just feel it. it explains just the right amount to not feel esoteric while keeping enough vague to leave a lot up to interpretation/figure it out by playing it again/thinking about it. it plays with themes and reality and reoccuring symbolism and all that good shit that makes stories addicting to think about.) ((also one of the endings requiring beating the game once among other things that keep between playthroughs, yummyyy. games that know they are games/stories/worlds that are aware of themselves., thats good shit right there))

[trollocs-ooc]

yknow that like. disconnect you have with other people who are online where you dont really see them as real human beings because theyre online and you subconsciously kinda only see them as "people in [your] phone" and you have to contsantly remind yourself that these are real people youre talking to and not just NPCs???

yeah. b!eleven to most other trolls

(if you have no idea what im talking about i apologize-)

Its fine i understand if anyone feels like that though I didn't hear abt it before

For b!elevens side of things. I imagine its hard to see other people as equals when you quite literally don't have to in the slightest, at least in private. He gets Little consequences for anything. He cant get beat up cuz most trolls r the size of dolls to him, hes rich so he never has to worry about that or much of anything, he can pay people off to be quiet when he does something to them, and most importantly there's a complete emotional disconnect so he doesn't feel bad about anything at all.

[feastingonfanfiction]

Waiting on the red string of fate

Alt route ending 2 [chapter 3c]

Tanya Denali x fem!reader

Chapter 3c: Sprouting roots, into hearts, arguments, and it's all torn apart

Summary: You have to just let all this bottled up pain out, but some things take a turn for the worst

IMPORTANT NOTE:ending 3C is essentially just an alt ending to the events in 3B, so I started it at the point where Tanya learns that she is infact the cause of the hanahaki, Read 3B (probably the happiest ending) before 3C(the alt angst route) I guess or not(i cant control what you read), but it won't make much sense at the start off point.

A/N: Welcome back. If you've read the other servings of this particular fanfiction i write, this one will be sort of shorter considering I started at a midpoint within 3b. Am I fully satisfied with the end? Nope! But dwelling on it too much will just tear me apart

Anyways, here is your serving of sad.

Bon Appétit and Happy readings!

Check out other parts on the:

Masterlist menu

Or

Part 3b (the actual happy ending)

WARNINGS: THIS IS NOT A HAPPY ENDING, I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A HAPPY ENDING. The usual warnings hanahaki has its own set of warnings(choking on flowers petals, blood etc) character death is here, maybe some gruesome, not quite gorey but not pleasant descriptions

She? Was the cause of your hanahaki? Tanya didn't want to believe it. She was the cause of your pain...

You have to understand she loves you

And she's not saying that just because she knows hanahaki goes away with reciprocated love.

Her face shows hurt to think you could think that. She moves to declare that she does, in fact, love you

But all you can do is laugh at that, not even looking at her, "You love me? You love me?" A chuckle escapes

"Oh, that's rich coming from you, but ok, say I entertain the idea that you actually have feelings for me? What do you expect from me? Hmm? Cause you've already shattered my rose tinted glasses on the idea of love even before we met and I dont know if I can ever really believe you" you say at the absurd idea of giving your heart away fully, believing now that it'll be torn apart if given.

"And - and what about the guy you were with, what about him? What was he to you?"

"He meant nothing to me, he means nothing to me, even now, I-" she tries to say, but you cut her off

"I SAW YOU, I WAS THERE! IT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE NOTHING AND..."

you try to scream, it came out more hoarse than you intended. Part of you just wanted all of this to go away, the other part could feel the waves of sorrow and sensations of betrayal flaring up from the memory of the first time you saw her, your head was spinning as your emotions took over, some parts irrational jealousy some parts despair. The hurt in your chest felt like a jab of pain that you assume was just your emotions.

"...and I can't trust your words." it comes out as a mere whisper, but Tanya heard it, and she could feel her unbeating heartbreaking at it...

"So what was he? If he meant "nothing" to you, does that mean I'll mean nothing to you, too? Heck, you could still be lying to me -"

"BUT IM NOT," she tries to defend herself. She's not lying, but you clearly don't trust her, and she's not sure what she can say to fix this.

"And how do I know that, for all I know you could still be with him" "but-" "NO LET ME SAY WHAT I HAVE TO SAY" you yell at her interruption, rage was building as you gave in to you emotions.

Tanya silences at that thinking maybe you just need to let it all out.

"Am I just a rebound to you? Or some kind of conquest? Heck, you're probably here just to play with my emotions....get to know me, make me love you only to turn around and stomp on my heart again"

"NO! Please listen I-" she intejects abruptly there's no way she can let you think that but you won't have it.

"I don't have to listen to ANYTHING you have to say! I don't even know you! I don't get why you even came here! You don't have to pretend to want to be here, I know your game, so just give up and just leave me alone!"

Tanya tries to figure out what she can say to make you know she's not like that, she does want you, but in her state of contemplation of what to say she misses out on what sounds like some-thing growing inside you and what sounds like something breaking.

Your chest was hurting, like there was something digging into your sternum.

Your head spinning as you gripped your chest as then you feel a jab of pain in your heart. You panic, scared of what it could be, maybe it was just another coughing fit coming along, if it was you didn't want her here to pity...or mock you.

"Just- just get out, leave me alone... you did it for all of my life. I don't see why you should be around for what's left of it," you say weakly.

Those words definitely hurt. Tanya doesn't know what to say besides wanting to just say no, she can't find the words that'll plead her case to you, but then you rush past her not giving her the chance as you stumble quickly into a room and slamming the door shut, locking it.

She turns to look at where you went, hesitant to follow, but deciding to follow and stand outside, she can hear your accelerated heartbeat....the conversation must've added a lot of stress...

You feel flowers growing again when you decided you had to get to the bathroom, your heartbeat way too fast. You didn't know the hanahaki was getting so much worse throughout that conversation...

You didn't know something had happened inside you, how would you have known? you couldn't see inside yourself. You wouldn't have known the roots of the hanahaki had taken a detour going just slightly left. Some had wrapped around your lungs, but where these roots were headed? They had pierced and dug into your sternum and ribs and then slowly found their way to wrap around your heart, squeezing it. Crushing it.

All you could feel in your chest was pain. The edges of your vision was blurring as you tried to get yourself to throw up to stop the pain. Your heart hurt, everything hut as you tried and choked on petals, blood pooling in your mouth,then finally the darkness calls for you as all of it stops as it takes you.

Tanya can't help but fight against breaking down the door versus giving you space. She can't help but worry at your alarming heart rate. Your coughing and breathing is also getting worse, but what makes her want to break off the handle and bust open the door is the sound of something that sounds like breaking and something growing that sounds like it's piercing flesh.

She fights it until something happens, and she suddenly can't take it anymore as she breaks down the door.

What finally made her snap was the fact that everything suddenly stopped, your heart beat, the coughing, everything, and then a thump on the other side.

So here Tanya was, covered in woodchips in a broken doorway to a bathroom. The lighting dim as she sees you there having fallen curled up on your side on the floor littered with bloody petals. Panic grips her as she sees the blood leaking from your mouth and the small pool of blood collecting underneath you. She lifts you into her arms. Your eyes were barely open, but what essence of spirit that lived within those eyes were gone.

Tanya was full-on panicking now. You couldn't die, not now, not before she could clear up this whole misunderstanding. Your body was still warm, but your heart had stopped. Maybe it wasn't too late she hoped as she pulled you close, whispering an apology, and sunk her teeth into your neck. One side then the other, hoping with enough venom it could bring you back. It's got to, she only just found you, you can't leave her yet, not before she has the chance to know you.

She lifts your body out of the bathroom, hopeful that it'll work and brings you to what she thinks is your room.

She's very concerned at the lack of heartbeat, more fearful that it won't work.

She places you on the bed, very worried at the blood that seeped onto her when she carried you. It was all over her arms. She then notices your chest, where your shirt was covering it was stained crimson with blood seeping and spreading pooling into a larger point.

Fear takes her as she hopes if you do wake up that you don't mind, but she slowly unbuttons your shirt to reveal your chest, and directly where the pooling stain on your chest was, there plant roots were sprouting out.

She didnt know how to react, there the hanahaki roots were digging through you, she looks a little to your left, just the area above where your heart should be and there roots also sprouted outwards like plants breaking through the winter snow but here the routes where sprouting out of your paling skin covered in blood.

What does this mean? Was there so much internal damage that the venom might not take hold? Were you.....she dare not say it, but she had to wonder was it too late? Should she have broken the door down when she had the chance?

She couldn't stop the what ifs, she had to know something. Your heart didn't restart, and you weren't breathing, and the roots were protruding from your skin like worms breaking out of the earth.

She then considers calling Carlisle. Perhaps he can help her? Pulling out her cellphone, she calls, wondering where they might be, and surprisingly, they're not too far a drive from where you are. Explaining the situation, Carlisle was kind enough to lend his assistance to see if there's any possibility that you could be saved.

Tanya gently changes you out of your clothes and into something not bloodstained, wrapping a blanket around you and then picking you up bridal style she then makes for the car, driving off in a rush probably breaking the speed limit, she does not care. She has to know if you'll come back to her.

Arriving at the hospital, Carlisle meets her part way outside, taking you from Tanya's arms they move quickly, wanting this to be done under secrecy.

He does a chest x-ray, whilst Tanya waits for this agony to end.

Eventually placed in an unused room, she waits there holding your hand, hoping she wasn't too late

Carlisle comes back eventually with the results of the chest Xray, placing them up on a box along a wall that lights up the image better. What Tanya sees scares her.

There was your ribcage, your heart, your lungs.

But the roots, the roots, and stems were prominently entwined between the spaces of your ribcage. Your sternum was fractured from the roots digging into multiple places. Your lungs were completely wrapped around by the roots and your heart.....your heart was fully wrapped by the roots in a crushing manner

Squeezed in the middle, as well as areas along your heart that seemed to display what happened to your chest, roots bursting out from your heart....

Carlisle looks over to Tanya with pity, "I'm not certain but with the extent of damage I don't think.....I'm sorry Tanya but I don't think that the venom will be able to save her...."

If Tanya could cry, she would have done so long ago, she wished she could, but all she felt was the vampire venom pooling in her eyes.

Tanya takes you back home after that, back to your home. Placing you on the bed, she stays by your side, uncertain what to do now....you might likely be truly gone....

Part of her wants to hope that she wasn't too late, but the X-ray was some damning evidence. Giving it one last shot, she decides to wait for the supposed day you would've woken up if you are turned, she can't lose hope, she just can't...

Leaving you in your room, she goes about cleaning your slightly dusty home, cleaning up the bathroom, and the door she broke. She basks in the feeling that this home was yours. Eventually, she stumbles across the shoe box, your soulmate letters still inside with the last one you wrote on top.

Going from the state of the letters, she reads through them to learn about who you were, wanting to cry at the type of person she accidentally hurt. She felt a little worse at the letter you wrote about the night you saw her, something clearly broke in you that day. Within the next letter, though, it was like something changed, and you accepted your fate, thinking she would never come find you.

By the final letter, it didn't seem like you hated her. It felt more like you were giving up and accepting the hanahaki...

She felt hopeful at the tone of the letter, hopeful maybe that you would wake up and it'll all be OK. You would wake up, and you two would be able to work through this.

The final day of when you were supposed to awake arrived, and she waited 24 hours

But once that time passed, something in her dimmed, she then waited a little more... you can't be gone, but still as time passed more parts of her hope broke off as part of her broke too, as your beautiful eyes she only looked into the first time a few days before would not open and look at her, and then finally the last embers of hope smothered out.

You were truly gone...

You were gone, and she was left alone deemed by the fates to live this life alone.

[tarotenchantress]

Hey, I absolutely love your posts. I appreciate the amount of time that you take to actually make everything specific whilst having it easy to understand; I really do feel like you have this natural ability for writing about astrology 😊

I hope you’ll be able answer my question; I really do feel the struggle of having a Cancer Moon (8h)…was just wondering what I should know about this placement?

I thank you so much for taking the time to read my message; beyond grateful 🩶

Hello astronote♡ im so sorry for reply so late🙏🤍 thankyou so much for such kind words thankyou so muchh🙏💗 it means alot to me💗🙏

By- tarotenchatress🧚🏻‍♀️

For @astronotecollectingxo

Here are the struggles of having cancer moon in 8th house according to me:-

Moon is an emotional planet. Cancer in moon makes you a motherly and emoathetic person whilst 8th house is a house of secrets, taboo, death, power and sex or sexual acts

This placement may mean that your mother could have been a bit controlling, you could an intense [not necessarily bad] relstion with your mother. You could depend on her for validation and not to make it dark but it may indicate at times that you were abused by a female figure[most case mother] or may view her as someone who could have been obsessive and emotionally extremely manipulative. 8th house is also a house of resources. Now this may manifest in 2 ways. One could be that your mother or maternal side could have been rich or your mother was dependant for resources or could be dependant on you for resources. Your mother could have been of secretive nature. The abuse part could have mostly been emotional. Like you may feel as if she may gaslight you or manipulate you at times.

Cancer moon in 8th house also indicates a very deep desire for emotional closeness during sex. You may feel uncomfortable having sexual encounters with people who are not emotionally arousing you. As all of this is water energy. You may be someone who could feel drawn towards alot of "wetness"???? Idk why i feel that way and it may not even make sense but yes. There could be this deep daddy issue too. Wanting to be babied or a mommy energy of mothering someone. This placement tbh indicates both. You may look towards older men for their emotional stability or material stability and hoe they make you feel like a baby and take care of you in all ways or you may attract younger men or feel the need to nurture anyone who needs it. Cancer is as it is governed by moon which makes it at home but 8th house makes you a secretive person who has kearnt alot from mother. You too, may struggle with emotional intensity. It may feel like a roller coaster. Moody at core and stubborn too. If you feel sad then you will feel sad. You may also hate being told how you feel and may purposely stay stuck on an emotion to show rebellion. Anger issues which are suppressed are also seen in this placement. Passive aggressive and may become physicallt aggressive too. Crying, screaming cussing, considering about auring someone's business, betraying, sneaky behaviour can be considered too. You may also pinch alot when in a physical altercation. Again idk why i said that but i did. May manipulate the story too. Tendency to victimise yourself and feel pity for your self. Also a damsel in distress approach. Women may be sneaky with you or you may be. Feminine figures may betray you or try to push you away. Another issue with this placement is that if you dont work on your emotions which is deep and alot of work, you may attract people who are extemely manipulative and use your emotions for their benefit. Selfish people who may abuse you emotionally. They may be extremely shitty at taking accountability and may gaslight or abuse your memory. This is a very intuitive placement but also one which may make you full of suspicions, paranoia and doubt. Work on your overthinking else it may affect your ability to percieve messages and your intuition. You may be grudgy as well but not in terms of how they acted or what they said but about how they made you FEEL. You may be very imaginative too and may imagine alot about sex as well and prefer to stay in tour imaginative world. Your boobs could be an arousal point for you or people may admire your boobs or become obsessed or sexualise your boobs alot. Women nay also be asource of power for you. Deep rooted interest in occult can also be seen here and you may also earn your resources from women. Also a deep love for sweets or having a sweet tooth

Youre very powerful and capable of alot. Do not let others mess with you love.💗

[notahorseindisguise]

laughing crying throwing up over your live blogging of American psycho holy shit 😭 I have to call Patrick Patty from now on that's. Classic. Also yeah that movie is truly unhinged. The prevailing theory is that it's about how rich white men are often isolated but have the privilege of low acting so they can (and do) get away with murder but also the flipside of that is that these men do not get the help they may need if they're suffering from mental or physical illness like Patrick (because he is clearly severely mentally ill and a repressed fag lol). He isn't a good person, that's not the point of the movie but he does need help and he's unable to get it both because he doesn't know how to ask for help and is repressing his feelings, and because of the cultural taboo around him asking for help. He's doing what is expected of him: dating/fucking women, going to nice restaurants with his buddies, showing a surface level understanding of politics. But under that is a deeply fucked up guy who is probably into men but is unable to explore those feelings. Idk. There are better worded analyses out there but I'm just glad you enjoyed it!

this is a good analysis!! yeah i can definitely see a queer reading honestly. i think you could definitely say that the hypersexuality of him constantly having sex with woman and seemingly getting nothing out of it is a form of overcompensation, or like, trying to prove to himself that he is straight.

all his political views that he mentioned, seemed to just be buzz words. like i hate the idea of "virtue signalling" but, my understanding of the phrase makes it seem that thats what he was doing, just trying to make it seem like he had all the right political beliefs, when really it was shallow. that was interesting.

also, due to the nature of it being . id say first person. obviously we dont see directly through pats eyes but we do hear all of his thoughts and only see his actions (which i think is what makes something first person in a film perspective? unless thats just third person with a limited narrator? idk all the film terminology). anyway due to us only seeing pattys side of everything. we get this idea that all the men around him are fulfilled. they appear to be doing all the same daily work activities as him, but unlike him, they seem to be enjoying it, further isolating bateman. you could probably take a marxist reading of this, study batemans actions through like, the theory of alienation maybe?

i unfortunately dont know too much about the marx's theory of alienation, but it did seem as if patrick was very isolated and had no real substance in his life, leading to a degradation of the self and then a loss of empathy? leading him to kill to just, find some semblance of humanity? unless it states earlier in the movie that he's lacked emotions since he was a child. anyway maybe a marxist reading but definitely an anti-capitalist reading this movie is chockers full of anti-capitalist messages. dorsia as an unachievable goal, the godot theyre waiting for or the green light theyre chasing could be like, personal fulfillment in a capitalistic society, like how theyre always pressing for the next level, trying to gain more money for really no reason? idk . idk why i mentioned godot that probably doesnt have many textual links other than the one i mentioned and even that is weak, but theres probably some good links to be made between this and gatsby? not sure, i didnt pay too much attention to it .

anyway. this analysis is like. really weak. its late and my brain is off LOL im sorry its so messy. this is a great exam piece though