#bullshit incorrect quotes (?)

[burning-quesadilla]

Wally: I need life advice.  Dick, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.

[eiraeths]

price: alright that should be it. does anyone have any other ideas for ground rules?

ghost: [grabs a marker and writes down ‘don’t ‘die on the whiteboard]

soap: [takes the market and in parentheses adds in ‘optional’]

[bizarrelittlemew]

bro <3

[plistommy]

Robin: Okay, bottoms up!

Steve: *stands up*

Eddie: *smirks*

Nancy: I’m never hanging out with you guys again

[magicandmundane]

Watching the Darkness On Umbara arc, and because I still have Bad Batch brain rot, I’m thinking about how they would have reacted to Krell’s bullshit, so here’s what I’ve got:

Hunter: Sir, with all due respect—

Crosshair, flicking a toothpick: Which is none

Hunter, trying not to laugh: —we’re not doing that. Bad Batch, plan 43, let’s go!

Krell: Sergeant, you can’t—!

Wrecker: Too bad!

Fives, smacking Rex: Why can’t we be like them?!

[corpusdiem-seizethedead]

Husk: I hate being touched

Husk: The last time i maintained physical contact with another person was in battle

Vaggie: Angel is literally in your lap right now.

Husk: *Angel lounging across his thighs* This means nothing. Fear me.

[eloquentsisyphianturmoil]

Nurse, taking Maedhros’ temperature: …it says 40 Celsius?

Maedhros: you should see my father’s.

[chaostroberry1]

Apollo, in a seductive mouth watering outfit, leaning on the doorframe, winking and hinting at something : "(m/n)~ I'll be good tonight and sleep all by myself while I wait for you, okay~♥?"

(M!name), in a meeting with a few gods, incredibly oblivious : "alright! Sleep well. goodnight, dear!"

Apollo : "better join me soon~♥" *walks away to the bedroom*

The gods who just witnessed the BS : "😧"

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I got this from that death note scene of misa in a sexy outfit, obviously hinting at light on "stuff" she wanna do later. Motherfucker did not understand what she meant ☠️

[taikoturtle]

x

[rusomnia]

jason: everytime you smile i get nervous

tim: good.

[incorrect-poolverine-quotes]

Wade: hey peanut

Logan: yeah?

Wade: can a person breathe inside the washing machine while it’s on?

Logan:

Logan: where’s Laura

[spn-lesbian]

Cas: that’s ridiculous. Dean doesn’t love me back

Sam: yes he does

Bobby: yes he does

Gabriel: yes he does

Lucifer: yes he does

Crowley: yes he does

Rowena: yes he does

Eileen: yes he does

Jody: yes he does

Dean: yes I do

[somewhere-on-kamino]

The Sad Batch + Text Posts pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | Crosshair special

[plistommy]

Murray: So, Eddie… how was the pull out?

Eddie: I didn’t.

Murray: Didn’t what?

Eddie: Pull out.

Steve, chokes: Umm hahah Eddie just meant he didn’t uhh pull out the sof—

Eddie: Nah, I didn’t pull out from Steve.

Steve: —EDDIE!!!???

Murray: That’s more like it.

[cricket-moth]

need one of those ‘JL finds out about all the robins/batman’s assorted children’ but instead of the shock being that uper cool mysterious blüdhaven vigilante nightwing gets dad hugs from the fucking batman, he absolutely blesses the man out to kingdom come…

and everyone is waiting with baited breath just for batman fucking argues BACK and it’s PERSONAL

“AT LEAST I HAVEN’T ALMOST KILLED EVERY ONE OF MY CHILDREN AND FUCKED UP THEIR LIVES!!”

“THAT’S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN TO BEGIN WITH BECAUSE YOU’VE FUMBLE EVERY SINGLE BAD BITCH YOU HAVE HAD A SHOT WITH!!”

the entirety of the jl still at the table:

[majorstumbles]

Xavier: We need a plan for taking down Magneto.

Scott, high off his ass from taking a gummi Gambit offered him: Chuck.. Logan- wh’t’ef-

Logan, who wants to be thrown as hard as physically possible for Enrichment™️: Yes, yes, good plan. Ignore the part where Magneto will just chuck me out of the way, we’re doing this plan.