#bullshit incorrect quotes (?)

[bruciemilf]

Battinson as a parent: oh, I’m sorry that you fell , Jay. Yes, the ground shouldn’t have tripped you. Bad ground. Would you like an ice cream to feel better?

Thomas when Bruce jumped off the slide and broke his arm because some kid dared him to: Bet you won’t do that dumbass shit again, huh?

[aydien677]

Incorrect Quotes # 5?

Mc: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Lucifer ? 

Lucifer : … No.

Satan : I do! 

Mc: I know, Satan. 

Satan: I Hate Lucifer

Mc: I know, Satan.

Levi : Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million grimm?

Mammon: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house. 

Mc: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million. 

Mammon: Good thinking.

Lucifer : Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night. 

Mammon : You were flirting with Mc. 

Lucifer : So what? They're my partner. 

Mammon : You asked them if they were single. 

Lucifer : "..."

Mammon : "And then you cried when they said they weren't."

Solomon : Hey, Mc? Can I get some dating advice?

Mc: Just because I’m with Lucifer doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

Satan : Why are you on the floor?

Belphie : I'm depressed.

Belphie : Also I was stabbed, can you get Beel, please

Mc: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time? 

Mammon : The car takes a screenshot. 

Lucifer : For the last time, get the fuck out.

Mc: *subtly breaking the fourth wall* "I have now fed the fandom like throwing meat to the sharks."

Lucifer: "Dafuck?"

Barbatos: *who canonically breaks the fourth wall in the manga* "Good job Mc, should keep them distracted for a little longer"

Solomon: "?????"

[eiraeths]

price: alright that should be it. does anyone have any other ideas for ground rules?

ghost: [grabs a marker and writes down ‘don’t ‘die on the whiteboard]

soap: [takes the market and in parentheses adds in ‘optional’]

[padawansuggest]

Obi-Wan: *stops in the middle of a battle

Clones: ????

Cody: um… fall back? …sir?

Obi-Wan: *slowly dissolves into star particles, sweeps across the field and leaves broken droids in the wake, resolidifies next to Dooku and puts him in force suppressants*

Clones: Jedi can do that???? Since when???????

Cody: *corners him in the medbay later* general? Since when was… any of that? The plan?

Obi-Wan: Um. It was not. Sorry, I was getting flashbacks and the best way to stop those are to meditate so I started disassociating and then I got a slight existential crisis and was wondering why we existed and suddenly I remembered that we are NOT this crude matter and so I was like ‘okay so what if I STOPPED being this crude matter’ and so I did and then the rest of that happened… it was weird I don’t want to talk about it.

Helix: Buddy, you’re in luck with me cause I ain’t qualified to do anything but gawk at ya, but I think the healers are gonna make you talk about it.

Obi-Wan: It was WEIRD though… ugh, I started thinking about purgals and the Mortis gods and I think I briefly became a force god too. It was stressful and it made the battle seem so small so I needed to get rid of SOMETHING, so I got rid of the battle.

Cody: I have an idea.

Obi-Wan: Oh???

Cody: Yeah. Let’s go get drunk.

Obi-Wan: A solid plan, I like it.

Helix: Oh my god…

[bizarrelittlemew]

bro <3

[magicandmundane]

Watching the Darkness On Umbara arc, and because I still have Bad Batch brain rot, I’m thinking about how they would have reacted to Krell’s bullshit, so here’s what I’ve got:

Hunter: Sir, with all due respect—

Crosshair, flicking a toothpick: Which is none

Hunter, trying not to laugh: —we’re not doing that. Bad Batch, plan 43, let’s go!

Krell: Sergeant, you can’t—!

Wrecker: Too bad!

Fives, smacking Rex: Why can’t we be like them?!

[possibly-a-table-or-just-gay]

thorin textposts because

+ bonus arkenrock

1/2/3/4/5/6

[irrationalgame]

Armitage Hux + text posts ♾️

[plistommy]

Robin: Okay, bottoms up!

Steve: *stands up*

Eddie: *smirks*

Nancy: I’m never hanging out with you guys again

[eloquentsisyphianturmoil]

Nurse, taking Maedhros’ temperature: …it says 40 Celsius?

Maedhros: you should see my father’s.

[corpusdiem-seizethedead]

Husk: I hate being touched

Husk: The last time i maintained physical contact with another person was in battle

Vaggie: Angel is literally in your lap right now.

Husk: *Angel lounging across his thighs* This means nothing. Fear me.

[chaostroberry1]

Apollo, in a seductive mouth watering outfit, leaning on the doorframe, winking and hinting at something : "(m/n)~ I'll be good tonight and sleep all by myself while I wait for you, okay~♥?"

(M!name), in a meeting with a few gods, incredibly oblivious : "alright! Sleep well. goodnight, dear!"

Apollo : "better join me soon~♥" *walks away to the bedroom*

The gods who just witnessed the BS : "😧"

---

---

I got this from that death note scene of misa in a sexy outfit, obviously hinting at light on "stuff" she wanna do later. Motherfucker did not understand what she meant ☠️

[txbix-chxn]

Tanaka: This is real.

Kiyoko: I know.

Tanaka: You’re my wife.

Kiyoko: I’m your wife.

Tanaka: You married me. In front of people.

Kiyoko: I know. I was there.

[majorstumbles]

Xavier: We need a plan for taking down Magneto.

Scott, high off his ass from taking a gummi Gambit offered him: Chuck.. Logan- wh’t’ef-

Logan, who wants to be thrown as hard as physically possible for Enrichment™️: Yes, yes, good plan. Ignore the part where Magneto will just chuck me out of the way, we’re doing this plan.

[rusomnia]

jason: everytime you smile i get nervous

tim: good.

[spn-lesbian]

Cas: that’s ridiculous. Dean doesn’t love me back

Sam: yes he does

Bobby: yes he does

Gabriel: yes he does

Lucifer: yes he does

Crowley: yes he does

Rowena: yes he does

Eileen: yes he does

Jody: yes he does

Dean: yes I do