#Silm crack

[elves-as-things-my-friends-said]

Maedhros: *walks past an open-doored room*

Curufin to Celegorm: - and I wasn’t thinking potato gun, but you’re right -

Maedhros, backpedaling: wHAT.

[hobbitinnumenor]

and he didn't like the ending 🎶🎵

Glorfindel: what if we throw the ring into the ocean?

Lindir (Maglor in disguise): wow

Elrond: no actually we'll throw it into a volcano

Lindir (Maglor in disguise): WOW

[realest-silmfacts]

Sauron spends most of the time in the 3rd age walking the beaches of Middle Earth with a metal detector.

[psstwantsomecheese]

The thing about CuruFinrod is that they took one look at each other in Nargothrond and Finrod decided "I could fix him" while Curufin was sure he could make him worse and neither succeeded

[stacytea]

we all know about the hobbit and 13 dwarves now it's time we get ready for the hobbit and 7 elves

i think bilbo baggins could’ve successfully stolen a silmarill, if given the chance

[aroacebaggins]

Elrond: Hostage or not, sometimes it's nice being held.

Gil-galad: Are you okay?

[jolidei]

Of Atar.

Namo : Define your Atar using one word.

Maedhros : Listen, I'm not drunk enough to talk about Atar.

Maglor : Eh... princely?

Celegorm : THAT FUCKING BITCH!

Caranthir : Difficult.

Curufin : MAJESTIC!

Amrod : arrogant.

Amras : short.

[vildo]

This is the kinda shit I wanna see Ungoliant do

[aroacebaggins]

I honestly have no concrete opinion right now, I like letting all versions exist simultaneously for the most part. But other than the usual son or Fingon or Orodreth, some others I've heard, ranked on outlandishness:

Lalwen's son

Glorfindel's kid, where Glorfindel is in turn Lalwen's son

Son of Caranthir (sometimes +Haleth)

A random kid Círdan found in the trash and said "yeah, I can work with this"

Finduilas in disguise

Actually Círdan's kid somehow, not Noldorin at all, they're running a con

Either Eluréd or Elurín in disguise. Or both depending on the day.

A Maia who got bored

Two dwarves in a trench coat

The ambiguity is so funny I love it.

PLEASE send me ur who-is-gil-galad theories i am losing my absolute mind rn

[veryseriouspenguin]

The story of Fëanor is literally reverse!Cinderella.

Like, he has a good stepmother, and two nice “stepsisters” (Ñolo and Ara), and makes it his main goal to make their lives miserable. He grew up in a palace, having everything (but not everyone) he could possibly wish for; Cinderella had to live in a cellar and do household chores even though she was nobility. Cinderella married a man far above her station; Fëanor married a woman far beneath his rank. I wonder if Aulë counts as a fairy godmother…

The evil stepmother trope but it’s the evil stepson. He could have literally forced Indis to do his laundry and clean his fireplace, and I’m not sure Finwë would have intervened…

I got myself a tumblr account just to write this.

[elves-as-things-my-friends-said]

Melkor, out of nowhere: how do the cars in the pixar cars universe check their blindspots?

Tulkas: I am going to strangle you with your own toes.

Melkor: that's a new one.

[thetiredprometheus]

"These are my firstborns. Aren't they adorable?"

Two eldritch horrors and their proud father

[winds-of-zephyr416]

Hfidbidjdidjdofjiixkssufi my body decided to annihilate me today so im cursing the silm fandom with this

[barelyanartblog]

"But Fingon could not release the hell-wrought bond upon his carpal pad, nor sever it, nor draw it from the stone. Again therefore in his pain Maedhros begged that he would slay him; but Fingon cut off his paw above the carpal pad, and Thorondor bore them back to Mithrim."

– Of the Return of the Noldor, The Silmeowrillion

[psstwantsomecheese]

When burning to death in a fiery chasm isn't even the worst thing that's happened to you

[balrogballs]

Tenth walkers may be all well and good, but the Third Age AU I really need to see is Fëanor and his sons sitting in Mandos and watching a livestream of the Ring War clutching cans of beer like a group of dads watching the World Cup.