#Silm crack

[vildo]

With all due disrespect is how Fëanor starts every speech

[peasant-player]

This is a follow up to this post here from @joetamy

Anyway~

Expectations

Reality

He has seven kids and a forge to run okay.

[sesamenom]

milkerpocalypse

for april 2nd we should all change our icons to this

[boop-le-snoot]

I've been thinking a lot about the elves who first awoke and their children. It would make no sense for them to “discover” clothing until either the Valar introduced the concept or they encountered something - monsters or weather events - that would cause them to invent clothing.

So, in my slightly feral headcanon, there is a subgroup of elves in Valinor who absolutely refuse to wear clothing. You've got the Noldor, famous craftspeople who probably invented Maximalist Chic, and the Sindar who are all about translucent silk and leafy patterns, [...],

... and in a forest somewhere nearby, a group of mostly feral, tribal in the construct of their society, elves that hop tree to tree with their bojangles ringing on the wind.

Tolkien personally states that his elves were supposed to be what humanity would be like without original sin. However, in basically every version of the Abrahamic creation myth, wanting to wear clothing is a direct result of eating the fruit of knowledge. Meaning that for the worldbuilding, philosophy, and theology of Tolkien to make sense the elves would have to be naked unless they specifically had a reason not to be. However none of the works in the lotr cannon have properly portrayed elves this way. However, with the power of cgi, deaging technology, and labor rights violations, in an all new extended edition coming to Amazon Prime in 2025...

[trash-ainu]

So I was browsing through stuff I saved on my phone, and I found screenshots of some incorrect quotes generator I was sending my friends, and suddenly, I saw amongst them---

[realest-silmfacts]

Galadriel has kissed more women than men in her life.

[joetamy]

Hmmmmm... 📝

I see what you mean ahaha His shoes are my least favorite part of the design, but his (half) brothers are getting attention right now so he will have to wait ✨🤭

[psstwantsomecheese]

When burning to death in a fiery chasm isn't even the worst thing that's happened to you

[barelyanartblog]

"But Fingon could not release the hell-wrought bond upon his carpal pad, nor sever it, nor draw it from the stone. Again therefore in his pain Maedhros begged that he would slay him; but Fingon cut off his paw above the carpal pad, and Thorondor bore them back to Mithrim."

– Of the Return of the Noldor, The Silmeowrillion

[balrogballs]

“Elves do not need to shit. There are no execratory processes happening within the elven body. There are no toilets in Lothlorien. Celeborn tells Gimli to just “go on a tree, like a hound”. Legolas spends the entire quest feeling sad, left out and excluded from the camaraderie building activity of the communal morning shite. Half-elves may need a shit but only sometimes. Like when they’re particularly sad, or ate something bad. When Finrod discovered humans he was fascinated by the concept. Lúthien (re-released edition) and Arwen had the capability to take a shit but chose not to. Elros wanted to but couldn’t. With the Maiar it’s Russian Roulette. Saruman can’t but tells everyone he can. Mithrandir can. Sauron won’t, which explains a lot.”

— JRR Tolkien, Laws and Customs Among the Eldar

[dictatorshipper]

The only reason why not have those coins is that Melkor's face degrades faster then coins go out of circulation, so farely soon no one would know who is that unimpressed fine looking fella (and fine looking is actually BAD from orcs perspective xddd)

Soooo if we operate under the assumption that they circulated any form of currency... do we think that Utumno/Angband coins had Melkor's face on them, on account of him being the ruler orrrrrr...?

[peasant-player]

Save me Sailor Silmaril ~

@beatles4ever65 thanks for that suggestion I had tons of fun drawing this hehe ❤️

Here have a extra Nerdanel ~

[thetiredprometheus]

A chart by Maedhros Feanorion

[eloquentsisyphianturmoil]

My favourite thing about Turgon are the seven increasingly spectacular gates he built along the entrance to his city that no one’s supposed to find anyway.

[inthehouseoffinwe]

Crack idea: Elrond’s tired of elves constantly asking him to be king, and when they finally say ‘if not you, at least choose one of your sons!’ plonks the crown on Aragorn.

He has the training. The skills. Is well known and generally loved by the vast majority of elves anyway.

And if they don’t like it? Well. They should’ve been more specific.

It’s worth mentioning Thranduil finds the whole thing *hilarious* and doesn’t even try to hide that he’s sending his most problematic elves Aragorn’s way. Elrond and Galadriel start doing the same and we end up with Gondor filled with hardcore Doriathrim and Fëanorians.

The only reason they’re not throwing hands is the position of High King is cursed and no one wants to answer to Elrond if his youngest son gets so much as a paper cut on their watch. Especially since this whole thing is their fault. Aragorn ends up with a constant guard of Sindar and Noldor he can’t shake off no matter what he does.

[quinthejester]

because this is exactly what happened with annatar and celebrimbor <3