#buck struggling with it when he finds out - not wanting to see Tommy

[starstruckbyacomet]

On the Break-Up

Tarlos vs Tevan

People had mentioned that Tevan's break-up is similar with Tarlos', which may indicate a reunion in the near future. The only similarity I can think of is that both happened because one half of the pair wanted to move the relationship forward, while the other half was reluctant. On the other hand, I find several differences between the two which are quite alarming:

1)) Rafael Silva was/is a main cast. He wouldn't go anywhere. Lou is just a guest star.

2)) Tarlos is the only queer couple on Lone Star. 9-1-1 OG has already one queer couple: Henren. So far, I haven't found any shows marketed towards the general audience, which have more than one queer couples who got a happy ending.

3)) Both Tim and Oliver agree that Buck is always a bit promiscuous. This trait is even deliberately shown when Buck was tackily eyeing a woman in the middle of his anniversary dinner with Tommy! Neither TK nor Carlos has this trait. During 5 seasons of their up and down relationship, neither TK nor Carlos has ever shown attraction to other people. Tim also posted a video in his Facebook page about how a character shouldn't change so much on a TV show. It could be an indication that he has set Buck as an eternal bachelor, who was destined to always search for love, while bedding multiple love interests until the season finale.

4)) Tarlos' break up didn't feel out of character. Although it happened off screen, and the reason was disclosed much later in the storyline, the explanation made sense. On the other hand, Tevan's break up is out of character for everyone involved:

Tommy used to be very mindful about other people's feelings. In 7x04, he was aware that he had created a wedge between Buck and Eddie, so he visited Buck to clear the air. This Tommy wouldn't get into a relationship, if he knew he couldn't move to the next step.

Buck who had always been clinging and pursuing people who had left him (Abby, Maddie), would not let Tommy go without fighting for their relationship.

Bobby who has said Tommy was good for Buck, and Henren who have questioned Tommy about his intention with Buck, would not standby watching the break up without saying anything to either Buck or Tommy.

5)) Although in the middle of a break up, there was a sense of continuity in Tarlos' love story. We saw both TK and Carlos struggled with the break-up. We saw people around them were concerned and questioning, as if they want Tarlos to be back together. This doesn't happen in Tevan's break up. The only sign that Tommy has been struggling is #TommybubblesBuck. We see mostly only Buck is struggling, while people around him indicate that they want him to move on (by hiding his phone instead of encouraging him to talk to Tommy like an adult!). It feels like the purpose of showing how much Buck has been struggling is to remind the audience that Tommy is as important as Abby for Buck, because Buck was also struggling when Abby left.

6)) Buck didn't even seem struggling while he was interacting with his team or Brad on episode 8x08 "Wannabes". This is different with TK and Carlos who carried their feelings almost all the time during their break-up period.

7)) Overall, the way Tarlos' break up was executed more thoughtfully indicates that it is an important milestone in their continuing love story. Tevan's break-up seemed poorly written and rushly executed, as if just to put a lid on a box. It seemed that the way Tim viewed Tommy is similar like he viewed Gerard and Ortiz: as loose ends from the prior season which need to be tied up asap, before being discarded like used tissues. Tim even preferred to give more attention to Brad Torrence, his shiny new toy. This was not happened in Tarlos break up.

Despite all the discouraging signs, I couldn't put off the tiny hope which is still flickering in my heart. I love Tevan too much, and it feels like I have been fighting more for their relationship than for my own 😅. With all the above signs, I'm afraid that the only chance for their love story to continue is by:

keeping the rating/viewership low until Tevan reunited on screen.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Living for the idea that they might actually give us the plotline that Tommy hadn’t actually changed - that he’s just been wearing a mask to fit in wherever he is and its slipping and revealing his racist, sexist, homophobic past - that isn’t so in the past after all - that that is who he actually is!

[theallyandhisbeast]

About bucktommy and 911 in general

You know, in the end, this just feels extremely cheap and cruel.

Showing bucktommy be incandescently happy in all the episodes but 8.6? Even in this ep you can feel how much they care and genuinely love each other. Audience was largely optimistic and excited about them, in a way we have never seen for other buck's LI.

Only to what? Throw it all away because you can't be bothered to write a satisfactory arc for them? Because Buck is the epitome of the guy who dates a lot but always gets broken up with? That to be able to decide if you want to be in a committed relationship if you are bi you have to explore first or else your decision is null and void?

What a way to waste potential and your characters arc.

The special thing about Tommy was that he was beloved by not only bucktommy fans, but GA, and most importantly he was a sort of representation we don't see all that much in media. People loved him because they saw themselves in him, they could connect to his journey and they were genuinely rooting for him to find love and family with Buck. To waste it all away, and to do so by basically throw at us all that we loved about them is unnecessarily cruel.

What hurts the most is that even buck and tommy themselves didn't want to break up. but instead they "must" because bowing down to harmful stereotypes about bi people who are "confused and so they must experiment before settling" is more important than telling a compelling story.

Even without bt break up, I feel like this season took a sharp dive for the worst about well thought storylines in a way that baffles him. Gerrard was reduced to a joke, as was Ortiz, both pgs that could have been used to create compelling arcs that intertwined the 118 even more but instead we got this cheap throwaway joke of a Gerrard, Ortiz was basically throw out of office in a single ep. Hotshot sl could have been fun but instead it's just.... there. And coming back too just for funsies, cause apparently that sl was more important to develop instead of a interesting queer relationship.

Athena once again doing copaganda. Bobby coming back to the 118 without any particular struggle or even guilt about dropping the bag. Things said in interviews that we expect to happen and never even made it to the screen (Eddie's loneliness? Chim and Hen having conflict over Mara? Buck feeling guilty about injuring Gerrard?).

The way Maddie cannot have any sl that is not either tied to a man or about motherhood. Madney having another surprise baby instead of them choosing on purpose to expand their family. Hen & Karen gaining trauma after trauma about their children and not having any other sl that is not tied to that. Josh just existing in the periphery and only becoming important as the "insightful token gay" but not having any type of meaningful screen time since Carson.

The other side characters like Sue, Ravi, Linda, Carla completely disappearing without anyone mentioning them. Ravi has not been given any important sl ever since he talked about having cancer and ever since reduced as a comic relief without anything to add to his character but he's a "landlord".

Chris is out of the picture for who knows how long, and is basically kept around to be traumatized over and over again. Eddie hasn't gotten any character development until first s5 and seemingly now, but i'd argue that the whole thing just felt rushed because what do you mean it takes one chat with a priest for him to do a 180° while he still isn't talking to Chris? And Eddie was the one who got the best treatment of all of them this season.

It's the way this show is slowly chipping itself away. It's the way they start a queer story line promising it would be impactful and handled with care and then half-assing it a best. It's the way the other queer characters are never explored and able to breath and revel in their queerness in the first place. Because, really, when was the last time Hen and Karen kissed on screen? When was the last time they went on a date? When was the last time their arcs were not about children or getting hurt, but just about them as individuals? And on this thread what about Maddie? Or Josh? Or Chim? Or Eddie?

Everything feels reused again and again and again without no real development than then starting the circle all over in half a season.

What a waste.

[peppermintquartz]

I'm feeling bitchily critical today so. Let's get critical.

Reasons why Season 8 of 911 (so far) sucks:

Bobby and Athena are aimless

They have no house. The logical development is for them to look for one, one for their future. That is theirs. Where are the house hunting woes? The disageeements and compromises? Are they ever going to have a chance to find a place they both love? Or build one, even?

Athena's job description is all over the place

She's giving school talks. She's conducting traffic stops. She's escorting a prisoner across state lines. She is mentoring new officers. She's a goddamn Sergeant but what is her job scope? Every single thing requiring the presence of police, apparently!

Hen and Karen have little direction for growth

The Mara adoption issue could have brought out more of their relationship, developed them in terms of relying on each other through a difficult time. The storyline with Ortiz could have really delved into the struggles of the foster care system, and how Hen and Karen broke rules designed to protect the kids. (Seriously, if a child is removed from a foster family, it's logical not allowing the foster parents to meet the child that was removed for the safety of the child). Where was the appeal to Ortiz as a mother? Where was the struggle? Where is the tension between the Wilsons and the Hans? Instead there was a Deux Ex Gerrard. And I am not even gonna start on the whole "why didn't you take leave for Halloween" shit, that stuff should have been settled when Denny was a baby. What are their next steps? Same old same old?

Gerrard is a joke

An established bigot and racist returns. He could have been a great way to show how the 118 has grown beyond him and his bullying. Instead they're cowed by him, and lets him yell at Buck? Whatever happened to the "who cares" courage in Season 7? And he gets the reward of his dream job?

Eddie is still not healed

He emotionally cheated on his girlfriend with his dead wife's doppelganger. Has he even processed what that actually means? No! His son moved to Texas. Has he coped with the loneliness in his house? Who knows? Certainly not the audience, since we don't see him go to therapy or, hell, have a full breakdown! He confides in people who aren't his friends, let alone his so-called best friend! Bobby gave him a prayer book but we don't even hear Eddie rage at a God who keeps putting devastation and challenges in his way. What wa the point of the prayer book then? He just danced in his underwear and somehow that made him smile and now he's moving across the country and, what, giving up on his home and his job? Is that really healing, Edmundo Díaz? Or are you just running from the problem again?

Chimney has no internal or external motivation

He was providing for Mara for a few months. Was he stressed about it? Did he think about seeking a promotion for a higher salary? Also, he is an immigrant. Does that influence how he teaches Jee? Has he and Maddie, white suburban raised Maddie, ever discussed the potential problems Jee might face? Or whether they wanna include some Korean culture in Jee's education, since they gave her a Korean name? Does he ever think about any of these issues? Is he at all conflicted? What does Chimney want?

Maddie

She was the one who wanted to meet Tommy. Has she done so outside of the wedding? What was her opinion of him? Is Maddie content to stay in Dispatch in the exact same position? Has she any career ambition? And about Jee: does she never think about the Korean part of Jee? Connecting to her own culture? Learning Korean, maybe? That would have been interesting because perhaps she wants her daughter to connect to that part of her roots but Chimney doesn't, for his own reasons. Also, if she wants to have a second kid, why didn't she discuss it with Chimney outright before the pregnancy? Was she not taking the pill? Were they careless again? What would she do if Chimney didn't want a second child? Abort? Given how the first pregnancy was traumatic for the whole family, including her brother, this development is showing her to be pretty self-centered, frankly. I don't know this Maddie. She's not the same one that gave Buck her Jeep to escape, knowing that she'll be hurt by an abusive husband.

Brad

Why is airtime devoted to a character that is barely connected to the 118? What is the reason behind giving him so much focus? Is he supposed to quit acting and become a firefighter or something? What is the rationale for his existence?

.

.

And I haven't even touched on Buck or Tommy.

[theotherbuckley]

Just some Bucktommy headcanons <3

- Buck always struggles to hide his surprise every time Tommy goes out of his way to turn up for him because he’s not used to someone actually showing up for him. Tommy sets out to always prove him wrong.

- Tommy was completely prepared for Buck to be a baby gay (inclusive) and still chokes every time Buck is super flirty, not that he’s complaining.

- After bad shifts they both take care of each other and help each other wash off and then cuddle together.

- The first time Tommy sees Buck with Jee he damn near has a heart attack. Buck sees him and gets worried but Tommy just tells him he’s adorable and Buck blushes.

- Buck gets butterflies and blushes so hard every single time Tommy calls him cute or adorable or anything like that because he’s not used to being perceived in that way and he loves it.

- Every single time Buck sees a helicopter he sends a pic to Tommy asking if it’s him. This leads to Tommy sending Buck photos of random doggos and asking if it’s Buck.

- Buck can’t shut up about his how his boyfriend is a pilot and will tell anyone who will listen.

- Buck loves how Tommy calls him Evan it makes his heart skip a beat. One day Tommy asks him about it because everyone else calls him Buck and should he? And Buck ducks his head and says “I like the way you say it.”

- They have a vulnerable discussion and Buck tells Tommy about Daniel and growing up constantly getting hurt and Tommy shares his rough childhood with his parents divorce and feeling like nobody was in his corner. Tommy vows never to let Buck think he’s worth anything less than everything and Buck makes sure Tommy knows that hes got him has a steady figure. He invites Tommy to all the 118 gatherings to make sure he knows that he has them too.

- At one of the gatherings Bobby takes Tommy aside and he thinks he’s getting the shovel talk but Bobby just hugs him and welcomes him to the family. Tommy has to wipe his eyes before going back out to the gathering.

- Tommy talks to Hen privately and profusely apologises for his behaviour at the 118 which leads to them both in tears by the end of it. Hen promises to give him a Christmas card every year and Tommy laughs.

- The first time bucktommy has a fight it’s over something trivial, Tommy leaves to get some fresh air and returns an hour or so later to find Buck crying. Buck looks shocked that he came back. Tommy tells him he will always come back and vows to communicate more clearly with Buck.

- Buck always talks about wanting to get a dog and Tommy just shakes his head and laughs. One day Tommy comes home covered in soot with a small golden retriever puppy that he saved in his arms and tells Buck he couldn’t let go of him. They name him Leo. Chris becomes obsessed with him and begs Eddie to get a dog too. Instead Carla takes Chris over after school to see Leo and feed him when Buck and Tommy can’t. Leo loves Chris and always barks when he leaves.

- Buck teaches Tommy how to dance because he never learnt. Buck tells him how he learnt for Maddie.

- When Buck gets hurt on a call Tommy won’t leave his side. He asks Eddie how he did it when Buck actually died and Eddie shakes his head and said he didn’t. Eddie takes Tommy home and forces him to shower and eat. Eddie, Chris, and Tommy sit together talking about Buck until they get the message that Bucks okay.

- When Eddie gets hurt on a call Buck is beside himself. Buck tells Tommy about the will. Buck tells Chris his dad is hurt again and Tommy holds Buck when he breaks down afterwards remembering the shooting.

- The first time they go further than making out Buck tells Tommy he loves his tits and then blushes and apologises. Tommy just chuckles and tells Buck he loves his tits too.

- Buck comes in with a limp one day and turns red when they ask him to explain. Hen keeps laughing at him but Chimney is so confused and keeps asking about it. Buck breaks and tells him. Chim can’t look Tommy in the eye at the next BBQ

- When they get married Tommy says how grateful he is to have an ally like Buck in his life.

[capseycartwright]

miss me, but let me go

“I have - I’ve carried this grief, for you, for so long, and I know I can’t let it all go, because a part of me is always going to grieve for you,” Eddie paused. “But I can’t feel like this forever, Shannon. I don’t think you’d want me to, either. So - I need to let some of it go. Okay? I need to - I need to be myself now. For me, and for Christopher. I want to be me."

On November 1, Eddie builds an altar for Shannon and finds a way to let her go.

ao3 link

November 1. The date is not one Eddie is likely to ever forget. Even before Shannon died, Dia de los Muertos wasn’t a holiday he ever missed - as a child, he would help his abuelo make their altar every year, a picture of his abuelo front-and-centre, Edmundo Diaz Senior, the man he’d been named for, looking sharp in his suit as he looked out from the glass picture frame where he’d lived all of Eddie’s life. He’d never met his grandfather - only carried his name. 

Over the years, more faces found a home on the altar - friends, and family, time a fickle thing and the only certainty about life that it ended. Death was familiar, a constant in a world Eddie felt like he could never quite figure out.

After Shannon died -

The first November 1 after she died, Eddie built his own altar for the first time, explaining the tradition to Christopher. They had done it every year since, Christopher’s face in a set line as he made sure everything was absolutely perfect. No less than his mother deserved, Eddie knew. 

Shannon hadn’t grown up with the traditions of All Saints and All Souls, but she’d embraced them wholly when she and Eddie had gotten married, making the altar herself when Eddie wasn’t there. It felt right to honour her with the traditions she had loved herself. That was why Eddie had taken to adding a picture of Shannon’s mother to the altar too, when she died the year after Shannon did. Breast cancer, they’d said, but Eddie knew heartbreak had been the thing that had pushed her over the edge.

Every year, Eddie celebrated Shannon, and her mother, his grandfather, the people he’d served with who had died - 

Except this year.

Eddie felt bad. Really, he did - he was going to build the altar himself, but when his dad had texted a picture of the Diaz family altar, Shannon front and centre, Eddie couldn’t quite bring himself to make his own. Shannon was being remembered - that was what mattered. He’d gone to her grave instead, only half listening as the priest had said mass over the graveyard, praying for the salvation of the souls who were buried there.

Grief was a funny old beast, Eddie knew. Grief had made him do crazy things - grief had driven his son to Texas, for crying out loud. The grief didn’t hit standing by her grave, but it did when dusk descended over Eddie’s house, and the absence of an altar began to feel like one of the worst things he’d done amongst a year of terrible decision-making.

Maybe he should have taken Buck up on his offer of coming over to make an altar with him, but Eddie had asked enough of his best friend in the last four months. Eddie knew Tommy had bought them tickets for some movie Buck was dying to see, and as much as Eddie was a near-professional third wheel now, he didn’t think he’d make a good addition to the back row of their local movie theatre.

Eddie winced as he looked at the candle he’d swiped from the dining table. “It’s cedarwood,” he said, apologetic as he lit it, setting the candle down in front of the framed picture of Shannon that lived on their fireplace. “I know you hated cedarwood, but I’m working with what I’ve got here, Shan.”

Eddie pressed his cheek against his folded arms, taking one, two, three shaky breaths. “I really struggled after you left, Shannon. I don’t think I really even realised how much until now - and it’s not just because you were gone, but you were gone and you wanted a divorce, and I - suddenly, I was never going to get answers.”

He’d been talking about Shannon a lot in therapy, lately, unpacking all his complicated feelings during his excruciating weekly hour with Frank. 

“I don’t know if I even wanted to stay married to you,” Eddie admitted, the candle flickering in the growing dark of his living room. That was terrifying to admit out loud - that even if she had stayed alive, he and Shannon wouldn’t have made it work. There were a thousand reasons why, and Eddie could sit, and list them all, but one was more important than the others. 

“I think I’m gay, Shannon,” Eddie had never said it out loud before, despite the thought never quite leaving his mind, Pandora’s box open, now. “If you were here, I bet you’d have such a laugh with that - not like, in a bad way. Just - I think you’d find it funny, that your mom’s gaydar was right after all.” 

He couldn’t help but laugh at the thought himself. Shannon’s mom had been the bitchiest woman he’d ever met, and Eddie loved her for it. 

“I’ve made such a mess of things,” Eddie paused. “But with you, most of all. I’m sorry - for my part in it all. I thought I was doing the right thing, joining the army. I just wanted to take care of you and Chris, and I didn’t see any other way out. I know it was the wrong choice - but I really thought it was the right one. You know?”

Shannon’s picture stayed silent. 

“I have - I’ve carried this grief, for you, for so long, and I know I can’t let it all go, because a part of me is always going to grieve for you,” Eddie paused. For the life she might have had, if not for the car crash - Eddie sometimes liked to indulge himself and think of an alternative life where Shannon had survived, where they got divorced, and learned how to co-parent, and maybe they found their way back to being friends. It was a nice thought.

Eddie wiped roughly at his eyes. “But I can’t feel like this forever, Shannon. I don’t think you’d want me to, either. So - I need to let some of it go. Okay? I need to - I need to be myself now. For me, and for Christopher. I want to be me.” 

With a shaky hand, Eddie pressed a kiss to the framed picture, setting Shannon back down with the candle. It was a half-assed altar, and somehow, that made Eddie feel worse. He scrambled to his feet, heading for his bedroom, and the box of Shannon’s belongings he knew was stashed at the back of his wardrobe. He hadn’t kept much for himself - most of it was for Christopher - but he had a few things. There was a necklace in there, he knew that Eddie had bought her for their first wedding anniversary. It was a cheap thing, because they were always broke, but it was something of hers - it would make it a more acceptable offering.

Eddie couldn’t help the breath that hitched in his throat as he spotted what was in his bedroom. A butterfly, resting on his pillowcase, on the side he always slept on. “Hey, little guy,” he whispered softly, not wanting to startle the tiny creature. His abuela loved butterflies - they were spirits of the people you loved, who had left, coming back to visit. Eddie felt slightly ridiculous, but he said it anyway. “Shannon?”

The butterfly didn’t move. 

“I’m so glad Christopher isn’t here, because he would really think I’ve lost it,” Eddie crouched by the side of his bed, holding out a finger. “Hey. Is this your way of telling me it’s okay to let you go? Did you hear all of that?” 

The butterfly moved, tiny wings fluttering as it came to land on Eddie’s outstretched finger. 

“I hope that’s a yes,” Eddie knew tears were streaming down his cheeks, now, but he didn’t want to freak the butterfly out by wiping them away. “How did you get in here, eh? None of the windows are open.”

If Eddie Diaz believed in a higher power, still, he’d blame God - or the universe. 

“Let’s get you outside,” Eddie said, and the butterfly flapped, a little, coming to land on the windowsill instead. “Yeah? You’re ready to go?”

The butterfly flapped in response again.

“I think I’m ready to let you go, this time,” Eddie admitted, carefully unlatching the window. “We’re going to be okay, me and Christopher. I promise. You can go. You don’t need to worry about us.” 

The butterfly seemed to pause, for a second, before it flew out the open window, disappearing into the beginnings of the evening. Eddie wasn’t sure how long he stood there, tears pouring down his cheeks, rolling off the curve of his chin and onto his shirt, but the next thing he knew, he could hear - 

“Buck?”

“Eddie! You’re a firefighter - how long have you left that candle unattended, huh? Eddie - Eddie, where are you, man?”

Buck appeared in the doorway of Eddie’s bedroom, a family-sized bag of sour patch kids tucked under one arm. “Do I need to teach you the basics of fire safety all over again?” he huffed, pausing as he noticed Eddie’s tears. “Eddie - you okay?”

“Yeah,” Eddie offered his best friend a teary smile. For the first time, Eddie might actually mean that yes. “I’m okay. There - there was a butterfly,” he explained, gesturing at the window vaguely. “I had to let it out.”

“A butterfly?” Buck looked confused. 

“My abuela always said butterflies were the spirits of people who’ve died,” Eddie explained. “I lit a candle for Shannon, and there was a butterfly just sitting on my pillow, when I came in here. It’s…” he paused. “It’s stupid.”  

Buck’s face softened. ‘It’s not stupid,” he shook his head. “You think it was Shannon?”

Eddie glanced at the window again. “I hope it was,” he admitted, taking a deep breath before he closed the window. That in itself felt like symbolism, Eddie decided - a closing of a chapter he should have let go a long time ago. That’s what he needed it to be, at least. “Wait - aren’t you meant to be on a date?”

Bcuk shrugged. “We changed the tickets to tomorrow,” he explained, holding up the bag of candy. “You said you weren’t going to make an altar, and I didn’t want to let you skip out on it. These were her favourite, right?” 

Eddie could cry all over again. Buck, like Shannon, hadn’t grown up with Dia de los Muertos, but here he was, with a bag of Eddie’s dead wife’s favourite candy, ready to sit in Eddie’s grief with him. Eddie wasn’t sure what he’d done in a previous life to deserve a friend like Evan Buckley, but he thanked whatever God or universe was listening for giving him Buck anyway.

“She’d eat so many she’d give herself a stomach-ache,” Eddie grinned, and the memory didn’t hurt, the way it used to, the grief a dull ache that he could grow around, now. He leaned into the embrace Buck offered, breathing in the familiar cedarwood scent of Buck’s favourite cologne. “Thanks. For being here.”

“Nowhere I’d rather be,” Buck hummed, pressing a ridiculous, loud, smacking kiss to the top of Eddie’s head. Eddie loved him. “But I’m buying you one of those electric candle warmers if you’re going to keep leaving candles unattended, Eddie.” 

Eddie was mostly listening as he let Buck guide him back to the living room, the candle still flickering golden in front of Shannon’s picture. It was the same one he’d put on her memorial programme - bright, and beautiful, just like she’d always been when she was alive. 

Buck grinned, as he set a piece of candy in front of her picture. “Berry,” he explained. “My favourite,” he added, tossing a handful of the sour sweets into his own mouth. 

They sat, the television playing reruns of a procedural in the background, eating candy until their stomachs hurt, the candle burning all the way to the end. 

The butterfly didn’t come back.

Buck stayed.

Eddie was ready to move on.

(Buck stayed.)

[diazsdimples]

My favourite Buddietommy HCs bc they should ALL get to be loved.

They buy a super king sized bed when they move in together because Buck starfishes and likes to be in the middle, and Tommy and Eddie don't like being kicked

BUT more often than not they'll all end up snuggled together anyways because they're like magnets and always drawn together.

Tommy doesn't like cooking, mainly because he's worse at it than Eddie, so Buck decides to teach them both how to cook. Tommy suddenly becomes very enthusiastic

Tommy and Eddie initially struggled to think of date ideas together but then they both figured out that neither of them need anything grand, and something as simple as sparring together is enough 90% of the time

Buck and Eddie have this weird twin telepathy thing going on, due to years of best friendism, and often this is used to rile Tommy up, such as both men pinning him down on the couch and ravishing him without so much as a word of warning.

Speaking of sex, they really do like their kinky stuff (all 3 men love domming and subbing equally) BUT they also love it when they have soft, kissy missionary sex and can just stare into each others' eyes like the lovey bitches they are

Eddie spends the first month of their relationship in a daze because he's loved Buck for years, has loved Tommy for a good long while too and he can't quite believe that he's lucky enough to have both of them

Buck has a weird thing that if he kisses one of his boyfriends, he'll feel off kilter until he kisses the other

Tommy likes woodworking and makes both men a carving of the animal he associates them with - Buck gets a Golden Retriever and Eddie gets a sleek looking cat

Christopher is locked in a neverending cycle of "I don't know, ask your dad" and it drives him insane

Eddie sends Tommy photos of Buck when he falls asleep on shift. They both have a folder of Sleepy Buck on their phones

On the flip side, Buck sends Tommy photos of whenever Eddie doesn't manage his facial expressions when he hears something stupid. They're in a folder in Tommy's phone called Judgemundo

Sometimes all the boys want to do is shove the couches together, make a pillow fort, and watch shitty Romcoms while consuming their weight in popcorn. Tommy always falls asleep during these times and Buck and Eddie tease him mercilessly for it. They find it so cute though

When Buck ends up in the ER, Tommy and Eddie work each other up so badly that Bobby nearly separates them so they'll calm down. He doesn't when he sees how tight they cling to one another, though

[saras-almanac]

So I’ve been sitting on my feelings about the BuckTommy breakup and handling of it for a while, trying to get my thoughts in order. And after a while of thinking on it—and the recent Lou interview dropping making me feel like my feelings are valid—kind of made me want to just blurt them all out and hope for the best. So this is that.

Ultimately the entire handling of the BuckTommy breakup feels cruel. And not just cruel in an intentional way, but cruel in a casually, not even given any thought cruelty, which is worse sometimes. And to be honest, I think that’s part of why I’ve been struggling with it so much. (That and the echoes of Magicians season 4, which if you know you know).

What I mean by cruelty is just the lack of any real effort or care put into this storyline, one that they had previously been handled with so much care and concern and were praised (rightly so) for at the time. It’s the way they introduce this Tommy as Abby’s ex thing, which makes hardly any sense at all, but also feels cruel in the intention of laughing at the invisible string of fate theory between them. It’s they way that they’re 6 months anniversary and not only have they not talked about this, but Buck (Evan Buckley) didn’t get him a gift that feels cruel because that feels so wildly out of character for him. It’s the way they had the break up play into some bisexual stereotypes at best and inherently biphobic at worst by having Maddie suggest Abby turned him gay or that Buck needs to “explore” things to figure out what he wants or that Buck “Doesn’t know what pond to jump back into” of it all. (Not to mention the comments from OS about wanting Buck to fuck—which I’m not getting into because I didn’t read it and as a bisexual woman, don’t feel the need to go and try to find something that might upset me more.)

All those reasons are why the breakup itself is cruel to the characters, but it’s also cruel to those of us watching, and especially to anyone and everyone who loved and/or related to the character of Tommy, who we see walk away much much worse off than when we found him. It’s the way the story (intentionally or not) is framing it like a romcom break up – make up – pining storyline which they apparently are not doing according to interviews. It’s the way they didn’t give any sort of closure to Tommy for the character or for the audience.

There’s a reason that people lose themselves in stories—it’s because they follow certain rules and contracts. It’s expected that stories do not match up to real life because while things don’t have bigger meanings in life or they don’t work out according to plan, in stories, everything happens for a reason. Because that’s the whole point of what you’re consuming. And along with that, emotional moments are meant to feel cathartic in a way, at least eventually, because you were able to see the bigger picture, to feel the finality to things, and to really understand what’s being said and what’s happening. This breakup does none of that and actually seems to have been included and rushed for shock value and that to me, is just shitty, lazy writing.

If you were going to break them up and have no desire for any sort of reunion or closure, why not make it intentional? Tommy could be the one who wants marriage and kids and settling down and Buck internally freaks out because theoretically he wants that but maybe it’s too soon and as much as Tommy loves Buck, he’s not going to wait around and hope that Buck feels the same for him because he’s been hurt too many times like that. Or Tommy could be leaving for another state because he’s no longer going to be a firefighter or needs to go for family reasons or gets a job at a different station that he applied for ages ago and he has everything all set up and isn’t going to ask Buck to leave his entire life for Tommy, so they decide to breakup even if it hurts both of them. In either of those cases, it’s sad and devastating, but at least there would be some closure to it and understanding of it for both the characters and the audience and some peace knowing that at least these two are going to be moving toward happiness in whatever way that means for them.

Instead, what we have, is a hail-mary last-second breakup that comes out of nowhere and feels abrupt and crappy in the way we leave Tommy specifically because we might never see him again. And that is the crux of the issue. Because the way this was written, the understanding is that they are going to get back together or reunion or at least have that final closure conversation—because that’s what happens in stories. We see this type of surprise breakups, breakups where they issue is they love each other too much and are afraid to go further (Athena/Bobby and Maddie/Chimney to name two examples we saw in universe) only to eventually fight to be together and realize that if they don’t take a chance they might never know how amazing it is. So the fact that it’s set up to follow this same path while nearly every interview is telling the opposite, again demonstrates that casual cruelty as well as an inherent failure on the writing. If you have to go in interview and explain what it is you wrote or are telling, then you have failed as a writer. It’s really as simple as that.

This breakup doesn’t feel set up or foreshadowed, it just feels like they added it on because they didn’t want to do anything more with it? And that feels incredibly crappy as a decision to so many people who related to Buck and Tommy and them coming out later in life and all those other things. I’m rambling and on my phone and feeling a lot of things that I can’t fully express right now, but the long and short of it: If this was always intended to be the final time we see Tommy, this breakup is even crueler than intended.

[buckleyblueyes]

yeah, yeah the Diaz family finding out about the Will would be juicy and dramatic, for sure. but you know what I kind of can't stop thinking about? Tommy finding out. Not only an outsider POV, but a queer outsider POV, seeing buddie at their most codependent? oh the drama potential.

Cause, at this point, from Tommy's POV he's dating this guy, and he knows he's really close with his bestie, and with his bestie's kid. but that's fine. they've been through a lot together and Tommy understands the bond that is often forged among first responders. and Buck's bond with Chris is sweet, makes him more attractive.

and then one day Eddie gets gravely injured and is hospitalized, and his boyfriend steps in to take care of his kid. no one in his life questions this. no one discusses it. it is assumed. it is natural. Buck knows exactly how to take care of Chris in Eddie's absence, how to navigate this house that isn't his, how to keep Chris's day to day going smoothly, in spite of it all. Buck is falling apart himself, but he pushes that aside to be there for this kid.

it surprises Tommy, because Eddie has mentioned an aunt who lives nearby, and after a couple days, Eddie's parents have flown in, and yet Buck is still staying with Chris. so Tommy asks, casually, if Chris doesn't have other family who could be taking care of him, if Buck has to be doing all this when he is clearly struggling himself. Buck just shrugs. "I mean, technically, but that's not what Eddie wants. it's not what I want, either."

what does that mean, that Eddie wants Buck to take care of Christopher? how does Buck know? so he prods further, not judgemental, but curious, not quite getting it. finally, Buck explains that Eddie put it in his will. if anything happens to him, Buck gets custody of Christopher. he explains, rather emotionally, how Eddie told him this after the last time he almost died, how Eddie trusted him to be there for Chris, to fight for him.

and Tommy has spent enough time with Eddie to know how much he loves his son, how serious this decision would be. that's Eddie's heart and soul on a silver platter. and suddenly, he understands. he looks at his boyfriend, eyes red from crying over another man. a man whose son he is caring for, whose house he is staying in, and he sees it with startling clarity.

and, in a reversal of bucktaylor getting together at the end of season four after Eddie was shot, this becomes the impetus for the (hopefully amicable) buck/tommy breakup.

[cosyvelvetorchid]

I love the fic idea of the team finding out that Buck and Tommy are dating because one of them gets injured at an incident that both stations responded to and the other one looses their mind when they find out

Thank you for the prompt. I made a slight change to it but I think (hope) you'll like it 😊

If anybody else has promt ideas btw, send to my ask and I'll write some more!

Also this was supposed to be a short one but I got carried away 😂

****

Buck was never a fan of weighted blankets. He'd tried once once but felt like he was suffocating under it and then had to give birth himself to get out. Maddie had told him that he probably just had one that was the wrong weight for him and that he just had to find the right one. Turns out she was right. He did eventually find the right one.

His name was Tommy.

He was beginning to get used to waking up to a scratchy face buried into his neck and a thick muscular arm draped across his chest. Every time he awoke in this position, it was a struggle to get out of bed. Not just because he was in a weaker, sleepier state and didn't have the strength to move Tommy, but also because he didn't want to.

He couldn't remember a time when waking up with a previous partner and feeling this happy. He wasn't concerned about his morning breath that Taylor always complained about or his dishevelled curls sticking out all over the place that Ali laighed at. Or even his morning wood, which Natalia always made fun of him for. He knew she was doing so playfully, but it tapped into that deep-rooted anxiety he had about not being good enough.

But Tommy didn't complain about those things. He'd kiss Buck every morning - Buck had stopped trying to automatically push away from the kiss, declaring that he needed to brush his teeth first because Tommy truly didn't care. He'd sometimes wake Buck up by running his fingers through his hair. As for the morning wood.. Tommy had no business complaining about that as he was just as guilty.

Tommy stirred and hummed into Bucks neck, pulling Buck into him. Buck turned slightly and pushed his back into Tommy's chest.

"Mmmm-morning, babe." Tommy mumbled

"Mornin" Buck replied lifting Tommy's hand from his chest to kiss it. An asteroid hurtling to earth couldn't seperate them Buck thought. Until the asteroid hit in the form of a reminder from Tommy.

"What time is Eddie picking you up?"

He'd forgotten that Eddie had offered to pick Buck up for work while his Jeep was in the shop. Tommy's late night visit was impromptu. He'd had a rough shift and wanted to see Buck. He wasn't planning on staying the night but they were both exhausted, so a quick visit turned into a literal sleepover.

"He'll be here in.." He reached out to look at his phone; eyes squinting at the brightness. "About 30 minutes."

"Boooooo" Tommy complained into Bucks neck and he laughed. "I better get going." He added shifting away from Buck to sit on the edge of the bed. Buck felt a pang of guilt.

"I'm sorry, Tommy." Tommy turned and placed a hand on Bucks chest.

"Hey. We talked about this - it's okay. We go at your pace, remember? If you're not ready to tell them about us, about you then that's okay. No rush, babe." He leaned down and kissed Buck gently. Buck immediately put his hands around Tommy's neck to deepen the kiss. Tommy, through all his strength, removed Bucks' hands and broke the kiss.

"Don't even think about it." He teased getting off the bed.

"Spoil sport."

***

It had been four days since they had seen each other. Buck hated it; felt like that missing piece of himself that he'd found when he'd met Tommy was missing every time he wasn't with him.

"Earth to Buckeroo." Chimney clicked his fingers in front of Buck face. He looked up to see the whole team staring at him from around the table.

"What is with you lately? You're lost in your own world more than usual?" Hen asked.

"Oh-uh.. nothing. Just..uh.. I'm not sleeping great lately." Another pang of guilt fizzed in his stomach. He hated lying to everybody. He knew they would be absolutely fine with him dating Tommy - after inevitably ribbing him incessantly, of course - it wasn't that. It was just that this was all so new to him, and while he was sure about his feelings, he just wanted more time to settle into them.

Bobby made a welcome subject change.

"Don't forget with the Santa Anas on their way it might be a rough one for a couple days so keep alert, rest when you can and most importantly-" He gestured to the table full of food in front of them "-eat."

***

Bobby wasn't kidding. 18 hours into their 24 and they'd barely had time to rest. 3 fires, a tree falling onto a car and house, and a 4 car pile up. No sooner had they returned to the station the bell rang once again.

"Where we going cap?"

"We've been asked to assist Harbor Station with fire suppression at the edge of Angeles forest."

Bucks heartrate immediately raised at the mention of Harbor Station. Realistically, he knew he probably wouldn't see Tommy - he'd be up in the air - but he was still excited.

"What are you smiling at?" Eddie asked him. Buck really needed to tell his face to stop emoting.

"I'm not smiling." He argued. Eddie and Chimney shared a look. Buck didn't notice.

***

"The explosion happened in the factory approximately 6 hours ago and spread to the homes nearby. No deaths so far. Couple of minor injuries and alot of smoke inhilation. The 133 and 127 are focusing on the factory, 144 and 156 are working on the houses and we have 217 Harbor station doing water drops - I need you guys to keep the fire from reaching the tree line. With how dry it's been lately, those trees go up and were looking at a major forest fire." Chief Alonso told them.

With jobs assigned and gear on they got to work. 1 factory, 5 cars and 9 houses - this fire was a beast Buck thought. He wasn't sure the flush he felt was because of the reminder of the wedding or from the fire.

"Attention all units! This is Firefighter Kinard-" Bucks heart flipped in his chest "-217 is inbound with fire suppression. Take appropriate cover, over."

"Copy that 217, over. Everybody under the trucks now!" Bobby commanded. Everybody scrambled underneath the engines as the force of the water falling on top made them shake.

Buck emerged from cover, immediately looking up, trying to spot Tommys plane. He caught the tail end of it and smiled to himself. This time, his mask covering it.

Everyone's radios crackled into life with the words no firefighter wants to hear.

"Mayday mayday! This is firefighter Kinard. We have lost all power. Plane is going down. I-" silence.

For a moment, Bucks' heart stopped. As did everything else around him. No sound, so movement, no nothing. He had only just found him. His life was only just complete. Not now. Please, god, not now.

"This is Captain Nash. Come in 217, over." Nothing. "Firefighter Kinard, come in, over." Silence again.

Somehow Buck found the strength to bring his brain back to life.

"Cap, we gotta get to him-them" He corrected. Bobby went to say something, but Buck didn't give him a chance. "It's Tommy he's.. he was 118, right? Doesn't that make him family?"

Bobby contemplated Bucks' words. Hen, in the end, convinced Cap with a look and a head tilt. She agreed with Buck.

"Hen, you take Buck and Eddie. Chim, you're here with me. Go!"

Buck got into the engine before anybody else. Adrenaline coursed through his body. He didn't know if he wanted to scream, cry, or vomit.

News came in over the radio that the plane had crashed 3 miles away in a field. As the engine turned and raced along side of the field, they got a look at the plane.

It was still intact. As much as it could have been. One wing has broken off and there were holes and scrapes along its sides but no fire. Thank god. Hen radioed for an ambulance as Buck and Eddie ran over to the plane. Its nose was tilted up.

"I can't see inside!" Buck cried out. He tried opening the door but couldn't. It was jammed.

"I'll get the saw, hold on!" Eddie told him, running back to the engine. Buck tried grabbing and pulling and kicking the door to try and open it. A twinge reverberated through his ankle on that last kick, but he didn't notice; too desperate to get inside.

Then he remembered something Tommy had told him once about an emergency hatch underneath. He crawled underneath the belly of the plane and spotted it towards the front end. Thankfully, it didn't take a lot of force to push it up, and quickly, he was hoisting himself inside. He immediately headed for the cockpit.

"Tommy!" He yelled out, voice cracking.

"Evan?" Came the muffled reply. Buck pulled the cockpit door open and saw Tommy still his seat.

"Tommy!" He cried out again, kneeling next to him, eyes scanning the damage. Blood was dripping from a small wound on his forehead. His right hand was holding his stomach as his left held his right shoulder. "Oh my god, are you okay?" His hands hovered over Tommys body continually moving, not knowing where to place them for fear of causing him pain. Tommy shifted, trying to look at Buck and winced.

"Argh! Yeah.. Pretty sure I've.. broken some ribs and.. definitely dislocated my sh-shoulder." Bucks' heart broke a little at the sight as he inspected Tommy's head wound.

"I'm fine, Evan. You need to look at him." He winced again as he gestured behind Buck. Buck turned and suddenly noticed the co-pilot unconscious in the other seat. He'd been so focused on Tommy that he hadn't noticed someone else was there.

"I.. I checked his pulse.. a little up there, but.. but not too much. Breathing is.. is steady, and.."

"I got him, I got him." Buck interrupted over the sounds of Eddie pushing a saw blade through the door. He made quick work of it and was quickly appearing in the cock pit.

"Tommy, man, you alright?"

"I'll live," He replied, hissing in pain. 15 minutes later, the co-pilot was backboarded out of the plane, and Tommy was arguing with Buck about needing his own backboard.

"Tommy you don't know what other injuries you might have! You know the protocol." Buck argued

"You mean the protocol you ignored by leaving a fire to come here?"

"That.. that's different. I-I thought you were.." He couldn't finish sentence. Tears pricked at his eyes and he looked down trying to hide.

Three months. That's how long he had known Tommy, and in that short space of time, he had rooted himself into Bucks heart.

Tommy let go of his ribs for a second, bringing his left hand to Bucks face. He looked up to see Tommy trying to force a smile through his pain.

"I'm really okay." He said softly. "I won't be doing anything strenuous for a while, but I'm okay." A thumb brushed away a tear that had fallen down Bucks cheek.

"You ready, Tommy?" Hen called as she approached the cockpit. Buck sniffed and coughed away his emotions.

"Y-yeah he's good to go." He saw the backboard in Hens' hands. "He won't need that." Hen opened her mouth, but Buck stopped her. "Trust me, I've tried."

***

Tommy had correctly diagnosed himself with 2 broken ribs and a shoulder dislocation. An arm in a sling and a few stitches to his head, he laid on the hospital bed sleeping. Buck was sat, chair pulled as close to the bed as possible (he absolutely would have been in the bed with his arms wrapped around him if he could have), stroking small circles into Tommy's hand with his thumb. His hand lightly gripped Bucks, letting him know he was awake.

"Hey." He smiled

"Hey you." Buck tried smiling back but his face couldn't help morph back into something else. "How you feeling?"

"Like I was in a plane crash." He deadpanned. Buck laughed.

"Any idea when they're going to spring you from this joint?"

"They want to observe me over night, and if a is well tomorrow morning."

"Good. Good." Bucks brows furrowed.

"Whats wrong?"

"N-nothing." Even he would admit he sucked at lying.

"Evan." Tommy argued. Buck let out a breath of air.

"I-i just.. I finally understand what my exes were all talking about. When I heard your mayday call I.. I.. " Tommy squeezed his hand.

"Evan, I'm really okay. It's more than okay right now, but that might be the morphine." He added in an attempt to lighten the mood. Buck allowed himself to laugh. But then Tommy face slowly changed to a more serious one.

"Evan.. I am okay yes, but.. with what we both do.. you know there are going to be more moments like this, right? Where either of us could get hurt? If.. if being with me is too going to be too much.."

Buck immediately stopped him.

"No. No, it's not too much. Being with you is never too much. I know that when this started, I wasn't sure about myself and what I wanted, but I am sure about this. About you - I'm not going anywhere." He stood up and placed a gentle kiss onto Tommy's lips.

The nurse insisted he leave a few minutes later to give Tommy a chance to rest. He would be dichaged tomorrow morning, and Buck would pick him up. He'd forgotten his Jeep was in the shop, but he didn't care - he'd find a way. Reluctantly leaving Tommy, he made his way towards the hospital exit only to find Bobby, Chimney, Hen, Eddie, and Ravi in the waiting area.

"W-what are you guys still doing here?"

"We wanted to see if your boyfriend was okay." Chimney replied

"Yeah he's- what?"

Boyfriend. Chimney said boyfriend.

"You didn't think we knew?" Hen teased. All of them stood with smirks on their faces.

"H-how? When?"

"I knew pretty much from the beginning." Hen told him.

"Gaydar." He nodded.

"No!" She lightly slapped his arm. "It was the incessant questions about how i knew I was into women and what it was like for me coming out. And when your eyes starting lighting up when Tommy's name was mentioned in conversation, I knew that he was the reason."

"I saw him driving out of your parking lot when I came to pick you up a few days ago. Why else would he be leaving your place at 6am?" Eddie raising an eyebrow with a smirk.

"Your sister and I realised when you wouldn't shut up about him." Chimney explained.

"What about you, Bobby?" Buck asked.

"The look in your eyes when his radio call came in. I never would have let you guys go to help otherwise." Buck gave a half embarrassed smile. His eyes moved to Ravi.

"Oh I had no idea until now."

"I-im sorry I didn't tell you guys. I just.. its all so new and.."

"Are you happy?" Bobby asked. Buck sighed and smiled.

"Yeah. Yeah I am."

"Then that's all that matters, kid." Bobby gave him a fatherly hand on the shoulder, and Buck immediately felt all his fear and apprehension melt away.

He was happy. Finally.

[canichangemyblogname]

“The show isn’t going to cater to your fan fiction fantasy 🤣.”

Yeah… no. See, that’s not the issue. 1.) I don’t read fanfiction; can also barely write it, 2.) the issue 100% is that this was very clearly intended to come out of the blue, but because it seems increasingly likely LFJ isn’t returning to the show, there is a lack of resolution. This breakup is result of Tommy’s insecurities in the relationship. He feels he’s gonna get left behind; have his heart broken. The breakup even surprises Tommy. It blindsides Buck, a character who has long been characterized by a listlessness and a lack of defined vision for his future. When his boyfriend breaks up with him because he doesn’t believe that Buck can actually see him in his future, the narratively weighty thing is for the characters to later—after processing this breakup and struggling with competing wants—confront that. But that seems so incredibly unlikely, so it feels more like they kiboshed this for some external reason rather than a narrative one.

Then there’s an issue with the follow through with themes. If this is the end-end— and that seems likely with LFJ’s departure from the show—there’s a lack of follow through on reoccurring themes in the show, like second chances, making one’s own happiness, and how “our people” make life worth it. If the goal is Buck’s return to a 1.0 era, that would be a stark and sharp character regression instead of growth for a character who has come a long way over 8 seasons, which is not narratively satisfying. And when it’s ONLY the bisexual character who ever gets arcs like this, and it’s explicitly because of some “he doesn’t know what he really wants” or “he can’t commit,” then the story isn’t original; it’s a stereotype. There’s also then a very jarring lack of follow through on changes to structure and style they had been planning to explore, like finding ways to integrate a Love Interest into non-romance and non-relationship storylines, being able to expand these characters through professional scenarios together, and that whole thing about Buck getting off the “hamster wheel.” All of these hinted at major structural changes to the way the show writes secondary characters, which would also have major implications for characters like Karen and Josh. This sort of shift, understandably, gets viewers invested in a new era of an EIGHT season show, and disappointed when these structural changes fail (repeatedly, may I add) to manifest.

It’s disappointing because it seems—due to casting changes beyond their control and of no fault of anyone— there won’t be any follow through on this purposefully sudden breakup. Even some upcoming confrontation between the characters could wrap up the tension left in the air. The narrative doesn’t need tropes or some rom-com ending to be narratively satisfying! It can end tragically and still fee resolved.

Most fans’ issue with this is that they did this for the short-term drama, not for the long-term story telling.

—Sincerely, a novelist (a VERY different writing form) who writes tragedies and recently finished a gay romantic tragedy that ends—well—with a break up.

[bugboybuck]

i dont have time to write something proper for day one of @bucktommypositivityweek but i wanted to share a lil drabble/ramble anyway in the spirit of things, so: what tommy loves about buck

tommy grew up in a stiflingly oppressive environment, a household full of anger and coldness. he lived in fear about who he was, what he wanted. he was threatened by his father, his army COs, gerrard, and his survival response was to hide himself away, lock up parts of himself, bury the things he could get hurt for.

his first thought upon getting to know evan wasn't 'wow, here's a perfectly adjusted guy who hasn't had any struggles.' frankly, between his adorably awkward jokes, casually mentioning getting struck by lightning, and trying to kill his best friend with mind lasers over tommys attention, evan seemed like a bit of a hot mess.

but what drew tommy to him so strongly was seeing someone who'd clearly had a lot of weird, difficult life experiences still be like - that. bouncing around on his feet with energy when tommy showed him around the hangar, making dumb jokes, throwing himself headfirst into a basketball game he didn't even like. bringing a brand new date to his sisters wedding. folding tommy into his family nearly immediately, every one of his actions screaming I'm serious about this; no reservations, no holding back.

it only got worse - better - as they got to know each other. it felt like every date they went on, evan dropped some insane piece of lore from his life. his injuries on the job, his disastrous track record with romance, the wild travels he'd been on while finding himself. not too long into knowing each other, the whole thing about his brother, and his parents, and his sister - which explained a lot of the abandonment issues tommy could have seen from space.

and whenever he says something like that, tommys first thought usually isn't marvelling at how ridiculously unlucky Evans life has been. it's how amazing he finds it that evan is still open and happy and throws himself into everything he does head-first, like he's trying to trust the universe to, this time, not let him down.

tommy knows evan isn't all sunshine and roses. he gets downright snippy when he has a to-do list, is more than a bit neurotic, over-anxious about pointless things when tommy's more a 'go with the flow' kind of guy (a 'sure I'll fly into a hurricane for an old friend' kind of guy, a 'I've come out the other side of the shittiest time of my life already, so what have I got to lose?' kind of guy). but evan is - so open. even when he's being annoying, he doesn't try to reign it in. his brain is like a steel trap for facts, he's far from dumb, but when he doesn't know something, he openly and instantly admits it. he's free with hugs and affection but also with a bitchy comment if someone deserves it. he over-shares with no shame. he over-everythings, really. he's so much. and tommy has spent most of his life with not-enough. depriving himself; being deprived. he wants to gorge himself on evans too-much-ness

tommy feels like evan lives his life wide open. and he knows evan has been hurt a lot, for it. but for tommy, who spent thirty years stuffed into a cramped closet space - who felt claustrophobic, trapped, like he couldn't see the sky - Evans openness gives him the same feeling as flying. awe.

so that's what tommy loves most about him. the fact that he's a badass and a blowjob savant who cooks and is built like a sexy brick wall are all just bonuses.

[nqueso-emergency]

on the topic of Tommy not having anyone around him and how that maybe links to his past…

what if we find out that tommy is estranged from his parents (and potential siblings)? possibly because he’s gay and they didn’t agree with that. Maybe Tommy has been a ‘lone wolf’ all these years and has had no one in his corner (or in his posse lol)

That might cause Buck to think, because not only did he not openly struggle with his identity as a bisexual man, but he’s got the 118 as his family even when his biological parents let him down.

It’s such a big contrast between them in both ways but also has similarities: both let down by biological parents, and both spent significant time alone.

The difference is that Buck managed to make a found family with the 118 and create something great, and Tommy hasn’t been able to do that. He’s still wandering alone, and maybe he’s used to that. Maybe he’s going to struggle adapting to life with the 118 in his pocket. Maybe he’s repressed what he wants from life, like marriage or kids, thinking he’s better off on his own or worse, that he’s destined to be alone.

Maybe it goes further and they talk about kids. Maybe one of them says “I’d never do that to my own child” and it prompts the conversation.

If they’re trying to group Tommy in with the 118 like Karen, then this would be a good way of doing it. Altho i can see the bestie boos slating this as “tommy doesn’t want to be with buck, be wants to be buck”, when in fact is actually makes perfect sense that buck would want his partner linked with his found family- he’s never had it before and buck is a very family orientated person. it’s also just very buck like to go that extra mile for tommy and prove that he’s part of the 118 family, because he’s just that nice.

Yea, anon!! I need this!! I need Tommy to think he doesn't belong and Buck does this huge grand gesture because he's Buck.

[colebegins]

i said this all in the tags of abigail’s post, but it was so long that i’m putting it in its own post

i completely understand where this breakup came from, and i am not upset with either of the characters involved in it. i appreciate the slight insight it gives into tommy’s lived experiences and his expectations, as well as the deep seated loneliness that he has alluded to in nearly every episode he has been in. the longing and the hope for connection and family and stability.

so yes, the breakup feels a bit self-sacrificial and self-destructive because he’s doing it now in an effort to protect his own heart. he thinks breaking things off now and dealing with that heartache now would be easier than waiting for it to ‘inevitably’ happen later when he is even more invested. and that makes sense!!! it does not come across, to me, as out of character at all. josh’s great speech even highlighted the scars that come along with queer people’s struggles (pre-glee) with themselves and with their relationships. there are so many experiences that could’ve left tommy scarred that would lead to this feeling that he cannot be buck’s last relationship. so this breakup, while it hurts, makes sense based on tommy’s reasonings, experiences, and conclusions he has come to.

but he also deserves for someone to prove him wrong.

my struggle with this breakup comes from the finality of the post-ep interviews. without the interviews, as a viewer who just saw the episode and is waiting for the next ones to come out without knowing any bts stuff or reading any articles, this would feel like a great path forward for buck to learn what he wants and to go for it — to fight for it.

buck discovering his bisexuality and being in a relationship with a man was never going to automatically solve all of buck’s issues with himself and with relationships, and specifically his place in relationships. but for the past 13 (?) episodes we have seen buck become more secure with himself and his space — the loft has had so many homey and cosy little decor changes, and it has been so interesting to see him feel more comfortable while making his place more comfortable. all of that makes the breakup feel sudden and unexpected, but that was the point. tommy surprised himself too, he even said so. they both felt comfortable and happy, but they also both have their own hangups. but also, they both actually want the same things. they both want love, stability, and mutual care, respect, and understanding. tommy thinks that buck will inevitably, accidentally, not maliciously, break his heart. and tommy does not think he can handle that, which i understand. buck has the opportunity to prove him wrong. but it seems (from interviews) that this is the last we will be seeing of tommy and their relationship.

now to take all of that, and have his next step be to just let this relationship go completely as he uses his old (self admitted) unhealthy coping strategies could be an interesting narrative arc to go down, but, for me, it would really only be worth it if he recognizes this old behavior coming back again, understanding where it’s coming from, and finds security in understanding what he wants. i want buck to feel happy, secure, safe, and loved. no matter who that is with — be it tommy, eddie, or some other person he happens to meet later. no matter who he is with, he is bisexual, and i will always be thankful that we have had this journey of self-discovery with him (which i hope we will continue to see ore development of — would also love if they would actually use the word ‘bisexual’ on the show). buck deserves to have growth and stability within himself and in his relationships, which is very clearly something he wants. he deserves to have that after eight seasons.

at the end of the day though, i will still feel upset for this end to tommy’s story, because he also deserves to feel happy, secure, safe, and loved. i hope he gets that one day. for now, that is what fan works are for.

[peppermintquartz]

Buck/Tommy prompt: Tommy finally realizing he *does* have a family with the 118

It's a Thursday afternoon when he dies.

He's not even on shift, that's the thing; he was in the gym training with a friend, and the next thing he knows five masked figures burst in, shouting at everyone to get down to the ground, and he's shielding Jacob when one of them fires a spray in their direction.

The bullets don't land anywhere fatal so he doesn't die immediately, but that means it hurts like a bitch, and he can feel his extremities growing cold. He sees the five gunmen race out the other door. Jacob is panicking, pressing his gym towel on the stomach wound but not exerting enough strength to hold back the blood loss; Lizzie is screaming at someone to hurry; Tommy thinks, Fuck, on the day I beat my personal best too.

His vision is darkening around the edges. Breathing is difficult. Maybe a punctured lung from shrapnel, who knows?

The coroner will, his brain supplies, a joker to the very end.

He hears sirens. Vaguely, he wonders if who's going to tell Evan.

Sorry, baby. Didn't mean to make you cry. Tommy lets go of the vestiges of the breath he's been struggling to hold onto.

"Tommy?" He knows the voice. Wow, God really has a shitty sense of humor. "Tommy!"

At least that's the last thing he'll hear before he dies. Tommy tastes blood in his mouth, and everything stops.

Death, it turns out, is a welcoming silence.

--

He wakes up in fits and starts.

When he is finally, mostly conscious, he feels someone holding his right hand. And there are two people talking.

"...I think he's back with us again," one of the voices say. "Mr Kinard?"

Call me Tommy. Mr Kinard is my asshole dad.

"Tommy?"

Now Tommy smiles. That's the right name. He blinks, each eyelid approximately seven thousand tons. Dimmed lights, two shadowy figures, one in a white coat and the other in navy.

"Guess... G'd dint like... my crack 'bout. Sense of humor."

"What the fuck," says Navy. He scoots closer and Tommy can see his face clearly. Boyishly handsome, with light brown curly hair, a birthmark. Red-rimmed eyes. "Tommy. Tommy, god."

"Hey." He can't remember Navy's name. "Dry."

White Coat hands over a small cup. Navy puts an ice chip on Tommy's lips, and Tommy draws it into his mouth for the relief.

Evan. Not Navy. Evan.

White Coat comes close, and Tommy wants to protest. He wants to hold Evan's hand and kiss his sad little pout away.

"You can do that later when you're better," said White Coat. He shines a light into Tommy's eyes - ow - and taps him in various places, and then it's just Tommy and Evan again.

Evan stands and leans down to kiss Tommy's brow. "Go to sleep. I'll let everyone know you pulled through."

Tommy wants to ask, but sleep pulls him under.

--

They come to visit, singly or in pairs.

"Glad you're still breathing," Eddie says. He sits on the side of the bed. "Chris says that if you die, he'll hit you with his crutches. And they hurt, let me tell you that."

Hen and Karen visit with their kids that same day. Denny asks if Tommy can teach him and Mara to draw. "I liked yours the most of all the art on my cast."

Bobby comes by, scowls at the bland food, and says, "I'm glad you're still with us, kid." Tommy tears up, and allows himself to cry silently. Bobby only holds his hand and pats the back of it.

Donato and Melton come by with a bunch of balloons, all chosen for maximum obnoxiousness. The bright pink and yellow one that proclaims "It's a GIRL!" is Tommy's favorite.

He gives that balloon to Chimney when he comes by, telling him to give it to Jee. Chimney punches the side of Tommy's leg. "Count your lucky stars it isn't Maddie here. They'd never even find your body."

--

Maddie shows up with Evan the day after to take Tommy home to recover from his three bullet wounds.

"Three shots and you only get three days?" Evan is outraged.

"Flesh wounds except for the one through my lower left abdomen," Tommy reminds him, already tired. "Plus, I signed myself out." Then, taking a nervous breath, he says, "Hi Maddie."

Maddie glares at him. "You're lucky I wasn't the one holding the gun."

Tommy winces, ducks his head. "I'm sorry."

Evan rolls his eyes. "Standing right here, Maddie."

"I warned him about breaking your heart," she says grumpily, but she takes the duffel bag of Tommy's stuff.

Tommy leans back in his wheelchair as Evan rolls him out towards freedom. "How much groveling to make to earn your sister's forgiveness?"

"See how long you'll grovel for mine, and multiply that by ten."

"Oh shit."

"...that'd be about half a hour, I guess."

"For you or for her?"

Evan wrinkles his nose at him, but his smile is still sunshine. His hand lands on Tommy's shoulder and squeezes. "You and I need a good talk. And this time, you can't run."

Tommy dares to touch Evan's hand. "Okay."

[lemotmo]

Question and answer. Their fight is clinging to life right now.

Q. I just don't understand how you could have liked Tommy so much after episode 4 and still refuse to admit that the reason you don't like him now is because you don't like Lou. Tommy changed after episode 4 because their relationship changed. It got more serious as the season went on and we saw Buck change and grow as that relationship grew. He even took back his name as a result of his relationship with Tommy. The show has shown Tommy to be supportive, encouraging, protective and funny. Just because we didn't see specific scenes showing all of those things doesn't mean that the show isn't implying they don't exist. Oliver and Lou don't have the same comfort level of Oliver and Ryan no one cares. Who cares if Oliver doesn't like him? I don't. It's his job to show up and act professional.

A. Okay I'm going to answer your question, but I'm going to get very real with you very quickly. I am not the place for any of your reclaiming his name bullshit. That is not what he did. That is not at all what the Evan thing is about. You know that, and I'm not going to humor your ridiculous attempt to claim otherwise. As for the rest of your ask, where exactly was it shown that their relationship was serious? What episode was that? And did you really say just because the show didn't show us specific scenes of Tommy being the perfect boyfriend doesn't mean they're not implying those qualities are there? What scenes implied those qualities? I'm going to go through this in a very simple way because you seem to be struggling with everything.

My opinion of Tommy changed because the show wanted it to change. We now basically have confirmation that episodes 7 through 10 were rewrites, and the scripts were rewritten, hastily, during the winter break. Tim has all but confirmed that at this point. Their filming schedule also confirms this. They were filming the next episode the week the current episode was airing. Which means the new scripts were written AFTER episodes 4 and 5 aired. Meaning Tim and the writers knew you all liked Tommy. They had that knowledge going into the rewrites. They didn't give him a scene where Buck talks to him about his feelings regarding the name Evan, the audience knows how Buck feels about that name. The show would have absolutely given the audience that scene. The show didn't give him a scene where he comforts Buck during the whole Bobby ordeal. Tommy had one scene in the finale it could have easily been at the hospital. In fact it would have been easier if it had been at the hospital. Instead they went out of their way to work in a deliberately awkward scene. The show didn't write anything for him that was comforting, encouraging, protective or funny. What the show wrote for him was:

"They had Henley's in the 80's"

"Enjoy it while it lasts"

" I certainly hope so" (when Buck asked him if he thought he had daddy issues) and even Tim has long since stopped trying to pass this off as flirty.

I didn't invent that dialogue. It didn't come from a cameo video or a headcanon. The show gave him that dialogue. That dialogue is his canon character. Nothing about any of that is charming as Buck's boyfriend. I have said repeatedly that they're not writing him as a BAD guy. They're writing him as a bad FIT for Buck. And that's okay! You can still like him! You can headcanon the relationship as something else entirely, that's your prerogative, but the show's writing is very clear. I'm following the writing. As for Lou, I am an adult. This would not be the first show I've watched where I didn't like a particular actor/actress. I find Lou gross. I don't deny or pretend otherwise. But I can separate Tommy from him for the sake of the show. That's called compartmentalizing. That's what adults can do. None of this is difficult for me because I'm following the show's lead. You all are the ones killing yourselves trying to force a narrative that doesn't exist. I will also take this time to point out something that was a first this season. This was the first season in the history of the series where Buck had no storyline. Buck had one episode of plot the entire season and it was episode 4. The entire rest of the season for Buck was spent in Eddie's storyline. Not scenes with Tommy. Not scenes building up that serious relationship you speak of. His entire character purpose this season was spent in the Eddie storyline. You cannot build up an outside relationship when you're doubling down on the Buddie aspect. And the show spent the entire season doubling down on that pairing. For better or worse, whether you like it or not, every single partner Buck or Eddie have will be compared to their relationship with each other. And the show puts zero effort into any of their other relationships. Anna was clearly supposed to be Eddie's realization relationship but when Kristen scrapped that she ended up just being awkward as hell. Marisol didn't even have a last name. The only thing we were ever told about Natalia was her fascination with death. Tommy has been no different. The show gave the bare minimum required to indicate that he doesn't fit Buck. His entire dialogue , minimal as it was, this season was dedicated to highlighting that. And that has always been the problem. The show isn't interested in building any relationship for Buck or Eddie outside of each other. And if they were going to do it this was the season to do it. Brand new network, new expectations and a fresh start. And instead they doubled down on them. And in fact made more effort to highlight and showcase their connection. I didn't get that from a cameo or headcanon either. The actual canon scenes told us that. They didn't give Buck a storyline this season so his scenes could be used entirely for Eddie. He wasn't used off screen with Tommy he was used on screen with Eddie. It was a deliberate choice.

As for Oliver, you all are the ones who keep bringing up that Oliver and Lou don't appear to be close. If you didn't care you wouldn't keep bringing it up. They're not required to be close. And we have no actual proof that they outright dislike one another. What we know is they're clearly not comfortable with one another. And there could be many reasons for that. I doubt, given what we know of Oliver, and what we learned about Lou this year, that they have much of anything in common. It's hard to bond when you have nothing in common to bond over. There is also no way anyone involved with the show, outside of Lou, didn't have a problem with what the cameo videos created. They were a completely avoidable mess. A mess that Lou openly encouraged until he could no longer financially benefit from interacting with those people. And Oliver is a professional. He has never shown anything other than completely respectable, professional behavior. But please don't interpret that as him not having a say because he very much does. But I doubt he spends any amount of time worrying about what your opinion of him is. Unlike some he doesn't have to pay for validation.

All right, I have another OP truth bomb for you guys. Thanks once again to the kind Nonny who sends these to me.

I won't add anything to this one, because I think all that needs to be said is explained so beautifully in this post.

So enjoy!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting these anon OP updates instead of reblogging. Don't get mad at me. There is a reason for it and it's all done with consent from the OP. You can find out more about that here.

Remember, no hate in comments or reblogs. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of the anonymous OP’s posts, you can find all of their posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.