#bruce wayne

[sharksandjays]

Bruce is so important to me

[anonyomooose]

teen titans go really just loves shitting on dick LMAOO (the animators have a favorite and it is jason, even if they put a crowbar next to his urn)

[clingonlikeclingwrap]

“Through the Ages”

[incorrectbatfam]

Duke: I love these new WayneTech phones.

Jason: Take one.

Duke: What?

Jason: Take it home. I do it all the time. They have plenty, trust me.

Bruce, entering: Plenty of what?

Jason: Plenty of fish sticks in the cafeteria. He was asking if they're out.

Bruce: If they're all out, I'll tell you they're all out, alright?

Bruce: *leaves*

Duke: Jason, I'm not gonna steal from the company.

Jason: If you came over to my safehouse, you'd see my whole setup is Wayne Enterprises stuff. The electronics, the furniture, the salt and pepper shakers.

Duke: Are you serious?

Jason: Steph, do you ever take stuff home from here?

Stephanie: I take the gala champagne glasses home. Give 'em away as gifts. It's a perk.

Jason: It's like a monthly bonus.

Duke: It's stealing! Tim wouldn't do it.

Tim: Do what?

Duke: Take Wayne Enterprises stuff home.

Tim: No, but I do keep a bunch of clean coffee mugs in the trunk of my car and I bring them in every day for Bruce to check and then I put them back so I don't have to wash the dishes in the break room.

[incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly]

Tim: You know how you worry about me constantly?

Bruce: … Yes?

Tim, trying to ease Bruce into the "i don't have a spleen talk" and failing: Well now you have a reason to

[auroreliis]

What about Reader with Deadpool powers and humor?

Oh Jason would love you.

Bruce would be stressed to the core. Despite the fact that you would probably be fine if you got injured, he is NOT taking chances. There will not be a single scrape on you. He doesn't want it to become a norm for you!!!!!!

And if there is a scrape on you? Then all hell breaks loose. Yeah, you'd better heed his words...

Dick, much like Bruce, is rather stressed, though he's a bit less obvious about it.

Huh? You wanna go run through a field of landmines for fun? Hahahahaa, sure, whatever you say. Now, come on. Let's get you to your room ^^ (You're getting locked in the basement tonight.).

Jason finds it hilarious. What a legend you are, absolutely precious. Would that he could take you out on patrols (You have powers, you'd be fine.). Even Dick is starting to get annoyed at Jay's laughter echoing through the manor whenever you say the most mundane thing ever. Be careful before they forbid you two from spending time together for good.

Tim is trying to relax around you, but he remains on edge.

Oh, hahahah. Yeah. Don't jump out that window, he really doesn't want to board it up...it's his last way to access fresh air.

Stephanie likes spending time with you most of the time, but sometimes you do things that are too reckless for her. Like, she gets it, the powers and everything, but do you really have to tumble down the staircase do get down quicker?

Cassandra is somehow always ahead of you and always behind the corner. You can never seem to get a moment away from her. She's probably worried, but you'll literally be fine, so why is she just standing there and watching you? Also, she's the one who stops you from going to the kitchen and experimenting with your powers using the knives and forks.

Duke is absolutely stressed. It doesn't help that he takes all your jokes wayyyy too seriously.

"WAIT NO- DON'T TRY TO BASH YOUR HEAD ON THE COUNTER TO SEE IF YOU CAN MAKE BRAIN SOUP- Oh...you...you weren't going to? Okay...good."

Damian thinks you're really funny, but he has to restrain himself from laughing at your jokes because he knows that they're made in bad taste.

He sees that Bruce isn't laughing and has to hold it back too, but wow, he really wanted to laugh when you said that you'd rather get crushed by a meteorite than hug Tim's sweaty form.

Also, he thinks that your power is really cool and he would give an arm and a leg for it.

[frownyalfred]

something something about Bruce being anti-gun and anti-killing but when Jason needs him in the middle of a firefight (aliens, or something else Bruce lets him shoot) he's there and bracing Jason's gun barrel with his shoulder when he needs to take a tricky shot. he takes out distractions in Jason's field of vision so he can use his scope without worrying about getting hit. he knows how to fight around guns, how to support a teammate who uses a gun. but he won't with Jason, normally.

[basalting]

after jasons death bruce "accidentally" slips harvey a crowbar while hes in arkham and kisses his cheek and says, voice soft and colder than ice, "make him hurt for me honey"

it takes 6 guards to sedate and drag two face off the joker the next time two face sees him and for the rest of their lives as soon as harvey sees the joker he goes after him like a rabid dog.

[bruciemilf]

Goddd give me Thomas, Martha and Alfred who were completely obsessed with baby Bruce. Martha who’s quiet but solemn affection.

Hand holding, polishing his messy cheeks after he stole dessert from the kitchen, words of affirmation, teaching him how to build confidence brick by brick. “No one is made to be insignificant.”

Thomas who’s bright and loud and bigger than big, who’s just pride embodied. Showing Bruce off at every opportunity. His love is savage by nature.

Squishing Bruce’s face and throwing him around and aggressively kissing him all over his face. Maybe biting into the chub of his cheeks a little. Bruce is like his extra limb.

And Alfred? From the second Bruce took his first breath, he knew. He knew Gotham would drown him in shadow because the little pearl was just too perfect. But he’ll be there.

He was the knight first.

[harmleikurdraws]

:3

[bepoucorp]

some 1966 batjokes in these trying times...

[julymusings]

jason todd with a partner who loves biting him. he's all bulging muscles and soft skin, you just can't help it. those huge biceps? bitten. iron calves? sinking your teeth in. pecs???? CHEWING on them. THIGHS?????? need to take a bite OUT of him

[bloomeng]

still not super sold but magical girl au batman is on his way (wip)

[batsis-reader]

Batsis: Hey Jason Jason: Yes? Batsis: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on? Jason: Jason: Where’s Damian?

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce: At least Sisyphus only had one never-ending task. I adopted like seven and all of them cost money.