#bruce: sorry :(

[everwalldigan]

Bruce: who are you? A new crime lord?

Jason: *takes off his helmet*

Bruce: *squints suspiciously* a new crime lord who looks like a grown up version of my dead son?

Jason: *sighs in annoyance and forces a bright smile*

Bruce: JASON THE NEW CRIME LORD???

[frownyalfred]

love the idea of the Batfamily getting stopped and searched in the family car on the way back to the Manor and everyone’s tense expecting Jason to be the one packing like twelve guns but it’s Alfred? Alfred is absolutely unbelievably strapped up to high heaven? And he somehow manages to talk to the cops out of arresting him or even giving him a ticket?

Bruce is just standing on the side of the road pinching the bridge of his nose. Jason is grinning so widely his face is about to rip. Alfred’s guns are all sitting on the hood of the car and there’s at least three there that Bruce remembers taking away and destroying. Dick is taking pictures on his phone to send to Barbara and trying not to laugh. Tim has Kon on speaker narrating it…

[theredcuyo]

Bruce tries to figure out why his kids tend to fall asleep when they're under his cape, because it's been happening since Dick was Robin and twice with Jason could be a coincidence, but it's still happening by the time Damian arrives, so there has to be something there

It's the weight? They do like they weighted blankets, but that doesn't seem to be it

He's doing experiments, anything but asking, really-

And it's not like they'd actually tell him that the real reason it's not the cape itself, but the fact that to be covered by it they're being carried by him

They're being hold by their dad, and can hide into the little darkness that it makes, making a little warm, safe, comfortable place because of the man who's wearing the cape

Most of the kids cried upon realizing this, they hadn't felt like that in a long time, or ever before

But since then, it was always a nice thing for them, no matter how big they got

Dick had tried to forget about it when he fought with Bruce, but the first time he had to be carried around after patrol together again, it was still there

Jason had almost actually forgotten when he came back, and by the time he was in good terms with B, he definitely was too big for it, right? Wrong, when they got attacked with fear gas and he was the last to be able to get out of it, he found himself in that same old warm place

Tim felt wrong about it at first, not his place, like everything, he remainded himself, but as time went on, he found himself craving for it sometimes, to an embarassing point where Bruce will just start opening his cape to him every. Night. Not that Tim will say no to it. Bruce does that to him, it's almost a routine by now

Cass and Damian have always liked to hide in there for "surprise factor" but if they stay in for longer, and Bruce knows they'll doze off, it's not a problem either

It gets a bit hard when it happens at the same time though

It was one of the first things they all did when Bruce was back from the time stream, a nice way to process the idea that he was back with them-

[demonicsuffrage]

It's so wild when you think about how much of a shift the batkids had after they were adopted by Bruce, because NONE had a sibling and were like-

Dick, who accidentally walked into Tim's room, spotting the robin shrine he has there:

Tim: ...I can explain

Dick, walking out: Nevermind! It's my fault for wishing for siblings when I was a kid

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason: Who the hell tweeted 'skibidi toilet rizz' 56 times from my twitter?!

Tim, salty about the titans tower incident, laptop in hand still open to Jason's twitter account:

Jason:

Jason: I wish Bruce had adopted a puppy instead of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian, fuming after Bruce got them a shared hotel room on a vacation: I miss the days when I was an only child

Tim: Didn't your mom make like two thousand clones of you?

Damian: I would've preferred sharing my inheritances with all 2000 of them instead of you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dick, entering his room at the manor after a patrol and spotting Duke on his bed and immediately shrieking: BRUCE, THERE'S A RANDOM KID IN MY ROOM

Bruce: Dick, this is your newest brother, Duke

Dick: And you gave him my room?!

Duke: Wow, the colour scheme in here is so 80s

Dick: Consider me and you estranged from now on

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Jason, unblock your brother, he is currently crying in the living room because of it.

Jason, had blocked Dick after the thirst trap Dick posted got over 100k views on tiktok and now everyone and their sibling was asking for Dick's number: What brother? I identify as an only child.

[haveihitanerve]

How Bruce gets his kids ready to fight-

Bruce: alright everyone circle up

JL: ????

Batman: nightwing… do you want to do the honor

Nightwing: *tears up* yes.

Nightwing: *deep breath* you gotta, gotta, get your head in the game

Batkids: you gotta getcha getcha getcha getcha head in the game

Nightwing: you gotta, gotta, get your head in the game

Batkids: you gotta getcha getcha getcha getcha head in the game

Nightwing: YOU GOTTA, GOTTA GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME

Batkids: YOU GOTTA GETCHA GETCHA GETCHA GETCHA HEAD IN THE GAME

JL: *concerned*

~

Batman: alright hands in, save the world on three. One two three,

Batkids: SAVE THE WORLD

JL: what the fu-

~

Batman: never back down never what?

Batkids: never give up!

Batman: NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT

Batkids: NEVER GIVE UP

JL: okay they’re seriously scaring us now-

[brucie-baby]

the fact that alfred was the one to put up jason's memorial is so important to me

[wil-fae]

did u know its illegal to pump ur own gas in new jersey ? i didnt, anyways

shoutout to my friend that gave me the idea, love u

i'm cookin up another drawing, so take this for the time being <3

[violent138]

Obsessed with Batkids that came after Jason's death accidentally letting slip things they know about him/talking about him like he's there:

Tim: "Not that he's-- I mean, the way Bruce talks about him, sometimes it's like--

Duke, simultaneously: "We hired a medium last week to communicate with his spirit."

----------------

Steph, accidentally bursting out of the kitchen while Damian is being interviewed: "Someone tell Jason he's an asshole for finishing all the peanut butter." *spots camera crew and freezes*

Damian: "Jason's what I named our new dog. Right Baba? He's the dog we saw last week at the shelter."

Bruce, through gritted teeth: "Yes, I remember saying that we had too many animals already, but anything to make my kids happy."

Steph, awkwardly sidestepping out of the frame.

[noka-exe]

duality of man….

[random-generated-name]

Fanfic idea: Bruce loses a bet and has to go on a TV show as Batman

Interviewer: Batman! Welcome! We’re so glad you’re here!

Batman: That makes one of us

Interviewer gets nervous: Umm so what made you decide to become a superhero?

Batman: Felt it was necessary

The interview continues in the most uncomfortable way possible

Interviewer desperately trying to get more than a few words out of Batman: Do you have a significant other in your life? Are they a superhero like yourself?

Batman: My significant other is a jerk who is the reason I’m on this show… this is one of the worst things ever and I’ve dropped the Batmobile on myself

Superman seems to appear out of nowhere

Superman: I’m not a jerk! I won fair and square!!

Chaos ensues when people realize Superman and Batman are together

Update

anonyomoose wrote this into a fic! Shoved into the Limelight

I’d love to see other people’s takes though

Please don’t forget to credit!

[frownyalfred]

Every goon in Gotham feels bad if they break Nightwing’s nose or knock out one of his teeth. It’s a thing. You fuck up the pretty bird’s face and he’s…fine with it? But it’s not fine. It feels wrong, for some reason. You don’t touch his face.

(Cut to Dick peeling off his domino mask in an alley asking Jason if it’s “broken” and his nose is halfway across one side of his face. Dick seems largely unbothered by this. Jason is seething with rage. Damian is already sprinting down the alley ready to exact revenge on the newbie goon who accidentally went high instead of low on a lucky hit. Dick asks Jason what’s wrong. His nose is so badly broken, there’s blood welling up in his tear ducts. Jason just stares at him, at a loss for words entirely)

[t00thpasteface]

"i've just been working on a... celebrity impression. it's for a sting operation of sorts i've been putting together. yes as a matter of fact it WILL keep me busy tonight—"

[bbc-trolls]

Hc Branch is premium cuddle real estate.

[batfamhastwitter]

Part one of my batfam Twitter au! Stay tuned for more!

Part 1 -> Part 2

[bitter-hibiscus]

There's not a single thing you could say to convince me that Bruce and Tim are gothamites. Look at this fucking map

Bristol is so far removed from the heart of Gotham that there's quite literally no way it shares many, if any, cultural traits with Gotham. That's not even counting the insane wealth disparity that makes the ways of life (and therefore culture and habits and dialects and food) completely incomparable. Tim and Bruce aren't gothamites, they're Bristol brats, and I fully believe nobody in Gotham would accept them calling themselves gothamites. Especially with the size of the Wayne Estate.

Edit bc a lot of you are reblogging this base post instead of the additions in the notes: Turns out I am a victim of fanon and Tim only moved to Bristol after Bruce took him in. Tim can call himself a gothamite. Bruce cannot

[myuuchii]

i saw zachposting's tweet and i had to draw the bros