#bruce: sorry :(

[everwalldigan]

Bruce: who are you? A new crime lord?

Jason: *takes off his helmet*

Bruce: *squints suspiciously* a new crime lord who looks like a grown up version of my dead son?

Jason: *sighs in annoyance and forces a bright smile*

Bruce: JASON THE NEW CRIME LORD???

[frownyalfred]

love the idea of the Batfamily getting stopped and searched in the family car on the way back to the Manor and everyone’s tense expecting Jason to be the one packing like twelve guns but it’s Alfred? Alfred is absolutely unbelievably strapped up to high heaven? And he somehow manages to talk to the cops out of arresting him or even giving him a ticket?

Bruce is just standing on the side of the road pinching the bridge of his nose. Jason is grinning so widely his face is about to rip. Alfred’s guns are all sitting on the hood of the car and there’s at least three there that Bruce remembers taking away and destroying. Dick is taking pictures on his phone to send to Barbara and trying not to laugh. Tim has Kon on speaker narrating it…

[haveihitanerve]

Dick hums the same little tune every time he visits Jason’s grave. When Jason returns as Red Hood his first play is to capture Nightwing, Batman’s star pupil, his golden boy. While he’s waiting for Bruce to react, Jason hums it to himself. Nightwing goes still, a moment before he breaks free of his bindings and pins Jason to the wall, snarling “how do you know that song?” Jason blinks at him a few times before responding, surprisingly, both because he’s caught off guard by Dicks reaction and because, well… it’s the truth. “My big brother used to sing it to me. While I slept.” 

written

[theredcuyo]

Bruce tries to figure out why his kids tend to fall asleep when they're under his cape, because it's been happening since Dick was Robin and twice with Jason could be a coincidence, but it's still happening by the time Damian arrives, so there has to be something there

It's the weight? They do like they weighted blankets, but that doesn't seem to be it

He's doing experiments, anything but asking, really-

And it's not like they'd actually tell him that the real reason it's not the cape itself, but the fact that to be covered by it they're being carried by him

They're being hold by their dad, and can hide into the little darkness that it makes, making a little warm, safe, comfortable place because of the man who's wearing the cape

Most of the kids cried upon realizing this, they hadn't felt like that in a long time, or ever before

But since then, it was always a nice thing for them, no matter how big they got

Dick had tried to forget about it when he fought with Bruce, but the first time he had to be carried around after patrol together again, it was still there

Jason had almost actually forgotten when he came back, and by the time he was in good terms with B, he definitely was too big for it, right? Wrong, when they got attacked with fear gas and he was the last to be able to get out of it, he found himself in that same old warm place

Tim felt wrong about it at first, not his place, like everything, he remainded himself, but as time went on, he found himself craving for it sometimes, to an embarassing point where Bruce will just start opening his cape to him every. Night. Not that Tim will say no to it. Bruce does that to him, it's almost a routine by now

Cass and Damian have always liked to hide in there for "surprise factor" but if they stay in for longer, and Bruce knows they'll doze off, it's not a problem either

It gets a bit hard when it happens at the same time though

It was one of the first things they all did when Bruce was back from the time stream, a nice way to process the idea that he was back with them-

[demonicsuffrage]

It's so wild when you think about how much of a shift the batkids had after they were adopted by Bruce, because NONE had a sibling and were like-

Dick, who accidentally walked into Tim's room, spotting the robin shrine he has there:

Tim: ...I can explain

Dick, walking out: Nevermind! It's my fault for wishing for siblings when I was a kid

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason: Who the hell tweeted 'skibidi toilet rizz' 56 times from my twitter?!

Tim, salty about the titans tower incident, laptop in hand still open to Jason's twitter account:

Jason:

Jason: I wish Bruce had adopted a puppy instead of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian, fuming after Bruce got them a shared hotel room on a vacation: I miss the days when I was an only child

Tim: Didn't your mom make like two thousand clones of you?

Damian: I would've preferred sharing my inheritances with all 2000 of them instead of you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dick, entering his room at the manor after a patrol and spotting Duke on his bed and immediately shrieking: BRUCE, THERE'S A RANDOM KID IN MY ROOM

Bruce: Dick, this is your newest brother, Duke

Dick: And you gave him my room?!

Duke: Wow, the colour scheme in here is so 80s

Dick: Consider me and you estranged from now on

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Jason, unblock your brother, he is currently crying in the living room because of it.

Jason, had blocked Dick after the thirst trap Dick posted got over 100k views on tiktok and now everyone and their sibling was asking for Dick's number: What brother? I identify as an only child.

[brucie-baby]

the fact that alfred was the one to put up jason's memorial is so important to me

[wil-fae]

did u know its illegal to pump ur own gas in new jersey ? i didnt, anyways

shoutout to my friend that gave me the idea, love u

i'm cookin up another drawing, so take this for the time being <3

[t00thpasteface]

"i've just been working on a... celebrity impression. it's for a sting operation of sorts i've been putting together. yes as a matter of fact it WILL keep me busy tonight—"

[violent138]

Obsessed with Batkids that came after Jason's death accidentally letting slip things they know about him/talking about him like he's there:

Tim: "Not that he's-- I mean, the way Bruce talks about him, sometimes it's like--

Duke, simultaneously: "We hired a medium last week to communicate with his spirit."

----------------

Steph, accidentally bursting out of the kitchen while Damian is being interviewed: "Someone tell Jason he's an asshole for finishing all the peanut butter." *spots camera crew and freezes*

Damian: "Jason's what I named our new dog. Right Baba? He's the dog we saw last week at the shelter."

Bruce, through gritted teeth: "Yes, I remember saying that we had too many animals already, but anything to make my kids happy."

Steph, awkwardly sidestepping out of the frame.

[monkesupreme]

cat related revelations...

bonus- panels wo lighting:

[everwalldigan]

You know what would be really funny. If Jason had the most normal/conventional food taste out of his siblings (still very far from regular people’s “normal”), he’s stuck in the manor because of an injury and therefore has to witness the culinary WAR CRIMES his siblings consume for sustenance. Since there’s no Alfred to stop them anymore, they have been running rampant.

Jason: What. The fuck. Is that.

Damian, pouring out a green sludge into two cups: father and I’s breakfast smoothie, or did you hit your head hard enough to forget the concept of a smoothie?

Jason, scooting his chair away clutching his water bottle to his chest: yeah I dont know what nuclear reactive, Gotham harbour concoction you so flagrantly bestow the title of “smoothie” on but keep that shit FAR away from me

Tim: *sits down next to Jason, cracks open a can of energy drink and pours it into a glass, pouring milk on top until it reaches the brim*

Jason, with tears in his eyes looking at Dick for help:

Dick: *shrugs, shoving a fistful of dry cheerios into his mouth*

Jason: *turns his horrified gaze to Cass*

Cass: *grins at him toothily with two heaping plates of a full English breakfast sitting in front of her. He has no idea where she got it from. She is using a set of utensils for each plate.*

Jason: *stands up calmly* maybe I should stop looking for the unstable bomb I lost in the manor the other week *walks out of the kitchen, a few moments later a shrill scream is heard*

[who-always-pays-their-taxes]

I understand the appeal of writer!Jason Todd while he’s the Redhood but I don’t think YOU understand the appeal of writer!Jason while he’s a pre-teen Robin. That young man writes a field report like it’s a mystery novel, and like what is Bruce even supposed to say “Hey, chum… while the pacing of the report was very intriguing, I need you to be LESS detailed about the color of the suspects ‘emerald green orbs.’” No, he won’t!! because Jason may be a bit annoying but it’s a vast improvement from Dick “What happens with the titans is between me, god, and the emergency room on 34th ave.” Grayson who used to just write “fixed it :)” on cases he completed.

[haveihitanerve]

How Bruce gets his kids ready to fight-

Bruce: alright everyone circle up

JL: ????

Batman: nightwing… do you want to do the honor

Nightwing: *tears up* yes.

Nightwing: *deep breath* you gotta, gotta, get your head in the game

Batkids: you gotta getcha getcha getcha getcha head in the game

Nightwing: you gotta, gotta, get your head in the game

Batkids: you gotta getcha getcha getcha getcha head in the game

Nightwing: YOU GOTTA, GOTTA GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME

Batkids: YOU GOTTA GETCHA GETCHA GETCHA GETCHA HEAD IN THE GAME

JL: *concerned*

~

Batman: alright hands in, save the world on three. One two three,

Batkids: SAVE THE WORLD

JL: what the fu-

~

Batman: never back down never what?

Batkids: never give up!

Batman: NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT

Batkids: NEVER GIVE UP

JL: okay they’re seriously scaring us now-

[frownyalfred]

Every goon in Gotham feels bad if they break Nightwing’s nose or knock out one of his teeth. It’s a thing. You fuck up the pretty bird’s face and he’s…fine with it? But it’s not fine. It feels wrong, for some reason. You don’t touch his face.

(Cut to Dick peeling off his domino mask in an alley asking Jason if it’s “broken” and his nose is halfway across one side of his face. Dick seems largely unbothered by this. Jason is seething with rage. Damian is already sprinting down the alley ready to exact revenge on the newbie goon who accidentally went high instead of low on a lucky hit. Dick asks Jason what’s wrong. His nose is so badly broken, there’s blood welling up in his tear ducts. Jason just stares at him, at a loss for words entirely)

[demonicsuffrage]

Bruce showing his kids affection, aka, gift-giving

Tim, who finally got a spleen transplant after Bruce had begged him a million times, returning home from the hospital: Hey Bruce

Bruce, extending papers towards him: Welcome back. These are for you, sign here

Tim: Aren't these are Wayne Enterprises papers

Bruce: Yeah it's your company now :)

Tim: What do mean it's my Company now?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

16-year-old Dick, returning home after winning his mathlete championship: What're the papers for, Bruce?

Bruce: It's your new mansion's paperwork

Dick: What?

Bruce: On your new private island :)

Dick: WHAT?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason, running into Bruce on patrol: Sup

Bruce, with a man in tow: Thank god I ran into you, Jason

Jason, eyeing the guy beside Bruce: Who's that?

Bruce: You couldn't get to family dinner last time because your bike was broken so

Jason: So you got me a guy?

Bruce: He's the new pilot for your new helicopter :)

Jason: My fucking WHAT

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cass, day after she defeated Bruce in training for the first time: Bruce, where's my suit?

Bruce: Oh I gave it away to charity.

Cass: What? Why?

Bruce: I'm getting you a new suit made with triple weave Kevlar and titanium dipped resin lined with memory foam

Cass: Expensive?

Bruce: Just $1,058,600 :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian, in his initial days as Robin, who hadn't killed anyone in an entire month: Good morning, Father, what are you doing?

Bruce, choosing a colour scheme for the new zoo he's about to make for Damian: It's a surprise:)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Duke, listening to music: Man i wish someone would buy me Spotify premium so I can listen without all these ads

Bruce, handing him the deeds of Spotify the next day: :)

[noka-exe]

duality of man….