#bruce&dami

[bruciepennyworth]

new hc: bruce + the batkids + distracting chatter

so this is inspired by the latest chap of @frownyalfred's lovely fic 'hold me loosely' (chapter 4, jason POV) — but i feel like i've also seen other people use this scenario? like, i feel like it's an oddly common recurring bit of bruce characterization in fanfics. anyways, what i'm actually referring to is bruce, when someone around him gets injured on the job, defaulting to listing random facts at them as a way of keeping their mind occupied/off their injury. [fairly often, but not always, it's specifically facts about said injury (ex. "on average XX takes X number of days to heal in a healthy person" "Y% of people will experience XX in their lifetime" etc. etc.)]

...so i was thinking about the thought process bruce would go through in order to arrive on that being his go-to strategy for this kind of scenario, and if you think about it, it actually makes perfect sense? bc i can totally imagine him being like "hmmm so a Normal Person incapacitated in the manner of scenario 259(c)(iii) would likely appreciate/require a distraction from their condition" —> "the most appropriate/comforting distraction that does not hinder my ability to actively continue assisting them is to fill the silence —> "slight problem: i am bad at making conversation" {the genuine kind, not the brucie frivolous-lifestyle-bullshit kind} —> "i can speak about a subject that the injured listener has an interest in" —> "i can speak about a subject that will already be on my mind and will be directly relevant to the listener, as well as assure them that i have the requisite knowledge and am therefore capable of taking care of their injury properly"

...of course, the part that bruce forgets to anticipate is what Injured Party makes of him suddenly turning into an audiobook encyclopedia, and how they might actually respond to that beyond just shutting up and listening to him monologue lmao. thankfully, he gets plenty of practice individualizing his Distraction ManeuverTM accordingly on all of his batkids!

dick: EFFECTIVE. the one this strategy was invented for in the first place — does not deal well with tense silence, also just really loves listening to the sound of his loved one's voices, finds it super relaxing/comforting. used to fall asleep easiest in his family's tent at the circus when he could listen to his mom and dad chat about anything late into the night. he had the perspective to recognize that batman monologuing at you all about the mechanics of the injury you've just received yourself is more than a bit morbid, but hey, he was a bit of a dark-humored morbid kid himself, he doesn't mind 🤷🏽‍♀️

jason: EFFECTIVE. isn't averse to silence in the way dick is, maybe even prefers it mostly — but, when he started out as robin bruce monologued at him when he got injured the first couple times out of habit, and jason definitely noticed and picked up on the pattern. then bruce stopping would have made it weird, so after that he comes to find it comforting in the sense that it's like an endearing habit of bruce's/a familiar routine. so like, he ignores it mostly, but if bruce ever didn't start monologuing at him while he's trying to hold it together he'd definitely notice and be all "hey what the fuck happened" lmao

tim: NOT EFFECTIVE. does not like just listening to bruce growling out mildly-alarming injury statistics, thank you very much. if he can talk, he'll do the talking himself; if he can't, he'll take silence. (also a hand to hold— which bruce eventually learns to provide.)

steph: NOT EFFECTIVE. bruce learns the hard way that steph will interpret him going on about her injury as condescension (which tbf, by definition it kind of is?). his second try is to talk about her performance in the field re: whatever she was doing right before she got injured, which is unsurprisingly received equally poorly. if she can talk, she's definitely talking, and bruce reluctantly learns to tolerate the fact that said chatter is 99% of the time completely unrelated to their current situation. the first time post-war games that he ends up stuck with a steph injured badly enough that she can't fill the silence on her own, in a fit of panicked inspiration he starts telling her about the historical value/sourcing of purple dye, which she teases him endlessly about once she's able to later, but he's just glad that it seems to be implicitly approved of.

cass: SITUATIONALLY EFFECTIVE. cass comes in after tim (and i guess kind of during steph's initial integration into the fam?) so bruce has already been made aware of the possibility that she won't appreciate it. but it turns out that whether cass prefers or dislikes silence varies by the day, honestly, so bruce tends to go for it, and then about 60% of the time he'll get a soft "batman, stop talking, please." (or the equivalent in sign) after a couple minutes lol. (also, even though cass is generally not particularly impolite about it, bruce somehow always feels very effectively chastised by the specific way she tells him to stop: it's like her version of the 'alfred voice'.)

damian: EFFECTIVE. with the unfortunate caveat that if he's capable, he'll certainly be snarking back at bruce the whole time about how he "knows, Father, i memorized the relevant information on these topics when i was five" — but he likes it. he'd never say anything about it, of course, but bruce realizes after some time that being left in silence when bruce is there kind of makes him feel like he's waiting for punishment for being sloppy enough to get injured in the first place.

duke: EFFECTIVE. he doesn't particularly mind silence, but he loves having random general knowledge in factoid form, so he definitely appreciates the monologues. he tends to mostly be content with listening, but he'll also pipe up with corrections occasionally bc he'll tend to have read more recent data.

[ky-landfill]

insp

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Bruce: Tim and Damian did what?

Jason: Well, Alfred said they weren't allowed to see Dick because he was still recovering from last night, and the only way they could stay was if they were injured.

Bruce: And?

Jason: So they punched each other in the face and told him they were injured.

Bruce:

Jason

Steph: I gotta admire their dedication

[bruciemilf]

Every time the batkids get into legal trouble (damaged property fighting a villain, entitled old ladies being mad they didn’t get saved first, Damian sueing a classmate for proprietary rights over an OC he drew in class, the ONLY person they want to be represented by is Harvey.

Sure, TEHNICALLY he can’t practice anymore, but this is Gotham, and the law system is made of tangled wires. If you pull the right one, you’re in the clear.

The hardest plaintiff is Jason, by far. Ironically enough, he has the simplest cases.

“Okay, so, HOLD ON— I have to TELL you to get out of the way when Bane throws an ENTIRE truck your way? If you can’t dodge death, it deserves to have you, period.”

“Lady, I’m not going to save your weird ass dog/frog hybrid science experiment , — who BIT me, by the way, — over an entire bank full of PEOPLE.”

“Oh im sorry I forgot to pay for the overpriced 12 dollar latte while RUNNING FROM WILD MANEATING PLANTS. “

Harvey, pouring a violent amount of vodka in his coffee: your honor, my client just needs a nap probably

[seilnakyle]

Things that would genuinely make Bruce kill himself on the spot:

[24hrsoda]

Cass is like his weird little shadow (and unfortunately too big to cling to him anymore like Damian does)

[ducktu]

Duke: WOW, how can you even say that about my people-

Jason: Hold on, being black doesn't have anything to do with it-

Duke: BLACK? MY PEOPLE ARE BAT VIGILANTES, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?, CAN YOU ONLY SEE RACE?

Jason: *screams*

[mylifeingotham]

[betterthanbatman1]

HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THIS BEFORE

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

It’s not that Jason forgot, per se.

But between smuggling a toddler out of the League of Assassins, trekking halfway across the world, and finding a suitable hiding place that’s also child friendly… well, it kind of slipped his mind that he’s supposed to be… dead.

Something that comes back to bite him in the ass when he takes Dami out for some ice cream and just so happens to run into non other than Brucie-fucking-Wayne

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

Damian and Tim are getting along he sees the suspicious glances shared from Jason, and Bruce.

Even Alfred but Dick can't be more happy his two favorite people are getting along.

Today he watched Tim help walk Titus and he found them last night snuggled together in Damian's room.

He couldn't stop himself from flopping down on top of them he woke up so well rested knowing his baby birds were safe and content in his arms.

Don't get him wrong he knows they are up to no good he's also well aware that for a long time now there has been no real animosity between them.

Every fight is carefully calculated to throw Bruce off their trail.

How either a rouge or some dictator would conveniently go missing right after Damian was caught trying to stab Tim.

He's not an idiot and why would his Robin's hide from him.

Dick Grayson has never denied being a bit of a possessive person especially with his little bird's.

So what if evidence is erased or bloody clothes is hidden he has no problem sharing a secret smirk with Tim.

It really wasn't that hard to dissolve the remains of a couple Animal Abusers to see Dami's smile.

He would do anything for his boys and Bruce doesn't have to know exactly how far he will go.

All that matters is Tim and Damian.

He would happily bury Bruce just to hear a giggle from those two.

But for now he will be a good nightwing and cuddle his birds and make sure he gets in on whatever chaos they are causing this week.

It will also be Dick, Tim, and Damian he will do anything to keep it that way.

[not-another-robin]

Pregnant Madam gives birth in the batmobile.

Who could the father be.......

[caffeinatedvigilantewriter]

Completely inspired by the steamer DamianxDanny AU

So Dani has been traveling the world for four years at this point, learning about culture.

A big part about culture is music

So Dani learned to sing and play instruments from around the world.

And she gets good.

So at the Casper High senior bonfire for graduating seniors and family (Danny and the crew) someone records her singing a mix of traditional songs from countries around the world and posts it under an anonymous account.(probably Wes)

And it goes viral.

People are begging Dani to do a song from their country.

So Dani makes an account for her singing. She wears a mask though, so no one knows her identity (it would be kinda hard to explain her lack of legal papers). The account quickly explodes in popularity.

Eventually Bruce finds it and immediately begins to track her down because the anonymous singer the Ghost (the fan base calls themselves spirits) has Lazarus green eyes.

But because Dani has no legal papers, they most he can find is Danny Fenton, who is male, 18, freshly in collage, and has the singing voice of a dump truck. He’s differently not the Ghost.

Damian notices his father struggling with a case, and decides to help by watching each and every one of the Ghosts video.

And, somewhere along the way, he ends up falling a little.

Now he wants to find Ghost to take her on a date, not interrogate her.

One day, Ghost stops posting.

The entire world is demanding for answers, enough so that the JLA gets involved.

The only person who has any information is the new leaguer Red Huntress, vigilante that protected her town for years with the help of a ghost named Phantom (who had also vanished during that time)

Dani and Danny are in major shit.

The GIW found her and Danny and promptly vanished them off the face of the earth.

The only person who has any idea that they are not dead is Duke Thomas, who was on a call with his childhood friend Danny when he and his sister was taken.

Duke Thomas is currently on the run from the GIW because he know that Danny’s and Dani Fenton didn’t die in the FentonWorks Lab explosion

[bruciemilf]

if I had any kind of artistic prowess, I’d draw Clark with a mild ‘I’m about to wreck shop’ smile, grabbing at his hair, glasses halfway down his nose while helping Jon and Damian with their math homework.

“Pa, they want us to do it THIS way-“

“BUDDY. MATH IS M A T H.”

[devine-fem]

Damian and Bruce bonding over art, Damian’s autism was definitely a gift from his father.

[brie-annwyl]

Can someone please write Tim Drake whump on ao3 without demonizing every other character in Batfam?

Like, give me Tim Drake has had depression since before he knew the Batfam so no one thinks his behaviour has a inherently bad because that’s just how Tim has always been.

Give me Damian and Tim have a mutual understanding of harsh banter and it usually isn’t an issue but Tim is having a hard day and something Damian says on that day just sticks with him.

Give me Tim never paying any mind to the name “replacement” cause Jason now uses it as sort of a nick name but Jason happens to catch him on a bad day and the name is suddenly eating Tim alive.

Give me people not noticing, not because they don’t care, they care so much, but Tim is so good at hiding things from his family that they have no idea where his mental state is. Ever.

Give me Tim just gets so overwhelmed he makes up the excuses that he medically needs sleep or he’ll go insane and just goes upstairs and cries in his room.

Give me Batfam talking about the meds that they take during a talk of medical history and Tim mentioned that he was on depression meds for a bit. No one makes a big deal about it but Bruce does ask if he’d like to be put back in them and Tim says he’ll think about it.