#bruce wayne’s a+ parenting
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“-and you know, the whole Interpol thing.” Tim says cutting through his slice of pot roast. Which was apparently a mistake because when he looks up, all eyes were on him. “What?”
Dick was mid bite, eyes suddenly wide, and Jason was leaning back, looking unfazed as always, if not amused.
“What Interpol thing?” Bruce is the first to speak, brow furrowed.
Tim shrugs. “I mean, it’s not that big a deal. There was this thing months ago but it’s handled now.”
-
Y’know, that time in Red Robin Tim was probably definitely wanted by Interpol. Just another normal Sunday dinner in the Wayne household.
Will I continue this? Probably.
#tim drake#red robin#tim drake is a menace#batman#dc comics#dcu#jason todd#dick grayson#batdad#Bruce Wayne’s A+ parenting#just another normal day#my writing#my fics#Tim Drake was probably definitely wanted by Interpol#jason todd is living his best life at the expense of Tim’s trauma#bruce is a tired dad#ditzy ramblings
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Incorrect Batfam Quotes
*Jason calling Bruce
Jason: B, don’t be mad but…
Bruce: *already done with this conversation
Jason: The steering wheel just fell off the Batmobile. That’s a valid excuse right?
Bruce: …
Bruce: Somehow I don’t believe you, and today this is your problem.
#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect dc quotes#incorrect quotes#batman#dc comics#incorrect justice league quotes#batman & robin#robin#justice league#batfamily#incorrect batfam quotes#incorrect batman quotes#batman comics#dcu#jason todd#red hood#bruce wayne#bruce wayne’s a+ parenting#batmobile#batdad#batfam
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Anger
Nobody had time to register the hit before Nightwing had Batman pinned.
Inspired by sea_change’s The Caretaker on AO3
“No,” Nightwing growled, and Tim instinctively took a step back. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d heard Dick so angry. “You don’t get to touch them.”
“Red Hood-“ Batman growled, but Nightwing cut him off.
“No,” he said, pressing down harder on the arm he had behind Batman’s. “You swore. Not them. Not again.”
Tim looked over at Damian, who was clenching and unclenching his fist. Duke was frozen, flickering in and out of sight. Jason was standing again, staring disbelievingly at the confrontation between the original Dynamic Duo.
“Tim, Duke,” Nightwing said, voice oddly calm. “Go with Damian to grab your things from the Manor. We’re leaving.”
“Wait, what?” Tim asked, barely keeping the hysteria out is his voice.
“No,” Bruce ordered, and it was almost enough to keep Tim glued to the ground except Bruce just hit Jason, and Dick-
“We’re leaving,” Nightwing repeated, ignoring him. Duke tugged Tim’s sleeve, and Tim let himself be dragged over to Damian. “Get your things. We’re going to Bludhaven. You too, Jason,” he added, then turned to Bruce, as Tim robotically followed Duke as he hurried Damian upstairs. “You’re going to stay here. You’re not going to follow us. You’re not going to track us. You’re going to stay here, or you’ll learn exactly why Deathstroke wanted me as his apprentice.”
#dick grayson#bruce wayne#batfamily#Batman’s a+ parenting#bruce wayne’s a+ parenting#batman#ficlet#lapse in writing#I’ll post the drawings of this eventually#anger verse#bat family#Batman and parenthood
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Giving battinson the big birb hug he so desperately needs 🫂
#my art#dc batman#dc fanart#the batman#batman#batman fanart#battinson#bruce wayne#nightwing#dick grayson#red hood#jason todd#red robin#tim drake#timothy drake#robin#dc robin#damian wayne#alfred pennyworth#good parent bruce wayne#let them be a family dc gdi#istg the four of them imprinted on the big bad bat#he's their emotionally constipated support human/batdad
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Bruce 110% knows it’s Jason. Having an adoption problem like that man has, having raised them all to be mask wearing vigilantes AND being the World’s Greatest Detective™️, there is no way he does not know his children on SIGHT
But he also knows where his children came from, understands why it might be hard for Jason to just ask him for money, so he lets them do this. No one is getting harmed by it anyway. That’s why Bruce just gives them the money without The Bat showing up like he usually would
Besides, it means he gets to talk to Jason on the phone so everybody wins
i’ll bet when jason is short on money he calls tim and is like “hey bud can we stage a kidnapping to get bruce to send me ransom money” and tim’s just like “lol yeah fuck it”
#does this mean I’m gonna have to write a fic about this?#yes yes it does#wholesome batfam#bruce wayne’s a+ parenting#bruce wayne’s adoption problem#worlds okayest father bruce wayne#jason todd#tim drake#batfam#batfamily
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Bruce then compliments him more and Dick busts a move. Every. Single. Time. Without fail.
Commission Info / Kofi
#batman#batman comics#batman dc#dc comics#comics#dc#dcu#dc universe#dick grayson#richard grayson#batfam#the batfam#the batfamily#batfamily#robin#dick robin#bruce#bruce wayne is a good dad#bruce wayne is a good parent#good dad bruce wayne#good parent bruce wayne#batman fan art#batman fan comic#art#digital art#artists on tumblr#illustration#digital illustration#clip studio paint#digital drawing
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As Bruce grows older into his 50's or 60's the paparazzi and people crowding him becomes less and he thinks that people have finally decided that Bruce is too old to be attractive or mainstream and he's actually super fine with it and makes jokes( more like sarcastic remarks) about it. But in reality they've grown more freaky cause instead of looking wrinkly and a sappy old man the level of cunt he serves grows everyday,he doesn't look like a snack he looks like a buffet, 13 year olds are using his pics as the cover pages of their mafia wattpad stories, he looks majestic, absolute dilf, we don't talk about the amount of tags he's birthed just by ageing on ao3, and hes still an absolute UNIT, the reason he's not heard about it yet cause the batkids are blocking the shit OUT with all of their will and strength cause it doesn't matter if all of them are full grown adults they're still all like-THATSMYDADGETAWAYFROMHIMHEDOESN'THAVETIMEFORYOUHESBUSYBEINGOURDAD
#bruce wayne#batman#dc comics#batfam#batfamily#the caped crusader#the dark knight#the batman#brucie wayne#batman bruce wayne#bruce is a good dad#bruce is a tired dad#batdad#bruce wayne is a good dad#good dad bruce wayne#good parent bruce wayne#dick grayson wayne#dick grayson#jason todd wayne#jason todd#timothy drake wayne#timothy drake#damian wayne al ghul#damain wayne#damian al ghul wayne#batkids
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Finally read Robins!
I have a lot of thoughts, but I just want to say this panel is the funniest thing I've ever seen:
#addressing Bruce as Batman is such a tell too#hilarious and fucked up#tim drake#bruce wayne#batfam#i continue to maintain that tim being a champion liar while looking like that has given him such an unfair advantage in life#no one suspects this awkward twink with survival skill-level excellence in lying to parental figures is lying to them#not even bruce#my dude this is why you are no longer the world's greatest detective#anyway#I fuckin' love tim drake#robin#robins (2022)
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These are pure gold 😂
We've seen a lot of sibling behavior but what about Bruce's only child behavior
He celebrates his half birthday
None of the kids have had celery since moving in because Bruce hates it
He never learned how to share and when Harley asked to borrow his microwave in med school he started hiding it out of view
He plays table tennis against the wall and the wall always wins
He was voted Most Socially Unaware in the yearbook
In kindergarten, he tried to introduce himself to a new student by biting them like a T-Rex
He didn't know that video games could be multiplayer until Dick moved in and thought the second controller was for in case the first one stopped working
Besides the whole empathy thing, Bruce adopted kids so he can blame the broken vase on someone else for once
He thinks having siblings is the same as office coworkers or Justice League teammates
So the first time he saw his kids wrestling over Oreos he freaked out and called an emergency session with Dinah
Then he lectured Cass for taking Duke's jacket
And told Tim off for hiding the remote from everyone
He always thought inheritance was doled out to family members automatically until he saw Dick, Jason, and Damian fighting over who gets his wristwatch collection and realized he should probably call his lawyer to sort it out
Sometimes when he does laundry he forgets to ask the others if they need anything cleaned and only loads the washer with his own clothes
He also drinks straight from the communal orange juice
And takes unlabeled leftovers without asking
He thinks out loud because he's used to no one overhearing, so that's how the kids find out when, where, and how he planned to propose to Selina
#bruce wayne#batman#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#damian wayne#robin#batkids#batsiblings#feral goblin is a learned behavior#bruce wayne’s a+ parenting#technically nightwing was also an only child#unless we are counting the man child that is Bruce Wayne according to some sources
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Conflict resolution for parents. In my head Jason might have a huge problem with Batman, but mom-Bruce is out of limits.
part 1 here
#fan art#batman#bruce wayne#dc universe#dcu#batfamily#jason todd#richard grayson#red hood#nightwing#bruce's a+ parenting
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Bruce one hundred percent randomly brags about his kids to Alfred, and it started kind of like:
Bruce, ridiculously proud: "Do you know that Dick can speak five languages now?"
Alfred, who was doing the Italian flashcards with Dick just yesterday: "That's very impressive, sir."
#Alfred's there for ninety five percent of everything and wants#to tell Bruce he needs to make friends with other parents so he can get it all out of his system#But Bruce keeps at it forever.#batman#personal#batfamily#bruce wayne#dick grayson#alfred pennyworth
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Superman: I haven’t seen you at the watchtower for a while. Where have you been the last few weeks, Batman?
Bruce: Rehab.
Superman, worriedly: Oh, I’m so sorry- I never knew you struggled with that. If you don’t mind me asking, what for?
Bruce, grimacing as he watches public footage of Signal and Red Hood starting a dumpster fire out of Pro-Joker merch: ..adoption.
#‘bruce wayne is a bad dad’ ‘bruce wayne is a good parent!!’ NO. Bruce Wayne is a wine mom#he has tacky 2000’s beige signs around the house that his kids beg him to take down#wine. sleep. vigilante. repeat!!#jason steals them and puts them in Tim’s CEO office#batman#batfam#bruce wayne#jason todd#dick grayson#superman#clark kent#justice league#batman and robin#robin#incorrect batman quotes#incorrect batfamily quotes#I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE DYNAMIC DUO MOVIE#duke thomas#signal#signal dc#red hood#batkids#hes proud but can’t condone this or else it’ll turn into Duke and Jason burning down entire warehouses next#rehab was Alfred making him sit through lectures on communication
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Incorrect Batfam Quotes
*Tim and Damian are fighting
Bruce: I don’t care who started it, I just want to know, are you going to be part of the problem, or part of the solution.
Damian: Part? I’m going to be the WHOLE problem!
Damian: *runs away
Bruce: I should have let Dick handle this.
#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect dc quotes#incorrect quotes#incorrect justice league quotes#dc comics#batman#batman & robin#robin#justice league#batfamily#damian wayne#damian al ghul#tim drake#red robin#bruce wayne#batfam#dick grayson#nightwing#Bruce Wayne’s A+ Parenting#source: tiktok
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one thing that will always be funny to me about batfam is that jason is forever convinced that dick is bruce's favorite child while all of his siblings know for sure that bruce's favorite child is actually jason
some random reporter: who's your favorite child?
bruce: how DARE YOU imply that i play favorites, i love ALL of my children equally
dick, without missing a bit: oh he absolutely plays favorites, it was jason
tim: rest in peace
#dc#dc comics#batfamily#bruce wayne#tim drake#jason todd#dick grayson#bruce: i love all my children equally#also bruce five minutes later: idc about dick#this is a joke btw#although. i Do think that bruce is one of those parents who clearly love certain kids more
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I think this is why Bats got all his Robins in toddler/pre-teen form.
Batman: Gotham Adventures #26
#tfw you have to help Batman take care of a baby#bruce tries his best as a parent/caretaker#babyman#batman#dc comics#batfamily#batfam#bruce wayne#batman and robin
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Bruce tries to adopt Ellie, who is immediately against it. She keeps throwing him off her trail and he keeps tracking her down. She's honestly concerned, and normally she would handle her problems by herself- but this is Batman.
So when Bruce gets a little too close and Ellie is just so tired... she calls for Danny.
"Mom!"
Cue college student, perpetually tired and overworked Danny "High King Phantom" Fenton appearing from the very shadows Batman normally does himself, seeing the situation and going off at this "clearly older man" chasing his daughter in the middle of the night.
Cue the most elaborate "stop trying to adopt my kid before I adopt yours" series of battles
#danny phantom#dc comics#batfam#batman#dani fenton#danny fenton#bruce wayne#dc x dp#ellie fenton#feel like ellie would be deaged in this one#while danny allows her to travel freely he has a check in system for her#as well as periods she has to come visit so she can go to doctors appointments or for holidays#he also forced vlad to help set up her human identity and she has online schooling#feel like everytime someone in the batfam tries to get info from danny or ellie on how they came to be they both are incredibly vague#but in a way that sets vlad in a really bad light#they dont mention the cloning they just phrase it as “vlad took advantage of danny when he was younger and ellie was the result”#danny complains often about child support and how vlad “still tries to make family ties”#ellie just says vlad lies and its why she consider danny her only parent
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