#bpdblog

[boiipotato]

Not being wanted for years is really sad...

I keep thinking this Girl will be different! She will treat me the way I wanna be treated! I will be loved and hugged tell I can't take it!.

I just want that to be a reality instead I'm lost, nobody wants me?.. single for years, and not a single person has wanted me??

What is so wrong.. I am Goofy asf, I have a tiny crooked nose, I have dark, dark, dark brown eyes, my teeth aren't perfectly straight. But they're close.. I'm trying to understand how a person can decide within a fucking min that I'm not attractive anymore...

This just keeps happening, Compliments on how I'm cute then ghosted or deleted, why??.. why even start my hopes.. why not reply? What the fuck is wrong with me.

[pseudoirony]

i want the angels and spirits (and yall as well - some sorta angel or spirit in ur own right:)) to know that im so grateful for all the dopamine and serotonin and oxitocyn theyre putting in my brain rn. i swear ill learn to budget with them so that the safe is not completely empty in the shit days and im not actually ruining my life on the god ones bc i feel like im invincible! angels thank you

[mysticmoon02]

BPD and the invalidating environment

There are lots of ways an environment can be invalidating.

Caregivers who are unable or unwilling to meet a child’s need may shame them, mock them, ignore them or punish them for those needs.

This will cause the child to feel intense shame towards themselves, and anger at themselves and their caregivers.

There are also ways that an environment can be invalidating and traumatic for the child, even if the parent is abusive or neglectful.

I want to discuss these because there is a lot of confusion and gatekeeping around around the role of trauma in BPD.

I hope that by expanding our understanding of the environment, we can make care more accessible for everyone who needs it.

Touch sensitivity

Infants who are sensitive to touch may be very difficult to comfort, because most caregivers comfort infants by picking them up, holding them, and patting them.

This will make the infant more upset instead of soothing them.

The caregiver may become irritated with them. The infant will likely pick up on this.

Premature birth

People with BPD are more likely to be born prematurely, it is likely that early separation from caregivers, by being in NICU interrupts the infant/caregiver bond.

It can also impact the caregivers feeling of connection to the child.

Caregiver absence

Traumatic or prolonged absence from a caregiver is also invalidating.

Children may be separated from their caregivers because of health issues, immigration, divorce, economic necessity, war, or a variety of other reasons.

None of these would count as abuse, but they still would have a traumatic impact on a growing child.

Not everyone who was born prematurely or has a sensory processing disorder, will grow up to have BPD, but it’s important to think about how those factors can potentially influence BPD symptoms.

Expanding our definition of the invalidating environment will help remove some of the stigma around the bpd diagnosis, and hopefully will make care more accessible.

[yourtoxicbabygirl]

hey bestie

hey bestie,

I know that you won’t ever read this, but there are some things that I would tell you if you didn’t pass away. 

I want to tell you that….

your boyfriend still talks about u every day and he always brings you flowers when he visits you. 

everyone misses you. especially your dad, your sister and your dog.

the new school sucks.

since you are gone, I have no friends and I won’t ever call an other girl ‘best friend’ 

I have my first car now and I have a picture of us in it

I hope u know that but I want to tell you that I love you 

I miss you everyday and I hope you are safe.

[betweencoffeecupsandmoondust]

I feel stranded.

Like it doesn't matter if I had an amazing time the day before, the next day I wake up like "Oh yeah, Hi! you're back to reality and your brain is damaged, oh and you self sabotage all the time and there's no point in going out and pretending to have a normal social life so you stay here and be sad as usual girl"

[decaffeinatedmoonpanda]

Just sick of it all tbh

[highondeep]

when I finally manage to find someone that genuinely cares about me I just gotta push them away and convince them I'm the worst person ever huh?

[kittycuuts]

I WANT TO BE CARED FOR

[mymentaltalk]

SUPPORT 👏🏻 PEOPLE 👏🏻 WITH 👏🏻 BORDERLINE 👏🏻 PERSONALITY 👏🏻 DISORDER.

I feel like while knowledge on mental health is getting better, some mental health disorders are still being massively stigmatised and being left behind. 

When I was diagnosed with BPD, I had NEVER heard of it, however most people who are diagnosed with depression/anxiety know what that is. I believe the term “Borderline Personality Disorder” has quite a negative connotation to it that comes with a lot of negative stigma. The new term “Emotional Dysregulation Disorder” is much more fitting, but the term is only just being used in the medical field, hopefully it’ll be used by all practitioners at some point in the future. Obviously because I’ve been diagnosed with BPD and live with it on a daily basis, I feel really strongly about this and I hope one day BPD will be as well known as depression and anxiety. 

Although BPD isn’t heavily talked about, I know those with this diagnosis are just as worthy and deserving of having their diagnosis spoken about! Having a range of mental health disorders in the public eye will help those being diagnosed feel less scared and isolated, it is so so important to get all types of mental health problems and disorders on the same level as publicity as depression and anxiety.🧠💗

*not my artwork, full credit to the creator (unknown)*

[gaygirlhere-blog]

Bpd feels

This depression is literally dragging me down again. I can't function. Eat or sleep. And when I do sleep I can't wake up. I need the pressure taken off me for a while so I can sort myself out but how can I just pause life? I can't get better from this bad patch while focusing on everything else and I can't seem to switch everything else off... but I'm not dealing with any of it properly because I can't think straight. It's like there is a messed up tangle inside my skull and I wish I could just find the end of the thread and just pull it out, let all the mess just untangle and lead its way out of my brain leaving space for other thoughts. I'm all fuzzy and lost and confused. And I can't cope. I'm not coping. And all the shit that is going on around me is making it worse. I'm stuck again and I'm so mad because I tried so hard to avoid this place. Making any descion with bpd is so fucking difficult because I literally want all or nothing and then when I try and fight that and get an inbetween I'm wrong and I'm letting my self down again. I don't have any more serious conversations left inside me. I don't think I have anything left inside me - but I also have to much. I'm always too fucking much , and not enough. At the same damn time. I hate my self and everything I am because I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough for any one else or myself and I hate it. I hate that I find so much value and clarity and I'm so ok and then I lose it all again and it have to climb back out of this abyss to get it back but in the meantime I'm fucking up my life because I can't function. Fml.

[justanothergirlwithbpd]

What these is about

I started this blog mainly for myself, some what for people whom may know me and wanna understand me, and then for the people whom may have Borderline Personality Disorder and need to know they aren’t alone. With that all being said, posts will not be in chronicle order. The will be random because with B.P.D, I may end up having a bad day and the next day being a thousand times better than before so I won’t be able to carry a story because the emotions will change for me.

Stay tune for the story behind why I even thought about blogging all this.

[the-houseofel]

The Genome of Trauma

The voice I hear when someone speaks of patriotism, is not the voice of the speaker. I hear with tonality what others may disregard: resonant frequencies common in those who carry with them an air of disregard for the world around them. When you hear cries of patriotism, I feel pangs of disrespectful outburst from a voice who demands respect and towards an impressionable life that knows not of the history of this pain. Outardly the stone mountain storms as lightening splits the skies, inwardly I feel the tears of my brother and the feeling that his healing is out of my reach. I cannot hold a grudge to these memories, I cannot forget them either. I hold with these painful days and unbearable, insomniatic nights like many of you hold a memory of a family outting to the ballet or internationally acclaimed opera. My friend, Dick Grayson, was a member of a circus family as well, they were pioneers of the trapeze. Much like they could balance the weight of a human man woman or child a hundred meters above the ground that we walk on, I too learned a balancing act of my own. Do not poke the bear, I remember developing mantras to get myself through these days. “Do not poke the bear” “If we do as he says then he cannot be angry, or enact his vengence.” You see the difference between revenge and vengence lies in the party on the receiving end of such actions. Revenge only warrants justice to the perpetrators of the pain; vengence lies dormant ready to strike at the lonely soul who should be unfortunate enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

[yourtoxicbabygirl]

the most hurtful thing about having bpd is that you’ll keep ask yourself why it had to choose u and why u can’t ever get rid of it. 

it’ll be a part of you forever, because it’s living in there and grew up with you. you are the sickness and you know that. you feel that. 

there is no way out. 

[betweencoffeecupsandmoondust]

I always end up hating myself so bad after my outbursts...like IM SORRY FAMILY, I KNOW I JUST COMPLETELY OVERREACTED...like I FKN KNOW but it's hell for me and I can't control it..

I'm honestly exhausted.

[bpd-matters-blog]

Repost @borderline_journey Journal entry n.21🧠 - Art is often the best therapy for me, being able to translate/ make my feelings into a physical piece of art helps me to cope with them. Todays small drawing was inspired by the act of bottling emotions up. I've noticed I often feel like I overshare and talk too much. And this causes me to start bottling my feelings up. But the problem with that is simple; theres only so much you can fit into that jar untill its explodes open, with the shattered glass (my words) hurting those I love. So instead, if i feel a build up of emotions I start drawing if i can. Sometimes I find inspiration from other wonderful artists, and sometimes I find it within myself from personal experiences. I like to think of it as my favourite act of self care. Its taking time for my mind to pause, focus on only one thing. Which apart from drawing I can never do. My mind is always hectic with memories and feelings. I have an appointment with a pyschartric nurse this monday and im super nervous, but hopefully I can start getting the help I need, wish me luck lovelies! 💚Lots of love, borderline_journey💚 #mentalhealthblog #mentalhealthart #artformentalhealth #bpdjourney #bpdblog #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #eupd #bottledemotions #artoninstagram #mentalhealthcommunity #bpdcommunity https://www.instagram.com/p/Bn1DL7GA4t3/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=egsud5pcp2nc

[highondeep]

today I feel a tiny bit less shitty waking up, but it's still trash