#bpd maybe

[adamsloverboy]

Hi. If you're searching for positivity, this is not it, you may skip if you want.

We're talking about feeling alienated.

Now, my experience may be "contaminated" but I think my point still stands.

Being aroace/aspec sucks when you're surrounded by friends who have partners. By friends who put their partner WAY above friends. It sucks especially when you and your friend used to talk all day, and suddenly, it turns into a message per day. Then one per week.

It sucks because you know it's 'your fault' and that you can't blame them— they're building their life, it's fine if you're not in their daily routine. It's common.

But it hurts even more when, they break up, and your friend begins talking to you all day again. It feels like you're a quick-fix, someone that is there when they feel low, but never when they feel high. Sort of a substitute to love.

And it's a loop.

It also sucks when every one of your friends has a partner and you start to feel less. Sure, it's society's fault for pushing amanormativity, but you still feel like that.

It's funny because your 'inability' to fall in love is a joke among them.

"You're the only one I know who doesn't long/search for a relationship," but you do long for the closeness, for the trust, the mutual caring.

And here it goes. Feeling like you never fit in.

Everyone around you is searching for love, even finding it, going as far as disappearing from your life for it.

And there you stand, wanting to hang out with your friends. Just have fun. But they have other things! They have their partners. They have their partner's family—

Anyone but you.

And they talk about love, they talk about intimacy, and they talk talk talk.

You wonder, is it really that good? Is love worth all this hype?

Why not me?

Why everyone but me?

[cookiethebirdthing]

vent post about dumb brain below the break

its really annoying how my brain reacts when i see a notification from someone i thought i was mutuals but apparently im not? because i genuinely do not care if someone unfollows me if they dont want to be following me or seeing my posts for literally any reason. in fact i would prefer that rather than continuing to see things they dont like

but partially because I'm confused about whether im misremembering or if they did actually unfollow me. and then i start wondering if its a particular post(s) i maid that caused them to unfollow me if thats even what happened. and like, i don't think i would change what I'm posting even if there is such a post(s) and i learn which it is.

i dont know why i get so fixated on it when i feel like i dont and shouldnt care. and theres a good chance im misremembering anyways. not that it makes a difference

ALSO, this isnt meant to be calling out anyone in particular. i genuinely dont want anyone to keep following me if they dont want to, even if we are mutuals. this is just a vent post about how annoying my brain is

[t33th-t00th]

at least I think I just laughed it off

[landmineangelpew]

my parents are letting me get a therapist im so excited to be normal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[explodesyouwithmymind]

I miss certain people so bad it's humiliating. It's our own fault they don't want to be around us anymore. The details are fuzzy at this point but I know it's our fucking fault. I miss having people to talk to, and being that kinda close with people. I wish It hadn't taken the complete destruction of the first good relationships we're had in a long time to realize how fucked up we are at safely navigating interpersonal relationships.

[jade-harley-yuri]

JADE-HARLEY-YURI DAILY ALERT: thinks their friends hate them (they do)

[sleeplessv0id]

maybe in another universe, I can ask for help when I need it.

[honeypleasejustkillme]

who else mourning the person they could've been if they were treated kindly as a child

[simknowsstuff]

its not fun to not be a "fit for the server", even if you have a genuine interest.

like i did a few sessions for owl, they did some personal ones, i did a pre-planned group sesh that was verified by owl, and they helped me with tips and life.

but then they just kinda treated me like a nuisance after i was dealing with grief and emotional swings.

when i left due to an emotionally volatile moment after i tried to stop a religious argument with owl and somebody else, i was told i was making people uncomfortable. but i wasn't told how to fix that mistake or what happened...

when owl finally let me reapply after two months, i was told i just don't fit the vibe, and wouldn't be allowed back in, then i was muted on all platforms.

i wish there was a more welcoming environment for people like me tbh. not even just people with bpd, as i know a few people without it there that were treated similar.

unfortunately this is like one of the only places i've seen with an environment that fosters therian vibes and plural acceptance with relation to hypnosis and its practice.

If you're looking for a hypnosis discord with actually skilled hypnotists and a fantastic community of (mostly) therians and other creatures, consider applying here.

My server is always on the lookout for skilled hypnotists and subjects, as well as critters who simply want to learn or even just exist in a space unlike many others.

The server is heavily hypnosis, therian, dog, and plural-centric, with channels for casual fun, hypnosis-less conversation, and discussion of the mechanical and theoretical aspects of the practice.

We all share information with eachother actively, and the environment makes it almost impossible to not learn more about hypnosis and yourself.

The server is primarily SFW in nature, but has spaces to discuss kink.

Think you might enjoy that? Then...

Apply Here.

...fair warning. What I look for in applications are not things you would be capable of anticipating in large part. Even if you do and manage to intentionally misrepresent yourself, if you are not a fit for the server, you will not last long.

Answer honestly. The only thing that guarantees you not joining is being deceptive. Good luck.

[a-healthy-dose-of-apathy]

there’s a part of me that wants to be completely and utterly alone. then there’s the other part that desperately clings to anyone i care about. i feel rather pathetic either way.

[inutiliacapra]

a look inside my dark and twisted mind.... the thoughts of someone with a serious mental illness.... what i ponder of for days on end....

[hellofeternty]

reading orv again because life as well as my mental health issues has been kicking me in the ass lately

[landmineangelpew]

Introduction 🍓🎀🍰🪽

hii, I'm new to posting on tumblr so sorry if this is formatted weirdly but here's my blog introduction!!

About me

❥ I don't want to use my real name but I don't have an online name so make one up I guess

❥ I'm 16 block if uncomfortable

❥ I discovered jirai kei in 2022, I liked the fashion so I did more research on it and really related to the mental health aspect and the stereotypes associated with it, I've been fixated on it since

❥ I highly suspect I have bpd (I know something is wrong with me and all of the bpd symptoms and experiences that I've researched resonate painfully hard) but I'm not diagnosed, if me liking or reblogging your bpd related posts makes you uncomfortable because I don't definitively have bpd please tell me and I'll stop

❥ I'm a lesbian (not relevant to blog but what else do I put here)

❥ I have the most predictable relatable character list ever you'd be able to guess all of them by looking at me

Posts

.•*🩷this blog will revolve around...🩷*•.

❥ jirai kei/general jfashion

❥ misc other media (nso, sanrio, vocaloid and maybe other things)

❥ mental health & personal vents

Other interests

❥ project sekai (especially nightcord especially especially ena)

❥ persona (minus the parts where you remember the target audience is weird lonely men)

❥ madoka magica

❥ death note

❥ junji ito

❥ style savvy (but I actually like fashion dreamer)

❥ makeup (this is too broad but idc)

DNI

Idk what to put here but a dni seems necessary so... If you're a pedo or zoophile or etc dni with life in general, also if you're racist or any other ist that's pretty bad

I have a personal grudge against genshin players, you can interact but I don't like you, same goes for t*ktok prsk and nso fans

🍓🎀🍰

🩷🩷That's it thanks for reading 🩷🩷

[deadassjsawhitegirl]

"bpd is this" "bpd is that"

can i just say bpd is more than a favorite person? i understand that part as ive experienced it but thats not all there is

as someone who doesnt currently have a "fp" i hate that thats all bpd tumblr is. js shit about your feelings towards other people, i understand but oh my god i wish there was more. it feels like romanticism of the mental illness that people are gifted the option of assisted su!c!de for. and thats not fucking right.

im sorry if this sounds rude or anything but it just makes me feel really alone in my illness and thats a shitty feeling to have, esp as someone who has bpd.

[adustoflove]

No one understands guilt better than a girl with emotionally immature parents