#boy gorg

[uwudonoodle]

Ben Folds Five "DO IT ANYWAY" f. Fraggle Rock [Official Video]

This is your sign. Do it anyway. The Fraggles believe in you.

[ohno-the-sun]

Sol

[three--rings]

I'm really disturbed by the fact that I'm seeing people post S2ep8 of IWTV still talking about Lestat as an abuser and Louis as a victim, period end of conversation.

Because I feel like we are explicitly told in ep7 and 8 that that is not the case but some people haven't adjusted their thoughts yet.

Now this is a show explicitly about the unreliability of personal accounts and what we see on screen is often proven not to be how things happen. So, obviously things are always up for debate. But.

We are shown the extended scene of what happened before Lestat flew Louis up into the sky to drop him. In S1 we saw that scene from Claudia's perspective, and she just heard crashing and shouting, and then saw Louis thrown through a wall by Lestat before the whole flight thing.

Ep 7 we are shown Lestat's version of events which are Louis physically and verbally attacking him over and over, slamming Lestat into things, while Lestat begs him to stop, warning him that he will fight back and he's afraid of hurting Louis, and Louis merely eggs him on. Then we get Lestat turning the tables and throwing Louis through a wall.

Now, obviously this is Lestat's version and probably a bit biased to be sympathetic to him. But Louis admits Lestat's version of Claudia's turning is the more correct one than his account and he admits to portraying Lestat intentionally as a villain in the interview, so...well I think the show is telling us that our impression from S1 is at least not the whole story.

Ep 8 underlines this with the scene with Louis and Lestat when Louis apologizes for the way he acted to Lestat in the past, saying "I tried to make nights awful with you. I wanted you to suffer."

We also see him throw Armand into the wall in this episode, which I get people feel Armand deserved, but I feel like the conversation around that has been weird as well. Like, people talk about that being a sign that Louis is stronger than Armand, as if physical violence is impossible from someone who is weaker than their victim. But this is also another instance of Louis using physical violence against his partner when (justifiably) angry.

Look, abusive relationships are complicated. Mutually toxic ones even more so. Reactive abuse is a thing, when an initial victim becomes violent or abusive in response to abuse they've received. It's complicated, and I speak from personal experience.

But I very much feel like the show is SCREAMING at the audience that things are not simple and that no one in this scenario is blameless, ESPECIALLY not Louis. He's not blameless in the case of Claudia. He's not blameless in the destruction of his relationship with Lestat. He's not blameless in his relationship with Armand, for all it's built on a lie, because he entered it to fucking make Lestat mad for god's sake and that's a terrible foundation for a relationship.

Raglan James says Louis is the one to really be afraid of. Louis at the end of the season with his "I own the night" speech. Much of the second half of S2 is ABOUT this.

The entire heartbreaking scene with Lestat at the end is Louis owning his part of the responsibility, and that's huge. Lestat accepted his responsibility and apologized on stage in Paris, and now Louis is as well.

So yeah, I think some people need to rethink their attitudes when they call Lestat Louis's abuser and Louis a battered wife. I read that and I go wait, we're not gonna interrogate that at all?

I of course feel at this point I have to put in a bunch of disclaimers about how this is not an anti-Louis post or trying to excuse the violence done by Lestat, blah blah but honestly some people who can only see things in terms of Good and Evil and Guilty and Innocent are never going to appreciate that kind of thing anyway. I just don't know why those people are watching this show, which is entirely about nuance and complicated interpersonal relations that are messy and resist easy analysis, BY DESIGN.

[g0r3wh0r3xxx]

*ੈ✩‧₊i just saw a really pretty dress and started crying wtf is wrong with me *ੈ✩‧₊

[twipsai]

pov you were camping my superjump mark but i dodge rolled and splatted you lol get dualie'd

(PLS RB IF YOU LIKE!!! it really helps me out! :D)

[hq-erotic-hypnosis]

Good Feedback on Green Noise

"Wow. That knocked me on my ass!"

- A Listener

I've been getting a lot of good feedback on the green noise (which goes into full swing around the 11 minute mark on my latest release). This seems like a good time to remind everyone to NOT operate a motor vehicle while listening and to make sure they have nothing to do but sit back and enjoy.

[hannahssimblr]

I spend three hours wandering around the estate looking for Goose. I've checked every front garden, every hedge and flower bed and under every car, looked inside bins and up trees by the time I'm forced to contend with the fact that I haven't confronted the railroad tracks yet. I don't. I never pluck up the courage.

I can’t fathom it, being the one to find him there, sweet Goose with his little kitten paws and soft pewter fur. This thought that I hadn’t even considered until Michelle spat it at me is tormenting me now as I forlornly wander the evening streets, calling out the name that I’m not even sure he knows to answer to yet. 

I stumble upon Jen in a little park we used to drink in when we were fourteen. She’s been out looking too, evidently, but has had enough and is sitting on the ground gazing out over the last russet streaks of sunset over Dublin Bay. 

“Have you given up?” I ask her. Her eyes are clouded with sadness 

“I have a feeling he’s gone, Jude,” she says. I feel a lump forming in my throat. “He mightn’t be. He might come back, you know, cats are known to show up after being away for days, weeks, months even,” this is the sort of bargaining a person who refuses to accept the obvious truth gets too involved with, and the kind I’ve been doing with myself the whole afternoon, thinking that maybe if I imagine Goose’s return with enough conviction I will magic him home again, but Jen, for once does not match my idealism.

“He probably doesn’t know where his home is yet, he’s too new.”

“Yeah,” I shift some loose gravel with the toe of my shoe. “Jen, I feel so awful.”

“I know,” she says, and holds her arms out to me to pull me to the ground and wrap them around me, “It isn’t your fault, it could have happened to any of us.”

“I ruined the entire day with my stupidity.”

“Shh, stop,” gently fingers stroke my hair at the nape of my neck, “you just made a mistake, it’s human.”

“Did I ruin your date?”

She pauses, “It’s okay, I don’t think she realised it was a date, and it's probably for the best.” 

The wind rustles through the trees around the park, and I feel chilled with the knowledge that change is coming. The school year is ending soon and now the future lies unavoidably ahead of me, a path completely untrodden. 

“You’ll find someone else to take to the debs,” I tell Jen, peering at the side of her face as her short crop of chestnut hair is backlit by the sunset. “You should have been the first person to get a date anyway.”

She gives me a half smile, unconvinced, “there are like, four lesbians in our year including me.”

“Out lesbians,” I point out, “You never know.”

“When I go to college it will be better,” she says firmly, “school is just destined to be shit, romantically, I mean.”

“In all ways, I think.”

She just laughs. 

“This stuff is bullshit anyway.”

“What is? Love?”

I rub my arms where goosebumps are rising with the cold. I should have worn a jumper. “Yeah, you’re not missing out on much.”

A silence follows, one that feels deliberate, but I venture into it anyway, “Michelle and I had a bad fight earlier.”

“I heard.”

“Us shouting?”

“Mm.”

“Sorry.” I wipe my nose which is running from the cold with the back of my arm. “It was terrible, we both said awful things.”

She just circles her hand on my knee in a vague gesture of comfort.  

“Sometimes it feels like she’s trying to hurt me, you know what I mean? It’s like she has all of this bad stuff stored up that she wants to, like, unleash. It’s so vicious. It seems like she really wants to dig her nails in and leave a mark on me, and then I get so defensive, like, because talking it out doesn’t work, I have to shout, and I have to be horrible too so that she’ll even react to me.”

“We all say things we regret when we’re upset.”

“Yeah, but it’s so destructive. I come away from it all feeling like shit. Like, this isn't who I am, I’m not a person who fights. At least I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be up there saying these things to her, but I can’t stand there and let her say them to me either.”

“Yeah.”

“And I worry a lot about what things are going to look like after this year is over, like, with college and stuff,” even mentioning it makes my stomach feel tight, “like, um, how she wants us to live together and all.”

“And you’re nervous about that?”

I sigh, “Well, I don’t know, it makes sense to do it, right? She thought we could get a little place near NCAD, and we’ve been looking at houses online, and… I don’t know. The idea of being around her all of the time, like, twenty-four-seven, sharing a bed, eating every meal together, walking to college, it makes me feel claustrophobic, and then I worry that if I feel that way now, how am I going to feel when I’m actually doing it? Surely it’s not supposed to feel so terrible, right?” I prompt her when she doesn’t respond, “Jen? What do you think?”

She pauses for a long moment, toying with the aglets on the end of her boot laces. “I think that you’re asking me for an opinion I’m not prepared to give you.”

“...right.”

“We agreed, I agreed with you both that I’d never talk to one about the other. It’s not fair on me and I don’t want to feel stuck in the middle of it.”

“But-”

“You’re both nice people and I love you both so much, but when you are together you are absolutely horrible. That’s all I want to say.”

I don't know how to respond to that, so I don't, I just sit in bad feelings and wish for the millionth time that my brain was normal enough to make good choices on its own and not beg them from other people.

I sniff again, though this time I’m not sure if it’s just because of the cold. “So, um, the acceptance deadline for those other colleges is coming up.” 

“The foreign ones?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you still going to turn them down?”

“I promised Michelle that I would.” 

Jen’s shoulders slump, all of her does, like someone has let the air out of her, but she just says, “Alright.”

I feel the teeth of my genuine desperation for her opinion, her approval gnawing at me. I just want the sage words of advice she’s withholding from me, “Is it a mistake? Like, if I reject their offers? Would that be the stupidest thing I ever did?”

“I don’t know.”

“I worked hard, you know? I really put everything I had into those applications, I gave them the best that I had and they loved it, they said really nice things about me in the letters, and sometimes, like, I think I’ll die, or something, if I don’t leave Dublin. But then there’s Michelle,” I fist the front of my hair in my hand, “and the things at home, and I don’t know what the right thing is, whether it’s hurting myself or hurting everyone else…”

“Jude,” Jen suddenly grabs hold of my face and forces me to look into her eyes, “you have to do what feels right, okay? I’m not going to tell you what to do. Like, just… you need to fucking search within or whatever.”

“Uh huh. What does that entail?” 

“I dunno!” She lets me go and stands up, brushing dirt from the back of her jeans, “C’mon, it’s cold, we should go home.”

“Uh, I was kind of hoping you’d be able to solve me, actually.”

“No, this time you can solve yourself. C’mon, up!” She presents her hand to me and I let her haul me onto my feet. 

“Ugh, Jen,” I say, feeling myself sinking back into a melancholy hole again, but she links my arms and brusquely walks me toward the playground gates with all the pep of a middle aged Sunday morning power walker. “You know what? I think we could both do with something nice to make us feel better.”

“What do you mean ‘something nice’?

“Like, I dunno, an ice cream or something.”

“What time is it? It must be after nine.”

“Yeah, so? I was thinking of that place with all the weird flavours, do you remember that?”

“Yeah, but it’s all the way in town. Effort.”

“You can drive, can’t you?”

“You want me to drive? Jen I hate driving.”

“I think you’ll do it for me.”

“Why’d you think that?”

She eyes me sideways, “After what you put me through today, hm?”

“That's manipulation.”

“No, it's payback.”

“Fine. I’ll go get the car.”

“Really?”

“Yes! Come on, before I change my mind.”

Beginning // Prev // Next

[aroacespacerock]

holy shit I love dead boy detectives

[ringo-starr-daily]

@george-harrison-daily

okay now which of you guys are starting blogs for the other two

[skxrbrand]

Completed Khazaan commission by Rancidd_Mutt! Definitely going to hit them up again 👀👀👀

[guiltreservoir]

i have a small question, who gave eddie babygirl diaz permission to be so extra pretty princess this season because i am. just wondering

[yuridovewing]

Keep thinking about the Darktail twist and man I still think that Onestar was such a random choice for “has an illegitimate kid”. when imo Blackstar makes wayyyyy more sense. Like, consider, Blackfoot has a fling with Smoke when he’s still in exile during TPB. Smoke is wayyy more dedicated to him than he is to her, he actually looks down on her for being a kittypet.

By the time she’s pregnant though, he’s rejoined ShadowClan under Tigerstar. And oh man. Xenophobia is rife and alive and outspoken. And when Smoke tells Blackfoot about their kits, there’s no room for weakness. He lashes out at Smoke, maybe even outright attacks her (remember this guy killed Stonefur) and threatens her, telling her to either get off of his land forever or he’ll take care of their kits himself.

She’s either pregnant at that point or she’s had Darkkit and was trying to introduce them. Maybe the latter cause Smoke would not be coming back to ask ShadowClan to take him. Plus it’d be a formative memory to Darkkit that sticks with him for the rest of his life. Instead, she runs back home, Darkkit in tow. Warning him as he grew up to never go into the forest, lest his father find him and get rid of him.

Smoke lives out the rest of her days paranoid and distressed, Blackfoot knows where she lives. It gets worse when she hears that he’s become leader and could potentially send cats after her. Darktail grows up, angry and bitter that his mother was traumatized so. And he vows revenge. He trains himself, learns from the remnants of BloodClan how the clan cats fight. When Smoke dies, he leaves their twolegs to follow the clans, long gone at that point.

Revenge has consumed him, dedicating his life to unleashing his wrath onto Blackstar and his followers. He fantasized about how he would gut Blackstar and rip out each of his nine lives, dangle his dirty little secret over his clan and threatening their oh-so-fragile pride. He was going to make sure he would be considered Blackstar's worst mistake- that would be his end.

He sets up the Kin among some of the cats he trained with, some being former BloodClan cats. At first, it's formed in honor. He wanted to live with his friends was all, and this way they'd all be fed and healthy. But it slowly took a dark turn as Darktail still prioritized revenge above all else. He quickly grew manipulative, and while he still valued his cats, he began to view them more as pawns in a game of chess. A game he was always playing against Blackstar- even if Blackstar didn't know it. He took in vulnerable cats, promising them power and prestige, when he really was only concerned with how they could benefit his schemes. It takes him so long to get to a place where he can release an onslaught on his father’s clan.

… But when he arrives, Blackstar is dead. He drowned a year before Darktail arrived. He was buried, ShadowClan moved on, that was that. Darktail felt numb. It was all for nothing. Revenge on Blackstar, the thing that had driven him for so long, was gone. There was nothing left... except for the clan that Blackstar had built.

And it seemed plenty of the young, slighted, and immature apprentices were struggling at the change in power as well.

That was fine. He'd come this far. If he couldn't have Blackstar's skull, the rest of his clan would have to do. And as he witnessed the other clans' pride, he figured they could go as well. To hell with them all. He was gonna terrorize the clans just as they had terrorized his mother so, and he was going to relish every second.

So TLDR: Blackstar's crimes, and Brokenstar and Tigerstar's reign, still haunt ShadowClan to this day in the form of Darktail. Something about how when you die, some of your sins will be passed on to your loved ones who will be forced to deal with it in your stead. Darktail, try as he might, will never be satisfied with his revenge. He is now aimless, lashing out at everyone in sight because he missed his chance to kill the one he hated most.

[thiagodasilva]

okay I think a conversation needs to be had about Mo Salah

he’s hot as hell

[mymarifae]

i love seeing other cat owners' posts about how their cats wake them up because they're hungry. heh. not me. mine wake me up because they're really annoying and love to bother me

[waitmyturtles]

I am SUCH A SUCKER for coffee in BLs.

[thebeastofblackmoor]

REAL the non-kidz bop version of thrift shop sounds sooo weird to me because of the rocking_tags.amv video