#bonus points if i get paid more to be of more use

[drvscarlett]

About You Pt 17

Sebastian Vettel x Webber!Reader

Summary: Everyone knows about the history of Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber. But there's a well kept story within the paddock about Sebastian Vettel and another Webber. This is that story.

A/N: and were back. were so back after getting this chapter deleted. trigger warning for this chapter as it contains blood, car accidents.

About You Series

2014, Circuit de Monaco

From this point of view, one could overlook Monaco as a whole. There was the sea that is fleeted with yachts, specifically docked there to watch the Grand Prix this weekend. Then, the clustered hills filled with trees and apartments, the composite of it can be eye-catching or an eyesore in Y/N’s opinion. And of course, she simply can’t miss how the balcony has the perfect view of the start of the Monaco Grand Prix. She can hear and see the Formula 2 cars dash around in their practice sessions.

“What do you think?” Sebastian walked in with a smile.

“This is just gorgeous. I mean I thought that I have seen amazing Monaco apartments when McLaren or when Red Bull booked us but this…”

Y/N lets out a loud ‘woah’ to conclude her statement.

It was no wonder that this apartment seems empty and unoccupied. If Y/N has to guess then the price for this place is skyrocketing. This was a dream location for anyone who wanted to stay in Monaco.

“So why did you call me here?” Y/N asked. The Red Bull driver has texted the location and she is still confused to Seb’s interest in this place. It was gorgeous but she knew how Sebastian explained several times that he was not one for the Monaco lifestyle.

“I bought it-”

She was mildly surprised with that. Only mildly because Red Bull has clearly lined up Sebastian’s pockets well especially after winning continuously for several years. Even today, Y/N pretty sure that despite the lack of win streak, Sebastian is still getting paid generously.

“-and I want you to have keys for it”

“I must have misheard that Sebastian” Y/N stated.

A key was laid out in her palm. It has a keychain of the checkered flag with an imprint of Y/N’s name as well as the date today. It contained two keys which has been poorly labelled with Sebastian’s handwriting on a plaster tape. One was scribbled as Mon, an acronym for Monaco while the other has Mar.

Maybe there was too much car fumes or petrol in Sebastian’s head which is why he is going crazy for giving Y/N this apartment so she tries to hand back the key. He just shakes his head in disagreement.

“This place is yours as much as its mine” Sebastian insisted “I knew you love Monaco and I want you to have a place to go whenever you feel like staying here.”

It wouldn’t be that bad to have a place to go to here in Monaco. However, there was this certain guilt that this was too much and she doesn’t think that she deserves this. It was something that Sebastian caught on, he could read her so well.

“I thought of you that’s why I bought it. You love the sea, you love the races, and bonus points because you have Nico and Lewis as neighbours”

The last statement elicited a laugh from the two of them. Sebastian wanted to convince her because this was a literal vision in his head that he wanted a safe space for Y/N to go home to. England and Australia may be her home town but it doesn’t give her the privacy that she needs. Monaco, on the other hand, is quieter and more peaceful despite the extravagance.

“Okay but I’m still going to text you when I’m going to go here”Y/N settled.

“Perfect”

“Now what is Mar?” Y/N’s curiosity got the best of her “And please tell me that its not a key to a boat in the Marina”

“Mar is Maranello”Sebastian clarifies.

It was time to move to the second surprise that he has for Y/N. He had been so excited to tell her about this but he had to keep it down until everything was settled and signed. Last week, he signed the contract.

The girl was confused. It didn’t make any sense to why Sebastian would be in Maranello when the Red Bull headquarters is in Brackley. Only Ferrari resides in Maranello, why would Sebastian be there?

“Sebastian Vettel, you are Ferrari’s new driver?”

There were talks that Ferrari would change their driver lineup but she haven’t heard Sebastian’s name being thrown in the hat. She couldn’t contain the excitement that she was feeling and leaned into hug Sebastian. Driving for Ferrari is a milestone for Sebastian especially when he used to idolize Michael when he drove for the red team.

“When are you announcing this? Who else knows?” Y/N quizzes.

“No one yet”Sebastian grins “I wanted you to be the first one out of the signing team to know”

This was an exciting news and hopefully one of the first of the many happy memories shared in this Monaco apartment. Things are finally turning for the better.

2014, Red Bull Ring

In a very media-centered event, it surprises a lot of people that there are places in the Grand Prix where any forms of press and media is not allowed. Of course, this varies depending on whose home turf they are racing on. Mercedes and McLaren definitely have bigger private spaces in Silverstone, just like how Red Bull have their own private lounge reserved for their private guest.

Jenson sticks out like a sore thumb with his McLaren merchandise. He seems to stick out even more with the way that he stands there and just gazing at the view in front of him. Sebastian, Y/N, and the little baby Margarette—if Jenson didn’t know any better then he would have guessed that they are an actual family. He was lucky that the media weren’t there to catch his reactions because they could catch Jenson spilling the truth about his feelings.

“Jenson is that you?” a voice broke Jenson out of his reverie. His head turned to see Hanna with a plate of fries.

“Hello Hanna, nice to see you around”Jenson politely greeted.

He honestly couldn’t fathom why Sebastian has invited her over. He gets it if Sebastian wanted to see the kid but to add this woman that has been the cause of pain of Y/N, Jenson could not help but scoff. His emotions does not seem to be hidden well as Hanna shifted nervously.

“I know you are probably thinking that I don’t deserve to be here and I think that too”Hanna explained “But Y/N invited me to take Marga because Seb is missing her”

“Y/N?”

The woman chuckles, “Yeah, I can’t believe it as well. She has been nothing but nice to me. I know that she have every right to hate me but she has been a supporting pillar and someone really wonderful to Marga”

They glanced back to Y/N, who was playing with the baby. She was gently rocking the baby and it giggles as it tries to reach her hair. Sebastian, on the other hand, was sat next to her with a loving gaze on the two of them.

Jenson couldn’t feel but sigh and ask if it was him in Sebastian’s place then would Y/N be as happy as that?

There were no need for words but Hanna have realized from the small interactions how Jenson is deeply inlove with Y/N. It felt like a déjà vu because that was the way she used to look at Sebastian. Her actions to force things to happen has ruined a lot of things for Sebastian and she was glad that things are still repairable.

“I know that look” Hanna pointed out “You love her”

It was something that Jenson cannot rebut. He had always thought that he was good at hiding things especially with his flirty attitude and his chill self. This was the first time he was seen for what he feels.

“That obvious huh?” Jenson nervously replied.

He had tried his luck once upon a time and he ended up in the friendzone. He took the friendship if that is all that she could offer just so he could keep her in his orbit. There is a part of him that knows that no matter how many girls he meet, it was always Y/N who occupies his heart. Confessing is not an option given how complicated things are and how telling will only do more harm than good.

“We were in the same position a year ago” Hanna understands Jenson “All I could tell you that it is best to move on so it won’t hurt you anymore”

A year ago, Hanna would have not suggested that. She would have urged Jenson to confess so he can end up with Y/N and Sebastian could end up as her’s. The past few months have been a huge period of moving on for Hanna. Maybe it’s the birth of her child that allowed her to refocus the unreciprocated love to the child. She also understood how much Sebastian and Y/N means to each other, she wouldn’t do anything more to damage them.

“That’s easy to say but so hard to do”Jenson mutters.

Hanna’s hands patted Jenson’s shoulders. It was a comforting thought that someone gets how he is feeling and maybe Hanna can serve his inspiration that maybe he could move on from this unrequited love.

“Everything will be alright Jenson”

2014, Silverstone Grand Prix

Jenson Button and Assistant Webber involved in a freak accident.

Jenson Button was going home after a celebration of Lewis Hamilton’s win in the recent Silverstone Grand Prix when he and assistant, Y/N Webber collided with a ten wheeler truck. The driver of ten wheeler truck has been drunk and lost control of the car. It was of sheer miracle that Jenson was not driving the car during the time of the accident because he was at the backseat drunk and sleepy. Due to that Jenson is able walk away from the accident with just some bruises and ready for the next Grand Prix. Unfortunately, Y/N who is behind the steering wheel received more dangerous injuries. Suffering from a head trauma and crippling injuries, Y/N was rushed to the hospital where she is placed in Intensive Care Unit.

The bright light and the white aesthetics of the hospital was a stark contrast to the blood that stained Jenson’s hands. His hands were shaking knowing that this blood was not his but from the girl who is currently fighting for her life. Tears were stinging his already bloodshot eyes as he watched the clock tick painfully slow.

Its already been a hour since Y/N was rushed inside. The doors of the operating room remained close and Jenson doesn’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

Scrambling footsteps screeched in Jenson’s hallway. He saw his fellow drivers and Mark. All of them equally frazzled with the worry and fear being the top ones to show.

“What happened?” Mark was quick to ask.

Honestly, Jenson was not much of a help. He was lying down and he just remembered how Y/N was reminding him that he has to get up early to apologize to a Ronnie in the morning. He was too dizzy after having too many tequilas and then a bright light followed by a loud crunch.

“Holy shit, is that your blood?”Lewis noticed “Man its all over you”

“It’s Y/N” Jenson muttered. He remembered how his hands and his clothes were stained when he tried to pull her out of the wreckage.

The reality of the whole situation sinks in. Mark, was supported by Nico and Lewis, as he falls down on his knees. Sebastian was pacing back and forth while Jules seems to be praying. They were all a mess as they await updates about the girl. As Formula 1 drivers, they should have been used to accidents and collisions because it was a risk that comes with their work. It hits a little different when it happens to someone who is not a driver and someone very dear to them.

It took another 40 minutes before a doctor appeared in front of them.

“How is my sister?” “Is she doing okay?” “What happened to her”

The flurry of questions was something that cannot be stopped. The doctor’s expression was not giving away anything if the operation turned out positive or negative.

“She is stable now” the Doctor explained “We stitched up the head wound and hopefully she will be awake in a few hours”

A sigh of relief erupted out of every single one of them. They were just so relieved that she survived the whole crash.

“But there is something that you must know about her..”

2014, Hockenheimring

“Seb, you have to focus” Y/N reminded him “This is your home race that we are talking about”

“I know but quali don’t start in about…” Sebastian knows he has 10 more minutes before it starts but he grins “20 minutes”

The grainy camera could showcase Y/N sitting on her bed. The balcony must have been open hence the sunlight gracing her face and shining light to the newfound hollowness in her face. Her busted lips and the stitches were a constant reminder of the tragedy that she survived.

With all those imperfections, Sebastian continues to stare at her lovingly across the screen. His thoughts remain the same that Y/N is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen.

“Sebastian, don’t make me call Christian”Y/N warned.

The German driver just raises his hand in surrender, “I’m just checking in you sunshine and I really miss you more than ever today”

It would have been really nice if she was here during his home race. Maybe he would have taken her for a drive to his parents’ house or they can get to explore some German countryside just like when they were younger.

“I’ll be there and recover soon”

“And I’ll be waiting. You take your time” Sebastian assures.

The door creaks open and Y/N could be seen turning sideways. She pans her camera to show Sebastian the visitor.

“Hey Mark!” Sebastian greeted.

Honestly, the retirement of Mark was a perfect timing. Sebastian couldn’t always take care of Y/N so Mark was placed in charge during race weekend. The Monaco apartment was big enough to have guests to stay over so Mark is currently camping at one of the guest room.

“Seb aren’t you supposed to be in your car right now?”Mark made a tsk tsk sound.

“I am but I wanted to talk to my best girl here” Sebastian reasoned out.

Y/N couldn’t hide the flush of red in her cheeks, “now you go and race! I love you!”

“I love you more sunshine”Sebastian replied

2014, Hungaroring

“That’s a terrible finish for Sebastian”

Mark’s comment from earlier has been ringing in her ears for the past few hours. Sebastian has started from P2 and ended up in P8 so Mark’s statement was not shocking. She has also seen the articles and the people in social media talking about Sebastian. Usually, people can blame the car or the strategy but today, Daniel won from P4. People are pointing fingers that Sebastian is past his prime.

She was fidgeting with her necklace again. She wonders if maybe her condition is a contributing factorin the recent poor performance of Sebastian.

Of course, Sebastian didn’t blame her for anything. He has always been supportive, kind, and lovely throughout this recovery journey. However, she feels like she is burdening Sebastian and distracting him from his true passion.

Speaking of the devil, the face of Sebastian shows up in her screen. Her hands hesitated to pick it up but she eventually pressed the green button.

“Hey! I have been so caught up with the meeting and I was only able to call now” Sebastian’s voice was cheery. If Y/N didn’t watch the race then she would have thought that he won with that smile on his face “Are you okay sunshine?”

“Yeah, tell me about your day”

Y/N is definitely lying but she no longer wanted to burden Sebastian. She continues to listen on with a forced smile on herself as she tries to fight the plaguing thoughts in her head.

2014, Autodromo Nazionale Monza

Seb: I know you dont like me much but we have to talk. Call me when you get this.

Mark: Hey mate. I wanted to talk to you about Y/N. Mark: Ring me up when you are available.

The notifications stared in front of Jenson for a good five minutes. It wasn't a difficult decision to ring up Mark because a) its about Y/N and b) Sebastian isn't someone he adores a lot. Although Jenson was hoping that Mark wouldn't pick up since its the late hours of the night.

"Jenson, its been a while"

Indeed it has been. Jenson can count how it had been almost 5 weeks since that accident. Heck,he could even count the hours and minutes that have passed if asked about. It was something on his mind 24/7 slowly eating him alive.

"Mark,how are you doing? How is she?"Jenson asked immediately.

"She is not doing well"Mark admits.

"But I thought everything is alright?"Jenson was confused.

He may or may not have been avoiding Y/N out of the eating guilt. However,he have heard from Nico that she was doing well. As far as he knows, she is staying with Mark in the apartment in Monaco.

"Her physical inabilities is taking a toll on her mental well-being"Mark explained "But I think she has been taking it too hard on herself."

Mark continued to talk about she has been pushing herself to the limits and wanted to expedite the whole process of getting back on her feet. He also mentioned how Y/N is clouded with guilt that she is a huge problem and a burden for everyone.

"But she isn't a problem or a burden"Jenson interjected.

"We know but she doesn't believe me" Mark sighs.

"What are we going to do about it?"

There was nothing that he wouldn't do for Y/N. Even if guilt was eating him up, he would have been an invisible figure being there for her. He would do whatever it takes just to bring back the old happy her.

"We are going to the next Grand Prix. Sebastian is making arrangements because he thinks maybe Y/N will feel better if she is surrounded by friends and the family she knows."

The Singapore Grand Prix was two weeks from now. Jenson immediately made a mental note for this one. Maybe he will busy himself with some media team bullshit or maybe he will have to arrive late for the free practice.

"I'm calling to let you know so you won't run away Jenson" Mark added "I know that you blame yourself for what happened but please, she misses you"

"You know me too well Mark"

"We're arranging dinner, promise you'll be there?" Mark continued to push.

"Anything for her"

2014, Marina Bay Street Circuit

When the news broke out about Y/N returning for Singapore, almost every driver arrived early to Singapore so they could attend the dinner arranged by Mark. Y/N was a beloved figure in the grid and even if she was not as close to everyone in a Nico, Lewis, Jules, or Jenson level—they all greatly miss her.

It was a good thing that Mark booked this restaurant for the night as people would have been really curious why the drivers gathered in one place.

Mark received a message from Sebastian that they were all there. He gently pushed the wheelchair to the elevator and texted him back that they will be there in a minute or two.

"Are you ready?" Mark wondered. "Its nice to get out of Monaco"

Y/N hummed in agreement. The glass elevator has a view of the whole Singapore nightlife. She could see the fireworks up in the sky to celebrate the upcoming weekend and the busy streets. It brings her a small smile that this was just like the old times.

The minute that the elevator opened, Jenson was standing there in front of them. Mark watched as Jenson immediately hugged Y/N and they were immediately crying.

Mark knew that if there was anyone who took this harder than Y/N then it was Jenson. He thinks he haven't seen Jenson interact or message after Y/N was pronounced safe from disaster. He knows how Jenson have blamed himself and thinks he should have been the one driving behind the wheel so this would not happen.

It was a joy to see them together again.

"I'm really sorry if I couldn't be with you a lot"Jenson continued to apologize.

"There is no need for that Jense"

"You might have needed me and I left you by yourself. I felt so guilty by the whole accident that I thought that its better to leave you alone"Jenson explained.

The hug just got tighter. There was no need for Jenson to explain himself because Y/N already understood. Many people forget that the two of them have been involved in the accident. Y/N's damage was physically present but Jenson's wound was something invisible to the naked eye.

"It's alright Jenson, were alright"Y/N assured.

It wss a good thing that the two met here rather than inside the restaurant. They wouldn't want the tears to get in the way of reconnecting and meeting with other friends.

"Let's get inside"Jenson wipes his tears "Everyone is waiting for you"

Before Jenson could open the door, Y/N shouted to wait.

"Mark,can you help me up?"Y/N asked.

Mark looked at her unsure. They have been through this several times in the Monaco apartment. Even if she tried to stand up,she normally can't walk because of the pain let alone stand for so long.

"Are you sure this is a good decision?"Mark was trying to find reason.

"I don't want them to see me in a wheelchair"Y/N admitted.

Mark gently helped Y/N up with Jenson assisting her as well. It was a team effort to keep her standing up but she is bearing most of its weight because of the excruciating pain that is hitting her.

The doors were gently pushed open and the drivers' attention turned to the newcomers of the restaurant. It made Sebastian shocked to see her standing there and trying her best to walk. He immediately went to assist her but he stops on his track.

"You stay there"Y/N instructed when Sebastian was three steps away "I'll do my best to get there"

It was quite painful for Y/N to take the first step and loosen her grip to her human crutches. Her teeth grinded each other as she tries to hide the pain away. She focused her attention to the hand of Sebastian reaching out for her.

"You can do it Y/N" Jules cheered on.

"Just careful steps"Sebastian encouraged.

The whole room seems to stand still with awaited breath as she takes another step towards Sebastian. It was like seeing a miracle for them and they felt speechless to see such feat. Some of them couldn't help but have tears in their eyes with how emotional this moment is.

"You've got this,one more"

Pain was shooting up but Y/N did her best to take another one. Her hands gripped Sebastian outreached hand before she could fall. Sebastian, gently held her close.

"You did it. You did it sunshine"Sebastian whispered.

The feeling of tears were welling up in her eyes. She doesm't know if this was because of the pain or maybe the longing that she felt for Sebastian. It didn't help when she looked at Sebastian and found his eyes tearing up as well.

There was a moment of comfort and peace that they both have been lacking the past few weeks. Everything was okay again now that they are back in each other's arms.

2014, Suzuka Circuit

Even if Y/N walked a few steps in Singapore,she was still advised to use the wheelchair. Her physical therapist have been trying to up her routines so she could walk again. For now she was stuck in a wheelchair and Sebastian don't mind pushing for her.

But today, Sebastian is quite busy so Jules have to sub for him.

"The media is going crazy with the news" Y/N observed. Today was the day that Sebastian was announced to replace Fernando Alonso and will start driving for Scuderia Ferrari. The media have been interviewing Sebastian as early as 8 in the morning and now its nearly lunchtime.

"I know, people say Sebastian may be the key to getting the championship back to Ferrari"Jules said.

"That puts a lot of pressure in Seb then"

"I'm sure he can handle it"Jules assured.

Jules pushed Y/N to the track. Their grid walks were something that Y/N have terribly missed. It was a good thing that its a bit cloudy so Jules wouldn't have to bring an umbrella for them.

"Speaking of Ferrari.."Jules opened up "I think I have to let you know that I may be replacing Kimi in 2016"

Y/N's eyes widened in surprise. She felt like she was in a deja vu moment when Sebastian first told her about the Ferrari contract.

"Ohmygod that sounds amazing Jules!"Y/N beamed.

Jules seems to be a little bit unsure of himself judging by the nervous smile that graced his face.

"Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself but you know I'm already thinking about it. Would the people cheer for me when I announce that I signed to Ferrari"Jules glanced at the Tifosi crowd chanting Sebastian's name.

Y/N knows how sometimes driver can doubt their ability. She believed that they are one of the best drivers in the world because it isn't easy to be a Formula 1 driver. The skills,the reaction time, and even their quick thinking is an asset that not many people have. They often downplay themselves when they felt like they are performing poorly.

"You have got to be confident Jules. I'm sure the Tifosis would love to have you in their team"Y/N comforts "You just have a shitbox that can't compete right now but Ferrari would give you a beautiful machinery and I swear you will be up on the podium"

It was a beautiful picture in Jules' head. Any kid would have dreamed of driving for Ferrari but winning with Ferrari is a different kind of euphoria. He glanced at her and he hoped that he could see her cheering for him someday when he is at the top of the podium.

"Thank you little sister"Jules said "I'll make you proud someday"

"You already make me so proud Jules"

READ: Statement regarding Jules Bianchi crash.

[lautakwah]

love hitting annoying customers with a sharp "i AM the manager" it always shuts them up for a second bc they see a 154cm/5'1 baby-faced upstart and then have to contend w the fact that im in charge and theyre not gonna get what they want (i already told them no)

[99liv3s]

A Birthing Show

(Wrote in collaboration with @ashmallow)

The two girls waddled onto the small stage, applauded by the 10 members of the audience: 7 men and 3 women. These 10 had paid a considerable amount of money for exclusive access to what the girls were offering: the chance to witness and control both their labors. Monica was a short, pale, black haired girl with brown eyes, thin except for her noticable pregnant belly, her hair in a low ponytail that hung over her right shoulder. She was wearing a gray maternity gown that seemed to enhance her pregnancy features. The other girl, Ash, had shoulder length brown hair, a bit darker skin, and her eyes were brown as well. She was a bit taller than Monica, but not by much, and though she was a bit less skinny than Monica, Ash's bump looked considerably bigger. Ash was wearing a small shirt and a skirt, which protruded outward over her large belly.

The girls took their place in front of the waiting audience, showing off their protruding bellies, as the ten audience members settled in their seats. "Welcome," Monica said to them, smiling. "In a few moments, the pills the two of us ingested will put us into labor, and the show can begin!" "As the ad stated, you will all be here to witness us labor and give birth simultaneously, and as an added bonus," she pointed toward two tablets lying on a table in front of the audience, "Those pads there will control how our labors play out, giving all of you complete control of this experience!" "My name is Monica, and my fellow partner in birth is named Ash!" "We hope you all enjoy the experience, and thank you in advance for your generous payments!" On the stage were two chairs, which the girls both sat in, as well as two beds. The two of them rubbed their bellies absentmindedly as they smiled at the crowd. “I’m so nervous” Ash whispered to Monica, looking down at her big 34 week belly, wondering what the audience would do. "Me too." Monica whispered back, smiling at Ash as they waited for labor to begin, while the audience chatting with each other. One woman spoke up: "So, how does this even work?? How can we actually control your labors?" Monica smiled at her, rubbing her belly slightly. "The pills we took contain little microscopic machines that will settle into our lower bodies," Monica answered. "They're connected to the pads, and can do all kinds of stuff once they jumpstart labor!" The woman, beaming, nodded and thanked Monica for her answer. A minute later, Ash felt a twinge in her lower abdomin, and a sharp intake of breath indicated that Monica was feeling the same thing.

“Oh oh oh! I can feel contractions starting!” Ash gasped out, panting, though they were not very strong because it was still the early stage of labor. However, Ash could tell her cervix was trying to open, and she felt a lot of pressure building up on her lower back, radiating out towards her crotch and legs. "Oooh, I can too!" Monica panted out softly, clutching her belly as she felt the pressure start to build in her pelvis. The small crowd watched with smiles of wonder and entertainment on their faces. "Can you two touch each other's bellies?" Asked one guy in the back. In response, Monica and Ash started rubbing each other's bellies all over and bumping them gently together, giggling a bit. Then, they could all see Ash's belly visibly squeezing and relaxing. “Ahh… ahh… the contractions are getting harder!” she cried. Monica grimaced as she felt a contraction hit her as well. "Ooohh," she moaned out, as several people of the audience leaned forward, two in front grabbing the pads. "Yeah, mine are too!" “I think they’re making the baby more active!” Ash whispered as she felt her belly twist and turn with movements, as if the baby was turning upside down over and over, spinning inside her. Monica looked over at the watchers, seeing them tapping commands into both pads, and then a sudden surge of pressure hit her pelvis. "Uugghh!!" She cried out, clutching her bump, as Ash moaned from the pain of the active baby. "Uugh, let's... sway together," Monica suggested.

Ash held the sides of Monica's hips while Monica held Ash's, and they slowly swayed together to ease through the pain. Seeing the girls trying to relax, the audience was not satisfied. Suddenly, Ash's 2 cm dilated cervix became 5 cm dilated. “Ahhhhh I can feel the head trying to go through!!!” Ash moaned out. "B..breathe Ash... breathe through... aaggghhh!!" Monica began, but cried out as her pressure worsened, and she involuntarily spread her legs. "N..no... we mustn't push...yet... oooohh..." she groaned, clutching her belly as she felt herself opening quickly as well. The audience smiled at the girls' discomfort, and tapped more commands, causing both girls' water to break all over the stage. Panting, the two of them slowly scrambled to the nearby beds, and lowered themselves onto them. “Ahhhhh I can feel the head going into my birth canal!” Ash screamed out, holding her big belly in pain. “Ahhh… ahhh…” Her belly was contracting intensely, but one of the audience pressed a button, and her contractions grew even harder. “Ughhhhhhhh…” Lying on the other bed, Monica spread her legs and moaned loudly, squirming in pain. "Oooohh god, this hurts!!" She moaned. "The... p... pressure..." "Ash, it hurts!!" The two girls looked into each other's eyes, both locked in the pain of their labors and their moaning.

“I want you girls to strip naked.” An audience member said after they reached a calm point between contractions. The girls nodded, then they both stood up and reluctantly took off their clothes, revealing their big contracting bellies and swollen breasts, as well as their dilating vaginas. Ash's tits were milky, and as another contraction took her, more milk squirted from them. Still moaning and mewling, both girls laid back onto the beds completely naked. They knew it would have come to this sooner or later. As audience members played around with the tablets, Monica let out a loud, drawn out moan, clutching her belly as a huge amount of pressure hit her pelvis. Meanwhile, Ash felt her dilation increase rapidly, and the pressure on her hips increased as the baby's head painfully pressed against her cervix, which barely opened. Becoming quite aroused by Ash's milk squirts, the audience made her boobs start lactating more. Streams of milk ran down her breasts and onto the bed as she moaned loudly in pain from the dilation and contractions. "Can... we come and help suck that up?" A woman in the audience asked. Ash nodded, and half the watchers scrambled onto the stage, trying to drink up Ash's milk.

"Aaaahhh, it hurts so bad!!!" "OW OW OW AAHH I CAN'T AAAGHH!!" Monica yelled out, clutching her belly as she felt the pressure and pain ram her cervix hard. After a few high loud moans, she screamed out, "OOH, I GOTTA PUSH!" Ash felt her cervix dilate rapidly as well, and the heaviness of the head started to fill her vagina. The audience murmured in satisfaction to the girls' suffering. “Ahhhh I can feel the hair!” Ash screamed out, reaching down and feeling a sliver of the baby’s head trying to stretch her lips wide. “The pressure!!" "Ahhhhh… it burns… ahhhhhhh!” The burning was agony, but someone tapped a control, and Ash felt the head slip back in. Meanwhile, Monica thrashed around on her bed, moaning and crying, the pressure feeling like it would tear her apart. "IT'S GETTING WORSE!! AAAAHHH!" She screamed, her legs spread and trembling in pain. Monica involuntarily pushed, and she felt her pussy bulge outward. "OH GOD OH GOD AAAAHHH!" As the audience watched, they started to see just how big the head of Monica's baby seemed to be. With more loud howls of pain, Monica seemed to stretch more and more with each push. Ash cried out again as she once again felt her baby's head start to crown, but the audience kept making the head go back in every time she relaxed, prolonging her suffering. "OWW PLEASE LET IT OUT!" Ash begged, as the burning hit her over and over.

By now, those audience members that were trying to suck up Ash's milk had had their fill, and settled back into their seats to enjoy the show. Both girls' vaginas were on full display as they shouted and yelped in pain. Ash's baby had peeked out and gone back in another four times. Meanwhile, Monica was clearly struggling, a huge head still lodged in her opening. Ash suddenly screamed as the already overwhelming pressure hit her even harder, and her baby's head immediately shot out. As it hung out of her vagina, Ash moaned loudly, as it seemed her body had had enough of the baby playing peekaboo. The audience murmured in amazement, but at this point, the girls were in so much pain and agony of labor, they no longer cared what was happening around them. "Monica push!" Ash said over Monica's cries. "OOOOHH I'M TRYING..." Monica wailed out, and indeed, she had been pushing, but the head seemed to be stuck. With loud grunts and groans of effort, Monica tried to bear down again, but there was still no movement. "Maybe... change... positiaaaahhh" Ash began, but was distracted by her own baby's emergence. Ash pushed, and with a gush of fluid, her baby was fully born. The audience applauded and cheered as Ash reached for her newborn. It was a girl!

With some difficulty, Monica repositioned herself on the bed, finally getting onto her hands and knees, with her belly sitting on the soft bedsheets, which tickled her popped out navel. Her vagina now hanging in the air, everyone could now see just how big the baby's head was, but the change in position seemed to do the trick. Monica let out another wail as she pushed and the head eased out slowly. Ash watched along with the audience, as she waited for the contractions that would deliver her placenta. The audience tapped some commands that increased the intensity of Monica's contractions and she shrieked as her belly visibly pulsed. With a squishy pop, the head finally ejected from Monica's pussy and hung out of her in the air. "You did it Monica!" Ash cheered, as the audience murmured. She felt contractions and prepared to push out her placenta. However, as she listened to Monica pant, she started to feel pressure again. Monica, still on her hands and knees, looked over at Ash, who was grimacing in pain. "That was... rough... hey are you ok??" Monica asked. Ash shook her head, her eyes closed. "Placenta hurts that much?" Ash moaned softly, as the audience's murmured increased; They had definitely figured out that things were not going according to plan.

A few minutes later, the pressure increased, and Ash cried out, "OH GOD IT'S ANOTHER BABY!" Members of the audience gasped, as Monica began to wail again, her big baby deciding it was ready to finish coming out. Monica yelled and moaned as she pushed. Ash breathed heavily, feeling the strong contraction that would push the twin out of her. Ash bore down, already feeling the head hit her already sore vagina. The audience watched intently, so engrossed in the show before them, they seemed to had forgotten the pads. Monica's loud screams echoed throughout the room as the huge baby finally slid out of her and gently onto the bed. It was a big baby boy. Ash smiled, still panting, as she saw Monica finish giving birth, slumping onto the bed in exhaustion. Then, she felt the familiar burning, and screamed out as she felt her second baby crown. "OW OW AH AH AH AHHHH!!" With one more very painful push, the entire baby fell onto the bed beside her sister, and the twins cried loudly.

As the two girls panted exhaustedly, the 10 watchers got to their feet, clapping and cheering. Monica, who had turned back over and was lying on her back, holding her newborn in her arms, smiled softly. Ash continued to lay on the bed, her eyes closed as her twins, their cords still attached, both hanging out of Ash, squirmed and cried. "You both did amazing," one watcher said. "Yes, it was incredible!!" Another said. Clearly satisfied, the watchers filed out, chatting to each other about what they had witnessed, leaving the two girls alone on stage in the beds with their babies. Ash had scooped up her daughters and was now breastfeeding them. She smiled over at Monica, who was rocking her newborn to sleep. "Well, that was fun!" Ash said, holding her daughters on her breasts. "And we made lots of money too!" Monica smiled back at her, nodding. As much as it had hurt, she had to admit to herself that she also enjoyed the experience. "You know what, let's do it again soon!" She proposed. Ash giggled and nodded.

End

[toxycodone]

can you do a sugar daddy chil x reader (pleading) smth nsfw pwease hehehahhehehe

- xixi 🌧

ship. sugar daddy chilchuck tims x reader

content. implied age gap, sfw + nsfw, power dynamics, dilf!chilchuck

sfw

Chilchuck never meant for this happen.

Things just managed to…turn out like this, somehow. After all his travels and such, the man finally decided to settle down open up his shop.

Also…he managed to finally break things off with his wife. He expected that, I mean, women don’t just up and leave and cut contact for no reason. But it still hurt. The two of them are on good terms now, but it’s safe to say that Chilchuck had become a bit jaded to the idea of having a serious relationship any time soon.

He now focuses most of his time on his store. It’s hard work, but nothing he isn’t used to. But after a few weeks, he’s hit by the fact that he’s not as young and lithe as he used to be. keeping inventory, carrying heavy boxes, those things start to make his head and joints hurt. So, after some reflection, he finally decides to hire some help.

And that happens to be you.

You’re new. You have no real skills. You’re clumsy and a bit naive.

But Gods—you’re cute.

He was definitely thinking with his dick when he hired you, and he’s reminded by that when you ask him a simple question or make a mistake at the shop. But it’s also…really endearing. Chilchuck is almost ashamed at how giddy it makes him feel to teach you something new or correct you.

And you first start realizing how hot he is when he defends you from an unruly customer. Chilchuck doesn’t tolerate any bullshit, so when someone comes complaining he doesn’t wanna hear it—especially when it means they’re coming after you.

You guys really start to be drawn towards each other. During lulls you tell him about your life, and he steadily opens up about his own. And he realizes just how good it feels to talk about this stuff. You’re a more neutral party, and on top of that, you’re not afraid to speak your opinion, and he really enjoys that.

So chilchuck invites you out.

He picks local pubs at first. But it moves to actual restaurants, then to fancier ones…

he’s got all this cash and no one to use it on—why not his cute little employee?

When he spots you looking at a catalogue or mentioning something you want…

it’s bought. He claims he was buying for the store and “bought extra on accident” at first

But then he gets bolder. More open about these things.

Chilchuck’s sitting on a stool, reading glasses hanging off the edge of his nose as he smokes his pipe. He’s double checking stock for the evening as you’re preparing to leave. Just before you walk to the door, he speaks.

“Don’t make any plans tomorrow. We’re going to that new restaurant downtown.”

You’re shocked. That one? It’s so fancy…

”I don’t have anything to wear…”

He points to a package on the counter.

”I know, that’s why I got you that.”

It becomes so casual, Chilchuck just purchasing things for you he knows you’ll enjoy. and it helps if it’s something he can ogle at you in.

And the money? It’s not given directly really . At first he just starts claiming you deserve a raise. Or maybe a holiday bonus. Then decides it’s only fair as your employer he makes sure your rent is paid for. And groceries. And—

Basically, he’s trying not to push boundaries or make you uncomfortable. Each time he gives you anything, Chilchuck makes sure you know you don’t owe him anything for it and your time and company is enough.

but that doesn’t stop you from wanting to give him more…

nsfw

You two getting together was just as unexpected as you getting hired.

Chilchuck had been trying to keep your relationship non sexual. The most he’d accept from you is a kiss on the cheek, but then again, that’s still pretty rare.

You realized you’d have to make the advance. He wasn’t gonna force anything without your consent. And as much as you appreciated that, it annoyed you. Like, a responsible, respectful, sexy middle-aged man—how could you resist the urge to hop on his dick?

You start off teasing him at first. Lingering touches, pressing kisses to the corner of his lips, telling him he’s sexy and flirting with him constantly. You could always tell it does something to him. Chilchuck blushes and brushes you off or grumbles and distances himself from you. You work at him slowly and watch his patience dissipate with each interaction.

What does it is wearing underwear and flashing him when he’s dealing with a customer. He’s slack jawed and stunned enough the customer awkwardly asks him if he’s alright, and for the rest of the interaction Chilchuck is a blushing, stuttering mess.

When they finally leave, Chilchuck slams the door closed and locks it, before stomping over to you.

”What the hell was that?” He hisses, narrowing his eyes at you.

You just shrug and play coy. This just pisses him off more.

“I know what you’re doing. Trying to seduce me…” He growls. “You know I can’t…you’re barely older than my daughters.”

But he knows he crossed that line four ‘dates’ ago when he let you trail your hand up his thigh during dinner or sneakily stole glances at your ass in the clothes he bought you.

So Chilchuck says fuck it and closes the gap between you two, pressing his lips to yours and shoving his tongue down your throat.

”You have no idea how much I wanted this…” he whispers between kisses. “Trying to keep myself from you, preserve your innocence…I should’ve known you were a dirty slut from the start.”

You’re genuinely shocked at his mouth because holy shit?? He never speaks degradingly to you and tries his hardest to be nice…so this is new. But it makes heat rush between your thighs.

After that, it’s all over. You and Chilchuck have fucked on every surface of the store. He’ll bend you over before your shift ends (claims you owe him a bit of hip work before you can go)

he lets you suck his dick under the counter to keep him calm when annoying customers are haggling with him…literally will be arguing with his brows furrowed and all the while just petting your hair. When he finally wins and the annoying bastard leaves, Chilchuck fucks your face as a reward.

oh and after sex. He likes to toss a wad of cash at you and tell you to “buy something nice”. And when you quirk a brow and complain about how he used to be so sweet and respectful he just shrugs and goes “don’t act like a whore if you don’t wanna be treated like one”

(don’t worry, he does respect you, he’s just saying stuff like that bc the angry face you make afterwards is cute. He still will treat you to fancy dinners and stuff.)

[ghulehunknown]

Clergy Headcanons - Proposals!

Rated G - Purely fluff! Gender neutral reader

How I think the head members of the Clergy would propose to you 😌

(inspired by Älva’s Papa engagement ring post!)

Primo

Very romantic

He asked a parental figure/someone important in your life for your hand (well, at least told your loved one(s) beforehand to give a semblance of traditionality)

Plans a picnic with all your favorite foods, and he brought your favorite roses and other pretty flowers from his garden. He actually secretly grew a special engagement bouquet just for you!

He doesn’t get down on one knee because of his arthritis, but proposes while you’re both sitting down

The ring is very traditional and likely passed down for generations in his family. He’s been waiting a whole lifetime to give it to you 🥺

Secondo

Whatever he has planned, it’s completely with your personality in mind - whether you are more inclined for something quiet or a something with a little more opulence

But it’s probably something a little more lowkey, like after a lovely dinner that he cooks for you. He may not be one for grand gestures but he does know how to make you feel very special

He has a very romantic, although not super long, speech before he gets down on one knee and hands you the most wonderful ring you’ve ever seen

The ring is beautiful, but dark - much like him. It’s probably got some black star sapphires in it or something, and the band is made from tungsten or titanium because it’s durable and lasting like his love for you

Terzo

He…may or may not have proposed impulsively one evening after a date because he got excited…then remembered he’s Terzo and vows to do better with a surprise later. (Eloping isn’t out of the question for him)

He plans a grand day out doing all your favorite activities before coming back to the Ministry which is decorated to the max and all your loved ones are there in attendance

He gets down on one knee and gives an elaborate, moving speech and promises you the world

The ring is GORGEOUS and extravagant and must’ve cost a fortune. But your love is priceless, so a silly little price tag doesn’t stop him (don’t worry, he paid full price and didn’t use the Papa discount; he makes sure you know that)

He definitely planned a flashmob for you with Siblings and Ghouls dressed in tuxedos and wedding dresses, but waves them off after he sees how overcome with emotion you are

Can’t wait for you to see the second part…alone in his room, because you have to “christen the engagement”

Copia

Oh god he’s nervous AF, he’s sweating and stumbling. He doesn’t want to mess this up because he’s been planning it for a long time. He knew you were the one the day he met you

He takes you back to the spot you had your first date. You can tell something is up because he’s acting a little funny

He definitely messes up his little speech he has prepared but he says something like: “You will never walk alone”

He’s so, so sweet and everything is perfect no matter how nervous you both are 🥺

He gets down on one knee and everything and you feel like the most special person in the world, because to him you are

He gives you a traditional, but absolutely beautiful ring. It’s probably got diamonds or your birthstone in it. He’s not a fully traditional man, but for things as important as this he doesn’t want to miss a beat

He’s ready to start planning the wedding!

Nihil

“Here,” and hands you the ring

He probably proposes immediately after you have an argument in attempt to makeup and show you he still wants you

The ring is simple, but durable. It’s probably solid gold, because to him you’re golden

Afterwards he takes you out to your favorite restaurant then a drive in movie (it reminds him of the good ol’ days)

Sister Imperator (bonus round!)

Very methodical and planned to a T

Lots of beautiful decorations

The speech is simple and to the point, as she often is, so there’s really no way to get lost in flowery language. You know what she wants, and it’s you and her forever

“We would be good together, don’t you think?” she’d say with her all-knowing smirk

She hands you a sturdy stainless steel ring and got herself one to match

[zedecksiew]

(Don't) Incentivise Ethical Behaviour

In the ongoing project of rescuing useful thoughts off Xwitter, here's another hot take of mine, reheated:

"Being good for a reward isn’t being good---it’s just optimal play."

The quote comes from Luke Gearing and his excellent post "Against Incentive", to which I had been reacting.

My thread was mainly intended as a fulsome nodding along to one of Luke's points. It was posted in 2021, and extended in 2023 after Sidney Icarus posed a question to it. So it is two threads.

Here they are, properly paragraphed, hopefully more cleanly expressed:

+++

(Don't) Incentivise Ethical Behaviour

This is my main problem with mechanically rewarding pro-social play: a character's ethical choice is rendered mercenary.

As Luke Gearing puts it:

"Being good for a reward isn’t being good---it’s just optimal play."

Bear in mind that I'm not saying that pro-social play can't have rewarding outcomes for players. Any decision should have consequences in the fiction. It serves the ideal of portraying a living, world to have these consequences rendered diegetic:

The townsfolk are thankful; the goblins remember your mercy; pamphlets appear, quoting from your revolutionary speech.

What I am saying is that rewarding abstract mechanical benefits (XP tickets, metacurrency points, etc) for ethical decisions stinks.

+

A subtle but absolutely essential distinction, when it comes to portraying and exploring ethics / morality, in roleplaying games.

Say you reward bonus XP for sparing goblins.

Are your players making a decisions based on how much they value life / the personhood of goblins? Or are they making a decision based on how much they want XP?

Say you declare: "If you help the villagers, the party receives a +1 attitude modifier in this village."

Are your players assisting the community because it is the right thing to do, or are they playing optimally, for a +1 effect?

+

XP As Currency

XP is the ur-example of incentive in TTRPGs. It began with D&D's gold-for-XP, and has never strayed far from that logic.

XP is still currency. Do things the GM / game designer wants you to do? Get paid.

Players use XP to buy better mechanical tools (levels, skills, abilities)---which they can then in turn use to better perform the actions that will net them XP.

Like using gold you stole from goblins to buy a sword, so you can now rob orcs.

I genuinely feel that such systems are valuable. They are models that illuminate the drives fuelling amoral / unethical behaviour.

Material gain is the drive of land-grabbing and colonialism. Logger-barons and empires do get wealthier and more privileged, as a reward for their terrible actions.

+

If you want to present an ethical choice in play, congruent to our real-life dilemmas, there is value in asking:

"Hey, if you kill the goblins you can grab their treasure, and you will get richer. There's no reward for sparing their lives, except that they are thankful."

Which is another way of asking:

"Does your commitment to the ideal of preserving life outweigh the guaranteed material incentives for taking life?"

The ethical choice is the difficult choice, precisely because it involves---as it often does, in real life---sacrificing personal growth and gain. Doling out an XP bounty for doing the right thing makes the ethical choice moot.

"I as the player am making a mechanically optimal choice, but my character is making an ethical choice!"

A cop-out. Owning your cake and eating it too. The fictional fig-leaf of empathy over a calculated a decision to make profit.

+

Sidney Icarus asks a question which I will quote here:

"... those who hold to their beliefs of good behaviour don't feel rewarded, and therefore feel punished. And that's not a good feeling. It's an unpleasant experience to play a game where the righteous players are in rags, and the mercenary fucks have crowns and sceptres. So, what's the design opportunity? How do we make doing the right thing feel pleasant without making it mercenary? Or, like reality, do we acknowledge that ethical acts are valuable only intrinsically and philosophically? I have no idea how to reconcile this."

I would suggest that the above dichotomy---"righteous players in rags, mercs in crowns"---is true if property is recognised as the only true incentive.

+

Friends As Property

Modern games try to solve the righteous-players-in-rags "problem" in various ways. Virtue might not net you treasure or XP, but may give you:

Contact or ally slots, which you can fill in;

Relationship meters you can watch tick up;

Favour points you can cash in later;

etc.

How different are these mechanical incentives from treasure or XP, really?

Your relationships with supposedly living, breathing beings are transformed into abilities for your character: skills you can train; powers you can reliably proc. Pump your relationship score with the orc tribe until calling on them for reinforcements becomes a once-per-month ability.

Relationships become contracts. Regard becomes debt. Put your friend in an ally slot, so they become a tool.

If this is what you want play to be---totally fine! As stated previously, games say powerful things when they portray the engines of profit and property.

But I personally don't think game designers should design employer-employee relationships and disguise these as instances of mutual aid.

+

Friends As Friends

In the OSR campaigns I'm part of, I keep forgetting to record money. Which is usually a big deal in such games, seeing as they are in the grand tradition of gold-for-XP?

In both games, my characters are still 1st-Level pukes, though it's been months.

I'm having a blast, anyway.

My GMs, by virtue of running organic, reactive worlds, have made play rewarding for me. NPCs / geographies remember the party's previous actions, and respond accordingly.

I've been given gills from a river god, after constant prayer;

I've befriended a village of monsters, where we now live;

I've parleyed with the witch of a whole forest, where we may now tread;

I've a boon from the touch of wood wose, after answering his summons.

I cannot count on the wood wose showing up. He is a character in the world, not a power I control. Calling on the wood wose might become a whole adventure.

Little of this stuff is codified my stats or abilities or equipment list. They are mostly all under "misc notes".

Diegetic growth. Narrative change that spirals into more play.

This is the design opportunity, to me:

How do we shape TTRPG play culture in such a way that the "misc notes" gaps in our games are as fun as the systemised bits? What kinds of orientation tools must we provide? What should we say, in our advice sections?

+

A Note About Trust

The reason why it is so hard to imagine play beyond conventional incentive structures has a lot to do with trust.

Sidney again:

One of the core issues is the "low trust table". I'm not designing just for myself but for my audience. For a product. How much can I ask purchasers and their friends to codesign this part with me?

Nerds love numbers and things we can write down in inventories or slots because they are sureties. We've learned to fear fiat or player discretion, traumatised as we are by Problem GMs or That Guys.

The reason why the poverty in Sidney's hypothetical ("righteous players are in rags") sounds so bad is because in truth it represents risk at the game table. If you don't participate in the mechanics legible to your ruleset (the XP and gear to do more game things), you risk gradually being excluded from play.

You have no assurance your fellow players will know how hold space for you; be considerate; work together to portray a living world where NPCs react in meaningful ways---in ways that will be fun and rewarding for everybody playing.

You are giving up the guarantee of mechanical relevance for the possibility of fun interactions and creative social play.

+

The "low trust table" is learned behaviour--the cruft of gamer culture and trauma.

When I game with folks new to TTRPGs, they tend to be decent, considerate. I think there's enough anecdotal evidence from folks playing with school kids / newcomers / etc to suggest my experience is not unique.

If the "low trust table" is indeed learned behaviour, it can be unlearned.

Which rules conventions, now part of the hobby mainstream, were the result of designers designing defensively---shadowboxing against terrible players and the spectre of "unfairness"?

How can we "undesign" such conventions?

Lack of trust is a problem that we have to address in play culture, not rulesets. You cannot cook a dish so good it forces diners to have good table manners.

+

This is too long already. I'll end with an observation:

Elfgames are not praxis, but doesn't this specific dilemma in the microcosm of our silly elfgames ultimately mirror real-world ethics?

To be moral is to trust in a better world; to be amoral / immoral is to hedge against the guarantee of a worse one.

+++

Further Reading

Some words from around the TTRPG community about incentive and advancement in games:

+

However, the reason there is a big debate about this is that behavioural incentives in games clearly do work, either entirely or at various levels. This applies outside gaming, as well. Why do advertising companies and retail business use "rewards" structures to convince people to buy more of their products? Why do people chase after "Likes" on social media?

A comment by Paul_T to "A Hypothesis on Behavioral Incentives" from a discussion on Story-Games.com

+

the structure and symbolism of the D&D game align with certain structures and values of patriarchy. The game is designed to last infinitely by shifting goalposts of character experience in terms of increasing amounts of gold pieces acquired; this resembles the modus operandi of phallic desire which seeks out object after object (most typically, women) in order to quench a lack which always reasserts itself.

D&D's Obsession With Phallic Desire from Traverse Fantasy

+

In short, my feeling is that rewarding players with character improvement in return for achieving goals in a specific way impedes some of the key strengths of TTRPGs for little or no benefit in return. 

Incentives from Bastionland

+

When good deeds arise naturally out of the players choices, especially when players rejected other options that were more beneficial to them, it is immensely satisfying. Far more than if players are just assumed to be heroic by default. It gives agency and meaning to player choice.

Make Players Choose To Be Kind from Cosmic Orrery

+

Much has been made about 1 GP = 1 XP as the core gameplay loop driver of TSR D+D. But XP for gold retrieved also winds up being something of a de facto capitalistic outlook as well. Success is driven by accumulation of individual wealth -- by an adventuring company, even! So what's a new framework that can be used for underpinning a leftist OSR campaign?

A Spectre (7+3 HD) Is Haunting the Flaeness: Towards a Leftist OSR from Legacy of the Bieth

+

Growth should be tied to a specific experience occurring in the fiction. It is more important for a PC to grow more interesting than more skilled or capable. PCs experience growth not necessarily because they’ve gotten more skill and experience, but because they are changed in a significant way.

Cairn FAQ from Cairn RPG / Yochai Gal

+++

Thank you Ram for the Story-Games.com deep cut!

( Image sources: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/neuron-activation https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Majesty:_The_Fantasy_Kingdom_Sim https://www.economist.com/sites/default/files/special-reports-pdfs/10490978.pdf https://varnam.my/34311/untold-tales-of-indian-labourers-from-rubber-plantations-during-pre-independence-malaya/ https://nobonzo.com/ )

+

PS: used with permission from Sandro, art by Maxa', a reminder to self:

[pumpkinbxtch]

.・゜✭・. the code for “i like you”

— leo valdez x daughter of athena!reader

Summary: Leo likes you so much that when he has the dream opportunity to get close to you, he expresses his feelings to you, in Morse code, accidentally.

Warnings: swear words?? yeah, but like three.

A/N: English is not my first language, so sorry if it's bad.

A/N: I had so much fun doing this, i relived primary school when i used morse code to make love letters, ew. Btw enjoy.

Leo was terribly attracted to you and you, as expected, went completely oblivious about it. The boy had practically tried everything possible to get close to you; He tried to participate in the same practices as you, walking where you were or talking to those you were friends with, but he just couldn't get it.

The only thing that play in his favor was that they were both leaders of their respective cabins. So when you talked about the planes your cabin had to increase camp security during one of your regular meetings Leo immediately pulled out a favor and volunteered to help (although the guy had no choice anyway, literally his cabin was the only one that could make it)

Chiron didn't object and ended up emphasizing that the two of you would mainly have to work side by side, while he winked at the son of Hephaestus, and Leo wondered if his intentions were really that obvious. Whatever, he was happy.

— That's great, have fun, idiots — Clarisse said in a mocking tone. She patted you on the back and winked.

» Does everyone have eye problems today? « You wondered, but didn't give it much thought. You looked at Leo, and he smiled exaggeratedly at you.

You hadn't paid much attention to the guy, but of course you had him in located: he was a trouble-maker, talented, with very nice hair, in addition, - and gods forbid that anyone else should know - his jokes did seem funny to you as difference from the opinion of others. But you didn't give him many detours and smiled kindly, hiding your desire to giggle.

— See you in a bit, Valdez. I'll go get the plans. —  and you left his sight again, leaving him alone in The Big House. Leo would have preferred to accompany you, but he believed that he had already spent his good luck bonus for the day, so he decided not to press. Chiron put a hand on his shoulder and sighed dreamily.

— The sweet and bitter pain of love — The centaur patted his shoulder a few more times and trotted into the house.

An hour later, Leo had tried to make bunker 9 as presentable as possible for your arrival. But the accumulated junk of several weeks was difficult to hide under a rug, so he just arranged it so that it would not get in the way and cleaned it the tables. In the name of Hephaestus, he was a nervous wreck.

By the time you crossed the door, he wanted to bury himself along with the scrap metal under his work table.

On the other hand, for you, it was impressive. Of course, you were not unfamiliar with the bunker, but looking closely at all of Leo's projects that he had in progress stimulated your brain in the same way that the largest candy store would do for third year old. You forced to keep your mouth closed and walked with the papers towards Leo, who was sitting on the other side of the huge blueprint table.

He looked apparently uncomfortable, and you did not blame him, you assumed that entering the workshop of a son of Hephaestus where his most precious creations are kept was the equivalent of grabbing Clarisse's favorite weapon to play badminton. You preferred to get to the point by spreading out the plans and go straight to the explanation of them.

Everything was fine, until after a while, Leo began to make anxious movements that did nothing but spread the feeling towards you. At first the knocking on the table while you were telling him the plans seemed meaningless to you, until you managed to distinguish a certain rhythm in them, then a hidden meaning. Your mind split in two, and you continued listening carefully while you continued explaining. How? ADHD.

Two knocks in a row, a silence, a tap and a long tap… Was that Morse code?

(.. / .-.. .. -.- /) I like…

You finally figured it out.

(.. / .-.. .. -.-/) I like…

He repeated. It was definitely Morse code.

But what did he like? Your plans?

That last thought made you falter in the conversation, and you stuttered, Leo placed his brown eyes on you attentively and touched the code again.

(.. / .-.. .. -.-/) I like (-.-- --- ..-) You

You blinked dumbfounded as you bumbled and tried to put your sentence together to return to the conversation about the security system without much success, Leo frowned softly probably wondering if you had gone crazy already. But that didn't matter because at the same moment his knuckles collided again against the wooden table making you lose total concentration.

(.. / .-.. .. -.- . / -.-- --- ..-) I like you

You were probably wondering if he was doing it on purpose or consciously, but the answer was no, Leo was a total idiot watching you explain plans and strategies. For him, it was easily like being in paradise, but his emotion tended to show itself involuntarily, and in this case, his knuckles began to encode messages that his brain spun while you continued babbling.

It was only when you stopped talking and gave him a big look of confusion that he stopped.

His blood ran cold. What had he done wrong?

—Leo? — you asked incredulously with narrowed eyes.

—Yes?—  He mumbled nervously and then laughed. Leo cursed his anxious reflexes. — I'm listening, it's just a lot, and it's hard for me, you know what attention deficit is like.— He let out another laugh and his cheeks began to burn. He was just saying stupid things. 

You shook your head and sat down.

—I know Morse code too, you know? We use it a lot in combat.

Leo's blood ran cold for the second time, and he thought he would burst into flames at the same time, inconsistent but possible.

— I don't think so.

And he gave himself a mental slap. Not only had he just told the girl he liked that Leo didn't think she knew Morse code, but to a daughter of Athena. ATHENA. Leo forced himself to deliver another slap.

But the question was now what the fuck had he said in Morse code? Then he heard you clinking the cap of a pen against the table.

(.. / .-.. .. -.- . / -.-- --- ..-) I like you

Shit.

—Wasn't that Morse code? You've been playing it since we were going through the forest plane.

The son of Hephaestus jumped from his chair and stiffened, beginning to babble.

— Me, no, it's just that sometimes I, no, my mom-

—Just tell me if it was true or not.

— YEAH! — Leo pressed his eyes and covered himself with his hands, seconds later a small flame caught fire above his head.

You didn't want to show your shock or how much your heart had raced, but you also got up from your chair and walked towards him. Leo was still in the same position, which almost made you laugh, but you preferred to direct your attention to the flame that was flickering in his hair. You raised your hand over him and tried to pat it out, trying not to get tangled in his curls. By the time you extinguished the flame, he was looking at you like you had just kicked his bronze dragon.

His eyes had widened in a way that you considered unnatural, this time you did let out the laugh. You cleared your throat and took a step back.

— An original way of expressing it, I have to admit — you said still with a playful look.

The boy blushed more, if that was possible.

— Sorry, I didn't want to bother you…

You frowned and shook your head.

— No, no, what I mean is… — You cleared your throat. Now you were nervous, your words would become more clumsy, so you picked up the pen cap again to knock it on the table:

.- ... -.- / -- . / ..-. --- .-. / .- / -.. .- - . (Ask me for a date)

Leo went over each tap and looked at you surprised.

You raised your hand asking for time and played one last word.

..-. --- --- .-.. (Fool)

And you smiled, satisfied that you had done it quickly, but even more so that the boy you had suggested going out with you had encoded the message in record time. How you liked smart boys!

Leo leaned towards you with a self-righteous smile, clearly feeling victorious. Yes, there was also the troublemaker, in total, he was a kind of mad genius.

—So, ma'am, would you go out with me?

— I'll see — You said as you picked up your plans. His smile faded and he began to stammer buts. — See you at dinner, Leo.

You smiled and made your way out of the bunker. Clearly, you would accept, but you would let Leo try a little harder.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

⭕️👋Hi I’m new, I really like your character analysis, world lore analysis etc,…I think they’re very accurate and provide more insight into the twisted wonderland world,

do you think NRC gets enough funding cause they’ve been losing to RSA for like almost 100 years now and the Magift incident where the recruiter’s and scouts probably didn’t really pay attention to most of the players cause of Malleus .I know they probably get funding and tuition and stuff from affluent parents who care about the quality of education & environment of their children but is that really enough? Is Crowley secret Stressed about funding cause of their losing streak to RSA???

I just wondered what your thoughts were on the matter

Hello and thank you very much ^^ It always warms my heart to hear that people enjoy my more analytical writings!

Now to answer your question, I don’t think NRC is hurting for money. Like, at all.

You did bring up a fair point about NRC’s almost a 100 year loss streak to RSA + the lack of interested Spelldrive/Magical Shift scouts in book 2, but that’s not enough of the big picture. RSA is only one rival magic school out of several. Just because NRC is not doing well against one other school doesn’t mean that NRC is suddenly deemed “lesser”—NRC is still considered a top arcane academy and eclipses other magical institutions like Noble Bell College. In regards to the pro recruiters, I don’t think it has a huge impact?? Sports is only one sector at NRC; they’re still doing relatively well outside of it (such as in academics, extracurriculars, and connections for internships) in the grand scheme of things. Things like not winning VDC and not being noticed by scouts seems to only really impact the career prospects of students who were interested in the entertainment/sports industries; I doubt that this would seriously hurt whatever funding NRC is receiving.

Night Raven College is a private school, so they are most likely receiving money from tuition and not the government. Though tuition is not explicitly mentioned in TWST (at least not that I am aware of), if we assume the average cost for one student to attend a British boarding school—for which NRC is modeled after—that means 25,000 pounds per person, PER YEAR. Let us assume that NRC had only 800 students (this is the rough estimate TWST provides us). That means, from one year’s worth of tuition alone, the school is raking in 20,000,000 pounds or 4,058,310,000 madol. Note that this is just money in, not yet factoring for expenditures, taxes, etc.

The school also receives 10% of Mostro Lounge’s proceeds, and while we cannot put an exact number to that, we do know that most menu items range from 600 to 1500 madol. The lounge must also make significant enough money to pay for its ingredients, nice silverware (something which Azul stresses to give customers a high class experience), and even provide pay to workers (Ruggie would not be doing labor for free and refers to his time at Mostro Lounge as “a job”; see: his Ceremonial Robes vignettes). While this doesn’t make up a large part of NRC’s money, it’s still a nice little bonus to account for.

NRC also has many, MANY wealthy students, including literal celebrities and royalty. In fact, the upper middle class to flat-out rich make up the majority of the main cast (close to like 70-75%). If this is also the case for the regular mob students, then there are many other ways for the school to get huge donations. In the main story alone, two significant donations are mentioned: Kalim's dad gave enough money for NRC to completely renovate Scarabia and the Shroud parents paid for all the damages caused to the school's buildings. Additionally, Crowley says that the Shrouds made "substantial contributions toward expanding [NRC's] facilities."

Please note that this is just donations from current students’ families. Think about potential donations coming from NRC alumni too!!

It should be noted that NRC has the financial power to spend liberally, and no one really says that this will put the school in a touch spot. For example, Crowley literally buys up Sam's entire stock of goods during Ghost Marriage... and if you know anything about Sam, it's that he can magically keep things "IN STOCK NOW!!" Crowley even indicates in one of his voice lines that he is in constant competitions to buy out Sam's stock and has scarcely managed to one-up him--so the fact that Crowley does buy out Sam during an event is meaningful and speaks to how much of the school's money he is throwing to save it. He also tells Sam to bill the school for the cost of the fairy dust in Fairy Gala.

Both times, Crowley complains about how he would rather not spend money, but he does so anyway. This in of itself does NOT prove that NRC is in need of money, this is just proof of Crowley's cheapness. (We see many other examples of this greed and stinginess of his; he guilts Yuu for spending money on them, constantly tries to get free food and souvenirs from his students, and cuts costs for Halloween candy.) If NRC were truly hurting financially though, then they would not be able to throw lavish events or donate back to the community, both of which still happen multiple times. For example, NRC holds a huge Halloween event every year in which they open their campus to outsiders. This event is entirely free and involves a budget large enough for each dorm to create intricate decorations and costumes for 800ish students. There is also enough money to throw a celebration party for the students at the end of it—and let’s remember, NRC has the money to afford five star ghost chefs to regularly cater, serve in the cafeteria, AND teach their Culinary Crucibles/Master Chef courses.

While explaining the nature of the Halloween events, Crewel cites that NRC has survived this long in part due to the "While explaining the nature of the Halloween events, Crewel cites that NRC has survived this long in part due to the "understanding, cooperation, and subsistence of Sage's Island locals." This implies that the immediate community on the island also supports NRC in some ways. Perhaps it isn't financially, but it's clear that NRC still has social capital and a good reputation in spite of its losses to RSA.

In Port Fest, Crowley states that setup, food supplies, and all other expenses will be covered by the school. Half of the proceeds will then be donated to charity and the other half will be granted to the students to celebrate their hard work. Again, would NRC be giving away this money if they really needed it for the institution itself? They're not obligated to give money to the students, yet Crowley easily agreed when Azul asked for an incentive.

And let's not forget the school cultural festival, which was largely open for the public to attend. If they choose to spend on additional things (such as food and drink or VDC tickets, which are a "hot commodity"), that's on the individual. The school itself is hosting the event for free.

Yuu is offered a large sum of money (if the NRC tribe wins VDC)... and Ramshackle renovations (from Crowley) in book 5 in exchange for letting the boys host their training camp in their dorm. Look at how old and run-down Ramshackle is; there is no doubt that such repairs would be pretty expensive—but Crowley doesn't complain about the cost, he's not above bribing someone to make himself and his school look good.

Crowley caring about his reputation isn't new either, it's a pattern. We see him getting upset at NRC's loss in book 5 and lamenting bad publicity/being excited about good publicity in numerous events (Ghost Marriage, Wish Upon a Star, etc.) The school has been under his care for a long time, so naturally he will feel proud and/or slighted whenever NRC is involved.

This leads me to the conclusion that Crowley, the figurehead and headmaster of NRC, and his own personality quirks are being misconstrued as an indication that NRC is in a bad financial spot. His own fixation on triumphing over their rival school, acquiring and maintaining material goods for himself, and wanting positive attention do not reflect the state of the school. Notice how no one but Crowley whines about the financials and how while Crowley still complains about spending money, he has no qualms with spending lavishly himself on school events and holidays. This means NRC has money to spare, but Crowley is just stingy about how those funds are allocated.

[avocado-writing]

notes: I did a lot of research for this and yes, the manuscript I reference is a real thing. I didn’t put its name in though because that felt a step too far 😂 set in the light, the dark, and the spaces in between after ch3 so hope that’s ok! requests like this give me life.

relationship: aziraphale x immortal!reader x crowley

rated: G, pure fluff

word count: 1.4K

if you like my work you can buy me a kofi!

You’re the one who makes the tea. 

That’s because you’re the only one who changes how you have it: sometimes you fancy a chai, or a green tea, or a lapsang souchong. Sometimes with sugar or a little bit of milk, sometimes with neither, sometimes with an oat alternative. It changes. You’re human, you go through phases. 

But Aziraphale and Crowley? Nah, they’re creatures of habit. Despite the angel’s wide and experimental palate he’s oddly rigorous when it comes to his cuppa. For him, it’s loads of milk and four sugars, drowned to the point where it could hardly be called tea any more. Crowley likes his black and strong and nowhere near anything that could affect the taste. You wring the teabag tortuously into his mug with a teaspoon before grabbing all three servings and heading into the shop. 

You put yours down first, on the side next to the book you’re currently reading, then hand your husbands theirs. They both take them from you in the same way, the way they have done for centuries now, a domestic ritual: accepting the mug you offer and then your hand, pressing a little kiss of thanks and affection to the back of it. 

A heartfelt  intimacy just between the three of you. 

☕️ 

“Hurry Crowley, it’s starting!”

“Yes, yes, alright angel, hang on.”

“We won’t hang on and we’re not pausing it. Not a threat, just a fact,” you call into the kitchen. A couple of seconds later, Crowley emerges from the kitchen with three wine glasses and a bottle of Pinot Grigio. 

“I’ll be mother, then,” he mutters as the other two of you barely take your eyes off of the telly. You’ve got your legs slung over Aziraphale’s lap and he only takes a break from stroking your knee in absentminded, loving circles to take the proffered glasses from his husband, one for himself and one for you. Crowley plonks down the other side of Aziraphale and throws his own legs over him too, the two of you playing footsie for space across his plush thighs. Eventually the three of you find a comfortable pile and settle in. 

“Another ten weeks of torture begins,” Crowley says as the Bake-off theme ends and the show starts. You nudge him with your toe. 

“You don’t have to watch it with us,” you tell him. He harrumphs but doesn’t argue because, really, of course he’ll watch it with the two of you. It makes you both happy. 

🍞 

Your work is as a consultant for museums around the country, which is a fun way of saying you get paid a lot because you know a lot. But mostly, you only know a lot because you’ve been around for a very long time. So whenever a shard of pottery or a scrap of clothing needs dating they call you to come and put its history into context. 

Also, for the bigger museums, it’s a chance for you to smuggle out the stolen artefacts and return them to their country of origin. You consider it a hobby, a bonus perk of the job. 

You’ve set up this exhibition. It’s for pottery around the end of the Roman rule in Britain, stuff you’ve found and identified around the country on archaeological digs. You lead Crowley and Aziraphale through, discussing your findings in detail, before you come to a small, surprisingly intact, terra sigillata oil lamp. It sits on its own, spot lit. You asked for it that way. 

“See this? I made this. Over a thousand years ago,” you tell them, quietly, gently putting your hand to the glass of the display case. Aziraphale and Crowley take a careful look at the engraving on the object. It bears the profile of a man, and with the sharp cheekbones and little glasses there’s only one person it could be. 

“Oh, Nightingale. It’s lovely,” Crowley says, surprisingly touched. He wraps an arm around you and buries his face into your hair. 

“You could say I’ve held a flame for you for a long time,” you say, and grin. Crowley groans. 

“Did you put my face on a lamp just to keep that pun up your sleeve?”

“Maybe.”

🔥 

You next return to the museum when you pick up that Aziraphale is jealous. He isn’t jealous often but he’s pants at hiding it, and it’s not hard to guess why: he’s just seen that Crowley stuck with you for such a long time you put his face on a piece of bloody pottery. You’d probably be a bit put out too. 

So for a couple of weeks you throw yourself into your work to find the thing that will make it even. And you do, even though it takes a lot of overseas bargaining and promises to do some pro-bono work. 

You finally get the museum in America to agree to send it over for a showing. You arrange a special exhibition specifically for this, where it’s held behind a huge glass case in a dark room with only a small light on it. 

But you get special access because, well, you’re you. So you sneak Aziraphale and Crowley in one night and walk into the display room, wearing a face mask and a pair of protective gloves. 

There it sits: the Canterbury Tales. One of the oldest versions in the world. 

“Oh, this is wonderful!” Aziraphale gasps, peeping over your shoulder to inspect. “I can feel the adoration coming off of it in waves. This was a labour of love, wasn’t it?”

“Yes. I’d let you have it for the shop if I had the power. But I think they’d notice if I shoved this one down my top,” you sigh, scanning the pages for what you’re after, then stop dead when you find it. 

“Here. Look.”

You point to one of the illustrations, a mounted rider on a beautiful white horse. Aziraphale takes in a quiet breath and draws closer. Because just as plainly as you put Crowley on your oil lamp, you drew your angel in the Canterbury Tales. Curly hair, pink face, beaming smile. 

“Oh my,” he whispers. You stroke the little picture and remember toiling away over painting it, repeatedly wiping your brow to make sure your sweat didn’t smudge your work. 

“I put you in all the copies I could get my hands on. And you,” you turn to Crowley, “your face is probably buried on my pottery in a dozen dig sites across the UK. I’m just saying I’ve loved the two of you since the day we met; always have, always will.”

Your husbands look at each other and then at you, before as one they step forward to embrace you. 

“And we’re lucky to have you,” Crowley whispers in your ear, as Aziraphale kisses your cheek. Their hands meet at your back and they interlace their fingers with each other, you wrap your arms around them and stay like that for a moment; three working parts of a whole. 

They kiss, and then they kiss you. You feel warm and rosy. Then you spend the evening reading through the book from beginning to end. 

📖 

You keep your wedding ring on a chain around your neck at work. Not because you’re embarrassed that you're married; far from it - it’s far too precious to risk losing while constantly taking protective gloves on and off all day. So you don’t blame your colleague for asking you on a date. He’s young, fresh out of uni, and of course has no idea you’re old enough to be his grandparent forty times over. 

“That’s very kind,” you tell him, and his face falls because he knows where this is going, “but I’m already happily married.”

He sighs in embarrassment but manages to recover quickly, instead telling you: “they must be someone special to have you.”

He’s doing the polite thing by not assuming the gender of your spouse but it turns out “they” is right on the money. On cue, Aziraphale and Crowley walk through the door to pick you up at the end of your shift. You wish your colleague goodbye and go to meet them. 

“Evening, darling,” Crowley calls. 

“How was work, my love?” Aziraphale follows up. 

“Oh, fine. I’m tired now. And hungry. Can we go and get dinner?”

You link an arm through either of theirs, heading out into the London afternoon. 

“Ooh yes, that is a good idea. I quite fancy fish and chips!”

“Let’s go to that spot round the corner. They make their own tartar sauce. Crowley, are you getting your own chips or nicking mine when I’m not looking?”

“The best tasting chips are the ones you steal.”

“Oh, he doesn’t even deny it—!”

Your colleague watches you leave the building, a little dazed, and supposes it takes all sorts to make a world. 

Taglist: @angiestopit @dazed-soul @idontmeanto @smile-eywa @staygoldsquatchling02 @underratedboogeyman @specter-soltare @candlewitch-cryptic @cool-ontherun-world @emilynissangtr @willbedecided @cool-iguana @bdffkierenwalker

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Does Tav ask Astarion about his embroidery/sewing at any point? :)

Oh absolutely.

As much as it would be hilarious for them to start this line of inquiry after finding his infamous underwear in their laundry, since they’re still struggling with reading, it’d probably start a bit more naturally

Ace!Tav isn’t bad at sewing. They’ve had to learn how to patch their own clothes, the same as anyone else in their profession. But it’s never as clean as they want it to be

One night Astarion sees them sitting by the fire, humming to themselves as usual as they patch up one of their shirts

The humming is starting and stopping as they struggle to make a clean stitch; this is the third time this week they had to patch this shirt, any more and it’s going to get obvious

Astarion, exasperated, just takes it from them and does it himself; honestly, how did they survive this long? Just because they’ve spent most of their life sleeping in the back room of a tavern doesn’t mean they have to dress like it

He hands it back to them, much faster than they ever could, their shirt appearing as if it had never been torn in the first place

Amazed, they ask him how he did it

Astarion just says he’s had a lot of practice, he’s had the shirt on his back for over two hundred years

Tav starts to go to him whenever they get a fresh tear

Astarion makes a show at being annoyed, but a part of him is pleased to be useful in a way that requires skills he taught himself because he likes it, not out of necessity to survive

The fact that Tav always lavishes him with praise every time is just a bonus

Post-absolute Tav encourages Astarion to figure out what he likes to do (besides murder and general acts of destruction)

That’s when Astarion starts to properly experiment with embroidery and sewing and finds he has a real talent for it

He enjoys focusing on the finer details, allowing his mind to fully focus on the task in front of him

He likes knowing he can create something beautiful with his own hands

Tav goes out and buys him supplies and thread and anything else he needs

It’s very much something he does just for himself, at least for a while

He finds he likes making his own clothes, fully using it as a form of self expression

He also takes the time to make things for Tav, embroidering details into their clothes or a new outfit for a special occasion

Tav has never paid that much attention to their looks outside of performances, but they’re always proud to wear anything Astarion makes them

If there is anyone who can appreciate the power of artistic expression, it’s a bard

I do like the idea that years down the line, when Tav has gotten a bit to old for adventuring, the pair of them settle down somewhere

Tav still performs and while Astarion opens a tailoring shop

He keep strange hours and not stellar at customer service, but that’s what Tav is there for

His work is impeccable though, so nobody can really complain

Rumor goes around the town about just how much the pair of them have stored away in treasure so bills aren’t really an issue

It’s more a way to pass the time

It’s a home, a true home, something neither of them have ever had

(Astarion x Ace!Tav Masterlist)

[mint-flavoredd]

Helluva Boss + SPY x family crossover inspired by Laviko_weid drawing on Twitter!!!!

I have so much fun thinking of the character dynamics and the fun added bonus of all of them being from Hell. (This is a world where there is a problem of hellspawn migrating to Earth, and the government is working with Hell to purge their world of secret Hellborn residents)

Stolas

Stolas ran away from the throne and his arranged marriage WITH his grimoire when he was 23, fleeing to the human world to start over. (Meaning Stolas is much more accustomed to ‘real life’ than canon Stolas. Still love them both tho)

Due to not using a crystal and instead uses sheer magical will that Stolas stays in human form, he finds it difficult to keep his eyes constantly changed, so opts to just keep his eyes closed. This doesn’t limit him at all, and he can see perfectly fine with them shut. However, if feeling intense feelings, especially if sudden, he forgets or just doesn’t care to keep them shut.

Stolas became an assassin at age 25, finding an odd sense of belonging to the profession. A control he never felt in his previous life. But as the years passed, Stolas became increasingly worried about being found out by the government. Most likely he wouldn’t be executed, but at this point, he has grown fond of his life on Earth and is making no plans on returning to his loveless marriage or royal duties back in Hell.

Blitzø

During the Circus fire, the fire had spread to nearby trees and buildings, including a building that was owned by a dangerous gang in the area, the fire killing a solid number of important gang members. For years they had hunted Blitzø, and while trying to escape them one day, Blitzø landed himself inside of a jail cell, meeting Moxxie in the process. After breaking out, they both decided it would just be safer to leave Hell all together.

Blitzø steals Veroskia’s (how to spell??) crystal and gives it to Moxxie then proceeds to steal himself one by sleeping with a succubus. They flee to earth. Blitzø is 22 at this point.

He found himself hating that hellspawn are hunted on earth (the whole point of going to earth was to be able to live without that fear of being prey) he attempted to become an assassin, however, Moxxie went into spy work and was easily persuaded since he thought it was the next best thing because you got to dress up AND you got to shoot people.

(Blitzø is a great spy because he is unpredictable and spontaneous- definitely a different kind of spy compared to Twilight.)

(Millie is human in this AU, Millie is that one coworker, Camilla, Moxxie is Frankie. These two are married, don’t question it)

Octavia

Octavia’s egg hatched a week after Stolas had left. (Stella had kept the egg a secret from Stolas, wanting to not constantly be pestered by the owl demon)

Stella was set to be wed to another Goetia, and she didn’t want to bring the owlet from her first marriage that failed spectacularly over to her second one. She wasn’t close enough to the newly hatched bird to be bothered. But It couldn’t get out that a Goetia had been given up to the streets of hell, and Stella didn’t want this girl to be unfairly exploited or raised improperly for being a Goetia, especially when she looked so much like her father already. Stella manually transformed Octavia into her human disguise and handed her off to a succubus who she had paid handsomely and instructed her to be handed off to a family who could take care of her. Unfortunately, Octavia had been handed off to demon obsessed lunatics.

At the age of 4, they had Octavia read a spell that they had no idea what it did. She had the magical ability to cast it, but she had the reading ability of a four year old and she was attempting to read a language she had been taught second hand by people who had taught themselves how to read it. It didn’t go great, she passed out in the process, however, when she awoke, she was granted the gift of telepathy.

Stolas and Octavia are both unaware that she is his actual blood related daughter, but it’s constantly mentioned by other characters that they look much more related than Blitzø and Octavia do. But it’s late to change the story now!

When the show starts, Stolas is 28, Blitzø is 25, and Octavia is 5

Also also Loona is Bond, the future seeing dog.

[razorblade180]

Tough Choices

Caelus:*looks left*

March:🥺

Caelus:*looks right*

Stelle:🥺

Caelus:….Since when does this fall to me?

March:Caelus! Look at me! *shakes him* She’s so close! She’s right over there!

Robin:*sitting pretty*

Stelle:Don’t look at her! Look at who matters!

Firefly:* also sitting pretty*

March:What happened to not liking Stellaron Hunters!?

Stelle:Shit happens!

March:Well I’ve been consistent! I am a fan and I’d really like to hangout with my favorite idol regularly!

Stelle:Caelus, we can literally stop one heart from breaking.

March:GUESS WHO SUNG THAT!?

Stelle:GUESS WHO LIVES THAT!?

Caelus:(Is this why Welt gave me the bag of jades?) Maybe we should revisit this?

MS: No.

Caelus:Oh…

March:Listen…I consider myself a respectable lady with pride. Caelus… you know that dress you like?

Caelus:Have you no shame!

March:Not today. I’m just showing my resolve! It’s not this is anything new between us. Remember last month?

Stelle:Are you…bribing him with the birthday present you wanted?

March:…* smiles sheepishly* Okay, you got me there.

Stelle:If we’re going this low then I’m going to hell. Caelus, Firefly totally likes you as much as she likes me. Also, you may of noticed that she has two hands. What a coincidence! One for each of us!

Caelus:You bring up interesting points…

Stelle:Why are you acting like you don’t want to see her here!?

Caelus:I’m acting like the crew member in charge of our funds! Look, if we get a little lucky and go hard with our duties, we’ll have enough for both. We even have a bit of bonus funds.

March:*red* You could’ve said that before my proposition!

Caelus:I kinda wanted to see how deep this well goes. Also, both of you disappoint me. I take food bribes before anything else. *crosses arms* I have my morals.

Stelle:Topaz smiled at you and she got in.

Caelus:Let that go~ it paid off in the end.

Topaz:*on the couch* Imagine my E1 hehe.

MS: *intense stare*

Topaz:It was a joke! Relax!

Caelus:Okay. Problem solved. Let’s all find peace again.

The loud sound of a creaking door turns everyone’s head.

Fu Xuan:….

Everyone:…..

Fu Xuan:Have you lost sight of your original agenda? The path you set out on?

Caelus:Listen-

Fu Xuan:A single step away from genuine, premium Mono Quantum. You lot have Bronya…

March:But-

Fu Xuan:Ruan Mei…

Caelus:That’s-

Fu Xuan: And Sparkle! All the harmony in the world won’t buff a corpse! You. Need. Protection. I’ve seen how Gepard coughs up blood every battle, and that blonde gambler can’t be in two places at once. Do I even need to bring up the fact certain individuals decide to bruise like bananas!? *turns head*

Qingque:*whistles in guilt*

Silver Wolf: It’s not my fault they know I’m a threat.

Fu Xuan:My sorry excuse for a worker also is threading the needle with 70% rate. As usual I will pick up her slack and keep others healthy. Caelus, be smart.

Caelus:…Screw it. Y’know what? We will gamble the funds. Robin gets one shot to show up and if it fails then onto Fu Xuan. If Robin arrives then Fu Fu gets the one shot. No second chances!

Everyone:What!?

Firefly:(That goodness I’m going last. They’ll probably have more funds by the time I arrive.)

Caelus:This is my decision! All or nothing!

xxxxxx

Aventurine: *walking in nothingness* ……. Why do I feel so proud all of a sudden?

[devourable]

⚡︎ the gym bunny

sfw | tws : mild yandere behavior, some violence

i’m doing this b4 i do mykolas bc i’m rly stumped doing his intro 😭 for now, heres valentina! this one goes out to my girl likers 🫶

valentina could see it as if it was written all over you the moment you entered the gym — you were a first timer.

the way your eyes darted around the building, clearly having no set plan on what you wanted to do, to how you paused and seemed unsure when you were trying to use a machine you had obviously never touched before, she knew you'd probably never been to a gym before that day.

it was a common enough occurrence, though, so she paid no mind to you at first. what reason did she have not to? but she couldn’t help the curiosity piquing in her mind as you lingered on her thoughts…

so she was quite surprised to have her workout interrupted by you, wandering up to her and shyly asking how to operate the bench she was using.

and she even surprised herself when, rather than counter you disrupting her routine with an annoyed look or rude comment like she’d do to anyone else, she completely ceased her workout to respond to you.

“oh, this? no way, this is way too much for someone just starting. let me show you somethin' better.”

and just like that, the two of you became acquainted by her whisking you off to work out together.

it was simple enough of a day — you stretched together, chatted, she offered you her special enhanced water to ensure you stayed hydrated (and pretended her heart didn’t skip a beat when you accepted), and finally, she deemed you ready to actually begin to exercise.

it didn’t take long for valentina to fall for you after that. you were so attentive, so curious for her! the way you tilted your head as she explained the various buttons and modes for her favorite workout machines, the little “oh!” you exclaimed when you understood something, those cute noises you made when you did your stretches…

the lady was usually so dedicated to her body. the fact that she had grown so keen on helping you with yours was definitely a first for her.

“look at you! you’re getting the hang of it so fast!” she’d praise when you successfully did a rep on your own.

“awh, your form’s way off. let me help you…” she’d say with teasing pretend disappointment when your posture wasn’t right.

the way you thanked her every time you got something done with her help was enough to drive her wild! you were just so cute! so fucking cute! you were exactly her type!

and she was just so helpful, you thought. every time someone dared to interrupt your time together, they were met with valentina snapping at them, demanding they'd buzz off and leave the two of you be. any fears you might've had of being harassed by crude gym goers was completely quelled with her by your side.

you could've almost believed that the weight she dropped on the foot of the guy who started to bother you when she had stepped away probably didn't slip from her hands on accident... but what proof did you have? the guy was leaving anyway...

by the time the day had ended and you were ready to go home, you had gotten far more done than you ever expected to. and sure, you were sore and ready to collapse, but your new friend was nice enough to order you an uber home! something she wish she'd done when she first started, she claimed. having your address was a nice bonus, too... but she definitely didn't think about that.

the two of you came to sort of an agreement when the day had ended and you were ready to go. you exchanged numbers, deeming each other as training buddies of sorts, and said your goodbyes. it made her heart swell knowing you liked her enough to come to her every time you came to the gym!

valentina had never felt this way towards anyone she had met before that point, but she grew to like the rapid pounding in her heart when the two of you interacted. the rush was even better than working out.

so when you parted, she made sure to mark her calendar to the day you'd return. she was gonna be ready. she'd push you even harder, she decided.

she was gonna make your heart race the same way you'd made hers.

[mamirhodessxox]

Hey There Delilah (Bonus Chapter)

Dilf!Cody Rhodes x Fem!OC (Delilah Jones)

Desc: Cody is Celebrating his 39th birthday & Delilah refuses to hear his protests on her getting him any sort of gift but she refuses to listen and takes things into her own hands,

Contents: Fluff, Dilf!Cody, Alcohol (champagne/wine consumption), Smut, Soft Sex, Cockwarming, Cuddle sex, making out, crying, slight overstimulation, slight bottom!cody moment.

🏷️ list: @alyyaanna @ginswife @coolpastelartshoe @greatkoalawizard @cokolin044 @kotoriarlert @alicerosejensen @bunnybot55 @mini-rollins @southerngirl41 @harmshake @femdisa @kabloswrld @claymoresofinfamy23 @bones-rhodes @cococodysleevlesshoodie @edtomh @ihatecodyrhodes @ayeeitsali @lisatommo28

{~I'm very serious with you guys interacting with my writing!!!! it would make me so happy & excited, the more comments & reposts the more inspiration i have to write :) likes and comments are strongly appreciated so please COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT COMMEENNTTT the more comments the more content <3!!!~}

“So if he said no gifts why are you still getting him a gift” Mira questioned over the phone while she sat in her & Randy’s shared living room working on her nails while Delilah huffed in the kitchen over the speaker why she made the babies lunch “Cody likes being the gift giver & I want him to start getting used to get gifts as-well. All I got him so far was a painting of our wedding dance but he deserves more!” Mira scrunched her face and smiled “Easy! Fuck em’ You do it anyways”

Delilah rolled her eyes while watching Matthew & Mirabella play in their playpin while she finished cutting up their food into their regular age appropriate bite sized chunks “Mira C’monn.” The red head grinned over the phone before sighing in relief her nail polish came out perfectly “Go to the mall Delilah, get a little lingerie set in a color he likes you in the most & a little side gift with that.” The blonde girl awkwardly bit her lip before taking the babies to their high chairs & feeding them their lunch “I don’t think that would be a good idea, thats a bit more revealing than I’m used too“ Mira hummed in disagreement “Bullshit, you’ve been full on naked in front of him more than 1000 times right now. How else do you think you got pregnant last year.”

“True. It just seems so..scandalous too me though, with the lingerie getup.” Mira listened intently “Not more scandalous than having out of marriage sex while trying to live up to your religious standards.” Lilah smiled to herself a little bit before checking the time “I’m gonna head out now while he’s still getting Kinsley. I’ll talk to you later.” She had hung up & got the babies in their car seats in her own car before locking up the doors & getting in & driving.

20 minutes after getting to the mall Lilah awkwardly stared at the Victorias Secret store & looking at the comic store right across from it “in & out.” She muttered before pushing the stroller before quickly grabbing a baby pink lingerie set in her size while rushing towards the register. A young woman was pushing charging Delilah while smiling “This is cuute” Lilah smiled back as she paid “Thank you, have a good day.”

Meanwhile hours later Cody & Kinsley were back at the house, The 12 year old sat at the table working on her homework while Cody tidied up a little before becoming bored of the babies & his wife out and about, “Did Lilah ever tell you she had plans today before I took you to school?” Kinsley smiled shrugging to herself “Nope, try calling her pr something.” Around 2 seconds later Lilah huffed as she entered the house with the babies & hiding random shopping bags in the stroller “Home!” Cody approached her pointing towards the bags while giving her a welcoming kiss “Those better not be for me.” She pouted a little bit before setting the babies in the play pen while he followed behind her “Codes we stalked about this..” he hummed in agreement while gently tickling Matthew & Mirabella’s tummies “Mhmm~ we did and I recall me telling you under no circumstances you need to buy me gifts love” Lilah rolled her eyes and patting Kinsley’s back “Did’ya eat dinner yet?” The younger girl nodded to herself while grabbing her homework “ate dinner, I’m gonna be in my room & go to bed.” She nodded with a smile while Cody stood leaning against the kitchen archway with crossed arms “Gorgeous you know how I feel when you get me gifts.” She furrowed her expression while wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her chin on his chest while looking up at him with her sweet little doe eyes “I don’t like it when you don’t get anything in return, Especially on your own day.” He smiled down at her softly before raising her hand up towards his lips to press a kiss against her little fist while she stared at him through her lashes “Can I at least show you after I feed the babies & put them too bed?”

He stared at her briefly before pressing a kiss into her forehead “Do what you need to do love, I’m gonna check up on Pharaoh.” She smiled nodding before taking care of the babies for the next few hours, Bathing them, Feeding them, reading to them, tucking them both into slumber and giving them all of her love while kissing their plump little cheeks before shutting their nursery door, setting his Birthday cake she had to buy in the fridge & setting up the bedroom by putting to drinking glasses filled with champagne on each side of the beside tables before nervously putting on the lace set she bought earlier in the day in front of the mirror.

Cody walked in the room to grab something before diverting all of his attention to his sweet girl whose blonde curls laid delicately on her shoulders “Well aren’t you the sweetest thing.” He hugged her from behind while she curled her lips up slightly before turning her head to see him up close “see? Just wanted to look pretty for you.” He pressed adoring kisses around her face, neck & shoulders “Your already so pretty for me doll, you trying to kill me?” He grinned while nibbling on the nape if her neck before looking around to see the champagne glasses before running his fingers through her hair “All this for me? I must be a deserving man” he teased before sitting on the edge of the bed while Delilah smiled and crawled herself right onto of his lap” “You like it?” He chuckled before rolling them both over and kisses down to her chest & stomach “I love it pretty girl.” He teased while biting at her lace panties & teasing her wet spot “cccodyy..”

Delilah whine while he would tease her lace covered pussy “What is it princess? Hm?” He faked his pout as his lips curled into a smirk, he finally pushed her panties to the side, Cody eventually sat up & undressed himself in front of her, the moment he leaned down her hands grazed down his arms to his stomach “Your so handsome.” She breathed out while the two kissed each other in a partially sloppy manner as he sat her legs up a little bit while his hands ran up her waist “so pretty” his words poured out of his mouth while her hands held his arms “I love you so much.” Delilah sighed out while he pushed himself inside of her in-between her thighs. He burrowed his head in her neck letting out moans every now and then while she was busy keeping quiet and releasing any choked up breaths while kissing his cheek profusely he rolled his hips into hers & lifted his head while forcing her to look back at him “so f-fucking gorgeous.” He whined while she scattered hickeys around his upper body while he continued thrusting into her feeling her pussy clench around him, Cody squeezed his hands into her skin while his head went limp against her chest letting out short whimpers that vibrated against her skin “f-feels so good baby.”

She muttered before he flipped her onto her stomach with her ass held up in-front of him, He thrusted back inside of her and ran his hands down her back and scooping her up against his chest as he continued fucking her “how’re you feeling beautiful” he mumbled into her ear as his hand slid down in-between her legs & toying with her clit as Delilah let out a needy moan & pressing her ass further against him “t-taking my cock so good for me princess” he groaned before halting his thrusts and just kept her sitting on his dick while he teased her clit while she cried & mewled scratching her nails against his arms while her hips buckled upwards while he groaned at the tightened feeling around his dick inside of her. “Babby~..” he shushed her before kissing the shell of her ear before continuing on with his thrusts & eventually cumming deep inside of her & nearly painting her insides white.

She moaned into the pillow as her hips shook once she realized Cody wasn’t planning on stopping for a few more minutes, they both laid on their sides under the blankets while he held her softly & still slowly thrusting in & out of her “f-fuck cody..!” She whined before he pouted against her neck & left soothing kisses against her skin “just a little bit longer sweetheart~” his words staggering as he decided to no longer move at the moment. Delilah’s body went limp against his and straight into his arm. He smiled softly as he rubbed her back “thank you for the birthday g-“ she looked up interrupting him “T-Theres cake for you in the fridge & a big gift bag in the closet from me & the kids.” She whispered while he grinned ear to ear and leaned into their pillows “sweetheart you didn’t have to.” She removed body from his and wrapped around the blankets “go get some cake first & open your gift.” Cody huffed tiredly while getting out of the bed & cleaning them both up before he put on any clothes, he took the next 7 minutes to get then some cake to share in bed, he set the plate on her bed side table for a hot second before going in the closet as she instructed & stood frozen as he looked at the large painting of the twos first dance together at their wedding, he looked down seeing multiple sweet treats that he liked to have as snacks next to the bottoms of the photo.

He walked back into the room & made his way on the bed “It’s beautiful sweetheart.” He spoke to her in a gently tone while she smiled to herself and held a fork with some cake on-top of it “Happy birthday Cody.” She teased while he let out a defeated chuckle as he took the bite of cake.

@mamirhodessxox’s Masterlist

[sugurumybeloved]

⤷ I can be better.

masterlist! | previous post!

synopsis: coming to Yuji's with a broken heart, he definitely changes your mind on dating again.

pairings: yuji itadori x reader ! :D

warnings: um not that I know of 🐥.

Tears stream down your face as you run through the neighborhood. Some  drivers honk at you rudely and you trip a couple times but you made it to his house. Your balled up fist knocked harshly at the door as you waited for Yuji to answer.

When the door opened, your eyes fixated on him. His hair was a messy mop of pink strands. He looked down at you with heavy eyelids and a confused smile.

“Y/n? What are you doing here?” He asked confused, leaning on the door.

“Just open the door, please.”

Yuji wasn’t good with reading cues, or understanding cues. Being the sunshine person he is, he accepted, letting you in.

“So, uhm, what’s wrong?”

A low, shaky breath draws from your lips as you blink back more tears. Yuji hesitates to ask again, stepping back from you.

“Do you need anything?”

“No, I’m fine.”

His shoulders started to slouch as he looked for ways to help you. You did just walk in his house without saying what’s wrong anyway.

“Y/N, come.” He calls you over gently. You walk over to him, where he pats the seat of the couch next to him. You sit, leaning on the back of it. He noticed how your normal bubbly demeanor was gone and you seemed distressed. His lanky fingers outstretched to your hand, covering it.

“If you’re worried to tell me, it’s fine. But I’d like to know before you leave, please?”

You feel a burning sensation in your eyes as you blink fast again. You hate when people can see you like this, but what’s the point of coming over and not talking?

The pink haired boy waits patiently as you sit there, watching you.

“So, uhm, remember when we went out with (boyfriends name)?”

He nods, with a smile on his face. “Yeah! The guy who paid for all our stuff from the mall, right?” 

“Yeah, he-“  “And I remember that photo he showed us of you!” He rambled on, almost like he couldn’t stop. “It was so adorable-“

“He cheated on me.”

Yuji was stuck between silence and words, his expression too difficult to read. He wanted to say something so bad, but he was too shocked. Soon, he felt Sukuna switch in, those familiar black lines fading in his face. 

“He did what?”  Sukuna’s menacing voice sent shivers down your spine. Him and Yuji were very distinctive now.

“Yeah, and he told me he didn’t mean it.”

“Didn’t mean it? Obviously he did. His loyalty is as shallow as his morals.”

 You giggle a bit, your hand covering your mouth.

“That wasn’t supposed to be funny, brat.”

“I thought it was!”

Sukuna rolls his eyes, looking down at his nails. He looks back at you with a grin.

“Are you going to be like those other amusing humans and get revenge?”

“No, I think I’ll just be on my own for a while.”

Something sparks in Yuji, as there’s an abrupt switch. He pants, wiping his forehead. 

“You said you’ll be single for a while?”

“Yeah, why?”

You see him suddenly smile, him scooting closer to you.

“How about you give me a try?”

Your eyes widen and you deeply blush. His eyes search yours again, waiting patiently for your response.

“Is that a yes?” He says, his thoughts almost contradicting him. Even with his smile, he hopes that you say yes.

“Well, I’m not saying no, but don’t you think it’s too soon-“

Yuji’s rosy pink lips smash onto yours, cutting you off. The kiss feels so rushed, but so right. There’s a sense of euphoria in the air as you return his kiss. His fingers find their way in the nape of your neck, traveling to your hair. Your hands cup his face, the pad of your thumbs on his plump cheeks. After about a minute or two, you both part away, breaking for air. Your lips tingle, still feeling the remnants of his pair. As you look at him, his signature smile returns, shyly scratching his forehead. 

“Can we kiss again?”

~

[BONUS!]

Sukuna sits with his leg crossed in his chair, listening to the scene unfold from Yuji’s head.

“Ah, two brats falling in love.”

dt list: @1-800reki @ashlovelys @crowatemitsuri @psuedosugu @starykari @pinkbowwhitebow @kitkat-moon @ilovelinkk @stillnotherapy @suguvanilla @istanstraykidss @zellons @misthashiragf @mjustag1rl @stantengenandhisflashywives :3

works by sugurumybeloved©.

[maigo-san]

What are your zolu hcs?

this is inspired by a scene from the anime during Luffy's flashback post Marineford. It's the way Luffy doesn't cross Zoro's boundaries. At first, Luffy sees a lot of himself in Zoro and that's why he finds that Zoro can take the way he treated him (i.e. the manhandling, flinging around, teasing him relentlessly) and he was right to some degree, Zoro seems to tolerate pain despite not made out of gum so he does sometimes still yanked Zoro when he ran in the wrong direction and stuff like that. Zoro also does the same thing as him, pinching him, bonking foreheads, using his full power to fight Luffy, scolding or teasing Luffy back. But Luffy realizes that Zoro is an immovable force when it comes to things like sleeping or training and he stops bothering him. Sometimes he still asks Zoro to play with him as a way to share his excitement but he doesn't disturb him or poke him or steal his stuff anymore and just tap on Zoro's shoulder or his weight. Luffy doesn't even need to say anything because Zoro already knows what he wants and he also knows that his "clingy" captain likes to do this just for the sake of seeking Zoro. Sorry, it's such a small gesture but I will die on this hill because Luffy cares for Zoro as much as Zoro does for him

they call each other aibous/partners LOL either in the final saga or post-canon or when they get together. Had this idea after a Sabaody arc rewatch and saw RayRoger call each other that. Also why I find a lot of parallels between ZL and KidKiller. I find it even more fitting than right-hand man or vice-captain (but he could be all of them)

Zoro has a weird way with PDA. He doesn't do that much because he gets embarrassed by it. But he can't keep himself away from Luffy's personal space. Probably because Luffy does the same. He likes to sniff him discreetly; swing his leg on top of Luffy, acting like he was just nonchalantly chugging his beer; randomly pin Luffy down with his whole weight and falling asleep on top of him while Luffy looks so confused at first; press a palm on the back of Luffy's neck and pulling him to press their foreheads together while staring intensely into Luffy's eyes; neither of them saying anything until Nami told them to get a room; Zoro likes to bite Luffy, on his shoulder blades or his cheeks, due to cuteness aggression. He is actually the one who started it before Luffy developed a habit of biting him.

In modern AU, I really like to HC kindergarten/daycare/preschool teacher Luffy. His jobs can be pretty diverse, ranging from errand boy, to sex worker, to sumo wrestler, to boxer or MMA, to child care, to delivery service, pet sitter, warehouse operator, oil rig worker, beetle expert/scientist, and (a moot suggested) animal whisperer. Did he get a degree? maybe. Did it take him multiple tries to get a degree? could be. Did Sabo or Nami hook him up with a fake certificate? also possible. He might not even need them, this and that offered him after he helped them or something. While Zoro for me is usually pretty straightforward. A kendo athlete or teacher, anything by Luffy's side, bounty hunter or a hitman, or he gets paid to do the math equations in his classmates' assignments. At one point he was offered a data analysis or statistics job where he didn't last for a week because he got bored, had a bad attitude, and was often late due to getting lost

I have so many zl hcs I have not made any fanwork of, but these are the ones I thought abt at the top of my head so I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think.

Bonus mature one to make this five hcs in total

Luffy bottoms, Zoro tops. Sometimes, Zoro is more of a side or touch-me-not, so they would use toys, hands, or tongues. Luffy looooves Zoro's mouth, almost more than getting dicked down. They either have quickies almost every day or they can go months without having sex so they don't have it planned out and they don't really experiment. One or both of them will just ask the other if they're horny or not, if they want to let off steam or not and just go at it. Zoro finds more pleasure in Luffy's reactions and looks than his own while in return, Luffy lets him in his most vulnerable state and gives him all his unbridled attention. Oftentimes, Zoro does it because he misses Luffy.