#belladonna winchester

[corvidshadowgrovestrega]

Okay, so an idea. Here's a partial list of my almost finished OC's. They are in no particular order or sequence, honestly it's more of an utter mess.

Point is, I would be very glad to answer all the questions you may have about them. Because I do like to talk about them.

So just, you know, freely ask away.

every time someone gets invested in another person's oc an angel gets its wings

[arc-misadventures]

The Lady’s Next Door

The 'Milf next door' when she says she just going to say 'hi' to that cute blond boy your daughters friends with.

Kali

Kali: I just want to talk to him.

Blake: Why do you want to do that, Mom?

Kali: I just want to talk to him.

Blake: Why are you dressed like that?

Kali: I just want to talk to him.

Blake: Why do you want to talk to, Jaune?

Kali: I just want to talk to him.

Blake: Is it because he's a human?

Kali: I just want to talk to him.

Blake: He’s just my friend, Mom, he is not another, Adam waiting to happen.

Kali: I just want to talk to him.

Jaune: Hi, Blake. Oh, hi Ms. Belladonna!

Kali: I just want to fuck him.

Jaune: Beg pardon?

Blake: What?!

~~~

Raven

Yang: Hey, Mom, I’m sorry, but can you do me a favour?

Raven: I don’t wanna.

Yang: Mom! Come on! I just need you to watch over my friend till I get back.

Raven: Back, back from where?

Yang: Blake got…?!

Raven: No! Say no more, since it involves your ‘girlfriend’ I can assume it’s something illegal.

Yang: She’s not my girlfriend!

Raven: But, was it illegal?

Yang: …

Yang: Well…

Raven: Ha! Love the bad girls don’t you? Fine, I’ll watch over your friend. Who is it you want me to babysit; It better not be the, Schnee girl! I swear I’ll shoot her one of these days if she…?

Yang: No, it’s not, Weiss. It’s, Jaune. Jaune’s coming over.

Raven: J-Jaune…?

Yang: Yeah, we’ve got a school project we’re working on together, and Jaune wanted to get ahead of the game. So he asked if he could come over here so we could work on it. Is that okay?

Raven: Jaune coming over here…? T-That’s fine! I’m totally fine with that tasty snack…?! I mean! That fine young man coming over here. W-When is coming over…?

Yang: In… half an hour-ish?

Raven: Half an hour? That gives me plenty of time… Time for a shower, and time to put on something spicy~!

Yang: What was that?

Raven: Nothing! Go, and save your girlfriend!

Yang: She’s not my girlfriend, Mom!

Raven: And, I’m not about to get laid, now get going!

Yang: Alright! Alright! I’m going.

Yang: …

Yang: Wait, ‘Get laid?’

~~~

Summer

Ruby: Mom?

Summer: Yes, sweaty~?

Ruby: What are you wearing?

Summer: A bikini.

Ruby: Why?

Summer: Well, your friend, Jaune is coming over to help clean the pool, so I thought I’d give him a show~!

Ruby: A what?

Summer: I thought I’d get a suntan.

Ruby: Oh… Then why are you taking the sunscreen?

Summer: So I don’t get sunburned silly.

Ruby: Okay, do you want me to…?!

Summer: No! No, noo, no. I’ll ask, Jaune to put it on~! That way I get those big muscular hands all over me, feeling me up~! Oh gods~!

Ruby: What was that mom?

Summer: Nothing~!

(Ding dong~!)

Summer: Oh? That must be my boy toy~! Coming!

Ruby: Boy what…?

~~~

Willow

Jacques: Willow! Where are you! Blasted, where is that drunkard!

Willow: …

Jaune: …

Willow: Well, that was close…

Jaune: Yeah… too close.

Willow: Jacques would have thrown an absolute fit if he caught one of, Weiss’s friends snooping about the mansion.

Jaune: I wasn’t snooping, I was lost.

Willow: In a supply closet?

Jaune: I thought it was, Weiss’s room.

Willow: Not even close dear.

Jaune: Okay… but can you open the door, you shoved us in here to get away from, Jacques, and this broom closet is rather cramped.

Willow: No can do… my hands are stuck here… Feeling your broad chest~! Y-You’ll have to open the door yourself.

Jaune: Okay fine… where is the door knob…? Eh? What is this, a pillo…?!

Willow: Ohh~!

Jaune: Ahh?! S-S-S-Sorry! I didn’t mean to…?!

Willow: Jaune?

Jaune: Y-Y-Yeah…?!

Willow: Harder~!

(Ziiiip!)

~~~

Athena

Athena: So tell me, why are you in such a panic to clean up, our already clean house?

Pyrrha: Ooooh… My teammates are coming over, so I wanted to spruce the place up for their visit.

Athena: Your teammates…? Does that mean… Jaune is coming too…?

Pyrrha: Yeah, he’s coming too.

Athena: I see… Well, then I hope he’ll enjoy visiting us in our humble abode~!

Pyrrha: Uhh… Mom? Your top has come undone.

Athena: It’s a little hot here, I just want to cool off.

Pyrrha: It’s not hot in here at all?

Athena: Oh~? What makes you think that?

Pyrrha: Mom, your top has come undone again.

Athena: So it has.

Pyrrha: Mom, I can see you bra.

Athena: And?

Pyrrha: Mom, do up your blouse, unless you want my friends to stare at your breasts.

Athena: So long as it’s him, I don’t mind if he stares, or even copes a feel. I’ll be very happy by the end of it all~!

Pyrrha: C-Cope a feel? Who are you talking about?

~~~

Carla

Carla: So that’s the, ‘loser twerp’ you’ve been bullying?

Cardin: Yeah, his name is, Jaune Arc, complete loser.

Carla: Jaune Arc…? Jaune ArrrrrrrrrC~! Hmm… Rolls off the tongue.

Cardin: Pff! That’s part of the idiot’s stupid catch phrase.

Carla: What catch phrase?

Cardin: “The nAme’S JaUNe ArC; roLLLs of tHE tonGUE! LaDIEs Love it” Pff! How stupid can you be?

Carla: ‘Love’s it?’ So, he is the boy you are being forced to apologize to?

Cardin: Yeah, the teacher says they’ll end my two month long detention early if I apologize to him… I have no intention of apologizing to that loser.

Carla: I see… You know what, Cardin. How about I apologize on your behalf?

Cardin: You’ll do that?

Carla: Of course! He may not accept it, but he’ll at least get that apology he is owed.

Cardin: You’ll do that? Thanks, Mom. I probably would have decked him in the face if I went over there to apologize to the loser.

Carla: Then I best go over there. Don’t worry sweetie, I’ll make sure he accepts your apology. After all, what better apology can a boy get than fucking his bully’s own mother~?

Cardin: W-What was that…?

~~~

Ruby

Ruby: Amethyst, honey? Why are you dressed so… slutty?

Amethyst: Oh… uhh… Parent teacher conference is tonight…

Ruby: I’m aware…

Amethyst: Yeah… so… Professor Arc is coming over to…?!

Ruby: Jaune?! J-Jaune’s coming over here?

Amethyst: Yeah, he told me so himself.

Ruby: So, you’re dressing like a slut to seduce him?

Amethyst: Yeah… That is the plan…

Ruby: Nonono! That won’t work at all honey! He won’t give you so much as a fleeting glance if you dress up like some common harlot!

Amethyst: He won’t?

Ruby: No! You need to dress in something more conservative, something that shows nothing, but something that emphasizes everything~!

Amethyst: Like what?

Ruby: I’ll show you after I’ve seduce him~!

Amethyst: What?! But, I want to sleep with him first!

[verydeadaten]

Jaune: *walking back to his seat after getting his ass beat by Cardin* Gah, I didn’t even know I could get bruised there.

Yang: He really thrashed you this time, Vomit boy. You need to go to the nurse?

Jaune: Nah, I’m good. Give me like, 10 minutes and I’ll be fine.

Pyrrha: Maybe we should talk to Goodwitch.

Jaune: For what?

Pyrrha: Jaune, constantly getting beaten in one-sided fights can’t be good for you. You need a challenges, not insurmountable obstacles.

Jaune: Pyrrha, Pyrrha, it’s okay.

Jaune: I understand it now.

Nora: You what?

Jaune: I understand it now. Everything’s gonna be fine, okay Pyr?

Pyrrha: *chewing lip in concern* …okay. I’ll trust you on this, Jaune.

The very next day…

Jaune: *stretching a bit after beating Cardin without getting hit once*

Blake: What. What the fuck was that?

Nora: I have no clue.

Yang: Pyrrha, did you know he could fight like that? Because the way he fought today was completely different from the way he fought yesterday.

Pyrrha: No, I didn’t. I…I am dumbfounded. A leap in skill that big, In a single day? I haven’t the faintest idea of what’s going on.

[howi99]

A Knight second chance 9

Blake: *glaring daggers at Jaune*

Ren: ... Jaune, what did you do?

Jaune: *shrug* I stated the obvious. *Point to the cat ears* It's not like she even TRIED hiding her identity. *Doing a little wave at her, with a smile*

Blake: *looking furious*

Ren: ... But why the antagonisms?

Jaune: If i told you it keeps her from thinking about running away from here, you'd believe me?

Ren: ... Does it have anything to do with what happened at the docks?

Jaune: ... No?

___________________________________________

Team RWBY: *arriving at the docks after Blake was "forced" to explained her backstory to her team*

Blake: What the-

Jaune: *speaking with one of the White Fang which is already in handcuffs* Oh don't get me wrong, i don't like the SDC one bit, but-

Ruby: *perplexed to see her friend here* Jaune?

Jaune: *turning to see them* Oh, hey gang!

Yang: *looking at the bunch of White Fangs being arrested by the police* What... Happened here?

Jaune: *shrug* They tried stealing a shipment of Dust. And hey, i'm the first person to say that the SDC suck-

Weiss: Hey!

Jaune: *smiling* Weiss, your father is the main reason why Vacuo is dirt poor. And they refuse to send dust to Menagerie.

Weiss: *pointing at the faunus on the ground* Because of them!

Blake: *frowning at Weiss*

Weiss: *rolling her eyes* The terrorist, not the faunus.

Jaune: *taking a pamphlet from his pocket* Actually, the embargo debuted BEFORE the White Fang was even a thing. So it's totally because of segregation, Weiss.

Weiss: B-but-

Jaune: *cuting her with a smile* Anyway, that's not important for now. What's important is that the situation was de-escalated and that nobody was hurt.

Blake: How!?

Jaune: ... I called the authorities? *Shaking his head* Blake, they are civilians, not trained soldiers. Heck, it wasn't even hard to explain to them that if they cooperated, they wouldn't be tried as terrorists, but as thieves.

Black: *who had a "perfect" speach ready* Uh!?

Grunt: ... He also knocked out most of our heavy hitters while WALKING to them with a smile. And we were shooting him! So uh... Yeah, we aren't dealing with that.

Yang: That's badass.... *Smirk* And frightening.

Jaune: *Sigh* It also hurts like a bitch. *Chuckle* I wouldn't recommend it. *Picking up one of the guns* The only reason it worked was because they were using subsonic ammunitions of 9mm.

Grunt: *sigh* The guy, Roman, said it was for discretion. If it wasn't of that, we would have been fine.

___________________________________________

Ren: You did steal her moment, no?

Jaune: *shrug* Meh, it's not like that's going to be the last time... Also, duck.

Ren: *perplexed* Duck? *Get hit behind the head by a creampie Blake tried to throw at Jaune* !?

Silence in the cafeteria

Nora: *jumping on the table* I'LL AVENGE YOU! *Throwing a fish at Yang by mistake* Oops...

Yang: *her semblance activating with a grin* FOOD WAR!!!

___________________________________________

Velvet: *under a table with Coco and Russel* You want Coco expertise?

Russel: Yeah!

Coco: ... Your team did bully V, why should i help you?

Velvet: *frowning* Coco, Russel's a good guy. And even the rest of his team aren't really that bad. *Sigh* Cardin was mainly angry because the white fang kept attacking his mother's store.

Coco: ... *Sigh* You are too good, V. *Looking at Russel* What do you want?

Russel: W-well, i-

Dove: *taking cover* Oh, hi you Velvet. You were still interested in coming to the arcade with us?

Velvet: *smiling* Hey Dove and yes! But i was wondering if my team could come?

Dove: Don't see why not. *Cardin falls next to him* Hey big guy, Velvet wants to know if she can bring her friends with her to the arcades?

Cardin: *shaking off the food from his head* Uh? *Looking at Velvet with a slight blush* Oh uh, yeah, sure. *Picking up a plate as a shield, going back into the melee*

Dove: *looking for a "weapon", picking up a breadstick and following his leader*

Coco: uh... They do seem a lot nicer. *Looking back at Russel* So back to my help.

Russel: *picking up invitations to a nice restaurant from his pocket* W-well i was planning to ask my girlfriend out, but i don't really have anything nice to wear and-

Coco: Say less, i'll help you out.

Russel: *smiling* Thank you! Now if you excuse me *picking food for the fight* My team needs me! *Leave the cover to follow his friends*

Coco: ... By the way, the big guy totally has a crush on you.

Velvet: Pfft, Cardin? That's ridiculous!

Coco: Uh-huh, if you say so.

[reashot]

So you and Ruby?...

Blake: Look at those two... *Watching Lancaster moment from behind a bush*

How could they say that they don't have feelings for each other?

If only there's a way for me to know about their true feelings...

???: Why don't you just ask them?

Blake: Nyah!!!

Cardin?

What the Salem are you doing sneaking up on me? Gods, I always know there's something wrong with you!

Cardin: Huh? I can say the same thing to you creeping up from behind the bushes while watching dork number 1 & 2 eye fucking each other.

Blake: *gasp* So even you know that there's something between them.

Cardin: You have to be blind not to.

Blake: Still I need something more substantial...

And you said that you will help me?

Cardin: What are friends for...

Some times later.

Jaune: Bye Ruby.

Cardin: Hey wuz up. Mind answering me some questions?

Jaune: Cardin? S-sure asks away.

Cardin: So Jaune... Are you and Ruby dating?

Jaune: W-what no! Propestrous, ludicrous and just downright silly. Ruby and me are not dating.

Cardin: I see... So you won't mind if I ask her out then?

*record scratch*

Jaune: Excuse me?

Cardin: Yeah I'm thinking about asking her out. She's cute and you said you're not interested. That is okay with you right?

Jaune: Y-yeah of course. I mean I'm not her boyfriend. *Starts shaking* of course you can ask her out on a date. Ha, ha, ha. I mean why do I care about who she's dating. *Bite lips*

Cardin: ... Okay. I mean it's nothing serious I'm just going to pump and dump her... *Ghugh*

*strangling Cardin*

Jaune: What did you just say to me? You want to use Ruby as an outlet for your lust. I might not be interested in Ruby like that and I'm not her boyfriend. But I am her friend. If you think I'm going to let you treat Ruby like that you have another things coming.

She meant the world to me as a friend. When I'm with her the world shines a little more brighter. Her smile is the most beautiful thing in the world. And I will do anything, absolutely anything to protect it. Do you hear me Cardin!?

Cardin: *gasping for air*

Jaune: I know I can't choose who she decides to go out with and I certainly can't choose who she falls in love with. But I can make sure to protect her from people like you!

If you still want to go after Ruby fine! I can't stop you. But you will treat her like a lady. You will buy her flower and take her out on a date. A fancy one. Treat her the way she is meant to be treated. You will give her compliments like how cute her smile is or just how cute she is in general. Because she is so gosh darn cute!

You get that Cardin?

*Let Cardin go*

Cardin: *cough* c-clear...

Jaune: Good... And I will tell Ruby that you're asking her out on a date. So remember to treat her well, all right. She's my best friend... We'll see you.

Cardin: Fucking psycho...

You get all of that Blake?

....Blake?

Meanwhile behind the bush

*lying on the ground with nosebleed*

Blake: he, he, he, he... My OTP...

In unrelated news Blake's romance novel just reached an all time best sellers across all four kingdoms.

[juanarc-thethird]

Would you rather be in the woods with a Bear or Man?

Yang and Blake are talking as always on one of the benches in the academy courtyard.

Cardin: So, Ladies...

Blake: Ugh…what does he want now?

Yang: Just ignore him and he will go away.

Cardin: I have a question for you two.

Blake and Yang ignore him.

Cardin: Hello? Is anyone inside those little heads? I'm talking to you.

Yang: *Upset* I don't know if you've noticed but we don't want to talk to you.

Cardin: Jeez, are you on your period or something? It's just a question.

Yang: *Angry* You little-

Blake: *Interrupts her* If we answer your question, will you leave us alone?

Cardin: Sure.

Blake: Ok then, what's your question?

Cardin: If you were lost in the woods, would you rather be with a smelly, ugly bear or… *he then flexes his muscles* ..a strong, handsome man?

At that moment on a bench near them sits a person in a teddy bear suit. He removes the head of the suit revealing Jaune inside. He then puts his head aside and lowers the siper of the costume a little to his waist. Showing his body soaked in sweat, making his white shirt stick tightly to his body, showing his athletic figure and muscles.

Jaune: *Pulling his shirt* My God, it's really hot today.

The two girls stare at him and then turn to Cardin, showing a little blood coming out of their noses.

Blake: The Bear

Yang: 100% the bear.

[rwac96]

Bad Luck Amuck (RWBY Shitpost)

Qrow: *shaking his flask* "Empty. This can't be good."

Ruby: *approaches* "Uncle Qrow, what's wrong?"

Qrow: *exhales* "Ruby, I'm outta whiskey."

Ruby: *smiles* "So, you won't get drunk and be smelly for a while."

Qrow: *serious* "Ruby, do you remember what my Semblance is?"

Ruby: *blinks* "Luck--." *realization* "Oh, fudge."

---

*Yang was riding Bumblebee, until the front wheel suddenly lost a bolt, came loose and the cycle tipped over, causing Yang to be flung across the Valeian street*

Yang: *tossed* "CRAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!"

*Pyrrha and Jaune are sitting at a diner, enjoying an outing and it seems like Jaune leans in to kiss his partner...until Yang crashes in through the window and crash lands on the knight*

Pyrrha: *horrified* "Oh, Gods!" *stands up* "Jaune, Yang--Huh!?"

*Jaune did end up kissing...Yang, who quickly gets up, red-faced*

Jaune: *confused* "YANG?!"

Yang: *blushing* "Oh, Gods! My bike lost a wheel, I wiped out and I got smooched by VB!" *covers her face* "My luck can't get worse than this!"

*Yang is then lifted up by her gauntlets...by an unamused Pyrrrha, brandishing Milo with murderous intent*

Yang: *eyes widened* "It was an accident! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!"

---

*Weiss was in a sparring match against Cardin and she was about to fire some Ice Dust until the chamber in Myternaster jammed*

Weiss: *alarmed* "What!?" *presses the trigger again, nothing* "No! Not now!"

Cardin: *tightens his grip on The Executioner* "Perfect!"

*Cardin charged towards Weiss, swinging his mace and landing a devastating blow upon her stomach, hurling her towards the edge of the arena and shattering her Aura*

Weiss: *on the ground* "Ugh! Weapon jammed and beaten by that brute. This can't get any worse--."

Coco: "HEY! Where the hell are her panties?!"

Weiss: *blushes* "WHAT?!" *she quickly tugs her skirt down...accidentally tearing her entire dress off...now naked for all to see* "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

---

*Blake was sprinting with all of her ability, fleeing from an angry mob as she had lost her bow...her feline ears exposing her Faunus Heritage*

Enraged Valeian: *brandishing a gun* "GET HER! GET THAT ANIMAL!!"

Radicalized Youth: "HANG HER!!" *holding a noose* "I GOT THE ROPE RIGHT HERE!!"

Blake: *running* "I told Ruby I didn't want to dogsit Zwei, and this happens! This can't get any--!"

*Blake bumps into something, no someone...a White Fang Member and their comrades...recognizing Blake, who was now surrounded*

Blake: *tearing up* "N-No...."

WF Grunt: "DEATH TO THE TRAITOR!!"

Radicalized Youth: "KILL HER AND THE OTHER ANIMALS!!"

Blake: *cornered, sobbing* "Brothers, NOOOO!!!"

---

Ruby: *pale* "Oh, no. I gotta warn--UGGHH!!" *she keels over, clutching her stomach* "Oh, Gods!"

Qrow: *alarmed* "RUBY!!"

Ruby: *growing paler* "I think... I think that brownie was worse than bad..."

[howlingday]

JAUNE FAN CLUB

Velvet: What do you think? This is the Jaune Fan Club, where people who want to support Jaune Arc gather together!

Weiss: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Velvet: It's just our cover! The real reason we get together is so Vale doesn't get attacked like with the train. We take our jobs really serious in here, and host intense debates about important topics!

Velvet: (Opens door to hot pink clubroom)

Ruby/Cardin: (Exchanging Jaune photos)

Nora: (Hugging a Jaune plushie)

Ren: (Reading the "Jaune Arc Weekly Series")

Blake: (Writing Jaune fan fiction)

Yang: (Showing off Jaune cosplay)

Jaune: ...

Girls & Cardin: KYAAAAAAH~! IT'S JAUNE~! I'm breathing the same air as him! Isn't that, like, an indirect kiss?! Jaune, sign my notebook~!

Weiss: What was that about having serious debates?

Velvet: (Chuckles) Erm... Well...

Pyrrha: ...How do I become a member?

[jboy44]

Jaune kicks door down " okay cardin you have gone too far now"

Injured jaune

Weiss "........I turned down that

Yang " those abs

Blake "........ meow😻😻😻

Ruby ".....WANT LIKE COOKIES

velvet " i want to do the bunny hop on him

Goodwitch adjusting glasses "...mr arc😲😲

Pyrrha

Cardin " oh no he's hot

[soundkiller0017]

NTR RWBY (Not really)

Narrator: After Salem's defeat and the departure of Ozma our heroes are back in Beacon as students beacuse after Atlas fall the were 'tecnically' not licensed Huntress and Huntsman. So they were back in a rebuilded Beacon who was directed by Headmaster Qrow Braween (Glynda Goodwitch retire after the war ended.). Now in Beacons courtyard we can see the 4 year student Cardin Winchester who still thinks that Beacon was still the same from his 1 first year (he is wrong)

Cardin: Why does Arc, Pine, Ren, Wukong and Xiao Long have hot girlfriends and I the most cool and handsome student dosen't have nothing (he is coping)

Narrator: You see dear viewer, Cardin was obssed with a tag in his +18 content that was call NTR, so he thinks that he can steal and humilated a pearson, beacuse he thinks NTR is cool.

Cardins mind:

Ruby: Oh! Cardin, you are so sexy and hung! I will leave Oscar just to be with you!

Weiss: Same here! Cardin! You are more stronger and hung that the limp dick Jaune has!

Nora: Renny dosen't have the masculinity you have Cardin!

Velvet: I'm just a cum bucket for you master! Sun is a useless animal!

Blake and Yang: Master please! Please make us love dick again

Back to reality:

Cardin: Hahaha! Now all Beacon will see who is the real Giga Chad alpha male stud king of harems!

Narrator: Now with that 'boost' of motivation Cardin decide to 'steal away' the most beatifull women in Beacon

1st attemp: Ruby Rose

Cardin: Hey there sexy Rose!

Ruby visible cringening to the nickname: Hello Cardin. How are you?

Cardin: I'm good. But I heard that Pines is not plesurering you and he is nothing more than a loser femboy farmboy. So how about if I help you *tries to grab her butt* with tha-

Ruby who now is piss: HELL NO!! *grabs Cardin arm and throw him to the neares trashcan* NOBODY TALKS TRASH OF MY PRINCES!!! *goes to look for Oscar*

Cardin: *groans in pain*

2st Attemp: Weiss Schenne

Cardin: Hey Ice Queen!

Weiss not even looking at him and waiting for Jaune to both go to a date: Hello Winchester.

Cardin: I heard that Jauney Boy is not given you atten- *is converted in to a frozen statue*

Weiss: Yeah I know what follows Cardin. And no, I'm not interested in cheating or being close to you. And now that you excuse me, I must go to a date with me boyfriend *goes to where Jaune is waiting*

3th attempt: Nora Valkyrie

Cardin: Hey Valk- *Is hited by Magnhild in the balls*

Nora: NORA SCORES!!!

4th Attemp: Velvet Scarletina

Cardin: Hey there Slut Bunny!

Sun who was nearby: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU CALLED MY GRILFRIEND BICHESTER!!!??

Cardin shakeking in fear: Nothing Wuko- *is attacked by Velvet with a copy of Crocea Mors*

Velvet: *ALOT of Austrilian insults and slurs* AND GET OUT!!! *grabs Sun abs and start making out with Sun*

5th and final attempt: Blake Belladonna and Yang Xiao Long

Cardin: Hey there bitches!

Blake and Yang who both are furriosly making out not even looking to Cardin: *Both punch Cardin to the orbit*

Later in the hospital

Narrator: And thus Cardin ended in the hospital for all his injuries. What was the moral of the story?

Cardin: Beacon woman are crazy?

Narrator: No you idiot! Is to not act like life is a fucking porno and you are the guy who NTR the MC you dumb fuck!

(Acclarations: I don't hate Cardin, is just that I hate when the use him for NTR, so I decide to create this post with the idea of what would really happend if NTR!Cardin try to steal away women in Beacon and failed misserable)

[madozzy]

An unusual smell in the cafeteria

The group is sitting in the cafeteria when Ruby suddenly wrinkles her nose, sniffing the air with a look of disgust.

Ruby: (sniffing) What’s that smell?

Ren: (calmly observing) It appears Cardin’s body still hasn’t been moved.

Blake: (frowning) It’s been three weeks.

They all exchange uneasy glances, looking over to where Cardin’s body still lies untouched.

Weiss: (exasperated) Has no one thought to clean this up?

Jaune: (shrugging nonchalantly) Guess they’re still looking for the “culprit.” You know, the investigation’s ongoing…

Yang: (trying not to laugh) Guess we’re gonna need another vacation just to get away from the smell!

Ruby groans, facepalming as the rest of the group chuckles at the darkly absurd situation.

[arc-misadventures]

Science Team!

Blake: Are you seriously watching porn by yourself? Cause… maybe I could…?

Jaune: No! I’m with the science team!

Blake: What…?!

Jaune, Ren, Neptune, Sun, Scarlet, Sage, Bolin, Nadir, Cardin, Russel, Dove, Shy, Fox, Yatsuhasi, Nora, Brawnz, Roy, Nolan, Ozpin, Port, Oobaleck:

WHA-AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Blake: What the fuck…?!

[buckyeah]

Me when people ask me for fic recs like i keep track of all the mountains i read or have an actual long term memory that didn't come from my fish brain

[howi99]

A knight second chance 2

JNPR'S dorm

Nora: *looking at Jaune's head* White hair? What are you, old? And how did they change overnight?

Ren: *frowning* Nora, that's impolite.

Jaune: *shaking his head* Don't worry, it's fine. *Looking at Nora* I made some mistakes that i won't commit again. *Smile, patting her head* I got a team to lean on now, right?

Nora: *slight blush from the paternal gesture* Y-yes! And sorry for saying that, sometimes i speak before thinking and-

Jaune: *Laughing* Relax! Like i said, it's fine! You ain't worse than most of my sisters.

Ren: Most of your sisters?

Jaune: *snapping his fingers* Right, i didn't tell you yet! I got seven sisters and-

Pyrrha: *spitting her drink* S-seven!?

Jaune: *nod* Yep, i did say i was from the middle of nowhere. Almost no tv or internet, that doesn't really give a lot to entertain oneself.

Nora: Yesh, must have been hard for your mom.

Jaune: *Laughing* Oh my mom's fine! It's my dad who's suffering the most.

___________________________________________

Port class

Jaune: *looking annoyed, as Weiss fight the boarbatusk*

Pyrrha: *looking at her partner* What's wrong?

Jaune: *sigh* She's not using her glyphs nor has she listened to Port advice. Really, how stubborn can she be?

Pyrrha: *not commenting on it since she stubbornly refuses to use her own semblance* ...

___________________________________________

Jaune: *smiling* Did you know? Dust effects are proportional to both it's quantity and the amount of Aura one can use to activate it.

Cardin: *frantically trying to remove his weapon from Jaune's grip* W-why are you telling me this?!

Jaune: *still smiling* Oh, just wanted to warn you about the explosion. Beware the ring out!

___________________________________________

Ozpin: ... *Goes to speak*

Glynda: *covered in soot* I will take my vacation during the festival if you say one word about my appearance.

Ozpin: ... So, about that raise.

Glynda: Better.

___________________________________________

Cafeteria

Yang: Damn, Vomit boy is a savage! Who would even think about tanking a blow like that!?

Ruby: The mace, the explosion or the wrath of Professor Glynda?

Yang: Yes!

Weiss: Humph, that idiot doesn't even know how to properly fight! Only using brute strength to win.

Blake: *pensive* ...

Yang: *looking at her partner* What's wrong?

Blake: ... Isn't it weird how little he reacted to the blows? Aura doesn't protect from pain and he just takes it, as if it was nothing.

Ruby: *shrug* Maybe his semblance has something to do with pain negation? I saw him helping Weiss during initiation.

Weiss: *sigh* He replenished my aura with his own. It wasn't... *Slight blush* unpleasant...

Yang: *smirk* Ice queen is falling for her knight?

Weiss: *annoyed, still blushing* S-shut up!

[reashot]

Red Like Roses... (It's period 🔴)

Warning: fluffness inside. Also really long.

At Beacon during a more peaceful time.

Pyrrha: Hmmm it's quiet, too quiet.

Ren: I agree. It's never a good sign. We should be ready for something.

Jaune: Ready for what?

Nora: Oh you know usually things never stay quiet for long especially when we're right next door to the main characters.

*yang burst into the room*

Pyrrha: And speaking of the devil.

Yang: Quick hide! *brace the door behind her*

Jaune: Oh Shi- okay gangs we trained for this! Quick initiate Pattern Delta Phi.

Nora: Aye, aye dear leader, let's initiate plan hiding under our bed's like cowards.

JNPR: *Bracing for Impacts.*

*Yang holding the door with all her might*

Ren: Wait what are even hiding from in the first place?

Yang: No time to explain. Here it Comes!

A large sounds resembling explosion came from across the hallway. The door starts to violently shakes and rose petals soon violently burst into the room. Even with Yang putting all her strength into the door. Some rose petals still managed to get inside.

Yang: .... I think we're in the clear now.

Pyrrha: What just happened?

Yang: Eh, promise not to freak out?

Jaune: Okay, I guess...

Yang: Good enough. *shows team JNPR the source of the roses*

Ruby: Huee~ *sniffs* huee~ 😭

Jaune: Ruby?

Ren: It seems to be her.

Pyrrha: Wait. Where are Blake and Weiss?

Nora: Found them. They're buried under all of this Rose petals.

Blake: *coughing up a bunch of petals* Eww I got some of it in my mouth.

Weiss: .... I just saw my grandfather.

Jaune: Okay, can someone now please tell us what is going on....

*Cardin burst into the room*

Cardin: Why the Fuck are there Roses all over the damn hallways!?

Russel: Don't try to lie we know it's coming from team RWBY!

Yang: Wow, wow! False accusation, much?

Dove: Well we can't help it. Because whenever something bad happened It's usually always you four.

Sky: Fucking Main characters shit...

Nora: I know right!

Pyrrha: Nora! Which sides are you on?

Nora: Oops my bad... (I mean, I'm not wrong 😒.)

Ren: *shrugs his head* Nora...

Jaune: Can all of you please stop being aggro for just one second!

You're upsetting Ruby for brother's sake.

Ruby: Wah! Wah! Wah! 😭

Jaune: Also can someone please tell me what just happened?

WBY: *looking at each others*

Yang: *sigh* (I guess I'm the one that should tell everyone.)

How do I gently put this? Ruby is in her special time of the month...

Jaune: Oh...

Cardin: The fuck does that even mean?

Russel: the month?

Dove: I see... (Maybe if I silently nod people will not think I'm dumb.)

Sky: (okay, she had her period. What does that have to with anything?)

Blake: Typical.

Weiss: Can you guys be anymore of a dudebros cliche?

CRDL: Hey!!!!

Yang: Let me put it this way. Every time Ruby has her "special month" her semblance's goes all haywire for some reason.

Jaune: Okay I get the gist of it. Team CRDL go outside and clean the hallway.

Cardin: What! Why the fuck should we clean up their mess?!

Jaune: Because I fucking said so. Now go!

Cardin: Geez... Whatever. C'mon boys, we better clean up team RWBY's mistakes. Again!

*slams door*

Blake: Thanks Jaune.

Weiss: Geez Arc, when did you grow a spine?

Yang: I gotta say Vomit Boy. I never knew you had it in you.

Pyrrha: *blush* (So manly.)

Nora: That's our Jaun-Jaun.

Jaune: Blake, Weiss. Please help Cardin & his team with the clean up outside.

Weiss: What! No way. Why should we help those dunderheads in the first place.

Jaune: Because they're right that the mess was started by your team.

Weiss: I'm sorry, our? For the record it's just Rub...

Blake: We're on it Jaune. C'mon Weiss let's help clean up all this roses. *drags Weiss away*

Jaune: Pyrrha, Ren, Nora. I also want you to go out side and help them.

Pyrrha: I understand Jaune. I will do as you ask.

Nora: Oh c'mon Jaune, why us too?

Jaune: Because they're our friends, Nora.

Nora: Well I'm about to go back to my room... *gets yoinked*

Ren: It's okay Jaune. I will get her to help us.

Nora: *grumble* (Fucking Main characters....)

Jaune: Thanks Ren. And Yang I want you to stay and find Ruby's "hygiene" products.

Yang: Wow, wow! Settle down cowpoke. I don't think you being a man is qualified to be the one to help with Ruby's "issue."

Jaune: I have seven Sisters...

Yang: Sweet brothers in heaven!

Uh, I take that back you're clearly overqualified.

At least I don't have to help clean up. But what're you going to do Jaune?

Jaune: I'm going to go back to my room to make a tea for Ruby.

A few minutes later.

Jaune: Here you go Ruby. A sweet herbal tea with plenty of honey and sugar.

Ruby: ... *sniffs* Thank you Jaune. 😢

*sips*

Jaune: It's okay Ruby you don't have to thank me.

Ruby: But I caused so much problems for everyone. *sniffle*😞

Jaune: *headpat*

There, there Ruby it's okay that what's friends are for. And you didn't troubled me one bit. In fact I'm happy to be of use to you. It reminds me that I'm still useful to someone.

Ruby: Jaune please don't think like that. You always were important to everyone.

Jaune: *kiss forehead*

It's nice of you think that Ruby. But I'm not. I'm not special like you. You're destined for great thing while I'm.... Just me.

Ruby: 0-0

Jaune: What's the matter... Ohhh, ohhh no. I'm so-so sorry Ruby I didn't realize that... I usually did that to my little sister whenever she's sad.

Ruby: *blush*

I-I don't mind it at all Jaune. It's just that if you want to do it to me again a little heads up would be nice. 😖

Jaune: I'm so-so sorry Ruby I promise that I... Wait, what do you mean by again?

Ruby: Uhh....

Yang: *clears throat*

I seems to have interrupted something here.

Jaune: Y-Yang!

Ruby: Sis!

Yang: Look Rubes I don't need to say this but remember what dad said. No boys. And Jaune please don't take this the wrong way but please for your sake please don't get any idea with Ruby. It will not end well for you.

Jaune: O-of course. I will never-ever think of Ruby like that. We're just friends after all.

Ruby: Friends... 😭

*starts crying*

Jaune: Oh, what's the matter Ruby?

[ficretus]

Harem King Championship

Sun: Good evening Guys, Gals and Non Binary Pals. This is annual Harem King Championship. I'm your host, Sun Wukong, part time Huntsman, full time rizzler.

Neptune: And joining him is me, Neptune Vasilias. N of team SSSN, but N of "Not getting a partner."

Sun: It's good to be in Vacuo. Atmosphere is hot and nominees even hotter.

Neptune: So let's introduce them.

Sun: Nominee number 1. You may know him as J from JNPR, but he is so much more. Jovial jock with jaw dropping junk making you jealous cause ya know your lady is gonna join him... Jaune Arc.

*applause*

Jaune: Thank you Vacuo.

Neptune: Nominee number 2. *whispers* Sun, paper just says racist asshole.

Sun: Dude, improvise.

Neptune: *clears throat* Bad boy of Beacon. Watch out for your girl, cause ears aren't only things he likes to pull. Master of cucking, Cardin Winchester.

*crickets*

Sun: Nominee number 3. She has a cold heart, but her caress will melt you. Every maiden will be hers. Don't think, just obey her... Cinder Fall.

*applause*

Cardin: Aw come on, she is literally a terrorist.

Cinder: You'd be surprised how far can being hot carry you.

Neptune: And finally, nominee number 4. This kitty has claws, and mice aren't the only things she is hunting. If you ever join her harem you'll never be left out cause clones are name of her game. On a hunt for title is... Blake Belladonna.

*applause*

Blake: This is for all Faunus Remnant wide.

Sun: Now that we know contestants, it's time to introduce the jury.

Neptune: As much as I'd like to check out some ladies, we have experts for that.

Sun: Jury member number 1. This hunky dad is more than it meets the eye. Partners are temporary, rizz is eternal, Taiyang Xiao Long.

Neptune: Jury member number 2. Some say he has gone through puberty while he was fetus. He has been bagging waitresses for longer than some of us have been alive, Qrow Branwen.

Sun: And finally... jury member number 3.

Neptune: All time record holder of Harem King Championship. She conquered men, women, Grimm and Kingdoms. Let's have a warm welcome for... Salem.

Sun: Wait, really?

Neptune: It's not like we can kick her out.

Tai: Didn't you kill my wife?

Qrow: Yeah, what the hell.

Salem: Let's keep it professional.

Sun: And now a commercial break.

*in Cinder's camp*

Cinder: Oh I can hardly wait to crush them all.

Mercury: Why am I even here?

Cinder: Because Emerald decided saving the world is more important than my special night.

Mercury: It's just a silly Harem competition.

Cinder: Watch your mouth Mercury. This is not just a silly competition, it's a game of life. If I can't rule as Harem queen, then what chance do I have to claim all Maiden powers. I will have this crown and I will take everything.

*in Jaune's camp*

Nora: You got this Fearless Leader, kick their ass.

Ren: Don't be nervous Jaune, odds are still stacked in our favor.

Jaune: Thanks guys. Can't believe I'm to favorite to win it all. This could be my moment, finally accomplish something and beat Cinder.

*in Blake's camp*

Yang: Jaune seems to be the main favorite to win it.

Blake: Oh don't worry, it's all under control.

Neptune: And now jury will rate our contestants.

Sun: Each jury member will give a rating from 1 to 5. Winner will be the person with highest number of points.

Neptune: Let's get ready to rizzleeeee.

Sun: First to be rated will be Jauneee.

Tai: I give him 4. He has that timeless look, muscular blonde with blue eyes. I could easily see him seduce at least 2 partners with that look. Just stay away from my daughters... and stay away from shapeshifting raven haired femme fatales...

Qrow: Ok Tai, let us continu...

Tai: Trust me, sex might be good but divorce makes it not worth it.

Yang: Could you stop!

Qrow: Sigh... Ok, I give Jaune 3. Look is important, but kid, you lack confidence. You need to work on your game. I'd say your Bi appeal is also kind of weak. It might be controversial, but I'd say true harem king can seduce partners of all genders.

Tai: Was that necessary?

Qrow: What, you can talk about banging my sister live but I can't mention some gay experimentation?

Salem: Men are utterly hopeless. Arc, I give you 4 as well. Your appearance is impeccable for the role and your approach is refreshing. However, you remind me of certain someone, so that lowers overall rating.

Neptune: That gives Jaune Arc final score of 11.

Sun: Not bad, not bad. Let's see can next contestant, Cardin top this score.

Tai: Cardin eh. I give 2, and that's mostly because of appearance. I don't like you and I don't like your approach. Also get a job, NTR fics are not funny.

Qrow: I give him 3. Being a bad boy is not... bad. You've got guts, but if you wanna ask a girl out just do it, don't act like a brat. Your Bi appeal could do some work. And fuck what everyone says, cucking is positive trait for Harem king.

Tai: Qrow!

Salem: Shush now. I give Winchester boy 3. Such a contrast between appearance and behavior. Knight should not act like that, yet in some regards that makes him more attractive.

Neptune: Cardin takes second place with 8 points.

Sun: Oof, I guess he really peaked in high school.

Cardin: Behind Jauney Boy, aw come on.

Neptune: And now one of the favorites, Cinder Fall.

Tai: 5!

Qrow: She tried to kill you daughter multiple times.

Tai: Sigh... 4. Too many red flags.

Qrow: I give her 5.

Tai: And you gave me shit for rating her 5.

Qrow: Hey, I'm being objective here. Look, I don't like her, but she is smoking hot, she has domineering attitude and can seduce you in five seconds no matter who and what you are.

Mercury: Well, it looks like you are getting your little trophy after all.

Cinder: Of course, did you really think I'd finish behind likes of Arc?

Salem: Oh Cinder, such a deceptive case. On the surface you possess all qualities of true Harem queen. Less informed individual might even think you are worthy successor to my legacy... but you are not.

Mercury: Uh oh.

Cinder: Shut up.

Salem: No true harem queen has a diary beneath her pillow, hoping for a dashing Prince to marry her. No true harem queen hugs aforementioned pillow and pretends its her Prince. No true...

Cinder: Stop, stop, stop.

Salem: My, my, fine then. I give her 2. Have to cut her some slack.

Cinder: 2?!

Mercury: *giggles* You are tied with Jaune now.

Cinder: Are you kidding me?!

Sun: Well, joke or not, that's 11 points.

Neptune: We have a tie for first place now.

Cinder: Mercury! Find the tiebreaker rules.

Mercury: Screw you, this is too funny.

Jaune: We are tied with Cinder.

Nora: I'll check the tiebreaker rules.

Ren: What about Blake?

Nora: What about her? *snorts* It's not like Fearless Leader is ever gonna lose to her.

*five minutes later*

Nora: Stop the count, stop the count!

Jaune: How did she whoop our ass this hard? This makes no sense!

Cinder: Ha ha, you lost!

Cardin: Nice one Jauney Boy.

Jaune: You lost as well!

Cinder: Unlike you I don't care about this stupid competition.

Mercury: Cinder you are literally crying.

Cinder: *sniffles* Shut up.

Jaune: But hold on, how did I lose this?

Blake: Because I'm the true Harem protagonist of this show.

Jaune: That can't be. I have... Pyrrha and.... That can't be.... What about Mantle moms?

Blake: Can you name any of them?

Jaune: Of course I can. Ca...

Blake: Without fanon or headcanons.

Jaune: Shit...

Blake: See, told you.

Jaune: But wait, that just means I don't have a harem. What about you?

Blake: Yang, Ilia, Sun, Adam and probably half a dozen off screen simps. Face it Jaune, I'm a genderbent Kirito with cat ears.

Sun: And with this, Blake Belladonna is crowned as a Harem queen of Remnant.

Blake: Thank you Vacuo, thank you Remnant. I dedicate this victory to all Faunus Remnant wide. For far too long have we been reduced to secondary harem members, mere fetish fuel. But now, we rule, we too can be Harem rulers.

Cinder: Fuck this.

Mercury: Where are you going?

Cinder: I'm in need of alcohol and large huggable pillow.

Ren: There is always the next year Jaune.

Jaune: Screw this, I'm getting a black coat and katana... and a gun.

*later that night*

Yang: Can't believe I'm dating Remnant's Harem queen.

Blake: *giggles* I was always a Harem queen. Did you pick up the money?

Yang: I did. If you knew you were gonna win it, then what was the point of the plan?

Blake: To inflate betting odds in Jaune's favor. That made me a dark horse...

Yang: More like... dark cat.

Blake: Aw you. That made me a dark cat of the competition, which allowed me to win ridiculous amount of money by betting on myself.

Yang: Still, was that money really worth writing 500 Jaune harem fics?

Blake: Of course it was. Besides, I didn't really write them. I just changed the name of the protagonist of my existing harem fics to Jaune.... 500 times.

Yang: So devious.

Blake: Indeed. Now kneel before your Harem queen.