#because why are they complaining about the new episode as if it wasn’t amazing?

[poohbea]

lemme get off tik tok cause these mfs are ungrateful and got iqs sitting at room temperature.

[yuikomorii]

Ayato is slowly turning into the new “Yui” (she still gets hate too but yk less than other years) of the Diabolik Lovers fandom and I really thought the fandom was healing -jokes on me-

The way they complain about Ayato being too caring now inducing that he’s turning into a simp reminds me of the same people who complained about Yui for not fighting back and calling her weak for that. Let’s just let everyone enjoy whatever characters they want WITHOUT TRYING TO RUIN THEIR FUN ‼️

Also, why did Ayato even get so hated anyway? He was always one of the least horrible ones and right now, after all his development, I don’t find anything so unlikeable about him. He tries to see the good in others despite having such a past full of suffering. If I hear anyone say “because he’s too caring/dumb/immature” I will riot because why would it be bad to be caring with your girlfriend? He isn’t even as immature as people say. Isn’t this the same guy who took responsibility for things that were none of his business but he did so just to help others?

And don’t get me started on the fact he isn’t dumb at all. He’s an idiot because he’s uneducated but his brain power is above average. I played Reiji’s route awhile now and there was this chapter where Reiji helped Yui study for her math test but only after a timeskip she managed to get a right result while in Ayato’s after story, there was the same scene but with different characters and Ayato was able to learn very fast after Yui explained to him and even she found that amazing about him because he started getting all answers right. After I got interested in young blood, I came to the conclusion that he was the only Sakamaki brother who found something suspicious about the ceremony and planned to investigate it. I recall a few other moments but I’m curious to hear if you got a favourite one.

I hope this ask wasn’t too long ;w; I tried to fit my thoughts in but it’s ok if you don’t have time to answer it soon ^^

// So many languages in this word, but you decided to speak FACTS!

The reasons why some people start hating on certain characters, are incredibly embarrassing. Just tell me you didn’t pay attention to the story, without actually telling me that you didn’t pay attention to the story.

They had previously complained about him being too bratty and arrogant, but now that his true side has been revealed, they are still dissatisfied since he is not the "edgy and complex" vampire boyfriend they wanted him to be. Do you like such characters? Good for you but only because you have a preference towards those, doesn’t mean you should tell others how much their bias sucks… it’s just so uncalled??

As you said, something I have always found admirable about Ayato is his ability to be pure-hearted, despite his background. I can’t say anyone got much love yet… Beatrix was strict but she canonically loved both of her children, Christa was mentally ill and had her crazy episodes but it was shown that she still loved and cared for Subaru, and then there’s Cordelia, who truly didn’t show or feel any sort of love towards any of her children. In DF, I’m sure she regretted her actions but saying that she loved Ayato, Kanato and Laito would be an exaggeration. It’s no surprise that the triplets turned out so twisted when they didn’t get a taste of affection or kindness AT ALL. And Ayato’s side goes beyond that, since he literally was the piñata of so many characters.

In YB, he was used as bait, betrayed, and brutally knocked down by ghouls, as well as beaten up to the point of almost getting killed.

In Ayato’s character book, it was confirmed that Cordelia threw him in the lake every time he didn’t study. He had several near-death experiences as a result of her, and she frequently whipped and beat him up.

In the DF prologue, Carla and Shin sent the wolves to especially attack Ayato, not Yui, but Ayato thought they were going after her, so he sacrificed himself for her and used himself as shield so as she wouldn’t get hurt. He got severely injured that in some routes it takes a lot of time until he wakes up from the coma.

In Kino’s LE route, he burns Ayato alive and beats him up afterwards.

Last but not least, he got the Adam curse when he was a child and that’s so painful because it basically means drowning in a state of despair and insanity, until getting to taste something similar to that fig.

final YB chapter

Didn’t count the emotional and mental abuse but the physical one was INSANE. Despite so much torture, even if some of his actions were wrong too, most of the time he continued to value his life and to be empathetic and forgiving to those who mistreated him.

Let's not forget that we're talking about vampires here, who will always be more wicked than humans because, although not inherently evil, they still have a predator instinct, but what's truly fascinating about Ayato's character is that he has such a good soul in spite of learning from an early age that there is no kindness in this world. It's no surprise that Karlheinz was taken aback.

Moreover, I thought everyone was aware that Ayato isn’t actually stupid?? A bunch of his dumb moments are merely used for generating laughter and they’re not meant to be taken seriously. People also need to understand that the Japanese audience loves this kind of characters. They consider him an idiot in the affectionate way, because the lack of knowledge and gullibility make him endearing in their eyes. They don’t think of him as a genuine idiot. After all, nobody would like a character who’s completely dense.

It’s true that he’s impulsive and uneducated, which leads to him making dumb choices but I agree that his brain works faster sometimes than the one of other characters.

One of my favorite scenes is the one in which he eavesdropped on Cordelia, hearing that she only gave Karl children for attention, and he was the only Sakamaki who rapidly succeeded in connecting all of the dots, regarding all of Karl's victims and him being the root of all evil, which was the best revelation reaction in DL. I also enjoyed how, while all of his brothers rushed to kill Karlheinz (except for Laito, who had no battle scene in his route), Ayato was the only one who was like, "I won't kill you because I'd lead your plan to success in that case," and he only killed him after Karl wanted to harm Yui. If you haven't played DF, I recommend saving Ayato's route for last because it provides the most satisfaction.

Don't be concerned about the length! I believe I wrote a lot as well haha, but that's because your ask was so interesting to read! You made some excellent points, and I'm glad you're one of those people that can comprehend a character! 🥹🩷

[itzynabi]

You should’ve known | Don’t Forget Your Breakfast 2 EP.10

posted: 13 feb 2024

word count: 2.5k

warnings: mention of food

an: this variety show is my newest obsession tbh. words in [] are captions. feedback and reblogs are much appreciated 💐

nabi’s masterlist

Sungkyu rubbed his hands against each other, breathing onto them to warm up. “Are we always going to film at five in the morning?” He complained, looking at the camera crew. “The episode with Yena was also shot this early… Why?” Slightly shivering, he put his hands in the pockets of his coat.

“But, I think today’s guest is worth the early working time. It’s Eve!” He announced. “She’s releasing a new album until spring… even though it’s still winter.

[Support the new release, until spring]

“She’s one of the most in demand idols right now, right? I asked some colleagues about her, and they all only had nice things to say,” he explained. “I wonder what she’ll be like in the morning.” He chuckled deviously. “I heard she moved to a new apartment, so here we are in Yeoui-dong. Let’s call her manager to ask some questions.”

Ari walked into frame, bowing politely to Sungkyu. “Hello,” she greeted, shaking his offered hand. “I’m Jeon Ari.”

“Yes, hello. First of all,” Sungkyu began, “do you know how big the apartment is? In terms of pyeong, how much are we looking at?”

Ari shook her head. “I’m not sure, I wasn’t with her when she bought the apartment.”

“Ah, you weren’t?”

“She went with her brother and members to look at apartments,” she told him, squeezing a heat pack between her fingers.

“And do you know anything about the market price?” He asked, chuckling lightly.

[He’s persistent]

“No, I don’t.”

“Ah… I’ll just ask her,” he decided with a definitive nod. “Is there anything we should know before going in?”

“Yes. She’s currently watching her brother’s dogs.”

“Key-ssi?”

“Yes, Commes des and Garçon,” Ari confirmed. “I don’t think they’ll wake her up because she’s a very deep sleeper.”

Sungkyu nodded slowly. “Yes… I wonder if they know how many pyeongs it is?” He wondered aloud.

The scene cut and they were just outside of Nabi’s apartment door. Ari entered the passcode, opening the door to let everyone in.

Sungkyu gasped softly. “The walls are so white,” he whispered in amazement as he walked past the entry-way, turning right to fully enter the apartment. He gasped again, seeing a slightly ajar door to his immediate left. “Is that her room?” He asked Ari.

Ari shook her head. “It’s a guest bedroom.”

“Ah, there are guest bedrooms?”

“Yes. These two rooms are guest bedrooms.” She pointed at the rooms across from each other.

“Let me get a look at them, then,” he whispered, pushing the door more open. He turned on the lights, seeing a bed frame surrounded by a bunch of boxes of furniture. “Ah, she’s not done decorating yet,” he noted as he exited the room. “There are still a lot of boxes.” He continued walking forward as Ari stood in the living room. He looked around the living area, his eyes landing on two princess dog houses. “But… where are the dogs?”

“They’re sleeping in her bed so she can make sure they’re warm,” Ari told him.

He looked at her incredulously. “But they have fur.”

“You can try to tell her that. Her room is that one,” she said, pointing at the door that was between the kitchen and living room.

“This one?” He walked to the closed door, opening it as quietly as possible. One of the staff passed him a microphone as he walked into the room. As Sungkyu neared Nabi’s bed, he noticed the two dogs that were under the covers, their heads sticking out from the blankets, while only Nabi’s hair could be seen. Taking a deep breath to steel his nerves, Sungkyu started singing antifragile into the microphone as the staff turned on the lights, cheering every so often when he forgot the lyrics. As he finished the chorus, he looked down at the bed, noticing that Nabi had not moved, but Commes des and Garçon stirred awake and were staring at him. “Is she not waking up?” He asked, the microphone giving his voice an echo effect.

He scratched his head as he watched the idol continue to sleep. “What should I do?”

The two dogs in Nabi’s bed began to walk out of the covers, sitting on the pillow. Garçon tilted his head as Commes des started growling at Sungkyu, who took a step back. He looked at the camera in fear. “They’re not going to attack me, right?”

“She’s waking up,” one of the staff members said as the camera zoomed in on Nabi’s hand leaving the covers to gently pat Commes des. The dog slowly stopped growling, instead lying down and staring at Sungkyu.

Sungkyu stared at the scene in front of him in amazement, gasping. “Wah… She’s not awake, though,” he expressed his shock, speaking into the microphone. “Manager-nim,” he called for Ari, who appeared a second later, “what should I do?”

“Uh… you might get hurt if you do it, so I’ll do it,” she said, walking around the cameras to the other side of Nabi’s bed. She picked up the two dogs, moving them further down the bed as she placed her knee on the mattress, leaning forward. She gently tapped Nabi’s cheek, catching the hand that flew out in her direction. Holding onto the younger girl’s hand, she continued to tap her until she heard Nabi groan.

Sungkyu took a deep breath before singing the chorus of antifragile into the microphone, causing Nabi to flinch at the loudness of his voice. The dogs rushed to her side immediately, Garçon pushing his paws into her face through the covers.

“... Why?” She groaned, gently pushing the grey dog off of her head. She peeled back the covers to stare at Sungkyu through squinted eyes as he finished singing.

“Good morning, Eve-ssi,” he greeted enthusiastically into the microphone. “What exactly were you dreaming about that you were fighting your manager?”

“I wasn’t dreaming about anything,” Nabi answered after a few seconds of trying to fully open her eyes, rubbing the tiredness from them.

“Is that just how you react to being woken up?”

“Yeah, I guess.” She said, still fighting to open her eyes. “Why are you here so early?” She complained, twisting herself in her blankets.

Sungkyu chuckled. “I don’t know, either.” He looked down at Nabi’s bed, noticing something. “Just how many blankets do you have there?”

“I have the sheet, the blanket, the duvet– Get off of my head.” She pushed Garçon off of her once more, before returning to her sentence, “And the other blankets.”

“You sleep with four blankets?” He expressed his shock.

“Well, yeah. It’s winter.” Nabi rolled off of her side, instead going onto her stomach. Lifting her head, her hair framed her face.

Sungkyu stared at Nabi’s face. “Are you wearing makeup?”

“What crazy person wears makeup to bed?” She stretched her back out in the seal position, a few of her bones clicking in response.

“How old are you that your body is already making those noises?” Sungkyu gasped. “That isn’t normal. Anyway, we’ll give you time to yourself so you can fully wake up,” he told her, watching her look around the room aimlessly, “and I’ll get started on breakfast.”

Commes des moved to sit by Nabi’s hands as his brother barked enthusiastically. Sungkyu left the room, going to the kitchen.

The scene cut and Sungkyu was sitting by the couch in the living room. “Breakfast is ready, Eve-ssi,” he called out, placing two glasses of water on the coffee table.

Nabi emerged from her room shortly after, the two dogs following her. Around Nabi’s shoulders was a yellow throw blanket to keep her warm. She plopped herself on the floor, her back facing the TV. On the table were two platters, one with kimchi dumplings and the other with beef kimbap. There were two bowls of rice for the two of them, another two bowls having beef stew.

“It looks tasty,” Nabi breathed out.

“I think this is the most simple breakfast we’ve ever had,” Sungkyu complimented.

“You’re welcome.”

Everybody laughed at how nonchalant Nabi’s tone was, the idol just yawning. Sungkyu scooped up some rice on his spoon, dipping it in the stew.

“As is customary on this show, I’ll feed you your first bite,” Sungkyu said as he raised his spoon to Nabi’s mouth. She ate the food, nodding in approval.

“Tasty,” she said before yawning.

Sungkyu stifled a laugh as he watched Nabi blink tiredly, looking around the room. “What time did you go to sleep that you’re so tired?” He asked.

“Uh… What?” Nabi rubbed her eye. “I slept at, like, some time in the morning. I think it was three fifty or something,” she mumbled, stumbling over some of her words.

“Ah, then it’s understandable that you’re so tired,” he commented.

Nabi nodded wordlessly, picking up a dumpling with her chopsticks. “Of course.” She ate the food, her body slowly swaying side to side.

Everyone in the room laughed lightly at her behaviour, not used to seeing her so drained of energy.

“This apartment… How many pyeongs is it?” He asked in between chewing a mouthful of rice and beef stew.

Keeping her eyes down, she thought. “I think it’s seventy…” she dragged out the last syllable as she tried to remember. “Somewhere in the seventies.”

“Wow,” he gasped.

“I always had the thought that my first apartment would be a studio apartment or something like that, not anything big by any means,” Nabi said, “but when the people I’m close to found out that I was getting an apartment, they started sending me money.”

“Money?”

Nabi nodded. “They would send me money and tell me to use it for the down payment, utility bills, or furniture. I was given strict instructions not to buy a cheap apartment.”

“Wah… Can you give me the numbers of those people?”

“No.” She shook her head. “If you don’t have their phone numbers, let’s keep it that way.”

“What’s your MBTI?”

“Uh, ENFP.”

“Are you sure you’re F?”

“This is just what I’m like when I’m tired. You’re not special to see this side of me.”

As she spoke, she unconsciously furrowed her eyebrows, her gaze changing from lazy to a glare.

“So, it’s like–” Sungkyu cut himself off when he noticed Nabi’s facial expression.

She continued to stare at him, oblivious to the fact that she looked pissed off.

“Nabi-yah,” Ari called out from behind the cameras, causing the idol to look in her direction. “Your facial expression.”

“My what?”

“Fix your facial expression,” she said.

Nabi blinked. Then again. And again. “My facial expression is fine, though,” she argued.

“You look like you’re angry at me,” Sungkyu told her.

Nabi just shrugged. “There’s nothing I can do about that. This is just what my face looks like.”

“Ah.” He nodded in understanding. His gaze moved to the two princess dog houses sitting in front of the TV console. “The dogs��� Aren’t they male?” He asked.

Nabi turned her head to look at the dogs that were resting on the carpet, her facial expression smoothing out. “I need to give them breakfast,” she remembered with a sigh, not noticing Sungkyu’s shocked expression.

[Unique guest]

Nabi quickly put some premade dog food in their bowls, adding fresh water as well. She returned to her seat soon after. “What was your question, again?”

Sungkyu swallowed a laugh. “Are your dogs male?”

“Yes, they are,” she said.

“Then why do they have princess houses?” He pointed at the dog houses.

She scratched her neck as she ate a spoonful of beef stew. “Since they’re male, am I supposed to make them sleep on the balcony?” The phrasing of her question made everyone laugh. “Where do you think real life princes sleep? In the bushes? Like a man? No, dude. They sleep in princess castles, in princess pyjamas, on their princess beds.” She accentuated her last sentence by tapping the table.

“How could I not know?” Sungkyu asked. “I should’ve known.”

“Right.”

An unexpected silence overtook the room as they both focused on their food.

[...]

“Have you had anything like a housewarming party?” He suddenly asked, breaking the silence.

She shook her head. “I haven’t. I’m not done decorating yet, so I haven’t had one.”

“When you’re done decorating…”

“Then I’ll have one.”

He nodded as he thought of his next question. “By any chance, will you invite me?”

“We’re not friends,” Nabi quickly answered.

[Boundary has been set.]

The camera crew laughed as Sungkyu laughed awkwardly. “Why are you laughing?” He asked one of the cameramen. “What’s funny?”

[This situation]

“So, has anybody visited your apartment?” He asked, changing the subject.

“My members have. They ordered my bed frame for me when I bought this apartment, and when I got the keys, we put the mattress on the floor and slept here. We slept here for maybe a week and then my bed frame came, so we assembled it. And my brother’s been here as well.”

“Key-ssi?”

“Yes.” She nodded. “He helped me assemble most of my furniture.”

“That must be nice.”

“It is.” Her voice unintentionally sounded teasing.

The scene cut and Sungkyu clapped his hands. “You’re coming back with until spring.”

“Yes, it’s my first full album.”

“Ah, is it a full album?” He asked, his eyes widening. “That’s a big step.”

“The company decided…” Her voice trailed off.

“Why is it called until spring when it’s still winter?”

Nabi popped a kimbap into her mouth. “It’s called until spring because the title track, misty dreams, talks about a relationship that has a time limit — a relationship that’s going to inevitably end. And for me, spring is a season of rebirth, just like how flowers bloom. So it’s until spring because I’m letting go of relationships that suck.”

“Ah, it’s until spring because you’re keeping these things until then, and then letting them go.”

“Yes. Some of them might take longer to let go of, but that’s the goal.”

“And the title track is…”

“misty dreams,” she finished for him. “I wrote it with imsuho-nim and IU sunbaenim, and I produced it with N!KO-nim and Dr. JO-nim,” she said. “It’s actually a double title album, but misty dreams is the main one.”

“What’s the other one?” He asked, having a spoonful of rice and kimbap.

“The other title track is called dun dun dance. Seo Jieun-nim and Anna Timgren-nim wrote it, and Ryan S. Jhun-nim and Scott Stoddart-nim produced it.”

“Wah… You’re working with very good people. I think,” he added as an afterthought, making Nabi laugh. “I don’t really know how good they are. Can you sing a bit of the songs?”

“Yes! I’ll sing dun dun dance first.” She sang the chorus of the song, swaying along to the beat. Everyone clapped for her when she was done.

“Did you eat a CD for breakfast?” Sungkyu asked, amazed by how good her voice sounded.

“I ate this.” Nabi pointed at the table.

“She’s still too tired for me to use metaphors and similes,” he noted. “Can you sing misty dreams now?”

“Yes!” She cleared her throat before singing the chorus of the song. “That’s the song,” she said when she was done.

“When this video is out, the album will have already been released, but for us, this is a teaser,” he commented. “They’re both really nice songs and–”

He was cut off by Commes des barking, his brother joining soon after. Nabi nodded as they continued to bark before shushing them.

“People are sleeping,” she told them.

[End!]

tagging: @seolboba // @ateezivy // @ateezjuliet // @cafemilk-tea // @smh-anon // @alixnsuperstxr // @cosmicwintr // @girlzwfun // @txt-yaomi // @moongrlz // @novwonia

©️ kim nabi

[ponzien]

- REMEMBER ME

Summary: When you get stuck in the amazing digital circus the last thing Jax expects is to see and somehow remember the woman he loves…but why? Why only you? Why not anything else and how?

Pairing: Jax x fem!reader

Category: angst + fluff

Disclaimer: My interpretation of the lore is not rock solid and should not be taken as fact. I am not involved in the creation of the show and have limited information on subjects required to write this fan fiction. Thus I will be using what works best for the plot and information blatantly avaaible in the pilot episode of ‘The Amazing Digital Circus’. Enjoy!

READER PERSPECTIVE

The halls were dark and absent of light or color, at least to me. My co workers stared at me in pity and concern. As if I were a victim of a terrible accident. Then again what happened could hardly be an accident, I mean they all knew what happened to my boyfriend of 7 years yet they idly stood by and allowed it to happen. I hated them.

What sent me over the edge? A ring. We could’ve gotten married had it not been for them and their negligence. Stumbling towards the glass window where my friends were on display put tears in my eyes. The characters they’d created being their new bodies. My sorrow quickly transformed into something else when I saw the blood leaking from one of their mouths.

Kade had died. Apparently his body couldn’t handle abstraction like some of the others. While the mental damage was permanent there was a way out, you’d just have to be strong enough. Kade wasn’t, but it was okay because this was my one opportunity.

“Can I be next?!” I asked in anticipation. My boss stared at me intensely. “Why should I, I just sent in Poppy for this exact reason, to replace Kaufmo.” He rolled his eyes. “Well you didn’t know he was dead and you sent her anyways please let me replace Kaufmo instead!” I begged, I had to, anything was better than this. “Fine… boys set her up, she’s going in” I smiled, for the first time in a long time I was happy.

____

I sat down calmly as the headset was placed on me, a bunny, just like his, we’d designed them together for fun when we were 17, when the project had first released. People complained about lack of humanity in the characters, perhaps the company took it personally seeing as I am where I am right now. I felt my conscious slip as the IV was injected into me so I couldn’t feel the piercing pain I normally would’ve.

Was I an idiot? Maybe so. I wouldn’t remember any of this soon and want to return so why leave. Why not face it. Truth be told, a life without the boy id been with since 15 was no life at all. People do the craziest things when they’re in love…

___

Joyful music played as I entered the circus. I could hear someone speaking and then the singing began.

“As gangle, and Kinger and Pomni too, Ragatha, and Jax (Ah!) and then there’s Zooble! (Woo-Hoo) Many wonders can be found, send ya spinning round and round until you fly, to the moon and then the sun and we don’t know why! You won’t believe your eyes, prepare for a surprise, don’t touch that door there’s so much more you don’t know what’s in store watch out for the-“

Cheery music oddly theme song sounding stopped immediately…

—-

that’s the end folks! Let me know if this is actually decent or worth reading it was just a fun little Drabble

[onceuponaloonatic]

a little jihyo centric misahyo post i've had floating around since i watched jihyo in i live alone! sorry if it seems a little disjointed, the angst wrote itself into this without my consent 🙄🙄 lots to come from this au soon!

Park Jihyo was not the type to ignore her alarm clock.

It just wasn’t in her nature. She kept a strict schedule, and to accomplish her goals, she couldn’t start her day late. Even on the weekends or when she wasn't feeling great or went to bed late, Jihyo tried to wake up at the same time everyday. There was always something she had to do, and that thought alone kept her more than motivated.

The biggest disruption to Jihyo’s routine comes in the form of one Minatozaki Sana.

Sana loved lazy mornings. Even if Jihyo would move to get out of bed, Sana would immediately pull her back down into a hug and complain that it was too early, no matter what time it was. As adorable as it was, there were times it was annoying to have to negotiate her freedom.

Mina, on the other hand, left her alone most mornings. Mina hated waking up in the mornings, and dealing with Mina’s later schedule had been an adjustment at the beginning of their relationship. Thankfully, after many negotiations, Jihyo had been able to talk Mina into getting out of bed at ten at the very latest. Sana usually wasn’t picky what time they got out of bed, just that they had filled her “daily morning hug quota” as she called it.

But two wives who hated getting out of bed in the morning were nothing compared to a child who refused to wake up on time.

Nico’s birth threw an entire new layer of complications into Jihyo’s mornings. Nico had taken after Mina, and hated waking up in the morning about as much as she hated bedtime. However, every parenting book Jihyo read stressed the importance of routine with children, and Mina’s inconsistent sleep schedule was not the ideal role model for Nico. Mina herself even admitted it, and would even go as far as to drag herself out of bed early just to show Nico that waking up early was good. It took some time, but Jihyo was eventually able to establish daily and weekly routines for all of them, Nico included. Jihyo had to adjust to the fact Nico insisted on having ten minutes of cuddle time with at least one of them every morning, but it just meant her day had to start ten minutes earlier.

Mina’s depressive episodes usually would throw everything to shit. Mina would refuse to get out of bed, and Jihyo would respect her space, but Sana would get all concerned and try to stay with Mina. Nico would see that only Jihyo was waking her up, and she would get pouty. She wasn’t getting her morning kisses from Sana and wouldn’t get to do her morning routines with each of her moms. Jihyo would sigh, offer to give Nico kisses, and just pray they weren’t going to be late for Nico’s preschool. Eventually, she would get Nico dressed and fed, and then Nico would insist on saying goodbye to Mina and Sana, which would then upset Mina because she hated when Nico saw her like that, and then things would spiral again until someone cried.

Jihyo knew it was a sticky situation all around. She loved and respected Mina, and she did feel bad Nico was so adamant about seeing her every morning, but she also knew that Nico was just trying to get her daily time with all three of her parents in. Nico was a shy kid, and didn’t have many friends at preschool. Her moms were her favorite people, and she just wanted to see them and spend time with them. Plus, given her age, she couldn’t understand why Mina didn’t want to see her.

As Mina’s depressive episodes get longer, Nico stops insisting to see Mina. She even stops asking for Sana’s kisses, just getting ready quietly with Jihyo. Jihyo finds it very unsettling.

“Sorry.” Was the first thing Jihyo found herself muttering that particular morning. She had meant to turn the volume on her alarm down, it had been a late night last night, and while they had an amazing productive talk about their feelings, Jihyo had intended to let Snaa and Mina sleep in. They deserved it after crying their hearts out the night before.

“Jihyo-ya turn it off.” Sana whined, curling into a little ball by Jihyo’s side.

“I am.” Jihyo reached for her phone, quickly swiping the alarm away and checking the time. Jihyo gently moved Sana’s arm off of her, Sana whining as she moved to get up.

“Where are you going?” Sana whined.

“Nico will be up soon, I need to make breakfast.” Jihyo smiled as Sana rolled into her previous space. “I’ll leave you and Mina something.”

“Where are you going? It’s Sunday.”

“I’m going to do some errands. I’ll take Nico with me.” Jihyo muttered, already planning out everything that needed to be done. They were running low on groceries, and the light bulb in the hallway needed replacing, so she would need to stop by the grocery store. Plus, with the cooler weather coming in, Nico would need some new jackets. Given her age, she was growing too rapidly to fit into her clothes from the winter before. So that meant they would need to swing by the department store. Finally, there were a couple loads of laundry that needed to get done, so she aimed to be home before lunch to start on all of it. “Is there anything you want from the grocery store?”

“Mmm… Maybe some yogurt?”

“Of course. Text me if you think of anything else, or if Mina needs anything.” Jihyo kissed Sana’s forehead before moving to the bathroom. Once she brushed her teeth and went through her skin care, she moved to make breakfast. Nico loved eggs, and they had some extra toast lying around from when Tzuyu had come over and made garlic bread, so she decided on a more western style breakfast.

“Mama?” Jihyo was surprised when she turned to see Nico, still in her pajamas. Her hair was messy as she held her favorite stuffed polar bear by its paw.

“Oh Nico.” Jihyo smiled at her daughter. “Good morning. I didn’t expect to see you awake so early.”

“I wanted to see mama.” Nico pouted. She looked adorable, standing in the kitchen half awake. Jihyo didn't allow herself to get distracted though, keeping her attention on the task at hand while her daughter yawned.

“Well hello, why don't you go get your toothbrush and toothpaste and mama can help you while she cooks breakfast?” Nico nodded, running off while Jihyo cracked a couple eggs in the pan. She quickly went through everything they would need from the grocery store again in her head, deciding to get Nico a treat if she was in a cooperative mood today. When Nico returned Jihyo helped her up to the kitchen cabinet and supervised Nico’s teeth brushing, getting her a glass of water to rinse her mouth out with when she was done. Once Nico was settled, she served their breakfast, the two of them eating in realities silence.

“Mama?”

“Hm?”

“Can we go to the park today?” Nico looked so hopeful, her little eyes shining as she looked at Jihyo.

“Let me check the weather,” Jihyo knew she had a lot to get done, but she could move some things around for a quick park trip. “Sorry kiddo, rain all day.” Nico’s face fell at Jihyo’s report, her hand instinctively fidgeting with her polar bear.

“Oh.” Nico stared at the half finished toast in front of her. “Okay.” Jihyo could feel the tension in her daughter. Nico really wasn't having the easiest time, and Jihyo felt guilt tug at her heart as her daughter played with her food.

Ideas ran through Jihyo’s head, playing out any scenario that could possibly improve Nico’s mood. Mina and Sana were out of the question, and obviously anything outside would be out with the weather. Momo and Nayeon were busy, and she was pretty sure Dahyun mentioned them having to do something today. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu were probably out too, considering the fact Tzuyu worked on Sundays and Chaeyoung likely scheduled some clients to fill her free time. Jihyo smiled when an idea came to her, quickly sending a text. She waited until she had a response to turn her attention back to the glum looking toddler in front of her.

“Hey kiddo, why don't you go grab your rain jacket?” Jihyo checked the weather one more time, an idea forming in her mind. “I have a surprise for you.”

“Really?!” Nico immediately looked up from her food, a smile on her face.

“Yeah, let me get a few things and then we can go.”

xx

Jihyo usually wasn't very impulsive.

She really shouldn't be doing what she had planned, there were so many chores that needed to get done at home. Sundays were really the only days she could get chores done, and while Mina and Sana had been doing their best, they had all fallen behind on a few things. However, she would do anything to make Nico smile. And if she had to stay up a bit later that night to finish her to do list, that was okay as long as Nico was happy.

“Mama!” Nico had the biggest grin on her face when Jihyo finally parked. The whole car ride, Nico had been pestering her, asking where they were going and why it was taking so long. When they finally got there however, Nico immediately realized where they were.

“One sec kiddo.” Jihyo laughed, watching how Nico was eagerly unbuckling herself from her car seat. Jihyo moved to help her out, happy to feel the sun on her skin. The rain really had been relentless, but now that they were out of Seoul, the sun was shining brightly.

“Grandpa!” Nico immediately ran to her grandfather when Jihyo opened her door, and Jihyo barely had time to turn around before her daughter was practically mauling her father.

“Nico-ya!”

“Dad, be careful!” Jihyo panicked as her father spun Nico in a circle. “Your back…”

“Jihyo, I’m fine, you worry too much.” The older man laughed. “I've missed you Nico! You’ve gotten so much bigger.”

“Mama said I grew three centimeters!”

“I believe it. You're growing so well.” Jihyo’s father set Nico down. “Why don't you go say hi to Bbuyo? Last I saw, he was near the garden.” Nico nodded, eagerly setting off toward the garden.

“Hi dad, thanks for letting us come out here so last minute” Jihyo smiled when her dad gave her a hug.

“Of course, you are always welcome here.” Her dad looked at her with loving eyes and Jihyo felt like a child under her dad’s gaze. “You look tired.”

“I’m okay.” Jihyo nodded, watching as her daughter looked around for the cat.

“Are Sana and Mina doing okay?” Jihyo took a deep breath, that was a more loaded question than her father probably realized.

“They are doing better.” Jihyo forced herself to smile. She could tell from the look on her father’s face he didn't believe her.

“Well that's good. Tell them I miss them.” Her father smiled. “I was just about to start making some lunch, why don't you help me?”

“Yeah.” Jihyo watched as her daughter finally found her father’s cat, a huge smile on her face as she addressed the animal. “I would love that.”

xx

Jihyo had originally intended the trip to be for her daughter. Nico needed to get out of the house, and she deserved to do something fun. But the longer Jihyo stayed, the more she realized the trip was just as much of a selfish gesture as it was a selfless one.

Her father wasn't super talkative as they made Kimbap together. Just small comments about the task at hand and how adorable Nico looked playing with the cat, who barely seemed interested in her.

“He’s good with her.” Her father smiled as Nico attempted to play fetch with the cat, who was looking at her with his signature annoyed expression.

“He looks annoyed.” Jihyo laughed. “But he isn't trying to scratch her, so that's something.”

“You know he doesn't scratch.”

“He scratched Sana,” Jihyo laughed at the memory. To be fair to the cat, Sana had tried to hug him.

“He would never scratch Nico.” Jihyo’s father nodded. They fell into silence after that. Jihyo made a couple extra rolls of kimbap, wrapping them up to take home with her. Her father always had the best vegetables, and Sana and Mina would be jealous if she didn't share. “Hey Hyo?”

“Hm?”

“Your mom would be really proud of you.” Jihyo feels her entire being freeze at the mention of her mother.

“Dad…” Tears rushed to Jihyo’s eyes at the thought. She didn't normally cry very easily, at least compared to Sana and Mina (who cried at everything), but this topic had that effect on her.

“I'm proud of you too.” Her father grabbed her hand, giving her a gentle squeeze. “You have a good head on your shoulders, and I can tell you love that girl with your whole heart, just like you love Sana and Mina. Just, don't take on too much, okay?” Tears poured down Jihyo’s cheeks as her father looked at her.

“Okay.” Jihyo took a deep breath, trying to stop her tears.

“It's okay to cry Jihyo.” Her father squeezed her hand one more time. “It doesn't make you any less strong. You never want to ask for help, or let people take care of you. But, you can't do everything alone. Let your dad take care of you for a bit, okay?” Jihyo nodded, squeezing her father’s hand back as more tears gathered in her eyes.

“I-I” Jihyo felt choked up as all of the pent up stress and emotions from the past few months rushed to the surface.

“You don't need to tell me, unless you want to.” Jihyo took a deep breath, trying to gather her thoughts as best she could. She couldn't remember the last time she let herself fall apart.

It felt nice to let someone take care of her.

xx

“Are you sure you can't stay the night?” Jihyo smiled as her father looked at the two of them. Nico had fallen asleep hours ago, it was well past her bedtime and Jihyo knew they were already going to get back super late. But she had a class to teach tomorrow, and Nico had day care.

“We’ll come stay for longer next time.” Jihyo had meant to leave after lunch, but she had been swept up into a nap with her daughter when Nico insisted Jihyo lay with her.

“Bring Satang and Mitang with you next time.” Jihyo smiled as she buckled Nico into her car seat.

“I will.” Jihyo nodded. “Speaking of them, Sana says hi.” Sana had texted her when she didn't come home before dinner, concerned something had happened to them. A quick call reassured Sana they were fine, and they would be home later.

“Tell her she needs to come visit soon.” Jihyo’s father answered. “Oh! I almost forgot, take this with you!” Jihyo’s father handed her a large grocery bag. One glance inside showed a bagful of fresh produce and packaged food.

“Dad, you don't have to-”

“You know I have too much. I made some food for you two as well. Take care of yourself okay?” Jihyo’s father opened his arms for a hug, Jihyo easily falling into the hug.

“You too dad.”

“I will.” Jihyo felt like she could cry again in her father’s arms.

“Say hi to mom for me.”

“I will. Be safe driving home okay? Text me when you get there.”

“Okay.” Jihyo sniffled, taking one last look at her father before finally waving, climbing into the car.

Her heart felt so much lighter than when she had woken up that morning.

xx

“Mama.” Jihyo was momentarily surprised when she heard her daughter’s sleepy voice. She didn't allow it to distract her though, keeping her attention on the road in front of her.

“Morning Nico.” Jihyo giggled. “We still have another hour until we are home, you should go back to sleep.”

“I had fun today.” Nico muttered. “Grandpa is always really fun.”

“While I’m glad you think so.” Jihyo giggled. “It would make him really happy to hear that.”

“Was grandma fun too?” Nico had never asked about her grandmother before. They had taken her to visit her grave, but Nico had never really asked about her.

“Yes.” Jihyo muttered. “She would have spoiled you rotten.”

“Do you miss her?”

“Yeah…” Jihyo felt herself grip the steering wheel tighter at her daughter’s question. “I miss her a lot.”

“I miss ka-san.” It was so tiny, Jihyo didn't almost hear it. But Jihyo felt like her heart was breaking at Nico’s admission. “Will she be better soon?”

“Nico…” Jihyo couldn't think of anything to say. Her brain was turning over any possible explanations or reassurances, but anything she tried to say died on her tongue.

Nico falls quiet after that, and when Jihyo glances back at Nico in the rear view mirror, she sees her daughter is fast asleep.

[d3sertdream3r]

I really liked the Ahsoka show but it also felt kinda weird to me idk what did you think of it?

I have the same feeling as you, anon. Overall I liked the show, but I didn’t love it. There was a lot going on mythically/symbolically, but it didn’t all land narratively for me. 

First of all, there was a big Lack of Backstory™ problem going on through the whole thing. 

There was a lot of telling and not nearly enough showing. Ahsoka and Sabine are supposed to be the emotional heart of the story, but we don’t know anything about their history besides vague references. 

We see in the first couple of episodes how much Sabine loves Ezra, but the general audience doesn’t have a clue who he is and once she finds him, it’s just business as usual. Their hug was great but for those who don’t know their backstory (and even people who do), it doesn’t really hit emotionally because there wasn’t enough time spent on showing their relationship in live action and them getting to know each other again after a decade apart. 

We didn’t learn anything about why Morgan is so desperate to bring Thrawn back despite the fact that the Empire eradicated her people. We didn’t learn anything about how they knew each other before he was yeeted to another galaxy. 

We don’t know much about Baylan and Shin’s relationship either. They’re cool and mysterious, and that’s about it. He tells her he trained her to be something more and then decides to leave her on her own in the very next episode to take her place in the new Empire. Why wouldn’t he take her with him if he wanted her to be something more?

I understand that this is part of a larger story, but every season of any show should have solid character arcs that tie into their series character arcs. I just personally didn’t feel like the character arcs were developed enough this season, largely due to Filoni not delving into anybody’s motivations beyond surface level. 

I think having flashbacks between Ahsoka/Sabine and Ezra/Sabine would’ve helped a ton. It also would’ve been a good idea to have a Rebels recap at the beginning of the first episode for those that didn’t watch the show. Kenobi had a Prequel recap that was gorgeously edited and summed everything up before diving in.

As far as the cast:

EMAN ESFANDI IS THE LOVE MY LIFE!!! I adored every single scene he was in, every single mannerism and facial expression he made, his smile gives me butterflies, and his curls are to die for.

Natasha as Sabine was really good, but her character needs work. She didn’t translate nearly as well as Ezra did into live action imo, which is not Natasha’s fault at all. It was 100% a writing problem for me. The first two episodes nailed her character, but as the series progressed she started to flatten out.

Rosario feels really stiff to me. I don’t know if it’s her or the writing or both. I’m not familiar with much of her work, so I can’t really say. She just seemed really apathetic about everything despite her dialogue saying otherwise. I really love Ahsoka, so I hope her live action portrayal gets better, whatever the issue is! 

Hera was given crumbs, but MEW absolutely crushed it! I’ve seen a lot of people complain about her portrayal, but I thought it was amazing. I need to see more of her immediately!!

Lars is spectacular as Thrawn, but the writing didn’t quite make him as intimidating as he was in Rebels. I want to see Lars get to chew the scenery in the future!

Other thoughts:

I feel like the Baylan/Shin dynamic is kind of what Maul and Ezra would’ve had if Maul found Ezra before Kanan did. I really hope they expand on that, especially since it was mentioned twice that Ezra is like Shin. It’s super interesting!

I want to know why Thrawn is so pro-Empire without any mention of the Ascendancy. I hope they don’t turn Thrawn into a generic mustache-twirling villain. He isn’t AT ALL, and that’s the main reason he’s a fan favorite in the first place. 

I need Ezra to be in every Star Wars project going forward! I can’t wait to see him interact with all the other characters in the Mando Era!!

Anakin was awesome, but I needed him to have a deeper conversation with Ahsoka considering the last time they each other, he tried to kill her. 

I need Leia and Ahsoka to interact, or at least a reference that they know each other! Ahsoka telling Luke and Leia about their parents (especially their mother) is really important to me! 

Jacen is the cutest! Ezra and Jacen are going to be the most cinnamon roll master and apprentice duo of all time!!

PISSED THEY CUT BEFORE HERA AND EZRA COULD HUG!! WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL!!!

WHERE IS ZEB?? IS HE SAFE?? IS HE ALRIGHT??

[the-owl-tree]

as someone who has watched literally nothing about mlp but had always had an interest in it and its fandom like xenofic bugs in a jar, im living for this new pony tangent. what are your favorite and least favorite brony tropes, when it comes to the fan media they make?

you and me ngl lol i’m both surprised and not surprised at the response to my mlp posting, the mlp and warriors community feel like they’d definitely cross over lol

also good god this got long

I feel like I have to preface that the community was a huge inspiration to me and the sheer amount of creativity that people put into their pony projects is still amazing. It’s so clear that a lot of the songs, animations, literature, and general fan creations came from a place of love and a lot of that inspired me to try new things! For all the bad press “bronies” got (and let’s be real, a lot of media outlets just wanted to mock them), it’s clear that a lot of older fans were having a blast creating. I still listen to a lot of the songs from the community and watch lullaby for a princess or rise the moon from time to time because of how much they still hold up.

I guess lore is a double edged sword? Because on one hand, I love reading too deeply into media that does not call for it. I loved reading the analysis on class divisions in mlp and I really liked the critical side of the community, it helped me really develop my own skills as a kid and helped me question a lot of the stuff that I was consuming. I loved watching reviews of episodes or hearing what my favorite artists thought! I think a vocal community can definitely be a double edged sword, but it really did encourage me a lot in speaking up about my interests.

But I don’t know if that’s a trope lol so I guess…definitely the sociopolitical analysis of pony society. The ones that picked at the show and what it intentionally or unintentionally would say. I love that stuff, it’s super fun to dig into. But on the other side, lore was something a lot of people held up as the best aspect of the show, and there was this sort of clamoring for the writers to dump more and more. Which, look, a lot of the original lore was weaved within dialogue or conflicts, it wasn’t quite “dumped” on the audience as it became in the newer seasons.

But there was this sort of fascination by some on war and the military in the pony universe. This obsession with royal guards and political conflicts, and I guess in some ways I get it? But also, look, it was peddled by a lot of self-proclaimed military bronies. It does not help the show did in fact do a little pandering with one of the episodes actually featuring an alternate universe where the ponies go to war and we get to see them in full armor 😭 like there was this big fascination of the princesses killing and leading battles and it just was not for me.

Hm….maybe nextgen stuff? I always did like the idea of seeing what happened next and all the various pairings. Though sometimes that did give a lot of artists the chance to be edgy and admittedly a bit inappropriate for the pony show. Like with lore, double edged sword I suppose. Can’t complain too much, I was a pretty edgy kid and loved angst and edge and drama! Still do but I keep it for my uh older audience OC’s.

Hm let’s see….fascination with side characters. Maybe because the show indulged them a little too much. I can’t blame the fandom for everything when the writers weren’t exactly tempering expectations. But that’s the same reason why I enjoy it! I loved seeing people provide full on backstories and character to ponies who were mentioned once (someone gave the idea that Woah Nellie is an outspoken activist and i still love that).

But yeah! Honestly? The ultra violent military obsession has always just been the weird one for me. It’s fine and I get why some people would be interested in the social and politics dynamics of a pony military, but I think the people who really liked it just liked the idea of the ponies going to war with cool weapons and fancy armor and not much else (gotta show how MANLY mlp is amiright guys)

I feel like there’s others but nothing is coming to mind rn other than the insane amount of sexual content.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I bought Jon Richardson’s book a couple of years ago. It was from 2010, the cusp between his radio years and his panel show years, and I wasn’t sure what Jon Richardson to expect from it. I hadn’t bought it in the two years before that, even though those two years contained the peak of Jon Richardson phase (Basically what happened is… you know how in 2024, I decided to try to stop drinking at the same time as I got really into John Robins and that led to possibly over-identifying with the material? Well in 2020/2021, I discovered Jon Richardson not long after I’d moved out of living with my best friend because I kept having breakdowns about not being able to control every tiny thing about our shared space and also life in general and it made me terrible to live with, and it nearly broke up a friendship and ruined much of my life, and getting into Jon Richardson at that point created a similar effect. I’m still a bit amazed at the number of hours I put into watching every single episode of 8 Out of 10 Cats/Catsdown and listening to all 125 hours of a radio show from 2006-2008, among other things, but that was at least a bit of the reason why. Incidentally, my friend and I have recently become roommates again as I have become less difficult to live with/he bought a house and needs help paying the mortgage, it’s actually been going very well so far, he cleans more than he used to and I have fewer breakdowns than I used to about things not all being as I want them, and genuinely, I think my Jon Richardson phase helped with the latter part of that as it made me recognize some of some of my own maladaptive patterns and get better at consciously letting things go. Also, the world ended between then and now and the problems we used to have don’t seem to matter as much anymore), because I’d seen the cover and it looked like it was sort of marketed as a zany dating guide for quirky people. I thought that might have been the beginning – or an early pre-empting – of Jon Richardson taking all my favourite things about himself and packaging them into something much neater and blander and more marketable that was still fun for a while but eventually descended into a caricature. So even when I was watching everything else he’d ever done, I never bought his book.

Until a couple of years ago, when I actually looked it up, and found that it seemed different from what I’d expected. I looked up the consumer reviews and jumped to the ones with the fewest stars, because that’s how I usually do that. If I’m looking up something’s reviews, I don’t need to hear about its best features, the marketing will tell me that anyway. I want to know if its worst features are things I won’t mind. The worst reviews for Jon Richardson’s book all complained that it was too depressing, that he was sort of messed up in a fun and relatable way on panel shows and they bought the book because they liked that, but in this book he just comes off as a horrible nightmare and it’s hard to read. And I said, great, that’s exactly the version of Jon Richardson I want. So I bought the book, read it, greatly enjoyed it, cried several times, it’s fine. It was very much that version, the book might be the darkest I've ever seen him get.

I was thinking of that today (partly because in light of recent events that version of Jon Richardson might be… nope I’m sticking to no comment on that), when I read Steve Bennett’s review of Tom Ballard’s new show. Chortle gave him 4.5 stars last year for a show I loved, so I was curious to see if he could live up to it this year. He didn’t at least in Chortle’s eyes – he was down to 3.5.

However, once again, I was able to establish how much I’ll like a show but what criticisms are levelled against it. If Steve had said that Tom Ballard hit strong material last year but has now reverted back to relying more often on cheap shock value-based sex jokes, then I’d probably still have wanted to see the new show (I do like a lot of the cheap shock value-based sex jokes in Tom’s older shows, but I think he’s better when he’s using them fairly sparingly and around more interesting stuff), but I’d have been less excited about it.

However, Steve Bennett didn’t say that. He said the most negative points about this show were that Tom Ballard is too loud, too relentless, too over the top in his efforts to bludgeon the audience with his points. And that is my favourite Tom Ballard. I know it’s not for everyone, I genuinely think that’s fine, I’m not even sure why I like shouty comedy in a few circumstances (Nish Kumar, white gay Australian Nish Kumar Tom Ballard, Jen Brister, Michael Legge) and find it unbearably annoying in most others. If you find it unbearably annoying in the forms where I like it, then that's absolutely fair enough. But personally, I'd be quite upset if anyone told me that Tom Ballard is not going to come to Edinburgh this year and relentlessly bludgeon us over the head with his shouty angry points.

Also, that bit the review references, in which he takes Tweets out of context, sounds pretty bad - ironically, when described out of context - but actually, I found that pretty funny in his video from this year's MCIF gala:

Now that I listen to that again, I might actually find that really annoying if it came from a different comedian. But I felt like I could watch Tom Ballard read that list all day.

A bunch of those new MCIF reviews look interesting. The Laura Davis one has probably pushed them to the top of my list of people for whom I could buy Edinburgh tickets right now, but haven't booked them yet (so everyone except Nish and DO'D for that), but should probably just fucking book them because there's no way they'll get pushed off the final cut of my must-see list. Laura's probably just ahead of Tom Ballard on that list. The MCIF reviews have kicked Greg Larsen and Zoe Coombs Marr up a couple of places on the list, probably. Oh, and I've become somewhat obsessed with the 2023 Dan Rath special that I just watched a couple of days ago. There are too many things. I can't go to the UK and spend the entire time watching Australians.

Anyway, to summarize the post, the Tom Ballard review reminded me of that Jon Richardson review that made me want to buy it more, various events of this week have also reminded me of my Jon Richardson phase, a phase I have now moved past and look back on with anything from mild sheepishness to full-blown mortification (to the occasional bout of "actually, you know what, I think I was right about that"), but to be fair to Jon, that's how I look back on most things.

[alaffy]

Gossip Girl, Ep.2x10 - I am Gossip (Spoilers)

Ok, well, that clearly wasn’t supposed to be a series finale at all.  I’m not really going to get into the who or why the show was cancelled. Yes, the show could’ve done things differently that may have kept the audience or made more people want to watch. Lord knows I complained a lot about the first season.  At the same time, given the purge that HBO Max has been going through with their own original shows…I got a feeling that no HBO Max show is really safe.  As for this show finding a new home the odds are pretty non-existent.    

I’m also not going to a recap as such.  Some stories aren’t really worth discussing.  For instance, because of the interview, we all knew that the throuple wouldn’t be together at the end of the episode; but they were supposed to together at the end of the series if it had continued.  It’s too bad we couldn’t have seen the happy ending, but at least we know that what happed here wasn’t the planned one.  And, yes, it’s pretty obvious the guy Max met in Berlin is the friend of the guy Zoya met in Italy.  Imagine those double dates.  

Speaking of which, there are some things I would be curious to know about or what would happen in season 3. Would Obie find a way to clear his mother’s name and oust his sister from the company?  Would Nick be able to clear his name and would the De Haan’s be caught?  Would Monet finally break free of her mother and see her own self-worth?  And what would we have learned about Julien’s and Zoya’s mother?

Now, there are some thing that I am happy about that happened in this episode.  I’m glad Luna decided to be in charge of her own destiny. She’s so above all this petty BS and she’s amazing at what she does.  I’m glad she decided to focus on herself.  Also, I would say she’s the most improved character in this series.  She went to a lacky who’s name I couldn’t remember to, perhaps, my favorite character.

Second, I’m glad Kate got caught.  Not just because of her comeuppance; but because we know that the writers didn’t have time to do a reshoot let alone a rewrite.  Which means the writers were already planning on getting rid of Kate as GG this season. I think that was the most satisfying part of the episode because it truly showed that, no matter how much Kate said she was doing this to make the kids better, it really was all down to her ego.

I'm also not going to lie, I love that scene after the credits.  It’s not because they were going to turn GG into an app; it’s because this new version of GG is being spearheaded by Aki’s Dad.  It’s because it would mean that GG, or the person who controls GG, is Malcolm McDowell.  I’m got to admit, if that had always been the case, I probably would have enjoyed the show more; just for the shear ridiculousness of it.  

But beyond that, there’s really not much more to say.  The show kind of went out with a whimper, but it’s simply because it’s so clearly not an ending.  There’s not that satisfaction of one.

[sexwithamanda]

Sometimes life delays your flight twice.

Episode #082124

Reporting live from my flight to Houston, which is insane because I’m supposed to be going back to Florida but, this is the cards I’ve been dealt with.

Don’t worry I have a connecting flight to Tampa, and my wonderful boyfriend is picking me up. The love of my mf life.

Let me be clear, not upset. Super incredibly thankful that I’ve been blessed to live such a beautiful life.

I was on a trip with my family that was only supposed to last till Sunday, it was not in my intention to stay an extra two days. It just kind of happened.

With no control of my own, I got TWO flights cancelled in the span of 24 hours. I am a firm believer that, there’s a reason why I couldn’t leave.

I had to experience the rest of the trip with my family, I mean the blessings didn’t end. My dad and my cousin both said how they wished that I could stay the entire time with them for my aunts birthday.

I got the chance to, what a lovely time it was, to all be in the same place at once. It was nice to not think about work, but most of all it was nice to be able to go back to places that I hadn’t been back to since I was child.

It had been a good 15 years since I had been back to this restaurant, I remember it being so luxurious to go to, now as an adult. I can see the rose colored glasses are taken a bit off, the filter isn’t there.

I’ve been blessed to have some of the most amazing foods in the world, the place we went to is called “Seabra’s” and it’s in a Portuguese part of New Jersey, and as a kid. It was packed as heck.

Picture this, walking in. People are coming fast everywhere with plates filled with seafood, it smells fresh, crisp, and be the way the rush of warmth come to you as you walk in, remember we’re in jersey in march I believe, but my little brain can’t recall the timing. I just knew it was too cold to be outside for me.

I’ve got island blood plus Floridian blood, which means I need it warm as possible. It goes below 70 degrees, I’m complaining.

We get sit right in the middle, in the back. A table is a bit bigger than normal, I’m sitting across from my mom and dad. I don’t look at the menu, I don’t have the chance to, my dad orders everything for both of us.

I know now that I never stopped thinking or looking around, and what is it to think back that far. Man, I feel old. I mean do you ever really think about the experiences you’ve had as a child and it seems you’re looking outside into the little person you were before.

Anyways, then an array of plates come to our table, SO MANY. I’m thinking dad you ordered so much. This is incredible. Mussels, clams, shrimp, lobster, so many things in different pots and pans. All of them covered the entirety of the table. It was a magical sight.

My dad has asked me “you’ve ever seen anything like this?” I shook my head no. I felt like royalty.

Flashback to this weekend. It was the same type of place, not much changed. The parking situation did, no more paying for parking, they had their own lot.

Walking in was as nice as it remembered but not as magical as an adult.

We were sat down, and it wasn’t packed. It felt like a bit off, and now I had my cousin, my aunt, and my parents with me. It was a restaurant, and it was different. Not a bunch of plates, just one big plate with the little pots and pans on it, and smaller portions but more expensive. As my dad explained.

Yes, it was as good, fresh, and I could finally really enjoy it and remember it. But as a child, it was something different.

And maybe it’s due to Covid, maybe it’s due to the change of the price on the menu, but maybe it’s because it wasn’t new anymore.

I had been there, done that. And most of all I am an adult now who thought of how much I could eat. Needed to stop myself, and how as a child nothing worried me.

It was a beautiful time seeing my aunt light up, but it’s not like they came and sang her happy birthday, they had a MACHINE do it. It was distasteful. It felt commercialized and that’s when I knew that this place lost a bit of their magic.

And as an adult, I’ll savor the memory as a beautiful time with my family and chop it as my dad wanting to show something nice but also that’ll probably be one of the last times I’ll ever go there.

Not worth it.

I think the biggest thing is that I also finished reading a book called “Think Again” by Adam Grant. Now I know that’s were all ready to hear, because I read considerably a lot and I tend to try to make a review but this book resonated so much with me that I had to implement it into my daily life the minute I started learning concepts in it.

My mind began to rethink things, I started to have conversations with my family that I’ve had before and I started learning discreetly that my dad couldn’t form other opinions because he based all his thoughts on things that he had learned years prior, so had my mom.

I explained something, brought by example and when talking to them, regardless of my family they would focus on one thing I said, not the bigger picture. I would continuously ask questions and then they got frustrated because they said that I was being ridiculous.

Then something happened on this trip that made me realize that they were both hard to tolerate in general.

But, they both couldn’t grow to be better because it had everything to do with their own ideas and beliefs that were engraved so heavily into their repertoire that any conversation I had with them would go nowhere in changing there minds.

I obviously think that some things are meant to be personal and not shared to everyone online but in reality, how do other people learn from each other if we don’t give our experiences and what we’ve been through to also not only help others but also make them aware that things like this happen.

We can change, we can learn. We can be better.

The old-time thinking that my dad consistently said on this trip that made me laugh is that “I don’t need to grow to be better, I don’t care, I’m gonna die in a couple of years.”

It was a sound of defeat. And, that mentality baffles me because I use to consider him one of the smartest people I’ve ever met.

But that was when I didn’t question anything he said and did everything he said. I just believed it all.

That’s not how life works, we should question things, we should fact check, we should seek new understanding when things are presented to us.

You can learn something from everyone, and yes he’s smart. He just stopped wanting to learn things or see things from different perspectives and that’s okay.

He is allowed to his own beliefs, his own opinions, as well as my mom. I love them both so dearly.

I have to reference that me saying these things does not mean I don’t love my parents, I do. So very much.

You can love people and want them in your life, even when they think differently from you, live a whole life that is different from yours, and have beliefs that are not aligned with yours. It’s your family. You should always try to find a way to move past all of it to make a relationship, in my case I got very blessed.

I can’t thank the universe, god, and manifestation enough for blessing me with such wonderful parents.

Now, here’s the thing that happened.

Let me preference this with saying, all couples fight. But damn how I wish I didn’t have to deal with it with my parents.

They fight like an avoidant and anxious attachment, it isn’t a healthy way.

My dad got so mad at me when I asked him questions about how he was feeling, he stormed off and left the hotel. Didn’t say where he was going. It was how do I say this, a dick move.

The words exchanged between them weren’t too nice, but it was also blinded by emotion.

I asked questions to understand and my mom did too, and he explained it and I said okay well now I understand. Instead of that being it, he got really upset and left. I’m all about people being upset and leaving but you don’t leave and not tell anyone where your going.

Especially if it’s your wife. What’s the deal with that?

I also want to say, if I’m a writer and that’s what my dad always says I should do let’s be clear I’m following his wishes, sorry dad that you thought this wouldn’t be included but it effected me highly.

My mom didn’t deserve that, and sometimes I read other people’s stories about their family and how there is a reason why they’re filipino moms are that way.

Gosh, how disrespectful it was to do that to my mom.

She was worried, she kept texting and calling, which is the anxious attachment. My dad is the avoidant attachment, instead of facing it. He ran away.

Yes, sometimes they can fill-flop. But I had to side with my mom. She was so upset, and she had every right to be, all she was doing was trying to understand how sick he was feeling. And so was I.

My mom decided to sleep in my bed with me. I think it was the first time I think I understood why she was the way she was and she didn’t want me to push her away anymore. She rehabilitated our relationship because in reality; I’m one of the few people who can understand fully everything. I mean I’m her daughter.

My dad came back to the hotel room around midnight or a bit later. No apology.

I’m sure he barely slept. He didn’t remind mom and I when breakfast was that morning but I had seen what time it ended so I got up early. It was so passive aggressive, but my mom told me not address it.

I explained to her, that this type of behavior is unhealthy, that is not what he should be doing ever.

You should not tolerate being treated like this. Ever.

Now, as I write this it makes me so annoyed because he still hasn’t apologized for his actions, for making my mom feel like that. I rolled off him being upset at me, his anger was towards my mom and it was over her trying to understand the situation.

He tried to pretend like it was alright but it wasn’t. I couldn’t even look at him most of the next day. My mom have this unspoken bond, I have that with my cousin and my aunt too, sometimes we look each other and we just know what we’re saying.

As an adult, I couldn’t let it go.

Who are you to treat my mom that way? This is supposed to be the love of your life. You aren’t supposed to do shit like that, how long have you been together to know each other to be BETTER.

My mom then told me that, it rarely happens but sometimes they fight. When things like that do happen.

The more I look at the relationships I’ve had in my life and my parents, and others, I know that no one has no idea what’s going on but also they don’t talk it out.

Relationships, when things like that happen, apologize, learn, explain. Do better.

I hope that they work it out. I’m not there to be the middle man anymore, when I was kid I did that.

I’d say that they know better, but how could they when they don’t want to learn to be better.

It’s like they’re breaking their legs before they even try to run the marathon.

Life is short, love who you love.

But make sure to know that you deserve the best always.

Now, back to my favorite part of the entire trip.

I got to visit Ellis Island, when I tell you it was such a ball of emotion that was all at once. And my dad and cousin wanted to run through the museum. I could’ve probably stayed there all day and one day I’ll comeback with my boyfriend or whoever and we will take the time to really look at it, savor it.

So many people immigrated to the USA through there. It was like 12 million and they all had to get screened and when people saw the stature of liberty as their steamboats came into the harbor they would cheer.

What a lovely sight to see, what a ball of history that so many people got to pass through.

I learned that they had turned it into a place where the held so called criminals and people they deemed not worthy to come into america. It cramped spaces and they have a library there as well, just by appointment. I wish we had one, I love history and reading so much and this place had everything in it. They had original columns in it, preserved with peoples signatures and drawings on them as they waited for the okay to come in.

People easily faked papers to come in as well, they just had to get all the questions correctly when asked about themselves. Insane that so many people right now have different last names then what they were actually supposed to have because their family lied about their last name to come in.

Another interesting thing they had was a way to look up your family in a research session. You could make an appointment and work with someone who look the records with you to find how your family went through Ellis.

Right next to that was a way to establish a memory that you visited Ellis Island. You put your name and they make a certificate for you. It’s so cute. I made one for myself and for my mom. She said that she would print it and frame it.

I was so enthralled with the way they had made this museum interactive and how everything that you bought in the gift shops were all going to the nationals parks foundation. I loved every little bit of it.

If we could’ve stayed there for more hours I would’ve loved to, but it didn’t get to happen but we then took the ferry to the Statue of Liberty.

What a different look I had the pleasure to see, when I say I got so lucky to have been able to come to this part of the trip I mean it. I was supposed to leave on SUNDAY. This part was TUESDAY. Like god really said, yeah you’re not leaving yet.

I was blessed to see the Statue of Liberty from the pedestal, walking around it. It was a ridiculous sight, insane how wide and bright everything looks from up there and then looking up, there is lady Liberty, standing tall, brave, and courageous. The pictures I got were breath taking. I’ll show them as well.

What a sight to see, can’t believe how lucky I am to be able to experience this. Now that I spoke a little about my favorite thing, the first night was one of the best nights as well.

Since I was like 9 years old my dad has been telling me about this place called Belmont, it’s been in Newark, NJ for like 1,000 years I’m just exaggerating here but a really really really long time. They make a special plate called stretch’s famous chicken savoy, he raved the hell out of it. I’m glad that I got to taste it as an adult because I don’t know if child me would’ve liked it as much.

Now, I’ve never heard of chicken savoy till my dad, didn’t know what to expect and it was vinegary and sour and sweet all at the same time. The chicken was tender and fell right off the bone. It was delicious and they had these shrimp beeps, with a sauce that I couldn’t stop eating. I could’ve eaten that forever. I wanted to marry it, it was the good. Sorry to my boyfriend.

Lastly one of my favorite memories from this trip, is last night we tried a NEW place, yes you heard it right folks, my dad stopped the car to try a new place.

I was exhausted from waking up early, and dealing with my parents and seeing everything, we walked into this place called “Allegra” it looked super nice inside but not a lot of people in there, and my dad complained afterwards that there wasn’t enough people in there and in hindsight that might be true but it’s a TUESDAY. All of the restaurants he know of that he wanted to take us to were closed, makes sense because they don’t get a lot of business on Tuesday.

I didn’t expect it to be so good, I was being a bit judgmental, I mean. No one is in there, the reviews are okay, our waitress keeps asking us to move. But then we got comfortable, the appetizers came and my dad got snails. Something I’ve never seen in my life.

I tasted one and we shared the whole thing, it was small little snails in this garlic sauce that tasted so good I dunked bread in it, that’s when you know a sauce is good. Is it dunk worthy? If not, it’s probably not that good.

We used little forks to get them out and my mom who doesn’t like snails had someone and liked it, that’s when I knew this place would be a hit.

My mom and I had steak, when I said it was so good, I want to taste it again, then they had Portuguese beans, and of course fries.

It was around rush hour and my dad didn’t want to drive in it so we started talking a bit, and my cousin drinks a lot, all the time actually.

His go to is Jamison and coke, and I don’t drink much but I’ll take a shot of tequila, that’s what I said to him.

We’re finishing up this dessert he ordered that was vanilla cream crepe with orange and caramel. Bro, what a dessert, sweet and refreshing.

My mom is like no drinking, I have to be up early. It’s like 5 pm, I’ll be fine.

My dad gives us our suggestions for shots, he orders them for us. One is Felipe, and it’s SO STRONG. He tells her to warm the bottom. It burns going down. Fuck, I’m not a drinker this is a lot and it’s just a shot.

My face is hilarious, my mom takes a video because that’s what we do, we need proof. I drank something haha.

It’s still too early to leave, my dad starts asking if they have this specific liquor. The best thing our waitress does is come with the bottle to make sure it’s the right one.

This next one is called Marie Brizard, the sweetest fucking alcohol I’ve ever had in my life, before we get that shot my dad asks her to put a flame on them. A fucking flame? What the hell? I’m confused now.

She does just that. It has a flame on it. I blow it out and it’s burning my mouth. I can’t drink it.

Mikey my cousin goes, “fuck it let’s go!” I shotgun it.

It’s straight sugar, it’s so good. I don’t licorice really but in this from, please give me a glass!

I was drunky drunk already.

I loved it, and I thank my dad for teaching me how to get drunk faster!

By now, you’re probably tired of me talking about this trip, but let me tell you, what a turn of events that worked out so much in my favor.

Thank you god!

Until next time,

Mahal Kita.

Amanda

P.S. Go on that trip you keep putting off, traveling is a drug I know, but everyone deserves to explore and see different parts of the world and sometimes it might just be your own neighborhood, never be afraid to try something new. I know it’s scary but the more you do something, the less scary it becomes. You can do it! Sending all my love.

Just a couple of pics of my travels ✨

[whatsonmedia]

Why Depression is Nothing to be Ashamed About

After Years of Secretary and Shame, Depression Needn't be Embarrassing Just recently British news presenter, Huw Edwards, spoke openly with BBC Disability reporter and Disability Correspondent Nikki Fox and Emma Tracey about his experiences and struggles with depression and why it's so embarrassing. Now, this begs the following question; if we know how our struggles with mental health can lead to further problems including suicide, why is it that a great many of us are still too embarrassed to openly discuss it, let alone confront it head-on? Now, this is something that I have spoken quite openly about in my previous columns. And my thoughts about this issue are something I have always made quite clear. We need to stop feeling so humiliated by it and have those much-needed conversations. In the podcast with Nikki and Emma, Huw spoke openly about triggers and coping mechanisms. Things such as workplace stress and personal tragedies can act as a trigger that can lead to an episode. Something else which he also spoke quite openly about was that there can be times when he experiences an episode but because there wasn't anything happening in the build-up it can be difficult to understand what the triggers were. And he isn't the only one who suffered from the mental state either, Former Destiny's Child singer also had episodes during which she never even spoke about them. Back in 2021 during the Covid pandemic and lockdown, she gave an interview with American broadcaster, CBS News, about how she had suicidal thoughts because of the illness. However, what she did state, and this is something that many others have since said, "everything is not perfect, and that's okay". In other words, she knew that not openly discussing it was the elephant in the room and that it is something that you just need to talk about. Both openly and honestly without the fear of social stigma. Luckily for both of these amazing two, they both found an outlet that has actually worked quite well for them. Michelle released a book in which she spoke openly about her battles with depression and finding ways to deal with it. Huw also found a way, Boxing. Now I am not a huge fan of boxing, mainly because I'd get tired after five minutes also I'd complain about my fists aching but apparently there is some medical and psychological research to support these findings with exercise being used to help combat depression Well, first and foremost exercise helps trigger the release of endorphins into your brain and body. In addition that help improve your mood and raise your well-being, reduce your stress levels. And also help you to maintain a more positive state of mind. Something else it can do is support your ability to focus on something more positive. Let me give you some examples; in a few of the places I have worked at I have known colleagues who have lived with depression. One of them had to take time off work, the other openly revealed that they were on medication. Now the question I occasionally found myself asking was how often has someone ever spoken to them about it, was any kind of help ever offered? Up until a few years ago depression itself was treated very much in the taboo sense in that. It was seen as something that was pretty much ignored. Talking about it was seen in an almost similar way. And the attitude towards it was, in a nutshell, man up shut up, and put up with up. Yep, pretty much something I found altogether to be completely unhelpful, and mainly because it was. Why something was treated with such disregard? And why were those who even attempted to voice their concerns simply not heard? A couple of years ago the BBC did a series of special documentary programs called Gay Britainnia. Years and Years frontman Olly Alexander spoke about his experiences of living with depression. And which came about from growing up gay. In his episode, Growing up Gay he spoke openly. But not without a bit of difficulty, of dealing with mental health issues. And which were the result of peer treatment in regards to his sexuality. As an individual, he was in a situation where he couldn't turn to anyone. He also felt alienated from a lot of individuals as a result. Not a great way to reflect on various times of your childhood years. So a question that remains is why aren't we talking about our depression a lot more? Not all people see feeling ashamed negatively. When things getting worse, people will only be shamed into thinking that they are awful. Come on everyone, let's truly start dealing with this. Let's stop teaching ourselves this outdated shameful stigma, and let's start talking. One conversation can actually go a long way. https://www.verywellmind.com/6-ways-to-stop-feeling-embarrassed-about-your-depression-5095845 Read the full article

[animentality]

Star Trek fans complained about TNG when it came out, insisting it wouldn’t be good without the old characters. And granted, the first two seasons sucked, especially that atrocious pilot, but then it got better.

And then it became beloved.

But then DS9 comes along, and they say the same shit...

It won’t work. 

It’s too different.

They hated the pilot, said it was too dark, and emotional, and not “Star Trek.” 

Which is like. Stupid. Because you stupid bitches, you didn’t learn last time?? 

But I’m more offended at this slight because what the FUCK. 

Encounter at Farpoint is so fucking bad, just on its own.

But Emissary is literally fucking amazing? 

Avery Brooks’ performance is gut wrenching. His wife’s death is heart breaking and harkens back to one of the darkest and most iconic episodes of TNG. Their relationship is told through flashback and through Sisko’s connection to these strange aliens that experience time non-linearly. 

That’s literally combining this amazing sci fi concept, of aliens that experience time very differently than us, with this very humanistic approach. 

Exploring what it means to be human, in the context of how a non human would view us.

This is quintessential science fiction, literally at its roots. It’s a soap opera in space, sure, but it is what makes science fiction great. 

Sisko’s pain is laid bare. He’s forced to confront his own personal failings and weaknesses, as well as what human grief is, how pain and loss and suffering work. All to a non human species, who take the form of his friends, family, and enemies. 

In this really interesting way of talking. In this fascinating way of filming, gritty but bright, contrasting this dark world of his emotions, vs. the colorful memories, the good ones. 

And honestly, I just don’t get why the pilot wasn’t received well. 

It literally would’ve sold me if I wasn’t a fan of Star Trek. It actually did. 

It was my first Star Trek ever. 

If I’d started with fucking TNG, I would’ve literally turned it off halfway through Encounter at Farpoint.

Which is why it’s so baffling to me that Emissary got more flak from TNG fans who didn’t see the irony of ragging on a “bad” pilot. 

But anyway, back to Emmissary...

Sisko literally learns to embrace his own pain and accept it. He faces something he couldn’t face before, because as he’s explaining the human condition to these non humans, he realizes things about himself. About life and death and choices and pain and healing. 

He can let the darkness go, and move forward. He can forgive his mistakes, he can embrace his new life, his new career, the family that he still has. 

He can soothe his own pain.

And. 

What. The. Fuck. That’s just fucking cinema. 

That is a story that could just be a story on its own. It could’ve just been a damn movie. 

A man who’s lost everything explains to aliens who don’t understand loss, what it means to experience the past, present, and future. 

And people thought it was too dark?

They complained it was too emotional for Star Trek?? 

Some horse shit. 

Avery Brooks out acted most of the TNG cast in their entire TNG run in just his first episode, but DS9 got the dark horse treatment, when it started off so much stronger than any other Star Trek. 

That’s so goddamn weird to me. 

[khaotungsfirst]

Top 10 BLs I watched in 2021

As the year comes to a close I’ve decided to take a look at all the BLs I watched in these past 12 months and determine my faves. Notice that it’s BLs I watched in 2021, not BLs released in 2021.

1. Manner of Death (Thailand, 2020)

Even though the majority of this aired in 2020, it wasn’t finished until January 2021 so it counts as a 2021 watch for me. God the theories we discussed after every episode, we all must’ve looked absolutely insane. Peak clown behaviour... Anyways, this is the direction I hope more BLs take in the future. Not necessarily crime/thriller (though that IS one of my favourites and I would not complain about more of that) but what I want to see is BL delving into a variety of genres. You could see how a more serious and mature approach really elevated MaxTul and their acting to a new level and I wish to see more CPs explore that in the future.

2. We Best Love (Taiwan, 2021)

I distinctly remember the moment I scrolled through WeTV and saw this being announced and thought “Oh well, this looks like a small passion project, might check it out.” Well... it IS a passion project but it definitely isn’t small anymore. I recently rewatched this and to be quite honest, the story is not the most amazing thing you’ll ever watch (shoutout to S2EP2 though, that shit was mental). But the reason why I can’t let go of this one is the actors. Apart from loving the supporting actors (Tian and Evan specifically), SamYu simply has me in a chokehold point blank. No other CP compares to them. And even though I‘m scared of what kind of drama plot will be introduced in S3 I absolutely cannot wait for it simply because of all the SamYu content we will get from the promo. Like… @schnaf and I have a wishlist for result entertainment of things we need them to do - and those moving cat ears that read your brain waves are on the very top of it.

3. Bad Buddy (Thailand, 2021)

Ok, I know this hasn’t finished airing yet but I think we can all agree that this deserves to be on here. I heavily doubt they will fuck up the ending so we’ll let it slide. Bad Buddy really looked at all the things a Thai BL can do wrong and then said “Hold my engineering diploma, we’ll show you how it’s done.” Like... it still uses a lot of typical tropes, nothing about the story is particularly groundbreaking or anything we haven’t seen yet. And still, it works so so well. I think Ohm and Nanon’s phenomenal acting contributes a big part to this. But also P’Aof just knows what he’s doing. As much as I praised MoD for exploring a new genre, Bad Buddy proves that you can take all the tried and true things, like a uni setting and an enemies to lovers plot, and still stand out from the crowd. ALSO: Possible/very likely GL side couple instead of randomly pairing up all the best friends? We love to see it!

4. Word of Honor (China, 2021)

After The Untamed we’ve all been waiting for the next big danmei. Is it as good as The Untamed? No. But nothing will ever be as good as The Untamed so that’s okay. I’ll admit I gave up on trying to understand the plot halfway through but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t thoroughly enjoy this drama. Everyone involved really did the best they could do to bring this novel to life by toeing the line of censorship. And with that ending? What more can you wish for honestly, considering the circumstances. WoH, at its core, is a story about bad people and I do love me some villains! Starting from WKX and continuing with so many beloved side characters, a lot of which were badass women, I can’t help but love this show.

5. I Promised You the Moon (Thailand, 2021)

Okay, I’m not a big fan of second seasons when it comes to BL because more often than not we’ll be treated to a cheating plot and IPYTM is not an exception to this. However, ITSAY was already revolutionary in how it broke the mold of what highschool/uni BLs were supposed to look and be like. And this continues in IPYTM. The whole thing just feel so much more raw. A lot of Thai BLs are goofy and ridiculous and that’s okay, those are fun as well. But ITSAY and IPYTM feel more like reality. You can feel how BK and PP really put their all into this project and I hope this shows producers that there are many different ways to tackle BLs.

6. Don‘t Say No (Thailand, 2021)

For the same reason I tend to avoid second seasons I also tend to avoid established relationship plots. Until I watched Don’t Say No. It’s laughable how bad the trailer is compared to the actual show. In fact, it almost stopped me from watching this. Well, thank god I still did! I think LeoFiat are the couple with the best communication skills out of all the BLs I’ve watched so far. They have a very specific relationship dynamic that could definitely be interpreted as dom/sub but - and this is the thing - it’s healthy! Which is why I can’t believe the people who made Tharntype also made DSN. To me, it feels like the complete opposite. As for JaFirst: I hope they’ll get another series because they do have a lot of chemistry.

7. Couple of Mirrors (China, 2021)

Listen, I know I said BL but CoM deserves a spot on this list, period. I went into this knowing nothing and was positively surprised by the mature subject matter. Who doesn’t love a bit of murder, crime and intrigue? On top of that, our two mains were just way too cute! And just like with WoH, considering the censorship this drama went through we still got a lot of things that definitely hinted at more than just friendship. I also really loved the historical setting in the Republican Era and really want to see more of that. Thank god we’ll get season 2, right?

8. Be Loved In House: I Do (Taiwan, 2021)

Is the premise of this enemies to lovers plot ridiculous? Yes, but who even cares. What can I say? I’m a sucker for omg they were roommates! This was like a fun little snack: it didn’t feel too serious and god, did it have some ridiculous scenes. But sometimes, that’s all you need. Obviously, this wasn’t something that will stick with you forever, but that’s okay. The mains did a very solid job and we even got a bit of steamy action towards the end, so all in all I would definitely recommend this.

9. Together With Me (Thailand, 2017)

This is on the list simply for S1EP1 scene 1 alone. Like HELLO? I watched this after MoD so I already knew how MaxTul act with each other but still… insanity. Unfortunately, the trope of the jealous (ex-) girlfriend is heavy with this one but it also gave us one of THE BEST female side characters in all of BL: Queen Yiwha! We love, we stan, we ship her with Fai (yes, we’ll ignore Bad Romance for our sanity’s sake). Major point deduction for the creepy doctor though...

10. Why R U? (Thailand, 2020)

Half of this was great (Fightor) and half of this was boring (SaifahZon). Which is why I have to say I’m very glad Fightor ended up becoming the main couple at some point. Of course they had their ups and downs and some scenes were... questionable but in the end I did enjoy their story a lot. 

-

Honorable mentions:

EP 9 & 10 of Y-Destiny (2021)

Kaengputh my beloved! There really wasn’t enough time in just these two episodes to tell their story so it all just felt a bit rushed but First and Toru made up for it with their phenomenal performance. I really hope these two will get their own series soon because their on-screen chemistry is INSANE.

Until We Meet Again (2019)

Okay, I’ll admit I skipped through most of this. It’s in honorable mentions because of WinTeam. No regrets.

My Engineer (2020)

Congrats for being the worst BL I’ve ever watched yet somehow still making me obsessed for like two weeks straight. This is the complete opposite of Bad Buddy. It looked at all the previous Thai BLs and said “I can do worse!” If it weren’t for the side pairings I would’ve dropped it. Filled to the brim with every bad BL trope you can think of it really cranks up the cringe-o-meter but then again it was all so ridiculous and trashy that it was funny. (Also, I will forever stay mad about how Ryan got the absolute worst dub in existence and then got kicked off the show.)

Kpop ship compilations

Listen, Kpop and BL are inseparably linked in my head forever now. From actor/idol friendships to idols starring in BLs themselves to Kpop fanfiction being adapted into BLs - there is no way I could ever separate these two. So including this just makes sense to me. Top ships I enjoyed this year were: Chanlix, Minsung, Jilix, Changjin (all Stray Kids), Woosan (Ateez), every possible BTS ship you can imagine but particularly Jikook, Sope, Hopekook and Yoonmin, and most recently Yeonbin (TXT).

[anxious2dsimp]

General Dating Headcanons | Sero, Todoroki & Bakugou

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Pairings: Sero x Reader, Todoroki x Reader, Bakugou x Reader

Reader: Gender Neutral!

Format: Headcanons​

Warnings: Cursing bc Bakugou 🙄 (as if I wasn’t the one who picked him lmao)

Request: :))) hellooooo :D hmmmm may i get general dating headcanons for sero, todoroki, and [insert your favorite character]? 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 @smexy-goose

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Hi again!! Omg yes, I’ll gladly write some hcs for the best bois! I had a hard time picking a fave, but since I have written for Kami and Kiri in the last request I decided to go with blasty boy❤️ (Also, I’m trying a new way to post requests, I hope it works!)

Sero Hanta

I feel like Sero is genuinely so fun to date, just like he said in that one dorm episode, he’s always the wild card.

He’s a goofball, so he adores making you laugh and smile as much as he can. I love him omg😭

Will definitely take advantage of his height (he’s among the taller ones in the class) and give you surprise hugs from behind and rest his head on yours.

He’ll also use his quirk on you for everything from pranks to just randomly pulling you to him to give you a quick peck or a hug :’)

He’s pretty standard with PDA, so he won’t go around making out with you in public but he will do little gestures like those <3

In private I feel like he’s definitely cuddly, he’s just so happy to be with you!

He loves having you over at his room to just chill or be in each other’s presence, even if you’re doing stuff individually.

Speaking of, the bakusquad definitely complains about you having privilege in using the hammock in Hanta’s room. 

Denki will whine like; “why does y/n always get to use the hammock? You said it was out of bounds!”

“That’s on pretty privilege, sorry! And you’re just jealous you don’t have a cool s/o like mine,” Sero will say and poke his tongue out from the hammock where you’re swinging togehter :’) 

I’m warning you now, if you had a healthy sleep schedule before going out with him, you can kiss it goodbye.

Sero will absolutely be up till like 3 am sending you memes and tiktoks that remind him of you.

And with him blowing up your phone you’ll most likely end up talking into ungodly hours of the night, the *sleep deprivation* only causing funnier conversations.

Those will end up becoming inside jokes that he’ll bring up to make you laugh while the rest of the class is like ???

That also results in some weird ass nicknames sorry not sorry

So he’ll sometimes call you regular stuff like babe and other times... he’ll call you things like “Bert” (FOR NO REASON??) or “Candied Blood Pumping Organ” instead of sweetheart lmao

Overall you two are just THE chaotic couple (and if you’re not generally that way he will bring out that side of you)

Pranking your classmates? Pranking each other? Random ass adventures? Trying weird food together? Dancing in the kitchen at midnight while sharing late night snacks? By going out with him you said yes to all of the above.

From sneaking out of the dorms for late night food runs to occasionally skipping class to go to the arcade or the beach, you usually can’t go a week without doing something fun togehter.

This one time you two were out with the Bakusquad and y’all stopped by a supermarket to get food. 

So you had to ask Bakugou to buy you something bc you and Sero had to stay outside and just hand him the money.

He was like “tf?? why? Just buy your shit yourselves!” You had to explain you two were banned from the store because Hanta had accidentally crashed a cart he was driving you around in into a display of cereal boxes.

Ah yes, good times.

Todoroki Shoto

I feel like he’ll definitely need a small push when it comes to relationships bc of his past, but once you’re with him he’ll care deeply about you and will try to make you as happy as you make him :’)

I’m begging you, please give this boy some luv and affection!! For the most part you’d probably initiate PDA because he’s too nervous to do it himself

At the beginning he wouldn’t even be comfy cuddling, solely because he’d be afraid of hurting you somehow :(

But once you’ve reassured him he complies, and from then on out you just have to open your arms and he’ll instantly know it’s *cuddle time*

It’a one of his favorite pastimes bc he just feels so safe and loved <3 he also just loves the feeling of you playing with his hair

Luckily you get to do it year round since you cuddle his hot side in the winter and cold side during the summer

I feel like he’s secretly insecure, so the fact that you trust him and love him for who he is makes him feel like he could melt <3

Because of that you’re the only one he truly opens up to and shows his real feelings to, not to mention the only one who can touch his scar

And though he isn’t great with words, one look at him during one of these personal moments when its just you two, and you can just see it in his eyes.

Especially if you kiss his scar, his eyes might even get teary this sweet boy I 😭

That’s also probably why he shares his precious cold soba with you

Since you’ve been together, Shoto has just been so much happier, so his siblings and mother LOVE you.

They’re constantly inviting you over for dinner when Endevour is working (bc he’s a huge buzzkill to say the least), and his mom adores when you come with Shoto to visit her :)

Todoroki really enjoys seeing you get along with the people he cares the most about...

 BUT what he hates is THE EMBARRASING STORIES HIS FAMILY TELLS YOU OMG (you live for them, but I wouldn’t tell him that if I were you)

“Fuyumi remember when Shoto-” “Natsuo, no💙“ your bf will say as he unconsciously squeezes your hand, both of the siblings laughing at Shoto’s glare.

You had to hold in your laughter so hard omg

Though he isn’t that talkative, you guys definitely have that kind of relationship where you two could be silent and still feel completely comfortable (oh I’m so jealous of that but nvm)

He’s definitely observant, so expect the most considerate gifts and the most assertive observations, he’ll always know what you need.

The type of observant that gives you a water bottle before you even notice you’re thristy during training, or switches sides while walking so you loop your arm with his on his warm side when you’re cold.

Also the type to gift you that one thing you really wanted but mentioned once like months ago along with your favorite snacks/drink (you best believe he has them all memorized bc he’s just that attentive)

Over all, just a really soothing relationship were you can be comfortable with each other and feel at home when you’re together.

Bakugou Katsuki

Ok so, I feel like you’d be a competitive couple, turning anything into a competition in an endearingly annoying way.

You’re definitely the type of couple to go to laser tag, an escape room, an arcade, etc, as dates >:) but the competitions don’t end there:

Who can plan the best date? Who can make the other blush first? Who can get the other the better gift? Who’s the better kisser? Who gets the higher score in class? Or wins at sparring?

Especially when it comes to productive stuff like training or academics, although he won’t admit it, he’s just pushing you to be your best because he knows how amazing you are :’)

All the bakusquad knows about your shenanigans and at this point they’ve learnt to stay out of it & go get the Advil just in case bless their souls lmao

I’m sorry but he definitely calls you nicknames that purposely piss you off (with no ill intentions ofc), like “gremlin”, “dumbass” or “booger”

I suggest you also call him stuff like that back, like “angry pom” or “blasty” to get on his nerves >:)

You guys also definitely friendly bicker all the time, knowing that you take it lightly (though strangers won’t, resulting in some hilariously awkward situations)

“You’re such a fucking idiot,” he’ll say rolling his eyes as he messes up your hair.

Just watch his smirk dissapears when you reply, “no, u❤️″ It gets on his nerves, I just know it.

So he’ll chase you around as you call each other random stuff. While the other people at the convenience store are just like  👁👄👁

He never means it tho, keep in mind if you’re dating the self proclaimed future no. 1 hero he thinks highly of you :)

So he’d definitely be protective while simultaneously showing you off <3

Will always greet you with a kiss and keep his hand on your back or waist so ppl know you’re with him

RIP anyone who tries to hurt or flirt with you, I say try bc Bakugou will be exploding them even before they get the chance😅

Denki’s definitely almost gotten his brows blown off his face bc of that lol

Speaking of, the bakusquad still can’t get over the fact that THE lord explosion murder has a soft spot for you,

You mean you take care of his injuries, scold him when he burns himself out, touch his hair, and hug him when his moody... and you DON’T get cussed out and blown up? Shooketh

However they don’t see what happens behind closed doors, & how you’ve helped him with all the trauma he has experienced

You’re the only one who he is vulnerable with, you’ve seen him cry and he tells you about his nightmares and fears

You do the same with him, and you promise each other to get through anything together, which you’ve done so far :’)

Bc of that his parents love you, and his mom’s always going on about how she’s so glad you “stand” his son😂

Why can’t he be real ughhh

[deadly-queen-uwu]

Horror on TV and its Gay Representation.

This is simply a quick little thing about two Horror tv series I want to talk about!

As you can see from their respective promotional posters, I’m here to talk on the continuation of the Chucky franchise in TV format. 

And the TV remake/adaption of I know What You Did last Summer. 

Why these two? Because I haven’t gotten around to watching Midnight Mass or Brand New Cherry Flavor yet! Now before I say anything else, let me give a huuuuuge spoiler warning for at least the first 3 episodes of Chucky and the first 6 of IKWYDLS, you’ve been warned! 

Now besides being the only Horror TV I’m currently sinking my teeth into, these shows have one other thing in common. And that is actual gay characters and gay story lines. Of course, as a Horror fan that isn’t always the main reason I check in every week to see what happens, but it is a reason for me personally. I’m a gay guy who enjoys seeing gay rep in horror- in any fashion so long as it’s not some outdated stereotype(Sorry, looking at you ‘Freaky’ movie). To be fair to Freaky though, gays like the character of Josh obviously do exist and I am in no way trying to bury their representation- But they could have written him way better and you know it.

Anyway, back to the actual media of discussion. Queer characters! Hooray, that’s amazing, right? Well...In I know what you did last summer’s case- If you’re a wlm enjoyer, then yes- sort of! However, if you’re like me; mlm enjoyer...I got some bad news for ya. Because in the first episode we are introduced to the charming, thoughtful character of Johnny. And boy was I excited to see what they’d do with him. He wasn’t some overly dramatic gay man stereotype(although he does fall into the ‘Gay best friend’ category), he was just a guy who happened to be gay! Great, right? 

Come episode 2 and we are whisked back into the present. The main group of characters have all moved on after the events of the flashback in episode 1. Lennon(Allison) is living just as Lennon would be(if you know, you know), Dylan has completely left his old group of friends behind, seemingly not wanting anything to do with the others, Margot is shown to have gotten past dark times, but is ultimately shown to be doing well with the influencer lifestyle, Riley? Well we actually don’t get much from the lovable cynic, but she’s strong willed as ever I suppose. And that leaves us with Johnny, you know our main queer guy of the group? You wanna guess what he’s been up to? Go on, I’ll give you a second.

He got engaged to their school’s gym teacher at just 18! Now I’m not shaming anyone for getting engaged early. If the love is right, the love is right. But come on, really? The one gay guy hooks up with a gym teacher senior year and now they’re engaged? Yikes- but hey, he’s still the same charmster from episode 1, so it’s all good. Great, can’t wait to see where that story line goes! 

Apparently nowhere cause Johnny is killed off the very same episode we learn all of this- Along with his significant other, the gym teacher! 

Now before you jump the gun, I’m not complaining about the kills themselves. After all, I am a horror fan, I love me some beautiful looking murders! James A. Janice would be very proud, I’m sure! 

However, as a gay man, this just didn’t sit right with me. After years and years of our community being the killer or killed in Horror, you really had to go ahead and shaft the two gay guys of the cast? And let me say this now, I wasn’t expecting Johnny to live till the end or anything, I mean he’s a gay guy in a horror show, of course he was going to get killed off. But second episode in?? Come on, do better. It felt like the producer or script writers or whoever said “Hey, we got gay guys, here they are, anyway forget about them, here’s a -sort of- wlm relationship tee hee’. And the wlm ship isn’t bad. I support all my Lesbians out there and their own needs to be seen on the Scream Screen! I’d enjoy them a lot more if the two characters weren’t downright insufferable at times. But hey, it is a Young Adult tv series, so I guess character writing wouldn’t be the greatest...Anyway, so yeah, Johnny, sucks man, but eh what can you do, am I right? Killed off way too soon, but you’re a gay man, so you get the axe...Or in this case, shovel. Sorry...

But Queen, what about Chucky’s gay rep? Well let me just start off with, us gay guys fair a little better over in Hackensack...Sort of. 

You see our (sort of) titular character, Jake Wheeler is apparently gay. A young gay teen to be exact, so you can expect all the cliche tropes a gay teen must face in television or movies. And as Chucky is currently still airing weekly with only 3 episodes in(as of writing this post), I can’t comment much on if Jake Wheeler will actually survive. He’s the main character besides Chucky, so you’d expect him to, right? But we live in an age of TV and Cinema where it is just so, so cool to kill off your main lead, so who knows, we’ll have to wait and see. I personally can’t see Jake being killed off, but with the Horror genre, we love subverting expectations! 

Jake so far has gotten no love in terms of relationships, although he does seem to have a crush on the podcast-detective, Devon Evans, huh, Podcast-Detective? New career for you internet sleuths out there? Heh. But yeah, I see the show ending with these two living happily ever after and gay and alive and gay. Or so I hope. 

But besides Jake Wheeler, his cousin Junior Wheeler also intrigues me. So far it looks to be he’s in a relationship with downright nasty Lexy. I call her nasty because she is literally one of the most annoying bully characters I’ve ever had the displeasure of seeing on my TV screen. But the queer guy in me who loves to read into subtext can’t resist but see Junior as something more than her little lapdog...Possible closet reveal? We’ll have to wait and see as the series continues to pump out episodes, which so far have been free to watch on Youtube, so long as you live in America that is, or I guess if you have access to a VPN 😏 

Do I have any opinion on which TV show you should devote your queer, queer time to? Nah, not really. Watch what you wanna watch. Both shows aren’t perfect, the performances of the actors ain’t perfect and you’ll most likely find something about either show to rant about (just like I did with Johnny). But that’s the Horror genre for ya. Your fav won’t always make it to end. But you sure as hell hope they do!

Sorry if this felt bloated, it really was. I’m no professional blogger or anything, i just feel passionate about queer horror!

[tsrookie]

Always In My Heart

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Alyssa Brooks)

A/N: On today’s episode of ‘I have no idea wtf I’m doing’, we have something that I cooked up because I had terrible WiFi and no other app but Google docs would open up.

Trope: Fluff, but a tiny bit of angst?

Rating: General

Word Count: 2.3K

Warning(s): Mentions of character death

Summary: Their son has a very important question to ask.

——————————

The delicious aroma of chicken and rice wafted through the Brooks-Ramsey household. The couple worked side by side in the kitchen as they had all those years ago, the only difference being that it was now a dinner for five and not just two.

Allison Dolores Brooks-Ramsey came into their lives nine years ago, and while it was earlier than they would have wanted, they didn’t regret a second of their lives ever since they first heard her voice.

The twins on the other hand, were planned, but nothing had prepared them for the chaos that Nathan and Natalie would bring. A new broken object every week, a dozen fights for the TV every day, and yet were nothing short of tiny tornadoes when they joined forces.

It couldn’t be more perfect.

“What time did Jackie and Emilia say that they would bring the girls back?”

“6:30, I think.”

“Ah. So we have time till 7:00.” They shared a knowing smile. Two aunts taking their nine and six year old nieces to the mall meant a complete raid of the toy store, and a new guitar.

“You need to stop letting everyone spoil the girls just because you have a soft spot for them, Ethan. Ally’s grown old enough to understand that she has her daddy wrapped around her finger, and we don’t need Nat coming to that realisation as well.”

“I don’t- I can’t believe you would accuse me of not loving all my children equally!”, he exclaimed in mock offense.

“Mhmm. So why did I have to come up with an explanation to tell Nathan why his dad wasn’t on board with ordering dessert when he asked for it, but relented once his sisters kept bugging him for another five minutes?”

He opened his mouth in protest, but decided against saying anything for his own good. “Well what can I say? They’ve inherited their mother’s persuasiveness. And I can’t really say no to you, can I?”

Alyssa’s lips curved upwards at that. The playful look in her husband’s eyes caused her to finally break into a grin. “At least you’re self-aware.” Stuffing the rice into the bird she added, “But I can’t exactly tell our son that his dad is too in-love with his mom that he sees her in his daughters and hence can’t say no to them. He’d gag in disgust.”

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her, resting his head in the crook of her neck. “That he would. Alright I’ll try a little harder to resist their charms. Wouldn’t want my only son to end up hating me.” He said it without a hint of worry over it becoming true someday. Over the years, he’d learned to put aside his fears of not being a good father, and with the help of some therapy, and Alyssa’s unwavering love and support, he’d locked up his insecurities in a box and let it sink to the bottom of the ocean.

They took the stuffed chicken and put it in the oven, washed their hands and plopped down on the couch for some rare downtime.

“Crap.”

“Everything okay?”

“Fred’s mom got called in, so she’s dropping Nate off on her way to work.”

Ethan sighed. “There goes the hour I planned to spend with my wife, who I barely get to spend enough time with these days.”

“I swear, you were never this busy when you were chief. I have no idea why my workload’s ten times bigger.”

“I do.” Ethan smiled with pride. “One usually does have a lot of work when they’re at the front lines of the battle for making free healthcare accessible for every single person in the country. My brilliant wife, though she could choose to leave most of the work to her very competent team, opts to take it all upon herself. So that’s probably the cause behind all the extra workload she complains about.”

She smirked and perched herself onto his lap. “Well your very brilliant wife also knows that you called my team very competent just to avoid hurting my feelings, and that you and I both know that they’ll be running around like headless chickens without me taking care of things.”

“I know, love. But you can still make them do a little more instead of working yourself to the bone while still making sure that you have at least one meal with the kids every day.”

She sighed. “Yeah, to make sure that they don’t forget what I look like.” She leaned in closer. “Besides, are we really going to spend our last few minutes of peace talking about work?”

Just as she uttered the words, the door burst open, and Nathan kicked off his shoes and jumped onto the couch as Alyssa slid down from Ethan’s lap. She shot him a look that very clearly meant What did I just say?

Ethan gave her an apologetic look and ruffled his son’s hair. “Hey buddy. How was your day at Fred’s? I know you wanted to spend more time with him.”

“I did, and we were just about to open his new LEGO set when Mrs. Watson told us that she had to run up to her office for some emergency meeting.”, he pouted. “But it was a nice day. We watched Thor: Ragnarok and Luca, and we would’ve watched another movie if his dad didn’t tell us that two movies were enough for a day.”

Alyssa shot him a mildly stern look. “Well he was right. You’re too young to have movie marathons just yet. Two are more than enough, unless you want to have a headache.”

“But mom, I’m not too young! I’m a big boy! I can swing along the monkey bars at the park faster than Natalie, and soon I’ll swing across buildings just like Spider-Man!”

“Well Spider-Man got bitten by a yucky spider before he swung across buildings. Do you want to be bitten by a gross and poisonous spider?”

“Mommy, not all spiders are gross and poisonous. Dad told me that when I was four and got scared of them at the zoo.”

She rolled her eyes. Leave it to her husband to convince her kids that insects were anything short of creepy and disgusting. In reality, they were, but as someone who ran a mile away at the sight of a butterfly, she wasn’t going to accept that.

“That’s right, Nate. Some of them are certainly very poisonous and dangerous, but that doesn’t mean that you should be scared of them. If you maintain your distance and admire them from afar, there should be no problem at all.”, he said with a pointed look at Alyssa, who just huffed in annoyance.

Nathan giggled, his brown eyes lighting up with amusement. He loved watching his parents playfully bicker. It was way better than seeing them- ugh, kiss.

“We were pretending to be superheroes and Fred used his full name for his pretend name cause it sounded cool, and it is. Fredrick Anthony Watson sounds like something from that show you and mom watch with the guys in the stuffy suits.”

“When did you see us watching the show with the guys in the stuffy suits?”, asked Ethan with a slight hint of concern. Whatever he and Alyssa watched on their free nights was definitely not kid-friendly.

“I don’t remember. Maybe a few months ago.”

Their year old puppy, Ivy, woke up from her nap and bounced into the living room to jump onto her favourite person. Nathan squealed with joy as the fluffy hair of the dog tickled his nose.

Ethan and Alyssa smiled at each other. Getting another dog after Jenner was a decision that took a lot of convincing, but their kids were responsible enough and it was impossible to say no after two years of constant pestering.

“Fred told me that he was named after his great-grandfather William, and that he was this really cool guy who saved a bunch of guys from getting mugged in a dark, dark alley.” He turned to look at his parents as Ivy snuggled into his lap. “Who was I named after mom?”

The question caught her off guard, and she glanced at Ethan for backup.

When they knew that they were having a boy, they immediately knew what to name him. They hadn't, however, anticipated Nathan Daniel Brooks-Ramsey to ask such a question this soon.

Seeing his wife at a loss for words, Ethan spoke up. “C’mere Nate.” He pulled him closer and pressed a kiss atop his head. “We once had a friend named Daniel. He worked at the hospital as a nurse, and he was close to your mom and Aunt Sienna when they were interns.”

Having found her voice, Alyssa joined in. “He was an amazing friend. He was the only nurse in the hospital who helped me out when things got messy, and cheered up Aunt Sienna when no one else could. He’d join us for picnics and movie nights, and you could always count on him if you needed something at the hospital.” She took a deep breath, and Ethan nodded. “Things were going well, but then in my second year, something really bad happened.”

“Oh no.”

“There was this bad guy, who wanted his revenge on another bad guy, and he was ready to risk his own life, and the lives of everyone around him to do so.”

“That’s horrible! Who would want to do something like that?”

Ethan smiled wistfully. “A lot of people in this world actually do. You’re a good person, so you know that it’s wrong. But some people aren’t, and they don’t care about other people getting hurt because of their actions. That night at the hospital, Danny tried to tell the bad guy that it was wrong, and to think things through. But he didn’t listen, and did something that hurt both himself, Danny, Uncle Raf, another friend of ours, and your mom.”

His little eyebrows creased with worry, Nathan asked, “What happened then?”

“He… he died. Along with our other friend, Bobby. Do you remember what we once told you about an autopsy?” Nathan nodded his head. “Well Danny asked for his body to be autopsied, and thanks to him, we were able to find out what was wrong with mom and Uncle Raf.”

He fell silent for a moment, remembering the horrors of the day, and how eternally grateful he was to Danny for being the reason he didn’t lose everything. He couldn’t imagine a life without the love of his life and his children, and he wouldn’t have either if not for the sacrifices that were made.

He looked up at Alyssa, and she squeezed his hand in support. “We’ll tell you more when you’re older, but to make it short, you’re named after a hero too. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have you, your sisters, or mom here with me.”

Nathan wriggled out of his dad’s arms, and set Ivy down so he could hug his mom as tightly as he could.

“Well… if you can hear me Mr. Daniel, I just wanna thank you. Thanks for saving my mom. I love her so much and I’m so thankful that I got to meet her because of what you did. I wish I could’ve met you, you sound like a really cool person, and I’m sure you were. So yeah, thanks. A lot.”

Alyssa’s eyes glimmered with unshed tears, and she held her son as she expressed her silent thanks along with Ethan.

What they had was precious.

Fifteen years had passed since they first met, and yet each day they fell in love a little more like they did when they held hands for the first time in the dim light of the NICU watching over little Ethan, or when she finally got to see the real him the first time she visited his place; the first time in years he let someone know a little of the worries residing deep in his heart.

With all the odds against them, it was a miracle that they survived, even more so that they managed to raise three perfect children who had more love to share than they could ever comprehend.

And they’d never forget all the reasons that made it possible for them to survive.

Ding!

The timer on the oven went off, and they got to their feet to get the chicken.

“Was he a good cook dad?”

“I… don’t really know, Nate. Your mom knew him better than I did.”

“Well there was this one time where he helped Aunt Sienna bake an amazing cake, so I guess he knew his way around the kitchen.”, Alyssa recollected fondly. It was for Jackie’s birthday, one of the few nights where the competition was completely forgotten about.

Nathan’s face melted into a glowing smile. “I love cake. So I guess I really would’ve loved him.”

She mirrored his radiant expression. “You definitely would’ve.”

“Why don’t you go play with Ivy while mom and I get the food ready? You can help us with the dessert later.”

“We’re having dessert?!”

Ethan grinned at his son’s excitement. “You bet we are.”

“Yay!” They watched as Nathan ran off to go play fetch with Ivy in their enormous backyard.

Ethan pulled Alyssa in for a sweet, lingering kiss as soon as he was out of sight.

“You’ve been wanting to do that for a while now hmm?”

“Something like that.”, he murmured as they broke apart.

She could see the ever-increasing strands of silver in his brown hair, and the faint wrinkles along the sides of his forehead, but his clear blue eyes were just as loving and devoted as she remembered from over a decade ago.

“We have a pretty good life, don’t we?”

Ethan kissed her again. “No, we have the perfect life.”

——————————

A/N 2: Aaaand I’m going MIA again. Honestly though, to everyone who’s read so far, thank you so much for sticking around. Means the world💙

P.S: I finally chose Chyler Leigh as my face claim!

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