#because this season and last have showed us symptoms

[gayofthefae]

Was thinking about ways to start to subtly hint to the GA that Mike likes Will because they can’t just jump straight to like Vecna callout, even as a queer Mike truther I think that feels forced, and then I just thought...

Do what they always do. End a scene with a look like 4x04. Just...this time...don’t interrupt. Let the look linger. in silence. Have Will be the first to look away. Then either Mike looks down and like “oh” and maybe a little insecure (yk that look that kind of implies that something did just happen) or just have him not look away.

I feel like that’s a start for sure. And it makes the most sense from the starting point we’re at too because like. There are not actions there that could be argued out of character. I mean, people who want to can deny but active deniers aren’t GA - GA are the people not committed to an interpretation so they aren’t pushing back. It wouldn’t seem out of character or sudden at all because it’s just...a continuation of what his behavior was already like. The camera’s just focusing on it a little more now. It demonstrates a hypothetical. A lingering glance is universal TV language. We know what it means. And an interrupted one like they’ve had is still a little deniable in nature, but a look-away? A shy, coy reaction? As if something just happened between them? Something unspoken just from intimate eye contact? That gets the ball rolling. Even if slowly. It can pick up speed from there. It’s gaining momentum.

[bri-does-art]

i know this probably won’t do much, let alone anything at all, but i’m sorry for the stress this site has caused you and so many other creators here. i’m not asking for you to stick around on here, but i hope you know just how meaningful you and your art have been on here. you’re amazing. /pos

Hey, this ask has done a lot more than you would think. Thank you, you are very sweet. <3

I've kind of made up my mind about what I'm gonna do for a while now, but I've simply been... too busy and overwhelmed to take the time to let you guys know. I'm not going to delete my tumblr, there's just. Too much here that I don't want to lose.

So far the game plan is: keep my tumblr. But do not upload anymore art or writing on it - not because it's gonna get scraped, because it was already getting scraped anyway, AI company deal or not. It's pretty much unavoidable at this point, unfortunately. I simply do not trust Tumblr with my data, if they're going to sell EVERYTHING, including private messages and such, so I'm not going to give it anything worthwhile to profit off of. Instead, I'm going to start uploading my art exclusively on Ao3, for now. I'll answer any asks I receive here on there too, as well. I'll figure some kind of system out. 🤔

The cool thing about uploading to Ao3 is that anyone subscribed to my profile or to the containment series I will make will get a notification anytime I upload something new. Having my art and writing in one place is likely going to be more convenient for you guys too, since you won't have to move across platforms to get the full experience. 😄It'll be different... but a platform getting too greedy for its own good won't stop me from finding ways to share my stories with y'all. I'll just find another solution.

(I've also been entertaining the idea of joining or making my own Discord server but. That one is a little more delicate. The idea of joining a server that has hundreds of members like a lot of this fandom's servers have, just. Makes me break into hives, lmao. (I am in the Ghost in the Machine fic server. I muted it an hour into joining, it was way too intense for me. |'D) That is way too many people, I simply cannot handle it. I'd be way more comfortable in a smaller group with a less rapid-fire rate of posting and conversation. I am also. Very picky about which servers I join, which makes asking for recommendations doubly awkward when I shoot them all down, haha... And making my own... Err, I can hardly keep up with a server I helped create for another fandom and mod for, I don't think I could handle two of them - I would need other people to handle the moderation for me, and I wouldn't trust just anyone to be a mod. I'd need to know them well enough to know I could trust them, and I... do not really know anyone in this fandom well enough to do that, sadly. I take server moderation very seriously, as someone who has had experience modding for forums back before social media was a thing. I do not know if that would make for a fun experience for everyone, and anyone who hasn't known that kind of supervised experience. It is comforting to me. It may be intimidating for others. So that's still a very hand-wavy, 'eehhhh' kind of thing still.)

All of this to say, that this isn't the last you'll see from me, far from it. I'll restrict my creative output to Ao3 for the foreseeable future, and I'll let you guys on here know when I make a new upload, so those of you who do not have an Ao3 account know when something new has happened.

So there you have it. 😊

[marlenesluv]

Sick Day. (CL)

summary: you woke up not feeling good, having to cancel on your date with charles, but he has an idea.

warnings: none! this is pure fluff.

note: lowercase intended!

masterlist here -> masterlist link

^ check my list for all my other works! ^

waking up sick was one of the worst things to happen. the scratchy throat, runny nose, and coughing up a lung. another horrible thing? having to cancel on your boyfriend on a day he took off to spend with you.

you grabbed your phone at six thirty in the morning, way too early to be up, but your cough had woken you. quickly, you texted charles, wanting to let him know that your day was officially off. you didn’t want to get him sick, but you also don’t think you had it in you to get dressed.

after sending your messages, you grabbed a cup and filled it with cold tap water, taking some advil and an allergy pill for your runny nose.

you then grabbed a mug and made some peppermint tea, which always helped to alleviate some of the obnoxious symptoms.

putting on gilmore girls, you nestled under your fuzzy blanket and watched as rory talked to logan. just then, your phone went off a few times

you grumbled, wishing your boyfriend wasn’t so stubborn. the last thing you wanted was to get him sick and cost him a race.

sniffling, you tapped on your screen, replying to him in hopes he hadn’t left yet.

it was futile. you accepted it as you continued to watch your show, sipping on your tea as you continued to cough and sniff. the allergy pill hadn’t kicked in yet, advil the same, a headache forming.

ten minutes later, you heard your door unlock. knowing it was charles, you shimmed further underneath your blanket, hoping he would stay outside of you blanket and away from your germs.

“ma chérie? i know you’re in the living room. i hear your show on.” charles shouted, taking his shoes off by the door and walking into the living room, finding gilmore girls playing and a blanket over his girlfriend.

“baby, what are you doing under there?” as he finished his sentence, he lifted a corner of the blanket up, causing you to stuff your head into the pillow and yank the blanket back down.

“you can’t just hide under there…” he trailed off, because he knew you could.

he walked to the kitchen with his bag in one hand, taking the soup out and grabbing your favorite hoodie, freshly sprayed with his cologne, and he had been wearing it yesterday.

“chérie? i put my hoodie on the coffee table if you want it, i’m going to warm up some soup for us.” you groaned in reply, waiting for his step to retreat as you poked your head out and slipped the hoodie on, breathing in his cologne, already feeling a little better.

however, that didn’t last long as charles snuck behind the couch and jumped over the back, hugging you like a mad man.

“charles! no! get off of me! i’m going to get you sick. go away!” you yelped, trying to escape his strong arms. curse him and his extensive workouts.

“absolutely not. i miss you and we will spend the day together if it’s the last thing i do.” he tightened his arms before pressing a kiss to your forehead before he got up and grabbed the soup.

you pulled the blanket over your arms as you watched him walk around your kitchen like it was his own. the fact that he had been here a thousand times and you still got butterflies was insane. you loved him beyond words, the little things, even after three years, made you fall even more.

little things like: bringing you coffee in the morning, spending the night watching movies, and now, warming you some soup because you’re sick.

“here. chicken noodle and toast. what episode are you on?” charles asked, pulling some of the blanket on his lap as he started to eat his soup.

“logan and rory and arguing. she made an article making fun of privileged people-“ he cut you off before you could finish.

“-even though she is privileged? she’s annoying this season.” you giggled, smiling at the tv and laying your head on charles’ shoulder.

before you started dating, he had never seen a second of the show. now? he’s seen gilmore girls over 5 times, the first watch with you, the second was so he could understand it better, and the rest have been with you.

so, yeah, charles knew almost every scene, but so did you. you didn’t need words when you were next to him. fever and all, the only thing on your mind was the beautiful boy next to you.

“i love you, chérie.” charles said as he kissed your head, making you blush.

“i love you too, beau.”

_______________________________________________

ma chérie - my darling

chérie - darling

beau - handsome

(all french)

_______________________________________________

(reposts, comments, and likes are appreciated!^-^)

[b0r3dtod3ath]

"Cause I <3 you, you’re the one that I adore :)"

Formula 1 masterlist

Word count: 1.4k

Summary: Assistant!reader x rdr!seb. Based on this request. Set during the 2012 season.

A/N: I know a few people wanted me to write this trope so here it is :) Also this fic is loosely inspired by BBM baby by Lana Del Rey.

“Yea, I still don’t understand why I need an assistant” Well this sentence certainly didn’t calm your anxiety as you were sitting on a chair, staring at the door. You were supposed to meet your boss, well not really a boss but a person you were supposed to help. He wasn’t just a random person, he was Sebastian Vettel, two-time world champion in Formula 1. You were a fan of this sport so when an opportunity for you to work in that field appeared, you took it without thinking twice. Maybe you weren’t one of the most important employees on the paddock nonetheless you still got to travel the world and be a part of every race week. “Sebastian, you were late for the last three meetings. I can’t be looking after you all the time.” a female voice said. You recognized it - it was Sebastian’s press officer. She was a lovely lady. You got to meet her because she was the one recruiting you. “So you are really getting me a babysitter?” huffed the driver. The door in front of you opened causing you to jump from your seat and put on a smile. “Hi! Nice to see you again! Come on in!” said the lady. As you walked in a tall, blonde boy sat up and introduced himself “Sebastian Vettel. You can call me Seb. Nice to meet you.” The eye contact made your cheeks heat up a little “Y/N Y/L/N, pleasure working with you”. As you sat down you heard Sebastian whisper a quiet “It sure is” under his nose.

You came up with the idea of a maximum of 10-minute long meetings after breakfast during the race weekend. They were meant for you to give Seb a quick overview for the day - what is he doing at what time. You were sitting at the hotel’s restaurant, waiting for him to show up, you didn’t expect him to show up on time but he barely managed to. “Hi, sorry. I hope you didn’t wait long” he said as he sat opposite to you. “Good morning, I’m fine, you are on time actually” you greeted him with a smile, chuckling at his messy bed hair. “So today you are supposed to first meet your physiotherapist and then” you were interrupted by sniffling. Probably a morning runny nose. You grabbed your small purse and handed a tissue to the man. “Thank you” he said, surprised that you noticed. “So then you have a first practice session at 1PM and..” - you quickly went over what was planned for the day “Alright, any questions? If you really want to move some meetings then let me know and I will try to figure out something. I’m leaving this paper for you to know what’s going on and I think that’s it.” you handed him a post-it note with everything neatly written. Cute writing he thought as he looked at it "There's also my number if you need something and I happen not to be around”. Oh yea, he was definitely gonna use this one. 

After a few races, you started developing a more casual relationship - it could even be called a friendship. The chemistry never left working hours. You didn’t understand why but it bothered you. Well, you noticed some signals - butterflies in your stomach appearing when you two held eye contact for more than a second, your heart skipping a beat when you accidentally touch or the heat rising to your cheeks every time he calls you by your nickname. You were a walking symptom of having a crush and yet you denied it. “I’m working for him, of course, we have to be nice to each other! He’s like that to every female reporter, a cheeky little bastard.” or “It’s his job to treat me nice.” you used to tell your friend on a phone, whispering as if Sebastian was to hear you. Little did you know, he has in fact changed his behavior towards women once you appeared in his life, he started being less flirty and reckless but not in terms of you. He would never tell you to do anything for him because it felt weird to him. At first, you were looking after him like he was a child - checking in if he was hungry or if he needed water. He never complained about being looked after because he found it comforting. He felt like you were truly caring for him, a feeling that he hadn’t felt in years due to his lifestyle. 

You would never call him unless he was late. Sebastian was in his hotel room, sprawled out on the bed, head with messy blonde hair buried in pillows. His peaceful sleep was interrupted by the sound of his ringtone. “Huh?” his eyes still closed “Seb, you were supposed to text me when you wake up so you won’t be late again. Please tell me you got up” your voice was a sound he wished to wake up for the rest of his life “Mrrh Dreaming? An angel called me?” he said half awake completely ignoring your tone “Great, amazing even. Vettel, wake up. I’m gonna come to your room in 10 minutes and please cooperate”. Even though you were the same age you sometimes felt like you were babysitting him. Sebastian obeyed you and got dressed. He liked to annoy you a bit but he would be cautious not to cause you too much trouble. You knocked on his door not expecting him to be ready. To your surprise, you were greeted by a fully dressed Sebastian holding his toothbrush. He gestured to you to come in. You have never been to his hotel room so it a bit personal. You stood in the middle of the room not knowing what to do. Your eyes wandered around the room which looked more neat than you expected - no clothes laying around and only his phone and a half-empty water bottle on his nightstand but the bed looked like a mess and you couldn’t judge him, after all he did wake up less than ten minutes before. The bathroom door was opened so you were able to observe him brushing his teeth. It was a thing he did everyday (even more than once!) yet it felt almost intimate. “Okay, let’s go” he said with a big smile once he finished and held the door for you. You were heading for a team meeting that you were also a part of. Your role there was to take notes that were handed to the driver later. Sebastian couldn’t take his eyes off you, sitting next to him as you wrote something important that he didn’t even hear. He loved to watch you in this state where you were so focused you barely paid attention to anything else. He loved the way you would tuck your hair behind your ear or play with a pen anytime there was something not worth writing down discussed. When the meeting was over you handed him the paper, he didn’t even look at it but the thing that caught his attention was your dress. It wasn’t revealing or stereotypically sexy - little flowers on a navy background, short sleeves and knee length just suited your personality in his mind. “Nice dress” he said, catching you off guard as you were saying your goodbyes. This weekend Sebastian finished P1 getting closer and closer to his next world champion title.

Next weekend was the last weekend before the summer break. Even though you had lost your hope in terms of your emotions towards Sebastian there was a little part of you that still wished that he would make some kind of a move. It was Saturday night, you had already showered and got yourself ready to bed. You heard a notification and looked at the screen of your phone. “I’m outside your door. Wanna talk to you. XOXO, Seb :)”. He himself didn’t know why he ended the text like that. He was just nervous and high on adrenaline. The message was followed by three gentle knocks on your door. You let Sebastian in and before you could say anything he grabbed your hands and said “I, I I think I love you. For the past few months you had been my sunshine. You make me happier. I adore everything about you, every single little detail. Please make me an even happier man and let me take you out for dinner. And wear that dress you wore last week."

[ariaste]

A Discussion on Book Endings

Hey, friends. Thanks for coming today. I'm sorry to break it to you, but this is an intervention. Please, don't get defensive -- everyone here loves you and cares about you. But listen... I'm gonna need book readers and reviewers to reflect on the idea that finishing a book and going "Oh, I loved it so much, but I wish it was just a few pages longer!" is not really a valid point of negative critique in the assessment of a text.

Let me explain.

When I read people's otherwise wildly positive reviews of books and they say that line, I don't interpret it in context as, "This story needed to be a few pages longer for the plot to work, structurally, and for the ending to achieve a solid resolution." Rather, they basically seem to be saying simply, "I loved it and I didn't want it to end." That's always a GREAT feeling, but then they're.... taking points off from their total rating because of that??? They seem to be penalizing the author because they weren't left with a feeling of "Ugh, thank god it's over"? It's like, "This would have been five stars if it had had just one more chapter but it made me sad that it ended, so four stars" -- Guys, do we understand that's an insane take? It's insane. A book has to end. If you shriek "NO!!!" that it's over because you were having such a great time, that's... that's a symptom of a 5-star book, babes. I'm not sure why there's such a fashion these days for penalizing authors for this particular thing in this particular way, but it's really baffling to me.

But setting aside the puzzling trend of "I'm knocking points off because it ended when it should have gone on until I personally was fully bored and exhausted of it, like the 11th season of a TV show that was only supposed to go until season 4" -- listen, I guarantee you that nine times out of ten, when you're out here longing for just one more chapter or saying "this could have used an epilogue" you... are wishing for something that would have actively ruined your enjoyment and the quality of the book.

Are you a writer yourself? Have you ever finished writing a book before? Have you done it more than once? Have you deeply studied the endings of books? They are HARD, let me tell you what. Endings are so much harder than beginnings, because you're looking for that beautiful final note, like the ending of a symphony, and you're trying to ride it for a few glorious seconds before the FLOURISH and dum-dummmmmm....! and the conductor collapses as the audience bursts into applause! Right? Yes? Except that chances are that one more chapter or epilogue would ruin the pacing and resolution of the ending and muddle up the summary of the theme and thesis statement, and all of this WOULD ACTUALLY fuck up your experience of the story as a whole. For example, please consider the last Harry Potter book as an example. We all hate JKR now for being a TERF but oh, children, how quickly we forget that back in the olden times, we used to hate her for that fucking epilogue that made everything that came before feel rancid and pointless and hollow and cheap. Y'all remember how sickening and infuriating that was? Do you remember the Hunger Games epilogue? Nine times out of ten, that's what you're inexplicably wishing for.

To see this point illustrated, let's do a quick exercise together. Go pick out a piece of classical music -- some of my best suggestions for this are Beethoven's Ode to Joy, or "Der Holle Rache" from Mozart's Magic Flute, or Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture. Listen to it all the way through. If you're struggling with scrolling addiction and your attention span has been severely damaged, fine, listen to the last two minutes ("Der Holle Rache" is the shortest, just 3 minutes). Then, after the song is done, click back to some random spot earlier in the piece, listen to another 30 seconds, and then stop. Consider: Did adding that last 30 seconds materially improve the piece, or did it undermine the overall emotional journey? Did it help the ending to stick the landing even more than it already did, or does it just feel weirdly stuck-on as an afterthought, like the "for more fun videos, check out the rest of our channel and don't forget to subscribe!!!" card at the end of youtube videos?

When you are wishing for an epilogue, my doves, you are wishing for something you do not actually want -- or which you probably would not want if you had the option to see it in practice and compare it side by side with the original. You are wishing for something that would more than likely make the story worse. You are holding the author at fault for something being wrong with the text only because you hit immersion and were having a lot of fun and didn't want to come back up for air. Like, I'm just not sure that's something that the author should be blamed for? It sounds like they were doing their job really well???

Please, just. Separate your feelings of "bittersweet disappointment that this wonderful book is over" from "frustration that the author didn't stick the landing, ugh what a flop" because they are two separate things. Before you say "I'm taking points off because I wish there was more", please take two seconds to ask yourself critical thinking questions like, "Why did the author choose to end the book here rather than in two more chapters?" because (other than a few wild outliers that should not be counted) the answer is never, "They got bored and just didn't feel like finishing the story." Chances are, they chose that specific ending for a reason. They ended it there because that's the point that underlines the thesis statement of the book, or because the emotions of that scene are the ones they want you to remember and walk away with, or because that marks the place where the story arc is genuinely over. When the author says, "And they all lived happily ever after," that means that what happily-ever-after looks like is in your hands now.

Nine times out of ten, you don't want one more chapter. Please. I promise you that you don't want one more chapter. The book is done; what you want now is either fanfiction or someone to talk about it with. Or maybe to start the book over from the beginning! Believe me, you would not want one more chapter if you had it. (Or, if you did have it and it magically didn't suck, you would just keep wanting more chapters because that's what "really enjoying the book" means. In which case, go read fanfic, that's what it is for.) I promise you, I promise you, the book would probably be worse with one more chapter and you would not like it as much. Please stop wishing for the author to be less good at their job. Please. A book has to end; so does this post. And we all live happily ever after*. The End.

----- * The post-canon coffeeshop AU sequel will be detailed exhaustively on AO3

[dairy-farmer]

You know how hormonal bullshittery like pregnancy and the monthly Fuck You, make people feel really REALLY horny? Even when they basicly can't act on it or are feeling gross?

......wanna bet that's what being a Beta is like?

Cause they ARE the same species. Why would THEY get to dodge the heats/rutts bullet entirely? They get clipped! They still have to suffer! Hell, I bet they still have the same organs regardless!

That Beta male can ABSOLUTELY give you a child.

It's just incredibly, INCREDIBLY unlikely. THE textbook definition of a high risk pregnancy. Oh, and incredibly tough on their body. Cause the organ is basicly vestigial. It WORKS but for fucks sake! If you're advising a Beta couple, just tell them to use the far more effective SECONDARY in the biologically female beta! Assuming there is one! Are you TRYING to people in the hospital?!

But of course, just cause it isn't likely to give you a baby (unless Extreme Situations blah dee blah dee you get the picture, historical contexts), doesn't mean it doesn't fuck with your hormones. Leave you feeling gross.

Because!

Beats? Get "seasons". Short for fertile seasons. It was this whole old myth, that they were more likely to get pregnant during their "seasons". When in reality, they are basicly either pseudo-heats or pseudo-rutts, depending on which trait (while recessive) is stronger.

Tim looked it up. He had time too.

Cause he feels GROSS and horny. No one touch him or he'll stab you but also cuddle him right now or he'll cry. He hates all of you. Your his best friends and he loves you. He'd burn Gotham down for a Specific Brand of those one pickles.

He can't find the drier sheets... he's a failure and the world is ending, time to sit down and cry.

Needless to say? Thank FUCK it only happens like 3 times a year. He's already a mess, he refuses to let anyone see him like this. He doesn't CARE that "studies" and "common sense" say that pack helps manage the symptoms! He can handle it! Fuck you! He'll bite!

.........he sowwy. Are you mad?

And see, normally? His squirrelly "I gotta drop off the map, don't follow me" routine wouldn't be a problem. God knows BRUCE has let it go on for WAY too long. But? Jason? Jason is suspicious. Been trying to do better. And more importantly?

Been keeping track of days in his head.

Been about three months since you last went dark, Timbers. Suspicious number of days to go silent too. Bout the same number of days as a season. Knock the fuck knock, Timby tock! Open the fucking door. You can do it, or I will.

Tim looks like a miserable drowned Racoon.

Sweaty.

So sexy.

He has the AUDACITY to GROWL at him with his Itty bitty lil crackle beta voice. Jason informs him he's lucky "sad and pathetic" is somehow still cute on him, picks him up like a sack of cheap take-out, and drags him back to his place.

Tells him to scrub the layer of sweaty misery of himself while he gets food ready.

It's... it's nice. Tim realizes. Having this walking tank of an Alpha just sort of casually take care of him. Flop down on him like a weighted blanket. The chatter of Jason's shows in the background, the smell of his nest pressed against Tim's face, pressure against his body, warm and heavy. The feeling of Jason's hand, absent-mindedly playing with his hair, as he reads or researchs.

Tim can... drift.

They don't do anything that first time. Or the second. Or third. But the thought creeps in to Tim's head and won't leave. He bet it'd feel nice. Bet Jason would take care of him. Jason is so GOOD at take care of people. He's so tired. No one ELSE takes care of him. Even when he's so good for them. Tries his best.

.....he wants to go back and nap in Jason's nest again.

That was nice.

And? Alpha senses are sharper then a Betas. Jason NOTICES Tim starting to glance at him more and more. Linger closer and closer. Get that little mournful, hopeful, look in his eyes. Notices him start to look HAPPIER as his season gets closer, instead of annoyed. Like his looking forward to it.

Oh ho~? Jason's a lot of things, but dumb? Not one of them.

Not all of those looks were strictly platonic longing. It gave Jason some things to think about. Too consider. Does he... want too?

.....yeah. Yeah he does.

Better buy some of the Good Shit then. His lube sucks.

So Timbers comes over. Jason's done some research. What helps horny, miserable Betas. He's also a Bat. He pulls the ol "oh look, I just so happen to be freshly showed and in criminally short bathrobe. Mmmm, I sure am CLOSE, aren't i?" gambit. It's not even remotely subtle.

Tim's too busy ogling to notice or care.

Oh LOOK! Jason's sprawling like a magnificent big cat! Legs splayed and muscles loose, draped back against your side like your his personal throne! Mmm, sure is distracted by this show! And not paying attention to you! Would be a perfect time to get... ideas(tm)~

And Tim IS. Because Jason's leaning back against his torso, warm and heavy, smelling so... so NICE. And... t-thighs. Long... legs long. Strong. W.. wanna touch. Lick everything. *desperately tries not to whine in Horny*

But then? Jason does his "absent-mindedly petting Tim" thing? And his self control is fuckin DYING here, man! (Yeah, Jason's knows. It should die faster.) A-and s.. surely it's okay if... if TIM pets back right? Purely platonic! He can control himself!

......that's a fuckin lie.

He's not even sure HOW, but Jason's cock ends up in mouth. And it's like his brain cuts out, leaving him limp and full of pleasant static. Curled up, a strong hand softly playing with his hair, occasionally rubbing his cheek. As his mouth is filled, his vision filled, as all he can smell is JASON. Glide, push, glide, push. Tounge and throat and careful with his teeth.

Like meditation.

He's not even desperately trying to get him off, just wants Jason to fill his mouth. Too pay attention to him. Keep running his hands across his skin. And Jason does.

And sure, he considers pulling Timbers into his lap. Filling him properly. But the lil guy look so RELAXED for once. So blissed out. So? Sure buddy... you can have Alphas cock. Go ahead and suck. That's It. You're doing a real good job.

Course, once he figures out how to turn Tim's brain off? He has to figure out if it's a "all the time" thing or a "season" thing. You know... for excuses reasons. And? As a very stressful serial killer case soon proves? It's an all the time thing.

Drag him back to HIS safe house, patch him up, and pull him down to rest in a nice lil defensible layered nest? Right between his knees as he "keeps watch"? And Timbers can't seem to help himself. And damn if it doesn't feel fantastic, not gonna lie. No one EVER gets that... that fuckin WORSHIPFUL of Jason. It's setting off all SORTS of instincts in his head.

Gonna make that fucked up trainwreck a lasagna. Force him to take a nap.

His his his his, good boy baby, his.

Thankfully, it's not so much Tim OPPOSED as Tim, once again, single mindedly focused. So Jason just has too, with GREAT sacrifice and strength of will, NOT let Tim get his magnificent lil mouth get ahold of his cock. But gently push him back and flop down on him. Run his hands down and down until he strikes gold.

Doesn't take him long to figure out what Tim likes. What days he doesn't want to think, needs to be fucked brainless. What days he can't stand touch, needs a good thick toy and some company. The days he wants Jason's fingers. Or a bead for his clit and a nice long relaxing Zone out suck on Jason's cock.

He's Jason's needy, prissy, demanding, god awful, pillow princess of a train wreck Beta and Jason adores him. They practically live together by now. Reak of each other. You would have to be WILLFULLY BLIND to not notice.

So of course... the others notice last.

Too late! You didn't take care of him, bruce! So I DID! I fed that bitch a lasagna! AND my coc-! *Horrified Bat noises*

Tim's never been happier.

-🐼

😍😍😍😍 jason turning hissy tim into a sweet, pliant beta that would just like to fuck him while looking like the spirtual equivalent of 🥺

[berylcups]

La Squadra’s Biggest Phobias

CW: death, afterlife mentioned, religion , fire, accidents, anesthesia, germs, supernatural/occult, Alzheimer’s, euthanasia, transphobia mention..,

Notes: Happy Halloween!🎃 Here’s the final part of “what freaks La Squadra out “! This is the true horror—Phobia edition! Now, we are talking about PHOBIAS. SERIOUS FEARS. FEARS that YOU or ME may have. Keep that in mind! If this is going to be too much for you, please skip this post and go have some tasty treats instead. 🍬 🍫

Risotto

What frightens them the most: monophobia-being alone

What do they do when they are scared: Pupils dilate, palms get sweaty, bites the inside of cheek till he bleeds

How do they cope with this fear: he doesn’t cope well. He has undiagnosed PTSD and prolonged grief symptoms. When he misses his cousin or his Nonna he will talk to himself. You can sometimes hear him whispering to himself when he’s stressed or depressed.

“Did I add too much salt, Nonna? …let’s have a taste.”

“Hey Cous… what do you think about this new Metallica album? …you’re right. I think the previous album was better too.”

How did this fear develop: after he lost his cousin, his only friend, he grew a deep sense of dread knowing one day he’s going to be all alone, and even possibly dying alone. He dreads the fact he knows that life is finite and we will meet the reaper one day. He doesn’t care if he dies, but he worries about all the people who he cares about die around him…leaving him all alone in a cold world.

How can you support them: depending on how you HC him, telling him about the afterlife might be a comfort to him. But if he doesn’t believe he’d probably sigh and say it’s a nice thought but he highly doubts that there’s something like there waiting for him after death.

But the best way to comfort him is to always remind him that you will never leave him and hold him close. If you die you will always be watching over him, regardless of his beliefs of life after death. You will lovingly haunt him until his last breath. 🖤

Formaggio

What frightens them the most:pyrophobia- fire/getting burned

What do they do when they are scared: gets argumentative, sweating, racing heart

How do they cope with this fear: he has smoke detectors everywhere and has an extinguisher in his kitchen. He refuses to use a gas stove even though they work better than an electric one. He just needs that peace of mind so he doesn’t have the intrusive thoughts of his home bursting into flames.

How did this fear develop: He saw his father get his leg burned and mutilated by drunkenly play with fireworks during a national holiday. Smelling the burned flesh made him sick to his stomach and the image of a wounded leg is burned into his memory. His father has permanent scars on his leg because of his injuries.

How can you comfort them: give this man some lovin’! Let him know that he’s safe and most fires happen due to mishandlings. He’s smart, he’s sensible, and knows exactly what to do when there’s a fire. Let him know you’ll extinguish it for him if he’s too frightened to act.

Illuso

What frightens them the most: Nosophobia-life threatening diseases

What do they do when they are scared: upset stomach, tension headache, hyperventilating

How do they cope with this fear: he keeps up to date with his vaccines. He washes his hands often and uses hand sanitizer when he’s not near a sink. He makes sure all high contact surfaces are sanitized. During flu season he will go out in public with a medical face mask. He doesn’t pay any mind to the stares he gets. He would rather be considered weird than catch the flu.

How did this fear develop: During the AIDS epidemic the hysteria and excessive media coverage struck the fear of death into him. Seeing healthy normal people suddenly become weak and frail to be hospitalized frightened him to the bone. Anytime a disease breakout occurs or new virus shows itself to the world it puts him into a panic attack.

How can you support them: you can help him by giving antioxidant supplements and getting him all his favorite soaps and hand sanitizers in his favorite scents. The gesture really melts his heart and calms him. Try to distract him by not leaving the news on the TV especially during flu season or during a pandemic. The hysteria will only cause him more stress causing his immune system to weaken.

Pesci

What frightens them the most: Deprecophobia- hauntings/curses

What do they do when they are scared: nausea, uncontrollable shaking, full body sweats

How do they cope with this fear: He keeps good luck talismans on himself and prays for protection daily regardless of his religious affiliation. He believes if there is a higher power out there than it would be there to protect him.

How did this fear develop: He was talked into watching the Poltergeist with his older siblings. The movie was frightening but more frightening was the ‘curse’ behind the movie. Hearing about the actors unfairly perishing too soon one after another was too much to be a coincidence. This kept Pesci up at night, and now avoids cursed objects, graveyards, and occult.

How can you support them: it’s hard to prove or disprove the supernatural but let him know he’s safe in your arms. Give him some protective talismans or charms like an evil eye, some sage to burn around his home, some religious symbols of his specific faith (if he has one, HCs will vary ofc). Keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn’t develop any maladaptive rituals (doing things in a certain number, doing things in a specific order, having “magic” thoughts) OCD and superstitions are a nasty duo and he’ll need all the support he can get from you, Prosciutto, and the rest of his friends and family. 💚

Prosciutto

What frightens them the most: Athazagoraphobia- forgetfulness (Alzheimers & dementia )

What do they do when they are scared: mind races, lip biting, head scratching

How do they cope with this fear: He reminds himself that this is just another sad fact of life. When he gets old and forgetful he has options to prevent Alzheimer’s from happening. He decided in his future if there is no medication or therapy that can fix that , he will seek medically assisted euthanasia while he still has some lucidity.

How did this fear develop: watching his grandfathers slow decline over time. His grandfather started forgetting Prosciuttos name, to not remembering that that’s his grandson. What struck fear deeply into him was when he forgot how to eat or how to breathe. Becoming so old and demented that you forget how to commit to basic human functions tears his heart apart and a trauma that will stay with him till he’s as old and demented as he is.

How can you support them: Remind him that not everyone gets that disease when they get old. Try to get him to think positively if possible. But if it’s not likely, ensure you will take care of him always and ensure he lives a full life of dignity. It may be too soon but he is a hitman after all, so helping him fill out his own will and testament will ensure that his wishes will be honored. Be loyal and promise that you will stay by his side til death do you part.

Melone

What frightens them the most: tomophobia-fear of surgical procedures(for Mel, it’s specifically anesthesia awareness)

What do they do when they are scared: skin picking, becoming talkative(manic), increased heart rate

How do they cope with this fear: he tries to remind himself of the probability of it happening again and how rare it really is. He avoids the possibility of any surgical procedures by taking care of his body and getting health check ups often. Aside from his poor eating and sleeping habits, he’s pretty healthy. Well…healthy enough to not need surgeries. He needs more vitamins and sunlight.

How did this fear develop: when he was having dental surgery to remove his wisdom teeth he woke up half way through and could feel and see the bloody tools in his mouth. This frightened the hell out of him and all he could do was weakly groan as he felt the dulled pain. Thankfully they caught it within seconds and put him back out. But he has not gotten over that incident since. That was a minor surgery, the thought of waking up during a major surgery makes him sick with terror.

How can you support them: Thankfully, this is a problem that won’t show up very often. Just reassure him that getting surgery as a healthy person is rare and anesthesia awareness is virtually impossible. Give him all the love and kisses to calm him. And if he just so happens to need a procedure, you’ll be right next to him and won’t leave his side(no matter how much the dr tells you to leave the op room) until he wakes up in recovery.

Ghiaccio

What frightens them the most: gymnophobia- fear of being physically exposed (for him, this includes mentally/emotionally exposed)

What do they do when they are scared: grits teeth, gets silent, hyperventilating

How do they cope with this fear: he clearly struggles with this but he tries to keep his emotions in check. For the most part he’s relaxed. What we saw during Vento Auero was the worst of emotional breakdowns. And who wouldn’t keep it together when your teammates are being killed one by one? Physically, he dresses modestly, as possible, loosely(but not baggy), and in layers. He has had top surgery but still prefers to wear his chest binder for emotional security. He rightfully refuses to be in a state of undress around anyone unless he’s absolutely 100% sure they are going to still treat him the same before they know about his trans identity.

How did this fear develop: By being born and raised in a super religious toxic environment. He was never allowed to be his authentic self and was never allowed to express his feelings. So he feels very uncomfortable and nervous showing off his body or letting anyone know how he feels until he absolutely cannot hold it in anymore and have an emotional outburst.

How can you support them: Due to the complexity of his phobia, just being by his side and emotionally supporting him is best. allow him to be himself. Let him rant if he needs to, and validate his feelings but let him know when he’s being unreasonable. Be body positive and let him know that he’s perfect the way he is, and he can dress whatever way he wants. Whether he wants to wear lots of clothes or very little.

[perfectfangirl]

notes after rewatching fallout s1 ep4

• cooper and lucy wandering the desert and mans starts coughin', somethin' settin' in • whoa i just realized you could hear roger roaring from outside • roger was at a clinic, probably trying to find something to help him ☹️ • i wrote a whole entire post on this scene but anyways can i say we see full blown uncooked cannibalism hardly ten minutes into episode four like is everyone ok • the fact this scene is presented with a lot of tension, like a horror film and truly it's just a guy named roger fighting to stay not feral • i wonder how cooper met him? ghouls tend to know each other after a while [on account of the discrimination], i'm sure he was checking with this man every now and then tbh. perhaps. a friend. • cooper asks roger how he's feeling and he says "you know... it's hard out here. dang smoothies can be so unkind" and i just 😞 • "i see you got a smoothie of your own" ding ding ding ghoulcy this one's for you • you know what's particularly sad about ghoulification is for example that roger has had to isolate himself from others, even ghouls, because he was turning • roger asking for a vial and cooper looking at lucy [cooper, you botched the using lucy for bait, come on] • firmly in the camp that if cooper had vials left, he would give one to roger. cooper has shown himself to be crude and cruel seeming at times but i just know he went there with purpose • roger accepting he's turning and telling cooper and lucy to leave as a warning, roger seemed so nice, why and how did he get like this

• "i did ok" 😞 • going from standard human to turning into a feral ghoul in less than twenty eight years in the fallout universe is insane and idk if there's a lot of lore on why someone could end up like this and someone like cooper not • the difference in cooper's and roger's symptoms are pretty stark--- not entirely sold on him coughing and passing out is from ferality and more inclined to think chem withdrawals but i digress • "say, you remember how good food use to taste?" post war life is so bad, nobody in the wasteland remembers when food use to food 😭

• because roger is really nice and having a conversation, roger turns, speaking to lucy. cooper using this as an opportunity to kill roger seems so sudden and a betrayal until • look at cooper's eyes and his reaction after pulling the trigger--- not exactly the expression of someone who is in it "for the love of the game", in fact, i have come to view this act as a mercy kill • which is ironic of course because as we've all come to see, lucy does the exact thing for her own mother four episodes later • once feral, ghouls roam the wasteland operating on two instincts alone: hunger and defense. they are a threat to all those around them and i don't recall much on reversal. that's no life. roger would've turned feral and harmed them or others, it is sad • cooper mercy killing roger was in some ways compassionate, he had a sweet conversation with roger giving his last thoughts something warm and nice. cooper then going on to butcher and consume his flesh was an uh choice 💀

• and lucy immediately confused was like "wait?, why'd you do that? he was sick." i don't know if she entirely understands ghoulification, seems she thought maybe he could be helped • lucy is basically confused, begging cooper to not like, eat this guy 😭 • i'm gonna have to agree that he didn't have to eat roger, radroaches is everywhere and for free, still pondering if he did this to fuck with her or because some reason i am missing • cooper asking lucy what her name was [hold on, why he care about that?" and lucy so nearly coming this close to finding out what hank did and who cooper is [since she didn't ask his name] • "sometimes a fella's got to eat a fella" is my all time favourite quote in season one of this show lmao • cooper be funny as fuck for no reason like this man's brain is cooked • i would personally like to ask walton whose idea it was to go "mmm. mmm." while eating irradiated human flesh like that, like why is the pre war actor cooper howard like this • lucy is incomprehensibly disgusted but then goes on a thing [a vulnerable thing] about vault 32 starving [in the great plague of '77] and that she lost her mother during this time and that her father never resorted to cannibalism. there's some time and memory discrepancies here • "well there's what people say they did and what they really did" i wanted cooper to be wrong so bad here when he went on to clown hank by saying "i'll bet your daddy was first in line at the cookout. i bet he had a bib with a drawing of his neighbour's ass on it" • lmao they gave all the best lines to cooper, i'm sick, he was right • lucy, having had enough and not finding cooper's humour being used as a way to cope like this asks this disturbed little man • "how do you live like this? why keep going?" and for the briefest moment, and i do mean brief, cooper feels the crushing weight of who he is when lucy confronts him like this • of course he shakes off a moral inquiry and transfers it to another as he asks "why the fuck am i doing all the work?... ass jerky don't make itself." and forces lucy to do it instead • twice now this man has talked about ass in less than ten minutes and for everyone's sake i'll move along 💀

• woody basically trying to interrogate the raider prisoners and getting nothing, meanwhile--- i think they already starting to be poisoned • ooo ok but betty telling norm he's the last standing maclean in the vault so his words carry and people listen. it occurred to me maybe he inadvertently inspired the poisonings of the raiders but it's also occurring to me that because they couldn't just all be shot outright, being poisoned was the best follow through method, nobody notices until it's already too late. now who is sneaky enough for that? • "when clever boys like you are angry, you're lucky not to have seen where that can lead." so... was betty present for shady sands? hmm • betty asking norm to tread lightly is very... not a threat, but she's watching him, right

• ok! we have that second water scene. it's confirmed here cooper is fetching water from an irradiated source [hence why denying lucy any makes sense] he puts it in his canteen and drinks it just fine. lucy is obviously mindlessly thirsty because she defeatedly drops down to drink the murky, stagnant irradiated water. it's so irradiated, her pip boy is going crazy, she literally gags in the scene • "now you're getting it. how does this golden rule jibe with what's going through your head now?" well i mean we knew cooper been fucking with her the whole time and showing her the wasteland streets but it is also unlikely she would have found a clean water source where they are, i guess her getting radiation sickness may have been inevitable but cooper denying her water kept her from being sick • after another insane string of sentences from this centuries old movie star, lucy finally asks "what are you?" and it's more like "what the fuck is wrong with you?" • "oh i'm you, sweetie, you just give it a little time" is majorly menacing after everybody just drank stagnant rad water like it's koolaid • cooper felt so smug then was zapped with karma again because he has a coughing fit directly after telling lucy this lmao • walton has such a good old man cough ❤️ • lucy takes cooper coughing up a lung as an opportunity to run [where i don't know but] • cooper uses his lasso skills he used to use at kid's parties to pull lucy back and then says some shit like "where you think you going? you ain't going nowhere."

• so we have arrived at the infamous and intriguing finger biting off scene--- can i just say she bit his finger off with such ease and then! cooper doesn't even act like it hurt, he seems... pleased he got that kind of reaction out of lucy. he's like into it 💀 • "there you are, you little killer" i'll keep this pg13 and say cooper really wanted to get a rise out of lucy, to bring the dog out of her, huh • he... then proceeds to cut her [corresponding hand's] finger off. ironically applying the "do unto others as you would have done unto you" tit for tat, if you will • i was surprised he did this because like ok, she spat it out? pick it up and reattach it, fella 😭 but there's more under the surface here because • cooper says "now that right there is the closest thing we've had to an honest exchange so far." and he's being framed in a close up so close, you can see his dainty eyelashes, sun shining in the background, his hazel eyes sparkling--- this is not on accident ☝️ gdgkdkfd • there's a lot of symbolism to be had but for now, i'll save that for next episode notes when cooper does the thing • ah chet! and steph. i kinda am of the idea she strategically got with him but anyways! who wouldn't! chet hot as fuck! and steph look like an assassin • bert's shoes so small gldgldfl • steph is definitely angry and sad dealing with bert's death in her own special way [trying to fuck chet] • excuse me but why they turned an almost sex scene into a birthing scene 😭💀 • lucy been walking the wasteland without a shoe, how she do it 😭 • i did not pick up on cooper bartering lucy for two months' worth of vials [thanks subtitles] • "mint condition" [looks at a bloody stump on hand] "near mint condition" now who fault is this?? lmao • "you got problems out here too, sweetheart" like, shut up 😭 • cooper every time he interacts with a mr. handy is one of the only few places he gets to hear a voice of this old friend • "best you try your luck behind that door" well at least he untied her • this is like the third time he's gotten instant karma with lucy because either he pretended to keep it together until she went in or genuinely didn't know he was going to pass out but • went through the five stages of grief trying to figure who he sold her to because i deadass was thinking the same thing lucy was 😭 • lucy being given the finger of like, a corpse or something because it's grey 😭 forever changed by the wasteland, always carrying a little bleakness and death with her ❤️ • lucy never experiencing real cotton [or maybe only rarely] • lucy calling cooper a creature 😭 • "he put a leash around my neck and made me drink from puddle water that i'm pretty sure was some kind of animal pee" sending 😭 she talking to this evil mr. handy like it's a person • her recounting her captivity with cooper like he was simply being mean to her is just • "and i thought i was here to be a sex slave." "what?! no! what a disgusting idea. i'm simply going to harvest your organs." damn, fallout which one is worse, like fuck---

• hope the jello cake veronica got wasn't poisoned... • "what are you looking at?" "a murderer in a cage, paying the price for what you did to us. for what you did to the innocent people in vault 32" and norm gets circumstantial evidence from a raider by accidentally cross examining one of them with it being more than anything woody could coax out of them • one thing about the macleans, they smart • i also think it's excellent writing that intrigue was spurred like this by a raider saying vault 32 wasn't innocent because they were running an experiment like all the vaults did, everything isn't so black and white • norm reads every situation correctly because why he read chet by saying chet came along to investigate because norm reminds him of lucy fkdgkdkg • still piecing together the full extent of vaults 31, 32, 33 together but at first i couldn't understand why it looked like so many took their own lives--- apparently them discovering what vault 31 was about started a rebellion but two years seemed so recent to me. curious how this overlaps with shady sands if it does • they showed the spooky ass rat utopia experiment still playing on the tvs in there but i wasn't sure if this was explicit about that being vault 32's experiment

• lucy being prompted to continue on because of a flashback from her mom upon awakening 🥲 • "lucy sweetie what are you doing out here?" and those were her memories on the surface [nevermind cooper calling her [[condescendingly]] "sweetheart"] • i did not realize the ghouls were being kept in the freezers but it looks like they either only sell ghouls or keep the ghouls "on ice" [not unlike how dom pedro would keep cooper and cut pieces off of him] and collect the organs of standard people right then and there • "sir, you can't do this. please, i need my organs" lucy, it's just a robot bulter, he's not a real guy 😭 • the way lucy got out of this pickle quick, almost got snip snipped but short circuited the murderbot • lucy putting her murdercap on and putting drano in the murderbot's syringes, clever girl • it was so "star wars" of her to treat mr. handy like a person and then the guys running the organ trafficking scheme going "you might as well be holding an air conditioner hostage" 😭 • the organ traffickers running the super duper mart ring are so dull and banal evil types, it's so satire

• i just registered those two organ trafficker guys got a camera and can see cooper laid out in front of the store • lucy freeing the ghouls 🥲and one even thanking her [even the feral ones 💀] • poor martha, i peep how we see lucy's grey finger and it being shown used to defend herself against martha in her feral state • organ traffickers got ate up bless • nothing lucy did besides shoot was going to honestly stop martha, sometimes your pacifist playthrough doesn't go as planned • the pip boys still being on and running on the not alive people in vault 32 • "death to management" and it's directly the reference to vault 31's experiment, right there

• lucy walking out of there with mismatched shoes but two shoes nonetheless ☝️ • i guess lucy sincerely did not comprehend cooper is a ghoul or ghoulification, i suppose most vault dwellers literally would never know, that's post war history, wow • lucy asking cooper about if the vials keep him from going feral and he cannot even speak, he can only nod, from a prone position, on the ground--- the power/framing trade off is excellent • lucy bends down, briefly rolls the gun in her hand, while cooper lies helpless, she delivers a fatal line • "i may end up looking like you. but i'll never be like you" harbouring not enough ill will against him despite mistreatment, she gives cooper several vials, directly near his hand. didn't have to do none of that shit! • if i was cooper, i'd be scared as hell of this lady, she took down an organ trafficking ring in a grocery store ran by two armed guys, a murderbot, with some feral ghoul hostages, all of the bad and dangerous people fucking died • she really could've ended cooper right then and there, his devotion in season two gone be unmatched lmao

• i truly think he had a hint of a smile on his face after she helped [save his life] by anyways • lucy walks into the proverbial sunset meanwhile this man shambles into super duper mart about to go on the biggest bender the wasteland has seen since the bombs dropped • cooper gets so fucked up, i lost count how many things he ingested, king said all of 'em • cooper is so goddamn famous, his film "the man from deadhorse" is just sitting next to a tv • you could say here is where cooper has a crisis of conscience whereupon he holds the tape in his hand but truly we know already he had that centuries ago when he filmed "the man from deadhorse"

• cooper watching the scene, the very moment in his life where things started to shift--- he tries to cock an invisible fun, being unable as he remembers his trigger finger is gone [neutral, disarmed, here's where i think he decides he wants to sew on lucy's finger to his hand] it's like he's starting over, a moral rebirth but with his trigger finger • they really made cooper say "you commie son of a bitch" in a western, just ugly propaganda • let's examine "feo, fuerte, y formal" again! "ugly, strong, dignity" does post war cooper have two out of three on that front? is this his step into regaining dignity again? • cooper was always playing characters, it was expected of him and he got paid for it. it feels like a wall is being torn down, something is being shed here. and maybe it's this character he's masquerading as • cooper and lucy both having revelations in the super duper mart--- lucy realising you can't always reason and logic out of a situation and cooper being confronted with the fact you can keep your morality and sense of self intact and a horrible place and situation doesn't have to change you

[misscammiedawn]

Mr. Robot and Accepting Trauma Memories

In all my posts about how good Mr. Robot can be about depicting healing for those with DID, I never did highlight the last conversation Elliot has with his therapist in Season 4.

[Scene paraphrased, skipping comments about Elliot's father or the itch in the back of Elliot's head]

Upon his trauma memories returning Elliot is dissociated and barely holding it together. His therapist, who was with him for the revelation, gets him to safety (as always depicted by golden light in the show)

Krista's camera angle keeps Elliot in frame at all times while Elliot remains alone. She's reaching out and he's withdrawing. The show always uses camera angles and empty space to show isolation. All the empty space with subjects usually singled out in the 1-2 shots as a way to show their lack of connection.

Krista is on the very edge of the frame, meeting Elliot where he is. She's not trying to pull him out of his dissociation, she's just trying to reach out and offer him grounding and connection and comfort.

The thing being depicted here though is one of the most empathetic displays of trauma memories resurfacing. Elliot wants to forget again and Krista says that he never forgot.

In reality trauma memories, even the most buried ones, remain active and present within anyone suffering a dissociative disorder. The mind simply prevents access to that information as a means of self-preservation. When triggered or summoned it will activate the nervous system and create a recall response. In Elliot's case an "itch in the back of his mind"

At a cellular level, the body stores a memory of everything it has experienced. Sometimes this is evoked through touch, ranging from casual touch, to intimate touching, to massage and body-work. Sometimes a trigger can cause these body memories to break through. Sometimes the body memory just surfaces. Although there are times when a body memory coincides with an identifiable flashback, sometimes it may seem to happen ‘out of nowhere’. This can be extremely frightening and unnerving, especially if you don’t know this is what is happening. It does not mean you have ‘lost it’ or that you are crazy. Your mind is not playing a cruel trick on you, but rather is presenting you with memory or information that needs to be worked through so you can heal from the wounding you experienced. The phenomena of flashbacks and body memories can become more complex when you are not the only personality residing within your physical body— especially until you-all each have a greater sense of ‘self’ and ‘System’. If you have not yet reached a place of distinguishing between yourself and others in your System, you may have a consciousness of sensations that are the memory and/or current experience of another part. While this may seem strange or odd, it is not unheard of. Each part doing their own work, getting to know each other better, and getting strong senses of self- and System- is really what will get things to a more manageable place. - Got Parts ~ An Insiders Guide to Managing Life Successfully with Dissociative Identity Disorder (ATW)

When it comes to handling trauma memories the option to "just forget" does not truly exist. To not think about it does not prevent the mind from reacting when the trigger is touched. The memory will summon sense memory or emotional flashback and cause symptoms.

The only path to healing is to engage with those memories and work on integrating them. No matter how hard that may seem. Because to continue pushing it away is to allow the triggers to continue activating the nervous system and let the memory literally haunt the present day.

I'm glad that Krista got to say that.

Season 4 Episode 8 is all about accepting the weight of the trauma memory.

The final moment of the episode has Mr. Robot, who was created to protect the system and is modeled to look and act like Elliot's abuser, returns to talk to Elliot about what happened. Bathed in golden light and within their base of operations "Allsafe"

Elliot flinches at the mere thought of Mr. Robot. The living memory of his father and the one who held the memories of his abuse for so long. Fearing that he has failed in his duty as Elliot's protector, Mr. Robot speaks, desperate to fix it, knowing that now the memories have resurfaced he may not be able to any longer.

"The only reason I'm here is to make sure no one ever hurts you. That was supposed to be your father's job. But he failed. He was too weak. But you? You were strong. You fought back the only way you could. You brought me here to protect you from him."

"I tried to keep you safe and only show you the memories when the two of you were friends before..." he pauses and lets the implication hang in the air, "I thought I could store the truth so you'd never have to see it or feel it. Fact is I didn't wanna see it either. I made a terrible mistake. I was afraid. Afraid of what this would do to you. To us.

"This was never my secret to keep. And you deserved better than to live in darkness for so long. I'm so sorry. I failed you, too. I understand if you can't forgive me or you decide to shut me out for good. Just as long as you know that I am not your father. I never was."

"You're nothing like him. That's why I created you. You're the father I needed. Not the father I had."

"If I could have stopped him. If I could go back in time. Change everything that happened to you and make it all go away..."

"Then I wouldn't be me." Elliot finally turns to look at Mr. Robot, "And I wouldn't have you."

Mr Robot finally protectively holds Elliot and he breaks down in sobs, unsure if he has it in him to see their hacking plan through.

In this scene Mr. Robot accepts the truth that holding those memories from Elliot caused him so much pain over the years and that it was all he knew to do as a protector but faced with the reality of him accepting the pain he understands he was wrong.

The episode also features Elliot's child alter guiding him to evidence that they did fight back against their father as a child. They locked the door to their childhood bedroom and hid the key that Edward had access to. They threw themselves out of a window to prevent him hurting either him or their sister.

They were a child and sometimes the only way to fight back is to hide or to show the abuser that you'll not accept their abuse silently.

Both Mr. Robot and Krista praise the child who received the abuse for doing all they could to fight back, even when they felt so powerless. That it was not their fault. That the abuse was something they did everything they could to try and stop.

Mr. Robot even goes in and says that he wishes he could use a time machine to undo it and Elliot, finally accepting the core themes of the show, rejects the notion outright.

"I wouldn't be me. And I wouldn't have you."

Healthy acceptance of that which is and treasuring all that has been made with his life despite the trauma.

The main villain's plan is to use what is implied to be a time machine to reject the pain of this harsh reality in search of a better one. She would see suffering and turmoil in the present to bring about a better history. She is so fixated on reclaiming the world she feels she was owed that she cannot accept the reality she finds herself in.

Elliot goes dormant after his conversation with Mr. Robot and he takes over for the big hacking plan. During the finale of the "Fsociety" portion of the plot, Elliot finally resurfaces when Whiterose promises that her plot (implied heavily to be a time machine) can bring back a loved one that was murdered earlier in the show. When confronted with the choice between pressing forward with the pain of loss or retreating into delusion and rejection of reality; Elliot chooses to resurface.

Cementing the theme and moral firmly. It is better to accept the past and integrate it into your future than to live in rejection. Even if it hurts.

It's the only way to heal.

[reasonsforhope]

When Swiss cardiologist Thomas F. Lüscher attended an international symposium in Turin, Italy, last summer, he encountered an unusual “attendee:” Suzanne, Chat GPT’s medical “assistant.” Suzanne’s developers were eager to demonstrate to the specialists how well their medical chatbot worked, and they asked the cardiologists to test her. 

An Italian cardiology professor told the chatbot about the case of a 27-year-old patient who was taken to his clinic in unstable condition. The patient had a massive fever and drastically increased inflammation markers. Without hesitation, Suzanne diagnosed adult-onset Still’s disease. “I almost fell off my chair because she was right,” Lüscher remembers. “This is a very rare autoinflammatory disease that even seasoned cardiologists don’t always consider.”

Lüscher — director of research, education and development and consultant cardiologist at the Royal Brompton & Harefield Hospital Trust and Imperial College London and director of the Center for Molecular Cardiology at the University of Zürich, Switzerland — is convinced that artificial intelligence is making cardiovascular medicine more accurate and effective. “AI is not only the future, but it is already here,” he says. “AI and machine learning are particularly accurate in image analysis, and imaging plays an outsize role in cardiology. AI is able to see what we don’t see. That’s impressive.” 

At the Royal Brompton Hospital in London, for instance, his team relies on AI to calculate the volume of heart chambers in MRIs, an indication of heart health. “If you calculate this manually, you need about half an hour,” Lüscher says. “AI does it in a second.” 

AI-Assisted Medicine

Few patients are aware of how significantly AI is already determining their health care. The Washington Post tracks the start of the boom of artificial intelligence in health care to 2018. That’s when the Food and Drug Administration approved the IDx-DR, the first independent AI-based diagnostic tool, which is used to screen for diabetic retinopathy. Today, according to the Post, the FDA has approved nearly 700 artificial intelligence and machine learning-enabled medical devices.

The Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, is considered the worldwide leader in implementing AI for cardiovascular care, not least because it can train its algorithms with the (anonymized) data of more than seven million electrocardiograms (ECG). “Every time a patient undergoes an ECG, various algorithms that are based on AI show us on the screen which diagnoses to consider and which further tests are recommended,” says Francisco Lopez-Jimenez, director of the Mayo Clinic’s Cardiovascular Health Clinic. “The AI takes into account all the factors known about the patient, whether his potassium is high, etc. For example, we have an AI-based program that calculates the biological age of a person. If the person in front of me is [calculated to have a biological age] 10 years older than his birth age, I can probe further. Are there stressors that burden him?”

Examples where AI makes a sizable difference at the Mayo Clinic include screening ECGs to detect specific heart diseases, such as ventricular dysfunction or atrial fibrillation, earlier and more reliably than the human eye. These conditions are best treated early, but without AI, the symptoms are largely invisible in ECGs until later, when they have already progressed further...

Antioniades’ team at the University of Oxford’s Radcliffe Department of Medicine analyzed data from over 250,000 patients who underwent cardiac CT scans in eight British hospitals. “Eighty-two percent of the patients who presented with chest pain had CT scans that came back as completely normal and were sent home because doctors saw no indication for a heart disease,” Antioniades says. “Yet two-thirds of them had an increased risk to suffer a heart attack within the next 10 years.” In a world-first pilot, his team developed an AI tool that detects inflammatory changes in the fatty tissues surrounding the arteries. These changes are not visible to the human eye. But after training on thousands of CT scans, AI learned to detect them and predict the risk of heart attacks. “We had a phase where specialists read the scans and we compared their diagnosis with the AI’s,” Antioniades explains. “AI was always right.” These results led to doctors changing the treatment plans for hundreds of patients. “The key is that we can treat the inflammatory changes early and prevent heart attacks,” according to Antioniades. 

The British National Health Service (NHS) has approved the AI tool, and it is now used in five public hospitals. “We hope that it will soon be used everywhere because it can help prevent thousands of heart attacks every year,” Antioniades says. A startup at Oxford University offers a service that enables other clinics to send their CT scans in for analysis with Oxford’s AI tool.

Similarly, physician-scientists at the Smidt Heart Institute and the Division of Artificial Intelligence in Medicine at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles use AI to analyze echograms. They created an algorithm that can effectively identify and distinguish between two life-threatening heart conditions that are easy to overlook: hypertrophic cardiomyopathy and cardiac amyloidosis. “These two heart conditions are challenging for even expert cardiologists to accurately identify, and so patients often go on for years to decades before receiving a correct diagnosis,” David Ouyang, cardiologist at the Smidt Heart Institute, said in a press release. “This is a machine-beats-man situation. AI makes the sonographer work faster and more efficiently, and it doesn’t change the patient experience. It’s a triple win.”

Current Issues with AI Medicine

However, using artificial intelligence in clinical settings has disadvantages, too. “Suzanne has no empathy,” Lüscher says about his experience with Chat GPT. “Her responses have to be verified by a doctor. She even says that after every diagnosis, and has to, for legal reasons.”

Also, an algorithm is only as accurate as the information with which it was trained. Lüscher and his team cured an AI tool of a massive deficit: Women’s risk for heart attacks wasn’t reliably evaluated because the AI had mainly been fed with data from male patients. “For women, heart attacks are more often fatal than for men,” Lüscher says. “Women also usually come to the clinic later. All these factors have implications.” Therefore, his team developed a more realistic AI prognosis that improves the treatment of female patients. “We adapted it with machine learning and it now works for women and men,” Lüscher explains. “You have to make sure the cohorts are large enough and have been evaluated independently so that the algorithms work for different groups of patients and in different countries.” His team made the improved algorithm available online so other hospitals can use it too...

[Lopez-Jimenez at the Mayo Clinic] tells his colleagues and patients that the reliability of AI tools currently lies at 75 to 93 percent, depending on the specific diagnosis. “Compare that with a mammogram that detects breast tumors with an accuracy of 85 percent,” Lopez-Jimenez says. “But because it’s AI, people expect 100 percent. That simply does not exist in medicine.”

And of course, another challenge is that few people have the resources and good fortune to become patients at the world’s most renowned clinics with state-of-the-art technology.

What Comes Next

“One of my main goals is to make this technology available to millions,” Lopez-Jimenez says. He mentions that Mayo is trying out high-tech stethoscopes to interpret heart signals with AI. “The idea is that a doctor in the Global South can use it to diagnose cardiac insufficiency,” Lopez-Jimenez explains. “It is already being tested in Nigeria, the country with the highest rate of genetic cardiac insufficiency in Africa. The results are impressively accurate.” 

The Mayo Clinic is also working with doctors in Brazil to diagnose Chagas disease with the help of AI reliably and early. “New technology is always more expensive at the beginning,” Lopez-Jimenez cautions, “but in a few years, AI will be everywhere and it will make diagnostics cheaper and more accurate.”

And the Children’s National Hospital in Washington developed a portable AI device that is currently being tested to screen children in Uganda for rheumatic heart disease, which kills about 400,000 people a year worldwide. The new tool reportedly has an accuracy of 90 percent. 

Both Lopez-Jimenez and Lüscher are confident that AI tools will continue to improve. “One advantage is that a computer can analyze images at 6 a.m. just as systematically as after midnight,” Lüscher points out. “A computer doesn’t get tired or have a bad day, whereas sometimes radiologists overlook significant symptoms. AI learns something and never forgets it.”

-via Reasons to Be Cheerful, March 1, 2024. Headers added by me.

--

Note:

Okay, so I'm definitely not saying that everything with AI medicine will go right, and there won't be any major issues. That's definitely not the case (the article talks about some of those issues). But regulation around medicines is generally pretty tight, and

And if it goes right, this could be HUGE for disabled people, chronically ill people, and people with any of the unfortunately many marginalizations that make doctors less likely to listen.

This could shave years off of the time it takes people to get the right diagnosis. It could get answers for so many people struggling with unknown diseases and chronic illness. If we compensate correctly, it could significantly reduce the role of bias in medicine. It could also make testing so much faster.

(There's a bunch of other articles about all of the ways that AI diagnoses are proving more sensitive and more accurate than doctors. This really is the sort of thing that AI is actually good at - data evaluation and science, not art and writing.)

This decade really is, for many different reasons, the beginning of the next revolution in medicine. Luckily, medicine is mostly pretty well-regulated - and of course that means very long testing phases. I think we'll begin to really see the fruits of this revolution in the next 10 to 15 years.

[satansaidnottoday]

When you get sick

Based on the Uno reverse Beel pulled in the last post.

Info: Human AU, GN!Mc.

Summary: You've got the cold and now your boyfriend must take care of you.

Warnings: general talk of sickness.

Lucifer

Has "do what I say, not what I do" energy. 

He urges you to take time off and rest. Says it's very important to relax for a timely recovery. Be sure to remember his exact words for the next time he is sick.

Will try to get out of work earlier so he can take care of you. He calls you throughout the day to see how you're doing and if you need anything. If you're in a really bad condition, he will take time off to take care of you.

He can't cook, but will order any foods you like. 

He will cuddle you if you ask, but won't offer on his own. He is a little scared of it being contagious. 

When you feel better, he won't expect anything from you but will accept any gestures of gratitude you give him.

Mammon

Whiny.

Thinks you're going to die.

You have to reassure him that it's just a cold every thirty minutes. I will try to get you to the hospital anyway.

He is completely at your service from day one. Do not dare move a muscle; the great Mammon has everything covered for you.

You have a fresh supply of hot tea always by your side. He makes sure you get all of your meals. He keeps a tally of every medicine you need to take. You basically have a personal nurse.

Lots of cuddles and massages.

If you're trembling at all because of the fever, he will hold you as if you were having a seizure.

He cries a lot when you're in pain, probably more than you.

When you're feeling better, he will expect at the very least a thank-you gift. A shopping spree would be preferable.

Leviathan

He doesn't know what to do.

Finds everything to be too overwhelming. He is really worried about you and wants to help, but he has no idea how to take care of a sick person. So, of course, he goes back to the person who used to take care of him when he was sick. Mammon.

He tries his hardest to be just as supportive, but it doesn't go well. The tea is always too hot or too cold, he only knows how to make ramen, and he keeps forgetting about the ibuprofen!

In the end, the best he can do for you is bring you more tissue boxes and lay down by your side while you watch movies. You reassure him that this is more than enough, but he still feels a little guilty.

When you feel better, make a great spectacle about how helpful he was. He did miss a butch of seasonal releases just to stay with you.

Satan

He will insist you take time off the moment symptoms start to show.

Shows up at your house with a butch of medicinal herbs. Mint to open up your nose, lavender to help with the headache, cardamom for... Something? He knows it had some healing property, but seems to have forgotten. He makes you some soup with it just in case it was important.

Won't go near you, even if you ask. Most he'd do is help you get around if your muscles are aching.

He will tell you about his latest read and how it made him feel. If you have read it, he will ask you to compare notes. Just trying to keep you entertained any way he can.

He brings all of his favorite tea blends for you to try out.

He won't expect anything in return for his care. He loves you, and that's just what you do for the people you love.

Asmodeus

Whiny 2.0

"My poor, beautiful thing."

He might not know a lot about caring for the sick, but he knows a lot about self-care. You will still have a runny nose, but your skin will shine, baby. 

He will pamper you. Have all of the blankets. Sleep for as long as you want. Ask for any food, and he will get it for you. With unlimited snacks, you can even have his favorite chocolates. He will watch all of your comfort shows and movies with you.

Baths, many baths. They are really good when you're sick; they relax your muscles and help the bad energies leave the body.

As soon as you're feeling good, it's his turn to be pampered! So better be prepared.

Beelzebub

If nothing else, you're well fed.

All healthy meals, he won't let you indulge in sweets. Your body needs protein and veggies right now, and he will have them for you at every meal. 

Will cut fruit for you as snack.

Pushes you to do some light exercises when you can. Sweat out the sickness.

He is very supportive, constantly telling you you're going to be okay. He will stay by your side every single minute.

He will carry you around if your muscles are sore.

When you're feeling better, he will make you desert. For the days he has you surviving on steamed broccoli and rice.

Belphegor

This is actually great news.

He gets to cuddle with you all day, and you won't be able to escape. He can even use you as an excuse to take a day off. No work, no school, just napping with his favorite person. Every day should be like that.

If only you didn't have to be sick for it to happen. 

He doesn't know much about taking care of someone. Being the youngest one, everyone else always took care of him. But he doesn't like seeing you hurt, so he will try his best.

The best medicine he can offer you is a good nap in his arms, but he will try some of Satan's medicinal teas. If needed, he will get Lucifer to drive him to the pharmacy. 

He doesn't know a thing about eating healthy, so you will get a diet of chips, pastries, and candy.

If you manage to get better, he will whine about not having your full attention anymore.

Thanks for reading!

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Not being capable of saying "I'm sorry"

So that did the trick for me.

I wasn't shipping them until I realized that there was something in there. Between them, I mean. Something so strong that would survive Review and his infamous:

"No acid - Your dish needs acid - My behavior was not OK - Yes, chef. Last check is ready whenever - Family style? - Two tops - Booths?- Window on the side... Yeah-" And she not stepping into that kitchen until Carmy basically gave her his blessing. She didn't move when Rich said: "Syd, quit fucking around! Grab a can opener." That silent eye contact and his smile were soooo telling, before he started offering her his dream, before he shared with her his whole future.

INSTEAD OF JUST SAYING/TEXTING: "I'M SORRY, I APOLOGIZE". Because admitting something was wrong and apologizing for it, are two different things. And committing to never doing it again, is yet ANOTHER completely different thing.

I have posted my theory about Storer being a converted Sydcarmyfan here before and I also heard that JAW and Ayo said that while they were shooting S1 any kind of a romantic plot didn't cross their minds at all. And I believe them.

What Storer and Calo did was create a character like Carmy who can't talk about his feelings and lives in constant denial of them, bottling them up to the point of complete shutdown, which is a trauma response. Hence, all his symptoms such as Panic attacks - Sleep disorders, etc. So that set the basis to do whatever they wanted with Carmy moving forward and what they did in the very last ep of S1 was to make him fall for Syd, which I also covered here. I actually think it started here, but on a totally subconscious level. He started his slow-burn journey in Braciole. He really began to get the idea when he slept with Claire and Syd crossed his mind in such an intimate moment, which is what I think the common blue cinematography implied.

And by the time we got to Omellete, he was 100% aware of his feelings for Syd, after the panic attack.

That took him to open up under the table, in the best way he could.

Took him a whole season to use his words, he's just getting started. That table was just a warm-up.

And let's not forget the costume jacket - again, no words-, which also hints that Syd has been on his mind for a long time, like I said, on different levels, but still...

So now that he's getting "verbal" maybe he will learn to actually say he's sorry and apologizing with words and also actions, after getting out of the walk-in. That walk-in was also a space to reflect about his feelings for Syd that he had been putting in the freezer to deal with at a later time. But how much longer can he keep them in there before they start to rot?

I wanna say, not more than 5 to 6 more eps. Tops.

I'm talking about coming clean about how he feels, using words like a grown-up and all. Not about a full-on Sydcarmy development.

What I'm saying is that there's a reason why Storer and Calo created this leading character like this, non-verbal, intense, and talented with his hands, and the whole show revolves around his arc.

Sydney is the plot twist, he is the plot.

[here2bbtstrash]

Miss you❤️

i miss you all so much, my goodness 🥹 shall we do a small life update?

partner moved in! my place was small to begin with so it's definitely a little cramped in here now 🥴 but we have our eyes on getting a bigger place when the lease is up. i'm super happy to have him around all the time, just sleeping in the same bed every night and sharing our meals together brings me so much comfort. it's been really wonderful!!

i turned thirty 😳 and honestly it... hasn't been a big deal at all lmao. i feel so excited to be entering this decade. i think i care a lot less about things that ultimately don't matter than i did in my twenties, and i feel a lot more sure about myself and what's important to me! plus i had a super-fun karaoke party with some of my favorite humans 🥰

i've seen so much kpop this summer, and it's not even over yet!!!! txt, itzy, ive, stray kids, ateez, and we have (g)i-dle, kard, and seventeen still to come before the year is through!! the shows have all been AMAZING, and ofc the best part is having friends come into town and getting to experience it together!! (and yes we did see lolla felix in person and no i have not recovered 😵‍💫)

and for the least-fun update..... health news 😔 after a whole bunch of concerning symptoms that were continuing to worsen over the last year, i sought out a specialist and got some tests run and have been diagnosed with ✨endometriosis✨ - and friends, this shit blows. i am on some new meds that we are hoping will help mitigate symptoms so that i don't have to have surgery (for now!), but the adjustment period has not been even a little bit fun, nor have the swirling unknowns about things like fertility or long-term quality of life. it's something i'm trying to give myself space to process and get adjusted to, bc even as someone with long-term mental health issues and adhd, adjusting to a chronic physical illness is a whole nother fucking ballpark. but i'm hopeful for an improvement with these new meds, and very lucky to have the best support system i could ever ask for - y'all know who you are 🫶

unfortunately, because of all these bullet points but particularly the last one, writing has continued to be at a full standstill. i am really hopeful that the inspiration will come back for me when it's ready, but for now i'm allowing myself to be in a different season of life and feel okay with that! i am still counting down the days til our boys come home (i quite literally am on the verge of tears every time i think about how SOON we will have hobi back MY LOOOOOOVE 😭😭😭) and i cannot wait to see what this next chapter brings, for them and for us!!

i hope you're all doing well, would love to hear your own life updates if you feel like sharing!! MWAH 🤍

[windywhistler]

I know I haven’t posted in a while, but I’d like to post a little farewell to G5. I know it wasn’t a lot of people’s favorite, and it definitely had its fair share of flaws (I remember giggling with my partner when the first episode of MYM came out over how stiff the animation was!), but I loved it very much, and I hope maybe we can somehow see these characters again. I loved this cast very much, so I’m going to ramble a bit below this. For a quick TL;DR: I love these sillies a whole lot, and they will always hold a very special place in my heart :)

Misty in particular means SO much to me. I love her and the way she overcomes living with Opaline, especially because the other Mane 5 are just. So willing to give her space to come into her own and discover who she is in a way she’s comfortable with every time she’s uncomfortable. Found family Misty is everything to me as someone who grew up with a not-so-great family and sees her friends as her family. On that note, I also really like the way Sunny is portrayed to have PTSD symptoms after struggling with 2 villains (shoutout to Allura though, I wish we got a proper end to your story girl). I like it when shows acknowledge that going through crazy stuff often results in trauma. She has very obvious flashbacks in s1 ep68 and s2 ep7 of TYT, and she starts experiencing paranoia, having nightmares, and being hyper-vigilant, and it means so much to me that they bothered to show how living through those situations impacted her mental health.

Next, I think I wanna talk about Izzy! I know a lot of people see her as “the Pinkie Pie clone” (and, to be fair, she IS pretty similar), but I feel like she’s so much more than that. I love her having Violette as her own protégé, and how she’s always so excited to use her creativity to help others! It’s nice to see G5’s Mane 6 teach others their own “elements” much in the way that FiM’s Mane 6 acted as mentors to others. I’m also VERY glad they brought back rainbowified ponies, even if Izzy was the only one. She looks GREAT, and getting to see that they brought it back one last time for the final episode made me SO happy (I actually SQUEALED when I saw the thumbnail for episode 23!). I know that part isn’t really personality related, but it still makes me happy!

I’d also like to sing some praises about Hitch, too. Adding a male to the main cast was a rather bold move in my opinion, since the closest we’ve ever gotten to that is maybe Spike in any gen, Danny in G1, and maaaybe Teddy in MLP Tales? We’ve never really had a boy be part of the established main group, and oh boy was Hitch the perfect beginning for that! He’s such a goofball, and I love the sort of “awkward, cringey dad who loves his son very much” thing they did. Yes, he’s different from movie Hitch, but I always saw that as a side effect of now having a child to parent in the form of Sparky. A LOT of people’s personalities can change post-having kids, and I think it’s interesting that they made him like one of those parents who just wants to bubble wrap their kid and keep them safe. It’s pretty funny, since Sparky doesn’t exactly seem to mind or care. He reminds me a tiny bit of my own dad, and that’s something that means a lot to me.

The last two I want to talk about are, of course, Pipp and Zipp! As for Pipp, I honestly… wasn’t the biggest fan of her at first. I think I was just cranky because they added technology and social media to my Horse Show, LOL! Once I kind of got used to that, she grew on me. She grew on me BAD. I absolutely ADORE Pipp; she’s just the cutest! I love how they have her take accountability when she screws up, and I think it’s really important how she teaches kids that it’s okay to put the phone down for a while around seasons 4-5 of MYM, especially given how much tech plays a part in everyone’s lives these days. I think her having confidence and wanting to SHARE that confidence rather than bring others down is really admirable, and I love the approach they had when designing her character in intentionally making her shorter and rounder than the rest of the cast (most notable in TYT), but very specifically not having her be insecure about it. Touching on bodily insecurity is always great, but I also love seeing characters who look different where it’s just… okay. It’s accepted. I think that's pretty awesome!

Last but ABSOLUTELY not least is Zipp! She was my first favorite of G5 (they’re ALL my favorites now, I fear), and I’ve always thought it was so awesome how they had this royal character who was actively against corruption in power AND didn’t want to be treated as royalty! Having a character who’s heir to the throne and very blatantly… DOESN’T want to be/isn’t looking forward to it is something I feel like I haven’t seen a whole lot, and it’s a really interesting perspective to explore. I’m glad they did! I also love how her scenes in episode one of MYM can very much read almost as a trans allegory. I myself am not trans, but my partner and quite literally ALL of my friends are, so it’s still quite meaningful! Plus, I’m someone who chooses to not go by her birth name due to CPTSD, so, from all angles, seeing her wish to be referred to in ways that make HER comfortable and having that be respected gives me the fuzzies. I love her relationship with Pipp too, and I find their bond to be so heartwarming! Portrait of a Princess is one of my FAVORITE episodes of MYM, and it’s just so sweet to see how much they care for each other! Also, slightly less relevant, but them getting their cutie marks one right after the other on the same day was very cute. Very CMC of them. Very Mane 6 of them. Very cute, very demure, very mindful. I hope people still say that, LMAO

All in all, I know G5 had plot holes, ever-improving animation, and a lot of things fans were displeased over. Still, these characters mean something to me, and, even if their story got cut short, they’ll always still be my little ponies. Thanks for listening to me ramble on if you read all this, I know I kind of turned it into an essay haha :”)

[antianakin]

@theneutralmime

I've gone over a lot of my thoughts on the sequels in my responses to the last two asks you've sent me about them, so I'm going to skip ahead to my thoughts on Luke at this point since I think my feelings on the Sequels in general are pretty clear. I'm glad you enjoyed them, but I've seen the entire trilogy through twice now and I WAS trying to be more generous the second time around to see if my opinion would change and it uh. Didn't. I still don't like them and I still find them a massive mess of squandered potential.

Luke's quotes about the Jedi in the sequels (which are really ONLY in TLJ, he never has anything bad to say about them in TROS) are pretty clearly intended to be seen as symptoms of Luke being traumatized and letting that pain and loss and fear consume him to the point that he's placing the blame on an easy target rather than actually acknowledging what happened and how he feels about it and the part he played in it. Luke in TLJ is hiding from his fears, hiding from his own reality, refusing to step up and do what needs to be done and face his own mistakes. So he turns to "the Jedi were weak and need to die" as a way of basically excusing the choices he's currently making. He's not RIGHT, the things he tells Rey aren't TRUE, and that's the whole point behind his arc in TLJ. His last words are to say that he won't be the last Jedi, and he's clearly not upset by that, he says it like it's a TRIUMPH, which indicates that he no longer believes the Jedi need to all die out. Even earlier, he's upset about losing the Jedi texts, indicating that even though he was arguing for the Jedi to die and about to burn them himself, he didn't ACTUALLY believe any of those things he said or want the things he said he wanted, he was just desperately trying to convince himself that he did because it was easier than doing the emotional work of facing what he'd done wrong.

I will say that I think this was a ridiculous and foolish arc for Luke to even HAVE, I think it's unfortunate that most of Luke's screentime in this trilogy is dedicated to him bashing the Jedi and blaming them for their own genocide, and I don't think that the storyline is handled very well in general. But the point of the story IS that Luke is wrong and the Jedi SHOULDN'T die out, so, you know, credit where credit is due here.

Getting into your question about the Jedi, though. I THINK you're asking me what the Jedi actually DO. Which, fair question, it's not something they discuss very much in the films or show (and the show is focused on them during war which makes it harder to figure out what they'd normally be doing during peacetime). I imagine there's a LOT of things the Jedi probably did before the war, it wasn't one job that they all did. But the general idea I got is that the Jedi work as a branch of the Republic Senate that can be called upon to provide aid like treaty mediation and conflict resolution for planets and systems that ask for it. I'll list off as many examples as I can think of where we see Jedi doing work that isn't related to the war in high canon.

In TPM, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are sent to try to NEGOTIATE with the Trade Federation about the blockade of Naboo, but they end up having to quickly adjust when the Trade Federation tries to kill them and sends in armed forced to INVADE Naboo.

Once that happens, their primary goal switches to getting Naboo's leader to Coruscant so she can make her case and plead for aid directly to the Senate because it just became a LOT bigger than two Jedi could actually do anything about.

In AOTC, it's mentioned that Obi-Wan and Anakin just got back from some kind of border dispute.

In TCW, Obi-Wan mentions that he spent a year on the run with Satine during the Mandalorian civil war, presumably called in by Satine's father to just... protect her until the war was over and Satine could take up peaceful leadership or something.

In TCW season 7, Trace and Rafa sort-of imply that the Jedi used to do a lot more work ON CORUSCANT to help poorer people on the lower levels.

Also in TCW, we hear that the Jedi once managed to basically overthrow the Zyggerian slave empire, something the Zyggerians still hold against them.

In TOTJ (if we choose to take that as canon), we see Dooku and Qui-Gon sent to help resolve a dispute where a senator's son has been kidnapped by his people (Dooku ends up siding with the kidnappers when he realizes why they did what they did and how corrupt the senator has become).

In AOTC again, we see Obi-Wan and Anakin act as bodyguards for Padme when an assassin comes after her.

We also routinely see the Jedi doing their own investigations that seem completely independent of the Senate, like Obi-Wan going off to find Kamino and Jango. When he makes his reports, he is clearly reporting directly to the Council, not the Senate or the Chancellor. During TCW, we see Plo Koon, Obi-Wan, and Anakin get involved in an investigation into the clones' creation and Sifo-Dyas's involvement in it and reported death, something that clearly isn't being run by the Chancellor or the Senate.

So what do the Jedi do? They keep the peace, whether that means acting as a temporary bodyguard for a planetary leader, taking down slave empires, or negotiating treaties and conflicts of varying kinds. Presumably, before Palpatine took power, the Jedi had enough time and independence that they were able to do a lot more work of their own that didn't necessarily directly involve the Senate, too, which could be anything from investigating corruption in the galaxy to providing aid and services to the poorer populations on planets in the Republic.

I don't think it's made clear whether the Jedi actively SEARCH for Force sensitive children or if they're just so established as a group that they're often MADE AWARE of Force sensitive children by parents calling for help somehow. That list they have of children is of presumably people whose parents have said maybe or not yet (rather than parents who have firmly said no) because I believe Mace refers to the holocron as the future of the Order. These are children who could potentially become Jedi or who are PLANNING to become Jedi but whose parents wanted to wait a year or something. This doesn't indicate to me that the Jedi actively sought them out, but that these were probably children whose parents sought out the Jedi themselves when it became clear their child was Force sensitive. We see something like this happen in TOTJ when Ahsoka disappears off with a massive wild cat and comes back RIDING said wild cat and the entire village is made abruptly aware that she's Force sensitive and meant to be a Jedi. If the Jedi come and confirm those suspicions, but the parents are uncertain or just explicitly ask for more time, the Jedi seem inclined to give it to them (up to a point, presumably, they obviously usually don't accept kids over a certain age so they can't wait forever).

The reason the Jedi have that rule about training children early is because the Jedi lifestyle requires certain sacrifices that can be difficult to adjust to if you weren't raised in it. For a lot of people, their friends and family are always going to be their first priority because they care about them more than any random stranger. And this is totally fine, this is natural and normal. The Jedi cannot do that, though. They can't prioritize the people they care about above their duty to the galaxy at large. This is the promise they make by choosing to be Jedi and it is generally incompatible with the promises you make to people like spouses and children (this is for a myriad of reasons like the amount of time a Jedi would have to spend doing work vs being with their family and the ways this would ultimately impact their relationships with people who are relying on them). The Jedi have to be willing to sacrifice the people they love for the greater good if it becomes necessary. And while the children who are raised among the Jedi can still ultimately decide this lifestyle isn't for them and walk away from it (and can do this at any age, even after they've made their oaths and become an adult), it's a lot EASIER to life this way if you ARE raised in it from a young age and don't already have a bunch of connections with other people to overcome.

This is why Anakin struggles so much. He was raised with his mother until he was nine and so he has this connection with her where the two of them were always going to be more important to each other than anybody else. That's just how that relationship worked and that's fine. But when he became a Jedi, Anakin had to stop thinking of his mother as more important than anybody else, and he CAN'T. He ultimately abandons his duty as a Jedi, his duty to protect Padme, in order to go protect Shmi because Shmi is more important to him than anyone else. Had Padme gotten assassinated as a result of him abandoning that duty, it could've had some repercussions for a lot of people, but Anakin DOES NOT CARE because Shmi is more important. And of course, we see him then make the exact same mistake with Padme herself after Shmi is dead. He prioritizes Padme above everyone else because he legitimately just CANNOT live any other way, he CANNOT not prioritize Padme more than everyone else, ESPECIALLY when she is his wife, and he ultimately is willing to sacrifice the Jedi, the clones, and the Republic to save her.

We even see him blatantly TELL Padme this in TCW where he says that ideals are important, but they'll never be more important to him than how he FEELS about Padme. He clearly tells Padme that he EXPECTS her to prioritize him as her husband more than once, something Padme usually TRIES to push back on but ultimately usually capitulates to. Even Padme ends up getting jealous and upset once when Anakin can't stay the night with her upon returning from the war because he has to go make a report to the Council. Padme and Anakin have clear expectations of each other as husband and wife that seem to be in contradiction to what their respective careers require of them that cause them distress in their relationship more than once.

Anakin struggles with this and my personal interpretation of Anakin is that he'd ALWAYS have struggled with this because he wants to be able to prioritize the people he loves, even before it gets to the point where he's willing to murder millions of people to do it. His desires are just incompatible with the way the Jedi choose to live, but if he'd been adopted by the Jedi before he was old enough to really make that kind of connection, he'd have had an easier time managing that because he just wouldn't necessarily have ever HAD those kinds of desires. He would've grown up learning about love and family in a very different way that would allow him to prioritize his duty to the galaxy because he WANTS to prioritize his duty to the galaxy and no one person would be more important than that. But in canon, Anakin WANTS to be able to prioritize the people he cares about, more than anything else this is what he wants. And he wants those same people to also prioritize HIM in return (it's one of the reasons his relationship with Obi-Wan is both one of his healthiest ones, because Obi-Wan refuses to do this and expects the same of Anakin, but also one of the ones most easily discarded and replaced because Anakin knows that Obi-Wan will never give him what he wants).

So yes, it's GOOD that the Jedi insist on training their children early because it helps them be better Jedi with fewer struggles, even as they always keep the door open for their members to make a different choice as they grow and change if this life isn't one they want to live still. It's why they let Ahsoka walk away after the Wrong Jedi arc even though they also brought her into the Order when she was young. Being raised a Jedi gave Ahsoka a really great foundation, but things changed as she got older and she ended up deciding she had to leave the Order, even if temporarily, to figure out some things for herself and manage her mental health. The Order was happy to support her no matter what she chose, whether she chose to leave or stay, and would've supported her if she'd chosen to return, too.

The Jedi take children whose parents give them up so they can have a better life, they take children who might not HAVE parents anymore, they take children whose parents don't WANT them, and they give them a wonderful supportive life that gives them incredible amounts of education and resources so they can live their life in service to the galaxy and the Force, using their abilities to help others. They provide the children they take in with everything they could need or want to be able to live a happy, healthy life, whether that life ends up being as a Jedi in service to the Republic and the Force or not.

There's also what's been called like a "call to destiny" that the Jedi have, where becoming a Jedi is, in some ways, a destiny for them to fulfill. But much like Anakin's prophecy, it is choice they have to make, not something entirely predestined and chosen for them. The path is THERE, and it calls to them, but they can absolutely ignore that call or misunderstand it or have circumstances keep them from it. But it means that nearly everyone who becomes a Jedi makes that choice because they hear and feel that call to this destiny and have chosen to ANSWER IT. Helping people, serving the galaxy, this is what they were meant to do, and they know it and find joy and satisfaction in that knowledge.

So when the war starts, they obviously know something has gone wrong, they've known it was going wrong for YEARS, at the very least since Maul popped up as the first confirmed Sith in 1000 years, but they are 10,000 people (and whether this number referred to only those Jedi that were in the field and the actual total was much higher or whether this was in fact the ENTIRE TOTAL of Jedi is unconfirmed, but either way they're a small group so the point remains) in a galaxy of TRILLIONS. People have done the math on what this would mean adjusted to the population of the Earth and it's like expecting a church group of 70 people to somehow solve the whole planet's problems. There's only so much they can do. So while they're very cognizant of the growing issues in the Republic even before the war starts, they can only put out so many tire fires at once. Once the war DOES start, they're immediately required to try to put out this one raging wildfire and all the other regular tire fires have to go by the wayside until the wildfire is dealt with. So what are they doing? They're putting out the damn wildfire as quickly as they can with as little loss of life as they can and just hoping the rest of the galaxy can keep itself together long enough for them to DO THAT.

I don't even necessarily agree that they should've been "more involved in politics" because, quite honestly, they seem more aware of how bad things are getting politically than ANYONE ELSE IN THIS STORY (aside from the dude making the situation worse to begin with). It's the JEDI who are actively arguing with the Chancellor about not sending them to war and saying they're not supposed to be an army, it's the JEDI tracking down Kamino and Geonosis and figuring out some of what's actually happening there, it's the JEDI who continue to investigate that even while the war is going on and actually figure out that the clones are a Sith trap, it's the JEDI who ultimately figure out Palpatine is too corrupt to stay in office and then actually DO something about it before anybody does. They might not be active politicians, sure, I'll grant you that, but they're very very clearly aware of what's happening politically and are responding to it more than anyone else we ever see. I'm not sure what more they could've done besides, like, BE politicians which clearly just isn't the role they want to play in the galaxy anyway and wouldn't be good for the kind of work they want to do.

A lot of people like to say things like that, that the Jedi should've been more political and whatnot, but what would that actually have accomplished? What could they have done if they were "more political" than they were already doing? At BEST, the Jedi might be able to get a representative into the Senate and provide one more person capable of speaking out against the Chancellor and the corruption in the Republic, but Padme at a delegation of 2000 Senators with her that were apparently willing to at least recognize Palpatine's corruption and that STILL wasn't enough to stem the tide. One more politician wasn't going to make that big of a difference. So could they have been more political? Yeah, sure, they could've more literally been politicians I guess, but how does that help them more than what they were ACTUALLY doing? Would this somehow have prevented Palpatine from enacting Order 66 or starting the war at all? Or would it have led to the same conclusion no matter what they did because the Jedi's genocide wasn't about the choices the JEDI were making at all?

[alianoralacanta]

Warning! Long post alert!

Thanks to @maybezax (Zax) for posting a clip on Twitter, showing several drivers crouching in exhaustion in the pit lane (not even in the shade, where this would make a bit more sense) after the 2024 Singaporean Grand Prix. It is one thing for drivers to put everything into a race, but it is unusual to see this many drivers collectively doing this at the same time. Indeed, the last time I saw this was Qatar 2023.

For anyone who doesn't remember the debacle that was Qatar 2023, the drivers were asked to race in a ridiculously hot and humid place, in cars that have to be driven with precision at high speed. It was a blatant safety issue, confirmed by multiple drivers reporting either passing out or neither do so in the cars, vision problems, someone vomiting and a driver having to be persuaded to retire (because one of the symptoms of heat exhaustion is not getting the signals to say one is ill until it the situation is severe).

- Not written names because names aren't the point here. This is about the general safety situation and anyone could easily have swapped reactions with another - or had other serious reactions - because severe dehydration is like that.

One of the ideas that was proposed was for F1 to pay attention to the wet-bulb global temperature for their location. F1 might not have adopted the idea, but it occurred to me to check, so we can see whether this was weather-related or a bunch of drivers simply went, "It's the last race before several weeks' break, let's put absolutely everything onto the track to end this phase of the season".

I've had a look at the wet-bulb rating for Marina Gardens (which I think is the closest weather station to the track that measures WGBT) and it had a wet-bulb of rating 35, or Black. This is above the Green-Yellow-Red rating Singapore usually uses for this purpose (red is for 33 C + and it is required in Singapore to offer 10-minute breaks every hour, to every worker in an outdoor occupation in these conditions https://www.mom.gov.sg/heat-stress-measures-for-outdoor-work/faqs-on-heat-stress-measures-for-outdoor-work ).

Exact readings:

S108 Marina Gardens Drive Temperature: 29.1 degrees Celcius Relative Humidity: 80.7% WBGT rating: 35 WGBT Rating: BLACK Time taken: 2024-09-23, Time 06:15:00, +08:00 ahead of the UK

(Please note that this is at the end of the night and the sun will only just have started rising. Usually, humidity drops during the night). If these drivers make it look like it was ridiculously hot and sticky out there… that's because it was.

Singapore has a Workplace Safety and Health Act covering this situation for employers and organisations alike: if the WGBT is 32 degrees or higher, and the job has to be done outdoors, every company must provide 10 minutes of rest to every worker (longer breaks are recommended above this, but aren't compulsory and I can't imagine the FIA jumping in to impose these). No exemption for sports appears to exist (there's a limited one for military personnel), nor is any other heat protection measure considered mitigation for this. The choices are:

1) Shorten the event to below an hour. 2) Postpone the event until WGBT is below 32 degrees Celcius. 3) Red-flag the race for 10 minutes every hour, starting the count from when the last marshal has had chance to get to the rest area following the last car entering the pits, and giving all marshals chance to resume their posts before resuming the race.

The race was longer than 1 hour. I did not see the FIA or the teams offer a break. (For those of you saying, "the drivers could have parked if they wanted to follow the law", the FIA is responsible for the marshals and they can't take their mandatory break until all the athletes are taking theirs, so mandation from the FIA and co-enforced by teams would be the only way to make this work).

Since the FIA has not obeyed this standard, it is now liable for every single issue that occurs from this. We know the F1 drivers struggled and they train for this exact scenario quite intensely. If any marshal complained to the Ministry of Manpower about this (and I would be surprised if all of them handled it better than the drivers), then the FIA would be liable, which in turn would make the teams jointly liable - even if everyone in the teams and travelling part of the paddock were OK with this arrangement.

It also underlines how important it is that WGBT is adopted before Qatar and the FIA and teams all be bound by it. I don't know what Qatar's laws are about WGBT, but it is unlikely that a F1 struggling with a Singapore that it's been to successfully for years prior to this would otherwise be equipped to handle a Qatar that it barely got away with last time it went there (on a less stressful calendar, with a FIA that was less complacent about safety).