#because it’s always in some way connected to our plurality

[404shcats]

Y’know if I’m gonna be homesick I’d like to at least remember what home was like -Party

[multiplicity-positivity]

Here’s some positivity for introjects who are connected to their source!

There’s no one true or correct way to be an introject - introjects come in all shapes and sizes, and may have a wide variety of ways in which they view their source! Whether a factive, fictive, faitive, objective, conceptive, songtive, or something else, it’s okay for introjects of all sorts to like their source of feel connected to it. If you’re an introject who is connected to your source, this post is for you!

❤️ Shoutout to introjects who identify with their source’s name, gender, pronouns, sexuality, or other identities!

🧡 Shoutout to introjects who kin their sources!

💛 Shoutout to introjects who identify with their source despite having never directly seen or interacted with it!

💚 Shoutout to introjects whose source is their special interest, hyperfixation, or one of their favorite things!

💙 Shoutout to introjects who roleplay or otherwise engage with the world as their source!

💜 Shoutout to introjects who are source divergent or who don’t identify much with their source, but are still deeply connected to it!

❤️ Shoutout to introjects who like being referred to as their source!

🧡 Shoutout to introjects who are tired of their relationship to their source being policed or dictated by others!

💛 Shoutout to introjects who distanced or disconnected from their source, only to reconnect with it later on!

💚 Shoutout to introjects who often feel ostracized or left out of plural spaces because of how they view their source!

💙 Shoutout to introjects whose relationships to their source are intricate, nuanced, or complex!

💜 Shoutout to introjects who go through phases or waves of feeling more or less connected to their source!

Introjects may not literally be their source, but that doesn’t mean they are morally obligated to abandon connections to their source altogether! Introjects can and often do have a wide range of opinions on or relationships to their sources! It’s okay for introjects to love their source or feel strongly connected to it. You’re still just as valid and cherished as an introject, a member of your system, and a member of the plural community just the way you are!

We hope every source-connected introject who sees this can have a lovely day today. Please treat yourself with the kindness and gentleness you deserve, and don’t judge yourself too harshly for how you view your source! Rest assured, you will always be welcome in our spaces without the expectation to change. Thanks so much for reading, and take care!

[igglemouse]

So I learn right away what Pascal meant that he had a new house...he meant it was bought and ready to be moved in the next day, just waiting! So, that very Sunday morning we move in and leave most of the old stuff behind, some of it will be coming over, but new place, new start, right? Yeah, so, it is a lot bigger, and I can at least confirm that the bathroom, the one connected to the master bedroom, works and although it is a new place we will have the same routines. I'm not sure if I've ever caught him shaving though, not sure if I prefer him clean or with a bit of fluff on his chin.

And the new kitchen is...well, look at it! It's a massive improvement and it definitely needs to be because a nice kitchen will always be my top priority. A whole island to work with, plenty of counter space, and just enough room to where I'm not accidentally bumping into anything. I can't wait to get settled into and make use of all my new space but for now, I'll keep things simple and whip up an apple salad because again, we don't have much here for today, so the new fridge is empty so it is a very keep it simple stupid kind of day.

The apple salad must be good because we absolutely tear right though it, leaving nothing in our bowls, and while it doesn't take much to make a good salad other than fresh ingredients I'm proud of it all the same. Pascal finishes a little after me and finally asks the question that he was holding back all morning. "What do you think about the place? Room to grow?"

"Yeah definitely! A lot more spacious," I reply and glance around. The dining room is more spacious too and I just love love love the window into the kitchen. This place is not a mansion but it is more than I could ever have imagined. I was just a poor girl from Selva who lived day by day.

"Yeah, its wider," Pascal leans back a little in his chair, clearly happy that I'm happy with his decision. "Room enough for Flora to run wild in, I hope!" and there is a sparkle in his eye when he he says that, pride? I hope so! I really do hope he loves her as much as I do.

"Are we already imagining her kick a ball around, then?" I tease, wanting to see how much of her future has he imagined. We all do it, don't we? See our children as future doctors or teachers or even world leaders, and it's good to see him doing the same. For my entire pregnancy there was this nagging feeling that I was carrying her all on my own but he has given me little hints that he's also invested. In his own way, I suppose.

"Just saying!" He laughs and shrugs. "Kids like to run around and that last place was more like a pad. Not enough room for children."

"You keep using the plural?" My brow raises and my voice is tinted with some amusement.

"Well..." he starts and I know exactly where he's headed with this. I brace myself for it, hearing the words before he even speaks them. "Another wouldn't be a bad thing, right?"

"No! Not at all!" I push out quickly but the surprise in my voice is clear. "I just...didn't expect you'd want another?" My head tilts as I take in the man before me. Has the birth of Flora matured him? Perhaps gave him a new outlook on life? He's always been so casual and indifferent that it does shock me that he's throwing around the idea of child #2 so easily.

"Why not?" he shrugs again as if this was always the plan.

"Because..." I hesitate because I do have something else on my mind. If we do have another baby will I be doing 99% of the work? Well, with two it would be double the work, wouldn't it? "It's not that easy for me, you know? You just ummm, you know, do your part and I have to bring it into the world and then I gain all this weight too and-"

"Oh no no no, I'm not saying now! I'm just saying, you know, whenever you're ready! I'm just putting it out there that I'd like it, you know, and if you need a fitness coach who better than me?"

"If it happens, it happens!" I settle on that for now because honestly, I don't want Flora to be an only child. As for the weight thing I Can only laugh. "Alright coach! Just put me on a diet and workout plan then!"

So it's decided, she will have a younger sibling someday, but for right now she is the precious only child. It's incredible how this tiny little girl with her little fingers and toes and hands and eyes and coos has already taken up so much of my thoughts, attention, and my love. She's my entire world and I will not rush through a single moment of this. I'll enjoy it all. Even the crying and endless diaper changing, they are all moments I will try my best to cherish.

I do catch myself thinking about Anthony, my 'dad'. Should I tell him about Flora? I could write a letter and let him know she exists I guess or does he even deserve to know? It's not like he'll ever meet her as he's going to spend his life behind bars. When I look at her little face and drown in her innocent eyes the idea of him being connected to her feels wrong. Why let the shadow of him fall over this bright little life? The past should stay where it's at, in the past, and she, my little Flora, is the present.

After feeding and taking care of Flora I dive right into working on my body. Pascal is here, of course, but he's not overbearing. He's keeping with his own routine which is some light stretching and yoga which allows me to lose this weight at my own pace and yes, I do need to lose it. The truth of the matter is, Pascal is who he says he is, a future superstar with the potential of being an all time GOAT, or so I'm told. This means other women will be throwing themselves at him and I admit to feeling a little insecure about my body right now.

This gym by the way is all in black because Pascal calls it the 'no nonsense' room. It's a work in progress, but so is everything in this house.

This house has sooo many rooms and thankfully it's more than enough for not just a growing family but for me to have my own media creation room. It too is a work in prgoress but honestly it means so much to me. If you recall, Pascal wants me to focus on being a mother and seemingly even discouraged me from working and so him having this room ready to go for me to pursue my new SimTube dreams shows that not only are we not going to fight about this in the future but that maybe he will support it as well.

I'm super eager to get started and so I jump right into it with my first video being about tofu tacos. Okay, yeah, that's not the most exciting dish to feature but I followed my gut and this is what I want to eat for tonight so that's what's getting cooked. It's also simple and its something I know very well and while it might not be the most exciting first video it's something. It's a start!

Hopefully, Ray can help me with a bit of a boost to get things going. I'm not expecting fame or fortune and it doesn't need to make me rich. I just want enough to say I cook for a living and I'm happy to share my passion with those who want to learn and watch. Explaining recipes and teaching a bit of my culture at the same time. It's a chance to create, connect, and cook, what's not to love?

But just when I thought I was settling into my new life and my new home and hopefully new routines a ghost of the past shows up at my door.

It was Candela. Yes, that Candela. The one person I never thought I'd see again and yet here she was standing on my new doorstep as if she were expected. I froze, taking a moment to take her in, the hair, the new tattoos, and that confident smirk on her lips. I knew then she hadn't changed much, she carried with her the same confidence and aura pushed off her her and...oh, I was staring and she was staring right back.

"Well?" she says, raising an eyebrow. "Am I going to stand out here all day or...?"

"O-oh, right!" I stammer, quickly fumbling and stepping aside to motion her in.

So I show Candela around the new place a bit but there really isn't much to see yet. Empty walls and bare floors, space waiting to filled with touch and love and memories and purpose. Pascal and I will make it a home but for now it's just a blank canvas. Still, Candela is impressed, nodding along as I point things out.

Eventually, we settled at the dining table, that one piece of furniture that is needed day one, and we start to catch up. It doesn't take me long to discover that a lot has changed with her actually. For one, she's married now, the ring on her finger evidence of that, and I try to picture it and hope that she has tied the knot to a better man than the last one.

So I ask about her story and she dives in and I'm reminded of just how complicated life is.

"You know, I slid right out of there?" she says, quietly, speaking of the moment both of our lives changed. "No one expected it of me, they thought I was devastated, manic, and I played the part well because I had to. No one could believe I killed him, of course, why would they? Everyone thought I Was obsessed with simoleons so why kill the man who was going to give me the good life?" She speaks so calculated, so pragmatic, so Candela, but there is some pride there in her voice. As if it was all part of some grand scheme.

Honestly, I do believe her. Candela comes off that way, you know? A woman seeking luxury and one who would not accept anything less. She's the kind of person who marries rich and not out of love because she can, because it is her right, and judging by the size of the ring on her finger I wonder about this new man she's tied herself to. She's not flaunting it, I should add, but still it sparkles with every movement of her hand, each glimmer a reminder of who she is at her core.

"What about me? A-anyone still looking for me?" My voice falters with the weight of the question as it is an answer I've always wondered about. I've pushed that fear away because its hard to live with that kind of paranoia and yet still...

"Your father played his part well too," she says, her tone soft now, reflective. "He made sure no one could suspect anyone else. Most people think he put you into hiding as retaliation or something, so they couldn't consider you. To most, you were just some lost girl, one among many, no one is looking for you."

"Oh..." I manage to say, caught a little off guard, all this time I had this fear that the past would catch up to me and it looks like it hasn't even started to search.

"You saved many lives when you killed that pendejo. Including mine. I owe you for that one."

"O-oh, all in a day's work I guess!" I try to joke, though it comes to shaky. "I suppose I should don a cape?" It's a dark joke, I know, but it's easier to deflect than dwell. I've spent so much time trying to ignore my past and try not to think on the night I killed a man even if it were in self-defense, but the weight of it lingers on me even now. I push the conversation to another direction. "So, you live here in Oasis Springs too?"

"It's not been that long actually," Candela says. "I was living in Ciudad Enamorada for a while but the hubby thought it better to leave that country entirely after the baby-"

"You are a mom too!?" I blurt out, unable to hold back my shock.

"You're a mom too!?!" she fires back immediately, just as shocked but grinning as wide as possible. The surprise in both of our voices clear but turns into a shared laughter.

We settle in, chatting about our children, and I learn quickly she has a little girl too! It's funny how the conversation shift into planned playdates. "You know, I don't even live that far away so that definitely will happen!" I am wondering how she found me but then I remember she had been trying to call me and so...I wonder what that is about but the idea of our little girls playing together is an idea I can get behind.

So umm...yeah...today was certainly a day. I love Candela, I really do, and if there is one part of my past returning to me it is definitely her...

Frida Varela - Next Episode 9.2

[glass--beach]

hey, just wanted to say thanks from the bottom of my heart for your recent posts 💜💜💜 im a transsexual system and i struggle to trust my perception of myself all the time. i'm always hearing that there are very narrow definitions for people like me and that i have to be careful not to describe or express myself in a way that pushes those boundaries lest i become a Faker or some kind of a Mistaker.

idk it's just a relief to know that there are some people i don't have to prove myself to. who will just take it at face value when i say that i can't be Just One Person but a multitude of identities that contradict one another and aren't necessarily compatible and are nonsensical. it's nice to know there are people like you who i don't have to be on edge with.

the euphoria i feel when i allow my alters to express themselves in the way that feels truest and most joyful is similar to the euphoria i felt from HRT and surgery. i am glad to see that people like you exist, even if strangers, who will just see our happiness for happiness, and who will not sound any alarms just because our happiness looks different to most people's.

<3 <3 <3

the more people i meet out there with different experiences the more i start to see patterns in how ideas of normalcy marginalize difference. i think a lot of people are uncomfortable with the way other’s perspectives can force them to question their own sense of self but it’s a feeling i do my best to welcome. i’m likely plural in some sense myself, it makes a lot of sense but is something i’m still figuring out, and i can at least say considering a different framework of self has given me new insights on my inner world & habits etc which has been very helpful and productive for me. i just can’t act like i’m an authority on anyone else’s internal experience anymore because i think that comes from a depressingly solipsistic worldview keeping so many people from genuinely connecting with others. glad you felt seen by my words

[pluralhottakes]

@cantmakeupmymiiind says: my hot take is that as an endogenic plural I hate how in hiding other endogenics are (because of harassment from anti-endos). I know a few endogenic systems say they are mixed origin just to not deal with the harassment and it's sad.

And it's not that endogenic systems are rare but even in the endogenic system tag, it is full of well meaning "I'm a traumagenic/mixed origin system and I support Endos" more than I see full endogenic systems. Which is OKAY, I'm glad and thankful for the support but I want to connect with other Endos because our experiences are similar, way more similar than traumagenics. And it also feels a few of those positivity posts still have that internalized "I'm traumagenic so I'm a REAL system" feel, like we should listen to them more and feel more appreciated because a REAL system supports us (this is specifically about those posts about Endo positivity that targets Endos, not those talking to/about anti-endos where your traumagenic origin would be appreciated). I'm not trying to say their support isn't appreciated, I just wish I could find Endos easier than just "Endos are valid" posts.

(also when I'm talking about Endos here, I am specifically talking about fully endogenic origin systems. I love my mixed-origin friends but I rarely see fully endogenic systems in comparison)

I also don't want to sound mean or ungrateful but I feel like it needs to be said. There's not a lot of proud and out Endos.

The thing is that anti-endos are mostly hateful, bitter and miserable that endogenic systems exist for other reasons than the trauma they had to suffer through, so instead of being relieved like "oh thank goodness you didn't have to deal with the shit I dealt with" they see it as a mockery of their suffering.

Personally, as a traumagenic system ourselves we see it that way. Now some endogenic systems do have DID/OSDD and that's because they later dealt with trauma after their plurality was known to them.

We don't look at endogenic systems who don't have disordered symptoms or issues because of trauma like they're a mockery of our existence as a system. As far as we are concerned, they're systems. And we wish they didn't have to hide because people want to be fucking hateful.

We want to see more endogenic systems honestly. The best way to counter hate is to put your experiences out there and tell people what it really is to be an endogenic system. These days on Tumblr, anti-endos are actually dropping in number, and it's always a good idea to block them and not engage when they spout bullshit, especially if they've made it clear they don't want to learn or drop the hate.

There are some out there with the worst takes and that just gets them a block from us. Like they even invalidate other traumagenic systems who support the existence of other system origins. Anti-endos are bad for everyone and that's why we don't like them.

We especially love hearing from endogenic systems on this blog so please by all means all of you send us asks. We will post them! And if you send them off anon and some anti-endo asshole decides to comment, they'll get blocked. Like we don't play with them coming for you all at all.

But I get what you mean. Wanting to find other endogenic systems is important as well.

[doin-just-fine]

hello! I’m not a system myself, but I’m doing some research for a friend of mine who’s questioning.

I was wondering if you could do a ‘the people wanna know’ about what different kinds of systems there are/how it can present, or something in that vein?

Thanks, love your stuff!

The People Wanna Know: System Types

Disclaimer: We are by no means experts in this at all. We are quite new to the whole being plural thing and there is A LOT to learn when it comes to plurality and systems, especially in types and "microlabels". These microlabels are VERY helpful when someone is trying to sort out if they are plural or not especially if they are an atypical system like us. They can make you feel validated and at home when previously there was fear and confusion. We also want to suggest that you continue your deep dive outside of this post! We hope you give you a launch pad into the complex world of plurality but do not let this be the end of the research! I will be using definitions mostly from Pluralpedia. Systemhood and plurality is very under researched so many of the labels you'll see are created by community members that are then adopted by the greater community. That all being said, as validating as these microlabels can be they can sometimes also have the opposite effect if they don't fit all the way. If you guys land on them being plural, we encourage you to leave the microlabels behind especially if those labels are close to their experiences but not quite accurate in all ways. 🛸I found when identifying specifically as a Median system, it lead to a few denial spirals because that label mostly fit our experience but not all the way or all the time which lead to us question our experiences making it harder to accept and understand ourselves. I personally find just calling myself plural or a system is enough and allows me the freedom to have my own unique experience as a human being with an atypical brain that science is only just starting to research and understand rather than trying to define my experiences filtered through a ill fitting label that doesn't change with me as we grow and learn. But, if you guys find a label that fits like a glove CONGRATS! Use it, love it, where it with pride!

ANYWAY, THE PEOPLE WANNA KNOW!

System Types

DIAGNOSABLE SYSTEMS (labels recognized by the DSM-V) DID OSDD 1 OSDD 1A OSDD 1B OSDD 2 OSDD 3 OSDD 4 UDD

None of those fit? Build Your Own System

I will be giving short definitions of each label. If you want more information each term will take you to a more in depth description.

ORIGINS (why the system formed) Traumagenic: Origins were trauma related. Endogenic: Umbrella term for origins that are related to something other than trauma, though trauma can still be a factor but not always. SUBCATEGORIES: (link to microlabels of the subcategories bellow) Created: Systems that were created intentionally for any reason. Adaptive: Origins that were related to trauma or other adversity. Spontaneous: For systems that seemed to just appear one day seemingly without cause. Unknown: A system who's origins are unknown, unclear, or still being sorted out. Mixed: Multiple origin labels can be applied to these systems.

CONSCIOUSNESS (how communication, conscious connection, and shared existence feels with in a system) Monoconscious: Shared consciousness between members where everyone thinks the same thing together as individuals. Polyconscious: Everyone in a system has their own thoughts and mind that are separate from each other. Hydraconscious: Everyone has their own thoughts and mind but in a collective consciousness. This may feel like everyone talking out loud about different things at the same time. Cephaconscious: When member are in or near the front together they have a shared monoconscious experience but when they are not in the front they have their own separate thoughts and mind. Mutoconscious: When member are in or near the front together they have a shared monoconscious experience but when they are not in the front they have a hydraconscious experience. SYSTEM SEPARATION (how individual are the individuals) Partitionary System: Individuals are very distinct. They do not share memories and often experience time loss. Median Systems: Individuals are less distinct and blend with each other more. These systems often don't experience typical amnesia. Blurian: Systems who share 100% of memories regardless of who's fronting. These system may also not experience Amnesia. (Edit: Here is some more resources for things that blur the line of plurality and systemhood ) Unrelated to the question but maybe to your situation here is a link to help questioning systems

I hope this was helpful let me know if you have any questions or need clarification!!

REMEMBER: You're gonna be ok. You're gonna figure it out. Be kind and gentle with yourself and others. Asks are open. Have a nice day.

[misscammiedawn]

I wanted to say thanks for that write up on the depiction of DID and Mr. Robot! You said everything that's been burning in my head for years now after watching. Hearing another system's thoughts on it was something we've been looking for.

Part of our inner world is also part of the NHM in London lol.

Truly and sincerely thank you.

First off, I am delighted to know that we're not alone in having the Natural History Museum as host to a segment of inner world. Would love to know which exhibit/area you see when you visit, though no obligation to respond. We know that these things can be deeply personal.

The show may not strike with every system but no two plural folx are going to have the same connections and attachments and comforts and that's 100% okay. For those who share our affection for Mr. Robot I am glad you get to enjoy the show and our ramblings on it.

Wishing you and your system well and thank you again for the ask. You've no idea how much feedback comforts and encourages.

Asks are always open.

-

Post the asker is referring to in the question, btw:

Also... have some random rambles about Mr. Robot in a readmore, because I feel like typing a bunch.

-

Also, because it gives us an opening to talk about it. Have some random Robot thoughts:

Mr. Robot is and remains my favorite show. I had started typing "our" favorite and got a sharp rejection so shall use singular pronouns. It has its issues, the use of the term "real" for instance, but with good faith a lot of it can vanish. Not all. But most.

I've been thinking about things a lot more since writing the essay and there are things I wish I had spent longer discussing. For instance during the portion where I wrote about how Coney Island represents a safety in nostalgia, a fortress for the Alderson siblings to hide in their treasured childhood memories; I didn't mention that both Trenton and Mobley use their own nostalgia as their hacker aliases with Trenton being where she lived when young and DJ Mobley clearly being someone Mobley found joy in at a younger age.

Similarly Hot Carla's name is selected because of a hair dresser who validated her gender identity and sheltered her when her parents were abusive. Whiterose's hacker alias is the last moment her life could have been the "good future" that she envisioned and worked so hard to force into reality.

I do like that pretty much every character who has an alias picks their alias as an identity forged in positive memories. Elliot clearly did with Mr. Robot being the store where he and his dad were friends and his other alias (The Gentleman) is a reference to The Careful Massacre of the Bourgeoisie, a movie he and Darlene watched every year that became the entire iconography for the fsociety movement.

If I were to ever do another Mr. Robot essay I think it would be on the way each character insists on living in the past in order to escape their present and how that relates to the way trauma invades the present. Not going to promise that, though. We're already snowed under with our Loop and Beatrice essays.

I think that can be one of the big failings of the show, actually, especially for those watching it as it aired. The show is deeply ingrained in the perspectives of characters who have critically distorted beliefs on reality and the show doesn't really start laying down objective reality until late season 3 after the cyber bombings.

Someone watching the show for the first time can watch Elliot's edgelord rants about "Fuck Society" and think that the show believes these things rather than its main character and we do not get the show delivering the message that it's small minded and childish (which, given that Elliot is stuck in trauma time and perpetually reliving a horrifically abusive childhood he cannot fully understand because he won't allow himself to remember clearly, is exactly what he is) until Irving and Price each spell it out to Mr. Robot in S3E7/9 or Whiterose outright calls Elliot on it in their final confrontation.

I adore the show for its patience and how it tells such an emotional and complicated story over its 45 hour runtime but I do understand people watching the first hour, getting the wrong idea about where the journey is going and opting out.

Hell I understand a system going in for DID representation and not having the patience to stick around the show's Fight Club pastiche era before starting to get to the meat of things.

But hey. I gave the show a shot and can't go back now. I love it too darned much.

Also because I don't want to start another thread on it, I do want to say that the show is truly frustrating in how it depicts economic collapse for society and yet none of the characters are ever impacted by it.

Darlene is homeless throughout the show, spare her stint living in an FBI safe house and she has no job through the show's run. She is never hurting for money, even when the banking system of the world collapses. She likely is stealing but it's frustrating that we only hear about the financial ruin in the periphery. We learn of the eviction of Elliot's neighbors spare for the kind older man who takes care of Flipper but Elliot himself can buy entire new computers on a whim and go months between jobs or spend a season in prison and not be impacted.

Like the show depicts the world going into a major decline during the economic crisis and it's clear by Season 4 that the show is venting frustration that when the banking system failed in 2008 the ones responsible were not harmed at all and it was the public who suffered and things just went back to how it was in time; it's just... every character is living comfortably in New York and Darlene is the closest we have to a "poor" character.

But that's a rant we have on every show. Poverty doesn't really exist in television. You watch a show like Ted Lasso and everyone is a millionaire. Even the Kit Manager (Nate, not Will) has parents who own a home, sent him to higher education and gave him private violin lessons. Kit Manager salary is about £25-50 per year, even for a Premier League Team.

...but my discomfort with how poverty is never represented on TV is just a random rant and I'm going way off topic.

I'll stop rambling now.

[sophieinwonderland]

I want to contribute a different take on the movie IF. I saw the underlying theme as the importance of forming a connection to the childlike wonder we all have as kids, how it can provide an inner strength. Hence the father always trying to encourage Bea to be playful. The IFs come back into Bea’s life because she’s afraid of losing her father, despite her insistence that she’s “no longer a kid”. She uses them to escape that reality. This comes to a climax when the reality hits that she really could lose him, that she is still a kid, and she still needs him. When she’s able to face reality, she stops seeing the IFs because she no longer needs the escape. However, that childlike wonder will always be a part of all of us, and we can all benefit from reconnecting with it.

Which isn’t to say I disagree with the plural take. That’s the magic of storytelling. We can all find our own meaning.

(Context)

I think that you're definitely right about the themes of the movie!

What I tend to focus on is more what's literally happening on the screen whenever I make my plurality of... posts. Because while the theme is about rekindling that childhood wonder, stories still want us to buy into the idea that these things are literally happening to the protagonists to some extent.

And that's the lens that I wanted to view it through. That everything that Bea experiences is either happening to her literally in the real world or is at least taking place within her imagination.

Stories, to the audience and author, can be metaphor. But they still are real within that narrative to the characters. Even a story told by an unreliable narrator is generally true to that narrator.

It's kind of like Inside Out. On one level, Inside Out is a metaphor for dealing with emotions and growing up. Most people in real life don't have little people in their heads representing their different emotions. (Though some plural systems do operate like that.) And the movie isn't suggesting that they do.

At the same time, the emotions within Inside Out are literally real within the context of the movie's narrative. Joy isn't merely an artistic representation within the narrative. She's a fully realized sapient person within Riley's mind. Same with the other emotions and entities in Riley's head.

Externally, they're metaphors. But internally, they're real characters and everything happening in Riley's head is actually happening.

So when I analyze Bea in IF, I'm trying to consider the events of the movie in a way that Bea could have literally experienced them.

The only exception is that I've just kind of ignored the ending because...

This part breaks away from Bea's perspective

It breaks the established rules for how IFs work in the rest of the film.

And it follows Bea's "what if" monologue that I think is meant to imply that those events at the end didn't happen and were more wishful thinking.

[antedeluvianbreedingtwink]

So, sometimes I'm hesitant to share things about my dysphoria, since I think a lot of people will glance past the Plurality and try to frame this as some kind of detransition. No hate towards people who do end up detransitioning for any reason, but that's a very different thing to my weird-ass deal, and I'm sure as fuck not reversing any surgeries when the most functional Alter and the earliest one we know of are both transfem still. Hell, we're even still planning to go forward with bottom surgery, and I'm not really even against the idea?

The issue I run into most is, well... boobs. We have D cups, with 420cc (seriously) implants, which makes it a hard to properly go dude mode now? I can bind, and I do it basically the moment I'm fronting, but it's really only flat when I double up on binders, and, uh... yeah, that's a quick way to remember which rib got dislocated once? I'm trying to be smarter about it- one binder and a denim vest to try and hide the extra oomph... but I have to unbind eventually, and it feels awful every time because our body is very, very feminine now.

I did have a peculiar dream last night, though. I was dating a guy (an OC from a story we were going to write) as myself in it, but the time to go to bed together came and I... still had breasts. Then, when I got uncomfortable, Dreamguy just kept referring to them as boytits, which led to me waking up briefly euphoric and confused.

I guess I was just feeling really dysphoric and someone acknowledging the boyness of my hongalongamogongas helped relieve it a bit? Maybe the idea that I could be in a relationship and still be acknowledged as a separate person was also weighing on me, since me and Kay (maybe even Alice?) have very conflicting sexualities and identities, and I worry things will either be too complicated, or I'll have to take a back seat.

I think my biggest worry, though, is... what fucking community do I belong to? Kay's obviously transfem, and even though I'm masc and AMAB, I'm not Cis? I'm still very much nonbinary, just heavy on the masculine side, but the people I connect with and get tips from are transmasc, and it just feels disrespectful for me to attach too much to that community?

I guess collectively we're genderfluid, but even that feels strange when we're different people, and I can't even recognize Kay's thought process most of the time?

I guess I'm just rambling because there isn't a short way to accept being plural and having to deal with conflicting gender identities on top of that. It makes everything way, way harder, but I do know things will work out in the end. I'm taking a crash course to make sure I know enough about Kay's major to hold down a job properly (without fronting and immediately crying because I have no idea how to do anything.)

Plus, y'know... there's always the option of being poly, or just dating someone with a gender ambiguous enough to appeal to a lesbian and a gay boy at the same time. Just as long as they know these are (at least when I'm fronting) he/him chesticles and they prefer to be called sir, damnit.

[rose-harmony96]

So like we are currently undiagnosed, and we experience a lot of internal doubts about our plurality. We would appreciate advice, affirmation, a reality check? Idk, something.

We are pretty certain that we are traumagenic but its not like theres some single event that stands out. We suspect we first started breaking around the time the world started to expect us to be a boy and by the time we were in elementary school we got bullied all the way into the game me and my friends used to play until it really did become real within me, the stories would run out almost automatically, my "character" was always at my side, growing, changing and evolving, eventually becoming twins and then there were all the supporting characters and even a layer of side characters, almost npcs? And like all of this, what we are calling the darkwater, thats where those of us who live up near the surface now actually grew up. The person that we used to be, the one who made the darkwater to begin with more or less got lost down there around the time things in reality went to hell around middle school, at this point those 3 years are a pretty huge memory hole save for a the friend who set off our queer/sexual awakening and the chunck of time around breaking our arm. Otherwise its just kinda loose, formless pain that we might honestly actually be able to dig something out of if we really really focused in but it hurts to try. Hischool at least we found our people, even met another plural person and immediately connected and felt less crazy. We openly explored a bit back then. Never really got into the depths of thr darkwater and all that but our(their?) Friends knew about a few of us at the time. In the darkwater, this was also the time that some version of most of us that live near the surface now started to form. Post highschool and anything that isnt us realizing that we are and freaking out because the male parts are smothering and supressimg the shit out of us is pretty blurry. Like i think we forgot about plurality as an issue for a few years there maybe or rather "oldself" was trying to smother us out or something. Then there was the first big mental breakdown/manic episode broke that deadlocked miserable fuck into the old dog and the lost little girl and like we were actually jade at the surface for a while there, not just calling ourself jade while oldself tries to numb it out but we were actually us, actually her. And like voices from the darkwater were coming. back, the scenes were more vivid... at one point in there we started listening to bambisleep and eventually bambi took root, going fucking nuts, and she ended up finding alex, who we figure was from that first split waaaaaay back when, (who had been the seed of an entire archetype whithin the darkwater). And like we were mostly bambi jade and alex for a while, more or less. Until another huge manic episode came blowing through and left jade totally shattered and our current family to pick up the pieces and maybe try to get out shit together?

And like our switching is pretty free flowing, we are all more or less around most of the time. A lot of the time we feel less like any particular individual and more like the collective will of the whole darkwater(?). We have huge holes in time and memory; but whats normal, whats drugs and like what even is amnesia. "I" have never experienced "getting thrown in the trunk" afaik but alex is pretty clear that she spent most of childhood "trapped in a box". We kinda like having our real family all together in one body and for some reason that feels invalidating or something?

This got long af and probably less coherent than we want but im gonna go ahead and post anyway, probably also send it to our theres once we get one.

-lilly, mostly i guess. Akiri as well probably.

[anendoandfriendo]

Actually, just while we're thinking of plurality and how its treated as a whole intra-community — we probably will not be able to put this elegantly, but we want to talk about exomemories and how they're treated.

People always treat exomemories as if they have to be like, some vivid thing that one can completely recall in its entirety. The problem is that...that's not how memory works. In the world of psychology this is not the only type of memory that happens. Memories can also be things like:

Unconscious habits and the unconscious steps required to perform those habits

General facts

The microseconds of a touch, smell, taste, or sound just after it has occurred

So, please, tell us why in the hell we treat vivid recall as the only "valid" form of an exomemory, if even non-plural memory is, to put it lightly, a complicated fucking mess of a concept.

Even within the episodic memory the vivid personal recall we talk about when it comes to exomemories would fall under, this specific type of memory is generally what is called a flashbulb memory.

Recalling the phantom of a touch, from someone's hand into yours, is an exomemory.

Recalling the last ruler of your country and nothing else is still an exomemory.

The flutter of the wind on your face is an exomemory.

Being able to write out a "fantasy" script with no clue on how you got that information, regardless of its readability to you, is an exomemory.

Being able to recall how a family member set their hair on fire or how you looked for an item for two days just to find it on a bookshelf is an exomemory, but so is the smell of smoke or the feeling of hard wood under your palm, if it is connected to a world outside of this one.

We dunno all, this is kind of what we are talking about when we say you can be pro-endogenic and still a sysmedicalist we guess? We should not always and constantly need to use an established phenomenon in order to state that people have been or can be shitty. The -med part in sysmed is -med for a reason, as opposed to like, anti-endoist!!

Plurality is certainly different in some aspects compared to being a singlet — but like, we aren't an entirely different species because of it. Unless you are all therian in your system, in which case, good for you! But singlets can also be therians so our point still stands. :v

We wish we had a better way of putting this. We don't, so all we can state is that we notice this stupid trend of people in plural communities just Isolating Themselves In Weird Ways.

On one hand, the assimilationism: plurality is only adjacent to being neurodivergent (even though neurodivergent means operating in a way that is non-normative, which plurality is); plurality is only adjacent to alterhumanity (even though alterhuman means operating in a way that is non-normative, which plurality is); plurality is only adjacent to being queer (even though queer means operating in a way that is non-normative, which plurality is).

On the other, the assertion that we ARE different, just, Not Like That, it's still an Acceptable Difference: exomemories for plurals are always a vivid recall (even though that's not how memory works at all even for non-plurals and is also what we suspect to be an effect of sysmedicalists defining exomemories as a "coverup" to Bad Things Happening when this is not always true for every system); everyone in a system either gets along all of the time or otherwise it's a disorder (even though in the outerworld people don't always get along and that doesn't always mean the people in an argument are suddenly disordered — it just means those people do not vibe well together); everyone knows everything about each other and there is no misgendering at all and everyone knows exactly which species everyone is other otherwise it's DID or OSDD (even though this is not how it works in the external world — mistakes happen and we can guarantee you that if you live in the US you do not personally know every single person down to their favorite restaurant if they live in like, Russia or India, and then also vice versa for Indian and Russian individuals).

When we say sysmedicalists are fascists. This is what we mean. And when we say pro-endos can be sysmedicalists. This is also what we mean.

It is not a disorder if you do not know everything about 500 people all at once. Being a big system is not inherently distressing or dysfunctional.

It is not a disorder to accidentally use "she" for your only other headmate who just came out and uses "he" as long as you apologize to your headmate and then do better next time, and make the effort to use "he" in reference to him. Being a small system is not inherently distressing or dysfunctional.

And just to be clear since this is Tumblr: DID and OSDD are not bad and are not a punishment or moral failing. This is specifically in regards to the bainaristic tendencies that our communities have. Everything is butterflies and rainbows or it's a living hell. The idea that disordered and non-disordered systems share nothing in common. The conflating of endogenic to non-disordered and traumagenic to disordered. That any and all disorder that ever existed is coded into the DSM and the ICD. That inconveniences as small as like, wdk, an example from us is needing hot chocolate every night to go to sleep — must be treated by professionals or it's not a legitimate inconvenience. All of it.

All of the binaries that permeate into our community like a fucking poison that we cannot seem to clear out from our lungs and our brain. It seeps into our skin and our home and doesn't leave. We don't know if it will ever leave. We feel like the community is fucking dying just as it's growing and maybe we're just paranoid and worried, but it's fucking seeing into our hearts and souls and then we cannibalize our own.

There can, in fact, be experiences within the realm of annoying but not ruinous when it comes to plurality and we are sick of the community treating this as if it is not true, even implicitly and unintentionally. We are in general agreement within this system (even if we don't agree in how exactly) that this really, REALLY needs to be examined at some point by the systems who claim to be inclusys.

------------

♤♤ anendoandfriendo ♤♤

~ Art from picsart ~

[A sparkly signature image. The background is the endogenic system flag, recursigenic flag, and protogenic flag. The endogenic flag has the treblesand on it. Amber from Genshin Impact is on the left side of the image; Cinderella from Disney's Cinderella and Aquamarine Hoshino from Oshi No Ko are on the right side. The words "They/Them (pl.)" sit in the bottom corner of the image.]

[crystalsenergy]

the Importance of Respecting the Plurality of Connections to Spirituality

Spirituality = plurality, diversity, and respect

In summary, Spirituality is pure Love. When we understand this, we come to realize that it is not up to us to define the best path for others' connection. The connection of others will always be established based on what they have carried with them for a long time.

Similarly to what happens with religious intolerance, when we are talking about spirituality, I also see a prejudice and hierarchy in the practices of those who are involved in Holistic Therapies and Spirituality.

Often, I have seen and still see people in the field of holistic therapies and spiritual connection conveying the idea that there is a "better" way to connect. Or that it is not possible to use more than one technique in their practice, as it would create a "confusion of energies."

This even comes from teachers, passing on such ideas to their students, who are often having their first contact with the holistic universe. Let's see...

Spirituality is one.

And frequently, in practices of Multidimensional Therapy (a holistic therapy that accesses other dimensions), we see masters coming together.

For example, when we come into contact with techniques that work with the energy of more than one master, such as Saint Germain, and at the same time, Master Jesus, and even Archangel Michael, we are not talking about "mixing energies" because > it is us who insist on putting things in boxes <.

We are the ones who seek labels and stereotypes.

They are autonomous, independent. They work exactly where it is needed according to their energy, vibration, and mission.

Here in the 3rd Dimension, we vibrate in the mental realm more than anything else. We want to rationalize things, believing that it is the same there. The mind is connected to the Ego. And the Ego is limited and sees things from specific perspectives.

So, when you come into contact with spirituality, try to dissolve your mind.

And please, let's try to convey less the idea that spirituality discriminates or is selective. Spirituality is one, and the doorways to connect with it are infinite...

So let's respect DIVERSITY and work on our limiting beliefs about connecting with spirituality.

If a person wants to work with more than one technique, that is their choice, and there is no need to speak of "mixing," but rather a wider range of keys to connect with spirituality. A broader range of opportunities.

Another point I feel is important to bring up is that not everyone needs to follow your path or exactly what YOU SAY should be done. Be careful of the Ego's arrogance and closed-mindedness. The Universe is so vast, so multiple, that we shouldn't limit the experiences of others - or our own!

If one vibrates with the energy of Love, why limit it? If one vibrates with the energy of seeking greater awareness, why block it?

Work on your limiting beliefs about Spirituality and what it means to connect with it. We respect your time, your process, but we also need to bring this idea to you.

The connection of others will always be established based on what they have carried with them for a long time. We don't know about our past, let alone others'. And if the being in front of you has a deep connection with Reiki and Radiesthesis at the same time, but has a stronger affinity for the former, there is no problem for that being to connect through both techniques.

And if we are talking about a Soul that has been accumulating knowledge from past lives and has a connection with various techniques. What do we have to do with that being's connection, which might also involve Angels/Archangels, Radiesthesis, Reiki, Radiant Tables, Tarot? What do we have to do with it?

Is there really such a thing as needing to use only one technique? There is no greater or better. There is what EACH ONE needs at their current stage of evolution.

Some still need to connect with much more certainty, having a link to spirituality through their rational mind. Here we encounter certain paradigms and barriers that can sometimes be present, but the connection still exists, and that's okay.

Others are much more open to spirituality and have an easier time dissolving the Ego/rational mind, logic, and Cartesian thinking when connecting with something greater. And that's also perfectly fine.

Some people have a deeper connection to spiritual aspects like magic, pacts, contracts, obsessions, and are drawn to working with their removal or study. And that's okay too.

Others prefer to work on harmonizing relationships or individuals. And that's okay as well...

And then there are those who want to work with many things, people who integrate a broad knowledge and awareness that there is much more than just one facet. They understand that life is not two-dimensional or three-dimensional but rather MULTIdimensional. And it's perfectly fine for these beings to work with whatever they choose.

We are not the ones with some kind of power or sufficient knowledge to approve or disapprove of others' connection practices.

Remember: we are here to EVOLVE. And if something bothers you so much in someone else's practice, look inside yourself to see if there's something to be worked on in that exact area (e.g., "I'm bothered by the subject of negative magic, obsessors" = I have a limiting belief about this and need to improve exactly in this area, open my mind to this point).

Similarly to what happens with religious intolerance, I also see a prejudice and an imposition of hierarchy or the right way to perform practices, or one Holistic Therapy being better than another.

Often, I have seen and still see people in the field of holistic therapies conveying the idea that there is a "better" way to connect. Or that it is not possible to use more than one technique in their practice, as it would create a "confusion of energies." This is a subject that should be approached with caution, without letting it turn into judgment and the hierarchization of techniques. Energy is almost one and the same. Spirituality is one. We don't need to define one single way of doing things.

And this even comes from teachers, transmitting such ideas to their students, who often are having their first contact with the holistic universe. Let's see...

For example, when we come into contact with techniques that work with the energy of more than one master, such as Saint Germain, and at the same time, Master Jesus, and even Archangel Michael, we are not talking about 'mixing energies.'

They are autonomous, independent. They work exactly where it is needed according to their energy, vibration, and mission.

It is us who insist on putting things in boxes.

We are the ones who seek labels and stereotype.

Here in the 3rd Dimension, we vibrate in the mental realm more than anything else. We want to rationalize things, believing that it is the same there. The mind is connected to the Ego. And the Ego is limited and sees things from specific perspectives.

So, when you come into contact with spirituality, try to work on dissolving your mind.

And, please, let's try to convey less the idea that spirituality discriminates or is selective. Spirituality is one, and the doorways to connect with it are infinite...

So let's respect DIVERSITY and work on our limiting beliefs about connecting with spirituality.

If a person wants to work with more than one technique, that is their choice, and there is no need to speak of 'mixing,' but rather a wider range of keys to connect with spirituality. A broader range of opportunities.

Another point I feel is important to bring up is that not everyone needs to follow your path or exactly what YOU SAY should be done. Be careful of the arrogance of the Ego and closed-mindedness. The Universe is so vast, so multiple, that we shouldn't limit the experiences of others - or our own!

If one vibrates with the energy of Love, why limit it? If one vibrates with the energy of seeking greater awareness, why block it?

Work on your limiting beliefs about Spirituality and what it means to connect with it. We respect your time, your process, but we also need to bring this idea to you.

[multiplicity-positivity]

We were just fakeclaimed by our own mother.

She was our safe person — but she thinks our system is just the Host putting on masks as a form of escapism. We discovered the system pretty recently (two, three months ago maybe? Bad with time.), and the Host’s imposter syndrome has been pretty bad, so much so that a new protector formed just to deal with that.

But now…? We barely know if the system is real. I mean, the two alters that have been here the longest; they’re here, they’re real, we know that. But the rest of us…? We’re not sure. Even the aforementioned protector is distant now. We don’t know what to do. Do y’all have any advice? Words of encouragement? Anything? We’re not sure what we’re looking for with this. Partially to vent, partially for help.

(Couldn’t think of any way to search for any specific comforts or advice for this, it’s weirdly specific, sorry.)

Thank you.

Hi! We do have a post that may be very useful for y’all. It focuses on dealing with denial, which is a very common issue for many systems:

We’re so sorry to hear that you’ve been fakeclaimed by someone so close to you! It’s an unfortunate reality for many systems, as multiplicity can be a very difficult thing for singlets to understand. However, just because your loved ones may not understand or believe in your plurality doesn’t mean that you’re not actually plural or a system!

As far as some specific advice for y’all, we’d say to give it some time, and try to focus on affirming yourselves and seeking internal validation rather than relying on validation from others. At the end of the day, you know yourselves and your system more than anyone else! It’s better to spend time building connections and communication and let that tell y’all everything you need to hear about whether or not you’re actually plural.

Of course, we are always more than happy to provide validation to anyone who wishes or feels they need it. But ultimately, we do believe that affirming and validating yourselves can do so much more to strengthen your resolve and identities as plural.

We hope this helps! Best of luck to y’all with whatever your future holds.

[ghost-of-a-system]

Sorry if this is weird to ask, im a questioning system but ive been having trouble finding ways to understand myself & about others in my possible system, and i also have aphantasia, do you have any advice? (/notpushing)

not a weird question whatsoever! this may be lengthy so i am going to add one of those "keep reading" things to prevent a whole novel on someone's feed, lol. hopefully it works.

trying to determine whether or not you're a system can be a very long, slow, and frustrating process. for us it took years, and we are still learning new things all of the time, it seems. i don't know if you mean to also ask for advice on determining that, so i'll leave it out, but feel free to reach out again if that was something you were hoping for too.

because of that slow process, it's unfortunately not so easy to try to find out what works for you, especially when you have aphantasia, and, i assume, no vivid-interactive inner world, like other systems. (since we can't exactly just walk around and interact with everyone like we, i assume, could there. /lh) it really is just a process of trial-and-error, trying things and seeing what works, and what doesn't.

we have personally found that we learn best about ourselves and each other through fronting. it is a little broad, but, when we have no inner world or "place to go" when we aren't fronting, we only really have the ability to connect to and explore ourselves when we are fronting. the same goes for learning about others in our system. we personally have OSDD-1b, and do not experience "blackouts" or memory gaps like individuals with, say, DID, would. we have a fairly consistent train of memory, although events do get kind of fuzzy after they happen (within hours). because of that fuzziness, it's not always easy to just remember things about whoever was here once they're gone.

we personally like to use Simply Plural (the app, but it has a website too). it's an app for systems to log who's fronting and make "profiles" for each headmate/alter. the app is handy for many reasons but we personally enjoy how it lets you add "custom fields" such as names, likes, dislikes, etc. virtually whatever you want, hence the "custom". this allows us to be able to list things about ourselves on our personal profiles, that both us and others can look at or reference later. if something like that isn't an option, old-fashioned journaling could always work just as well for logging information about yourself. we just personally find Simply Plural more easy since we carry our phone basically everywhere lol

like all things, that can be tricky, especially for headmates/alters who do not front often, or at all. we have had alters like that in the past, ones who practically never fronted. unfortunately, we were sort of just left in the dark about them, or never even learned their names. we only ever knew they existed for the few moments they seemed to pop in. it can also be tricky if you do have blackouts/memory gaps, or if you have alters who just don't want to log information about themselves, even if it's private. we unfortunately don't have much advice for that, since the first is something we don't have experience with and the second is sort of a just, "can't really force them to do what they don't want to, i guess", unless you co-front with them or are able to learn enough about them to do it yourself.

sorry for the long post. it's easier for us to add details to get our point across rather than summarizing. hopefully it made some sense.

[orange-orchard-system]

Uh, hi. Really odd timing but I'm a different anon to the last one lol

I was wondering how you guys discovered you were plural? Referring to myself with us/we pronouns and just as plural happens subconsciously often and I sometimes find myself as different "personas" with different preferences, names, and slight memory weirdness. But I can't tell if that's plurality or something else going on. Or maybe I've just completely placebo effected myself. Cause the personas feel like different people but also me and I've never been able to like, talk to them.

Idk, been trying to figure it out recently and you told the previous anon that they might benefit from seeing if they're already plural so I was wondering. How do you actually do that?

That's a great question! It wasn't one single moment for us, but rather a series of discoveries spread out across our system, so the answer of "how did [we] discover [we're] plural" is actually a number of different things. That said, the story we usually tell – since it's what led to us being semi-openly plural – involves the Gift Basket, one of our sidesystems. To make a long story short, one of our headmates discovered that there was something odd about the way "he" acted sometimes, like someone else was just pretending to be him, and he suspected he might be part of a system. He began to reach out to this possible other headmate by flinging thoughts out into the void of our brain with the intention of talking to whoever was there, because it was the best idea he had on how to establish internal communication. Thankfully, the other headmate in question received the thought-speak, and the two began to talk. Over time, they connected with other headmates, too, and established a small internal network before talking with other systems and exploring online plural spaces, learning more ways to communicate and finding motivation to keep practicing. Those efforts allowed us to grow into the system we are today.

What you describe does sound a lot like plurality. I listed a few suggestions for figuring out if you're plural in my previous ask post, so I'm going to explain them in more detail.

See how calling yourself plural feels. Does it feel right? Would it explain things that other words don't? If you described yourself with other explanations or terms, would it feel like you're missing something? Try calling yourself plural for a few days and seeing how you feel. You don't have to do anything special, just go about your days under the suspicion that you're plural and see if anything changes or stands out to you. Does anything you previously brushed off now make (more) sense if you explain it as a plural thing?

Keep track of shifts in your identity and preferences. Essentially, a basic form of switch tracking. Every so often, ask yourself a short list of questions about who you are and what you like. What are your pronouns? What's your favorite food? What's your favorite color? What do you think of X? Etcetera, etcetera. If patterns emerge, such as always thinking ice cream is the best food ever while using she/her pronouns and your favorite color is yellow, it's likely that these are headmates and not just personas.

Practice talking to any headmates you might have. If you feel like anyone might be there, try flinging thoughts out at them! Or try assigning each persona a symbol or something and try holding conversations in a notebook you have. If it feels awkward, that's okay – it often feels strange to reach out to others in your head for the first few times. Since you seem to be having some trouble with internal communication, maybe try out external communication for now, like journaling or recording videos where you talk to any possible headmates you have. And remember, it's not necessary to be able to hear your headmates or speak with them internally to be a system.

Again, what you describe sounds a lot like plurality. But I'm not going to say anything for certain, since I think that's something you have to decide – or find out – for yourself. I hope this provided a good starting point for that. If you have the time, I'd also recommend going through the masterpost I mentioned in my last answer post; while aimed mainly at tulpamancers, some of the resources in there may help you, too.

[goldmanguyperson]

Please don’t send me donation asks. They won’t get posted here. I’m really sorry, but I want you to know that your time is better spent with someone else.

(post features potentially triggering and general uncomfortable content under the manifesto section)

I might sometimes post musings about sexual ideas and i will be horny on main sometimes, but i will always tag it properly. Under the tag “18+”. i also have exclusive tag “#gold goes crazy on main” that you can blacklist if you dont wanna blacklist the more general tags for your own reasons. i also have an NSFW Tumblr account under the name veganvore (i just think the name is funny, sorry vegan vorers). i will block accounts that do not state that they are an adult over there, which reminder, will also prevent me from seeing your stuff

I try to tag for commonly triggering content but i sometimes forget for stuff like bugs because i simply dont find them scary or upsetting. if you really cant handle seeing a bug at any capacity then my blog probably isnt for you. I consider bugs in less scientific context to be all of pancrustacea, but i tag spiders separately because some people fear them uniquely, and i do not tend to tag for crustaceans such as shrimp or crabs because discomfort around those is less common. I tag very plainly; I do not use cw or tw, I just flat out tag the thing as itself. i also try to tag for all animal death and dead animals, including bugs and fish (which are tagged separately because i know not everyone reacts to dead bugs or fish the same as mammals or birds or reptiles)

I do not tag syscourse as syscourse anymore because I get too many people who I don’t want to speak to when I do. replacement tag is #really stupid shit you dont wanna see

If your dni has an identity that i identify with on there then know i am not not interacting with you out of respect, i am not interacting with you because you are a fucking asswipe. Be a better person. People who believe they know more about me than me, or use trauma as an excuse to be bigoted and stay bigoted, do not have my respect.

Liberal blocker

intro post for NERDS!

im gold just call me gold. Or, my other names include tank and any model/(appropriate. none of the bigoted ones) nickname of tank, plane, or nuclear bomb (aside from fat man or little boy or enola gay for hopefully obvious reasons). i will respond best if it is very clearly directed at me or is one of my favorite vehicles/bombs: tsar bomba, kv-1, molodets, locust, chaffee, whatever whatever

my pronouns are he/him (normal caps), He/Him, and HE/HIM. i stole pronouns from god and HIM from the powerpuff girls

trans and gay full of autism adhd yum

im a shapeshifter otherkin. I am othervague for all these things (swings between kin, hearted, and link): birds, machines, and ‘pedes (millipedes and centipedes). am werebear; this is not a physical identity, i just much prefer to use the “were” term for it rather than otherkin, as it feels much more correct. But really, i can be anything. i have experienced a whole range of nonhuman stuff, cuz shapeshifter. if i post in a more specific tag know i am not attempting to like… invade, or anything. i mean for one i think thats stupid and for another i do actually be feeling that way

Russia place/countrykin. not a putin supporter or even a nationalist; Слава Україна. more connected to the land and its “memories” than anything else. if this confuses you please read my post: Nationalists do not love their country

i am plural. im fuckitgenic. you dont get to know how traumatized or not i am, cuz i dont even fucking know either. I don’t even think it’s that relevant. I am because i am, we are because we are, trying to look back into this life to see why it turned out this way is, in our opinion, just not fucking worth our time.

You probably wont see my headmates here as they struggle to form words for outside use, but you still might.

headmates you might see include:

The Eagle (he is a bald eagle)

The Nothing Beast (a big jet black dromeosaurid-like monster with back spines. actually quite nice. speaks in all caps)

Sputnik-1 (introject of the satellite). Profile is @satellite-one!

Bear (a spirit bear. might come off a bit mean. Bear is often just trying to protect us, but Bear also struggles with friendly or respectful communication)

Bat (We don’t know much about him. he hides away a lot)

Alan @amcomputer

if you start complaining about “uehhh but i have to know if youre traumatized to know how valid you are!!!” im going to skewer you like a shrike. we do not take kindly to prescriptive labeling.

i am posic (Perception of Object Sentience, Individuality, and Consciousness). I don’t believe objects speak to me and i dont believe they are externally alive, but i feel like they should be. it happens especially with military vehicles and nuclear missiles. when i look at them i feel a similar sense of life i feel when i look at an animal. is it weird? Oh yeah. It is. i have thought about this a lot and i can expand on it in another post if wanted.

im also objectum and conceptum tbe american flag is my boyfriend im sorry… I hate the government and i hate borders and i understand it would be better for countries to not have influence over material reality and all that shit (i am an anarchist. winning) but countries as a concept beyond reality are really important to me please understand. nationalists hate him (me) actually

carrd (mentions nsfw topics)

neocities (wip)

tags

#shut up! the eagle’s talking! - essays and personal experiences

#this is chrome ball radio - My headmate Sputnik’s thoughts and feelings.

#gold goes crazy on main - mentioned above. though not actually just plain horny stuff, more for musings that may be sexual and have to do with me personally and I GUESS I LIED!!! ITS HORNY

#and that eagle? well. hah. It was me - just stuff about eagles. Any kind. i love eagles

#falconer hood experiences - Dreams that i have. theyre crazy. you will want to read

#first past the posting - USpol. Some of it isnt totally USpol (first past the post, the namesake, is a pretty prevalent issue in plenty of modern day democracies), but i live in the US so it’s what im probably thinking about

#galaxies of valleirkro - My spore stuff. Many permutations. Species will be tagged #valleirkro (species name), for example #Valleirkro Zoxun. Characters will be tagged their full name, such as #ikli-kit keletet.

#M.A.D. or Mutually Assured Destruction - Sentient country stuff that got out of hand and now is basically sci fi alternate history about learning to love each other and rise up against the powerful people and ideas keeping us apart. Characters will be tagged #M.A.D. (character name), as they only have a single peopley name. For example, #M.A.D. Maximilian. I do not tag them as the countries they are if I have a name for them, mostly because I don't want confusion when speaking of them in the same breath as the actual country. if you want to know which is which, do not be afraid to ask - i usually try to choose names that are of cultures and languages in the country, but I know not everyone is familiar with other languages, and many names are found across multiple cultures. Curious about what the fuck the ‘canon’ i keep talking about is or why not all characters seem to act in a way you’d expect? read this post.

#gold's Starmen - Characters that can traverse the multiverse. Characters are mostly of the species Arvien; flat-faced bird people (yes made out of a desire to try to get away from the country stuff. i know yes, it did not work. but now i have a whole new world so it's cool). Species get tagged as #Starmen (species), for example #Starmen Arvien. Characters get tagged their full name, for example #Zakul Kuzarus. Sometimes exceptions are made for characters that do not have a "full" name. They instead have their species name after their name, like in #Ihsek Xek.

manifesto (sort of like a dni + its opposite but i actually explain things to ease my anxiety and autism) if you dont wanna read this thats fine but dont be surprised when i say something you dont like lol

Almost anyone is welcome here. But if you believe that you know more than other people do about their own identity then go away. Disgusting shit. Begone

that being said you cannot change your race. racial emotional limbo should only belong to people who are mixed race. You can find ways to participate in another culture without being the race often associated with it. many people would be much happier to show you their culture if you weren’t trying to identify as the race associated with it. Begone

I cant believe this is something that needs to be said anywhere but if you are an apologist for imperialism, capitalism, or authoritarianism, or are otherwise a supporter of any of this shit, fuck you. USSR, Russia, USA, China, Israel, Nazism, whatever i dont care. they all suck and you shouldnt be trying to blanket excuse them. Begone

go away if you indulge in zoophilic or pedophilic content. hope it’s obvious why. indulging in lusting after real ass living beings who cannot consent is fucking weird as shit. Begone

transage is fine. its not about pedophilia, that is a 4chan smear campaign cuz they thought it was fucking weird. it is about age regression and trauma and that kinda shit, idk, just read up on chronosian identity or something if you want. Also the things we associate with certain ages are more often than not socially constructed and so like idk, fuckin whatever dude. Begone

if you think age regression is bad then you do not know what it is. it is also not pedophilic in nature, it is often about comfort and often is a trauma or anxiety response. Please research and talk to real people before assuming something is bad just cuz it sounds weird. Begone

mspec lesbians are cool. “contradictory” labels are cool. my (real physical person) boyfriend is every letter of the queer alphabet and every person who hates a contradictory label will face our combined wrath. Begone

medicalism die begone. scientists do not know everything and often even science itself goes against “medicalist” beliefs. Minds are actually super crazy and weird and science understands this. If you are happier, or more at peace, and more able to understand and work with yourself because of a label and the support that comes with it then it is a good one.

^ includes “not supporting” endogenic systems by the way. Begone

creating headmates is fine (i think most of my headmates were accidentally created) but tulpa terminology is based upon a pretty heavy series of cultural appropriations of Buddhism (have you ever heard of “chakras are connected to your organs”? yeah. thats not true. thats a western idea that comes from the kinda colonial concept that we can force an eastern religion into the originally western conception of science as almighty truth that everything must tie to to be considered real by anybody, and the western idea of tulpas are mainly from this version of buddhism). Asian religions and cultural practices are already a really big target for western cultural appropriation, maybe we shouldn’t add to that, okay? i mean i wont tell you to go away like i have for the others here. and i actually wont tell you that its absolutely not okay because this is a pretty complex little cranny of reality. but i do ask you to perhaps be a little more conscious of how this stuff all connects

it is okay to be wrong

bangalangadooda