#I don’t think any of my headmates have anorexia
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Y’know if I’m gonna be homesick I’d like to at least remember what home was like -Party
#ventish#tw vent in tags#I’ve been feeling really bitter as of late#probably doesn’t help that some of the only stuff I can remember from my past is my shitty childhood#kind of hard to ignore when I get flashbacks that send me into a nervous breakdown every time I get close to crying#I hate it#so so much#all of it#not to mention my eating disorder is a constant pain in the ass#and i don’t know what to do#I don’t think any of my headmates have anorexia#so they can’t help me#and I can’t get help from externals cause singlets are too hung up on whether or not I exist#and it seems like other systems just want individual headmates to shut the fuck up about any issues they have and pretend they’re singlets#so what the fuck am I even supposed to do#how is it that I’m in a body with 50+ other people and I feel so alone?#I need help#i really do#but this isn’t something where I can pretend to be a singlet#no mental issue is#because it’s always in some way connected to our plurality#like almost everything else in our life#and others just can’t see that and it feels shitty#y’know back in the zones I was always seen and not heard#bl/is whole propaganda around me was that I looked different and was too ‘revolutionary’#people (in bat city) never cared about what I said just what bl/i said I said#and now it’s the opposite#people hear me but they don’t fully see me#they see a singlet I never wanted to pretend to be
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