#because if I didn't come from such a good family I would likely ended homeless

[subiysu-chan]

The more I know

The more I study history, the more I just...Cringe at how much the thought of "teenagers care about peer perseption because they are spoiled and shallow" rings false.

Because, historically, people cared about their honor to an obsessive degree. Until the day that thanks to a scammer, I ended up unable to eat enough ! That was the only period I was borderline obsessed with dignity, and cared about how I'm perceived. It was emotionally easier for me to skip meals than to beg, so I skipped meals.

Food for thought.

[jasntodds]

Burial Plot [J.T.]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Summary: Jason thinks back on memories of your relationship

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, angst, mentions of injuries, self-deprecating thoughts (jason), mentions of previous homelessness, mention of addiction (not jason or the reader), mentions of blood, character death, open ending

Words: 8,451

A/n: Dayseeker dropped Replica and Burial Plot really did something for me (again). If you wanna be tagged in my fics, you can click the link below, send me an ask/comment, or follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!!

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The cold Gotham breeze nips at Jason’s cheeks as his hands grip the ledge of the roof so hard the solid concrete almost wants to collapse at his feet. The streets are busy below him, the streetlights and buildings illuminating the otherwise dark and gloomy city. Something here manifests and metastasizes into something cruel and unusual, a type of suffering that almost brings the city pure and unfiltered joy. It’s something about this city that feels unbearably cruel sometimes.

Gotham always felt like it was filled of poison with no antidote so maybe that’s why Jason always managed to find himself back in the dreary city.

It’s how he always saw himself, drenched in poison, ruining everything around him even when he desperately tries not to. It’s as if he was cursed from the very beginning and the more he tries the more he messes up. Even coming back from the dead didn’t seem right since even Bruce wanted nothing to do with him. It took him so long to even get into the family’s good graces again because even when he would try his hardest, it always blew up in his face. So, to Jason, there had to be something wrong with him.

But, then, there was you.

Jason remembers the first time you had a proper conversation. You'd met a handful of times prior but never really talked past the usual pleasantries. Dick had asked for your help on a mission even when Jason insisted they had enough help with the other bats and a few of their tag-a-longs. But, Dick insisted.

----

“Red Hood.” You’d snickered through your mask as you watched Jason on his stomach watching the building in front of you through binoculars.

“Something funny?” Jason quipped back with a gentle force of annoyance.

He could do this himself. He did not need to be teamed up with anyone and he had no clue why of all people, he was teamed up with you. You didn't even know each other. At least Jason knew the other bats and their ability and capabilities. You were an unknown factor in this even if he trusted Dick's opinion on you. He knew he could do this himself...in peace and quiet.

“Irony.” You’d stated back. “Red Hood. Joker. Boom.” You shrugged dramatically, earning a glance from Jason. You couldn’t see it through the helmet, but if looks could kill, you’d have been dead on the spot. “It’s not a very threatening name.” Your voice was nonchalant it made Jason want to groan for ten minutes.

“Excuse me?” Jason shook his head.

“I mean…Red Hood." You stated again, just as casually as before. "Not very threatening for a guy who decapitates people and blows people up.”

Jason moved the binoculars from the helmet and looked back at you. “Okay, so what would you have suggested then, huh?” Jason questioned and he’d have been lying if he said he wasn’t somehow both annoyed to hell and back and also, a bit intrigued about where you’d go with this as you knew anything at all about him.

“I think it would have been hilarious if you kept the Robin mantle actually.” Your voice had been airy and filled with amusement as a smile reached your eyes.

Jason had to bite back his own snicker. “Don’t think anyone would else would have.”

“Well, that’s cause they have shit senses of humor. I mean if I hear Dick say one more pun tonight, I think I’ll have an aneurism.”

“Yeah.” Jason lets out a chuckle this time and you felt as though you had won something from it. “His jokes are the fucking worst.” Jason almost groans through the helmet. “But yours aren’t much better, princess.” Jason stated before picking up the binoculars again to go back to watching the building.

A genuine smile came over your features. “I know.”

Jason's eyes had softened when he’d glanced back over at you. Something about how you held yourself during the stakeout, the ease of the conversation and you bringing up his death. He knew your fighting style, knew about your powers. He knew what you could do and how well off you were and how you were able to perfectly handle yourself. But, the ease of you held yourself on that rooftop was as if everything else were going to be easy for you even if it wasn’t. It was interesting and a bit fun.

“How’d Dick rope you into this anyway?” Jason had asked as he kept his eyes on the building.

“I had nothing else to do.” You laughed softly.

It was true. You didn't and Dick asked. His jokes might be bad but he was always one of your best friends so you'd always help when he asked. But, it wasn't all that big of an ask when Dick mentioned Jason would be helping, too. Maybe you had asked to be teamed with him instead of Steph or Tim this time.

“How about you? Dick said you don’t do the team thing very often.” You asked.

“Had nothing else going on.” Jason had chuckled softly. “If Dick was asking me and everyone else, I felt like I had to help." Jason stated even if he didn't really mind helping out his siblings.

“That’s nice of you.” You’d said.

“It’s nothing.” Jason keeps his eyes on the building you were supposed to be watching.

It’d be a lie if you said you weren’t the least bit intrigued by your friend’s brother. Dick talked about him often enough. You knew stories about The Red Hood. Jason Todd had almost seemed interesting from your perspective. The misfit son who gets brutally murdered and comes back to be, somehow, more of the misfit troublemaker that pisses everyone off. Hero turned anti-hero (you’d refused to call him a villain). It was tragic but he still comes back and instead of deciding to make innocent people suffer like most other people would do if they were him, he decided to just do something about it. Maybe his methods are a bit extreme and maybe he’s a bit of an asshole, but he’s doing something for the greater good. That’s not all bad and you’d always thought that was still better than him doing worse or doing nothing. You’d always thought that made him more interesting, more admirable.

And, maybe it doesn’t hurt that he’s kind of pretty with the blue eyes and white streak of contrast amongst the rest of his black hair.

“So…” You cleared your throat.

Jason looked back at you and then back to the building. “What?”

“Are you always so broody?” You asked bluntly as you moved your eyes back to him.

“I’m not broody.” Jason snapped. He was not broody, he was just busy.

“Kind of are.” You’d smiled with confidence.

“We’re supposed—“

“Blah blah blah." You waved him off because you knew exactly what he was going to say. "I know. We are. We can do the stakeout and get to know each other.”

You were not bad company. But, you were blunt and talkative. Jason didn't really know what to make of it, really. This small conversation had shown him that you would ask and say whatever crossed your mind and he has learned that is not always a good thing. Though, your bluntness and how casual you were about the whole thing was a bit intriguing. This was a job, however, and Jason did not come to make friends with Dick's friend.

“Who the hell said I wanted to get to know you?” Jason had snarked back.

“Ouch.” You huffed as you started feeling a little disheartened. “That was mean.” Your nose had scrunched under your mask.

“Look, princess, we’re on a job. That’s all it is. Don’t take it personally.” Jason shook his head and he didn't intend to hurt your feelings but this was supposed to just be a job.

“You can't me princess and one minute it sounds fine but condescending the next. That’s weird. And the job doesn't have to be boring. Doesn’t silence ever bother you?” You’d asked and it was that question that always irked him.

It’s silent a lot for him. He’s used to it but silence is still deafening. Since getting into the good graces with the family finally, it hadn't been as bad. There was usually someone calling him or something he needed to tell one of them. But, silence can eat at him still. It bothered him, just not on a mission or a job. Silence there was always fine though he didn't think that was entirely the point of your question.

“I’m sorry.” Jason muttered. “I’m not trying to be an asshole. Just wanna get this shit done.” He hadn’t looked back at you once.

You were still intrigued by him. You still wanted to get to know him even if he didn't want to get to know you yet. It wasn't some secret Jason was guarded. That was fine. It didn't really bother you. So, maybe it was dumb then but you decided to just go for it.

“Wanna grab something to eat after then?” You asked bluntly, getting Jason’s attention.

“What?” Jason asked quickly as he turned his head to look at you again.

“Like food?” You quipped. “You and me. Food, get to know each other.” Your voice had sounded a little more nervous this time.

"You actually want to get to know me?" Jason questioned. "Thought you were making conversation."

"Well..." You shrugged softly. "Yeah, conversation but I also want to get to know you. You seem fun." You'd managed to pull off a cheeky smile with your last sentence.

Jason had actually laughed. “I seem fun?”

“Are you an owl?” You quipped back as you matched his laughter. “Yeah, Red Hood seems like he’d be fun." You urged. "Get food with me.” You shrugged softly as hope echoed into your eyes.

Jason almost said no. Lately, he regrets not saying no. He should have. He swears left and right, up and down, every piece of him should have just said no. But, he thought you were pretty and funny and interesting. It’d been a while since Jason just got to know someone. He thought it would have been nice and you had so much hope in your eyes, he wasn't sure he could have mustered up a no if he really tried. There was something about you that made him interested enough to just get food. That would be all it would be. Just food. A no was never going to be an answer.

“Fine but I pick the place.” Jason stated before he looked back at the building.

You’d beamed from under the mask, a rush of heat coming to your cheeks. “Okay, Red.” You nearly laughed. “I trust you.”

----

Jason's legs are trembling and it's getting harder to breathe. It is as if his own memories are strangling him from the inside out, a desperate attempt to suck the life out of him one last time. He used to look at that night with a sense of fondness, almost nostalgia because of how far the two of you had come in three years. But, now it's just tainted memories haunted by the vision of you and the false concept of Jason Todd being allowed to be happy.

He remembers so vividly you telling him you trusted him as if it were somehow something so easy for you. You trusted him and you barely knew him. Jason knew then Dick likely told you some stuff about him, Steph, too probably. Maybe the other bats if you ever asked but under no circumstances should you have just so blindly trusted him after meeting him a handful of times, this having been one of the only actual conversations you had. But you did and something about it made Jason both want to jump off the roof and fall right onto the concrete below him and make his heart melt from his chest.

He thinks about it for just that single second, it was nice. It was a silly thought, he swears it was. No one should trust him because people trust him and then they get hurt, right? That’s how the story goes. In one way or another, they get hurt. Maybe it’s Jason doing the hurting in his typical self-destruction way or it’s worse. But, they get hurt. You trusted him and he thinks that’s the exact moment he should have evacuated. That night changed everything because he didn’t. He didn’t evacuate like he had all but been trained to do. He went to get food with you.

----

“So, tell me about you, Jason Todd.” You had grinned wickedly at him as you pointed a limp french fry at him from across the booth.

Jason shook his head as he leaned back. “Like what?”

“Dunno.” You shrugged and the grin never left your face. “What do you like to do for fun?” You asked so sincerely Jason had burst into a fit of laughter.

It echoes through the small diner. Booms off the booth and the glasses. You’d thought it was the most beautiful sound you’d ever heard. His nose had scrunched and his head tilted back. The laugh was hearty and somehow soft. It fit him so well and he seemed so genuinely happy.

“What I do for fun? That’s what you want to know?” Jason quipped back as he caught his breath.

“I’m sorry that question wasn’t up to your standards?” You had laughed back and Jason felt his heart skip a single beat.

“No, not that. Of all things you could ask though, that’s what you want to know?” Jason asked.

“Well, yeah.” You’d answered easily. “I know what you do for a living. So, what do you like to do when you’re not doing that?”

There was something so honest and sincere about how you’d asked, Jason almost felt comfortable laying it out. His interests are his and in a way, he always likes keeping them a little close to his chest. Some things he doesn’t tell everyone but others…it’s okay that they know but they’re his. But you were eating your fries, just waiting, filled with hope.

“I like to read.” Jason stated simply as he plucked one of his fries from his plate.

“Oh! Like what?” You asked with eyes wide as you put an elbow on the table to lean in. Dick said Jason was guarded so you didn’t think you’d get too much out of him tonight but you were so relieved you got something from him.

Maybe you’d had a crush on him from a distance for a while.

“Uh..” Jason offered an awkward chuckle. “Like Jane Austen.” Jason shrugged. “Mary Shelley.”

You shook your head in surprise. “Not what I expected.”

“Yeah, yeah--” Jason had started to wave you off.

“No, I mean, I dunno. Thought it’d be like…Godfather-type books. Or something.” You were the one who offered an awkward chuckle that time. “I love Frankenstein.” You'd said it softly with a tender smile and Jason felt relieved.

Jason had asked you what it was about Frankenstein you liked so much and you just went on a whole ramble about it. Jason hung onto every word as if your voice was the sound of his favorite song played on repeat. He just...listened and something about the way he smiled made your heart jump and spin. You may not have had the excessive amount of trauma Jason did but...there was always something that felt comforting when someone let you ramble and he did. Not once did he seem bored or disinterested and then you got to watch his face light up when you asked him why he liked Jane Austen and what his favorites were.

It was Jason's turn to ramble and it wasn't much at first but the more he got going, it was like the more excited about it he got. His face lit up like a Christmas tree and he got a little more dramatic and he relaxed a little in his seat. Jason didn't get a lot of chances to really ramble about his interests, not like this. But, you gave him that in the little diner booth and it felt comforting. It felt nice. It was fun and he'd have been lying if he said he didn't really enjoy it. And the more you asked about his interests and participated in conversation, the more comfortable he felt.

He was still guarded but you shared some interests so it felt easier to let the conversation go where it wanted, bouncing back and forth between some of both of your favorites and hobbies. It felt good to let go for a few hours. You wanted to get to know him and as it would have turned out, he was really enjoying getting to know you, too.

“What else do you do for fun?” Jason asked as he rested his elbow on the table, now a few hours into this getting to know each other thing.

“Ask broody men out to get food.” You’d laughed that was more of a snicker as if you were proud of yourself for the comment and it got Jason to chuckle right back.

“Oh, so I’m just a meal ticket tonight?!” Jason had asked with sarcasm.

“And a conversation!” You had defended, the both of you laughing.

“I am so hurt.” Jason had said it dramatically, easily.

“Oh, I am so sorry.” Your eyes had widened with sarcasm. “How will you ever recover?” You faked a whine, a hand over your heart and then Jason gained this smirk.

Jason knew it was getting to be early in the morning and you'd have to end this whole thing soon but that did not mean he didn't want to continue getting to know you. You were right. This was fun and maybe he liked your company after all. He liked how easy you made this whole thing seem. No part of him really wanted this to end so he decided to go for it, just as you did.

“What are you doing Thursday?” Jason asked bluntly.

It caught you off guard and it took everything in you not to burst at the seams. You hoped Jason didn’t notice.

He did.

“Uh…” You stuttered with a gushy smile. “Nothing, I don’t think.” You bit the inside of your cheek to try to calm down the smile while you failed miserably. “What’d you have in mind?”

----

Tears are hot on Jason’s cheeks as he remembers that night as if it had just happened. His teeth are clenched so hard they might just shatter right through his gums. His breathing is quick and everything starts to ache.

You had been so happy that he asked you to do something with him, he never thought twice about taking it back. The thought could have crept up on him and he would have shoved it into the darkest corner of his mind because the idea of disappointing you nearly shattered him. He didn’t even know you but there was hope and kindness and sarcasm and you were funny. You didn’t care. You told him Red Hood was not scary. You looked at him with kindness and hope, two things most people do not look at him with and he felt important for those four hours in that booth with you. So, he decided to take that risk.

Risks are a part of his daily life. They are usually calculated and you had told him they were not always calculated in a way that was really all too beneficial to him. The odds were never on his side very often. But that’s just part of the job, something you did understand. Jason was used to risk. His whole life had been one risk after the other just to survive. He was good at taking risks and showing them he didn’t care. This was a risk he wishes he never took though. Showing you these parts of himself and finally letting his guard down. He regrets that risk because he had just done what he always does and wouldn’t have caved about it, none of this would have happened because you would have given up. He bites his tongue as he remembers the exact moment he wanted to flee and decided not to.

----

You were on a rooftop in Crime Alley, not too high up and below you, Jason was kneeling in front of a few kids. You were not spying on him. You were supposed to meet up together while you were in Gotham, this was the spot but apparently, the kids had other ideas. He was just kneeling down to their level, no helmet and a smile beaming back at them. The two kids who couldn’t have been older than seven, looked at him like he was their hero. Jason was not the scary Red Hood who blows people up with c4 or the guy who will decapitate people to get what he wants from other people or the guy who might as well be a sharpshooter and is not afraid to display it. They do not look at him like a weapon. They look at him like he will protect them and he is so kind.

You’d been on a few dates over the last few months, nothing too serious even if neither of you were looking or talking to anyone else. It was nothing too serious even if you both talked nearly nonstop and maybe you couldn’t stop thinking about each other. But, it’d only been a few dates and you didn’t know each other too well yet and that was okay. But, something you had learned was that Jason is very kind. He is a huge asshole but he is so kind. Innocent people, kids, he is nice to them, far nicer than most people are. Jason Todd can and will kill people but he is not as ruthless and calloused as other people think he is and maybe have convinced him he is. So you had sat on that rooftop and watched him with those kids.

He laughed at what you would only assume were bad jokes and Jason never let the smile fall from his lips. It was just the two kids at first then there were five and then ten. He somehow had gathered a group of kids who were just interested in meeting the Red Hood. One of them had a scraped knee so you watched as Jason pulled out a bandaid from his tactical belt. You couldn’t make it out but you did see it was purple and black. He spent an hour just entertaining these kids before they finally decided to disburse.

“Kids, huh?” You had asked once your feet were on solid ground.

Jason quickly turned around, a quirked brow raised as he looked to the roof. “How long were you watching me?”

“Well, I’m never late so…” Your mask covered your smile but he could tell by the way you looked down and the crinkles by your eyes you were smiling. “You’re different with them.” You stated, blunt as always.

“Well, they’re kids so….” Jason said, unsure what your point would have been.

You nodded. “Yeah, I mean…kids…the, uh, the homeless, sex workers, addicts. You're different. You’re different with people here.” You pointed it out because you'd noticed before.

This was your third time in Crime Alley with Jason and he was always different here. It was always rooted in an understanding and a genuine kindness and empathy for things people have dealt with. He never treated someone differently because of their circumstances and instead, he fought for them. You'd seen your fair share of people being cruel to kids and the homeless, sex workers, addicts, the poor. Jason just isn't. Jason gave you a little more faith in humanity.

Meanwhile, Jason could never wrap his head around your bluntness. You never cared how something sounded or how it came off. You just said what you were thinking. That scared him. And made him feel at ease. He knew he would never have to question your intentions but he also had absolutely no idea what you were thinking.

“Grew up here.” Jason pulled in a breath as he rested the helmet on his hip. “I know what it's like.” Jason admitted and it was a small sliver of information he gave up willingly.

You had nodded softly. “Yeah, uh…Dick said you grew up here. Shit was hard for you until Bruce caught you.”

Jason had let out this sort of scoff that was almost a chuckle as he looked up to the sky and then the right. You couldn't tell if it was something bitter in him that was turning or something pleasant. You'd have put your bet on something bitter if he'd asked.

“Yeah, something like that.” Jason looked back to you, shifting his weight.

Dick had warned you to be careful. It was not to be mean towards Jason by any means. It was more because Dick knew Jason tended to push and self-sabotage things. He wanted you not to pry too much too quick. You knew you’d likely have to ask him direct questions if there were things you wanted to know but you knew not to pry too much. You didn’t want to scare him off but it’s been a few months and a few dates and you were curious about it. You wanted to know what made Jason Todd, Jason Todd.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” You asked and you were cautious, something you never really were when asking him things.

Jason had hesitated for a second. It was not a secret. He just prefers to not talk about himself and there was a little bit of something bitter thinking about all of it. Thinking about his life in Crime Alley brings back to him meeting Bruce and then dying. It brings him back to coming back and the way Bruce looked at him like he were a monster before throwing a baterang at his neck. It was the way Jason couldn’t figure out why they couldn’t just forgive each other. It brings back bitterness and pain he can’t quite explain. But, it wasn’t all bad and if he were being really honest, he kind of really liked you. Maybe he could tell you some things about it. You'd yet to give him any reason to not tell you so he decided to take that risk and let you into a small part of his world.

“What’d ya wanna know?” Jason asked before he put the helmet back on.

“Uh…” You weren’t sure if he’d be okay to talk about it so you were unprepared. “Whatever you wanna tell me.” You stated simply as you closed the distance between you.

“Well,” Jason cleared his throat. “It wasn’t all bad.” Jason managed a chuckle before he started telling you things about growing up here and things about his parents, helping you better understand him as a person while also allowing Jason’s trust in you to grow.

----

He stands on this rooftop, desperately begging to go back in time and take the risk back. He wants to fall back to three years ago and rip that night from the both of you. You will be disappointed but that is significantly better than this. Jason swears it is better than this. He can not have you. That is fine. You will do better, you will find better, you always deserved better. He wants to go back and take everything back.

His hands are gripping the cement as if that’ll send him into the past and it only makes his chest feel like it might split open and spill his heart out. He'd dig his own hand into his ribcage and rip his heart from his chest if it would fix any of this. Jason's hands shake with his grip and he would do anything, sacrifice anything he could just to go back. He wants to take it all back even if it’ll hurt you because he remembers that time you told him you had a crush on him.

----

“How long?!” Jason had scrunched his face, confused and insane amused.

“Like a year.” It was more of an awkward giggle that you let out. “I don’t know!” You threw your arm out dramatically, almost regretting telling him. You knew he would be teasing you forever over it now.

“You’ve liked me for a year?” Jason chuckled. “Fucking why? You didn’t even know me!” Jason repositioned on the couch, resting his arm on the back of the couch as he faced you.

“That was part of the fun!” Your eyes had widened as you defended yourself. “I don’t know. Something about the white streak of hair and broad shoulders and…” You pulled in a breath as you shook your head at him, more to try and tease him. “I don’t know. I thought you seemed interesting.”

Dick introduced you at one of the Wayne party things they had at the manor. You were so nervous you could have died right then and there. It really was something about the white streak of hair and the broad shoulders, the thick thighs, and the way his eyes were so damn pretty you could have combusted. His canines were a bit sharp so it looked like he had tiny fangs when the sun hit them just right. Jason didn’t say too much but you thought he was pretty. And you caught glimpses of him throughout the day, laughing with his siblings and rolling his eyes at Bruce and helping Alfred with some of the food. He was big and tall and a little intimidating but not when he was just existing with his family and you found that interesting. The crush went from there.

“Was this before or after Dick told you about me?" Jason had raised a brow, still trying to fathom why you were so interested in him without having had a single conversation.

"After." You answered simply. "He told me all of your stories pretty early on into the friendship. Got to hear all about the kids of Bruce Wayne and company." You stated with a soft smile.

"Why then?" It was a genuine question he had. "And why didn't you say anything for a year?" Jason probably wouldn't have said anything at all if it were him but he's surprised you waited so long since you never seemed to hide any of your emotions.

"I wasn't sure how you'd feel about it." You laughed softly, looking down for a second before looking back to him. "I didn't see you often, thought maybe it'd fade but it did not." You scrunched your nose as your smile grew. "But, uh, I don't know. Dick told me you died and how and…that you guys didn’t get along to put it lightly…since you came back. At first. You were all good then now but it took awhile. But then I meet you and…” You shook your head. “You didn’t seem…mean or…threatening. I don’t know.” You could feel the heat start to burn your cheeks.

You had only heard the story from Dick's point of view at that time. You've since gotten Jason's side but only hearing Dick's was different. There was anger and a sense of betrayal even if it wasn't rightfully placed. It was as if Jason being brought back brought back all of their guilt and grief, too but they never had any way to deal with it. They didn't know where to put it so they put it on the person that caused it, in a roundabout way. It wasn't right and it wasn't right what Jason was doing either. It was just a mess of miscommunication and the inability to move on. Dick spoke fondly of Jason by the time you met, but he told you about all of it so despite his kind words about Jason, you thought maybe he'd be a bit mean and cold and broody and intimidating. But he was not. He was warm and kind and he looked happy. You found it interesting that after everything, Jason was not a cold and cruel person.

“Hey, you can’t go around saying I’m not threatening.” Jason had given you this teasing grin. “You’ll ruin my rep.”

You let out a snort. “Didn’t you just save like a litter of kittens from a car, gave the driver the dirtiest look I had ever seen, and then wouldn’t leave the shelter until they told you they would be fine? Did you not just do that two days ago? Did you not call today to check on them?”

“I’m sorry, should I have let that dickhead hit the kittens?!” Jason asked in horror.

“No!” You let out this laugh that Jason nearly melted into. “I’m just saying, it is not me saying you aren’t threatening. It is going to be those kittens. They’re gonna tell all the other kittens and they’re gonna show up here and then you’re gonna have beef with Selina. I don’t think that’s something you want.” You shrugged casually, trying to withhold your own laugh.

Jason’s booming laugh consumed his entire apartment. “I did not realize saving those kittens would have such a butterfly effect on my relationship with Selina.”

“Shut up!” You groaned as you tossed your head back.

“Okay can we go back to you having a massive crush on me for a year?” Jason eyed you with big doe eyes, mocking you.

“I hate you.” You deadpanned.

“No, you don’t.” Jason pulled in a breath as he gained a giant smile. “Because of your crush on me.” He batted his eyes at you and you wanted to kiss the growing smirk right off of his lips.

“Yeah, I hate you actually. You suck.” You crossed your arms and gave him a fake pout. “My feelings are hurt and everything!”

Jason chuckled before he grabbed your hand from your arm. “I hurt your feelings?” Jason questioned with disbelief, knowing damn well he did not.

“Yes, you did.” You struggled desperately not to break into a fit of laughter as Jason pulled you into his lap.

“You look really hurt.” Jason nodded his head sarcastically, his eyes looking up at you and you thought you'd melt into him.

“I am!” You said it dramatically as a laugh slipped from your lips.

“Right.” Jason nodded his head, his hands coming to your hips. “I am so sorry, could you ever think to forgive me?” Jason questioned with so much sarcasm, you thought he’d start to lose his composure.

“I don’t know.” You answered with a dramatic pout.

Jason let out a laugh. “Your big ole crush on me won’t let you stay mad at me.” Jason leaned toward you, his eyes dodging to your lips.

“You are insufferable.” You stated quietly.

“Sure.” Jason muttered before his hand came to your cheek and pulled you in for a kiss. “So insufferable.” Jason muttered against your lips.

“Just shut up and kiss me.” You rolled your eyes and Jason did not waste a single second more to complete the request.

----

Jason remembers how happy it all was. You were like this beam of light in his life and for once, it didn’t seem so damn grim. Half the time, he didn’t care if he came home or not. But then you started dating and he fell so hard for you that he didn’t think he’d ever stop falling. And suddenly, there was this big reason to come home every night. The loss of him for you would hurt, even if it were momentary. And…he liked being able to come home to you on weekends when you'd stay in Gotham. He liked having someone to come home to. He liked being happy and having a reason to be happy.

Half that time he didn’t care if he came home or not and that caused its fair share of fights. Jason's breath shakes in the cold breeze as his chin quivers, remembering the fights you'd have about it. There were never many because you just didn't fight. Jason would sometimes push and pull, try to sabotage things and you always just called him on his shit, rarely ever even raising your voice at him. But, these fights happened because you cared about him and Jason didn't know what he was supposed to do with that. He was never entirely sure if he could carry it even though you became one of the most important people in his life. He thought you'd leave, maybe, until the last time you fought about it. As tears spill from his eyes, he remembers the last fight you ever had about him being careful.

----

“Why the fuck are you mad now?” Jason groaned from the bathroom as he cleaned up the first aid supplies.

“I don’t fucking know, Jay. Why the fuck would I be mad?!” You yelled back, storming through his apartment. Everything felt too tight, too hard, too much.

“If I knew, I wouldn’t have fucking asked!” Jason yelled back as he followed you into the living room.

You didn’t normally fight and if you did, it was small stuff. Not this. This felt big. It had scared him because as much as he loved to push, he didn't want to lose you. It was never about him, it was always about you deserving better than him or deserving more. But, he almost felt paralyzed at the thought this fight wasn't going to be like the others. He thought you'd finally had it.

“Maybe that’s the problem.” It was more a mutter but Jason was close enough to you not that he heard it.

“What’s that’s supposed to mean?” Jason questioned and he could feel his heart breaking into pieces through his throat.

“Maybe you should fucking know why I’m pissed. But you don’t. Did you ever consider that is the problem, Jay?”

It was not that you were even mad. It was that you were worried about him. You'd just cleaned up a few really nasty cuts again and that was fine. You didn't mind. He always did it for you, too. It was part of the job. It was how frequent it happen and how nonchalant he always was about the whole damn thing. It terrified you and you'd told him over and over. He was normally a good listener but...not when it came to this. And it hurt.

“You were fine earlier! Now you’re not?!” Jason looked to the ceiling in frustration. “I am not a damn mind reader!”

You nearly pulled your hair out. “I am not asking to be a mind reader!” You screamed back at him as tears burned your eyes. “I am asking you to fucking listen to me!”

“I do listen--”

“No! I get it.” You caved, bringing your voice back down but it is far more in frustration. “I get what you do. I am not asking you to give it up. I am asking you to be careful.” The last few words had come out as a plea and the fury and annoyance Jason had disappeared.

“That’s just part of the job.” Jason tried to defend softly this time.

“We both know you can be more careful, Jay.” You said it so candidly that Jason felt guilty for not trying harder. You were right. “Uh…I, uh, I had a nightmare a few nights ago.” You confessed. “And, uh, it was about you. And I’ve been thinking about it ever since because it felt really real. And then today…it just…” You shook your head. “This has been…the best year of my life.” You admitted as your chin started to wrinkle and your bottom lip quivered. “Because of you so I think…about losing you and I feel like I can’t breathe.”

Jason almost felt frozen because he couldn't tell where this was going to go and he wasn’t sure where he wanted it to go. The only thing he did know was that he didn't want you worrying so much about him and he felt guilty for putting it on you.

“I know it’s part of the job.” You nodded easily. “I know. I do it, too. But that doesn't make it hurt any less.” You admitted. “And I just…I wish you would be a little bit more careful because I love you.”

Everything froze for Jason. The idea of being loved is almost something he had chased for so long, he never thought he’d get it. He always chased it only to bite it when it comes close to him. It’s scary. The idea of someone loving him and him loving someone else. What if he fucks it up like he’s done to everything else? He couldn't believe he hadn’t fucked this up yet. You’ve clocked him self-sabotaging a few times, he hadn’t in a while but you caught it. You swore he never needed to because you liked him for him. You didn’t care about the dark and scary shit inside his head or the things he’d done. That never mattered to you because he is kind and a good person. He never could believe it but he chose to trust you anyway. And now he was standing here and he had no idea what to do because he could run but the idea of that made him want to burn through the floor.

“What?” Jason finally got out.

“I love you.” You said it again, honestly. It wasn't really how you wanted to tell him. You knew you would eventually but Jason can be a little skittish so you only wanted to do it when you thought he was ready to hear it. You were not sure if he was ready but you couldn't hide it from him anymore. “It’s okay if you don’t feel that way.” You nodded your head even if you didn’t think that was the problem. “Or if you’re unsure if you can say it. I just…I wanted to tell you so maybe…” You had let out a breath. “You’ll know why I worry and I want you to be more careful. I know that…this might not go the way we want in the end but…I just want you to try.”

He thought he didn’t deserve you. He did not deserve that sort of kindness or care or worry but you offered it so easily. You offered it to him as if it was the same as taking a breath. You offered an understanding with it. It’s something even Jason didn’t think about much, you being the one that didn’t make it home. He pushed it away because he felt like he might fall into the center of the earth if that would happen. It would be earth-shattering to him if it were you. You were at least careful when you would go on patrol and he did think that would help, to know you tried to come home to him. It is not fair to not offer you the same deal.

Jason closed the distance between you and you didn’t think he’d say it back which was okay. It would hurt but he had told you so much. Ever since that night months ago when you asked about his childhood, he had told you so much. You knew about being homeless and the things he has witnessed even as a child. You knew. You knew the horrors he had encountered through his life and if it were you, you weren't so sure you would offer those words. But just because he may not be able to say them, did not mean he did not deserve to know how you felt. That did not mean he did not deserve to know people loved him and they wanted him to stay alive. It would hurt but you thought it’d be fine because you knew he loved you.

“I’m sorry, princess.” Jason stated, his voice rough and honest as a hand came to your cheek. His thumb rubbed over your cheek as you nodded against him. “I’ll be careful.” He stated. “I didn’t know.” He admitted.

“I know.” You started back, eyes locked on his. They were red and his eyes were a deep shade of blue like he was on the verge of bursting into tears. “That’s why I told you.”

“Promise, I’ll be more careful out there.” Jason nodded down at you. “I, uh…” Jason pulled in a breath. “I love you, too.” He said carefully but honestly as a gentle smile came to your face.

“Was hoping you did.” You nodded back at him. “I’m sorry for getting so mad. Just worry.”

“It’s okay.” Jason pulled you into him, his arms engulfing you. “I know you worry. I’m sorry for yelling back.” Jason apologized, placing a kiss to your head.

“Can we just get takeout?” You let out a soft laugh, looking up to him. “We can eat and watch some bad reality TV.”

Jason let out a laugh. “What food were you feeling?”

----

A sob rips through Jason’s throat, clawing its way into the cold of Gotham’s air. His legs give out before he can catch a breath and he collapses onto the pavement of the roof. It all hurts. Every piece of his body is aching and crashing like it never should have made it this far. His arms and legs shake as he turns to rest his back against the ledge. He pulls his legs to his chest as his face becomes soaked in his own tears. His lungs start to burn with every sob as he can’t get a full breath in. The world around him starts to spin and it all hurts. Why does it have to hurt so much? He loves you and he will always love you and it will always be painful.

----

Lightning ripped through the sky and you were handling yourself as you always did. You were good on your own. But that night, five days ago, was different. It was different because it was not some big bad that would be the cause. All of that was going so well. It was a simple mistake. Wrong timing. An accident.

Jason had been fighting one of the goons, a nasty fistfight. The goon had some sort of training. Jason was confident, he’d beat him he put up a hell of a fight. It was a hell of a fight until it turned more brutal, getting more physical with punches and kicks, the goon picking Jason up and trying to throw him across the lot. It was getting messy while you were dealing with one of the metas. You were throwing lightning bolts as fast as you could manage while minding where Jason was. It should have been fine because you’d done this before. But, Jason tripped.

He tripped over something left on the ground and that gave the goon enough of a gap to grab him. When he was grabbed, Jason was thrown right into a pile of glass and metal just as you were throwing a lightning bolt in that direction at the meta. You missed Jason but you hit the reflective metals, sending the bolt back to you.

You went down immediately and Jason stopped breathing. The goon and meta took off while Jason was back on his feet, rushing over to you. Panic had flooded his body in that exact instant. You went down hard and the lightning threw you back. He knew.

He pulled your body into his lap, checking for a pulse and trying to feel if you were breathing only to find nothing. His hands were shaking so bad he could barely hold you in his lap.

He called your name with a tremble of his voice. “Come on, you gotta wake up.” He said it quietly, trying to keep himself together, desperately still trying to find a pulse. “Wake up.” He said it more sternly that time as he shook your head lightly.

You were lifeless in his lap and he was at a loss. What is he supposed to do?!

He moved to put your back on the ground and he started CPR before he used the comms to get ahold of Oracle. He told her what happened as he performed CPR, desperate to bring you back to him. You had to come back, right? It was your own lightning bolt. How can you be killed by your own powers? That sounds like such a rip-off. And Jason bit his sobs back because it shouldn’t have been you. It couldn't be you. It was supposed to be him because he needed to be more careful. He didn’t have powers. He already died before. He put a bomb in his helmet. It was supposed to be him to go first but you were not breathing.

You wouldn't breathe.

He tried and he tried until the other bats started showing to offer some help. He tried and tried and tried and it wasn’t good enough because the lightning was too much and he was clumsy. He fucking tripped and he slipped and that was it. It led you to getting hurt. It led you to getting killed. It is all his fault.

----

Jason’s hands cover his face as he keeps sobbing, nausea filling his stomach. His stomach is in agonizing pain and he can’t bear to even attempt to pull himself together. What is he supposed to do? It’s his fault. He can never forgive himself for it and he knows it. You deserved better and he should have just said no three years ago. Had he just turned you down, you’d be alive and off somewhere living your life. Had he just been more careful. It doesn’t matter that everyone has tried to convince him it wasn’t his fault because he always sees it that way. And he misses you.

He wakes up and he misses you and that’s if he can even get any damn sleep. He wakes up and he misses you and he tries to eat and he misses you. Bruce comes over to check on him and he misses you. He sees some of your stuff littered over his apartment and he misses you. His entire chest feels like it might cave right in every single second of every day. It’s as if he is dragging his feet from one minute to the next with no real destination or desire. He moves because he has no choice. He just wants the pain to stop. He wants you back. You didn’t deserve to die.

How he is ever supposed to move on from this? From you?

The memories he once looked back on are now tainted with pain. And that is the only thing he has left of you. What is he supposed to do?

How is he supposed to live with the pain of losing you?

Hands rest on Jason’s knees, gentle and soft, gathering Jason’s attention. Jason’s own sobs were so loud, he entirely missed the presence of another person coming onto the roof with him and he missed the sound of footsteps approaching and then stopping in front of him. He missed it all and not a single part of him even cares. But, he looks up anyway and his breath catches in his throat as his eyes widen. How?

“Jay?” Your voice is quiet and broken with the sight of him.

Tag List: @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai  // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss // @ghostkingblake // @dgraysonss // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @vivian-555 // @kebonita // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover // @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased // @scarlovesyou // @whydoyoucare866 // @littlemeowmeow1000 // @septixtrash // @kplatzman // @killxz // @achromaticerebus // @lovefks // @kolpvii

[wishful-thinking64]

One Hell of an Unpopular Opinion #03

Characters like Barbie Wire, Chaz, Crimson, Octavia, and Stella only exist as plot devices to garner sympathy for other characters. _______ I knew fully well that Chaz and Crimson were going to merely be plot devices for Moxxie the more I watched Exes & Oohs. And sure enough, Chaz was killed at the end of that very episode and Crimson is yet another wacky cartoon villain that the narrative expects for you to take seriously. Both of these characters existed so that the audience could gain sympathy (or at least pity) for Moxxie being raised in a Mafia family and having been abused as a child along with being betrayed by his ex-boyfriend (who also happened to be Millie's ex-boyfriend for some reason.) Other than Moxxie's Mafia family upbringing making zero sense the more you think about it, Viv has basically done this exact backstory before in the form of Angel Dust (with the whole mobster backstory who was also abused by his father.) However, the Exes & Oohs episode and title actually stems from one of the HH mockup episodes that was originally about Charlie and Vaggie coming across Charlie's ex, Seviathan (yes, that's what Viv named him), and his sister, Helsa, while they were at a dinner party.

Now, do I think Chaz and Crimson could've had the potential to be good characters? In all honesty, no. Especially not Chaz. The guy is a harmful stereotype of pansexual people and how, "They'll sleep with anyone," which no, they won't. I'm not pansexual myself but that thought process is as gross as it is fucking stupid. The only person who I've seen even re-writing Chaz has been Loves Art23 (I mainly know her for YouTube videos being critical on Hazbin Hotel + Helluva Boss along with other shows like the disaster known as High Guardian Spice) and I think she's done a fairly good job so kudos to her for making him work. Personally, though I'm scrapping him as that gives me one less character to worry about when re-writing HB. Crimson would have to be heavily and I mean HEAVILY reworked/re-written in order for him to make any actual sense. That and I'm tired of every character having some variation of the same daddy issues in the Hellaverse. Which means he's also gonna get axed from me. Moving onto the ladies I mentioned, let's start off with Barbie Wire.

Having been foreshadowed since the pilot of I.M.P. (as seen when Tilla was still Barb's and Blitzo's older sister rather than their mother) Barbie Wire was an anticipated character by fans for years! And then her actual appearance finally happened in Unhappy Campers, an episode hated by practically everyone who saw it, and no one really cared about her showing up, other than the fact that the writers thought that having her seduce a BARELY legal adult would make for a good joke, when in reality, it only made everybody uncomfortable and several people dislike Barbie because of it. Sure, near the end of the episode she had that "emotional" scene with Blitzo that wants the viewers to feel bad for him and Barbie before she left but in the long run it didn't matter as fans barely even talk about it because of how uneventful it truly was. So, with that out of the way, would I keep Barbie Wire around for a rewrite of HB? To that I say, yes! There are several paths Barbie Wire's overall character could go in. If you're mainly sticking to canon, then what you have to work with is a former circus performer who lost her mother in a fire caused by her twin brother that left his own best friend to rot and be disabled for the rest of his life. It's very likely that this very fire, caused her to be out of a job and probably even homeless for a bit which could explain why she ended up becoming both a drug attic and a drug dealer. Homelessness is one of the few things that nobody wants to experience. It causes people to be filled with a sense of overwhelming loneliness and desperation as many of them either believe that there's nothing they can do or they do anything and everything that they can to get out of it even if that means resorting to crime. If you wanted to have her be loosely based on canon instead, you could make it to where she never learned about who started the fire and actually stuck with Blitzo well into adulthood. Have her become one of the members of I.M.P. and later down the line have her learn through someone like Fizz or maybe Cash (her and Blitzo's father) what actually went down that day. Have her be rightfully pissed off at Blitzo for screwing over multiple people along with being the one responsible for killing their mom. Anyway, let's proceed onto Stella and her daughter Octavia.

As much as the narrative wants me to hate Stella with a burning passion cause she hurts Stolas, I can't do it for multiple reasons but I'll list my top three. #01.) Stella's just as (if not even more so) stuck in this arranged loveless marriage as Stolas is. #02.) If the man I had no choice in marrying not only cheated on me with a man from one of the lowest classes in all of Hell but IN OUR OWN HOME & SHARED BEDROOM NO LESS? OH, FUCK NO!

#03.) This woman had to spend 9 months having to nourish and care for a baby inside her stomach that she had with a man that didn't even want to sleep with her. On top of that, she had to have become pregnant with Octavia when she was a young adult since current day Stolas and Stella are only in their mid 30s. I need you to let that information sink in.

In short, I can't hate Stella for loathing Viv's pathetic self insert bird twink with every fiber of her being.

Having said that, would I have Stella in my HB rewrite? Well, considering that I plan on keeping the war that happened in the bible that caused Lucifer and several angels to fall from grace, one of which being Stolas. Kind of. Allow me to elaborate, I would keep Stella as Octavia's mother but I wouldn't have her marry Stolas. I'd have her be a surrogate mother that way Stolas still gets an heir and Octavia could still exist. Speaking of Octavia...

We all know that she exists to make Stolas look like a better person as several stans of this show love to say how much of a good dad Stolas is when he isn't. He neglects Octavia frequently in favor of Blitzo and only pays attention to her when she's gone although EVEN THAT doesn't last long as shown in Seeing Stars where HE KNEW Octavia was missing on Earth but rather than ACTIVELY look for his daughter, what does he do? HE SITS THROUGH A STUPID LIVE COMEDY SHOW CAUSE BLITZO IS PERFORMING! HE COMPLETELY SIDELINES HIS OWN DAUGHTER IN FAVOR OF A LIVE COMEDY SHOW!

God, Octavia deserves so much better than to have a dad like him. I'm keeping Octavia for my HB rewrite so that this poor girl not only realizes how much of a bastard her dad is but eventually gets the found family she deserves. I don't plan for it to be through I.M.P. though. In closing, the characters of this show deserve to be better developed but especially the women in them.

_______

That was a long one to get through cause it's been on my mind for a while. Thank you all for reading through it and bye for now everybody!

[coffee-master]

[IDEA TO USE: TRANS STANLEY PINES]

[Lee Pines]

I wish there was a fanfic about trans Stanley Pines, who realised he was trans AFTER he was kicked out of the house.

Honestly I belive that during his childhood and teenage years there would be visible sights, but Stand ignored it due to the many circumstances.

I also think that his realtionship with his father would be maybe ever worse? I belive that Filbrick would often complain that his "daughter" was making more mess than his other sons, or complain for not being "a typical girl" or "girly" or other stuff.

Anyway-

After being kicked out I think that due to the new enviroment and other people (good and bad) Stan would probably run into some queer group in one of the bars. Maybe he would try to scam them or steal.. But somehow he would end up with a conversation AND REALISATION.

Egg cracking.

Later Stan would realise that he's a guy and do something about it. (In illegal way due to the situation)

He would do some dirty job to get some shots of testosterone. And it would start working.

He made a call to one of his old pals (on crime) to get a top surgery. The operation was of course a big risk (like 70% you survive, 20% you will die of blood loose on the table and 10% you die due to the infection if the surgery went bad)

I think the transition would have a positive impact on his mental health (like:; "Yeah Testosterone won't solve my money or family problems BUT LOOK WHO CAN GO SHIRTLESS!!)

A little steps would make him smile.

(TW: Another small detail is that during his living on the streets before transition Stan would probably also experience some sexuall harrasment) [I'd have a big impact on him]

Another think is that the transition would help him with his crime record. Slowly [DEADNAME] Pines wanishes away and nobody knows where or how and nobody can susspect him anymore.

From now on He would call himself Lee Pines. (simply)

[Let's be honest. I don't think Lee change his name to Stanley.. it's just like Stanford.. But that's only my opinion]

But Lee Pines would get himself more criminal record and in the end still use new fake IDs and ect.

NOW.

Let's get to the part where Lee gets a postcard from Stanford.

NOW THIS IS WHERE THE REAL FUN BEGIN! Because he doesn't know about this whole stiation.

Stanford is waiting impatiently for his twin sister to show up in his Shack, but when he opens the door, he sees this MESSY HOMELESS GUY (suspicionsly similar to him)

"WHO ARE YOU?! DID YOU COME HERE TO STEAL MY EYES!?" - Stanford is ready to shoot.

Lee is clearly confused. He expected that his twin wouldn be shocked to a man at his doorsteps. But he didn't expect it would go like this-

"Geez, you sure now how to-" Before he could even finish his sentence Ford rapidly moved his crossbow even closer to his face.

"Who are you!?" Stanford yelled insantly.

"Woah Woah- Chill out pointexter-" The messy twin slowly raised his hands up.

"Talk. Now." Ford threatened.

"I'm your brother you dumbass-!" Lee yelled flustration and anger, not paying attention to his words at all.

Instead of being angry Ford only laughed manically at the answer. Shermie was far away with his own family. Moreover adding the fact that he didn't keep in touch with him in a long time. The answer was just hilarious!

"Wrong answer, try again." Ford smirked thinking this must be some trick of imagination or another shape-shifting creature from this forest.

Meanwhile Lee was terrified seeing his brother in this state of mind. Just what exacly happened to him?

But before he could even question this whole Madness, he heard counting.

"Five.." It was Ford. "Four.." And he was counting down.

He was counting down-

Who could have even guessed that reunion with his brother could cost him his head? Nevertheless Lee prefered to stay in one piece.

So he spoke.

All that he know.

"In the middle school I used to take your box class, since you hated it so much and once Pa' found out, he was pretty pissed at both of us!" Immiediately he saw how Ford was taken aback.

It was a good sigh.

So he kept going.

"During summer we'd go on the beach and pretend to be treasure hunters! One time we wanted to make a fireplace next to the boat? I used my dresses as a firelighter and later I was 'forced' to wear your nerdy clothes as a punishment! We had a pet! Shanklin the Stab Possum! World's greatest pet!" He talked and talked until there was no oxygen for him to breath.

But he did it.

Ford blinked dumbfoundly instantly taking a step back from him. Lee didn't hesitate and used this opportunity once again.

"You told me to come here! You send me a post card!" He slowly reached to his pocked, taking out the pice of paper and rapidly waved it in his face.

"What.." Confused twin lowered his weapon down at the sight of the evidence.

"A lot has changed during those ten years brainiac." Finally the other twin said a little coldly, after seeing Ford putting weapoon away. "I go by Lee now." He added simply.

For a moment Stanford didn't say a thing, as if he've just got a brain damage.

"You know what? This isn't the weirdest thing I've seen. Get inside!" Stanford didn't have the time to question, especially when outside, everyone could see them.

Instead he dragged "Lee" into his house.

You can guess what happened next.

And, If someone would be interested in writing a fic about this or something similar then go ahead! DO IT! This is free to use!!!

Please!

Just tag me, becuase I'd like to read it too...👉👈

[MasterPost]

[geovanag]

🪐 Astrology Observations 5 🪐

Capricorn Moon signs start to look more attractive to other people when they reach middle age (after 40).

You may know that the Moon is at its lowest position in Capricorn. So how did I make such an observation despite this position? By middle age, many turning points in a person's life are completed. The moon is one of them. Now the mature (Capricorn) emotions (moon) begin to show themselves.

Then these people, who maximize their emotional maturity, improve the problems in their relationships with their mothers and sometimes succeed in camouflaging their feelings and sometimes in sharing their feelings with people they feel close to.

(This was the position I observed in men).

~

I think the Sun Ascendant square aspect is really challenging for a man. He has a problem with the authority figure, the father from an early age. It may not be completely confrontational (unless Mars, saturn, uranus and pluto are in hard influence)

Being in the same environment together can make them feel like they are being restricted. Maybe they feel that something is wrong. But is it really what they think it is? Yes. With the other person, (the Sun) it is very difficult for them to forget everything and get back together with them. (Orb should be maximum 6)

~

Although they say that Juno is only a marriage indicator and other asteroids can show ceremonies like weddings, I don't go into that much detail. I think even Juno can show the wedding process. For example; I had a friend with Juno in Virgo. Maybe she didn't scrutinize the person she was going to marry down to the most meticulous detail, but the wedding process was exactly like that. She had prepared details down to what the guests would wear. Ugh I think it is very tiring, even though I have Virgo juno, lol

Juno in Virgo may have met the man she will marry at work.

~

Chiron - Moon square aspect, this aspect allows you to feel the healing and wounded spirit of Chiron deep down. Let's not discuss whether it's good or bad, but it's certainly very palpable. Your emotions are shaped by "compassion". For example, you see a homeless man and a little child a little further away. You feel infinite compassion for these two people and a desire to give them a home. You take into account the situation and circumstances and just think that they are in need of help. Independently of this, I find it interesting that people with this aspect do not get enough support from the women around them. Maybe this is how the "lacking" aspect of chiron works. I would like to write a more detailed article about Chiron.

~

Having a Venus-Neptune-Jupiter T-square. The signs and houses where the planets are located will play a serious role. I know someone who has this T-square in 2nd-4th-10th houses. I realized that he is not where he is supposed to be because of his family's pressures. He doesn't want to talk about it but I can observe it. Sometimes his mother and sometimes his father try to shape his future position, how he will earn money without asking him. This will hurt him a lot but he has a very strong character and he will get what he wants at the end of this path.

~

Having Pluto aspects in synastry is known to be quite difficult. But you should know that it is difficult for the planetary person. Because they are both deeply attracted to Pluto's mysterious aura and very annoyed by it. Both of these feelings are exhausting for them. I am not saying that Pluto benefits from this, but things are much simpler for Pluto. It's the other one who gets exhausted.

In the next post I will write about the ascendants in the Composite chart. New post will be coming very soon, please get in touch if you have any observations you would like to share.

TAKE CARE,,, 🌬

[coryothesub]

Sinful Desires

So I’ve been dabbling in some more kinky / taboo themes lately which prompted me to write this as a special treat no one asked for. Basically I have no excuse for this and sorry if I got any tbosas lore wrong because I haven't read the book

nsfw / mdni / sub!coryo / stepmom!reader / stepcest / breeding kink / mentions of underage sex work

You married Crassus Snow as soon as you turned eighteen. Looking back you could say that you were truly in love with the tall, handsome general. However for him you were just a warm body to sleep next to and tight pussy to drown his sorrow after the unfortunate passing of his beloved wife. His decision to remarry had definitely come too soon and you were definitely too young to even understand the implications.

After you received the news of your husband's tragic death, you decided to stay with the Snows, because you simply had nowhere else to go. Just like many others, your family had been torn apart by war and even the house you’d grown up in was now bombed to shreds. Your only options were to be poor or to be poor and homeless so you opted for the first one. 

You were always on good terms with Tigris. Daily struggle to sustain the family had brought you two pretty close especially because you both were forced to do the same unspeakable things just to maintain the food on the table and the roof above your heads.

First you categorically refused to bring her into that, but realizing it was getting harder and harder to make ends meet with your own endeavors and after thousands of silent and desperate “I’ll be fine, if you can do it then I can do it too” you finally gave in and introduced her to some men for whom your ripe age of twenty five was already too old to satisfy their needs.

You both didn't have much choice anyways since Grandma’am simply refused to move into a smaller apartment, let alone leave the Capitol. Apart from that and her other weird quirks she seemed to be a pretty nice lady. At least as far as you knew the right patriotic buttons to push in order to stay on her good side. 

Crassus’ son Coriolanus or Coryo, as Tigris used to call him, didn't seem to like you one bit. He considered you an intruder, an unfair replacement to his mother that did nothing but reminded him of his family's tragedy. 

Over the years Coryo seemed to have learned to tolerate you, mostly because he felt somewhat grateful for all your efforts, but still he remained cold and distant. You didn't particularly mind that, because you had no idea how to raise a young man. You felt pretty happy that he didn't ask you any awkward questions and managed to figure out everything himself. 

Sometimes during his teenage years you noticed Coryo secretly watching you while you were changing or getting ready for a bath. On some occasions he even touched himself while doing it trying to suppress his little moans by biting into his fist. You always knew he was there, but you never confronted him. You knew full well it would make your coexistence very awkward for both of you and frankly you found it pretty amusing.

After all, he was just a silly little boy for you until the time his nineteenth birthday came around. It started even earlier if you thought about it. After Coryo returned from his service in District 12 and got his hands on the Plinths' fortune he turned into a completely different man.

Coryo always had the taste for finer things in life and when he finally got the means to fund it, you only saw him wearing tailored dress suits and perfectly polished shoes. Even his whole posture had changed and when he passed you in the dining room followed by an intoxicating wave of expensive cologne, instead of the anxious malnourished boy you had known for most of your life you saw a fit and handsome young man that reminded you of your late husband so much.

Your run down penthouse was completely refurbished to suit your stepson’s taste and he showered all three of you with lavish presents, encouraging you to throw out your old things.

Finally he could have the life he had always envisioned. And every last memory of your humble existence after the war had to be exterminated and written off into oblivion.

Coryo had become confident, strong and ambitious. Some might say even ruthless. It was hard for Tigris to accept those changes and she grew more distant with her younger cousin. They barely spoke, she was mostly just looking at him with sadness and disappointment in her eyes.

Coryo didn't seem to care about that much. He didn't care about other people's feelings in general. But there was one interesting detail. The colder he became to others, the more delicate and gentle he was with you.

He always wanted to be in your vicinity, lighting your cigarette, opening the door for you or helping you to put on your coat. He always had to do a little something just to remind you he was there. He even pretended to care about your opinion, giving you the most dashing smile every time you seemed to agree with what he had actually already decided.

And the weirdest thing about that all was that he had started to refer to you as “mommy”. He had never called you that before and there was no particular reason for starting it now, especially because it seemed to make Tigris extremely uncomfortable.

And it sounded pretty eerie for your ears too, especially because Coryo always accompanied the word by giving you this one specific look that radiated childish naivety mixed with a hint of pure lust.

It always made your heart skip a beat, especially because in some weird twisted way you wanted it too. The sheer hunger in his icy blue eyes made your pussy tingle and after those interactions you always had to go to your room and touch yourself, your pleasure overshadowed by shame.

After all, you weren’t dead yet, you were just a woman in your early thirties and you hadn't been touched by a man since you had stopped selling your body. But for god's sake he was your stepson! You really needed to find some dick, before things spiraled out of control.

One day you returned to your room after running some errands and found a gift box on your bed. It was adorned with a crimson satin ribbon and a single white rose. You found an envelope laying next to it.

You opened it with trembling fingers, the strong rosy scent of Coryo's cologne filling the air. Inside the envelope there was a card with a few words in your stepson's neat handwriting.

From Coryo to Mommy with love…

You sighed and opened the box, finding a snow white, neatly folded piece of clothing inside. You couldn't really call it a nightgown, it was more like a negligee. You lifted the delicate item against the window, seeing the sunlight pass right through it. Of course it was nearly transparent apart from the exquisite hand made lace embroidery.

Coryo's taste was flawless as ever, you had to admit that, but this had to stop! You were gonna tell him tomorrow. But it wouldn't hurt anyone if you tried it on tonight, right? Just for one night, no one would find out, and you would demand him to return it tomorrow morning.

That night you put Coryo's present on and marveled at yourself in the mirror. It looked like a lacy cloud hugging your naked body so nicely the outline of your feminine curves visible through the sheer fabric. You turned around then moved your hips in a suggestive way flirting with your own reflection in the mirror. You couldn't remember the last time you had felt so desirable.

After pairing the negligee with a pair of white cotton panties, you went to bed. Just as you were drowsing off into your sleep, you heard the door creak before someone opened and closed it quietly. You rubbed your eyes and switched on the night lamp just to notice Coryo standing by your bed wearing nothing but his tight white undies and a loose fitting silk robe. His hair wasn't perfectly styled as usual, instead his blonde curls were falling freely around his face.

“Mommy?” He gazed upon you with the most innocent look in his baby blue eyes. “Can I sleep in your bed tonight?”

Coryo had never slept in your bed, even when he was a young boy often haunted by terrible nightmares, Tigris was always the one who comforted him and sang him to his sleep, you were just sitting on your bed listening quietly until you were sure the boy was alright.

You knew full well what his true intentions were. You had to act like an adult.

“I really don't think it's the best idea, Coriolanus,” you tried to sound strict and inexorable.

“Please, mommy! It's so cold and I can't sleep. I feel embarrassed to go to Tigris and ask her for a lullaby, not to mention we’re not on the best terms right now,” he was looking at you, his blue eyes wide and desperate.

“Please, please, just this one time!”

You sighed deeply and gave him a faint nod.

“Alright, just this time!”

To your surprise Coryo threw the robe off his shoulders and pulled down his underwear, revealing his long, handsome half hard cock, its tip looking so velvety and just as pink as his lovely lips.

You were so caught off guard that you didn't even manage to make any protests before he jumped into your bed and glued himself to your side, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“Mommy…” he whispered against the sensitive skin of your neck, making you shiver. “I’ve been having the worst nightmares… About the war, about all the things we had to do to survive. I’ve tried everything to make them disappear, but they keep coming back…”

You knew this was your last chance to stop this, you had to push him away, order him to leave your room immediately and never come back, but instead sinful words of encouragement just spilled out of your mouth.

“It's alright, babyboy! Mommy's here and you're safe with me,” you hummed gently as your hand caressed his golden curls. 

God, this felt so wrong on so many levels especially feeling your stepson's now fully hard cock pressing against your thigh, waiting for what seemed to be inevitable at this point.

“Thank you, mommy, you’re always so good to me,” you heard Coryo say just before feeling his lips on your neck. He kept kissing your soft skin and teasing it with his tongue, you felt your pulse running wild and you knew he probably felt it too.

Coryo's hand, previously resting on your shoulder, was now traveling down, his fingers dove under the lacy fabric of your negligee and started drawing circles around your nipple making your breath speed up.

“Coryo what are you doing?” Your mind still felt as you had to resist the pleasant feeling although your body was enjoying it so much.

He looked at you ever so innocently.

“I read that fidgeting something with your fingers can be really calming,” he said, playing with your nipples and tweaking them gently. “I just wanted to test that theory, it seems like it truly works…”

You just sighed, feeling your whole body filling with the insuperable feeling of pure lust, your nipples were rock hard under Coryo's masterful fingers and you felt a treacherous wetness pooling up in your panties. You hated that your own body was betraying you like that under your stepson's salacious touch.

“Mommy, you have such beautiful breasts…”

You inhaled sharply as Coryo's lips wrapped around your nipple, starting to suck hungrily, while his hand traveled further downwards. It easily found its way between your thighs and dove under the waistband of your soaked panties.

“Oh,” he cooed, dipping his fingers in your wetness. “Mommy really needs her babyboy to help her out, huh?”

“Shut up, Coriolanus!”

You grabbed a fistful of Coryo's curls and pulled him away from titty to smash your lips together in a passionate kiss, he felt so needy and desperate as he was exploring your mouth panting softly as you felt his erect cock pressing to your thigh, leaving a trail of precum from its leaking tip.

“Oh fuck, Coryo,” you whispered his name against his lips feeling him pushing his long slender fingers inside you. Your wet cunt that swallowed them so easily. You were literally dripping around his digits as you felt the embarrassment slowly leaving your body and getting replaced by a feeling of raw insatiable desire.

“I'm here for your mommy,” Coryo whispered, his fingers deep inside your pussy, curling against your soft walls and teasing your sweet spot.

“I will help you fulfill all your needs. That's what family's for right?”

With one swift move you pulled down your panties and crawled on top of him pinning him to the bed and covering his mouth with your hand.

“Don't mention family, you filthy little boy!  If you want mommy to give you a treat, you need to stay quiet, is that clear?”

Coryo nodded and you took your hand away from his mouth, wrapping it around his throat instead. The young man gasped watching as your free hand steadied his rock hard cock at your entrance before you slowly sank down on him, your wet pussy taking his whole length with ease. A soft moan escaped your lips as he stretched out your tight cunt.

You kept your hand on his throat in a tight grip as you started to move at an easy pace, eliciting a series of moans from his lips. Coryo's pupils dilated as he saw your pussy sliding up and down his length making it glisten from your juices.

You tightened your grip around his throat as you sped up your movements enjoying his little gasps as he was fighting for air completely under your control. The sight before your eyes made you impossibly wet and lewd slapping sounds filled the room as you bounced up and down his shaft faster and faster with each movement.

Chasing your own pleasure you let go of Coryo's neck and threw your head back, letting the straps if your negligee slide down your shoulders revealing your lovely tits bouncing up and down as you kept riding your stepson's cock.

Coryo's eyes widened at the sight and he let out a deep groan as your tight walls clenched around his cock, his tip hitting against your sweet spot as you kept moving.

“Oh mommy, you’re making me feel so good,” Coryo spoke, breathing heavily as you were too busy chasing your release to make him keep up with his vow of silence.

“I want to cum inside you, to put a baby in your belly. To make you nice and round full of new life that would make our family complete and strengthen our ties forever.”

In your mind you realized how twisted these words were and that they could actually become true considering that you weren't on birth control since your sex work days but your brains were completely shut off by pleasure as you kept moving up and down Coryo's wonderful dick your manicured nails digging into his smooth pale chest.

Coryo's nostrils flared, watching your boobs bouncing up and down as he felt his climax approaching.

“I can't wait for those beautiful tits to be swollen and full of delicious milk oh oooooh…” he cut himself off, moaning loudly as thick ropes of cum filled your cunt spurting up against your velvety walls.

You rode him through his orgasm and your red nails dug deep into his skin leaving red scratches. After mere seconds you came hard all over his cock and squelching sounds filled the room as your juices were mixing together with his cum. You collapsed on top of your stepson, his cock still inside you and he wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly.

“Just let me stay inside mommy's pussy a little longer,” he whispered. “Don't let the seed go to waste.”

“Fuck you, Coriolanus!” You hissed and bit into his neck using his distraction to wiggle out of his grip and crawl off of him making him whine at the loss of contact.

Coryo didn't put up a fight, he just watched you as you pulled the straps of your negligee back on your shoulders and then pulled you into his arms, wrapping himself around you.

You sighed and brushed a stray curl off his forehead looking into his big sleepy eyes. There was no way of denying the fact that you had just slept with your stepson, especially since you could still feel his heart beating softly against your skin and his cum dripping down your inner thighs.

It was so wrong. But still deep down in your heart in some sick and twisted way it felt so incredibly right.

[createandconstruct]

can I request also the toshinko dadmight headcanons XD

👁️👁️ I owe you my life for asking, my friend

First, I just love them. Whether romantic, platonic, co-parenting duo—I just love them.

Also i'm going straight into end of the manga spoilers for these headcanons cause that's where my brain is currently sitting and spiraling?

In Izuku's 2nd year Inko and Toshinori start encountering each other a bit more often

They saw a bit of each other when Izuku and All Might were recovering in the same hospital room. It's where Inko learns that Izuku had sacrificed the quirk All Might gave him. She holds it together when Izuku tells her but once her son falls asleep she cries and cries and cries, unable to hold back even though All Might is there as a witness.

Toshinori confides in her that he's not sure of the future (he's essentially broke after using up all his money for the IronMight suit and he'd be homeless if he didn't have a dorm at UA) especially when it comes to Izuku's dream. Though he just can't believe this is the end of it. But no matter happens, he swears to her that his promise he made to her to stay alive and raise Izuku still stands.

And even though he renews that promise while on his back in a hospital bed, in a neck brace with plaster around every limb, it's even more powerful than the first time. Inko can't stop thinking about it even after Izuku is discharged.

It's why, once things have settled down, Inko asks Izuku if he'd like to invite All Might over for dinner

I like to imagine that Izuku elects to stay at the dorms for must weekdays but that he goes home on weekends to spend time with Inko. Part of it is admittedly because he's a little guilty—he put her under so much stress the last few months—be it's also because he just misses her.

And um yes! Izuku would like that! But he doesn't think All Might will say yes...he's still recovering from his battle and he's been busy working with Hawks on restoration. But Inko is very encouraging (almost insistent, which Izuku notes with some surprise) so Izuku relents and asks.

Imagine Toshinori's surprise when he gets the invite. He's at PT with Tsukauchi (who's there for moral support) when Izuku texts him and his immediate reaction is to slip from the bars when Tsukauchi reads the out loud message for him.

Toshi doesn't even have an answer at first because a part of him WANTS to go, and another feels it'd be too rude to reject what is Izuku's mother extending her thanks (nor does he want to reject Izuku when the boy is dealing with so much right now), but there's the matter of his diet and he doesn't want to be any trouble

But Izuku is a PSYCHIC (or very good at word vomit and backtracking) so he immediately messages that he already told his mother about Toshinori eating habits - and while he's embarrassed, he's thankful

He says yes and Tsukauchi watches on so so happy for his friend. Feeling like this truly is the first step in Toshinori's recovery that has been a very long time coming

And after that first dinner there's many more. Sometimes when Izuku comes home for the weekend he'll be the one to ask if Toshinori can join but sometimes Inko will extend an invite. At some point the two exchange numbers because in all the craziness they somehow never did when Izuku went AWOL and left UA.

And over these dinners that go on for most of Izuku's second year Inko finds herself learning more and more about the man behind the hero. She even feels a little bad, always calling him All Might, that she asks and is surprised when he gives her his name with only the hesitation of surprise and...gratefulness? It certainly feels that way whenever she refers to him by his last name & catches his expression

And the more she learns, the more that so much about Yagi Toshinori strikes her as a little too familiar. He shares one evening, helping her wash the dishes as Izuku picks out a movie for the three of them to watch, that he has no living family. No parents, no grandparents, no siblings, just an old teacher and Izuku. And it makes Inko (single mother, married young, without her parents, without siblings, estranged from any extended family, with only her little apartment and son) feel seen.

Things move very slow. But there's definitely a change. When the sport festival comes round again for the second years, Toshinori invites Inko to come see it live. Izuku competes and gets very far despite not using his quirk! (The school elected on not including a battle event this time around). And Inko has the worst/best time of her life cheering for her son right along with All Might.

They all go out to eat after and pick a small little place, to avoid Izuku or Toshinori from being recognized. It's so relaxed, comfortable, warm, something Inko realizes...she's growing used to

That same school year the cultural festival is reopened to the public and Inko goes thinking she'll walk around with Mitsuki until Izuku is free to say hello (she doesn't want to pull him from his friends). But then she runs into Toshinori and suddenly he's offering to show her around and then the two of them are exploring the festival together. And it only hits Inko as strange when they get to Izuku's class and her son waves, running up to him with a bit of surprise behind his eyes. "Oh, how come you're with All Might, Mom?"

And...that's a great question.

Then there's Toshi. He's partial to cooking but never really did it for himself. In fact he'd only started up again because of Izuku. Making bentos for their lunch meetings during school and for when the kid was working himself ragged on the run. But now he's bringing his own side dishes when he joins Inko and Izuku for dinner. Now, he's asking if there's something maybe he could try making. Now, Midoriya Inko is asking if he'd like to join her at the supermarket where she tends to shop and he's accepting.

It's a bit of a song and dance for almost a full year. Dinners, school events, shopping, walks. Inko sharing stories and pictures of Izuku that begin revealing more and more about herself. Toshi responding with the same courtesy.

There's this building comfort. This familiarity. This something Inko isn't sure she ever really had even with Hisashi when he was here in the time before Izuku was born.

Something Toshinori didn't even think he wanted, but now that he has it—feels it whenever he walks through the Midoriya's front door—he doesn't want to lose it

But everything comes to a halt when one day during his second year Izuku comes home with Toshinori in tow, which is not unusually for a Friday. What is unusual is Izuku saying he wants to talk with them both after dinner. The matter being the "UA Preparation for the Future Survey all the second years have received.

For a hero student, this would be a chance to review potential offers of work at a specific agency upon graduation, to see if a pro has extended an offer to begin as a sidekick, or to declare plans for startup work if a student plans on creating their own agency. For Izuku…

The fear Inko has for her son will never disappear but ever since she saw him fight from the safety of UA's fortress, her belief in him triumphs said fears. And she can't help but think Toshinori feels the same. None of them have really talked about this, or at least, not all together. Toshinori had mentioned a few times that Izuku had been sharing whenever the "embers" felt a little less but that had really been the extent

Toshinori starts the conversation, saying what Inko also wants to, that they'll support him, that they'll find a way, that even quirkless they'll make it work—but Izuku interrupts.

"I've decided." And by the look in his eyes Inko knows there'll be no convincing him otherwise. "I'm going to apply university."

He confesses to seriously considering his future. To reflecting on how he could continue to help people. To inspire and encourage others to feel like they could also reach out.

"Maybe I could try to be a hero quirkless..." And even though he doesn't cry Inko does when he looks to her and says, "But after everything...I'm not sure that's a risk I'm willing to take. I want to make sure more than anything that I can come home to you...both of you."

And then Inko's not the only one crying, Toshinori is too, and Izuku is poorly swiping at some tears but his voice doesn't waver at all when he says, "I want to be a teacher at UA"

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for lying to my friends due to a psychological disorder?

Ever since I (21F, american) was quite young (I would say around my 9 or 10 years) my mother noticed I had a tendency for lying, sometimes even for no reason at all. Some years after that I started going through therapy and psychiatric sessions and was diagnosed as bipolar and, more specifically, mythomania (compulsive/pathological lying, the diagnostic changed depending on which psychiatrist I went through). My manic episodes usually last longer than the depressive ones and, when those happen, I usually just lock myself from everyone in my bedroom (I rarely leave home even during manic episodes due to my own fear of anything bad that could happen outside)

And I'd say it's during those manic episodes that the bad things start to happen. Ever since my early 17s I started fabricating my own life to online friends since I have extreme difficulty making friends on real life. This ranged from stuff such as me saying that I'm disabled and that's why I don't leave my house (not true, I can do it when necessary but otherwise I am able bodied) and other simple, white lies to stuff like my relationship with my family and living condition.

It was in 2021 I think it started to go downhill. I still don't think I was in the wrong for it since, again, it is a mental disorder but I decided to come ask others too since the one friend I have that knows about it thinks I might be an asshole about this in specific.

Around 2021 I started playing a specific game with gacha mechanics. To this point, the image I had painted to most online friends (with the exception of that one friend) was of a girl on her 20s with a good relationship with her mother but a bad one with both her dad and brother (a lie, as our dad left us when we were children and I have a pretty good relationship with my brother), disabled and in bad living conditions. Because of that, it had been some time (since the beginning of the lockdown) since some of these friends started sending me money whenever I said I needed it for one reason or another (usually to buy food or necessities like hygiene products) and, since I didn't need it at all, I would just end up using it on stuff I enjoy like art supplies or makeup.

The moment I started playing that game though (which none of my friends knew about since they still thought I didn't have my own computer), I started spending all of that money on the game to pull for characters. It wasn't a constant thing but it got specifically bad on 2022, when a character I really enjoy was released.

I still think it's not that bad since none of them gave me a lot of money anyways, but after what I already had was spent on the game and I didn't have any money to buy the currency, I went to the discord servers venting channel and started writing by impulse stuff like how my dad had evicted me and me alone from the house after I stood up to him and now I was living in my cramped old car on the streets with no food, clothes etc. Some of those friends got extremely worried or something like that and ended up sending me more money than usual so I could 'pay for a hotel' until I had time to get government support etc (I don't really know how that works anyways, but I said I'd try and thanked them a lot for it and said that as soon as I was safe I'd draw something for them as payback but I never did because it wasn't really like it was a commission anyways) and I spent it on the game to get the character and I did!

I had to keep the lie about being homeless and then getting government support ever since and last month me and my "real life partner" (not real but i made it up a few months before this so i just used it as a excuse that he was working to get us both a place to stay) were finally in a safe apartment. However, one of those online friends knew about my condition and started to suspect about it all and got angry at me for no reason, saying that I was stealing from my friends and being unfair on even denying that to her. After that she blocked me but I was able to lie to the server that she had threatened me and implied I was lying about it all which wasn't true because that was my real living situation.

I still don't think I am in the wrong, they all did offer it to me on their own after all and I already spent it so there's nothing I can do. Am I the asshole for lying due to a mental health condition?

What are these acronyms?

[aingeal98]

Cass or Tim for the ask game

Gonna do Cass because she gets favourite blorbo privileges

three facts about them from my personal headcanons

-The dip in the Lazarus Pit removed a few of her latest scars. She's still covered in scars, it's not enough that anyone would notice, most of them look at Cass and are horrified by the bullet exit wounds covering her skin. But Cass knows what each scar is from, and the loss of even a few of them hurts her afterwards for reasons she doesn't quite understand. She got stabbed through the chest by her brother and yet there is no evidence of it. Some nights she gets tempted to scratch at where the scar should be, digging into her skin until she catches herself and snaps herself out of it.

-Her favourite music genre is metal and rock. She doesn't care about the differences between the genres despite Stephanie as a fellow Metallica fan eagerly trying to explain it. Cass just likes "Mosh pit music."

-Due to being homeless as a kid she got used to sleeping anywhere and everywhere. Her favourite place to curl up and hide was inside a washing machine, normally ones that were old and abandoned. She stopped as she got older but the washing machines in the manor are huge so she started doing it again when she felt low. This has given Alfred several near heart attacks when he goes to put clothes in and finds his grandchild curled up fast asleep.

a reason they suck

Batgirl issue 37 is one of my favourite issues and highlights some of the reasons I find Cass a compelling character but it also does objectively show one of the ways she sucks. Projection can be helpful or it can make you too self absorbed so you end up making bad choices. In this case it was the latter.

a reason they are great

Literally everything that makes Batman cool and compelling but with none of the downsides. Her downsides are different from his due to not having the narrative protection of being the white male lead. Her downsides are also deliberately and competently written. For further information see my entire blog.

a reason I relate to them

Autistic, mentally ill, used to be suicidal, awkward socially but enjoys violence not for malicious reasons but purely for the fun of it (I like boxing and martial arts.) Just everything about how she expresses herself and thinks and interacts with other people it's like wow. For a character with such a ridiculously comic book fantasy backstory she sure is incredibly relatable in down to earth ways!

(what I consider to be) the top tier otp/ot3 for that character

Stephcass. Steph is the Lois to Cass's Clark, the MJ to Cass's Spiderman. But Steph is also a vigilante in her own right and that adds extra flavour. If DC would give me one of those six issue mini runs they're so fond of I could do so much with it.

five things that never happened to that character that I believe should have happened

-Her Batgirl run should have had a proper conclusion not pushing her towards character assassination evil turns

-She should have become Batman.

-She should have been a part of the family from the beginning of the New 52 era. An essential part, closer to everyone than Jason and with more years in the family than Damian.

-She should have gotten to kiss Steph by now but I'll accept it if DC makes it happen this year.

-She should have gotten one final confrontation with David Cain where he comes back to life for 24 hours to remind DC of why her original run hit so hard and center her more on those themes than on being random Batgirl number 2.

five people that character never fell in love with and why

-Kon El. He's a good friend but she's a lesbian.

-Tai'darshan. He was a valuable part of helping her understand what she liked and didn't like romance wise but unfortunately he fell on the "didn't like" side in the end. Also she's a lesbian.

-Zero. He was her first fun civilian romance and while it wasn't serious it was nice while it lasted. It never would have been able to get serious though for multiple reasons. One of which being that she's a lesbian.

-Tim Drake. Shockingly being a lesbian is not the only main reason for once. Here it's also due to them being adopted siblings. While he loves Cass and was canonically mildly attracted to her at times during the early days, by the time they became adopted siblings they'd been through enough that any potential had fizzled out into pure platonic sibling menace energy.

-Harper Row. Being a lesbian is not an issue here at all actually. The issue is that in Harper's universe Cass killed her mom and in Cass's main universe she killed someone else and never met Harper until the world rebooted. Cass is not emotionally mature enough to wade through all that for a relationship. Especially when she can choose to wallow in guilt and stare awkwardly and painfully at Harper when Harper doesn't notice instead.

[lostbetweenvampiresandmusic]

Lost in a storm

Marko × reader

(Requests are open)

💜

-----------------------------

I sighed softly as the harsh wind slammed against my chest. It was about to storm. The waves were crashing into the rocks scattered around the beach, and the boardwalk seemed to be completely deserted.

I enjoyed myself, though, in the dark, dreary afternoon. It was cold, but not cold enough to make me regret going outside. There was some faint hint of rain, but not enough for me to regret not taking an umbrella. And there was wind. A lot of it. Swirling around me, slamming against me, dragging me forward and pushing me back. It made me feel small, in the comparison of things.

How could my world end when something out there - like the wind - was so much stronger and bigger than me? How could I be worried when the wind slammed against me, quite literally pushing all the worries away from me? How could I be anything when the wind could drag me down the second I allowed it to?

You see, I had somehow - for some reason - fallen in love. I didn't do love. Love was not a thing for me, I didn't bother with it. Why would I, when I was happy on my own? When I had friends, family, a fulfilled life? And yet, when I first saw him, I couldn't help but just fall for him. And not even a little bit - I flew right past 'crush' to 'head over heels madly in love'.

He had been something. Feared on the boardwalk, first and foremost. Also, apparently, one of the tormentors of my brother. But whether he was feared or hated, it didn't matter to me. I saw him. How he'd sometimes give some extra food to homeless kids, how he drove carefully past some animals so he wouldn't scare them. How he'd made sure that the ones he cared about were alright. He might have seemed bad, and he might have been bad to some - but, deep down, I realised he was good.

Me being in love with him was not the cause of my worries, though. No, my dear brother - note the sarcasm here - was the cause of that. He had wanted to fit in with their group. He had tried to back out. And backing out in Michael's case didn't mean backing off. It meant taking revenge. And that revenge caused me to be stressed beyond imagination. Because somehow, I got dragged into it as well. It was not just Michael going after David. It was Michael dragging me along while trying to kill my boyfriend and his family.

They had tried to kill Marko. Michael had tried to kill him. And he had expected me to be okay with it. He had expected me to help. And I did. Help, that is. Just not him.

I'd screamed and yelled and cried until he woke up. I screamed until the Frog brothers got distracted, so I could be certain they would miss. That they would not stake him through his heart. That eventhough Marko might still get injured, it would not be lethal. Luckily for me, I was successful. He lived. I hoped.

Because after I had tried to save him, I was dragged away by my brother and the Frog brothers. I was pushed away by David, who had anger written all over his face. I was dragged out of the cave, forbidden from entering again by the vampires and forbidden to return home by my human family.

So here I was. The wind was still punching against my chest as I tried to forget what had happened earlier today. As I tried to forget what might have happened to Marko. As I tried to distract myself of the endless what ifs that circled around in my head, as it tried to forget that maybe I had just screwed up for good with both my human family and my new found one.

"You'll get sick."

I turned around quickly, trying to steady my heartbeat.

"I don't care."

"He will."

"Marko's alive?" I looked at Dwayne, feeling more hopeful than I had done all day. He nodded.

"He asked me to come and get you."

I nodded, following him back to his bike. I got on, no longer caring that I was indeed getting quite cold and lightheaded. He was alive - and if he wanted to see me, he was not angry. Not with me, at least. Not that he had a right to be angry with me, I bloody saved the man, but you never know with vampires, you know?

I was quiet as we entered the cave, not saying anything as I hugged Marko tightly. We stood there for a while before I heard David speak up.

"We're going out for revenge."

I turned to look at him, shaking my head. "You're an idiot if you do."

David was about to snap at me when I continued. "Dont you get it?! They will expect the three of you! They will have fucking prepared for it! They may be young and stupid, but they almost succeeded once! Going after them tonight? You will fucking die! All of you. Just-" I swalled hard, trying to fight the tears that finally welled up in my eyes. "Just don't. Not tonight."

"Why do you care? Weren't you just with them this morning, ready to attack?" David sounded cold and bitter, and frankly, more dangerous than I had ever experienced before. I stepped back in fear, feeling slightly more secure when Marko pulled me closer to him.

"I tried to stop them," I said quietly. It was of no use, I knew David was angry.

"Just shut up," Marko looked at David, interrupting him before he could go on an angry rant. "Without Y/N, I'd be dead now. Project your anger on somebody else."

With those words, the cave fell silent. David, at one point, went out - either to get some food or to get some food. Dwayne and Paul left, too, at some point, stating that they wanted to see what they were up against the next day.

"I thought I lost you," I said softly as I sat on the couch, looking at him. "I was so fucking scared that they'd hit your heart and that I'd never see you again-"

"It's not that easy to kill a vampire, babe."

"You're sure you're alright?"

Marko was about to answer when I sneezed loudly. I shivered, feeling cold and clammy.

"Are you?"

"I think Dwayne was right," I mumbled, grabbing a blanket from Stars' bed and pulling it around me, "I shouldn't have been out in this weather for so long."

Marko chuckled, laying down so I could lay next to him. "You better get some sleep. Before you really get sick."

I nodded softly, my hand playing with a loose strand of his hair. "Maybe I should turn."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. To make sure you're safe."

He grinned, kissing my forehead softly. "You've already succeeded, babe. Just get some sleep, alright? I'm fine, I'm still here. I won't leave you."

[frazzledsoul]

A short list of the fanon interpretations I have seen on here over the past year that have attempted to portray adult Jess Mariano as a shitty person in order to make Rory seem perpetually morally superior to him

Jess has a nice body and appears to work out, so he must therefore be mentally ill.

Milo's body is disgusting and unattractive, and the producers in AYITL must be delusional to think that anyone would be attracted to him or would ever want to see him with his biceps uncovered

Jess hates kids and is too toxic to be allowed around Rory's child

Jess is a weakling and a pushover because he wants to maintain a relationship with Luke and Liz.

Jess hates Luke, has never forgiven him for throwing him out, and it is impossible for them to have a close relationship (despite the fact that they do). Rory is allowed to forgive the people who have hurt her, but Jess is not.

Jess consoled Luke when his relationship was in trouble and therefore he is incapable of forming romantic attachments, has never had a successful romantic relationship, and is irredeemably fucked up and mentally ill. However, Rory is not to be judged for her inability to form a successful romantic relationship by the AYITL era or her constant cheating or multiple affairs with other people's partners. She is deemed capable of attachments despite the rampant infidelity, but he is permanently broken for attempting to comfort his uncle.

Jess hates sex, refuses to have sex with anyone other than Rory, and will be considered irredeemably messed up if he ever has a romantic or sexual relationship with anyone else. Rory is allowed to have attachments outside of him, but he is forbidden to look at anyone else. The only reason he had a physical relationship with another girl in season 3 is because of "peer pressure", even though he had no friends and did not care what anyone else thought of him.

Rory was too responsible, moral, and unselfish to even consider hanging out with Jess for a few months in NYC because he was financially unstable, but her affair with Dean is completely sane, logical, and justified because she was lonely and wanted attention. She is allowed to wreak whatever destruction she wants because it makes her feel good, but Jess is to be found perpetually morally inferior to her no matter what she does because she can do no wrong. If you state that you found her actions appalling, you're a bad person who hates women.

It's unfortunate if people don't like it, but none of the aforementioned theories are really anything close to being true. They are not in canon, and I'm a bit sick of people coming up with new theories to pretend that Jess is perpetually inferior to Rory, who will always be held as better than him because she doesn't have to take responsibility for any of her actions. If Rory were really that great of a person, people wouldn't need to keep making stuff up, but they keep trying anyway.

Jess is a mature, responsible, accomplished man who has worked hard to become a better person, support his family, and build a life that he enjoys. Rory has spent the majority of her adult life avoiding adult responsibility, prodigiously cheating on or with anyone who has the misfortune to be involved with her, and making one terrible decision after another. I'm sorry if it upsets people that Jess grew up and she didn't, but that happens to be the truth. At the end of AYITL she is homeless, rootless, jobless, living at home with her parents, and pregnant with the baby of a man who is engaged to someone else. The only lifeline she has out of all of that is the one that Jess gave her. Jess is a financially stable business owner with a settled life away from Stars Hollow who is able to act as a support system to his family when they need him. It is not hard to figure out who is in better shape here.

So given all of this, it is highly probable that Jess does hypothetically have a better relationship with his half-sister than Rory has with hers, especially given that Rory has denied the child's relationship with her twice and has been cold to her in the few times they have interacted. Jess is a well-adjusted and generous person who supports the rest of his family, and Rory is not.

More to the point, I do not need anyone's fucking permission to make these comparisons, and I don't appreciate being lectured about what and what isn't canon given the degree to which the aforementioned lies fanon has been spread around over the past year. Far more destructive and unfair theories have been floated around about Jess (not to mention the body shaming of a real person) than the implication that he is a good sibling. Let's just say I'm not surprised that people are upset about plausible speculation about Jess that is positive, but they were more than happy enough to come up with creative theories on why he'll never be good enough for Star Hollow's golden girl.

Honestly? It doesn't matter. The fanon that tried to twist Jess into a bad person or a person who wasn't allowed an identity outside of Rory isn't real, and I know that because I've been watching the show since 2000. I'm not sorry for believing that Jess is a good sibling and cousin based on what I know about his character as an adult, and I'm not sorry for preferring him over Rory or for believing that he deserves much better than the person in AYITL has to offer him. The version of him that is perpetually inferior and submissive to her doesn't exist, and I'm glad that it doesn't.

[darlingsfandom]

Eddie & Steve are local priest from the same church in which you grew up in. You were there every Sunday with your grandma because you should be a "proper young lady" but it always made you upset because you knew your parents DNA made you into the little shithead you are. Still you went to make her happy. She didn't approve of the nose ring or bright red streak in your hair.

"Being a young lady is hard, we've all done things we're not proud of but our souls ache to fix what we think is broken. Our lord made us with flaws but he still loves us because we love ourself." Priest Eddie spoke to your grandma as she cried to him about the fact your clothes were getting more revealing , the new holes in your ears and the fact the streak of red grew more. "I know she seems trouble but she's also a young adult who's been hurt , not by you, but gods plan for her has been twisted, which is why she's here with you. I know you're frustrated with her , maybe you'd like to let her stay here with us for the month. We can have her clean everyday, cook during the week for the homeless when we feed them, do her daily prayers and confessions. It's all free of course." Priest Steve sweet talked your grandma as you sat in the old red chair rolling your eyes before shooting Eddie a wink.

"Oh that would be just lovely father Steven!" She clapped her hands together in enjoyment as you shot up.

"You are all aware that above legal age for drinking for crying out loud! You're acting like I'm sixteen! I've only stayed around to make sure grandma doesn't end up dying alone since we're from a family that's not even a family! I don't have to stay here!" You stood up quickly and grabbed your purse but before your hand wrapped around the handle of the door, Eddie's hand grabbed your wrist.

"Little Lamb, please. Just give it a try. It's only for a month and if you still haven't found the right path, you don't have to come to church anymore." His eyes were soft, pleading almost as he ran his finger tips over the veins in your wrist. It made your head spin a little bit as your lip twitched a bit. "Whatever , I'll give it a try." Your eyes rolled back into your head as Eddie and Steve's grinned ear to ear.

"I have faith you two will turn her from a harlot to a good child of god!" Your grandma gave her biggest smile and grabbed her own purse before grabbing your arm. "She'll be back tonight fathers. Gotta get her packed up." You once again rolled your eyes but when you looked back at Father Eddie and Father Steve, their smiles seemed crooked and eyes were no longer soft this time they were blown and covered in lust. There was no way they were men of god, not if you had anything to do with it.

Could I turn this into a series ?? Maybe? Yes ? No?

[theoceanoasis]

I would love to see a Part 2 of Hot Rod being a housekeeper! Does Soundwave try to woo him?

His cassettes watched in amusement as he stumbled around their new housekeeper embarrassing himself.

Hot Rod didn't seem to mind as he worked on cleaning their home just happy to have work.

Eventually he found his footing and managed to have a normal conversation with Soundwave. The two hit it off really well and it wasn't long before Soundwave was inviting him on dates.

Even with the war going on he still managed to find a way for the two of them to have a nice time. When he learned Hot Rod was homeless and living in a shelter he let him stay in their home.

Before Hot Rod had arrived Soundwave was always stressed and would never take time of himself. Which would lead to him getting sick and having migraines.

With Hot Rod around he'd take breaks to speak with him and seemed to be happier. Something that brought all of his cassetticons joy.

They all liked Hot Rod who was really nice and never treated them differently because they were a cassette or a mechanimal likes others.

They enjoyed being around him and would invite him to things like their weekly movie night. Where they'd find ways to make Soundwave and Hot Rod sit together.

The two of them looked so cute, all happy and in love. All of them wondered when they would make it official and made bets with each other on when and how it would happen.

At first they had a rough start which was his fault. Hot Rod was so beautiful especially his mind and he found it hard to focus when he was around. He was always distracted by his beauty and trying to dive into his mind.

Eventually he got used to Hot Rod and the two of them would talk while he worked. He enjoyed listening to Hot Rod speak and sometimes he'd bring up some great ideas.

He had a feeling that he'd been part of some kind of rebel group from the way he talked. It sounded like he had experience dealing with Functionalists.

Even with the war going on Hot Rod had hope. Something he'd been starting to lose. It was hard when all he saw was pain and destruction.

That's why he was shocked to learn that Hot Rod was living in a shelter after his home was destroyed. He immediately invited him into his own. Because by that point he knew his cassettes saw him as family and he couldn't imagine him living in a shelter. When he could do something about it.

The two of them hung out more now that Hot Rod lived with them. He knew the cassettes were pushing the two of them together. They'd always invite Hot Rod places and make sure they sat together.

He was still nervous not wanting to say the wrong thing and ruin everything. When he asked Hot Rod on a date he could have never imagined he'd say yes. He knew the reputation he had and was worried Hot Rod would think he didn't care for him.

Even with the war going on he managed to find some nice spots for them to go on a date. Hot Rod always seemed happy and it looked like their dates were a success.

He enjoyed spending time with Hot Rod and it felt like life was better and brighter ever since Hot Rod came into his life. He was happier and his cassettes were happier as well.

One day the cassetticons we're gone and the two of them were sitting together watching TV. He wrapped an arm around his shoulder and Hot Rod scooted closer.

One minute they were watching the movie and the next moment they were making out.

Hot Rod climbed into his lap and he couldn't resist. Not when he looked so perfect like that.

Hot Rod ended up bouncing in his lap. The two of them moaning as his spike pressed deep into his valve.

Hot Rod felt so good around him and he couldn't stop himself from coming inside of him. Not when his walls squeezed his spike so perfectly. Hot Rod gasped his whole body shaking as he overloaded.

The two of them cuddled afterwards with Hot Rod still sitting on his spike, letting them go a few more rounds until they were finally satisfied.

As fast as Hot Rod had come into his life he was suddenly gone. He'd woken up one day to find his room empty and a note left behind telling him that he was sorry and that he had to leave and get off world. He then thanked him for giving him the money to do so.

He felt blindsided as he read the letter over and over again wondering what he was missing. Hot Rod never gave any sign that he wanted to leave their planet or that he was saving up.

He always seemed happy there and he thought they'd build a life together. He thought Hot Rod loved him and that he wanted to be with him.

After that he fell into a depression. With Hot Rod gone it was like all the joy was sucked out of his life. He threw himself into his work refusing to let himself feel. He focused on the Decepticons and ignored his cassetticons worried looks. He was fine and this was for the best. He had work that needed to be done and Autobots that needed to be destroyed. He couldn't think about Hot Rod or how much he missed him.

[strawheart-pirate]

Carols

Eustass Kid x gn!Reader

December 7th 2023

Words: 657

CW: SFW, modern AU, fluff, established relationship, a sour mood and a happy end

It was your tradition to help out at the annual charity bazaar for the homeless, and this time your boyfriend came along. He was in a sour mood until something piqued his interest and you enjoyed the most unique carols of the season.

The honking of Kid's truck was your signal to get going. You grabbed your bag and jumped happily into the passenger seat of the huge truck.

"Hey Kid! I'm so excited about today." You gave him your biggest smile.

"Do we really have to help at the homeless bazaar?" Kid groaned. He was in a bad mood. Why should he help at all? Nobody gave a fuck about him. He was proud of himself for making it without help. Why should he help others?

"Because it's my family tradition and you're my boyfriend. I won't force you to join, but please give it a try. If you really don't like it, we can leave early, okay?" You explained it to him. You wanted him to enjoy it, to share the tradition with you, but you knew his past and wouldn't force him to stay if he wanted to go.

He rolled his eyes and asked. "When can we leave?"

"We should stay at least three hours."

"Then three hours it is. And not a second more." He groaned and made his point.

Kid's spirits dropped even lower when you arrived at the charity bazaar. One of the organizers showed you around and explained your duties. You listened to her and kept a smile on your face, even though you were worried about Kid's mood. He wasn't listening at all, and his frown was very prominent. You thanked the organizer as she led you to your table and left. The table was full of toys and your job was to sell them.

"Hey Kid, I think we got a good job. This part of the hall isn't as crowded as the food corner." I smiled at him.

"Yeah... Seems like it..." He replied indifferently, ignoring you.

You sighed and put on your Christmas hat. Time to get to work.

Two of the three hours went by fast. You sold a lot of toys, and the smiles on your customers' faces were precious. Kid sat far in the back, ignoring what was going on. He only responded when you spoke to him directly or asked him to give you something.

Suddenly a melody could be heard from the other side of the hall. It was an electric guitar and the first notes of Metallica's "Enter Sandman" rang out. Kid pricked up his ears and was gone before you could say a word. You continued your work because you couldn't just leave your table to go check on your boyfriend. The song ended and one of the organizers announced that this was a little jam session as a thank you from the homeless. As the next notes flooded the room, you got goosebumps. You would recognize the sound of that guitar anywhere and a smile crept across your face as the distinctive sound of Kid's electric guitar filled the room. When did he get his guitar? Was it already in the truck on the way there? It didn't matter, and you began to gently sway to the beat.

Two hours turned into five, and it was already dark outside. Your table was empty and you went to one of the organizers to give him the money. He thanked you warmly and you promised to come back next time. With or without your boyfriend. As you made your way to the musicians, you could see Kid jamming happily with the homeless people. His grin was captivating, and you watched from a distance as they challenged each other and had fun. They got a generous tip, and when the event was over, you walked up to him. He smiled and instinctively put his arm around you. You smiled back and gave him a silent kiss on the cheek as you walked back to the truck. You got in and the Kid pulled out of the parking lot.

"Let's do this again next year," he said with a smile as you drove home.

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[bluestar22x]

Finding Eden: Chapter 3

Summary: You and Zach have a confrontation with the Canadian Border Patrol

Pairing: Zach Wellison x F!Reader

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Fowl language, violence, mentions of blood, hurt/comfort, pov changes

Word Count: 3,250(ish)

Author's Note: A little late posting this with my major writer's block and real life kicking my ass, but it's here!

xxx

You weren't sure what you'd been expecting, but it wasn't what you'd found.

There was no river separating Washington state from Canada, no fence, no rock wall. Just a simple but obvious line of dirt and grass through the thick forest both countries shared. A line that had once been completely void of trees, but had quickly been invaded by young saplings and stubborn weeds that loved to grow just about anywhere.

You only knew it had been treeless once because Zach had told you so.

"You didn't know what the border looked like?"

"I never looked it up," you'd replied. "My family never visited Canada and my school never taught it."

He pursed his lips. "Huh, I always thought it was common knowledge."

You didn't think he'd intended to make you feel stupid, but you'd felt foolish anyway. Your eyes darted away from his, and you distracted yourself by stroking Athena's head as heat rose to the surface of your cheeks.

"Nightfall should be in a few hours," Zach pressed on, oblivious to your embarrassment. "We should catch some shut eye. It's going to be a long night."

Anxiety replaced your self-consciousness, something like dread sinking low into the pit of your stomach as you nodded at him in agreement.

Rest would make your mind sharper, and you knew you'd need all your brain power if you ran into trouble on the other side of the line.

Something in your gut told you it wouldn't be easy.

If only your gut hadn't been right.

x

Zach woke up to booming thunder and heavy rain, unpleasant sounds in any survival scenario, as far as he was concerned, but especially on that particular night.

A storm meant muffled sound. A storm meant a darker night. A storm meant boot prints that could be followed.

"Maybe we shouldn't leave tonight," you murmured as you sat up beside him, still in your sleeping bag just as he was.

"The longer we stay here, the more we risk being noticed by a border patrol officer," Zach stated with a sigh. "And I don't wanna turn back. Let's wait for the rain to slow down and head out."

"Okay," you said quietly with no hint of a protest.

It bothered him, how quickly you'd come to trust his judgement in less than a week. He didn't feel worthy of it. Not that night.

He'd never tried to cross a border illegally before, had never done anything illegal back when it mattered. Even when he'd thrown fists while he was living out on the streets, it had always been in self defense. He'd always had a temper, but he had managed to restrain himself most of the time to avoid attention from law enforcement.

Technically he had broken one rule because he had loitered many times, but fuck that law. He'd always thought it was just used as an excuse to shoo homeless away like they were unsightly vermin, even though during after hours there were no customers to scare away.

He knew how to be sneaky, it was part of his training in the marines, and he'd put it to good use on the streets so he could linger in places people didn't want him to in order to stay warm, but this was different.

He was going into hostile territory, the kind where he could end up dead, and he had no real back up. You were solely relying on him to get you both to safety and he felt the weight of that responsibility. He was the one who'd suggested you come with him, after all.

At least you knew how to handle a gun.

You dozed back off while waiting for the weather to calm, Athena's head resting on your covered ankles, also asleep, but Zach stayed wide awake, his nerves stealing away any drowiness that had been left in him.

Nearly an hour later the downpour turned into a drizzle and the thunder quieted into the background.

He shook you awake gently. "Time to go."

You nodded at him drowsily and for a brief moment he could see fear flash in your eyes before you masked it with bravery. For some reason it made him feel proud.

Neither of you talked much as you shoved your belongings back into your bags, packed up the tent, and scarfed down some cold canned veggies once again before making your short trek to the border.

Standing inches from the invisible line drawn through the stripped down patch of forest, apprehension stole Zach's breath. His eyes darted towards your form beside him, your company now a reassurance, and he found your eyes watching him, the same emotions he felt mirrored in them.

"Ready?" he questioned, not sure if he was asking you alone or also himself.

You gave him a curt nod. "Ready."

Together, shoulders almost brushing, you made the crossing.

x

You found immediate relief when you entered the thick growth of trees on Canada's side of the border, but you did not allow yourself to fully relax. At any moment you could come across a mounted officer riding along the line and you knew full well the interaction would not be pleasant if you and Zach were caught, even if your lives were spared. If.

Canada had been hit hard during the third war and the following years, but it hadn't become lawless like the United States. In fact, it had become more strict, and their government had a zero tolerance law for anarchists. Since they'd deemed most Americans anarchists after the riots, they would not let any into their country without heavy vetting that made it basically impossible for them to be permitted to do so, nevermind gain citizenship.

To the Canadian border patrol, it was much easier to shoot an American than go through the trouble of vetting them. Especially if they were crossing illegally.

The oversaturated ground squelched under your boots but the sound was thankfully muffled by the pitter patter of rain that was still coming down.

Your lungs ached from how often your breaths were catching and you had to remind yourself to breathe without gasping when you remembered how to properly do so.

You let Zach lead the way, giving him a yard's gap, but both your weapons were out, ready to be fired if need be.

He was as tense as you were, alert even more so, eyes constantly scanning your surroundings, peering into the dark forest intensely despite not being able to see much without a moon or stars to light the night.

You didn't see or hear your worst fear until it was too late.

"Hey!" A man shouted in the distance as you, Zach, and Athena were ambling over the first two lane road you'd come across since entering the country.

You snapped your head in the direction of the voice, spotting a uniformed middle aged man on a large black horse charging at you from a quarter mile down the road.

Your mouth went dry and like a deer in headlights you froze, even though your mind was screaming at you to run. Even though you could hear Athena barking in warning.

Three pairs of eyes and ears and the patrol had still managed to notice you first.

Stupid storm.

You felt Zach yank your right arm hard, dragging you into the cover of the evergreen forest, and your legs started functioning again, pumping hard to keep up with his longer strides.

The thick brush didn't stop the mounted officer from trailing you, his horse barreling through the branches in their path at an alarming speed. You didn't look back, but you could hear the horse's hoof beats getting louder and louder.

The horse and rider were closing in when you crashed into Zach, who had suddenly halted in front of you.

"Why'd you stop?" you nearly screamed, panicked.

He was starring ahead, hands raised, his gun slung over his shoulder uselessly, and your eyes tracked to where he was looking.

Another mounted officer, this one on a chestnut horse, was blocking your path from a few yards off, his shotgun aimed at Zach's chest.

"Where did you think you were going?" the second man growled furiously.

Zach's eyes darted away from him briefly, to his left, and you noticed the thick brush there, just as you assumed he had.

He tugged on your sleeve in the same direction, confirming it without words. Giving you a heads up in one quick gesture. Warning you about what he was going to ask you to do.

"RUN!" he shouted.

You both bolted for the brush, and you heard the second officer's shotgun discharge. You flinched instinctively but kept going. More shots rang out.

Everything was a blur around you as you ran for your life, breaths puffing out of you painfully, heart pounding against your rib cage.

You could hear both patrol officers shouting to each other and their horses' snorts as they struggled to maneuver their massive bodies through the dense foliage, the trees' bendy branches snapping back into their riders' faces and chests painfully as they weaved around their trunks.

You tripped over a loose rock almost as big as your foot and felt your ankle flare with pain, but you pushed yourself to keep going, knowing that if you stopped to rest it you wouldn't have time to heal before a bullet was embedded in your head or chest.

Luckily it didn't hurt for long.

Your ankle was better by the time you and Zach reached a cliff side a few minutes later. However, while you were more than ready to speed around it in an attempt to put more distance between you and the officers on horseback, he was looking up.

"If we can climb this, we'll lose them," he told you confidently.

"We don't have climbing gear."

He pointed at a dip in the rock, a path that slowly winded up the cliff. It couldn't be natural, but it must've been made a long time ago, judging by the weathered state of the gray rock.

You pursed your lips, unconvinced. "I'm never this lucky."

"Let's go."

Zach stepped ahead of you to start the climb but you halted him, arm out, mouth agape. You'd finally noticed the patch of dark crimson seeping through his shirt at his left shoulder.

"Did you get shot?" you asked in dismay. You felt a swoop in your stomach, as if it had dropped.

"It went through and through," he answered through gritted teeth. "I'll survive."

"Not if we don't get that bleeding to stop," you hissed, forcing yourself to stay quiet when you wanted to shout. "I'm watching the blood stain on your shirt grow in real time."

"Can't stop here," he insisted. "We've got to get higher up first."

You gave him a disapproving look but allowed him to continue forward, knowing that arguing with him would not accomplish anything. He had that stubborn look in his eyes many people got when they'd made their final decision.

The path was narrow, maybe six inches across, but you were able to follow Zach up slowly with Athena tailing you. Everyone, even the dog, was careful as you all made your way to higher ground. You made sure not to look down the entire time, not wanting to risk your old fear of heights suddenly springing forth.

You were about five minutes in and the rain had just ceased when you reached a flat area carved into the rock big enough for a couple small tents to fit, the perfect stopping point, and it wasn't a moment too soon.

Zach had just managed to wrestle Athena out of view of the ground below when the mounted officers found their way to the cliff.

"They must've gone up there!" the second one exclaimed.

"Fuckin' Americans," you heard the first one grumble. "Forget them. The horses can't get up there and I'm not waiting them out in this damn forest all night. We'll call it in."

The second one hummed his agreement and you breathed a sigh of relief when you heard the sound of their horses' hooves fading as they trotted off.

You were so relieved you forgot Zach was injured until he prompted himself up against the backside of the tiny safe zone and groaned loudly.

When you glanced at him his eyes were closed tight, painfully. He was holding his right hand to his wound, trying to put as much pressure on it as possible in his current state. He looked far too pale and shaky for your liking.

You knelt beside him quickly, shrugging your backpack off to search for the medical supplies you'd had on you for weeks. You scrambled to pluck out all the items you thought you could use to treat his wound. Your filled spare water bottle, a few packaged gauze pads, medical tape, medical bandages, and a tiny set of scissors.

You'd never dressed any wound before, let alone a bullet wound, but you'd watched enough reality medical shows back in the day to have picked up a few things.

"Need to take off your shirt," you informed Zach.

"Not even gonna let me take you out on a date first?" he quipped, choking on a chuckle.

"We've already had several meals together and shared a tent the past five nights," you stated, playing into his jest, knowing his type. You'd been raised by one after all. "Don't be shy now."

He gawked at you for a second, surprised by your engagement in his banter, then broke out into a weak grin. "Shy is definitely one thing I'm not."

He nodded at you to go for it and you carefully unbuttoned the olive green button down shirt he'd put on the previous morning before gently removing the damp clothing from his body and setting it down on a boulder beside you as he automatically covered his injury with his right hand again.

"Let me see," you ordered him as you peeled his hand away from it.

The blood had already slowed down quite a bit, a promising sign, but you'd still need to take care of both sides of his wound to minimize the chance of it getting infected.

You used the water on it first, not being shy about pouring the whole bottle out over Zach's damaged shoulder. He winced but took it silently, watching as you worked.

You taped a couple squares of gauze pads onto his exit wound then the front after drying the area off with a clean cotton cloth, or as clean as it could be hanging out in your pack. The final touch was the ACE bandage you wrapped around both his upper arm and across his chest a few times. A technique for bandaging shoulders that you hoped would add enough pressure to completely stop the bleeding and stabilize his arm long enough for it to begin healing.

"Not bad," Zach decided after examining your handiwork. "You ever take a First Aid class?"

"Nope, learned that from the Health channel," you declared.

He gave you a crooked smile. "Who says TV was just mindless entertainment?" He glanced down at the bandage again. "Thanks."

"No big deal," you said. "Least I could do after everything."

Your eyes fell on his bare upper body and for the first time since you'd removed his shirt you dared to let them linger, noting his shaved broad, carved chest and lean waist. Your friends in high school had once called men like him Dorito shaped, and you all had found it very appealing. You still did, finding it necessary to swallow before you could look at his face again.

Your mouth was dry when you spoke. "Do you have any shirts in your pack that might be more clean than the others?"

"The gray Henley," he replied.

You searched his pack for it, slowly helping him ease into it, then his fleece jacket, trying to ignore the jump of his biceps under your fingertips as you did so.

"I'm going to pitch the tent," you informed him after, in a tone that didn't allow room for arguing. "Stay put for now. Let the bandage do its job." You glanced over to Athena and pointed at Zach. "Make sure he doesn't get up yet."

The dog stoically ambled over to his side and laid down against his right hip, head resting on her paws, but eyes still wide and alert.

"Good dog," you murmured.

"That she is," Zach agreed proudly, curling his right arm around her, dried bloody hand and all. "You sure you don't want any help?"

"I know how to set up a tent," you told him. "I need you around for other reasons. So rest up."

"You say that like it'll be easy with a throbbing shoulder," he muttered before shutting his eyes, and you had to wait and observe his chest quietly rising and falling a few times before you were assured enough that he would be alright to turn your focus to the tent.

It took you a while to pitch it by yourself, you'd never done it alone before, but you managed with your limited limbs and knowledge.

Once it was finished and you had switched into a dry orange cotton shirt and a jean jacket you'd found before you met Zach, you strolled over to him. At some point he had actually fallen asleep, despite the pain he was in. You squatted down next to him and woke him with a small squeeze to his right arm.

"Still got an hour or so before dawn," you estimated as his eyes fluttered open. "Let's get into the tent where it's warmer and sleep a little longer."

He mumbled his agreement and you assisted him up onto his feet, letting him lean on you a bit, his legs still a little shaky from the blood loss.

He was so warm you shivered once he parted from you to crawl into his sleeping bag. Not even your own bag could keep the night's chilly damp air from seeping into you again and your teeth were chattering after a few minutes of lying there in the dark. You were tempted to go outside and start a fire, but you didn't want to attract unwanted attention with the smoke. You didn't want the officers to know exactly where you were.

Zach was sound asleep again, clearly too exhausted to be conscious for long, but Athena noticed your shaking and stood so she could snuggle up against you instead of her usual spot right in the middle of you both. You smiled as she plopped down practically on top of you before turning over and burying your nose into her neck.

You did your best to not allow your lips to quiver as her body heat warmed you back up and your mind recounted the night's events with all its horrifying highlights.

You were safe. Athena was safe. Zach was alive and already looking healthier, though he was still weak and in a lot of pain. Your trio being alive was all that mattered. That and the fact that the officers would not be there to trail you in the morning. You repeated those assurances in your head over and over like a mantra.

Eventually you repeated it so much the tears that had threatened to fall dried under your closed eyelids and you were able to slip into a dreamless sleep.

Athena didn't budge the entire time you slept.

xxx

Tagged: @morallyinept @harriedandharassed @love-affair-with-fandoms @captain-jebi

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Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

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[autisticrosewilson]

I read your wilson headcanons and I would like to hear more if you don't mind. Or anything about Tanya and the rest of deathstroke Inc. (That's what theyre called aren't they?)

I haven't a clue but boy oh boy do I want to talk about them. Uh go in with caution, there's discussion of experimentation and eating disorders and childhood homelessness in Tara and Poppy's parts. I know you specifically asked for Tanya but I talked the most about Tara because I realized I haven't really made a post yet about my version of her story, and I figured now would be a good time to get into that.

Be warned I haven't read Tanya's Titans era yet so these are pretty solely based on her time with Defiance.

She definitely went to a private school, and it's not an experience she would wish on her worst enemy. Had really long braids as a kid but too many people pulled on them so she decided on the iconic pom poms.

I don't remember if her dad was ever mentioned so she primarily grew up in a single parent household, which didn't really bother her as a kid but she did have to be more responsible at a young age.

She just seems like a volleyball girly to me, I don't know. Probably did a lot of sports and had a million clubs. Never took a class that wasn't AP. My girl was a PRODIGY.

Band kid 💔💔💔 (yes she went to band camp, no she doesn't want to talk about it. Clarinet player.)

Begged her mom to let her come to the lab, she always knew she wanted to follow in her mom's footsteps.

Going from having a sous chef to living with Slade "joined the military at sixteen so he can only make MREs" was not a change she appreciated.

I feel like she was scouted for modeling as a teen and she thought about it but ultimately decided that she wanted to be known for her brain and not her face so she turned it down. She still brags about it though.

She forced Slade to take etiquette classes so he'd stop eating like a barbarian and embarrassing her in front of her coworkers. He already knew most of it but he pretends to be clueless so she'll keep going with him. This is like peak bonding to him

Poppy they could never make me forget about you<33 literally my daughter if anyone cares.

Everyday the fact that she didn't get a last name makes me froth at the mouth, I have to do everything myself around here. I've decided it's Hayes, but she doesn't really use it so it doesn't really matter.

Firstly there is something so real to me about trans fem Poppy (She/They) and I just need everyone to stick with me.

So I don't think Poppy is her original name anyway, I think she came up with Poprocket first and then spawned Poppy from there. I don't think she remembers anything about her time before the Dark Side Club, and I don't think she wants to. I think she checked, y'know just to see if there was a police report or missing posters. Nothing. So I don't think she ever went out of her way to find her previous family.

Banned from multiple public places for dying her hair in their bathrooms and staining their sinks pink.

She is a biter she will bite you it doesn't even matter if she likes you or what the situation is if you get close enough to her teeth she will fucking bite. Tara has many imprints of her teeth and is immune to them at this point.

She's definitely a little chubby and a little short for her age, I think her time on the streets + in the Dark Side Club made her malnourished and she kind of hoards food/over eats to make up for it

She was the kid in the galaxy print leggings that hissed at you in the hallways I fear, drew the Dan & Phil cat whiskers on her face everyday. Original Tumblr user, mostly reblogs cat videos. Warrior Cats kid, used to roleplay her catsona with her friends on the playground

Had to be physically removed from the room when they started dissecting frogs in bio, Slade had to pick her up because she was crying so much and they couldn't get her to stop, he ended up taking her for ice cream

Tanya and Poppy for all they're polar opposites get along pretty well. I think Tanya gets really protective of her, definitely the one Slade has to answer to before he does anything with Poppy or Tara

Tanya is the one who teaches Poppy to do makeup and they have little spa days

Poppy keeps bringing stray cats home and Slade keeps trying to say no but Tanya doesn't see an issue so she buys all the stuff for them herself

Tanya tells her gross stories about shit she saw when she was interning at a hospital while Poppy's eating to make her gag

Poppy constantly steals Tanya's clothes and it always leads to a fight first thing in the morning when Poppy tries to wear Tanya's crop tops or god forbid her Christian Dior perfume to school

They're like the sisters ever and no one even cares, DC let me in the writers room

Tara my love, they didn't do you ANY justice. The SA storyline just... wasn't done well, or handled with any respect, and it kind took away all the interest I had in Slade because the most interesting part of his character is his family and their dynamics but I couldn't focus on that when he was being weird about underage girls so it really just kind of threw me off, so I guess my prognosis is that it just,,,,didn't happen in my version of events.

Like there was a weirdly codependent father-daughter bond where he projected onto her, because she was looking for a family and he was coping with Rose blaming him for Lili's death, but there was nothing sexual or romantic because that's fucking weird and I don't want to write about it

I'm including some of her New 52 origin but I'm changing it a little, so instead of growing up with Beast Boy (he keeps his original origin) her story coincides with Poppy's since The Ravagers are so similar to the Dark Side Club anyway.

Tara is raised in the castle as a maid like her mother, Nadia, but when her powers show up she's exiled by queen Illiona who sends her and her mother away to a cabin in the middle of the snow laden woods, far away from anyone else. Well, anyone except for Dr. Helga Jace, a woman claiming to be a doctor for meta humans with a grudge against the king. In the end she convinced Nadia that Tara's best bet was being fostered by a family in the U.S. to which the woman agreed. What they didn't know was that Tara's "foster" family were agents of the Dark Side Club.

I always imagined Tara with a Russian accent for reasons I can't explain, but I was vindicated by Markovia being a part of the Soviet Union

She used to have brown hair down to her hips but the scientists cut it short, and when she escaped she bleached it to hide better.

She hates doctors because they remind her too much of the experiments, so Slade only lets her get checks ups by Dr. Villain, who is only allowed to do house calls

Jokes about her and Rose being twinsies because they're both bastard kids

Her and Brion used to be close as friends and he even sent her letters once in a while when she was exiled, I like to think he's still looking for her but she doesn't trust he wouldn't tell her location if she sought him out

They grew up close, like their mothers before them, and I imagine that Brion learned combat as part of his lessons and Tara would always beg him to teach her. The one time he actually did she was such a natural at sword fighting he joked she'd make a better knight than a maid

Crazy good at strategy games, for all she's never been interested in academia I think she's crazy smart and a thorough planner. Maybe a little bit of a control freak. It's something her, Slade, and Rose all bond over

Her superhero name being Terra and her civilian last name being Markov is soooo stupid, I can buy that she as a homeless 15 year old came up with it but I refuse to believe that Slade let her out into the real world with that. Her civilian name is Terra Hayes and her alias is Bishop (chess connotation = Defiance uniform + the bird has similar colors to her independent costume)

She knew very little English before Slade, luckily she came to him after he had some practice teaching English (Rose also didn't speak much English at first)

She got very good at cooking, cleaning, sewing, gardening, and the like young so she was always relatively independent to begin with but a lot of those old hobbies remind her of her mom now, who she doesn't know the status of

She and Poppy survived together on the streets, Poppy was 11 or 12 to her 14 or 15 so she took the big sister role pretty seriously

Slade found them together and Tara initially attacked him but he managed to talk her down after getting his ass kicked

They both have food issues, understandably, but where Poppy tends to over eat to the point of getting sick Tara will stop eating for days if she feels like food is running low so that Poppy can eat more

Probably one of the most financially responsible of Slades kids, arguably too cautious about money at first. There's a difference between knowing her mentor is rich and processing it, and she's not entirely sure what to do with big displays of wealth. She worked in the castle, she was a servant no matter how well taken care of, she's not meant for the princess treatment.

She does like going with Tanya to her work parties and high society events though, she learned a lot about social etiquette and politics as part of her curriculum and she's very charismatic when she has the chance to be

Put this girl in a theater class!!! She loves undercover missions, especially ones where she's undercover as like a waiter or a chef or something, she's thriving. Sometimes she gets so caught up in the job that she forgets about the actual Job™️ though.

Her and Joey put on wigs and coordinated outfits,take their fake IDs to fancy restaurants and pretend to be a proposing couple to get free food. They don't even need to they just think it's funny.

Sunny is an enigma, I almost hesitated to include her just because we know so little but Slade does explicitly say she's family and I like that she bullies him so I decided to.

Once again no last name, and it's debatable if Sunny is even her actual first name. I think she tells everyone she meets something different so no one knows if she's lying or not. The only person who knows her actual first name is Slade, but he doesn't use it because she doesn't.

She low-key gives estranged mob daughter to me, really funny if she has a whole family that she just doesn't talk to. Probably ran away to be a mercenary after one too many attempts to marry her off.

I'm not saying she intentionally copied Laura Croft but I am saying that she spent an inordinate amount of time playing Tomb Raider as a kid

Can and will whoop ANYBODY'S ass in Just Dance, her and Joey aren't allowed to team up

Very competitive about family game nights, she has resorted to physical violence multiple times

She has a lot of tattoos but only ones that can be easily covered, claims it's just so she's harder to identify but I feel like she grew up in a strict household and she's got lingering paranoia about self expression

Acts really unbothered all the time but she has never once won the idgaf war

She's about college age but I don't think she actually goes, never all that interested in school but she's definitely been to some college parties. She tried to bring home a frat boy once and the whole family collectively bullied him so bad he ghosted her and none of them ever let her live it down

Steals Slades leather jackets and he complains about it but he's started specifically picking out ones she'd like and modifying them all with extra padding and armor that he wouldn't really need just so she'll be safer when she wears them

Sunny's not invited to Tanya's work parties anymore because she shows up high, eats all the food, and then complains halfway through about being tired till someone takes her home early

Caught Poppy doing her eyeliner with a fine liner sharpie and dragged her to the nearest store to get her actual makeup

The fights her and Tanya have over clothes are the worst because they're similar sizes. Sunny wore one of Tanya's EXPENSIVE dresses to a college party and it's a good thing the dress was dark because there are definitely blood stains. Tanya accidentally shrunk Sunny's favorite pair of jeans in the dryer and let's just say one of Tanya's pom poms was a little sparser than the other.

Poppy made glitter bombs to use in the field but one time it missed and hit Sunny on her motorcycle to this day Sunny is still finding it in her armor and sometimes her tires leave faint glitter tracks

One year for Halloween they tried to do matching Charlie's Angles costumes but it was so unrecognizable without the three of them together and they all had different things they were going to (Sunny had a costume party, Tanya was handing out candy, Poppy was going tricker treating) that no one knew who they were supposed to be

Poppy, Tanya, Sunny, Tara, and Rose all have girls nights which can range from your average sleepover to them terrorizing the town, either way Slade always has to clean up the mess

Thanks for the ask and sorry it took forever! This kind of got buried under a bunch of other notifications lmao