#because I want to/independent of other people's reactions now

[funnypages]

Lessons of Resistance from WWII: The Rosenstrasse Protest and Evacuation of the Danish Jews

So a long history rant I think people should know about and keep in mind for the future. I want to talk to people about a little talked about story in the history of WWII, the Rosenstrasse protest: the one time, during the height of the Holocaust, when the German public protested against the deportation of Jews; and they won.

1942-early 1943 was arguably the height of Nazi Germany; with most of the continent occupied, allied, or neutral to them. It was also 2 years into the Final Solution phase of the Holocaust, the planned mass killing of Jews. In February 1943, the government began the final round-up of the 20,000 remaining Jews in Berlin. This included a category of Jews that the government had previously avoided deporting: Jews married to gentile Germans. While the Nazis had cracked down on these relationships since they came to power, there were at this time 1,800 mixed couples remaining in Berlin; almost all Jewish men married to gentile women (After the consolidation of power under Hitler, more German men had divorced their Jewish partners than women).

When these Jewish men were arrested, hundreds of their non-Jewish spouses descended upon the building they were held in, bringing with them friends and families, screaming for their husbands to be released. The protests were so large, that the Nazis could not suppress news of it spreading through Germany and internationally; and they were also genuinely afraid that arresting or shooting these women could cause the situation to spiral even further into an outright uprising. As a result, the men were released, and most of them survived the war.

Now there are a lot of critiques and analyses that can be done of the protest, about privilege and gender, and noting that nothing was said about releasing the 18,000 other Berlin Jews set to be deported to camps. Still, the reaction that the public had to these deportations, combined with the shockingly hopeful story of Denmark in the Holocaust, gives some valuable lessons in how fascists can be thwarted.

Demark was invaded by Germany in 1939 and was given a degree of autonomy, being treated as the "model protectorate." While the Danish government did acquiesce to demands to ban Communist and Socialist political parties, they refused to enact racial laws targeting Danish Jews. While not to say anti-semitism didn't exist in Denmark, for reasons debated by historians and sociologists, Denmark did not have a strong history of "othering" its Jewish community, and it was largely seen as an accepted part of Danish society.

In September 1943, German plans to deport the Danish Jewish community to concentration camps leaked to the Danish government, which then alerted leaders of the Jewish community. Over 3 weeks churches, civil servants (notably mostly working independently of the government), political parties, the Danish resistance (mostly at this point made up of the before mentioned Communists and Socialists), and private individuals helped evacuate 7,220 Jews, plus 686 non-Jewish spouses, by sea to nearby neutral Sweden. For context, the Jewish population of Denmark before the invasion was around 7,800. Of the 580 Danish Jews who failed to escape to Sweden, 464 were arrested; however, work by Swedish and Danish groups saw 425 of them released. Further, when the war ended, it was discovered that 116 Danish Jews had been hidden by their neighbors. In all, a shocking 99% of Denmark's Jewish population survived the Holocaust; the most of any occupied nation in Europe.

I tell both of these stories because they show what fascists and authoritarians are aware of: the limits of their power. They are aware of the simple fact so much of their power comes from average people just accepting what they do with no pushback. These groups thrive on atomization, demonization, and otherization. Because when people refuse to let their neighbors be attacked, that's when issues pop up. There were other individuals and groups in Germany who spoke out against the Nazis (the White Rose and the Edelweiss Pirates to name a few), but they were small and disorganized, they could be arrested or exiled or killed without much effort. But large groups of resistance? How do you arrest or kill those without stopping their families and friends from protesting? And the foot soldiers enacting their agenda tend to get antsy if there is large-scale pushback to them. The big guys in charge might be safe, but them? They are vulnerable to being fired, sued, arrested, or ostracised if they are seen enacting unpopular policies. Such actions put authorities on the defensive, stall them, and make them reconsider their tactics; which in the long run, can save lives.

This is what people mean, whether they know it or not, over the last few days when they have been saying "Help those close to you, keep your friends close." They want you to think they are all-powerful. They want you to think they are unstoppable. They want you to think there is no hope in openly denying them. Because they know that if those few people openly defying them become large groups openly defying them, then things spiral out of control.

[musical-chick-13]

Being a fan of female characters in 2000-2010 was very tough.

GOD, IT SURE WAS. WE WERE IN THE TRENCHES. 😭😭😭

[punksocks]

Lilith & His Femme Fatale (18+ Only)

**I tried to make this general but it’s about seduction, I couldn’t pull it lol (fr minors dni!)

*Just based on my observations, only take what resonates

Often Lilith in a man’s birth chart gives less information on him and more information on the type of woman that’s his femme fatale. The type of femme that gives this complex dynamic to the relationship. I would say, similarly to Plutonian influences, this sort of connection charged with such intensity tends to elicit the extreme reaction of either repelling him or making him at least a bit obsessed with finding a way to “obtain” the Lilith person in the relationship.

I think this is always related to Lilith’s folklore of being the untamable wife. He loves her because he can’t control her. But he still wants to try (not always but often imo). Not being able to control her and her seeming so wild and free is one of the many reasons the Lilith person usually brings out the shadow side of the masc person in their connection.

(I think everyone, men/women/enbys/etc, all tend to act out of feminine and masculine energies. The energies of giving and receiving. Action and reaction. Lilith usually throws some upheaval into this because as an untraditional feminine she embodies it all. She dominates whilst not taking any action. Lilith’s sort of chaotic energy throws a wrench in the binary imo. She’s feminine but the effect she has on and within others often puts her outside of the spectrum. I’m speaking about the effect on masculine folks because I believe Lilith pushes them into a power struggle mindset due to her effects and due to our society -and Lilith’s origins- being very patriarchal. With traditional feminine energies there is also a power struggle effect but it’s more like rooted in the feminine power. Like women usually have a default role of using subservience to their advantage- as much as they can- under patriarchy. So the tension with people embodying Lilith manifests in this tension of trying to make the Lilith people conform or outcasting them. There can be underlying s*xual dynamics to this but it usually works out differently/less directly than it does with masc folks.)

Anyway that’s why I believe men/masc people react in such a charged/obsessed way to Lilith energy and why I think it tends to result in this sort of femme fatale dynamic. Now let’s get into it !

-Lilith in Aries: For Lilith in Aries, he’d love an unstoppable woman. Like I noted before (in credit to @zeldasnotes ) this is a strong indicator of a man being a feminist (we love to see it). So this could also indicate a strong attraction to someone that’s in their power, that holds their own, and that is very independent and strong in their own right. He may find himself pushing back on this type of femme, but being impressed and compelled by her when she does take the lead (his mars could show how this dynamic would play out). (You may find yourselves vying for dominance in the connection)

-Lilith in Taurus: A hyperfeminine woman. Obviously, femininity looks different across cultures, but some traits that could show up here would be: a woman with curves, a killer hourglass figure that turns heads; a woman that seems luxurious and well dressed; a woman that feels soft and smells great. Essentially being a Venusian sign, Taurus in Lilith would be absolutely smitten by a beautiful woman that embodied all that soft feminine energy (and took his money lol) (speaking of which, could be a s*x worker or trophy wife type- someone that needs a lot of money/luxury to keep around)

-Lilith in Gemini: A thinker, a woman that outwits you. Someone that keeps you mentally stimulated by challenged your knowledge. Someone that will always make you guess. Very book smart, may be curious about the taboo. Someone that gets their kicks from debating you and testing your textbook knowledge. May also be smitten by dirty talk, talking about the taboo in their intimate time together.

-Lilith in Cancer: A nostalgic nurturer that makes you feel at ease. May embody the bad traits that make you feel especially vulnerable (like familiar toxic behavior). Lilith’ archetype is often an antithesis of cancer’s traditional influence of being the emotional nurturer, so we’d have to assume a bit of corruption here. Just as easily as you could be fueling toxic behavior I’d assume you’d just as easily receive it. So mascs can project onto you and desire to leech off of your nurturing energy.

-Lilith in Leo: A diva. The one that’s in the spotlight without trying at all. Like a burlesque dancer, beautiful and radiant and practically untouchable. Speaking of which they may be smitten with a femme known for her s*x appeal. Whether that’s from having a lot of past partners or being a model or being in s*x work depends on the situation. The Leo person would likely want exclusive access to you after they get their hands on you though (fixed placements can be very possessive, it’s a whole thing)

-Lilith in Virgo: someone with their life together. (I said what I said 👀). A sort of that girl as the kids say :0. She has a meal plan and a routine and a 5 year plan. I’d also wager that this placement is the most likely to have a thing for someone that has their shit so together that it makes the native feel less than. Someone that could shame them and make them feel flawed and insignificant at the drop of a hat (a hat? The hat? Ok). Also likely to be someone that is really subtle but quietly freaky. A good candidate for workplace affairs 🤷🏾‍♀️

-Lilith in Libra: a bombshell babe, a true beauty. Someone who embodies very classy energy. A popular girl, one that you sort of have to work to get the attention of. (A gorgeous femme that distracts others with how beautiful and effortless she is. Pinup material and just as untouchable. Trophy wife vibes but not as intense as Lilith in Taurus (unless this is a 2nd house placement 👀). Also someone that brings a lot of balance and beauty to their surroundings. (She may attract envy due to her looks as well)

-Lilith in Scorpio: S*x personified. Someone with that intense vibe (one of the most likely placements to attract Lilith heavy femmes). Someone that has a presence that holds a lot of power. And a lot of intimate experience or at least a fearless attitude about those taboos. Someone that makes him want to explore those fantasies as a knee jerk reaction (within reason ofc). Someone that can see right through him. Someone that they struggle to gain power over. (Also pretty likely to have a power imbalance or some sort of taboo attached to the dynamic)

-Lilith in Sagittarius: A traveler, a girl struck with wanderlust. Someone you get attached to even though she’s always out of reach. Someone who loves debating and adventure. A philosopher that never stops learning and daring you to broaden your horizons. May be someone from outside of your culture as well. Or someone with a religious background you find socially taboo.

-Lilith in Capricorn: Boss babe all the way. Someone that intimidates others easily and that works very hard. A social climber. A person that knows exactly what they’re after, in that go getter sort of way. Someone mature. Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets. Another possibly of meeting at work, or at least after some sort of public interaction. Another connection where both people are likely vying for dominance. Likely to have themes of restriction show up as well.

-Lilith in Aquarius: manic👏🏾 pixie 👏🏾dream👏🏾 girl👏🏾 (I’m dead*ss). The quirky girl that stands out from the crowd. One of kind in a rebellious way. The other side of fae energy, which is to say that she would be a detached trickster of sorts. Hard to predict, philosophically outside of your comfort zone, impossible to pin down, etc. Someone that forces you to think outside of the box- whether you like it or not. Could bring out the k*nkier side of you. Also pretty likely to bring out the nerdier side of you, for some reason. (Aquarius intelligence ??)

-Lilith in Pisces: fae bae, full stop. A girl like a daydream. Esoteric and ethereal. A person that may be a bit spacey but they’re off floating in space somewhere. Someone creative and subconsciously addictive. Someone that tends to appear in their dreams and tends to be on their minds a lot.

Further Notes:

-Air is most impressed upon by intelligence and uniqueness; water by an emotionally immersive and passionate connection; fire by passion and being dazzled by the person; earth by their material luxury, ambition, and physicality

-water and fire tend to become obsessive over s*xual connections the fastest imo, but it can really mentally affect air and earth placements (it’s that I’m not obsessed but they’re thinking about them all the time and doing god knows what about that 👀)

-fixed Lilith placements can make a masc person a bit more obsessive and possessive over the Lilith energy (especially if they have a fixed Venus/mars)

-Cardinal Lilith placements tend to like to be challenged over taking the lead/dominance in the connection, if underdeveloped they can be rather controlling to their partners as well

-When Lilith is close to a masc’s personal planets I’d say that he may have some sort of archetype/karmic lesson around Lilith heavy femmes (just a significant impact on his life and attitude)

-Houses can show how these energies connect (I wrote this up but the draft deleted itself and I just couldn’t lol 🙃)

[ashwhowrites]

Wow...I have been sitting and working on this draft for MONTHS. I'm so fucking excited that now it's yours to have. I had this idea back in January and I truly think it's a work of art. I'm excited to share it with you all and I truly hope you enjoy it and love it! I had a blast with this idea, and if you loved it let me know! I'd love to continue this relationship in other requests and parts. I love this dynamic 🫶🏻

Buckle up! We've got a slow burn, tooth rotting fluff, and steamy smut.

⚠️SMUT ( no protection, oral, fingering, missionary sex, cock bulge in stomach, edging and I think that's it? ) Age gap but reader is in 20s

Happy again because of you

Older rockstar Eddie x nanny female reader

~~~

Eddie has grown used to the rockstar life, the constant shows, the tours, and many sleepless nights. He also grew used to his marriage. The love was gone, filled with hatred and annoyance. He doesn't remember the last time they had a conversation, it was all fights and silence. One thing he would always be happy about and never outgrown was his children. He loved being a dad more than he loved being a rockstar. His two sons and daughter were the light of his life.

Y/N had been the Munson's nanny for two years. She was twenty-one and needed a job, it paid very well. Over the past two years, she grew very close to the kids. Brex and Nate were twin boys, standing tall at the age of ten, they were wild and a lot like Eddie. Paisley was five and glued to Y/N's side.

Over the years, she watched Eddie and his wife, Mandy go at each other's throats. They fought a lot and Y/N tried to keep the kids away from it. She was a full-day nanny, with the kids the second they woke up and until they went to bed. She didn't have a family and wasn't social enough for a social life. So the Munson family became her favorite people to be around.... except Mandy.

Mandy didn't like Y/N around but also didn't want to be a parent to her kids. Mandy hated how Eddie got along with Y/N so well. She didn't like how they looked at each other and how much they talked. She couldn't help but notice the spark between them and how much it grew the more they were together.

Y/N couldn't ignore how attracted she was to Eddie. He gave the older rockstar dad a whole sexy alter ego. She tried to push down her feelings when the kids raced to the front door to see him, or when he thanked her for making dinner with a touch to her hand. She tried to ignore the tightness of her thighs when he'd get so passionate about something and he'd talk with his whole body. She loved listening to his soothing voice.

~~~

It took briefly two more years before the divorce was finalized. Eddie kept the house, as he was in the main income for it. The boys were twelve and Paisley was seven. Brex and Nate grew more independent and spent time in their rooms. Paisley still adored Y/N and followed her everywhere.

Even though Mandy hired Y/N, she didn't want her service after the divorce. Y/N didn't want to lose her job which provided her with great benefits, so she begged Eddie to let her stay. Eddie agreed because he barely knew how to be a parent. He spent so much time on the road that he wasn't sure what to do.

With Mandy gone and Eddie single, Y/N wanted to make her move. She wasn't sure how fast Eddie could or planned to move on, but she'd hate herself if she had to watch him with another woman again. She didn't want to be aggressive with her moves or creep him out. She had to be smart and read his reactions before it cost her the job.

~

Eddie groaned in the mirror as he tried to fix his tie. He stood in a black suit with nice shoes. He had to attend an award ceremony, and he hated them. He didn't like to dress up and he didn't know how.

"Need a hand?" Eddie jumped and turned to see Y/N leaning against the door.

"You'd think after years of award ceremonies, that I would know how to work a tie." Eddie chuckled, Y/N laughed with him and walked up to him.

She fixed his collar and positioned his tie. She had never been this close to his face before, breathing in the air he let out. His breath smelled of beer and gum, and his body smelled of whisky cologne. Black eyeliner along his eyes. She wanted to purr at the sight of him. How Mandy messed up this badly was unknown to her.

"It's crazy that you've done this for years because you still look so young," Y/N said, purposely taking her time with the tie. "If you look this attractive at forty-five, I can't help but imagine you at the start of your career."

Eddie blinked several times. He tried to understand why Y/N's voice was slow and deep. She had never spoken so seductively towards him before. He slightly coughed, he was probably imagining things.

"Um well, same hair, so many crop tops with ripped jeans. The crop tops were not the look for me." Eddie laughed as he thought back to it. Y/N smiled at the sparkle in his eyes as he talked about his life.

"Well, rockstar. You are all set," Y/N said, smoothing his jacket down his chest. "For the record, I'd kill to be a fangirl seeing Eddie Munson in a crop top." Eddie felt like the tie got tighter around his throat as she walked out.

Did she just flirt with him?

~

"How was your day?" Eddie asked, he always made conversation during dinner when it was just the two of them. The boys liked to eat in the living room with the TV, and Paisley wanted to eat with her dolls.

Y/N wasn't mad about the alone time she got, and it gave her the excuse to sit close.

"Good. My friend called and ranted about this older guy she is seeing." Y/N said.

"How old?" Eddie asked as he sipped on his beer.

"I think in his fifties." Y/N shrugged, but Eddie choked on his drink.

"Why the hell would a young girl date someone that much older?" Eddie questioned.

"Sometimes the older ones have this sort of attraction young guys don't," Y/N said, lifting her foot slightly to rub against Eddie's leg. She placed her head on her palm and turned her head as she looked at him.

Eddie stiffened as he felt her foot run up and down his leg. She has to be hitting on him right?

"Do you believe that?" Eddie choked out. Was it inappropriate to ask that? Why did he hope she'd say yes.

"I do, but only with one man in mind." She said, her fingers moved forward to his hand. But then they were interrupted.

"Y/N! I SPILLED ON LUCY."

Eddie jumped back. He could feel his palms sweating and his throat getting dry. But Y/N seemed cool and collected.

"My boss calls," Y/N joked as she stood up and walked out.

Eddie couldn't help but feel like the air got colder as she walked away. He never once thought of Y/N as more than his kid's nanny. But something in the air shifted and he didn't know what it was.

~

Eddie tried not to think too much about the interaction with Y/N. He didn't want to read the situation wrong, but he swore it felt like she was flirting.

"PAISLEY! LET'S GO." Eddie yelled as he pushed Brex and Nate out the front door.

"SHE' S COMING!" Y/N yelled, Paisley smacked her lips to mix her lip gloss.

"You ready to go dance?" Y/N asked as she held the small girl's hand. Together they walked down the stairs. Eddie smiled as his little girl walked down the stairs in her ballerina costume. He also couldn't help but admire how gorgeous Y/N looked in her black dress.

"Wow you look incredible," Eddie said in awe as he shamelessly looked Y/N up and down.

"Thank you, Daddy!" Paisley smiled as she let go of Y/N's hand to run to him.

Eddie blushed as he leaned down to pick her up. "You're welcome, sunshine. Ready to go to your performance?"

"Yes!" she squealed, Eddie set her back on the floor and she raced to the car.

Eddie coughed as he walked outside, he held the door open as Y/N passed through. His back was to her as he locked the door. He felt her hand on his shoulder and he felt his palms sweat. He turned the key as she leaned and whispered in his ear.

"Thank you for the compliment, Daddy,"

Eddie felt himself twitch in his dress pants as he heard her heels walk off.

He shifted himself before he walked to the car.

~~~

The sun was hot and the absence of wind made everyone on edge. The kids spent all morning screaming at each other. Sometimes when Eddie was away, the kids liked to act up more than usual.

Y/N called for a pool day, and the kids raced to change. She grabbed her bag and dug out her swimsuit, full body coverage since she was around children. But it still flattered her body in a way that made the backyard neighbors stare.

~

Eddie groaned as the heat smacked his face as he got out of the car. His suit stuck to him in the worst ways, he hated that he had a meeting on the hottest day of the year.

He walked into an empty house but could hear screams and splashes. He took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. His fancy shoes echoed against the marble floors as he walked outside.

"DADDY'S HOME!" Paisley cheered

The boys were tossing a football and lost in their world on the other side of the yard.

Y/N chilled in the deep end and swam over to where Eddie stood. She put her hand over her eyes as she looked up, Eddie blocked most of the sun.

She bit her lip as she looked at him. His rolled-up sleeves and expensive watch, with his dress pants.

"Come swim with us, daddy!" Paisley smiled as she swam along the edge of the pool. She plugged her nose and swam under the water.

Eddie smiled back but didn't say anything.

"Yeah, Daddy," Y/N said, her hand slowly running up his leg, "Come swim with us."

Eddie watched as Y/N smirked, her hand rubbing his leg up and down then she gave a soft tug on his pants.

Eddie knew for sure he had to be hitting on him, then. The smirk, the confidence, and the seductive voice. She was doing it all on purpose. And Eddie found himself loving it.

"I gotta go change." Eddie winked, then shoved his hands in his pockets as he turned to walk back into the house.

Y/N watched him leave with a pleased smile.

~~~

Eddie was in the studio with the band, but his head was thinking about Y/N. Thinking about her at the kitchen table, her wearing that dress and whispering in his ear, and her wet swimsuit that clung to every curve she had.

"Dude! You messed up again. What's going on? Women trouble with Mandy?" Gareth asked, he was slightly joking but he knew Eddie's ex was exhausting.

"Well...not exactly Mandy." Eddie sighed. "I think the nanny is hitting on me." He put down his guitar and sat on the big couch.

His band took a break and sat with him.

"Why would that be a bad thing?" Tommy asked

"Why would it be a good thing?" Eddie deflected

"Because she's smoking hot!" Gareth laughed. "I've had a thing for her since she started bringing you lunch."

Eddie felt his jaw clench as he looked over at Gareth. A feeling of anger rushed over his body.

"Facts. I mean the girl is in her twenties, you know that's a wild night." Keith laughed as he nudged Eddie's arm.

"Can you stop talking about her like she's a piece of meat?" Eddie snapped, standing on his feet.

"Ooo someone's getting jealous." Gareth teased

"I'm not jealous!" Eddie fired back

"Really? So, since she seems to be into older guys, mind passing along her number?" Keith smirked. The whole band knew Eddie was jealous and that Y/N wasn't the only one pining.

"Yes, I will, because I'm not jealous. Nor am I interested." Eddie scoffed.

"Oh come on. You are going to tell us that you don't have a thing for her? She's throwing herself at you and you keep dodging it? Why?" Gareth pushed. As Eddie's best friend he always knew Eddie more than he knew himself.

"She's my employee, it's wrong," Eddie argued

"It's not. You are single, she's single. She's of age and can make her own decisions. If she wants you, go for it. You were stuck in a shitty marriage, allow yourself to feel good and have fun."

"Mandy would be pissed." Eddie groaned.

"Yeah well you ain't married anymore, not your problem how she feels," Gareth said.

"Doesn't matter because you aren't interested, remember?" Keith added in

"Shut up," Eddie said as he smacked Keith's arm.

It seemed Eddie had a lot to think about.

~

Eddie felt his heart race out of his chest as he pulled into the driveway. Was he more interested in Y/N than he thought? Was he jealous? He knew for sure that he'd kill any of his friends if they made a move on her.

Was that jealousy?

He walked into the house and Y/N greeted him from her spot on the couch

"How was the studio?" she asked as she got up. She folded the blanket she used.

"I need to talk to you," Y/N froze and looked at Eddie worried

"Everything alright?" she asked

Eddie nodded and walked towards her. She stayed in place as he stood across from her.

"Have you been hitting on me?" He asked, he pushed his hands into his pockets and turned his head to the side, almost mocking her with the question.

Y/N felt very nervous and felt less happy with her recent comments. "Um...uh." she stuttered, she couldn't look at him.

"Don't be nervous, pretty girl. Just want to see if I read your signals right before I ask something." He said, gently rubbing his finger across her cheek.

"Ask me what?" she asked, moving into his hand on her cheek

"Can I take you out on a date? This weekend while Mandy has the kids. No work or anything. Just us two and a nice dinner."

"I'd like that," she said as she smiled

~~~

Y/N had never felt so nervous to pull up to Eddie's house. She took a deep breath as she drove through the opening gate.

She wasn't sure what to wear to a nice dinner so she grabbed the same dress that made Eddie stare all night during Paisley's recital. She dressed it up with different jewelry and shoes. Hair and makeup are slightly done.

She was so excited but so anxious. What if she totally screwed this up? He's been on thousands of dates. He's a rockstar, not like he had to impress her. She had to leave the lasting impression and she was worried she wouldn't be able to.

Then she couldn't help but think of Mandy. She knew Eddie didn't love any part of her anymore, but Y/N was the girl after the ex-wife. What if that didn't mean anything? What if it was a rebound?

"There she is," Eddie smiled as he opened the door. She didn't even have to knock, almost like he was waiting right at the door.

She immediately blushed as he handed over a bouquet of red roses.

"Didn't mean to keep you waiting," she said nervously, she grabbed the flowers, loving the way he didn't pull his hand away as their fingers touched.

"No worries at all. I was ready an hour early. First date nerves, I think." He chuckled.

"You are nervous? Why? I'm the one going on a date with a rockstar." She laughed. Some of her nerves were already washing away. She guessed she had forgotten how comfortable she always was around him.

"Because I'm going on a date with a beautiful woman and I have to make sure I don't scare her off." Eddie laughed.

The two smiled like idiots as they stared at each other.

Then a long honk jumped them into reality.

"I guess Mr. Rem is ready to leave." Eddie chuckled, and Y/N laughed with him. Eddie grabbed her hand and gently walked her out the door. He locked it behind him, lacing their fingers again as they walked to the big black SUV.

"Oooo a driver. Definitely the most impressive date I've had." She teased, Eddie blushed and held the back door open for her.

"A girl like you deserves to arrive in style."

But Eddie didn't get the car for that reason...he had some different ideas running through his head when he ordered it.

She settled inside and saw that the driver was blocked off. They truly had the backseats all to themselves. The thought caused her thighs to clench.

Eddie slid in next to her, he knocked twice on the window to the driver and the engine roared to life.

~

It didn't take long to arrive at the restaurant. The beautiful patio lights lit up the outside. His hand was in hers as they walked through the huge crowd. Cameras flashed everywhere but she was so focused on Eddie.

She couldn't believe she was here, on a date with her boss crush.

They made it to their table. The inside was just as gorgeous as the outside. A private booth for them in the back.

Champagne on the table on a bucket of ice. He had everything prepared and she truly felt special by it all.

There was no awkwardness. Their conversations flowed perfectly as they finally got to talk about themselves. No talk about the kids or his ex. Just a night focused on them getting to know each other.

A few drinks in and she started to feel herself getting warm the longer she looked at him. He had his dress sleeves rolled up and his arms crossed. His biceps practically beg the shirt to tear in half so the muscle could breathe. His expensive watch shined underneath the dim light.

He was telling a story, she felt guilty for not listening as her leg began to move. Her heels touched his foot as she slowly slid it up his shin.

He made a sound, then played it off as a cough as he continued to tell the story.

But the story got harder to remember the more she slid up his leg. He took a sigh of relief when she removed her leg.

His head was straight again as he went back to the story. His moment of relief ended quickly when this time he felt her bare foot working its way up his thigh.

He coughed harder, needing a sip of water as she watched him amused.

He never had a girl make her moves on him. He loved that she wasn't shy to show how bad she wanted him.

He thanked himself for choosing a dark restaurant and tables that made the couple sit intensely close.

He stuttered over his story as she landed her heel on his covered cock. She smirked as she felt the hardness underneath. She pressed down lightly, adding pressure.

He whimpered behind his glass of champagne. Swallowing the liquid with his remaining moans.

"Anything else for you two tonight?" The waiter asked, before a single second passed, Eddie was already answering.

"CHECK, the check please."

Y/N laughed behind her hand as the waiter walked off.

Eddie smirked and ran his hand underneath the table. His soft hand landed on her foot as he slid his hand up and down her shin.

His touch set electricity through her body.

~

They rushed into the car, the second the door was slammed shut, she was on Eddie's lap.

The two messily made out as the car began to pull off.

They weren't in sync, both hungrily touching each other anywhere. Her hands were all in different directions as their tongues worked together.

His hands slipped under her ass, pushing up her dress. Her underwear-covered cunt was pulsing on top of him. He could feel her heat and wetness against his dark jeans.

She spent months teasing him, and he was ready to get her back.

He softly picked her up, slamming her down on his thigh. She dropped her head back as he used his hands to move her hips. The rough material of his jeans caused her underwear to stick against her cunt. He moved her back and forth, controlling just how much she could move on his thigh.

His lips were on her neck as she yanked on his hair.

She humped his thigh in bliss. The windows steamed as she panted. His teeth and tongue were on her neck, creating a trail of marks down her exposed chest. The dress was high on her hips as she rubbed herself faster against his thigh.

"Feels good, huh? All those little games," he whispered, his hot breath fanning her ear, "just waiting to get in this exact spot. To be rubbing yourself against me, feeling that orgasm building inside that sweet little stomach. I bet I could fuck you so deep we'd see me inside of you."

She melted at his words. Yanking harder at his hair she picked up her pace.

"Now who's in control?" He challenged, his tongue licked the outside of her ear before he moved back down to her lips.

She whimpered as his tongue swallowed her moans. Her hands came down to slam on his chest as she felt herself getting close.

"Gonna," she breathed out, her eyes closed with bliss, pushing and pushing to feel the orgasm hit her like a truck.

But all she heard was a deep chuckle and the feeling of his hands picking her up from his thigh. He grabbed her left leg and positioned her to straddle his lap.

Her cunt pulsed around nothing as her clit burned with no relief.

She looked down at him, disappointment all in her eyes as she pouted at him.

"Oh, I'm sorry, pretty thing. Did you think I was going to let you cum that easy?"

She felt like she could cum from the dark look in his eyes, the glimmer of control shined. His lips turned up into a cocky smirk and she wanted his lips against her cunt more than ever.

"You've got such a long night ahead of you," he said as the car came to a stop.

She fought to catch her breath as he softly pushed her to the seat next to him. She watched as he palmed himself over his jeans before he opened the door. He reached in for her hand, kissing the skin before he helped her out of the car.

She stumbled, the orgasm still on edge between her legs.

Eddie chucked darkly as his hand landed on her ass, walking her to the house.

She wanted to thank the driver but she needed Eddie inside that house.

The second they made it inside, she jumped into his arms. He caught her and slammed her against the closed door. He took a little mercy for himself, allowing himself to rock his hips against hers. The small friction on his cock made him moan, biting her lip.

"Bedroom?" she gasped as she pulled away.

Eddie nodded, out of breath as he softly landed her on her feet. Her knees were weak. "Race you there," Eddie challenged, his laugh in her ear as he took off up the stairs.

She laughed and raced up after him. There was no way she was going to beat him, but instead of admitting defeat, she cheated.

"Ow!" She whimpered, pretending she hurt her ankle as she leaned down to hold it. Eddie froze and turned around. A worried look on his face as he raced back to her. They were at the top of the stairs, his bedroom a straight shot.

"Shit, are you okay? I forgot how much we had to drink." Eddie said, his hand softly rubbing her ankle. He got down on his knees.

"Yes it's just," she trailed off as she pushed her hands against his shoulders, giggling as he landed on his ass. His shocked face as she stood up and raced to the bedroom.

She made it to the bed, Eddie right on her heels. He grabbed her waist and dove them both on his bed. She laughed as he landed on top of her, his arm next to her head as he held his body up.

He laughed with her, he cupped her jaw as he took in the sight of her. Their laughs grew quiet as they stared into each other's eyes.

"What?" she whispered, her eyes dancing between his

"I was always scared I'd never feel happy with someone again. And you are just everything I've always wanted," he whispered. Her heart raced underneath him. She looked up at him with adoration and love.

She didn't have the words to say, so she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down. He smiled as his lips met hers.

They shared a soft kiss, passionate and sweet. Eddie pulled away and softly kissed down her neck. She hummed in delight as he kissed down her chest, his mature hands pushed up her dress, her stomach bare.

She moaned as he sucked marks on her stomach, he kissed her everywhere. She wiggled in anticipation as his mouth moved near her cunt. He softly kissed her clit over her underwear, loving the way her thighs clamped around his head.

"Patience, darling," he whispered, he reached his left hand up her stomach. He made his way to her chest, easily exposing her breasts from the dress as his mouth continued to kiss her cunt.

She nodded and bit her lip. His left hand played with her chest and nipples as his tongue moved to the inside of her thighs. Her breathing picked up and he could feel the heavy breaths from her stomach against his arm.

"Please, off," she whined, she pushed up her hips. Eddie got the hint and was happy to obey. He kept his left hand busy with her chest, using his right hand and teeth to pull the underwear off her body.

She wished her eyes didn't close with pleasure, she wanted to watch his every move. The sight of his head between her legs was a dream she had way too many times.

"Fuck you look so pretty down there," she praised, a smile on her face as she saw a red blush cover Eddie's cheeks. She wasn't sure why she had such an effect on him, but she loved having him wrapped around her finger.

He was too shy to answer. Busying his lips with something else than talking. His tongue licked up between her folds, he did it over and over. Her hands dove into his hair, she wasn't sure how close he could be but she kept shoving and shoving.

He didn't mind. He loved how badly she wanted this. She locked her ankles behind his head, crying out as his mouth latched on her clit. He softly sucked her clit, humming at the sweet taste of her. He imagined being between these legs so many times, and he wanted to savor every second.

She gasped and moaned, his tongue pushed inside of her, he flicked his tongue up and down, his nose rubbing against her clit. She arched her back, her hips pushed against his face as she began to ride his tongue. He took his left hand and shoved her down. His arm was on her stomach as he pushed her body down. She loved that with one arm, he could snap her hips against the matress.

She tried to listen, she tried to keep her hips down as he ate her out. He removed his tongue, replacing it with his fingers. She whimpered as she finally clenched around something. She was so tight he struggled to slip in and out of her, but he made it work. He forced her cunt to take his three fingers as his tongue worked on her clit.

That same feeling was bubbling in her stomach.

"Please, Eddie, please," she begged

"Dammit," she whined as he pulled back, he slowed down his fingers. Slowly slipping out of her as he pecked her clit one last time. She never had someone eat her out the way he did, or touch her. She couldn't help but not understand how Mandy let him go, but she was glad she did. Because that's what led Eddie to be in between her legs.

"Oh so close, huh?" Eddie mocked, he looked down at her as he stepped off the bed.

"Yes," she whimpered. She watched with hunger as he unbuttoned his shirt. He was teasing her and she could see how much he loved it. His fingers slowly worked through the buttons. His hairy chest and tatted torso came into view. She leaned on her elbows as the shirt fell to the floor. She took in his naked chest, loving the paste of his skin.

She settled on her knees and slowly moved to the edge of the bed. He stood watching as she crawled towards him. Her eyes begged as her hands scraped down his chest and landed on the top of his jeans. His boxers strap poking out, her fingers slid underneath it.

Eddie looked down at her, he traced her cheekbones as he smiled. She took it as a yes, her hands quickly unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. He helped her, stepping out of the jeans. He leaned down and pecked her lips. He smiled as her eager hands palmed him over his boxers.

It was clear what she wanted.

He stepped back, taking off his boxers, shoes, and socks. He was bare, and she sat in heels and a pushed-up dress. He didn't like that.

He easily tore off the dress, the seems ripping as the material shredded underneath his hands. She moaned at the sound, loving the way he tossed the dress to the side.

"Leave the heels on," he said, she nodded. She felt shy as he took in her naked body, ranking his eyes up and down. She could see his cock twitch and it made her crave him even more.

She was done waiting. She waited years to have him this way. She spread open her legs, she sucked on her fingers then trailed them down her body. She spread open her folds, inviting him.

He crawled back on the bed, using his hands to push her legs even further apart. He held his cock, teasing her clit as he rubbed his tip up and down against her cunt.

He slowly pushed his tip inside of her, and both moaned in bliss. They finally felt what they had been working for. Eddie rested his body on top of her, using his right hand to hold her hip as he pushed himself further inside of her.

"Fuck you're so big," she whimpered, she never felt herself get so stretched open.

"You can take it," he said softly, his soft lips kissing all over her face. He kept pushing himself, her cunt kept pushing him out but he kept pushing in.

"Y/N" he moaned, loudly. She loved hearing the sound of her name slipping from his lips. He sat fully inside of her, waiting to move as she adjusted.

She had tears in her eyes as it burned.

"Shh, I know, I know. But you are doing so well." he praised, his lips softly pressed against hers. She took a few deep breaths and calmed herself down.

She nodded, telling him to move.

He watched her closely as he pulled himself almost completely out of her, then pushed right back in. She moaned as he did it a few times, keeping a slow pace.

She clawed down his back, her nails breaking the skin. He arched his back as he felt the sting, causing his cock to fully push inside of her. Just like he said, he could see a bump in her stomach.

He softly grabbed her hand from his back, placed it on her stomach, and pulled out.

"Keep your hand right there," he said

She nodded, her left hand on her stomach and her right held on to his neck, her nails digging into the skin.

All of a sudden, he snapped his hips forward, his cock instantly filling her whole. She felt something hit her hand, she looked down as Eddie began to thrust. She could see a bump forming then leaving, then coming back. It matched the rhythm of his hips.

She moaned when she realized it was his cock. She could actually see it inside of her.

He picked up his pace as he felt a burn in his stomach. He edged her, but he had been doing it to himself. He needed that release. He fucked inside of her, fast. She felt like she needed to hold on to his shoulders by how fast he fucked her.

She clenched the sheets beneath her as her cunt took it all. She knew she'd be bruised tomorrow and it was so worth it.

His left hand found hers on the sheets, and he laced his hand with hers. She squeezed his hand and he squeezed it twice back.

His right hand went between their bodies and found her clit. And just like the two times before, that feeling settled in her stomach.

She sobbed as she begged. Tears flying down her cheeks as she clenched around his hand and cock.

"I got you," he cooed, he leaned down and placed his lips on hers. He moaned as he tasted her salty tears as they dripped down into the kiss.

Her mouth went slack against his mouth, and with no warning, she came all over his cock. His fingers messily rubbed her clit, and a rush of excitement filled him as her cunt squirted all over his body.

She cried, shook, and screamed as he fucked himself inside of her. She tried to smack his hand away from her clit, but he wanted to get every last drop of that squirt. She was sensitive but obedient to his touch.

The sight of her tears, bruised lips, and his dark pubs covered in her squirt pushed him over the edge.

"Fuck that's it, that's my good girl," he praised, his hands now on her hips, and fucked her as hard as he could. He moaned as he emptied himself inside her.

Her body went limp as he slid out of her. She collapsed into the matress. Her eyes were too heavy to stay open.

Eddie watched as his cum dripped out of her and onto the sheets.

"Looks like I'm gonna need new sheets," Eddie thought out loud. Y/N smiled with her eyes closed.

Eddie slipped away from her, walked to the connected bathroom, and got a warm rag.

He walked back to her, her tired eyes watching him as he cleaned her up. She flinched as the warm rag touched her cunt. Eddie softly cleaned her up and tossed the rag with the mess on the floor. He slipped off her heels and kicked up her legs.

He rested next to her and pulled up the blanket at the end of the bed. He wrapped his arms around her, her head tucked into his neck. Her naked body pressed against his. He kissed her forehead and ran his fingers through her hair.

"That was incredible," she said. her fingers traced shapes on his chest.

"I've never felt that amazing in my life," Eddie admitted.

After a few moments of silence, sleep took over as they tangled their bodies together.

~~~

Eddie woke up to pounding at the front door. He squinted as his eyes adjusted to the morning sun. Y/N slept peacefully next to him. He crawled out of bed, careful to not wake her up.

He grabbed one of the free sheets and wrapped it around his naked waist. The pounded continued as Eddie made it downstairs.

He ripped open the door and was shocked to see Mandy standing there.

"Finally! I've been pounding for five minutes," Mandy scoffed. She took in Eddie's state. The post-sex hair, the scratches on his chest, and the look in his eyes.

"Who do you have in there?" Mandy asked, she tried to look into the house but Eddie blocked the door.

"None of your business. Why are you here?" He asked.

"Paisley forgot her stuffed animal and last night was hell. I want to sleep tonight so I'm here to pick it up." Mandy said.

"I'll grab it, stay here," Eddie said, he turned around and Mandy couldn't help but feel a burn of jealousy in her stomach. Even more nail marks were down his back.

"Who was she?"

"Who?" Eddie asked, looking around the living room.

Mandy let herself in, and Eddie rolled his eyes.

"The slut who painted your back and chest with her sleezy and cheap nails." Mandy scoffed

Eddie turned around with a glare, "First, I already said it was not your business. And second, she's not a slut."

"Oh, little girlfriend? Gotta stand up and be her little knight and shining armor?"

"Look, we are divorced. My love life has nothing to do with you. Send Paisley in, I don't know where she left it." Eddie sighed

Mandy went out and got Paisley, she excitedly ran to her dad with a smile.

Paisley went up into her room, grabbing Lucy from the corner. As she walked out of her room, she saw Y/N sleeping.

"DADDY, WHY IS Y/N SLEEPING IN YOUR BED?"

Her screams jolted Y/N awake, a panicked look on her face.

Eddie froze as the words hit the bottom floor.

"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Mandy screamed

Y/N flew out of bed, holding the blanket around her naked body. But she wasn't fast enough.

Mandy was racing up the stairs and Eddie was hot on her heels.

"MANDY DON'T," he screamed

Mandy walked right past Paisley and landed her eyes on Y/N. Her body was covered in Eddie's bed sheets. The dark marks on her neck made Mandy's blood boil.

Eddie sent Pailsey downstairs as he walked in behind Mandy

"YOU'RE FUCKING THE NANNY!" Mandy screamed, "HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN FUCKING HER?"

"Keep your goddman voice down. The children don't need to hear anything. This was the first night we spent together. We haven't been sneaking around or anything. We went on a date and we had sex. We are grown-ups. She wasn't working, she was my date." Eddie explained

"I would never be with Eddie like that with the children around," Y/N said

"You shut your whore mouth." Mandy snapped

"HEY!," Eddie yelled, "You will not speak to her that way. The kids had no idea about us, until now."

"What you think he actually likes you?" Mandy scoffed. Her eyes locked in on Y/N.

Y/N nervously looked at Eddie but his eyes reassured her.

"I do, and I really like him." Y/N stood up for herself.

"You cannot be Eddie's girlfriend and nannying my kids at the same time. I forbid it. I hired you and I can damn well fire you." Mandy snarled

"No! I love this job and I love these kids." Y/N pleaded

"Should have thought of that before you opened your legs."

Y/N looked at Eddie and hated how silent he suddenly became.

"I'm sorry, Y/N, but she's right."

Both women looked at Eddie shocked. Mandy couldn't hide her smile as Eddie walked closer to them.

"What?" Y/N whispered, tears filling her eyes.

"I didn't want to have this conversation in front of Mandy, nor us being naked but, I have to fire you," Eddie said as she stood in front of her.

Y/N felt tears fall as she looked at Eddie.

Eddie reached forward and wiped her tears. Eddie placed his thumb on her trembling bottom lip. His other hand cupped her jaw and he softly rubbed her skin.

"Why?" she whispered

"Because I can't pay my girlfriend to hang out with my kids." Eddie smiled.

Y/N felt the relief fill her bones as she smacked Eddie's chest.

"You dick!" She laughed, "You scared the hell out of me."

"What do you say? Quit this job and be my girlfriend. The kids already love you. You can continue to stay here, just in my bed this time. Not the spare room."

"Sounds perfect,"

Eddie beamed down at her and captured her lips in a kiss. It was gentle, short, and sweet.

"I'm still here!" Mandy stomped.

"Why? Paisley got her stuffed animal. You are welcome to leave," Eddie said, letting go of Y/N as he walked over to Mandy.

"Because I still have a day before the kids come home, and I want to spend it fucking my girlfriend," Eddie smirked.

Mandy stomped her way out the door.

"Sounds like we have a busy day," Y/N winked as she tugged the sheet out of Eddie's hands. She bit her lip as she took in the sight of his naked and used body.

"Indeed we do," Eddie said, throwing her back on the bed. She landed with a laugh as he crawled up her body and pushed his lips on hers.

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlxt

[loveemagicpeace]

🧃Astrology Things🍕

⚡️A lot of libra risings make changes for the sake of others and then regret them. For example: they buy a new house and later notice that they don't want to live in it, they buy a car that they didn't really want. Many times they take a life step too quickly, which they later regret.

🍕Mars in 11th house-it can mean that you have few friends. And that a lot of people don't suit you. Many times you can also fight with your friends. But you can also attract people who are rude to you or maybe jealous. And friends can compete with you. You can usually get along better with men than with women.

🥑Mercury in 12th house-A lot of people can say things about you behind your back. It can also be a lot of untruths that people make up about you. So here you can attract quiet gossip (which means that many people say something about you, but only when you are not around). You have to be careful what you say to whom, because many people can be insincere towards you and many times they just pretend that they love you or that they care about you.

💘Venus in the 11th house - people can find your beauty every unique and special. You can have different beauty than others and your beauty cannot be compared to others because it is special and different. Many things suit you and others don't. You can have your own style and wear clean clothes that look great on you. You know how to combine a style in such a way that it looks beautiful.

🔥One thing you should know about fire signs. They will not wait for you. If you're not here right now and you don't give them enough energy, they'll leave. Especially when someone has mars in fire sign- they are quick to resent when you do not fulfill their promises. They hate when you cancel something and sometimes they make one decision quickly.

🌿Aquarius often live alone because they find it easier. They like to have their own freedom and have their own way of doing certain things.

🥊Venus & Mars in Leo- I notice that they just have the energy of being in the spotlight but in a nice way. In a very nice way.

🔥Fire signs, especially for sagittarius (it doesn't matter to them how they get to the goal, just that they get to it). Which means that if they get their driving test illegally or, I don't know, earn money illegally, the method is not important to them, but the goal that is achieved (as long as they have it) haha.

🤍Your moon sign is your safe place. It also means how you feel emotionally safe. When you have a water moon, your first reaction is emotional and you have an emotional attachment to things, people, places. When you're with someone, emotional security means a lot. Someone with a fire moon is, for example, very open, active, independent and sees the world as full of opportunities and they don't look at things as if they have to always be safe. Therefore, such moons can encourage a sense of danger for water moons. And they make them feel like they're not there for them in the way they want them to be.

🔐Venus is feminine energy and Mars is masculine energy. When you look at beauty in a woman, you look at the sign of Venus - because Venus represents femininity, beauty, style. When you look at the beauty of a man, you are looking at the sign of Mars - because it represents masculinity, energy, a pronounced figure and appearance. Many times I notice that men who have Leo, Scorpio, and Mars have a nice figure and an attractive appearance.

🩵Pluto Trine Chiron- you can have a lot of pain, which is very deep and strong. But you don't show it on the outside. But you can transform your pain in a beautiful way. Your losses and grieving process help awaken you to dynamic energy. These people are not afraid to go deep into pain or face it. They can really talk more deeply about the pain.

🩶Mercury Sextile Chiron-You know how to express your pain and trauma through words. You can help people with your speech, writing or expression.

🩷Venus Trine Chiron-They can express their pain beautifully. People can find your pain helpful. Many times, these people can express pain beautifully through music or through any art. This aspect also have machine gun kelly- and he expresses his pain so beautifully through his music.

💙Mercury Opposition Pluto-whatever the connection with mercury and pluto, it is always seen that the person chooses deeper, harsh and difficult words. It can already be seen from the very expression that a person can talk about taboo topics and more difficult topics more openly. Person has a very deep mind.

😆Aries rising -I noticed that when they cancel the meeting with you, then everything is fine. But when you cancel the meeting with them, then they will be angry. Many times they do things to others that they do not approve of themselves.

🎧When you listen to someone's podcast, you only see their mercury. Because this is their way of thinking, observing, speaking and telling.

🦋North Node in 8th house- when you get rid of the past, people, things, only then will you be able to start anew and begin your transformation. It is very important to let go because when you let go you will see how different your life is. This is also good for the things you buy, for example if you buy a new car then you have to get rid of the old one. When they choose change they win; when they choose the old way of doing things they lose.

🌱North Node in 11th house- it is important to look at yourself and not at others. To create your own vibe and energy that you want to emit. You will gain the most if you stop looking at others.

☁️If you want to know what someone else likes u have to look at their venus sign. Because Venus represents love language and what a person values. For ex.: Scorpio Venus will appreciate the time alone the most. Some deep conversation or a secret you will tell them. Taurus Venus- good food, music or something to pamper them with , maybe luxurious vacations. Leo Venus- fun, playing, something that reminds them of childhood. Aries Venus- something bold, action, maybe danger.

🎑The IC and the 4th house describe home, both as a physical place and as an inner sense of roots, safety, and foundation. If you have Jupiter in the 4th, it might feel natural to you to travel around or you might even choose to live abroad. With Uranus here, you may experience many changes of home. With the Sun or Moon in the 4th, you might be so strongly connected to home and homeland that uprooting yourself will not be easy. Sun here suggests your life revolves around home in some way, the Moon that your emotional wellbeing is closely tied to it. With Mars or Pluto here you may feel that your home is a constant battle and that there are always new changes. With Neptune here can mean that your home is confusing and sometimes you feel like you're not there at all.

🧃The IC Sign here will reflect your experience of early home life and the kind of home you want to create for yourself. If you have Taurus on the IC for instance, moving might feel like a huge upheaval and one way to cope is to prepare yourself for the change as far in advance as possible. On the other hand, Aries here might see you acting like a bullet from a gun - keen to move on domestically and not look back.

🎸For personal readings u can sign up here: https://snipfeed.co/bekylibra 🎸

-Rebekah🦋🩵🧚🏼‍♀️

[razzledazzlebeach]

Daryl Dixon took awhile to age mentally

As I read more and more analysis about Daryl and rewatch some of the earlier seasons, I wonder if it was intended for his character to have some kind of age regression issue. (I didn't do, like, extensive research, I just looked into some CPTSD and age regression signs on a few different sites, so this is just an idea I'm tossing out in hopes of hearing some other perspectives!)

The first situation that really catches my attention is his reaction to Merle being left in Atlanta. Now, obviously, this would be an incredibly emotional time for anyone and it's not entirely out of place to just say he was very distraught over the news and anyone could have reacted the same way he did. I just think that the specific way he did might have some signs. If you think about a grown man, especially one who was raised in a very macho household, you would assume that their reaction might be to storm out or yell at someone. Although Daryl did yell, he also started crying and pacing. It seemed almost as if he was having a full-on meltdown. Some signs of age regression are meltdowns (Ranting, shouting, insulting others, threatening others, whining, angry tears, or getting physically violent) that ring any bells?

I couldn't find a gifs of that exact moment :(

It probably didn't help that the entirety of the camp was staring at him as all of this happened. Temper tantrums can happen because someone is scared/ashamed and can't regulate themselves. (Like sensory overload.)

Another thing that I want to kind of address is the way Rick responds to Daryl when he's having these sorts of meltdowns. Throughout the series, and in the third episode, we see Rick bending down almost horizontally just so he can make eye contact with Daryl. He speaks to him like he's a child, and instead of feeling insulted, Daryl actually takes comfort in it and calms down!

"I'd like to have a calm discussion on this topic, do you think we can manage that?"

What is age regression?

We all know that Daryl was abused as a child, and trauma like that can sort of freeze the brain. This is a quote I really like that explains it: “It doesn’t necessarily make you stuck at a certain age, but instead, [you are] acting out the emotional wounding that happened at that age,” Lapides adds." People may start to regress because they are triggered or feel threatened, and an apocalypse seems like it would cause a constant trigger. Daryl might be reverting back to childlike behaviors as a trauma response. (honorable mention being the nail biting, but that's a bit of a reach) Shane being the way that he was could have also been a trigger for him.

One of the symptoms of age regression is overly clingy behavior. And you are probably thinking, "well, if there's anything Daryl has, it's not clingy behavior. He's a loner." I disregarded this too for awhile before I really thought about it. He is highly independent when he's doing things he's comfortable in, like being in the woods or going for runs. But when it comes to making decisions or being social, Daryl immediately clings to someone who he knows will do it for him. Most of his life he had Mere to hide behind. The most outgoing and shameless person alive. I don't think Merle ever asked Daryl his opinion on anything. He would decide, and Daryl would follow, and I think Daryl took a lot of comfort in that. So when Merle was gone, he latched onto Rick because he was the best choice. He knew Rick was a very righteous man who had plenty of leadership qualities. He knew Rick would make decisions for him, and give him directions.

Carol and Rick's mothering

Circling back to the way Rick would react to Daryl's outbursts, carol sometimes did the same thing. I know some people ship them, but honestly, at least in the earlier seaons, I got major mother/son vibes from the two of them. Especially when Beth died and she was trying to teach him how to grieve. The forehead kisses, the pookie nickname, all of it seemed to point in that direction. There was also another time Rick pulled the "Can we manage that?" move, and it was during Aiden and Glenn's fight in S5. He made sure to get low enough to make eye contact, and block his pacing. He kept telling Daryl that "We can't do this now." It all just looks a lot like he and carol are parenting Daryl, if only in moments where he is feeling intense stress and that trauma triggers.

Anyways, this was just a few ideas I was tossing around, and very clearly this in my first analysis lol, any thoughts?

[midnight-in-town]

About Yor: she isn’t dense, but most likely indoctrinated by Garden

So I wanted to address this for a long while now, because I’ve seen one too many posts talking about Yor like she’s just an aloof assassin who doesn’t care about things outside her direct environment, which is why sometimes she says dense things. 

I’m well aware that she’s a fan favorite so people don’t mean her harm, yet I think the whole story actually hints at way more than her being dense, especially considering her background and who she still works for. 

In other words, since Yor was trained but also half raised by Garden’s leader, the Shopkeeper, it’s likely that, considering how they operate and what they’re about, they instilled in her a conditioned dependency since childhood or teenage years that would make her unable to learn things on her own without asking for their opinion, making it very hard for her to turn against them ever. 

Want a striking example? Her encounter with Melinda Desmond. 

Not only did she not know who Melinda was (but I mean, that at least could be understandable)...

...but she also didn’t know what a First Lady is. 

Sure, it’s funny on first glance, but after thinking about it, what does it betray? That Garden probably made sure over years Yor would never get the slightest basic info and understanding on what politics of this country are all about. Because if their strong soldiers start to get opinions of their own, then they could start disagreeing with Garden and turning on them. So, “let’s prohibit people having free thinking, so that they can remain good little pawns” as we “fight for peace in our country”.

In fact, for Yor, until a short time ago (when she met Loid and Anya), all she did was thought and decided for her by Garden and, to this day, she still voluntarily asks them for their agreement when she opens up her close circle little by little: she asked them if it was okay to marry Loid and then she asked them if it was okay to befriend Melinda. 

To be honest, that’s a scary ass thought process to envision, when Yor’s an independent working lady well into her 20s, but this shows how deep Garden’s indoctrination runs in Yor, since they got hold of her as a child/young teen. 

Another striking example is the way she always describes her job, in an almost childish way. Her nickname “thorn princess” aside, I always found it interesting that Yor’s aware she’s an assassin but she isn’t morally anguished at all about killing people and never mentions or distinguishes any grey area in her missions. In fact...

... it’s all in black and white and she clearly thinks that the people she kills are all evildoers (which as we saw in the recent arc with the Red Circus isn’t always the case and begs the rhetorical question “why does Garden get to decide who’s evil?”), therefore “she’s not doing anything wrong”, which also pretty much betrays how she was pushed into it. 

Long ago, Garden probably baited Yor with Yuri’s protection and told her that, since they’re “about peace”, Yor’s work would just help them to “fight against evil”. As a child, she wasn’t mentally fit to understand the deeper implications and then she was mentally conditioned to always do and think like Garden tells her to, which promotes this systematic childish description of her assassin’s job. 

Finally, please take notice of the Shopkeeper’s reaction the first time she tries to argue about her work, in the ship arc: 

Enough said, Garden’s awful. I’m sure there are more examples throughout the story, but I now want to talk about future character development. 

After all, since the story obviously calls for Yor to ditch Garden, to protect what’s actually important to her (Yuri, Loid and Anya), we actually do see her changing little by little so far, thanks to her living with Loid and Anya. Her coworkers quickly mentioned that she’s more lively ever since she got married and the ship arc overall emphasizes that her family is starting to become more important to her than her job, so there is high hope for Yor. :D

Additionally, while she’s still far away from noticing that Garden mentally drove her into a corner, she now openly voices her concerns that “she’s not normal” but that she wants to understand why in order to learn how to change. 

To be fair, fighting against indoctrination is tough and takes time so I’m very proud of her for slowly realizing that she ought to decide for herself from now on. :D 

TL;DR Yor is not dense. She was indoctrinated as a child by Garden and can only (for now) see the world through the filters they taught her. 

Ironically enough, the only character who knows about her real job and could, thus, notice that Yor isn’t being critical about Garden...... actually can’t because she’s a four year old who is too young to understand that Mama’s job is wrong. Well done, Endo-sensei!

[just-a-ghost00]

What are they hiding from you?

Group 1 - Howl

Cards : 5 Ochre Sea Star - embrace rapid changes, king of wands, Power, Moonstone - find your natural rythm

There are a lot of sexual references subtly hidden in these cards. As I was shuffling your cards, the song Okay from Chase Atlantic was playing. Then as I started with the reading, two other songs played : Aerials- System of a down & Tied to your body - Monsta X. If you were doubting this person's attraction for you, here is your confirmation that they are into you. They feel a lot of desire for you and apparently they have finally decided to act upon it. There's a lot of fire in the air, excitement, giddiness. They can't wait to see your reaction when they reveal to you what they were hiding. And looking at the cards, that could be happening really soon. I'd say within a few days. This person will either bluntly tell you about their intentions or they will let something slip that will betray them. I was picturing fireworks for some reason. Maybe there's a carnival going on in your town or a festive even of some sort that you will attend to together. This would make sense because of the moonstone card I'm getting a night time energy. The next new or full moon seem to be significant. FIY, the next new moon happens on the 5th of July. Oh and July 4 is Independance day. It is a celebration. Well, if you were planning on celebrating this commemorial day with friends, the night could turn out to be interesting to say the least ;) The next full moon is happening on the 21st of July. So maybe these two dates will be important for you and the person you're thinking about.

Group 2 - Haku

Cards : 13 Dumbo Octopus - Stop chasing and attract what you desire, 2 of cups, reclaim, Bismuth - rewrite your code with rainbows

While I was shuffling your cards, the song Attitude from The GazettE was playing on my speaker. And as I started channeling and writing your messages, Teardrops from BMTH started playing. This person that you're thinking about is tired of waiting for love to come to them. They are tired of trying relationship after relationship just to be heartbroken and deceived by people. They are tired of waiting for you to make the first step. They want to hide from you that they love you and intend to conquer you. They want to step into your connection with a better and healthier energy than what they were into before. They are reclaiming their power and their place in your heart. They may have lost track of who they were and what they wanted from love, from the connection you shared, from their partnerships in general. They came out of a state of confusion and sadness. They've realised that they only live once, that fighting only to mourn what was lost is meaningless, that everything has a start and an end. Including their own life. They don't want to waste time crying or doing meaningless things. They want to live, to love, to laugh, to have fun with life so that they have no regret. They know that if they had given up on you, they'd have regreted it so they intend to come back. The reason they hide that from you is because they fear rejection. It may take some time before this person states their truth. If I had to give you an estimated timing, I would say several months.

Group 3 - Ashitaka

Demons in your dreams - Motionless in white BTBT - B.I ft DeVita and Soulja Boy Honeymoon avenue - Ariana Grande blueberry eyes - MAX ft SUGA

Cards : 25 Mantis shrimp - don't give up now, Destruction, Agate - find your solid ground, 8 of cups

There were several references to demons in the songs that were playing during your reading. Combined with the energy of Mantis shrimp and Destruction, it feels like your person is fighting inner and external battles. For some it could be related to addictions. This person is trying to move away from something that is detrimental to their healt, whether it's a person, a situation or a material thing. I'm picking up on several scenarios. I was getting for some that they are actually trying to cut ties with you. They are tired of fighting for something that they know deep down they can't change. They've been trying really hard but now they realize that moving on is the best thing they can do. But for others, this person is attached to you and loves you a ton but they know that there are things and people in their life that prevent them from being there for you, be a good person to you. Again that could be addictions, certain connections, or a toxic attitude overall when it comes to you. They are willing to put in the work in order to be a better version of themselves that you would be safe with. They are not telling you this because it is a very vulnerable period of their life which they do not wish to show. They feel like telling you would hurt you and the last thing they want to do is destroy what you have, regardless of whether they intend to stay or not. They don't want to be bad to you, they still care enough to be the bigger person and do what is necessary.

[traegorn]

"Actual leftism involves making pragmatic moves" you say?

"Even where there is no prospect of achieving their election the workers must put up their own candidates to preserve their independence, to gauge their own strength and to bring their revolutionary position and party standpoint to public attention. They must not be led astray by the empty phrases of the democrats, who will maintain that the workers’ candidates will split the democratic party and offer the forces of reaction the chance of victory."

-Marx, 1850.

Perhaps gain more than a vibes-based understanding of leftism before speaking on it. PA voter here, voting 3rd party.

Ah, we gotta theory bro here who thinks leftism starts and ends with Marx. Believe it or not, we've learned a few things in the last hundred and seventy five years. When we talk about making pragmatic decisions, we know that incrementalism is the only way progress has been made.

Here's the thing, you can't boycott an election. It's a two party system. EIther Harris or Trump is going to win, and Daddy Revolution ain't coming.

Time to put the book down and take some actions that will make an actual difference, and if Trump gets a second term, we don't be able to do that.

Your vote for a third party will only help put Trump in power, which will set us back another twenty years. There will be two seats up on the supreme court, which would cement the conservative majority. Trump has stated he want to use the US Military to round up his political opposition, and is using Nazi rhetoric about immigrant populations. Trans rights are under attack, and the only thing that's stopped it at the national level is the Republicans not holding the white house. Trump wants to pull aid from Ukraine, which would allow Russia to continue their genocide there.

In 2016 we were fighting for a higher minimum wage, and now we're fighting for basic rights that were destroyed by those four years of Trump.

And, like, the people in Gaza want us to elect Harris, as do other members of that community.

So if you really do claim to care about the things you say you do, you'll do the right thing and vote for Harris.

Because if you have the values you claim you do, I can't think of any reason other than selfish ego why you wouldn't.

[sebsrainbowbicycle]

Whats your opinion on the whole Christian Horner thing?

Let me preface this by saying, I have intentionally stayed away from this subject for many reasons, but given there was an outcome of the investigation today, and some of the information I’ve seen here throughout the past weeks, now is as good a time as any to respond to this ask I got weeks ago. This is not, nor will I be offering in the future, my opinion on whether Horner is guilty of the accusations or not. I just want to maybe provide context, and information from my experience and career thus far, that might help people understand, and also my opinion on the reaction from people. Caveat - I am not a lawyer, nor will I go into specifics of my current or previous job, however I worked in the legal profession where I worked on legal cases, reviewed evidence, and made submissions and recommendations that went in front of Judges.

Okay my thoughts. My thoughts are that an internal investigation that should have remained private for all parties involved, especially the alleged victim(s), was leaked and used as clickbait and gossip by the media and people on here and other social media sites. I think people decided guilt without having any genuine information, without seeing the evidence and without any credible sources. I think were the person being accused a different member of the paddock that the reaction would have been different. I think people used this to virtue signal and cry out about what good people they are. I think people that constantly say that the media and journalists shouldn’t be trusted, fed into a feeding frenzy that led to the name of the alleged victim(s) being published, which will undoubtedly impact them for the rest of their lives.

Onto specific things I have seen that I’d like to offer my take on:

Christian allegedly offering the victim a sum of money - First of all, for anyone who has a certain amount of wealth, especially those in the public eye, this is a usual occurrence. You try to avoid an investigation by any means possible, whether you’re innocent or guilty, because a) it’s easier and usually cheaper in the long run, b) pr and public image are damaged by even unfounded accusations and these things can run on for an extremely long time, and c) trial by media is a thing, and innocent people get tarnished for the rest of their lives because of something they were accused of. Now, I’m not saying any of those are why the offer was allegedly made, but those are some of the reasons. Companies do the same thing, when someone has an accident at work and hurts themselves, even if the company do not believe themselves to be at fault they will make a settlement offer, to avoid any legal back and forth. Settlements are not an admission of guilt, but a way to make something go away quickly.

Said money being why the investigation “went away” - I saw a quote that said “the grievance has been dismissed”, that means there was a finding, not that it was withdrawn. even so, this was a red bull investigation carried out by an external barrister. Once the company were made aware of the allegations, their investigation is independent of either party involved, so even if the alleged victim(s) withdrew their grievance, the company would still have a duty of care to ensure that any inappropriate behaviour or actions were identified, investigated and addressed. Most importantly, red bull want to protect themselves legally, and following the procedures and carrying out a thorough investigation, which would identify if they were potentially exposed to risk, is how they do that.

How can they ignore 100’s of pieces of evidence - We don’t know that they did. It was reported, but never confirmed that there was over 100 pieces of evidence submitted, so this is absolute hearsay. Further, I would be extremely surprised if the investigation ignored any piece of evidence, given the ramifications of an incorrect or improper investigation. Also I think it’s really important to say that evidence does not equal guilt or that one party to the proceedings is correct. Allow me to provide you with a personal example. I worked on a case where there was over 5000 pages of evidence submitted into a legal bundle. Approximately 4000 of those were from the appellant who argued that the other party had acted incorrectly. (forgive my vagueness here I’m not about to doxx myself). 4000 pages of evidence, which I reviewed and made a decision that I did not support their argument. The judge agreed with me also. Evidence can be subjective, and sometimes it can be completely irrelevant. The presence, and submission of evidence is to support one sides view of things, the other side will have their own, and both are examined and balanced and decisions made on that and sometimes also on other independent investigation.

The investigation is private and cannot be shared - This is law. GDPR in fact because this is occurring within Europe. I’m literally spending this entire week on a GDPR course, and have an exam on Friday, so I really don’t want to go on about legal basis and restrictions for sharing personal data, but let me tell you it’s for good reason, especially with investigations like this. All parties involved in this have a legal right to privacy, covered by the human rights act, and unless there is a compelling legal reason why their data should be shared, then it can’t be without their explicit consent. Simple as. And that’s disregarding that there will be confidential company information within the investigation that also cannot be shared.

Horner committed a crime - given that we do not know the specifics of what occurred we simply don’t have enough information to know this, HOWEVER, from the information I have read, and by the fact that I have not seen an indication that the police have been involved with this, nor are they carrying out their own investigation, I am working under the assumption that no law has been broken.

tl;dr - These are real people’s lives, we are not involved and we have no right to know anything. This isn’t salacious gossip, and it’s not a fun thing to band around and use as a stick to beat people with to prove how good we are. Processes and investigations like this should be private, and basing things on hearsay and unscrupulous reporters does more damage to any alleged victims than good. Having seen how fans and social media have treated this investigation, do you think that makes any other alleged victims want to come forwards? I think not. But that’s just me.

[girlactionfigure]

"From the River to the Sea"

@Daniel_Sugarman

In this thread, I’m going to go into some detail about what the phrase “From the River to the Sea, Palestine will be Free” means to many Jewish people. You may not agree, but I hope that it may enlighten those who simply don't understand the almost visceral reaction to it.

🧵 

2) For the benefit of a number of students at some of America’s most expensive higher education institutions, let’s start by clarifying - the river is the River Jordan, the sea is the Mediterranean.

3) So what do those chanting it mean? When asked, a bunch of them will say they want a single state in this area in which all people can live together in dignity and equality. Sounds great, right? Who would argue with that? 

4) That claim is somewhat muddied when one particular version of that chant is used in Arabic, as has been heard and seen at various protests - من المية للمية / فلسطين عربية “From water to water, Palestine is Arab”. But let's leave that aside for the moment. 

5) Note that the protesters are not calling for Israel to be *changed* into what they see as a free and equal society. For them this can only be achieved by Israel being *ended* and replaced by Palestine. 

6) Objectively, you can say that the reason for this is that the protestors believe that Israel (and Zionism) is fundamentally incompatible with what they see as equality and freedom for all, which is why for them it has to go in its entirety. But... 

7) But there is a significant degree of ambiguity as to what the end result *actually* means. And it’s that question mark which is why so many Jewish people see this slogan the way they do.

8) Because Jewish people have lots of different examples of what happens to Jewish communities who are minorities in countries in the MENA region. They get destroyed. I'll give you some examples. 

9) Egypt. 1948 - 75,000 Jews. 2024 - 30 Jews.

10) Lebanon. 1948 - 9,000 Jews. 2024 - 20 Jews.

11) Syria. 1948 - 15,000 Jews. 2024 - 4 Jews.

12) Yemen. 1948 - 55,000 Jews. 2024 - 1 Jew.

13) Iraq. 1948 - 156,000 Jews. 2024 - 1 Jew.

14) Iran. 1948 - 150,000 Jews. 2024 - 8,750 Jews (under the strict control of the Iranian regime).

15) Libya. 1948 - 40,000 Jews. 2024 - No Jews.

16) Algeria. 1948 - 150,000 Jews. 2024 - 150 Jews,

17) Tunisia. 1948 - 105,000 Jews. 2024 - 1,500 Jews.

18) Morocco. 1948 - 270,000 Jews. 2024 - 2,000 Jews.

19) The anti-Zionist narrative is that this mass Exodus was the fault of the Zionists, who created Israel. No Israel, goes the refrain, and all those communities would still be there.

This ignores a very simple point. 

20) In every single one of these countries, to a greater or lesser extent, Israel’s independence was followed by significant repression of local Jewish populations.

Every one. 

21) Remind me, what’s the way to describe holding members of an ethnic or racial group responsible for what other members of that group may have done elsewhere?

22) By doing so - oppressing the local Jewish population via pogroms, repressive laws, denying Jewish people full citizenship, confiscation of land and property - these MENA countries made a more effective argument for Zionism than Israel ever could have done by itself. 

23) What that said, very clearly, was that Jews as a minority in a MENA country lived there strictly on sufferance. That at any time they could be deprived of everything - including their lives.

This had been clear pre-Zionism too, but the reaction post-'48 put the seal on this.

24) Which brings us back to now. The one-state Palestine being dreamt of is one where, at best, Jews will be allowed to live as a minority. 

25) I put it to you that the experience of more than half of Israel’s Jewish population - descended from those who had to leave MENA countries, means that they *know* what the end result of such a Palestine will be.

A land without Jews. 

26) This, by the way, given most Israeli Jews now are descendants of MENA Jews is also why the “post-colonial” depiction of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict as some sort of “white vs brown” battle is so utterly brainless. And that’s before we discuss Israel’s many Ethiopian Jews. 

27) I’ve gone on too long, I know, but just one final point. If the anti-Israel protestors really wanted to assure Jews - all Jews - that there would be a real future for Jews in their hoped for future one-state Palestine - they would be doing their best to engage with Zionists. 

28) They would be saying “Zionism is an ideology built on numerous examples - in MENA and in Europe - that Jews are, in the long term, only safe in their own country. Let us show you that this isn’t necessarily the case. Let’s talk. Find common ground. Try for friendships.” 

29) Instead Zionists are told they are Nazis. The same age-old antisemitic conspiracy theories about Jewish control are applied to “Zionists”. “Zionists” are excluded from the Community of the Good. 

30) Congratulations! 

You’ve just proved every single Jewish Zionist’s point for them - and you’ve helped create new ones. In a very similar way to those MENA countries post 1948. 

*Thread ends* 

[alltheboysandgirlsiloved]

I'm sure that many people are going to disagree with me but personally I think that post-Chaos Theory season 2 events Kenji and Brooklynn shouldn't get back together (and it's probably been a long time coming event).

And I have an explanation.

Before any of you bring out your pitch forks - yes, I admit, I was never a big fan of brookenji BUT I understand how they could have developed feelings for each other. Spending so much time together, relying on each other every day, sharing semi-similar experiences prior-Isla Nublar, not to mention simple attraction - those are all valid reasons as to why they could have fallen in love. And, hear me out, I think that their relationship worked well for as long as they tangibly experienced the aftermaths of Isla Nublar/Mantah Corp Island on the Main Land.

What do I mean by that? When you are going through an experience with someone, especially a traumatic experience, you may still kind of feel rooted in that experience even once it ends. It doesn't necessarily mean stagnation - during that time you can develop as a person, and gather new experiences, but a part of you is still living as if it expects to go back to the old ways. That means that you still follow a similar routine, cultivate the same habits, or keep up the same mindset.

However, as time progresses, you naturally move on. Kenji and Brooklynn could still have experienced some side-effects of living on dino-infected island but their minds moved on and started "settling" on the Main Land. Now that on its own - is not a problem. The problem (well, part of it) is that their threads of development started to stray apart. And I want to emphasize here - it is no one's fault, it is a natural occurrence.

By the end of jwcc S5 and in the first season of jwct, we can clearly notice how it is important for Kenji to have something (and someone) to anchor in. That is not surprising at all - he was a mostly neglected child, who saw a hero in his father but who found a real family in his friends. Perhaps that was his first real experience of a family. Naturally, because of that, "family" suddenly (compared to pre-jwcc Kenji) has a whole different value for him, he starts to associate family with new things like safety, mental comfort, stability, and proximity. We see it not only in how he treats Darius in the finale of jwcc S5 but in how, despite it all, he stays in close proximity to Daniel Kon in jwct S1 - because yes, he (probably subconsciously) extended some of these new aspects of a newly discovered "family" even to Daniel. This explains even better his very emotional reaction to Daniel's death - losing a member of a family is almost like a taboo in Kenji's concept of "family". Staying alive was the top priority on Isla Nublar, being alive together was what made the Nublar 6 family real and safe.

I think, to some extent, a member of a family dying itself Kenji almost treats like an act of betrayal (remember that his mother also died when he was a child).

And now we have Brooklynn who not just dies but fakes dying. And Kenji hates deceit - especially after he was lied to by his own father - a member of his "original" family. And here we have Brooklynn - a member of the found family doing the same thing but even worse. She had her reasons, and her reasons are justified, but the justification of something isn't enough to rebuild a shattered core value / core belief for someone else. Listen, Brooklynn can be forgiven but it doesn't mean that Kenji will be able to restore what they had. Like physically and mentally it may actually be impossible for him.

Now it's time for Brooklynn's side.

Brooklynn is a very interesting character on her own because there's one thing that is unchangeable about her and it's the fact that she likes being independent. She was basically a solo internet superstar who was used to doing things on her own throughout her whole life. Now, it doesn't mean that she doesn't need friends or that she can accomplish everything on her own - no, and throughout jwcc (and I predict that jwct is going to make a point out of it too) she learns how to reach out for help and how to help others. She's a good friend - even her motivations in jwct are deeply rooted in the fact that she is just a really incredible friend. But! That is not the only catalyst for her motivations. She is also ambitious and, like I said earlier, very independent. Both of these are very strong, often dominant traits that heavily define her actions. And listen - those are also traits that for a very long time granted her success and, what's more important, self-satisfaction. To put it plainly: it makes her happy when she can solve mysteries, track suspicious leads, uncover secrets - it has always been her thing! And it obviously makes her happy to this day - maybe it's not as carefree happiness but I believe that it's just a more adult version of the same "emotional high". And not only does it make her happy - she's also incredibly good at it.

It doesn't mean that for Brooklynn the Sense of Adventure is more important than family and friends, it just means that stability is not the value she has as much space for as Kenji does. Because for Kenji, whose whole life centers around creating a solid concept of family and home, a sense of safety and stability is a key value, Brooklynn on the other side is always ready to be on the move, she anticipates dynamism from the world. And that's why Kenji, who's slower and more anxious (even if he doesn't voice it out openly!) to accept changes, doesn't quite keep up with her lifestyle.

Post leaving Isla Nublar, the campers (including Kenji and Brooklynn) started developing in new ways - they picked up new traits, gained new experiences, and started figuring out what works best for them. In my opinion, Kenji's life led him to the point where he had to quite physically sculpt his life on his own for the first time and this process takes years. It doesn't mean that he's boring or, god forbid, lazy - it means that as a person in so many ways shaped by a changing concept of family, he needs to build a house for himself - mostly metaphorically. Only recently he started rock-climbing, and found out that he loved it - that's amazing but he needed time and a proper state of mind to figure it out. We can only guess how the rest of his life unfolds but I tentatively predict that some kind of stability - being able to turn around and see the person you love always there and will always reassure you - will be a core value for him. Brooklynn, with a different personality type, clearly picked up some parts of her life that she had before Isla Nublar. She didn't have to build everything from scratch and, ergo, doesn't value the "building" itself as much as Kenji. None of them are wrong in their mindset, in what they value. But having a different mindset makes it much much harder to reach a common ground in a relationship.

And I'm temporarily putting aside that Brooklynn betrayed Kenji on so many levels and basically broke his heart - in a way, I would argue that (though I feel like she was too harsh when she was talking about it with Darius) Brooklynn could also feel as if Kenji hurt her by not giving her enough credit and space which probably was uncomfortable for her because she is, as we established, very independent. So both of them hurt each other in different aspects for sure (this post doesn't aim to put blame on any of them), but the thing is that I think they just grew up to be different people with different needs.

And that's okay.

(I'm sure some of you are going to be mad either way but I just wanted to share my point of view)

[mirai-e-jump]

Animage November 2024 Issue ft. Miyazawa Yu Interview (translation below)

Publication: October 10, 2024 (between episode 32-33)

A Cleaner Style

The 3rd Lap is a chaotic development, where the intentions of various people will blend together. Among them, Sakito Homura is attracting the most attention.

Sakito lost both of his parents at an early age and had no one to rely on. When he was around 10 years old, he encountered Byun Diesel, also known as Byundi, and set off to space, where he lived a dangerous life as a cleaner. Although Sakito initially said that he had "abandoned Earth," ever since he bonded with Taiya Hando and the others, he now fights to protect Earth from the Hashiriyans.

Sakito has changed through these new encounters, and it's because of them that he has friends that he can rely on, but he can't ignore Genba Bureki, who's walking his own path of loneliness out of a desire for revenge against Disrace, the one who seized his home planet of Bureki. Sakito, who works on his own as a cleaner, uses this position to approach Genba and attempts to pull him back to the Boonboomgers, sometimes by expressing his own feelings to him.

As a result of Sakito's actions and his interaction with Nijino Akira of Ressha Sentai ToQger, Genba's stubborn feelings begin to change.

The day when the six Boonboomger members once again fight side by side isn't that far off. _

-The distance between me and Byundi isn't the same as close friends or brothers-

"After passing through the 2nd Lap, Sakito's become a familiar face, and we think his personality and position, which is independent of the other Boonboomgers, make him a unique character in the show."

Miyazawa: Even before filming, I wanted Sakito's character to find a balance between those three - the calm Taiya and Ishiro and the mysterious Genba, and those cheerful two - Mira and Jou, so that he could go either way. So, I tried to make him two faced, or rather, it was important to give him the calmness that comes from having nearly 20 years of experience working as a cleaner in space, and the childishness that comes from having left Earth at the age of 10 to live freely. I still have trouble raising and lowering the excitement between those two roles, but I'm trying to make that part of my performance bring out Sakito's best qualities.

"We were impressed by how child like you sometimes act, but that was a conscious part of your performance, right?"

Miyazawa: That's right. He knows about space, so he acts as a commentator, but he also screws around, so it's convenient for the comedic parts (laughs). Lately, I've been trying to express that kind of growth in him, like how he's looking at things more calmly now that a few months have passed, compared to how excited he used to be when he first came back to Earth.

"In the 3rd Lap, Sakito has more scenes with Genba, who had left Boonboomger."

Miyazawa: Sakito has Byundi by his side, but I think that because of his past experiences, he's lived his life without relying on others, believing that he has to do things on his own. In the fight with Taiya in episode 18, he also spoke about his disillusionment and resignation toward adults. This overlaps with the current Genba, who's outlook has become narrow due to wanting to take his planet back. Sakito himself felt that he could grow with the help of the Boonboomgers, and in his own clumsy way, I'm sure he wants to pass on his experiences to Genba, even if only alittle, and do something about it. For Sakito's reaction to hearing Genba say, "This is my only shot," after sumo wrestling with him in episode 32, I wanted to express the conflict of, "Is it really impossible to persuade him any further?," so I consulted Director Nakazawa-san about it.

"The Suit Actor for BoonViolet after the Change is Tsutamune Masato-san."

Miyazawa: Not only do I talk alot with Tsuta-san, but we also copy each other's performances. We've never had the opportunity to perform our roles together before, so I was abit worried, thinking, "Is this gonna be okay?," but the fact that we were able to build a good relationship right from the start was good for creating Sakito's character.

"Something indispensable for Sakito is the existence of his partner Byundi."

Miyazawa: Byundi's his partner who's been through some difficult times together, Sakito can talk to him about anything, and if something happens to the other, they immediately rush over. Figuratively speaking, he's like an older brother to Sakito, so while I'm conscious of their brotherly relationship in my performance, in terms of the distance between them, he's not his brother, best friend, or even a parent. Having a relationship like these two where you're together all year round is unusual, isn't it? That's why I think Byundi's existence is unique and special.

"What kind of conversations do you have on set with Takada Masashi-san, Byundi's Suit Actor, when it comes to expressing the relationship of those two?"

Miyazawa: I wanted to realistically portray the perfect harmony between Sakito and Byundi, or rather, what it's probably been like since Sakito was little, so I've talked about alot of things with Takada-san. Like, when he sat on Byundi's tire as a chair in episode 24, or when he watched the battle between the Aori Family and the Hashiriyans on Byundi's legs in episode 29. For improv like that, I consult with Takada-san, who tells me places where I can hop on with, "This is a good spot," but also adds more ideas.

"What's your impression of Hanae Natsuki-san, the voice behind Byundi?"

Miyazawa: I've watched Hanae-san do post recording multiple times, and have also had the chance to talk with him. Hanae-san always manages to skillfully "train" for my performances, and he improvises quite abit. In the baseball scene in episode 23, when he was cheering for Sakito, he kept saying, "Sa-ki-to!" (laughs). During recording of the scenes between BoonViolet and Byundi, when I record first, I'll think about how I'll interact with him, and when Hanae-san records, I think about how I'll respond while watching Tsuta-san's movements. I thought a relationship like this was wonderful. It's not often that you get the chance to work so closely with tokusatsu professionals like Tsuta-san and Takada-san, and Voice Actor professionals like Hanae-san, so I've been taking in alot from them through this experience.

-A decisive battle with the Cannonborg, I also carried Tsutamune-san's feelings on my shoulders-

"In episode 32, the most recently aired episode, from "Ressha Sentai ToQger," Suzuki Right's Shison Jun-san and Nijino Akira's Nagahama Shin-san made guest appearances."

Miyazawa: I worked with Nagahama-san during filming and Shison-san during post recording, and while both of them are senior Sentai members, above all else, they're senior actors, so it was a great honor for me to costar with them. Still, I also thought, "I absolutely can't lose." Sakito himself isn't the type to get carried away just because some seniors came along. Both of them took on all of our acting, so I went into it with the feeling of "I'm gonna give it my all."

"In a positive way, there was a sense of rivalry."

Miyazawa: Yeah, it was one sided though (laughs). I did feel alittle frustrated because I could see the difference in our abilities, but I also received tons of positive encouragement.

"So far, which episodes are you particularly attached to?"

Miyazawa: It would have to be episode 25, that was one of the turning points for Sakito, and it left a deep impression on me. How would I show the change in Sakito, who used to say, "I'll give this planet to Hashiriyans," through his involvement with Boonboomgers? While doing it I was thinking, "If Sakito and BoonViolet can't liven things up, then this episode will be ruined." Just from the script, I was especially excited about him using the weapons everyone gave him in the battle against Cannonborg, and I thought Tsuta-san would definitely do some cool action, so I went to observe filming to get a better idea of what to expect during post recording. On set, Tsuta-san was speaking BoonViolet's lines, and I could really feel his emotions through them. In order to convey Sakito's feelings for the Boonboomgers and Earth, I tried to use my voice with as much passion, if not more, as Tsuta-san's actions, and for the first time ever, I was sweating during post recording. I also wanted to show Sakito's innocence in the fireworks scene at the end.

"It truly was a scene that showed Sakito's gap."

Miyazawa: I was like, "You were so cool defending Earth, and now you're all hyped up about some festival!" (laughs). Still, I believe that the build up of those efforts has led to his current development.

"Are there any situations you'd like to play as Sakito in the future?"

Miyazawa: I personally feel like, "Please let me do whatever I want!," but if I were to list them all in detail, there'd be no end in sight……However, I wonder what'll happen to Sakito at the end of Boonboomger's story. Sakito's current goal is crushing the Hashiriyans, but unlike the other Boonboomgers, he doesn't have a goal like competing in the Big Bang Grand Prix. I also wonder what kind of answer he'll give on whether he chooses to stay on Earth, to which he's grown increasingly attached to, or to return to space where his cleaner acquaintances are. I'm really looking forward to the moment when I find out how Sakito feels after achieving his goal. _

Q: What's your favorite manga/anime?

I've watched a variety of things, like "Kimetsu no Yaiba," which features Hanae-san in it, but if there's one work that I really like, it's "ONE PIECE." I've read the original story in Shonen Jump magazines, and have participated in the card game tournaments (laughs). For characters, I like Eustass Kid and Charlotte Katakuri so much, that I put them in my card game deck. Kid is cool in that he's a madman with a surprisingly passionate side, and Katakuri, despite being a villain, is very compassionate…….Perhaps it's because they both have something in common with Sakito that I'm even more fond of them. (-Miyazawa) _

Transcript of a Cleaner

Sakito, along with Byundi, have been cleaning up trouble as the best cleaners in the universe. Here's a glimpse of how they've been taking care of things on Earth.

Delivery of the Legendary Sword Client: The Hashiriyan Family His delivery to Cannonborg was his first job on Earth. Later, in order to pay off his debt to the Boonboomgrs and allow Byundi to meet Bundorio, he disposed of Sword Grumer, the legendary sword that had mutated.

Disposal of the Boonboomgers Client: Cannonborg He was left with no other choice but to take on the job after his precious trading cards was stolen. However, he withdrew from the request because Cannonborg involved Kakeru, his old friend and the owner of the card, and his family.

Fighting with the Boonboomgers Client: Taiya Hando Out of anger for putting Kakeru in harm's way, he accepted this request from Taiya immediately after breaking things off with the Hashiriyans. Since then, he's rushed to join the Boonboomgers in their battles against the Hashiriyans.

Disposal of Cannonborg Client: The Boonboomgers The only way to prevent Jackie Hoi Hoi's reactivation, is for Sakito, the fastest of the six, to stop Cannonborg. Sakito hunted down Cannonborg with the weapons entrusted to him by his friends.

Support for the Spy Job Client: Ishiro Meita At the request of the ISA, Ishiro was trying to retrieve an item from the Aori Family. Sakito took things upon himself to help out, and together with Byundi, they attracted the attention of the Aori Family and assisted him in his work.

[jonesywrites]

I feel compelled, so I must.

*Now with images for context

Man I shit you not, I have so much stuff to do like SO MUCH but I also have ADHD and a tendency toward hyperfixation so I am compelled, I tell you.

I'm writing for a whole ass other ship, filming, and editing for my YT channel. But I saw gifs, and I read tweets, and I saw hot takes and then I decided to react to Season 3 Part I for my channel.

I AM OBSESSED.

I'm in the middle of editing my reactions to Ep 1-4 and I just HAVE to chime in with these observations I keep having as I go through and re-live each Polin scene while editing. I know some of this has been seen/said before but I'm a newb to this fandom and I just finished listening to all of the audiobooks (save Simon and Daphne's story) so I just gotta! I OBSERVED A LOT and there's a lot here, so . . .

Colin turns to the Featherington house as soon as he arrives home and greets his family.

Because whether he's aware of it or not, he's thinking of one of those Featheringtons, who happens to be standing there as he debuts "the new Colin" to the people he cares about the most -- which includes Pen, they are telegraphing to us in this moment -- (right after testing some of that newfound charm on a gaggle of giggly girls). I don't think he greets her right away because he isn't ready yet but you can see his smile/smirk when he spots her -- like "Yep, Pen, feast your eyes, it's the new me, and NOW I'll bet you'll want to hear about my travels."

Eloise is the first person to spot that he may not really be into this "new Colin".

The show GOES OUT OF ITS WAY to let you know this isn't really Colin, that his heart isn't really into it, from jump. The siblings Bridgerton do a little "we see each other" when he questions her about trying to fit into society after all this time -- they're two sides of the same coin. He's too sensitive and romantic for the rakes of the ton and she's too independent and free-thinking for the boring trappings of the marriage mart, but here they both are. Pretending.

Colin goes out of his way to test his new charm on half the ladies at the Queen's garden party thing BEFORE he approaches Pen to talk for the first time since he got back -- at first glance he's just doing his thing, being the new him, enjoying himself and his new ability to woo the ladies but IT IS THIS AUTHOR'S HUMBLE OPINION THAT HE WAS TESTING HIS CHARM TO ITS LIMITS BEFORE HE WENT OVER TO THE ONE GIRL HE ACTUALLY WANTS TO/TRUELY ENJOYS CONVERSING WITH TO LAY IT ON HER.

Wanna bet me he wasn't thinking about Pen while he was away, wondering why she wasn't answering, plotting to talk to her when he got back, plotting to see if his new charm would work on her because she's Pen and her opinion means a lot to him? He doesn't get why yet but it's there -- the tip of the iceberg, only a strong desire for her attention and approval right now, but I can sooooo see how that started to quickly burn into a much more intense desire for just...her.

I adore how Penelope asks the dressmaker for new dresses in the fashion of "what they are wearing in Paris" after Colin tells her his new wardrobe is what's all the rage in Paris from is travels.

He always counts on her just being Pen in the citrus colors hanging on the wall, a safe place, but then he sees her in that green dress and I truly believe this is the moment he realizes -- nah fam, this isn't just "Pen my friend who doesn't count (as a woman)", this is "wow who is that woman in the striking color with pretty lips and fiery red hair?"

This poor lovesick fellow has no idea why every time he sees her at a ball his heart does a funny thing and he suddenly can't see anyone else and he gets the urge to drink whatever's in his hand/close by.

HEY BABE IT'S BECAUSE YOU LIKE HER. A LOT. She isn't just Pen who doesn't count, she is SPECIAL.

Much has been said about the "Goodnight, Mr. Bridgerton" scene, but I'll just add that you can tell when Colin is being genuine and totally himself vs when he's trying to charm her into relaxing with him/being more like her usual self.

When he says "the colour rather suits you," he's being her good friend who is pleased to see her looking so good but he's also saying that to himself, judging by his tone, like "yeah girl you should wear green more often, this makes you look damn good". And when he says he misses her, he means it, but you can also hear the armor of that New Colin Charm in his tone. It's a vulnerable thing to admit, so he uses a devilish smile and has a wink in his eyes because so far that has worked on every girl here since he got back. Not Pen, though ... he was SHOOK when she rebuffed him and called him cruel.

Yes, he is absolutely panicked that he might lose his one true friend in all of the fickle ton, but also . . . Colin is totally realizing how hot Pen is in the garden scene. Colin is looking into her gorgeous eyes and admitting how she makes him feel and you can see the real-time realization in his eyes/expression. Handshake? He is acting on his impulse to touch her while using his newfound charm to disguise his curiosity.

Colin wants to hang out with her as much as possible because that's how comfortable and appreciated she makes him feel but also it's my opinion that he, at least subconsciously, also wants to keep looking at her, getting closer to her, winning her favor. He's not even thinking about the results of the whole charm lessons thing, he's just thinking about being around Penelope as much as possible because of that realization that she makes existing in a world that is determined to misunderstand him (and has "forced" him to don a mask/facade to survive) bearable.

I agree with those who pointed out that he is taken aback by Pen's awkward flirting session with the fan because normally when they're alone talking all he sees/experiences is her wit, intelligence, keen ability to read between the lines of their society, etc.

Also, you can see he doesn't even care what the other blokes think of her, he thinks she's friggin adorable -- he can't keep the smile off his face even as he's sympathizing with her for going down faster than the Titanic-which-doesn't-exist-yet-duh-but-analogy-with-me-here.

Every moment of the private lesson scene, from him instantly abandoning the card game with his siblings to the way he planned out the whole thing and thought about where everyone would be and what window of time they'd have to "practice" shows THAT HE WAS IN FACT VERY EAGERLY AWAITING HER VISIT for their lesson. Matter of fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the one who suggested the game in the garden to get everyone out of the house in anticipation of Pen’s arrival.

It is this author's humble opinion that Colin really, really wanted to pretend to flirt with Penelope to satisfy his nagging, subconscious (yet fluttering to the surface) curiosity and I AM WILLING TO BET MY TWIN SISTER'S WHOLE 2024 SALARY that (especially after her compliment shook him to his core) they wouldn't have made it much longer without him kissing her if they hadn't been interrupted and she had't read his journal.

He wanted alone time, he wanted intimacy, he wanted to flirt -- they would have charmed each other right into each other's pants if those lessons were allowed to continue, mark my words.

Colin's body was at least several weeks ahead of him. The body doesn't lie. Touching her skin in the garden. Leaning into her whenever they speak (with the convenient excuse of their height difference), pressing his palm into her lower back to escort her to the drawing room, sitting and letting her hold his hand for an unnecessarily long pause before forcing himself to stop staring at her and end the impropriety (escape the intensity of the moment to breathe and process, more like).

Jealous Colin(tm) with his intense eyes and hard jawline is everything and hot af, end of observation.

I love Dream Pen for Colin. The way he dressed her. The way his mind envisions her being breathless for him.

The way he pictures himself just holding her close and indulging in hot, sultry kisses until she's practically melting in his arms. THIS IS WHAT HE DREAMS ABOUT, WHAT HE TRULY WANTS. This boy is a Romantic with a capital ROMANTIC and I JUST LOVE how his dream about Pen reflects that so clearly. We've seen him struggling to pay attention or care in brothels but he displays more sexual intensity, passion, and lust in this romantic wet dream about simply confessing his feelings than any other time he's seen on screen with a woman he's supposed to find attractive.

The "Sweet Treats" scene, as I believe I've seen others pointing out, is --yes, sweet-- at a glance. But also HOT AF. He's pining, he's nervous, he's jealous, she's so sweet and lovely confessing her excitement and hopes for the match with Deblin. But it's also hot b/c I meeeean....The pink everywhere (pink walls, get it), her lips and his reaction to her glancing her tongue across them, his fingers flexing out of nerves but also the subconscious urge to touch, maybe even caress, is all in his stiff, hovering body language. Like, if he could shove those treats off one of those tables, throw her against it and ravage her "sweet treat" right then there in that pink little tent, homeboy totally would have if society/propriety/scandal/watching eyes weren't a concern.

SIDENOTE: I think Deblin was definitely attracted to Pen, it wasn't SOLELY a practical match for him.

He says she can make men wither within seconds of their first meeting and he definitely looks at her in a way that says he's charmed, intrigued, impressed, etc. So I think even they married, eventually he would start to miss her while away, then ache for her, then he would come home to her and he would fall. Gradually maybe, but I do believe Pen was right to hope love could grow between them. However, I'm so so sooo glad neither of them settled.

WHAT CAN BE SAID ABOUT THE CARRIAGE SCENE THAT HASN'T ALREADY BEEN SAID??? It's one of the hottest love scenes I've ever seen, and it's not because everybody is naked or because there's kink or anything crazy. It's because (for me) the actors TRULY CARE ABOUT THE DETAILS. Almost every frame has something you can freeze and stare at in awe, they DID THAT. Colin finally FEELING IT, with the one person who can truly see him and inspire those deep feelings he's been yearning for was HOT AF. Pen basically being at his mercy but also realizing her power over him and embracing it by letting him ruin her because it's COLIN (she wouldn't let anyone else do that, IMO, not even Deblin). MY FAVORITE PART:

At the end, when they exhale and slump into each other/the carriage seat in sync. She looks like she's never felt anything like this in her life (cuz she ain't) and he looks like he's finally HOME. And I'm not talking about his family's estate -- I specifically mean right there in Penelope's bosom, between her legs, her breath, her eyes, her moans for him, like he looks relieved and satisfied AND THEN HE'S LIKE "SO I'M NEVER LETTING THIS GO. DONE DEAL, YOU'RE MY PENELOPE, NOW."

Ugh. I loooove this couple! I HAD TO GET THIS OUT OF MY BODY. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. Gonna add stills for the moments I mention once Tumblr stops being a bitch.

[moti-otp]

You asked for recap, I'll try to give you the shortest version I could come up with

First egg day

Not much, but gives signs of potential. 100% platonic, met literally yesterday

Tho can be the great example for how much their relationship has changed. Gay jokes, "come to the bed, partner", first pet names (still just jokes), but immediately clicked with each other and assured eachother in loyalty

Missa's first return (June~July)

Giving signs from Missa's side. Finding out that there's somebody that is after Phil and feeling jealous, tho understanding why ("ye, he's a kind of a man, you know?" - to Chayanne), admitting Phil as the only person who protecting and helping him from a heart. Probably this's the start of Missa's crush

The Four Months™

Phil used to be really patient person, he always been ready to wait for people as long as needed. But at one moment, he started missing Missa, he started yearning for Missa

Rambling about how everyone is okay with being a single parent and how Missa is never there, actually giving up on him and taking off the armour he made for Missa months ago, getting jealous over Guapoduo (only romantic, married and really affectionate couple on the server at the moment), whimpering over the random skull he found in the dungeon and even collecting every single skull he found in one of the dungeons for no reason

Missa's return

Everything is back to normal! But something definitely changed...

Phil and Missa were really affectionate from the start, Phil always was protective over Missa and tried to help him and Missa always was a bit shy around Phil and flustered by his help

But this time it's all stronger

For the whole journey to find new members (the frozen ones) they haven't left each other's side, even walked off from everyone else just to be alone together.

And this time Phil was even more protective of Missa. Usually the very paranoid man, who was scared of a single little light in the darkness started noticing only those mobs that were attacking Missa, who couldn't not to look at him or leave alone for even a moment, just to check if he was safe. And for a long time everyone saw Phil actually relaxed after so many months of paranoia and fear. Something started changing

And Missa, he was even more shy around Phil, tried not to say a wrong word or anything that could disappoint him, was apologising for everything he ever could do wrong. And something new started happening with him. Flirting. But not just jokes, more of an admiring thoughts that accidentally were slipping out of Missa's mouth without him wanting it. And first time when Missa started rambling™ so Phil couldn't understand him and first time when he actually confessed by saying "te amo"

And then matching backpacks, Missa being very normal with wanting to put Phil's head on his backpack and other members noticing something between them

Missa trying to run away from Chayanne, but confessing something important

Skipping the whole looney tunes episode with the deep trauma under it and getting to the most interesting part

Tallulah and Chayanne telling Missa that Phil was talking about him a lot and Roier, seeing Missa's reaction asking him if he likes Philza (in "te gusta" way) and Missa saying that he's very handsome, but he wouldn't tell him about that because he wants to respect him (plus being afraid of losing him and that they have now)

And then writing a sign with confession that he LOVES Philza (and Tallulah noticing it, but pretends that she hadn't seen anything)

The Mexican independence day

(Oh god, oh boy, i have a lot to say)

The Missa's return was Missa's simping day, well, now it's Phil's turn

Phil was trying not to leave Missa for the whole day, keep him around, but not to interrupt when he was talking with him friends or wanted to go somewhere with them, even if he wanted to spend time with Missa. Only with Missa.

Sneaking photos, [Missa yelling "te amo" in front of everyone to him], trying to drag out of the crowd by lassoing (same that did Roier with Cellbit and Fit with Pac), focusing in the dance only on him, gazing at him in the Order, proposing to leave if he felt overwhelmed, trying to keep next to him in the dungeon, [Missa calling Phil handsome], wanting to stay only with Missa when everyone was going to the Hot Girls' beach, [Missa wanting to go on a date with Phil], gazing at Missa when going to the said beach with a goofy smile, [Missa confessing that Phil makes him nervous], Phil noticing Missa's confession but not saying anything just giggling, [Missa wanting to hug Phil as his last thing he wants to do before he dies (he was okay)]

And then the "see you soon" without seeing eachother after that

Missa's capybara journey

Missa returning without knowing if his son and (not fully back then) daughter were okay, if Phil was okay and feeling guilty about everything he missed. Meeting with Luismi and going to the Capybara village with them

And then- calling himself a parasite, that he doesn't deserve his family, calling Phil "the person of a justice, the best islander on the whole island", capybaras getting Missa to return home and write a sign for Phil

[Few days after Phil finding that sign and trying to find if Missa left anything else for him and getting sad when he realises that he didn't]

The Aquarium(I'm getting really sleepy, help)

Bad meeting Missa at one of the days and starting to gaslight him that he has no home, that nobody cares about him

So he requests to live under Phil's basement in the aquarium that built without Phil's agreement

Missa, again, isolating himself and thinking that he's not enough for his family and that he doesn't deserve to be anywhere near Phil

The Purgatory

The good start with separating middle and awesome end

Everything starting with Phil, after noticing that Missa is on, immediately started to perch everywhere and trying to find Missa. Looking around everytime he heard the noise of waystone

And then, after finally finding him on the ground with everyone else. He first wanted to just glide down, but decided to do water drop (to show off in front of Missa). Then Missa started acting surprisingly clingy and bold- asking Phil to hug him, staring at his chest when he was shaking it for fun (actually was checking if he was alive, but from Phil's side it looked like he was looking at boobs)

And then they got separated

It wasn't much for Missa because he more was thinking about how he will help his team, but Phil was DEVASTATED. The little "noooooo" in despair when finding that Missa is in another team, sadly waving when Missa was standing with his back turned to him, and giving last little glances to Missa (maybe considering if he can go to Missa's team for him) before living

And then Missa, on his own, with only violence around him, realises that he needs Philza. He doesn't just loves how he looks and acts with him, he NEEDS him. He needs his comfort, his power, his protection. And he decides to leave Purgatory just so he wouldn't have a chance to hurt Phil even if his team will win

Meanwhile, somewhere on a dusty floor of a museum crying and sobbing Phil, crawling into a drawing of Soulfire with Missa on it, sadly cooing and totally not needing him as much as he needs him

The Prison

KISS. Missa realises that not only he needs Phil and his family, but that they also need him. KISS ON A LIPS. Phil, again, feeling fully relaxed after long time just with Missa, even sometimes forgetting that they should escape. PHIL ASKED MISSA TO KISS HIM ON A LIPS. And Tallulah finally officially becoming Missa's daughter. THE PISSA KISS HOLY FUCK EVEN CROWS DON'T THINK IT'S PLATONIC ANYMORE

The new start

Missa returning home once again. But everything is new, it's time to start with the white list. But this time he's sure in his feelings and wants to be with his family, wants to protect them and love Phil even if he won't get that back

Meanwhile Phil getting even more possesive over Missa with wanting to kill the villager just because he was sleeping on Missa's bed. He's very normal over his husband, yap

Missa made it canon that he's immortal just like Phil. Giving him even more pet names like "The immortal", "the man of my dreams"(heard that he called him a term that used by boyfriends about their girlfriends) and saying "I hope we'll see eachother soon, handsome" before logging out

Other notes (finally done for now

(FINALLY IT'S OVER AAA, IT TOOK ME AN HOUR, MAYBE MORE)

- Missa also called Phil "daddy" when saw an art of him on a Purgatory loading screen

- Phil, looking at the art of Fooligetta and Leo said: "the family, all together, yaaaay" in the most jealous tone ever

- Phil, looking at art of Guapoduo (again) with fucked up Cellbit said: "Cellbit is a little but fucked up, but Roier will help him, right? Roier will save him". And with what tone he was saying that he was hoping that somebody would come to him and save him too

- when Phil found Missa's "house" in aquarium he was saying "he doesn't- he thinks- he thinks I don't- he thinks he doesn't deserve me"

- in Prison Missa said that apapacho(hug) is that he does to Phil when he doesn't look

- there's like 7 times Phil was gazing at Missa from the side while he was talking with his friends or just was by himself, Phil really likes to look at him

- Fit actually thinks those two are romantic couple because he said "it's none if my business that other couples do" when found Missa's aquarium house (refering to him and Pac even before they got together)

- Cellbit told Missa that Phil is in love with him, but just scared if his feelings and can't accept them yet, but "he sees something really strong here" (quote)

- Chayanne had a backpack called "Phissa"

- Dapper called them lovebirds and promised to protect Missa from anyone if they want to get between him and Phil

- qPhil probably thinks that "platonic" just means "no sex" (he was answering to Cellbit's question about what platonic husbands mean ages ago and Phil couldn't answer normally, but Foolish yelled "no sex" and Phil said "ye, kinda like that")

It's finally finished yippee, hope it'll give you some recap and image on how insane we are here about these two

Words can´t express how I´m feeling rn, the happiness in my body is boiling and i'll explode in million pieces, thanks for this amazing food I'll always be grateful for this awesome work. It took you time to write everything here, Thank you. You're a legend. A great warrior o7

My respects for you comrade

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

I just made myself a cup of a new tea, one from a set that a friend sent me. I was super curious to try it with and without milk in it, so after I take a sip without, I'm going to add milk to my tea.

That may seem like such an inane little story to post on a blog, unless you have an eating disorder. I'm sure many of you know what a big deal milk in tea can be, and what an important act of self-love it is.

It was poured into many of our ears, approaching teenhood in the mid-2000's, not to "drink our calories." For those of us whose restriction was weight-based, many of us practiced filling ourselves with water, with our coffee black and unsweetened whether that was how we liked it or not, and with tea that never contained milk.

Like many people who've struggled with binge eating and with restriction, I struggle with creating anxiety-inducing rules about when is okay to eat, especially if I'm between meals and worrying if I should allow myself a snack, or if it's okay to quench my thirst with anything other than water. This is especially true between meals. For some reason my brain has accepted the "extra" caloric intake as part of a meal, but still balks at the idea of introducing these things independently into non-meal parts of the day. I would like to note that my chronic illness and my body's reaction to food has also influenced this weird relationship between me and my favorite treats, such as a piece of candy, or a beverage that might happen to contain a greater-than-zero calorie count.

But tonight, before bed, I want to try this tea. And it sounds like one that'd be super tasty with milk, as it has cocoa powder and vanilla in the blend. So I let my tea cool in the room with me as I type this, telling myself that I can get up and go back for milk after I taste it.

Now I have gone to the kitchen.

Now I have poured in a splash of milk and tasted. It's soy milk, as regular milk sometimes hurts my stomach and I don't want my sleep to be disrupted. Due to my chronic illness, this is still something I have to think about, and I'll be honest, I hate it. Things like this make it so hard to tell myself I can let go of my food fears, because my brain knows that some of my food fears will turn out to have validity, and so what if they all do?

Now I have poured in another splash. Tasted.

Now I have poured in a third, much larger splash. Tasted.

Oh, this is it. This tea tastes like a warm dessert. But now it's too cool, so I need to microwave it back to its best heat. I used to not want to microwave my food. As a teen I heard a hippie say that microwaves destroy the nutrients in your food because the radiation breaks down their molecular structure. This is absolutely false. In fact, it's been disproven that microwaves break down nutrients any more than other methods of heating food, but for a long time I believed it. And even after I learned the truth, I still found it hard to convince myself it was okay to use microwaves for a very long time.

I have just finished my tea in my room. I took the time to identify that I wanted it. I took the time to truly taste it in several different ways, consider how I felt I wanted it and bring it to those specifications. It wasn't planned for any specific time or day, but I agreed to give myself this the way I wanted it anyway. I've been drinking my coffee with milk every morning, too. I actually like black coffee, but I like it better with milk. And I give myself things throughout the day that I enjoy, to enhance my experience of my existence. Life is hard, and it's okay to allow yourself, to the fullest extent you can, the small joys that bring you through the day.

I wanted to share this with you. I hope you don't feel the crushing weight of morality when staring at a bottle of regular soda and the sugar-free, when you wake up with your morning coffee, when your self-care regimen includes a cup of tea. I hope you practice actively giving yourself the love you need this week. And I hope you give it to yourself exactly the way you need it.