#bc she doesn’t have a last name
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writing lavender house fanfic. there is none on ao3. it is my duty.
#will it be good? i hope so!#great? probably not!#i do not write much#but these characters have a hold on me#and i love some missing scenes#lavender house#lev ac Rosen#evander mills books#andy mills#gene manalo#elsie gold#lee of the ruby#bc she doesn’t have a last name
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i don’t talk about bridgerton on here but just to clarify. i will not be having ANY eloise hate on this account. i will bite.
#eloise bridgerton they could never make me hate you!!#addressing the normal talking points one by one to get them sorted:#- no i don’t care that eloise called pen some names after the discovery. she was devastated and furious.#she can apologise in the future but in the moment of course she said it#- yes pen did write about eloise as a way to save her but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t possibly ruined eloise’s life#- similarly: eloise isn’t (just) angry that she was written about. daphne also went through whistledown and it very much terrified her#so have many other women including marina#- eloise is betrayed because she told pen everything and is realising pen told her nothing#(and she’s probably thinking about any secrets she might have said to her best friend that could now be used against the ton and her family)#- as claudio said: being regency gossip girl isnt a moral girlboss thing its deeply harmful tbh#- pen did have reasons to become whistledown! that doesn’t mean that she’s innocent or right!#- eloise isnt now friends with cressida to spite pen lmao she’s alone and scared and cressida was the last person who offered her friendship#she has no idea how to manage society by herself#(and she needs someone to improve the reputation of her and her family)#- im also convinced she has other ulterior motives for befriending cressida. like she’s keeping an eye on her or smth#- eloise didn’t just ignore anything pen said and that’s why she only just figured it out. pen deliberately didn’t speak like lw to hide it#the moment she did eloise was like huh that’s weird she doesn’t normally talk like that. and THATS when she figured it out#- eloise just found out her best friend has betrayed her and been hiding this massive secret#but she hasn’t told anyone. not even her own family. im not hearing out any accusations of HER of being disloyal#- also pen clearly wasn’t that upset at writing about eloise bc the moment eloise and colin upset her she went straight back to it lmao#side note but no i don’t think the queen is going to name her the ‘emerald’ or anything because she’s suddenly in the spotlight#eloise is tbh the only debutante she actually consistently recognised (for good or bad)#a new dress is not going to be interesting for charlotte to change her whole tradition#tl;dr i love eloise and i will die on this hill#eloise bridgerton#bridgerton
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i got a RC version of the RB18 solely for the purpose of making my cat chase after it cause she loves chasing toy cars and i feel like max verstappen would approve of my purchase
#max verstappen#f1#red bull#formula 1#but she doesn’t like it which is hilarious to me#bc matilda in glitter on the floor is name after my cat and matilda doesn’t like red bull she’s a ferrari girl through and through#life imitates art#but i have a RC ferrari that has been in my closet for 2 yrs that i haven’t finished building so i guess i’ll have to build it#but my cat’s favourite driver is carlos sainz bc she watched canada with me last year and kept tapping the screen when he showed up
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2 hour rough drawing of Ehuang, my precious Green Opal child who I don’t draw nearly enough <3
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness#original character#ehuang beifong#<— finally. a new OC with a proper tag#tbh it is much easier to tag characters who have last names#and we’ve never discussed it but I do think Ehuang carries the Beifong last name. whether or not she uses it is a different matter#I feel like she’s a Beifong officially she never puts much emphasis on it. she prefers the other side of her family anyway#okay moving on from that#next gens for next gens. quite a deep niche in reaching here#but I don’t care. I love Ehuang as a representation of everything good and pure in the world too much to object to her existence#baby girl. sweet girl#and yeah I’ve drawn her with Midori Opal and Suiren before so I thought I’d try something else#and while Kuvira isn’t actually shown here. just know that she’s absolutely tearing up off screen#you can pull the idea of Kuvira absolutely adoring her little niece out of my cold dead hands#wait omg I never posted my earlier art of Ehuang on here have I#okay once I’m done with my current projects I’ll refine and post those#the world deserves to see more of Ehuang#I feel like this particular scenario also hits some spot in Kuvira bc she knows who Ehuang’s bio dad is#and Ehuang looks just enough like him. despite being very similar to Midori. that imagining her with a beauty mark under her eye…#it brings Certain Ideas to mind. very fleeting and eliciting a ‘imagine that. I love this girl to bits but I’m sure glad I’m not her mom’#kind of response. but overall no one really lingers on that fact. I feel. her parents are Midori and Opal#Bataar’s just the donor. no one calls him her bio dad. he doesn’t see her as his daughter. probs Suyin is the only one who puts up a fuss#like not letting up about Ehuang being his kid even though he’s told her countless times that his involvement is irrelevant#he doesn’t wish to be ehuang’s dad. that wasn’t why he helped create her.#he did so because he loves his sister and SIL. because he knew they wanted a baby. not because he wanted a child himself#he’s quite content being her uncle thank you very much. and idk why I just went on this ramble lmao#maybe I should try to write something Ehuang related. explore all these relationships and whatever. we’ll see
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not to be bitter about the Durins again but it will never stop pissing me off to a burning degree that in the movies Kíli dies off in a little corner with no one but one elf he met two days ago around, and she’s nerfed to the point she’s utterly helpless until RIGHT AFTER he’s killed. It feels so bullshit and unfulfilling. I remember me and a friend were huge fans of the Durins (her even more than me) as well as the little Kíli and Tauriel side story back when the movies came out, and we watched it in theatres and she literally said she would never watch that scene again bc it disappointed her so badly. She skips it to this day. Bc why the fuck did they have Kíli die for an elf he barely knew (I like Tauriel but it is true— they’ve known each other for maybe two or three days total) over the family he ran out into battle to defend, the family he set out on the quest with and the family that he was so proud of. Why was he not with his brother, or trying to defend his uncle who was still very much alive and in danger? Tauriel literally just serves to get Kíli killed in that scene, bc they nerf her (CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD. Even against a tough orc she should be holding her own) but have Legolas out there holding his own, and it is nowhere NEAR as emotionally devestating as the single sentence we’re given in the book of how Kíli and Fíli went down defending their uncle. I can almost excuse the change in how Fíli dies bc it does hold emotional weight, but Kíli’s death going from the devotion of family even to his own doom into dying for an elf he has puppy love for while being totally cut off from the other dwarves fucking killed the scene for me. And there isn’t really even a good payoff for Tauriel afterward either. We just leave her there regretting she ever loved him. It hurts me so damn much, and not least of which is because for every video someone does as a tribute to Thorin and his nephews, it always takes a sharp left turn into Tauriel watching Kíli die all by himself and it doesn’t even feel related to the other’s deaths. I think it would have felt much more like the best of both if they’d kept Kíli dying defending his family, and then have Tauriel come to him as he’s dying. But that’s not what happened. It fucking sucks. I promise I do like the movies but I will stand hard by saying that it’s weakest writing is the latter half of the second and the former half of the third movie. It only really picks up to consistently good scenes at Thorin’s battle with Azog in my opinion. Sorry for another brief hater moment but man. Man.
#lotr#the hobbit#sons of durin#thorin oakenshield#kili#fili#kili and fili#(their last name isn’t Durin but I’m tempted to tag it as such since I see a lot of people use that.#though to be fair what other character is named Kíli or Fíli out there lmao)#I fucking LIKE TAURIEL. but she is not more important than his family. like she is a crush he has but UR BROTHER JUST DIED MAN.#UR UNCLE IS ABOUT TO. IM SORRY BUT TAURIEL SHOULD BE ABLE TO HANDLE HERSELF AGAINST A SINGLE GODDAMN ORC.#ISNT SHE A GENERAL??#PLEASE. it hurts so bad. and they have the GALL to remind us abt Dís w the stone afterward. like family was at all involved#in how Kíli died beyond what sent him up the stairs. I don’t even think his last thoughts were portrayed as his family in the movie.#it looks like all he’s thinking about is Tauriel. not the fact that his mother will never see him again. not that he failed his uncle.#not even that he didn’t get to avenge his brother.#then Thranduil comes in and it feels awful bc she doesn’t seem to get any payoff for her character.#and this is a personal nitpick but the dialogue there just. it doesn’t end satisfyingly.#the ‘because it was real’ like never felt impactful to me. it actually felt kind of cheesy?? Tauriel’s lines actually have weight to them#and then Legolas movie bombs that scene too and we just. forget about Tauriel over there VERY LIKELY dying from elven grief#’go talk to the 12 year old in the north. for some reason he’s already called Strider’#and Kíli’s body is RIGHT THERE. they’re doing nostalgia bait and MCU level ‘ohh this guy’ shit RIGHT AFTER THE DURIN’S DIE
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I have to be honest, I hate the “Eddie has so much sex with women, we don’t see him having any problems with it so he CAN’T be gay.”
Like, it took me YEARS to realize that the way I was feeling about sex wasn’t normal, that you weren’t supposed to feel empty & cold & a little gross after sex, when the high of an orgasm wears off. Even when I didn’t really want to have sex, I still did it, bc that’s what was expected of me & I thought it was normal. I had a whole “slut phase” on my late teens-early 20’s, & thought that the way I was feeling was normal. I didn’t stumble onto the word “demisexual” until I was like, 25 years old & had already decided that I was just broken, somehow.
Granted, I am a woman, so the experiences might not be exactly the same, and I obviously don’t know what direction they’ll go with Eddie’s sexuality, but I think for a lot of people that discover their queerness later in life, you don’t even realize that what you’re feeling is wrong or that there may be another way to feel until something happens & you can’t really ignore it anymore.
Idk, sexuality is really confusing & I feel like it’s going to be that much harder for Eddie, considering the way he grew up & his predilection to repression. He could be literally anything.
#911 abc#eddie diaz#I truly believe that Eddie is gay but that’s not really the point of this post#sexuality#911 speculation#I guess it’s spec idk.#am I projecting onto Eddie? maybe idk#also I feel like we’ve never seen Eddie have sex just bc he enjoys having sex like Buck (the other bi character) does#like with Shannon it was mostly about avoiding talking or making their family whole again#we never really actually saw anything with Ana other than a kiss & her comment in the suit shop before he had a panic attack#I think the closest we had is with Marisol but I’m having a hard time taking their relationship seriously#given that she STILL doesn’t have a last name & Eddie moved her right back out & is currently cheating on her… so…#911 discourse#<< idk that this is really discourse or not but I’m going to tag it anyway just to be safe#BSS rambles about her sexuality on main oops lol
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In xenoblade, a cool little detail is how last names are reserved for those with important in power families, because it only really matters in that context. Melia Antiqua, Morag Ladair, Addam Orrigo, etc. only royals have surnames in the first two games.
Then in 3, the main place we see last names is with the City’s six houses. Again it’s a families with power thing, and people who aren’t directly related to a family have less opportunities for rank and status in their society. But the place they came from is rather interesting. with the exception of Matthew who likely had the surname Vandham the whole time based on his last line (and I have a bit of a theory on where it came from) pretty much every other founder would’ve had to choose their surname. Glimmer and Nikol have no family to pull it from, we know Linka doesn’t seem to follow her dad’s longass royal name and Panacea’s parents didn’t seem to have one and Na’el took on a different name than Vandham.
And there’s just something very touching about the founders picking the names that will end up passed down and defining their legacy. It makes my little trans heart full <3 and how it relates to how moebius have basically stripped their soldiers of cultural identity and legacy within their system and them acting in direct defiance to that. And how colonies even then would form their own ways of doing things even within that oppressive system. Me when humanity longs to be creative and choose and shit 🥺
#my theory on where vandham came from is that mio who would become m met/knew nia before becoming moebius bc she didn’t seem that surprised#to see her as moebius and it felt like they’d talked before. nia was clearly in hiding for a while before actually going to sleep and old#city flashbacks have them talk about the queen helping them so it’s not unlikely to think she popped up to help the city every now and then#maybe even tried bonding with her daughter anyways my point is if they met before m could’ve totally heard the name vandham and taken it on#anyways trans right pick a banging last name if your family doesn’t treat you right. or redefine it and make it yours if you don’t want tha#xenoblade#xenoblade chronicles#siren says
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i do get why america listing cirie, felicia, jared, and meme made some people uncomfortable & raised some eyebrows, just with the history of this game. but a lot of the people who immediately got mad were people who have been accusing america of being a harasser and groomer for *checks notes* flirting with a fully grown man who flirts back, as well as saying that she exaggerated her discomfort around cameron, so it’s like, are you serious or did you see she said this admittedly awkward thing and decided it gave you the opportunity to cloak your hate in moral superiority.
#and not to be like ‘these people were all monte stans last year’ but. if the shoe fits.#bb25#like people are saying ‘why did she say izzy’ bc her and izzy have been girl talking every night for a week?#‘why did she say jared he’s with the young crowd’ she knows he’s been saying her name. he’s basically said to her FACE he doesn’t like her#we know she likes meme but meme’s made it clear she doesn’t have the time of day for america so what is she supposed to do there.#like be so fucking for real are u actually upset she said this or do u just hate her confidence.
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#in a strange place today and i need to put this somewhere. i do not have a journal yet. this is it#my grandad was diagnosed with dementia years ago and the grandad i have now is often unrecognisable from the one i grew up with#and while this like isn’t fun and it is strange for him to look at me and not know me more times than he does. it has also been kind of l#lovely?#bc he thinks my granny is still alive so whenever i get to go see him i get to pretend she is too. and she is for a minute. and tho i am#glad she went before him. it is nice to say oh i’m popping in to see her after this grandad and talk about her like she’s hasn’t been gone#since i’ve been ten. my dad has spoken more to him in the last five years than he has his whole life#he was not an easy man. he was loud and friendly and hard working and funny and scary but not easy. in ways he is even#harder now. in others he is easier.#he is more of a child. this is what dementia can do to a brain. we are learning things about his childhood that no one alive has ever spoken#about. that no one knew. my dad doesn’t love him more now but he understands him better#my grandad taught me how to drive a tractor and how to fish through my dad and he has not recognised me in over a year and he#hasn’t walked since he broke his pelvis seven years ago and his muscles are nearly all gone. he is a fraction of the size he used to be. his#personality and body took up my childhood like adults on the screen in cartoons. he hasn’t dressed himself in a decade. he told one of the#nurses that after dinner he wanted ice cream plain like herself and nearly peed when she laughed and told him to fuck off#he is in there. he is himself. i know him. but he isn’t. he doesn’t know me but he allows me to tell him how to ppl he knows are doing. he#still somehow trusts me. we talk a lot about my granny and how she stayed up watching tv again last night so she’s tired today. don’t stay#long when you call in to see her?#whenever we would journey to see him and my granny and get in v late he’d ask us if we wanted apple tart and my granny would say michael.#not ur kids. u can’t parent them. he didn’t know my name yesterday but he asked me if i wanted apple tart#i hope he dies soon. for all that i will miss this. miss my dad having this. he would not want to live like this. it wouldntbe living to him
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I also think the difference between Ladrien and Ladywalker is that like.... the repression goes from implicit to explicit (but still unspoken). Adrien is repressed, yes, but he stops with the repression and he still goes by the same name, he still wears the same face. Catwalker stops and he no longer is. He must cling to that repression for the sake of the relationship.
There's something about the stunted state of growth for Ladybug and Catwalker - Catwalker can't change for the better because if he does, he no longer exists. And maybe that traps Ladybug a little bit, too. Maybe she can't be pushed in the right direction by a partner who can't step a toe out of line in fear of changing the status quo. Maybe they'd both be so afraid of the way they can't seem to break the pattern that they both realize something has to give.
anon you have my whole heart. you GET it.
#miraculous ladybug#read this last night in awe and I was like#oh I’ll have something good to add onto this#but no that’s so It#there’s so much interesting room to play with with them#and with ladrien: they’d get together pretty quickly#and there’s the satisfaction Adrien has always wanted: ladybug saying/knowing his name#and she can be there to comfort him#cat walker is gonna reject all that and be the Perfect Partner#that we knew DOESNT work#and omg. that status quo line wow.#and the ‘something has to give’ can be SO MANY THINGS…..sigh#there’s that comic where ladybug gets hurt and cw kinda freaks out bc he doesn’t wanna be replaced either fjjfjddjjd#and then like what happens with lady&walker when ladybug has her first panic attack in front of him#fjdjdkmdmddm#it’s the fact she’d still fall for him bc of course she would he’s acting like a mix of her two favorite ppl#and then a prince type that can’t show their love back#fave#ladywalker
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does anybody remember when I accurately predicted how game of thrones tv show would end bc I had a basic understanding of how the Tudor dynasty ended. lol.
#like genuinely the parallels in the book aren’t even slick#<-although again let’s hope the book series doesn’t end same as the show LOL#Robert = Henry viii#Joffrey and tommen as Edward vi (boy prince who dies young)#dare I say stannis = Mary I bc religious extremism#Cersei as lady Jane grey probably#or if you want the whole ‘named someone their successor in their will and got killed very quickly’ you could say that she’s Ned#although then succession order would be wrong#that does leave us without an Elizabeth though. renly is my Elizabeth I though 😞#and THEN you get James I coming down from#Scotland to sort out everyone’s mess 🥴#<- and that’s why I guessed a stark. and an unimportant one at that who hadn’t been involved in the fighting I argued. it’s funny that I was#except he was gay and everyone hated him and he set in motion what led to the civil war so 🤷♀️#anyway as a girlie with a history degree nothing in those books is insanely#shocking to ME personally. although it’s interesting to see how my opinions have shifted in the last 4 years#early modern U.K. isn’t even rly my era and I still know this sndjdkfkf#also I know#in theory everyone says the books are based on war of the roses but imho robs rebellion works better in that sense than anything else#so then I use the Tudors as my framing for what goes on during the timeline#but again it’s all circular bc you have the war of the roses and not too much later you get the English civil war so#anyway dynasties I actually studied at uni are like. the Carolingians and Capetians and Hohenstaufen’s / Holy Roman Empire#and then tang song and Sui . which all give me a lot of perspective on how these processes work#election based succession no look at Holy Roman Empire#‘best amongst brothers’ succession yes look at dynastic China#my conclusion here is that renly was correct rip 🫡#<- although I would be remiss to not highlight that several Chinese dynasties did practise primogeniture. but many of the most successful#ones didn’t#like I still can’t believe so many fans still think renly was insane like blood tanistry literally was such a thing historically that it#even has a silly sounding name. it was widely practised#him wanting to call an older brother is also what dany did and no one shits on her for that 🥴
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my mother is gaslighting me again
#she barged into my room and started asking me a bunch of questions#and she did this last night too#like this is my only safe place in the house and now it doesn’t feel safe#I was annoyed at her bc she interrupted me while I was in the middle of something#and she kept asking me if I was alright#and when I said finally I was annoyed with her she got pissed off and then told me I was mean and selfish#I don’t understand what I did wrong#all I want is to be left alone at the end of the day#and she can’t understand that and she thinks im “antisocial” and something’s wrong#I want to cry#I just wanted to be left alone and to play my video games bc im tired#she said she hates the fact I have a computer now#she thinks it’s the computer’s fault but it’s all hers#she can’t understand that she’s in the wrong#I don’t know what she wants from me#she keeps telling me im selfish and she’s called me so many names by now and I don’t get it#and even now when im typing this i feel like im a selfish person bc somehow its my fault even though i know its not#or is it i don’t even know anymore#i just wish i could understand how her mind works and why im always in the wrong
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random nope doodles where nessie is a actual character in the plot
#i love her so much#i wish she was important#like she would’ve come in right when they officially meet antlers face to face but she is just PISSED about angel flaking his shifts#like angel is so embarrassed bcs he just met one of his heroes and he wants to be so cool to these random siblings#but alas. he is a loser who skips work to stalk a alien#nope#nope film#angel torres#nessie whatever her last name is#she prob doesn’t have one </3#nope movie#nope fanart#nope 2022
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i’ll have y’all know that i’ve been researching raven creatures and i’m about to go stupid go crazy and add this lady to the blog when i get back
#i’ve had her concept in my brain for years now but i never followed through with fleshing her out#but the time has come B))#i spoke about her last night BUT i decided she’s gonna be something called a valravn#which yes was in senua’s sacrifice but he was a lil different from the danish myth#which is a raven who becomes this scary creature with intelligence and whatnot who can take a human form#but only after eating a child’s heart/blood#i might scrub that from her origin? and make it anyone’s heart just bc it doesn’t suit her moral code#but we’ll see!#her name’s gonna be branwen/bronwyn bc it means fair raven and that tickles her#with how obvious it is asdfg#i wrote about her personality in the tags of a post if you wanna see#i just love the idea of a creature character who is rightly intimidating but you can befriend her#if you’re cool and aren’t annoying/are forgive-ably annoying#she’s actually a lot more patient and chill than folks think bc she encourages spooky tales so she#can have her privacy tbh#but you want her to kill some guy?? she’s got you man don’t even bother with the details#she doesn’t need them if you really braved scary woods and risked meeting a foul monster to ask#her for a favor :’ )#moral code is strictly according to what she thinks is good and bad and not what is typically perceived#as good and bad#i’m rambling i know but i’m excited okay :’ ))))#get ready to ramble | ooc
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crying laughing about the drama in my life right now😂😂
#so my work friend got fired yesterday because of bullshit reasoning rught#and so tonight I’m out in public telling my best friend about it#but like there’s no one around at the moment when we’re talking about this because it’s right after a movie we went to see#and she pushes the door of the theater open and we are the last ones leaving this showing ok#and she opens the door and she’s shit talking my boss because she once worked with me a long time ago so she knows him#plus I’ve given her all the details I know about this dumb situation#and who should walk by right as we fucking open that door??#my boss’s boss…. the one who fired my work friend yesterday and who we were also lowkey shut talking#so I immediately shut the fuck up because he knows me well enough he could recognize my voice and/or my face even if I’m out of work and out#of uniform luckily he keeps walking straight and we walk in a different direction but I’m like ‘that was *insert boss’s boss’s name*’ so we#are both laughing like oh shit 😂😂 and she’s like damn hope you’re not the next one to get fired now which like cmon I don’t think they can#fire me for that even if I was saying this stuff at work#but we walk outside towards her car and we get close and realize that his truck is like 3 away from her car and I’m like hiding at this#point so he won’t see me bc he definitely went out a different exit door than us and pulled out of the parking spot right as we reached her#car but I’m like…. what are the odds of running into him here? he doesn’t even live here so I wouldn’t have thought he’d be hanging around a#and going to see a movie on a Thursday night by himself instead of driving home since he lives like 3 hours from here
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someone ordered a my chemical romance themed mug that arrived at my house today. with my full legal name on the label. I am 100% positive it was not me (not a coffee or tea drinker + I would have never ordered this design for myself) but NO ONE in my life is admitting to ordering the mug.
#my brother mother and best friend all claim they ordered me Christmas presents#that will ‘arrive late’ due to shipping delays#none of these presents have materialized but all of these ppl deny it was them????#which my brother I highly suspect didn’t actually get me anything this is a long running issue#so I think he’s lying to save face with our parents and hoping we’ll all forget about it#my mother has a bad memory for presents she THINKS there was something else coming but idk if that’s true or not#and my bestie knows my name + address but it would be stupid to order a mug straight to my house with my name on it as a Christmas present??#secret horrific option is it’s someone else from irl who I don’t talk to that somehow has my address 👁👁#bc the internet doesn’t have my full last name
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