#<-although again let’s hope the book series doesn’t end same as the show LOL

[6ebe]

does anybody remember when I accurately predicted how game of thrones tv show would end bc I had a basic understanding of how the Tudor dynasty ended. lol.

[bistevethor]

Steve Rogers Fanfiction Recommendations

Happy birthday, Steve!

I know that there are some (a lot?) of steve fans who sometimes struggle to find fics focused on him, so I am here now putting a list of Steve fics. I was going to fics that I haven't seen recommended a lot and most of the ones on this post have less than 200 kudos only, but I end up putting everything (it's probably easier to put my bookmarks as public but well...). It's a massive list (over 100 fics?), so it's will be separated into several posts/reblogs.

Not all of them are from Steve's POV or even have him as the main 'main' character, but rest assured he played an important role and is featured heavily. Lots of these are friendship-focused but I categorized them. The shippy ones are mostly samsteve, thundershield, and some rare pairings because I don't venture to other ships a lot and when I did it's to the rare ones instead lol. Hopefully, any of you can find some gems from this list and these are as enjoyable or as good as I remembered. I'll continue to update it, hopefully, every time I find new ones.

Fics are under read more.

General

The Rocket's Red Glare

Steve was born on the Fourth of July (no joke), so a party is in order! Unfortunately, PTSD decides to rear its ugly head. Fortunately, Steve's got an entire team at his back to help him through it. And screaming goats.

an entry in the scrapbook of absurdity

In which Steve turns into a baby and bites people.

Baby Steve Adventures

Captain America gets hit by a spell during a battle. The rest of the Avengers look after him.

Do You Remember Being Happy? ('Cause I Sure Don't)

"Dragr," Thor called them. "Demons" Clint had said. "Thieves" is what Steve labels them as. AKA, the one where Steve is captured by creatures that feed off of happy memories, and the team is left to pick up the pieces. Post-Avengers.

In Search of (Bucky, Family, Home)

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov & Sam Wilson

A week following the events of CATWS, Steve recruits Natasha and Sam to help find Bucky.

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Do we need to recap again? You were shot three times, beaten near to death by an enhanced super soldier with a metal arm and then almost drowned. Yeah, your ass is going to need a few more days of healing time.”

The Truth When Captains Meet

Steve Rogers wakes up on an alien’s space ship being carried bridal style by Carol Danvers. As far as first meetings go, it’s memorable.

Irish Coffee

Pairings: Jessica Jones & Steve Rogers

Jessica runs into an incognito Cap at a cafe. They form an unlikely friendship of sorts.

The Lifetimes of Steve Rogers (Series)

What happens when Steve Rogers steps onto the quantum platform to return the Stones? Where does he go? What challenges does he find? Who does he meet? How many lifetimes can one man have?

Fifty-Two Pickup

Less than a week after the fall of the Triskelion, Steve Rogers is released from the hospital. Although his physical wounds are almost fully healed, other injuries need a bit more time, and some help from friends.

little kids get big so fast

Steve ends up having to take care of the deaged Defenders.

Grampa Steve's Bedtime Stories

If Mommy was away for work, then Morgan’s Grampa Steve came over to stay with her. He’d tuck her in, let her give Mommy a kiss on video chat, then hand her the picture of Daddy for his kiss. Once Daddy’s picture was back on the bookshelf, Grampa Steve would turn off the bedside lamp so that Miss Friday could cover the ceiling with stars, and ask Morgan what story she wanted to hear.

“Captain Steve, Grampa! Tell me Captain Steve!”

Grampa Steve sometimes read to her from books and other times watched a movie with her, but her favorite by far was when he told her Captain Steve’s Adventures Through the Multiverse.

On Camping Trips

Sam is more Hermione than Natasha is, and Steve doesn't want to be Harry.

Powerful

Steve loses the advantages of the super-soldier serum. This is not a tragedy.

His Dream

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

As if on cue, Steve cut him off with a loud sneeze.

"Yeah. Like that." Sam nodded. "And please sneeze into your elbow next time, dude. You could've just started an epidemic."

"Sorry. Allergies." Steve excused, and Sam raised an eyebrow.

"How do you know it's allergies?" Sam asked, and Steve sighed, putting the ingredients together and solving the mystery of what the gas had actually done.

The answer wasn't ideal. "It feels like the seasonal allergies I had before. Before the serum- and I haven't had them since the serum."

Realization clicked in Sam's head.

"The gas de-serumed you."

Steve swallowed and nodded reluctantly.

OR: Steve gets temporarily de-serumed, with his height and stature staying the same but his immune system being as bad as it was before, and has to stay in the hospital to prevent a severe allergic reaction or illness. Sam stays with him the whole time, making sure he's not alone.

A Strange Encounter

Things have gone awry and Strange is injured. With no other options, he's called for assistance from Captain America and his team.

even if we're apart, i'll always be with you

Steve finds a dirty toy bear at an abandoned gas station, on the way back from a school trip. He brings him home.

As Long as You’re Not Tired Yet of Talking

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

When Steve Rogers tells her, “Don’t be a stranger,” as they’re all going their own ways after New York, it makes her want to laugh.

Draw/Breath

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

Natasha like knowing what makes people tick. She likes knowing things, about her teammates and her coworkers and herself. Oddly enough, sometimes other people like knowing her too.

AKA: Natasha wants to know why Steve isn’t drawing anymore, and takes the long way round to get her answer. Because why not.

With Magic We Do Fly

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers

In Civil War we see Wanda fling Steve into the air with her magic. They must have practiced that, right?

Que Wanda throwing Steve against a wall. Many times.

Just Like We Practiced

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers

Steve had said, in the movie when he asked Wanda to lift him into the building, "Just like we practiced." But just how did they come up with the idea of her lifting people with her powers, and putting them up somewhere like an escalator? Perhaps it was because Wanda accidentally sent a certain tall, blond Avenger face-first into the floor once and he decided he would help her learn to utilize this as a confidence building exercise. Natasha keeps an eye, Thor and Sam help build the training grounds, and Wanda has found her new home. Takes place between AGE OF ULTRON and CIVIL WAR.

Black and White but Red and Blue

They're watching black and white film reels, but Steve sees them in colour.

"My shield may be black and white but it was red and blue. Just like the blue sky under which red blood was spilled. Like Bucky's blue eyes and Peggy's red lips..."

The Road Warriors

Characters: Sam Wilson (Marvel), Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Wanda Maximoff

It wasn't pretty, but somehow the four of them managed to make it through two years on the run.

We'll Fix It

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

Steve has a hard time after his battle with The Winter Soldier and isn't sure what to do with himself. After not seeing him for a week, Natasha finally shows up to his apartment unannounced to figure out how they can get back to work. There is some crying involved.

From Here On Out

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

The Accords, the search for Bucky, the fight at the airport ... In a world where nothing will ever be the same, sometimes the road to rebuilding trust and friendship is a little rockier than it should be.

AKA, the story of Steve & Natasha and how they got to where they are.

Set post-Civil War but pre-Infinity War.

I have this breath and I hold it tight

Parings: Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers, Clint Barton & Wanda Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff & Vision

Steve finally goes to Wanda’s tiny room and taps on the doorframe, although it’s hardly necessary, with the slightly warped floorboards creaking under his feet. “Hey,” he says. “Got a minute?”

Wanda's been a little withdrawn since Steve broke everyone out of the Raft. She's had a lot to think about.

to you.

Pairings: Pietro Maximoff & Wanda Maximoff, Clint Barton & Wanda Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov, Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers, Wanda Maximoff & Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff & Tony Stark

It's Wanda's birthday today. She's not sure how to feel.

New Love

Pairings: Diana (Wonder Woman) & Steve Rogers

Near the end of World War II, Diana Prince finds herself attempting to reconnect to her long-gone, beloved Steve Trevor. However, she comes across Steve Rogers instead.

Sharing Life (And Canned Green Beans)

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

It’s Thanksgiving, and Steve is hiding in the second living room on the 8th floor of the penthouse apartments with a can of green beans.

I'm Fine

Steve slowly began to realize that the problem with being a national icon, a hero, and a role model, is that somehow, he became more than human. He become a symbol, not a person. So when he becomes increasingly unhappy, deeply depressed, and utterly adrift in a world where he doesn't belong, the loneliness and isolation are unbearable. How could anyone believe that an iconic hero like himself was really just an ordinary kid from Brooklyn, dying inside because everything he'd gained still wasn't enough to replace everything he'd lost? How could he possibly bring himself to bleed on the ones he loves? So he tells himself the same lie over and over, hoping one day, he'll believe it.

dogpile

"My dog ate my mission report" An injured Steve remembers something he has to do. Unabashed Steve and dogs fluff. "Didn't peg you for a pet guy." "Allergies."

Alone In This World (Together)

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov & Sam Wilson

“We’re fugitives,” Steve said finally. “It might never get better.”

“The world’s always going to need saving," Sam replied. "We’re still Avengers. No one can take that away from us.” Then, like they hadn't been having an entire conversation before, “So when do we leave?”

“Once night falls.”

Do we have any idea where she is?”

“No.” Steve took a sip of his coffee. “But I know where she’ll be.”

it gets the worst at night

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

Here's how it goes: Natasha sometimes shares a bed with Steve. It's not what it sounds like.

(In which there are Colombian drug lords, awkward boners, cuddly super-soldiers and the Avengers are all giant dorks.)

Shelter

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

Sam and Steve, right after the fall of SHIELD.

Princely Bickering

Pairings: Jane Foster/Thor, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers & Jane Foster, Steve Rogers & Thor

Steve allows Sam to lean up and inspect his head for bruises and blood. He then checks out Steve’s eyes. ‘Do you know where you are?’ Steve rolls his eyes. ‘Don’t be an ass, Cap, apparently you can break.’ ‘London, England, chasing apparently useless Hydra intel despite having about five hundred international arrest warrants out for us because we’re just that stupid,’ says Steve. Sam pats him - gently - on the shoulder. Life on the run isn't easy, especially not after an injury. Fortunately Steve still has a few allies left.

And The Seconds Tick Down

AU of Civil War. How the world ended in twenty steps when Steve died.

"Grant" and "Francis" Go Shopping

Pairings: Clint Barton & Steve Rogers

Steve and Clint both have holiday shopping to do for their family of choice, so they make a day trip to an outlet mall, have a few heart to hearts, use some coupons, buy a bunch of presents, and eventually get through their shopping lists.

A Tune Without Words

Pairings: Jane Foster/Thor, Steve Rogers & Thor, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

As he and Sam prepare to begin searching for Bucky, Steve gets various offers of help—some more unexpected than others.

Purpose

Tony Stark wins the fight in Siberia completely by accident.

Steve Rogers does not resist his arrest as he is taken to the Raft.

Sam Wilson, T'Challa, and Pepper Potts pick up the pieces.

Full of Wounds and Still Standing on my Feet

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Wanda Maximoff

The five times Steve looked out for Wanda, and one time Wanda decided someone needed to look out for Steve.

Three Awakenings

The first three times that Steve Rogers woke up during his first twenty-four hours in the twenty-first century.

Making Your Own Future

Characters: Steve Rogers, Diana Prince, Steve Trevor Five times -- plus one -- that Diana Prince and Steve Rogers encountered one another.

Better Living Through Pizza

Pairings: Clint Barton & Steve Rogers

Steve takes some time off from soldiering and Avengering to get his head on straight, and Clint is assigned to keep an eye on him, because apparently SHIELD believes in the blind leading the blind. Steve really needs a hobby, since modern television shows baffle him, but Clint keeps bringing him DVDs and pizza.

Five Times Clint Barton Spoke with Steve Rogers about Growing Old and the One Time He Didn't.

Pairings: Clint Barton & Steve Rogers

When Steve Rogers reappeared from the past as an old man, there was a lot of catching up to do. Clint Barton made sure nobody got left behind.

Hammer's Totally Heavy-Handed and Incompetent Revenge

"So, at the end of IM2, Justin Hammer swears revenge on Pepper. He waits until Tony and Rhodey are halfway across the world to launch his attack.

Unfortunately for him, thanks to SHIELD, Iron Man and War Machine aren't the only superheroes in Pepper's rolladex. Steve thinks Pepper's just swell and doesn't take too kindly to somebody trying to hurt her."

Cue badass!Steve and competent!Pepper

Fan Mail

Steve starts getting his fan mail and receives an invitation to the prom. Written for a prompt at the Avengers kink meme. It was a great prompt, and so much fun to write and get feedback for!

Prom. Steve 'Grandpa Iceberg' Rogers at a 21st-century high school prom. "This isn't happening. This whole conversation is just an elaborate practical joke. Bruce really just has orders for widgets or something."

Bruce waved the printouts at him. "Fraid not. I don't really do practical jokes. Messing with other people's moods just seems. I don't know. Karmically unwise."

Mascot

Steve runs. People see Steve run. Steve gets adopted by the neighbourhood he runs through every week day morning. He finds this confusing. Tony finds it amusing.

Locks Not Replaced

Tony angsts back at Avengers' HQ, Ross is a bully and Steve makes sure he doesn't get away with it. In other words, there is much regret, a bit on the philosophy of locks, adventure and far too many Robin Hood metaphors.

woof

For a prompt on the avengers kinkmeme: "...something different happens when Steve gets Dr Erskine's serum plus the Vita ray treatment... Steve does get taller and stronger, but when the first full moon hits, he turns into a big friendly looking dog. Yes, he's a weredog, not a werewolf."

Mission: Baby

Pairings: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

The Asset finds himself in charge of the care of a small baby, but somehow he knows—he has to protect the baby from all harm, whatever the cost.

14 Tracks

Pairings: Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Avengers Team 14 tracks from Steve's iPod and how they got on there.

Life Will Rattle Your Bones

Pairings: Erik Lehnsherr & Steve Rogers

Captain America and the Howling Commandos find Schmidt sooner than they thought... wait, what do you mean this is a *different* Schmidt?

In war-torn Germany, the paths of Steve Rogers and Erik Lehnsherr cross, part, and cross again.

come build me up

Pairings: Sharon Carter & Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

“Do you ever feel like -- like you joined up because you wanted to do good. You wanted to do the right thing but somewhere along the way, you just lost the whole fucking plot.”

“All of the time.”

Or: the one where Captain America and Agent 13 give long distance friendship a whirl.

Down in the Worn Out Place Again

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Wanda Maximoff

“You don't look a day over 85, Captain,” Wanda says.

Natasha smiles, just barely, and nudges Steve with her elbow. “She makes jokes now.”

(Post AoU, stories about friendship.)

Satellites

Characters: Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Nick Fury Pairings: Natasha Romanov & Steve Rogers, Minor Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson, Minor Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov

In the immediate aftermath of SHIELD's collapse and Steve's plunge into the Potomac, Natasha considers her place in the world. Also the fact that Steve is depressing.

Timeless Classics

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Avengers Team Five An undetermined number of times (six, apparently) Steve unexpectedly got the reference (sort of), and one time everyone discovered something new together.

you just wait and see

Pairings: Rocket Raccoon & Steve Rogers

“Thor said you’re the captain.” Rogers says, his voice distant, sad smile growing into a sadder grin. “Tough job.”

The Small Hours

Pairings: Steve Rogers & T'Challa, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

"I'm not getting him back, am I." The words were flatly delivered – not a question so much as fatigued resignation. "We will do everything we can to help him," T'Challa quietly replied, but he wouldn't lie, not about this. Not to a fellow warrior he respected on and off the field of battle. "The possibility does exist, however, that the triggers are permanent."

The Man We All Remember From the Newsreels

Still getting used to the twenty-first century, Steve comforts himself with memories of long-gone friends. But Howard Stark, the man Steve remembers, is nothing like the man he sees in the newsreels.

we're all choir boys at best

Characters: Steve Rogers, Johnny Storm

You are totally getting laid tonight. "Please stop talking." You hijacked my brain first, this is totally not my fault.

Epistaxis

Steve doesn't worry the first time he gets a bloody nose that won't quit. But when it happens a second, third, fourth... He, and his teammates, start to get concerned.

You Close Your Eyes and the Glory Fades

His body isn’t his own, he knows that, knew before the procedure that everything would change. That was the easiest thing to wrap his head around, actually, the physical changes. He’s used to his body betraying him, so this is just another thing to learn his way around. But the colors of everything, even the sliver of blue sky he could see, craning his head at the tiny window, look different.

Looking For Answers (From The Great Beyond)

After the Battle of New York is over, and Loki and the tesseract are returned to Asgard, Steve takes a road trip across the country, and tries to figure out what he wants to do next.

Mourning the Future

Steve's ties to the past and the future are pretty tenuous, and the serum ensures he lives in an eternal present state of ever-youthful vigour. When an old war buddy gets handed his last marching orders, Steve has to wonder if everyone will eventually leave.

Riviera Life

Sam and Steve have been traversing Europe looking for Bucky. Not everyone is convinced it isn’t an open invitation road trip.

Voluntary Bros.

Characters: Steve Rogers, Johnny Storm

"Dude, you could be twins, they tested you before they defrosted you to see if you were a clone or something, or if he was a clone," Clint said.

"I want to talk to him, I think. I mean, a girl threw her latte at me last week for not calling her back and this dude felt me up at an art gallery yesterday," Steve said.

Two Brooklynites and One Big Apple

Pairings: Miles Morales & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers

“You did good out there today,” Captain America said, brushing a layer of detritus from his unfathomably broad shoulder. “I’ll see you around.”

“Not if I see you first,” replied Miles, fingergunning with one hand as he sent a web rope fwipping off into the distance with the other, catapulting himself away at tremendous speed.

... in which two superheroes battle with bad guys, embark on community art lessons, and a friendship forms along the way.

Battle Fatigue

Steve thought he was doing okay. Things weren't going great, but they were fine, manageable even, and then suddenly they weren't.

We Become New Yorkers (or: Five Times Steve Rogers Looked For Home, and One Time Home Found Him)

New York is a million cities at the same time. This is how Steve found his.

A beautiful day in the neighborhood

In which Steve and Peter learn that the best way to get through a bad situation is together. And to avoid collapsing buildings. And that concussions are terrible, terrible things.

Leviticus 25

"You want to save Bucky Barnes? You are going to have to put your own house in order first because he is going to need a rock to cling to. You are not ready to be that rock for him. You owe it to him -- and more importantly, you owe it to yourself -- to figure things out, figure out how you can be happy in this time and place, whether or not Barnes is with you."

Strike

Sometimes the road to recovery involves bowling. Conveniently, so does the one to the Grand Canyon.

Conversation in Wakanda

“I have been told that you had the privilege to share a training session with some of our Dora Milaje,” T’Challa says. “May I ask how it went?”

“Well,” the Captain huffs. “There’s no polite way to say it: I had my ass handed to me. Repeatedly.”

He sounds and looks utterly delighted.

Contact Light

Everyone thought computers would be the thing that really blew Steve's mind about the 21st century. They were wrong. When he finds out that he missed the moon landing, it's the start of an ongoing obsession with space that maybe involves Neil deGrasse Tyson, Twitter, and Star Trek marathons.

Twenty-Two

“This is Lucky,” Clint said when a dog got between him and Natasha. Lucky’s vest was bright, like desert mornings and night explosions.

“Does he help?” Natasha asked.

Clint pressed his hands flat on the counter behind him. “He saved my life.”

Natasha looked at Steve, her expression fierce. Steve resisted the urge to yank down his sleeves. Instead, he dug his nails into the puckered skin on his forearms.

AKA An AU in which Steve is a veteran just trying to survive (or not).

Gray

Peter doesn't expect Steve to show up at his house one night when he gets home from school. He also doesn't expect to have a long conversation with him, and choose to be on his side instead.

We're Happy, Free, Confused, and Lonely at the Same Time.

"Tony isn't sure, but he *thinks* Steve Rogers is going to try and argue with him about not being a kid, while wrapped up in a fluffy blanket and plaid pyjama pants watching a Disney movie. Tony really hopes that is the case. The Captain America voice looses all affect when wrapped up in that blanket and Tony can't wait to inform him as such." - The one where Tony realises that Captain America and Steve Rogers are not the same person, and Steve is so much younger then he thought.

This Isn't A Love Song, This Isn't A Fable

Steve's not OK with people's perception of Captain America, no matter what he says or how much he pretends otherwise. It's like no one in this time period realizes that there's more to him than a spangly outfit. And yes, he's including the Avengers in that. ... or, the one where everything's all right, until it's not.

it's safe here in our new world

Post TWS. In which Natasha and Steve go shopping, have Thursday night movie nights, and learn that Natasha loves to platonically kiss Steve. Which is good, because Steve loves being platonically kissed by Natasha.

Shadowboxing

Pairings: Matt Murdock & Steve Rogers

It doesn’t matter how many times you fall – what matters most is how many times you get back up. Steve Rogers knew this lesson far too well and it was one Matt Murdock had endured all his life. With both men at their lowest, could a chance friendship bring each of them to their feet again?

Everybody Eats When They Come to My House

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

“You’ll ruin your dinner,” Sam says, gesturing with Steve with his spatula.

i fear for the calendar; its days are numbered

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

Before she goes off the grid, Natasha gives Steve her phone number. He’s honored that he’s the only one to be trusted with it, but quickly learns that she spends most of her free time texting him Dad jokes.

Status Quo Ante

Pairings: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

A tale in which Sam suspects he should be used to this by now, for values of 'this' that involve certain folks he hangs out with and situations he finds himself in, Team Cap becomes Team Ex-Cap becomes TBD, and nobody but Clint really wants to know what happened to Scott Lang's GI Joes. (Sam Wilson from the final scene to the mid-credits scene.)

The Glass Parade

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov

Steve thinks that he’s seen Natasha be at least three different people in the short time he’s known her, and he isn’t sure which one is real.

In which the most confusing part of the future is how much Steve has in common with Natasha, and the fact that she seems dead-set on being his friend.

Still Life

Steve Rogers and a very modern form of art therapy. (The one where Steve draws himself out of despair and into some notoriety when his cartoons hit the internet, but he's still not allowed to look at Tumblr without an okay from Pepper.)

Selective Service

The serum's given Steve a lot, but it hasn't taken anything away from him. Not even the things he never wanted in the first place.

I'm a Hustler, Baby

Steve Rogers has a talent for pool--and for making others believe he's terrible at it.

The Healing Properties of Felt-Tip Pens

Rapid healing has worked wonders on Steve Rogers' body, but occasionally it really screws with his head. In the aftermath of torture, Bruce Banner helps Steve to reconcile mind and body.

If I Die Before I Wake

It's his job, as their leader, to endure the sadistic focus of their captor, and that is the one thought that carries Steve through.

Even Gods Do

Captain America doesn't have a good relationship with sleep anymore. Also, he's not a toy.

Under My Skin

Written for a prompt on avengerkink: I want to see something where, for whatever reason, Steve's accelerated healing turns out to be a bad thing. Something where the faster healing is making things worse. I would prefer something other than the standard, super-healing allows for more torture without death. “He's lucky – to have the serum, to have you all.” Tony wasn't sure about that first part. When one faced death and destruction every day on the job, there were many advantages to having a healing factor...and a great many disadvantages as well.

A Glossary of the 21st Century

Pairings: pre-Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov

Steve's sick of not understanding what's going on, and the team are not all that helpful, so he starts keeping an illustrated notebook for further research. With the help of wiki, google and Logan he starts to settle in and find his place in the twenty-first century.

Blanket Gift Policy

“You didn’t,” Bucky said, with no real hope of being contradicted. Clint shrugged helplessly and passed him the large, soft bundle wrapped in shiny purple foil.

“Sorry.” Tony covered his eyes with one hand.

“I’m getting a migraine.”

“So,” Bruce said wearily, “counting Clint, me, Bucky, Tony, and Sam, that brings it up to five.”

“Excuse you, mine’s not a blanket,” Sam said. “Mine’s a slanket. Big difference.”

Bucky resisted the urge to throw the whole heap of parcels at Sam’s head. “Because it has sleeves? It’s still a blanket, Wilson. They’re all blankets. Even Thor’s direct-from-Asgard raven gift delivery was a cloak, which just means it’s a blanket with a strap. We all got Steve a goddamn blanket.”

One Tin Soldier

Written for a prompt at avengerkink: Because really, under any other circumstances, why would they follow him when he's some guy who's younger than the rest of them (time as a Capsicle aside), who goes around wearing that spangly outfit, who's not even used to the modern world? Why Steve Rogers, rather than a Norse god or the CEO of Stark Industries or anyone else?

“Love is for children,” she'd said, but respect knew no such bounds. The five times the Avengers accepted Steve as their leader, and the one time they followed without question.

and if there's life we'll see it

Steve is instantly taken with this idea of having the picture of the person calling you flash on your screen when they ring your cell.

Secure Your Own Oxygen Mask (Before Assisting Others)

Steve keeps going, because they need him. Being Captain America - having the serum - is a responsibility and a privilege he takes seriously, and he won't waste it by sitting around resting in the middle of a crisis. But then the work is over, and the original victims of the crisis aren't the only ones needing looking after.

Way of the Eagle

Clint introduces Steve to kung-fu movies. Things escalate quickly.

Walking Wounded

In the aftermath of the battle against the Chitauri, Steve's doing just fine. Until he's not. Fortunately, Thor is a perfect mother-hen, Tony makes decent back-up, JARVIS is a genius, and Soap Operas are life-changing. (Or, Post-Shawarma Feels.)

[sepublic]

The Castle Car and the Train to Nowhere!

           This was SUCH an amazing and compelling finale, y’all! The way all these things come together, how it just culminates in humble, silly, yet REAL apologies… Concessions, the parallels in the denizens and one another, I love it SO MUCH!

           Firstly, what started as a funny gag photo with Jeremy, Kez, and Morgan, and the meaning expanded upon- SSSOOO clever, like everything in this entire damn series! But also the grief and symbolism, how Morgan is literally like a prison for Jeremy… And she wants to keep him, hold onto him, but she’s not letting him be his own person, and it reminds me of Min not wanting to be left behind by Ryan! And how Morgan takes things personally against Kez for just being herself, for this accident, at Jeremy for leaving her… And how Min learns not to be mad at Ryan and vice-versa, that they FINALLY learn to say sorry!

           There’s so much to unwrap… Jeremy going on his journey, but he never really left, just like Ryan going off but not REALLY progressing! And this theme of progression and journeys, wanting to get it over with and rush it, feeling like you’re trapped and not getting anywhere… Wanting a plan or a destination, but as Kez said, sometimes it’s just about the journey! To just live in the moment, to enjoy and appreciate what happened… To not stay stuck over the past, while also taking responsibility, mutually admitting where you went wrong! Making concessions because you LOVE a person, you want them to be their own!

           How Kez really didn’t just mean to, just like Ryan can sometimes be thoughtless… How the passengers learn to help the denizens and vice-versa in their examples! Jeremy realizing he never really left the fog, and when he figures this out with Kez’s help, in a sense he goes back to where he started; And only by returning can he start anew his ACTUAL journey, just as Ryan goes back home to reunite with Min, and starts off this whole sequence! And GOD, the horror and creepiness of Kez luring them in for a trap, dragging them along without really telling the plan, no trust and how Min feels like he can’t trust Ryan who just brings him and doesn’t slow down…

           UGH IT’S SO GOOD, and how Kez and Morgan learn to confront their issues, how Kez just wants to make up- And Morgan is rooted in place, stuck in the past, maybe kind of like Min? The culmination of Kez being a welcoming bell for people… AND RYAN FINALLY GETTING TO RING HER, we’d never seen ANY ringing and we finally got it! For a moment I thought it’d cut to an actual bell ringing as we see Ryan and Min at a real-life place to check in for their journey… But no, we got it! God, the wordless trust as Kez fully understands and bows her little head, eyes closed… Kez is phenomenal, 10/10, one of THE best denizens in my opinion, alongside Lake!

           Just GOD, the motif of the train and passengers and journeys, the denizens going on their own journey… I must say, with how the denizens can actually leave to hound after the passengers even after the puzzle is done, even taking advantage of the local tech- It all seems very unintended, doesn’t it? And Amelia, lol, we get to sort of see her take-over; We know it happens across Book 4, and we see the effects with how she’s trying to figure out the Steward and take Ryan and Min’s boots for her own experiments, only to mess up and cause the Steward to self-destruct! It’s kind of hilarious how everything stops for a moment and Ryan and Min have no clue WHAT happened, they don’t know who One or Amelia are, they heard their voices last time in that Party Car and that was about it… Hilarious.

           But damn, Amelia just abandoning everyone and telling them they’re on their own, it’s a contrast to how these people are reuniting and finding solace… Well besides Judge Morpho, I’m glad she’s alive after all- I was afraid she’d be decked into the fire, but no, just out the chimney and gone! She really is unkillable, huh… And the Cow Creamer came back, she’s with her kid again! She’s a good and mature mom… And I SAW Kez’s apology coming and I loved it! And Ryan, Ryan wants to move on, he wants to get away and progress and he’s impatient, but he needs to learn to appreciate the journey, even if he has been feeling trapped and held down…

           UGH IT’S SO GOOD, learning to stick with one another! The character themes, the clever bits of worldbuilding across the seasons, coming together like one giant puzzle as we learn and understand more about the setting, even retroactively, as well as some characters… The storytelling is SO concise, sweet, and to the point! Morgan gets to still cope with her own feelings on her own, that theme of enjoying and appreciating what you DID go through, as part of that theme of progress and learning to move on, while still taking it slowly enough to actually take in what’s happening!

          There’s accountability with the apologies, admitting you did wrong, that you’ll actually learn and progress from here, instead of staying in the same places and repeating the same mistakes… It’s wonderfully cheesy but also heartfelt, I ADORE how this show isn’t afraid to be dark and twisted like Book 3, but then have a happy ending like this; It’s the RANGE that is granted by the setting, premise, and anthological story-telling!

           Amelia doesn’t learn, not until she meets Tulip- And it’s SO fun thinking of how these characters all indirectly and directly interact and come together, the parallels… Amelia meets Ryan and Min, then later inspires Grace, she meets Tulip, who frees Lake who meets Jesse… And Tulip’s efforts get Amelia to change for the better, leading her to eventually meet Grace again, as WELL as Simon, and then Hazel who she made! It really is an interconnected web, a story that overlaps and all comes together as one great end-product and recipe, and DAMN if I’m not salty we’re not getting the rest! We’re missing out on a whole second half… But maybe in graphic novel or book- There’s hope and freedom in that medium, let’s not forget!

           Well guys, this was a PHENOMENAL season, and a wonderful way to end the animated version of this tale… Although hopefully, the story continues on in other formats- And who knows, maybe the animated medium CAN be retained, if this does well enough. We’ll just have to wait and see… But in the meantime, this was a wonderful way to end things, and I genuinely hope that Owen Dennis can tell the rest of his story, perhaps in literal books; All of them, Books 5-8, as well as the resolution to Amelia and Hazel! This was purely amazing you guys, and it really made my day… THANK you, Owen and crew, for everything and Infinity Train- I mourn the destination and end after having reached it, but as Kez taught us, you just gotta appreciate the journey, and what mostly certainly DID happen…!

           Even unintended, this works as a nice goodbye to the animated form of the series; So what better way to end, than with a song that makes the most of the animated format? And a song taking inspiration from the Infinity Train and the friends met there… I’ve always wanted to see a passenger incorporate those experiences creatively like that! Who knows, maybe Tulip did so with her games… And in the meantime, I’d love to see a reference to Chicken Choice Judy in a future Book, perhaps just a glimpse in modern time to see how they did! But then again, Owen does like his ambiguity; And even if Chicken Choice Judy didn’t make it, I think Ryan and Min can both agree that the brief tenure was still worth it, no anxiety over the destination- They’ll get there, WHEN they get there, as Min said… They don’t need to control, just adapt and survive! No knowledge nor certainty, no guarantees required- They have their hope, faith, their past, and one another as guidance to keep company, and they’ll never be alone from hear on out! They can learn to let go, and move on… Just as Jeremy moved on from the death of his own lover (and child), so hopefully Amelia can learn as well, too. We’ll see…

           Until next time you guys… Like Ryan and Min, let’s appreciate what we did get, and keep ourselves open to our next destination, whatever it may be, if nothing; The journey was still enjoyed and happened! To our next destination, or shall we board off at our final stop- We’ll just have to wait and see.

[jacaranda-bloom]

FIC WRITER QUESTIONS

Thank you to the lovely @allwaswell16 @runaway-train-works @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed @uhoh-but-yeah-alright and @evilovesyou for tagging me to answer some questions about my writing.

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

47

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

901,445 (Hoping to hit the Magic Million by the end of the year!)

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

1 (One Direction)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

When Tomorrow Comes 1155

The Baby Whisperer 950

Love, Ever After 898

Harry Poppins 856

Play Me A Memory 760

More under the cut…

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh gosh. Uhm. I don’t really write angsty endings? All my fics have Happy Endings and most have epilogues to round them out and tie them up in a bow. Perhaps I’d say If You’re Out There (I’ll Find You Somehow) purely because (spoiler ahead) the epilogue is written 100 years into the future so they’ve both passed.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Interestingly, I would actually say the answer is the same as above, If You’re Out There (I’ll Find You Somehow). The epilogue is so uplifting and I cry happy tears every time I re-read it. It’s written from the POV of their granddaughter and you get to see the world they had a hand in changing for the better through her eyes, so you get a sense of how impactful their lives were on the rest of society. Oof, tearing up right now just thinking about it.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Yeah, I have actually. I really enjoy doing new takes on an existing universes, although they aren’t always the easiest thing to pull off tbh. I’m not sure which I would say is the craziest, but the hardest to write was definitely The Peter Pan/Hook AU.

Harry Poppins - Loosely based on the book/movie Mary Poppins, but without any magical aspects.

Playing To Win - Set in the Big Brother house.

The Pirate and The Piper - A Peter Pan/Hook AU which I took a lot of liberties with.

In The Still Of The Night - My Dirty Dancing AU.

A Hungry Heart - This is a Great British Bake Off AU that is due out in September for the Cliche Fic Fest!

8) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Whoa Nelly. Yeah, I do. All the time. Every fic actually. There’s only one, Exposed, the only fic I’ve published that’s not rated Explicit and doesn’t have smut. But, to be fair, the challenge was to write exactly 666 words and I still managed to get the implication in there. Plus, Louis was naked and Harry was applying body paint for the majority of the story, so like, I think I can get a free pass on that one - I tried!

In terms of what type of smut, I guess it varies depending on the story. I tend not to push the boat out too far, but I do dabble in BDSM in quite a few of my fics. A recurring theme in the comments I receive is that my smut scenes are well constructed and detailed, without being too tedious or drawn out, which is lovely feedback to get because they can be challenging to write.

9) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Absolutely. Every single one.

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not often, people are usually so kind, but there have been a couple.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of!

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah, quite a lot, particularly on Wattpad, all with my full consent. That said, I’m thinking of stopping this because it’s getting a bit out of hand and I’ve been feeling uncomfortable about it recently for various reasons that I won’t bore you with here. 

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! I don’t think it’s really my thing tbh. I get very in my head about writing and struggle even to brainstorm or share too much until I’m well into a story.

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

Of the 47 fics I’ve written, there are 45 Larry, 1 Narry, and 1 Louis/Dermot O’Leary (I think mine is still the only fic with this ship hahahaa), so that’s probably a good indication of my fave writing ship.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I have one lonely WIP sitting on AO3 from 2018. I keep promising myself I’ll finish it and it’s on my schedule every year, then I get distracted by other fics/fests and it gets pushed back. Plus, it needs a complete rewrite because my style has developed so much since I started it, so it’ll be a big job. Based on that, I think that the fic, in its current form, won’t ever be finished as the rewrite will completely wipe out what it was, although the underlying plot will still be there.

16) What are your writing strengths?

World building (or so I’m often told). I write very visually and people often say they can imagine the scene exactly, or that it’s like a movie, or that they think it’s actually a real place I’m describing, when most of the time it absolutely isn’t, it’s just something I’ve created in my weird brain.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue (although my lovely beta disagrees) and telling rather than showing. They’re both things I’m actively working on.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’ve never really considered it. It’s not something I’d shy away from necessarily, but it’s just never come up.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

One Direction. First and only.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Wow. This is really tough because it changes over time. I find that once I’ve finished a fic I don’t want to revisit it for a few months because I’m kind of over it. But I find comfort in them after a while, like I get to go back to that happy place and immerse myself in that world and the characters again, similar to catching up with an old friend. It’s familiar. I think I also like different stories for different reasons and I’m drawn to various ones depending on my mood. My top 3 (although, ask me next week and the list will probably be completely different!) would probably be:

1. If You’re Out There (I’ll Find You Somehow). Written for the hybrid fic fest (a fest I created just for this fic lol). It’s not everyone’s cup of tea due to the hybrid aspect, but it’s one of the stories I feel is the most rounded from a character development perspective and the world building was pretty epic, if I can be so bold as to throw that out there myself!

2. No Going Back. One of my Big Bangs from 2020. I adore the way their relationship develops in this fic and the setting (as remote lighthouse keepers) was such a lot of fun to write. Plus I got to collaborate with an amazing artist who created an entire website as an accompanying travel blog which was truly wonderful.

3. From The Heart. This is a series I wrote for wordplay back in 2019. I had no idea that what I was doing was so unusual and so meta by having Louis essentially write for the equivalent of wordplay in the fic. It was such an fun way to share my writing process and challenges I encounter (exactly how many synonyms tabs do I have open at any one time?!) and I thoroughly enjoyed the outcome (although getting there was definitely a struggle).

~

This was really fun and thanks to anyone who made it this far! Writing brings me so much joy and is a wonderful outlet for all the imaginings in my head, so I appreciate everyone who supports me and joins me on that journey.

~

I’m pretty late with this and I’m not sure who has already done it but I’ll tag @fallinglikethis @homosociallyyours @lululawrence @reminiscingintherain and @beau-soleil-louis if they’d like to do this and haven’t already.

[percyjacksonfan3]

The Last Olympian Thoughts

So because I have absolutely 0 self-control or restraint when it comes to this series and its characters, and for The Last Olympian in particular, I could not put TLO down. Because of this I figured I couldn’t do the usual photo reaction posts I have been so far, because the spam would just be ridiculous, so I am stealing the idea from @yourstrulytaaay​ to do a masterpost instead. (Adding a Read More cause this got ridiculously long)

Fun fact, TLO came out right after i finished reading the series for the first time so it's the first PJO book i bought  and my only hard cover one for the og series. I checked the year and turns out it was published 2009, which means i was actually 9 when i read the series for the first time. I realize this is not really a fun fact but i thought i was older when I first read the series so it's blowing my mind a little ‘cause now I’m 21 and everything hits different and i still have so much love for this series and the characters Okay onto book thoughts: - i was right that this book is gonna destroy me, the first line alone made me so excited and nostalgic it's ridiculous - I love Rachel and Percy sm tbh. Her being a bit of peace and normalcy in his life without always reminding Percy of who and what he is is so good for him. Just a little escape

- of course by the end of the book that's not the case any more but by the end he's lived his prophecy so he doesn't need it as badly, plus he and Annabeth are solid again - Percy saying Annabeth has been hard to be around lately... Ouch my heart. Luke really is the last thing that keeps them from being together and Percy is so jealous and Annabeth so torn and in pain, i feel so bad for them both

- Beckendorf 🥺🥺 - the telkhine with the Lil Demon lunchbox!! I forgot about him. Percy: 'i left him alive, partly because his lunchbox was cool' is one of my absolute favourite lines tbh - Paul taking Percy crabbing and being imperative in helping Percy kill the giant crab 💖 Paul Blofis is important and deserves the world, okay? - aw Percy, you can't save every demigod bb

- 'i had to fight him eventually. Why not now?... What difference would a week make?' Oh Percy you have no idea - real talk tho, the fact Kronos possessed Luke's body would also mess me tf up. Percy keeps forgetting it's not Luke anymore and yeah, that would be so so hard and confusing af, like what another smart little mind game for Kronos to pull on top of everything else - the fact Percy fights Kronos before getting the Achilles Curse and actually doesn't die within seconds is... Astounding. He kicks him in the chest! And yeah Kronos is weaker and still adjusting to Luke's body, but Percy is having trouble fighting Luke cause they used to be friends - Percy breaks Kronos' time magic!! Like?! Boy is POWERFUL.

- OUCH - honestly Luke, Thalia and Annabeth's family breaking the way it did... Don't talk to me. Poor Annabeth, Luke betrayed them, Thalia joined the Hunters because of Luke's betrayal so she's pretty much AWOL all the time and then Luke dies. Like Rick wtf, my heart can't take it? -Percy and Tyson having each others backs when talking to Poseidon in the underwater palace is the brother-brother relationship we love to see - Percy trying to stick a sand dollar in the vending machines at school 🤦🏻‍♀🤦🏻‍♀ - the whole underwater interaction at Poseidon's palace? Perfection. Awkward family drama and all - Connor falling out of the tree when he sees Percy because he's so excited 😂😂

- 😭💖

- k, ik Clarisse isn't perfect but tbh if i was a child of Ares whose father was disrespected and hated by my fellow campers (ares deserves it but still) and that disrespect trickled down to how the other campers treated ME (which if Percy is reliable here, it obviously does) then i would also be irritated at being used for muscle and nothing else? And just expected to fight with the people who act as if they'd rather not have Ares kids around the rest of the time. Like Clarisse isn't totally wrong - Percy reading the prophecy, seeing he's meant to die and just being like 'i do not see it' and refusing to outright think about it makes me so sad for him - (but it taints every action after and he's super reckless afterwards bc of it- including finally breaking and accepting the Achilles Curse) - (also him taking this as the last straw and finally beginning to show Annabeth how he really feels, cause fuck it, he's dying anyway) - Give me more info about Rachel's backstory and family Rick!! -  how did i forget Percy willingly eats chocolates that taste like cardboard because 'i didnt have anything against cardboard' like sir? Ik Silena didn't want them but still? - 'she'd always been cute, but she was starting to be seriously beautiful' STOP, MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT - Percy staring at Annabeth and forgetting what they're talking about cause hes so distracted 👌🏻

- hmm yeah... For some strange reason.... - i forgot how Percy totally bombs this convo bw them and now want to cry 😭 Annabeth is trying to talk about what's important and Percy, you sweet oblivious man, you're shooting her down without even realizing - love that they're both on the same wavelength tho. Percy two lines before, hmm it's cool to date ppl from other cabins, wonder why im thinking that around Annabeth, my best friend in the world, and then Annabeth a beat later, hmm, let me bring up Silena and Beckendorf and how it's important to be with the people you love when you have the chance, no way Percy will miss this huge hint right? - they're the best - k i honestly forgot Percy full on physically intimidates Leneus like that - luke telling his mom if he ran away the monsters wouldnt get her..i can just imagine luke crying when he says good bye before running away because he thinks it's his fault his mom is like that and he cant take care of and protect her anymore because it's too hard - uh oh now i have angsty pre-lightning thief luke fic inspo... Him, Thalia and Annabeth on the run... The ANGST -  Rick holds absolutely nothing back in this book and i am in pain - HESTIA!! 💖💖🥰 - actual loml - i love that Rick titled this book after her and that he wrote such a great series about the importance of family (biological, found or otherwise) and home, and that he said actually Hestia is the most important bc shes the most humble and keeps the peace and knows when to fight and when to yield and you protect what you love, which is your home - i just... Adore Hestia - Grover! Missed you babes - Hades is so so horrible to Nico, always comparing him to Bianca :/ - but i do love Hades, Persephone and Demeter together they make me laugh - oh god the River Styx - Achilles 🥺 - Annabeth being Percy's lifeline is, and continues to be, A Lot™ - 'my name was Percy Jackson. I reached up and took Annabeth's hand.' LOL Why am i crying? - Like the fact there is no Percy without Annabeth, and that remembering her literally reminded him of who he is in his very soul... It's fine im fine - i won't even get into the parallels of her being his lifeline now and then later when Hera takes his memories but leaves the memory of Annabeth for Percy to fight to get back to (anyone who wants to yell about it with me... Feel free to message) - badass Percy is my fav Percy tbh - him defeating Hades?? Like? Hades is arguably the most powerful god, okay - i feel bad for Nico but if i was Percy I'd do the exact same, Nico, sorry man but this is a high stakes time crunch deal and Nico is literally the only hope of persuading Hades and distracted by his own internal stuff - flashbacks to Luke, Thalia and Annabeth hurt, ow - George and Martha are the best - damn i forgot Hermes full on nearly kills Percy here, yikes - Luke stop cockblocking Percabeth challenge

- i love!! Percy's love for New York!! So much!! - Percy leaving to live in New Rome in HoO is a lie and this is all the proof i need for why - the fact the entire last half of the book is the battle and aftermath... Such great buildup and pacing. All the tricks and twists and battles in this War of Manhattan? I would not take out a thing, Rick, you legend - of course then the final battle in hoo with the gods is what? Two pages? Ugh, don’t talk to me about my hatred for BoO and HoO - 'no detours you two' is still the cutest thing!!! - THE HUNTERS!! Thalia i missed you - good job Percy, you finally spent your sand dollar - Minotaur!! - 'dont i get a kiss for luck? Its kind of a tradition right?' Percy finds out he's gonna die and is out of fucks to give and honestly I support him - also Michael just standing beside these two while they're flirting like umm 👀 👀 while a monster army marches towards them, nbd - Annabeth taking Ethan's knife meant for Percy!!! Cause she just knows his weak spot without him even telling her! They literally invented love - Feral Percy is so scary omg, i love how well Rick incorporates the Achilles Curse in this novel, with the whole heightened weaknesses and stuff ans the parallels to Achilles arrogance being what killed him and Percy's loyalty, fierceness and protective instinct being his own heightened weakness - the fact that Percy is the one who inadvertantly kills Michael Yew tho, I'll never recover from that - the fact Hades offers Maria di Angelo a golden palace by the Styx like how Poseidon offers Sally a palace under the sea tho. Let's talk about that parallel - the entire talk with Prometheus is so so good - not me picturing young Luke hiding in the closet to get away from his mom when she has an 'episode' -i love callbacks in stories and all of the callbacks to the rest of the series in this book make me very happy (medusa, minotaur, the underworld, Rainbow!! My baby!!, Daedalus and more) - Percy summoning a wholeass hurricane against Hyperion - the Party Ponies! They're so chaotic, i love it - Dionysus! 😁 I can't help it, i love him - Percy absolutely losing it when he sees Sally and Paul asleep in the car 🥺 - Rachel telling Percy he's not the hero screws with him so much :( poor bb - although i really really love how Rick wrote this, it's so refreshing to not have one chosen one save the world, but a combination of people - the drakon, Silena and Clarisse make me cry - the Patrochilles references, im not okay - Annabeth giving up on Luke after hearing what he did to Silena and Percy telling her that doesn't make him happy 😭 that whole interaction makes my heart ache - Percy giving Hestia Pandora's pithos 🥺 - and Hades, Nico and the others coming for a final attack is so badass, i love it - listen im glad the og trio were the ones to confront Luke on Olympus but the fact Thalia got so close and then pinned by a statue of HERA makes me so sad. Ik her and Luke were finished and she coped by cutting him off completely and giving up all hope but i would pay money to know what they would have said to each other to say goodbye - Ethan 🥺 - Poseidon joining the fight against Typhon is so cool, such a great scene - 'PEANUT BUTTER!' - Annabeth you brilliant badass you - RIP Luke, you werent great but you werent the worst either - the gods just rolling up seconds too late, wondering wtf happened in Olympus and who the dead body is - the chapter where the Olympians meet and give out rewards is one of my absolute favourites (again i am incensed we didn't get anything like this in HoO) - will Percy turning down immortality ever not make me scream in glee? No? Alright then - Annabeth being relieved like Percy was relieved at the end of Titan's Curse tho - oh Hermes :/ - its so hard reading all this and knowing what comes in HoO... Like it's such a cathartic, earned and mostly happy and peaceful ending and then HoO comes along and undermines it all - aww Rick let Paul see Olympus somehow pls, he deserves it, he killed a dracanae - (i would also love to see it) - Percy being more upset Rachel took his pegasus than her going to Camp and possibly dying, lol, priorities dude - i honestly think that Rick had other ideas for the second Great Prophecy and how things would go down in BoO, cause the prophecy like... Barely applies to BoO, Doors of Death are in book four, and explabations of it is all so unclear when Rick is usually pretty good with that stuff - PERCABETH - lol Percy complaining about privacy when he and Annabeth are caught kissing literally in the middle of the very open and public dining pavilion, okay - BEST UNDERWATER KISS OF ALL TIME - that's it and im a glass case of emotion - very happy to say that this series remains my favourite of all time 💖

 If anyone ever wants to come gush about anything Riordanverse related feel free, because as you can see I have a lot of thoughts about it all

[break-slash]

Puzzleship JP & KR Fancomic Recommendation List

UPDATE (19-12-2020): Added two more artists and two more titles on the Japanese lists!

I don’t consider myself as someone very tidy and organized, but I just like making lists of the things I love, somehow. Hence this post. I haven’t been in the fandom for long but I thought I’d share some of my favorites primarily from two sites: pixiv and postype. Most of the postype ones are behind paywall, and I will mark them differently.

Some of my favorites come from the same artists, so I’ll also link their pixiv profile on top of my favorite work of them.

(I actually bookmarked a lot and picking them isn’t an easy task, so I will update this step by step. If you see only a link of an artist, that’s the reason, but I can guarantee you will love their works! Feel free to recommend me yours through reblogs or DM as well!)

Japanese

Artist: CYHGM

She is a Chinese and is more active on Weibo (she posted tons of puzzleship there, but my Mandarin is beyond rusty so I could only cry in despair lmao), but she has two fancomics that I absolutely adore of. Those two mentioned fancomics are:

The Past and The Future. You can check my translation for this one here. It tells about Atem who gets transported to 3000 years later before his coronation, and that’s where he met post-canon!Yugi. Just... everything about this comic is so wonderful. I teared up at the last page, not gonna lie ;_;

The Pharaoh and The Fairy: An Ancient Egypt-slash-fantasy AU featuring the S0/TOEI casts. The fairy Yugi was saved by Atem, and it’s an obligatory for fairies to grant their savior’s wishes. However, Atem doesn’t exactly have something he wants of, and this confuses Yugi on how he should repay him back. Pure undiluted sugar, and fairy!Yugi is just so cute.

Artist: Fushitas

Arguably one of the most popular Puzzleship fanartists in the JP fandom (look at their number of followers on Twitter, man), but maybe it’s also due to the fact they were in AoT fandom too. They’re mostly active on Twitter, and if you also watch Zexal, they draw tons of Yuma-centric pairings too. They have released lots of books, and their prices on the reseller sites are... well, let’s just say, unbelievable. Just to show how famous they are. 

From everlasting to everlasting: Set after DSOD. A mysterious figure appears in front of Atem, claiming to be his queen. Everyone in the after life somehow acknowledges this person, which makes him even more confused because he’s the only one unaware of this. On the living realm, Yugi who is on the way to his home got hit by a truck (isekai much??) and when he woke up, he suddenly plays the role of Atem’s queen. I’ve always adored Fushitas’ drawing, and this is no exception. The story is pretty simple, but is still good! The ending of this comic is everything I’ve always wanted from the canon lol. 

The King’s Guest: Ancient Egypt AU. The councils are starting to get worried because Atem shows no interest in marrying someone, so Shimon opens up a “chance” sort of for civilians to become “someone for the Pharaoh to talk with”. The civilian Yugi takes this chance right off the bat, and stuff happens? This one is just so sweet and the misunderstanding later in the story kinda cracks me up. I really love the way they build the two’s chemistry in here.

Artist: usi 

They only draw two puzzleship fancomics, but both are so good and explores the themes I’ve loved from the pairing.

The Lotus’ Devil: Set post-canon with a flashback. It tells about Yugi’s regret in the past where he wanted to show Atem a small pool supposed to be full of lotus flower only to arrive seeing them not blooming. Fast forward to the post-canon, he found out that there’s actually a monster residing on that pool. I really, really loved the ending scene of this one.

Who’s The Detestable, Fortunate Guy Here: I think this is set sometime in the canon story, although the exact timing is unclear. It’s a short comic of Yugi asking Atem to pretend to be his date and go on a “dating practice”. A very pleasant hurt-and-comfort kind of story, and who doesn’t love a story of them dating anyways? :”D

Artist: Houzuki Anzu

She doesn’t draw much YGO, but she has some Arc-V and 5D’s fanarts too if you watch the series! 

Hourglass: Sets after the Memory World arc. Yugi keeps hearing a strange sound inside his mind, and he finds out there’s a huge hourglass standing there, guarded by the will of Millenium Puzzle. Apparently, the hourglass is linked to Atem’s remaining time in the living realm? Anyways, the ending of this comic might look like a cliffhanger, but I personally think it isn’t. I love the theme this comic picks to explore and the way it is presented.

Present: Same setting with Hourglass, but this one focuses more on Atem sorting out his feelings about the Ceremonial Duel and what he has learned from Yugi in general. It’s a very nice extra detail that the canon slightly lacks of, and I just love... bittersweet stuff in general haha.

Artist: Chiriko

Are you the type who wants puzzleship to be full of happiness and fluff and nothing else? Well, she has a number of comics to fill that need! I actually love all of her works, but if I have to pick, these two are my favorite:

...Don’t Ever Leave Me Again: A short story about Yugi having a nightmare of where he was stuck in the fire accident at Otogi’s store. Well... this isn’t a fluff sort of, but it’s... a happy ending still? /shot

[Untitled]: A dialogue-less comic, but this is the sort of post-canon what-if that I really, really like. Atem stroking Yugi’s face while sleeping is just... so soft man....

Artist: Komori Nea

Their art style was one of those that’s very noticeable and has a certain charm on it. They are pretty active on Twitter, and even draws puzzle comics once in a while that haven’t been uploaded to pixiv (which is why I recommend you to check their twitter gallery too haha)

The Soul Stays Awake: Post!DSOD. Atem comes back from afterlife in hoping that Yugi would be as happy as he is, but months after, Atem’s existence still hasn’t been registered on Yugi’s life just yet. Another post!DSOD take that I like which involves the fear of another farewell and uncertainty, but this is a good hurt-and-comfort. I swear, it’ll hurt you just... for a while. :”)

The Attack’s Aim: Set during the canon series. A short comic mostly portraying Yugi’s hidden strength but also the tenacity of duelist that is not only targeted toward the opponent, but also to Atem, without the person actually noticing it. The last page of this one is so... soft and gentle I had to put it into this list.

Artist: caf

Often draw with S0/TOEI style, characters and characterization in mind. Their coloring in illustrations is so soft, plus artists who specialize in S0/TOEI style can’t be found so easily. Their comic style is not a manga-like one and they write the dialogues with handwriting, but if you can read hiragana and write and understand how kanji works (so you can write it on translation machine), their comics are easy to understand!

magenta: S0/TOEI AU where Yugi and Atem are two separate person. A short comic of Yugi lying under the rain as Atem searches for his whereabouts. I really love the way they portray the rain and the atmosphere surrounding the scene. Or maybe I’m just biased with rains in general, ahahaha.

Yuugi and Mao’s Stay Home: Same AU as above. Our two boys has to face the same shit we do IRL in this comic, which is quarantine. Atem offers to cook something for Yugi since he can’t eat outside. You love seeing Yugi eating stuff? This is a perfect comic for y’all. 

Artist: Kkyut

Artist: Kayu(i)

Others:

Gemini: As Atem comes back to the living world, Yugi faces the dilemma of having being separated by “his other self” physically and mentally. A short comic, but the lines the artist used are so... beautiful. Like, the way they describe Yugi’s loneliness?? Just hits the park so much. 

Until The Hourglass Runs Out: Set after the Memory World Arc. As their farewell day goes closer, Yugi decides to give Atem a full control of his body at school so he could spend his time with Jounouchi and the gang more. However, things don’t go as smooth as Yugi had expected. If you like that little teeny weeny pain before the Ceremonial Duel, this comic perfectly suits the taste. 

see you sometime: Post-canon. Mahaad offers Atem a chance to meet Yugi in the living realm one more time, but with several conditions. Firstly, he could only stay for a day at maximum. Secondly, Yugi won’t be able to remember who he spent his time with after Atem hangs out with him. Thirdly, Yugi will not be able to “recognize” this Atem; he will only be registered in Yugi’s mind as a new classmate. A bittersweet comic in whole, but seeing the two having fun like a normal teenager would just makes me grin.

After The Rain: A dialogue-less comic, so everyone would be able to read this right away. A short comic of the two, but still very cute and wholesome!

The Tropics of Horus: Post!DSOD, Atem has to chase Kisara who lingers around Kaiba’s soul and he needs Yugi’s help to bring Kisara back to afterlife, but he has his own ulterior motive. This manga is so dialogue-heavy and might be hard to dissect especially if you don’t understand JP grammar and context, but the time spent trying to understand the meaning behind every words will be worth it. That much I guarantee. Just... everything about this comic, and how Atem’s “ulterior motive” connects to our boys’ adventure in canon series are so well planned. You can also purchase the R18 version in a form of the book here (toranoana)

Christmas Day: S0/TOEI puzzleship hint (dark puzzle???). There’s something in store for Yugi in Christmas, but this one might surprise Yugi a lot. It’s not that the prompt of “Atem gets separated from Yugi temporarily” is uncommon, but it is still a sweet one and makes you smile throughout the pages. 

Korean

All titles mentioned here are not free unless mentioned otherwise. Also I don’t understand Korean except being able to read Yugi and Atem’s name, so my story interpretation might be wrong. If you understand Korean, I’d really love for you input! ;_; 

You can check out on how to buy comics from postype here

Yugi’s 2020 Birthday Anthology: Rain and After End

This is an anthology consisting of four titles, but they share the same (or similar) setting where Atem is reincarnated, but he doesn’t remember his past (or has not yet, depending on how the story portrays it). Some are age-gap (adult!Yugi and high school student!Atem), so you might want to consider that if it’s not your cup of tea.

To Like Someone is to...: Age-gap setting. Mostly tells about how Yugi deals with his feeling as the reincarnated Atem in front of him turns out to have a feeling on him. I like how the story’s conclusion is that Yugi will sort it out slowly while also teasing Atem how he’s “too early” to date Yugi w.

In A Circle: A story about how the two met through an online chess game. Iirc Yugi works in a game company and Atem is sort of a famous e-sports player in this setting. There’s a lot of dialogue in this one and the app sometimes can’t process them very well, but I liked what I can understand from it! not very convincing is it haha i’m sorry i shouldn’t have done this

Familiarity: Age-gap setting, where Yugi becomes Atem’s caretaker. The comic mostly focuses on how Atem notices how kind (or too kind) Yugi is sometimes, but there are times where he feels distant. The plot where Atem gets into a fight with the other kid in his school because the kid mocks Yugi, and how Yugi just... accepts it even when Atem doesn’t want to say his reason of punching the kid is just.... god... I love this kind of age-gap setting like this I guess ;_;

Touchdown: Age-gap setting, but Atem is older in here (university student). The two goes to Atem’s university festival and they think about their own feeling when they got separated. On their way to drop Atem off, he confesses to Yugi, but Yugi is still unsure on his overlapping feeling between the reincarnated Atem and the Atem he knows. Make sure you play Motohiro Hata’s Rain and Aimer’s After Rain during the car scene to make the “rain” mood works even better :”)

Others:

Try For Point: A continuation of Touchdown, where Atem (like, the one from the past) visits Yugi in his dream and helps Yugi in sorting out is his feeling toward his reincarnated self. Atem’s advice is so sweet and there’s one certain line from this comic that I remember very deeply - there’s a part where he says, “If you don’t pull out the card, you won’t know what card it is, right?” to help Yugi clearing out his hesitancy ;w; at this point, I curse myself for not being able to understand Korean

[captain-of-the-historicfuture]

~hello~ !! For the meta asks!: 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18, 21, 24, and 25 :))

Hello!! Thank you for sending these; I was really excited to see that ask game and I was hoping somebody would send some in. It still took me a while to actually answer them though, and for that I apologise. But without further ado! Some meta answers (under the cut because they ended up being fairly long, whoops):

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (Consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway.)

I thought of a few examples, but they could basically be grouped together under a common theme: whumpy/angsty scenes that were self-indulgent as all heck. The whole self-indulgent aspect often required the characters to be just the teeniest, tiniest bit OOC and/or necessitated rather unrealistic plot circumstances. So it was simply easier to keep such scenes as maladaptive daydreams, rather than trying to think of explanations for the character/plot issues…or exposing myself to judgement for them LOL.

Receiving permission to write/share one such scene anyway is an opportunity I can’t let slip by though. It might be because I’m writing this while running on zero (0) hours of sleep—let’s hear it for insomnia, y’all!—but I suddenly couldn’t remember any of my newer ideas under this category. However, I did recall a one-shot I had started writing a couple of months ago that sort of counts? “Sort of” because I could actually be arsed to write it since I was, ya know, writing it. Only got about six hundred words down though.

…should I share those six hundred words…?

………nahhh. I don’t think I’m quite ready for that yet.

But here’s the gist of it: Coulson and May (because of course it’s Philinda) were married for quite some time before the Attack on New York. But then Coulson DiedTM and then got ResurrectedTM. But gasp of horror, he had to lose his memories of his romantic relationship with May because reasons. (I actually did have some ideas for those reasons but sshhhh this is about me yeeting context and setup.)

The first half of S1 still happens as normal (except MayWard doesn’t happen because??? Vows) and it’s now post-E20 “Nothing Personal”. The morning after (or a morning soon after, whatever) the T.A.H.I.T.I. reveal! May’s mom—who doesn’t know about GH.325 and whom May fed a cover story about Coulson divorcing her or something equally as oof, IDK—shows up at the hotel and starts ripping into Coulson for breaking her daughter’s heart, then dragging her back into the field with her ex-husband (him), then accusing her of terrible things and forcing her away again.

Poor guy’s confused as heck, and so is the team, and soon enough so is Lian. The only one who understands what’s going on is May, and she’s freaking dying off to the side like why is this happening to me and eventually everybody’s like! Explain??? (Was thinking about including something from Coulson like, “Are you still keeping things from me?” Just for that extra smidge of angst, yay!)

So yeah then May gives a, like, two-sentence debriefing that elicits more questions than answers. Coulson decides to take May aside and they have a heart-to-heart. Lots of feelings and angst and hurt/comfort and at some point plenty of kissing too. Just! May hiding her feelings for Coulson’s sake but really magnified, plus some actual apologies and consideration of the grief May’s been through on Coulson’s part.

And uhh yeah that’s basically it I dunno hdsjncjshd. I warned y’all it’s OOC, plot-bendy, and very self-indulgent!

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

I don’t think I could name a single character for this. I get different things out of taking on different voices, you know? I guess recently I’ve found myself gravitating towards more taciturn and introspective points of view, like JQ from my original novel Rosewood or M. Yisbon from my…other original novel Temple.

Generally, however, I like tackling stories from an outsider’s perspective. That’s why I so rarely write my more “substantial” (serious? demanding? for lack of better words?) projects from the PoV of my “preferred” character. This usually means writing from their love interest’s perspective, but not always. With shorter fanfic, using a more removed/unconventional/niche PoV can be really fun. Like, I once wrote a canon compliant ficlet purely(-ish) about Philinda from Tony Stark’s perspective. That isn’t always sustainable with stories that demand more character development or closer character studies, however, which is why it’s a good thing I like writing drabbles!

9. Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?

My word counts tend to run long, but I usually only write one-shots for fanfic. If I’m even inspired with a novella- or novel-length story idea for a fandom, you already know I’m in deep with them. And if I actually find the motivation to plan and execute that idea? Dangg. That’s only ever happened…twice, maybe thrice, and I’m in a lot of fandoms.

At times, I wish I could go for more of a middle ground ’cause, like, you know what I love to see? An AO3 dashboard with several completed novellas for my ship/character of choice. I mean yes, I hecking love >90k fics, but sometimes I’m in the mood for quick reads…and what am I supposed to do when I burn through all the drabbles and 2k one-shots? (Besides despair and/or reread my faves desperately.) Novellas are basically always safe for me LOL, and I’d hope to be able to give as much as I take.

Ultimately though, I think I’m okay with where I am with regards to that. I wish I could write more in general, but I’d be okay with “writing more” just meaning “writing more one-shots”, ya know? More than okay, really. I have mad respect for fic writers who have, like, a hundred or more one-shots under their belt for this one ship. The fandom ecosystem would be incomplete without them (as well as every other type of writer, but sshhh that’s the type of writer I’m closest to being right now).

I’m definitely a plotter, and I definitely prefer it that way. It’s cool having such a detailed record of my process. I like feeling like a frazzled genius on the brink of a major discovery with all of my different outlines and colour coding and many drafts and various websites.

12. Do you want your writing to be famous?

Not exactly. It might be cool if my original works were recognisable in the world, but I don’t think I’d want to be recognisable. As for fanfic, I’d low-key enjoy gaining a place in that fandom’s community as a fic writer. Like someone who gave and got fic gifts from fic writer friends, who participated in challenges and GCs, who received writing prompts on Tumblr, whose name was known for doing a certain trope/genre a bunch of times… Ya know what I mean?

Unlikely to happen when I’m so hecking hesitant to publicly (i.e., outside of AO3) claim credit for my writing, but fjnskfsjhfjs. A writer can dream, right?

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

Of those three, tags are the easiest for me, for I have a reliable system for figuring out those.

Next easiest would probably be titles. For fanfiction, I like to use titles that are a quote from the source material. You should have seen all of my old Hamilton fanfic… I was really proud of some of those titles. And I don’t mean, like, whole lines—usually only two to five words. It’s a unique type of wordplay that I just love dabbling in.

And lastly, summaries. Sometimes inspiration strikes me and a snappy and intriguing synopsis just jumps out—one that I’m quietly pleased with—but most of the time I’ll spend way too long trying to think of such a synopsis and eventually just go with whatever I’d come up with so far. And live with my quiet dissatisfaction for the rest of time.

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (Plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations...?) Tell us about them!

Typically, no. If I have deleted scenes, I save and publish them separately, but that’s about it. I sometimes think of AUs for my own work and might talk about them in my author’s notes—might even talk about writing them—but I never really do anything with them.

Although…

It’s not uncommon for me to decide a plotline isn’t working for a certain story or to think of an interesting but undoable arc for a certain character, but what I’ll do is make a whole new story for those ideas. Once I’m done developing the original idea and the branched-off one, you probably wouldn’t be able to tell they grew from the same roots. Does that count?

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as (film, webcomic, animated series, etc.)?

That depends on the story. I’ve actually written stories in other mediums—movie screenplay, musical stageplay, poetry, TV show scripts, play scripts, roleplay—but the novel does tend to be my comfort zone. Sometimes, if I have an idea that I think could work, or would even work better, as another medium, I’ll label it as such in my folder of ideas and decide not to write it as a novel.

Most of the time, my non-book projects are collaborations. I’m working with five different people on six different story ideas: two webcomics, one stage musical, one anime, and two animated TV shows. Little concrete progress has been made in any of those, mind you, but they’re still fun to discuss!

24. Would you say your writing has changed over time?

Absolutely. But I’ve been writing stories since I was five years old, so we would hope so, huh?

I wouldn’t say my writing’s changed completely, though maybe that’s just my insider’s perspective.

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

Oh gosh, I can’t believe you’d make me choose. Writing is just such a wonderful experience for me; I love just about everything to do with it. Admittedly, not all the time, but. Since that barely qualifies as an answer, however, I’ll give you this—

The endings. Not only that intense feeling of rightness when you wrap up that last sentence, but also the moments before. The adrenaline of knowing you’re almost there but you gotta push just a bit more to actually get there. And also the part right after—the real wrap-up, honestly: the revision and the editing. Heavens, I love revising and editing my work.

Which is not to say I don’t like writing it out for the first time, too—there’s nothing quite like seeing your cursor scroll to the next page, like going from a blank expanse to a Oh man, how many more lines are even going to fit on this page?, like watching that page counter tick up another number. However, there’s something cathartic about finally ironing out those problems I had to force myself to stop worrying about earlier because “just finish the first draft dangit”.

I guess that’s not really the end of the writing process, but whatever. Close enough (as fic writers are wont to say).

Another thank-you for these asks, and feel free to come back with more at any time! ;P

Send in fun meta asks for your friendly neighbourhood writer!

[eirenare]

TROS junior novelization: “Stay here. I’ll come back for you, sweetheart. I promise” + some post-TROS era thoughts

I’ve been writing a big ass post compilating all of the “Stay here. I’ll come back for you, sweetheart. I promise” throughout the books up until TROS and analyzing them, and I wanted to wait for my TROS junior novelization to arrive to keep building it and post it but I’m just too excited because THE VOICE IS BACK so I gotta talk at least about this

Some days ago I did a post (which you can check here) talking and speculating about the TROS junior novelization and how it was upon us, and that I could’ve misunderstood the voice in the TLJ junior novelization (I talked about the voice months ago, compiling the parts where it appears in the TLJ junior novelization, here), and funnily, I HAD misunderstood it but at the same time I HADN’T

The reason? Yes, the “Stay here. I’ll come back for you, sweetheart. I promise” was a coping mechanism of Rey... but there was more to it, something I started to suspect again after reading pre-TROS some more times a certain fragment from the TLJ junior novelization where “the voice” and the phrase were mentioned

The TROS junior novelization may look like it has lots of yikes for what I saw on some pages floating around, but look at THIS (analysis below):

“The Force surrounds you, Rey. Feel the Force flowing through you, Rey. Let it lift you. We stand by you, Rey.

Rey, the Force will be with you, always.

There were so many up there—so many stars, so many voices—Rey could not keep track. But there was a light inside her that shone brighter and spoke louder than all the others.

Stay here. I’ll come back for you, sweetheart. I promise.

She looked deep into that light and saw there were two. A binary star. And though the voice that said those words was her own, the love behind them was not.”

Okay, so, first of all: *unholy pterodactyl screeching of excitement*

For what it seems, each voice in the World Between Worlds (because yes, this is the WBW, the descriptions of this scene in the TROS non-junior novelization just leaves no room for doubt: “the battle above disappeared. Instead, Rey saw a perfect sky, vast with stars. Peaceful. Light-filled. It was like she was staring through a window to somewhere else, a place between places.” [...] “More voices came at her fast but gentle, as though she lay at a confluence of the Force, possibilities, futures and pasts all stretching away from her, or maybe leading toward her. The cosmos, time, energy, being—nothing was the way she’d thought it was.” [...] “Presences filled her awareness, some recent, some ancient, some still anchored to the living in a strange way. Rey didn’t understand. But she accepted.”) corresponds with a light... and when Rey peers into a light inside of her which is brighter and louder than all the others, she hears the phrase AND sees the light is A BINARY STAR

... So, a light brighter than the rest—which is fitting with Ben’s description in the TROS non-junior novelization, where it’s said that his light is so bright it helps Rey resist Palpatine’s influence: “Rey continued to approach. His power was intoxicating. She found herself raising her weapon, almost against her will. If not for the other presence in her mind, bright and shining with light, she would not have been able to resist him."

And that light inside her, brighter than the rest, being like a binary star—which fits as well, and only with, Rey and Ben being one in the Force

And apparently the words were hers, but the love behind them was not—so, Ben’s feelings echoing through their Dyad bond (and the WBW? Through both?) across time and space because a Dyad bond (just like the Force) cares not for such boundaries

Also if I remember well (need to find the pic or get a photo myself when the novel arrives), in the TROS junior novelization, when Ben and Rey are circling each other in the hangar of the Star Destroyer (on Kijimi) they’re described like in a way that looks pretty much like a binary star reference

I’ve been basking in all of this for days, even though thinking it’s Ben basically sends me back to the heavy feels lol

I mean, these words Rey repeated to herself for 14-15 years seem to be (it only makes sense to be) echos of Ben (of hope) from the future, and that helped her survive and cope with her own pain and despair... I’m not okay your honor

And there’s just no way it can be anyone else but Ben, given all of this and the contexts. I’ve read comments saying maybe it could refer to her parents or even Luke and Leia, but... it just doesn’t fit? The light is INSIDE Rey, brighter than the rest, and it’s a binary star. It’s simply Rey and another person, and that other person can only be Ben, her soulmate

The best thing is that they actually could use this to bring Ben back to Rey if they wanted, because they didn’t go very deep into the theme of the Dyad AND when the WBW is involved ANYTHING could happen (and it’s not as if these could be the only methods to bring someone back)

To quote the TFA junior novelization: “Rey did not want the owner of the voice to come back. She wanted the speaker to stay.”

Disney/Lucasfilm have a golden opportunity now to either cast the group again for a live-action or animated series, or a movie (or movies), fixing stuff. It’s not gonna make TROS go away nor fix it all, but there’s A LOT of stuff that could end up in a WAY better place than it ended up in TROS, and I’m pretty sure if they pick up some people that know what they’re doing and the premise is good, the cast would want to be back to fix the mess

If they can’t get the cast, just... do an animated series. Or, heck, if it could be done, both would be soooo amazing? (Although I don’t think we’d end up with both, if we end up with something it’ll be one or the other I think) A movie would be ideal to fix stuff, but a series (live-action or animated) would be ideal for something that could go on for a long time with new adventures. DLF could just attract back so many fans (including the new ones, which they should know already are vital to keep a franchise alive) that they’ve pushed away with TROS

I mean, look, if even my lizard brain can come up with viable ideas on how to fix so many mistakes from TROS, DLF certainly can, and there’s people with the talent AND care to do it, so... yeah

We’re getting some WBW mentions (and things that could be hints too) after TROS, other characters have been able to come back from worse and less vague deaths, we still don’t know what a Dyad bond is fully capable of *coughs in suspicions that The High Republic might show some of this and maybe serve as a preamble to Ben’s return*, a good post-TROS fix is absolutely needed, and DLF would make an obscene amount of money if they brought Ben back and did a post-TROS mending a lot of things, so right now I’m proceeding with cauting and keeping my feet on the ground just in case, but my hopes are kinda going up

[ieatmypizzawithaforkandknife]

TMA: Episode 13, “Alone”

Summary: Naomi Herne dictates her statement regarding “the events following the funeral of my fiancé, Evan Lukas.”

Our first in-person statement! So exciting! Not as exciting as the ones towards the end of this season for sure, but it makes sense to introduce the idea prior to them being necessary, and it was a nice change of pace.

That being said, I really didn’t like the voice actor in this one. There were a few moments that felt stilted or where it felt like she was over-acting, and it bugged me. At the beginning of the series, I didn’t like how Jonathan seemed to be speaking dramatically on purpose, and my annoyance here was for similar reasons. Since I’m more or less neutral towards the character herself, I’m kind of glad this was her only episode this season, and I’m hoping she’s not in future seasons either.

Because this was recorded “live”, we finally get confirmation of how the in-universe date relates to the real-life date. Naomi gives the date as January 13th, 2016, and this episode was aired on April 20th, 2016. It’s close, which is nice, but not exact, which would have been cooler IMO, but it makes sense that they might not have known the air date when they recorded it. It doesn’t throw any huge wrenches into the timeline I have going though, which is all I care about in the end.

First off, it’s a little suspicious how quickly she goes head over heels for Evan. They meet while waiting for a job interview, and when he had to go in to the interview, she “felt a pang of loss like nothing I’d known before, all for a stranger who I’d met barely ten minutes ago”? When she was always pretty content on her own in life? On its own, I could chalk it up to an extreme loneliness that she’d underestimated or was in denial about. But she says that “he was so unlike anyone I had ever met before”, and his family was some of the creepiest people in any of these stories yet that weren’t explicitly monsters. I don’t know whether the family isn’t human or if it’s something else, but there’s definitely something not right about them, and I’m really expecting them to show up again at some point.

Naomi never gives us any real impression of Evan’s personality either. She talks about him enough at the beginning of the episode that by the end of her rambling we should have had some kind of idea of who he is, but all that we really know is that he seemed perfect for her. It’s like he’s this blank slate, and whatever she needed, he was. (For any Animorphs fans who might be reading this, her starry-eyed description of their relationship reminded me a lot of the way Peter describes the last year or so of his marriage before Eva “died” in book 10. So you can understand my concern.) Their relationship is too perfect and harmonious. It’s not real. And when she conveniently decides not to contact any of his friends after he died? The paranoid part of me wonders how real any of it was.

It is interesting that the reason he gives for his apparent schism with his family is religion - specifically, that they were religious and he wasn’t. In and of itself this is normal enough - a common occurrence, even. But I am officially suspicious any time religion (especially Christianity or Christian-coded religion) is mentioned in these statements. Naomi mentions towards the beginning of her statement something that a pastor told her about humans being “creatures of community by nature”. This same pastor told her he was “worried I’d get lost” - which, if you recall, is exactly what almost happened in that foggy field after she crashed her car. She was lost for a time, and, we’re led to believe, was almost lost forever.

She describes the mist in the field as seeming malicious, and that it made her feel “utterly forsaken”, and although she didn’t think there was any particular presence in it, it seemed to swirl around her deliberately and eventually tried to pull her into an open grave. But Jonathan says at the end that there couldn’t have been any fog where she was, “given the incredibly high winds during the storm that night.” And he couldn’t find any graveyard/chapel matching the description she gave anywhere in the area. So where was she, and how did she get there? And who or what was controlling that mist? The field, the mist, the chapel, and the graveyard are all obviously Not Quite Right, but then again neither was the Lukas family earlier that night. So when and what was her first supernatural interaction that night?

I think it’s obvious by now that I don’t like the Lukas family at all and I think they’re up to no good. But it’s worth noting that Evan apparently somehow helped Naomi out of that mist (despite being dead) by his disembodied voice telling her to turn left. It was a small thing, but without that direction she might never have gotten out. So is he really not evil like I got the impression the rest of his family is?

On a completely unrelated note...someone needs to talk to Jonathan about his bedside manner. Between his condescending tone and him telling her to her face that she should probably see a shrink, I’m only surprised that she didn’t storm out on him sooner. Whose bright idea was it to let this guy interact with the public? I love him but he is not a people person at all lol.

Fortunately, before she left, Jonathan asked her to leave the broken piece of stone from the graveyard with them - although I wonder if anyone even gave it a second glance after that, or if it was just shoved into a corner somewhere and itself forgotten. The word “FORGOTTEN” on the stone was of course supposed to be creepy to us the listeners, and is almost certainly some kind of clue in the bigger mystery, but as someone who has come to frequent cemeteries (as part of an interest in genealogy, not with any involvement in the supernatural, thank you very much), it was probably just the end of a very common phrase on headstones: “GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN.” Which is, ironically, the exact opposite in meaning to “FORGOTTEN.”

One last thing. This is either a complete coincidence, or a very big clue, and I can’t decide which. In episode 11, “Antonio Blake” first sees his father in one of his “death dreams” 10 days before his father actually dies. In that same statement, “Antonio” says that he first saw Gertrude Robinson in a “death dream” on March 12th, 2015. Evan Lukas died on March 22nd, 2015 - exactly 10 days after “Antonio” first saw Gertrude Robinson in one of those dreams. I have no idea how the deaths of Evan Lukas and Gertrude Robinson could possibly be related, but the timing is a little too perfect for me to dismiss it out of hand.

This post is part of a series where I write my thoughts about each episode and obsessively connect dots in an effort to figure out The Big Mysteries of the series. All posts in this series are tagged “is this liveblogging?” Comments and messages are welcome but I have only listened to season 1, so I ask that you not spoil me for anything beyond episode 40. In the words of Jonny Sims…thanks for listening!

[cherry3point14]

Stranger Than Fanfiction: Ch 5

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Dean x Reader   Warnings: Lusting. Tumblr Meta. Word count: 2,400.   Chapter Summary: What’s worse: reading fanfiction about two men you just met, or a narrator who wants to push you into one of their arms? A/N: lol tumblr. You guys should let me know who wants to be in this thing. I kid, I kid... OR DO I?

Ao3 if you prefer

Y/N pushed forward onto her elbows and pressed her fingers into her temples. Outwardly it might look like an attempt to relax but she was actually attempting to massage away the oncoming headache. It had been a tiresome, stressful day that had exhausted her long before Sam and Dean Winchester had arrived. Up until then, her biggest concern had been catching up on her mounting work, something that was now trivial in comparison to the monster roaming her neighborhood.

Her disorientation was not aided by the Winchesters themselves. Or Dean. He was a problem, a curse, and a mystery in one flannel-clad package. Y/N wanted to strangle him, mostly. He’d sauntered into her domain and attempted to take the lead where he hadn’t been invited. He was short-tempered and disrespectful. Yet when she considered what it might be like to wrap her fingers around his throat and finally silence him—a fantasy she wouldn’t have been prone to normally —her mind wandered of its own accord. No, she didn’t usually indulge in flights of fancy, which is why she read so extensively, that is until Dean drifted into her life. Now what would begin as a simple imaginary tirade towards the man, morphed into her nails carding through his hair while she brought her lips to his. His lips that were suddenly so fascinating…

“Erm, Y/N?” Sam interrupts you, well her, causing you to slump into your hands where you’re still leaning on your desk. You could only hope that the way you’re staring at nothing doesn’t appear quite as wistful as it feels.

Your narrator had started this absurd new direction in her story shortly after you’d accepted the men in front of you to be Sam and Dean Winchester. She’s been filling your head with these seemingly endless paragraphs about Dean. Bubbling new emotions and how you notice each of his seemingly perfect features for the first time. So, while you're trying to have a conversation with the two men, you simultaneously have to listen to her pining after Dean on your behalf. And then there's the way your body reacts to everything the voice is saying. You’re not sure if you’re lusting after Dean or if the voice is, either way, you find yourself licking your lips in anticipation or trying to suppress a shiver in your warm office.

It’s exhausting.

“Sorry, you were- I mean you’re telling me that because the first victim's murderer has an alibi, you came to check it out and linked four deaths because they all had life insurance policies?” You pause, unsure, “no offense but that doesn’t sound very, uh, weird. I mean- I have life insurance.”

Dean rolls his eyes, “of course you do, you work at a damn insurance company.”

You’d actually been asking Sam but it’s so easy to fall into the trap of arguing with Dean since it’s been happening for the last thirty minutes now. “Life insurance is very common, you know, maybe you should consider getting some.”

The problem is whenever you do decide to engage with Dean, your benevolent narrator takes the opportunity to inform you of something else attractive about him. Thus neutralizing your annoyed reaction.

She couldn’t help it. Though she fought and struggled to control herself she found herself looping through the same motions again. Warmth bloomed over her chest to accompany the spark of aggression. Her tongue fired off a response like a bullet leaving a gun. As she hit her intended target, marked by Dean’s creased brow or the clench of his jaw, she’d experience a pleasant moment of weightlessness as a small, relieved sigh would leave her body. This petty behavior would be uncharacteristic for her if this were a regular acquaintance whom she simply disliked. He was not any other offender. Dean was both her tormentor and tormented, not just because of the way his tongue peeked out over his bottom lip for a teasing second.

Sam clears his throat, again, “we found the insurance connection after we figured out what it is. The first case, the murder victim? We saw the shifter on video before they-”

You brighten up, interrupting, remembering the fact from your reading, and happy to have no internal monologue. “Oh, the eye thing? Like the shifter who pretended to be Dean in the books?”

“It wasn’t only in the books… how many times, that happened!”

Dean has been getting more and more agitated by your slow realization that everything you’d read was real. Sam, in trying to explain why they needed the information about the claim beneficiaries, has been worlds apart more understanding.

“Right, of course. Don’t worry this isn’t weird for me or anything.” You cross your arms over your chest like you can block out Dean’s negativity with the action. Or stop the flush on your skin from continuing up your neck.

Sam scrunches his face as he gets to the end of even his patience, although you’re not sure whether it’s you or Dean.

“Yeah, the um-eye thing. Anyway, we found three other unsolved cases except these weren’t as big news because no one was arrested for them. But all died the same way, all had sizable insurance policies with First National, and all the spouses practically went into hiding after the claim was paid.”

“Right. And you think Maggie Hall is a shifter who killed her own husband?”

Sam nods, “something like that.”

“Ok, ok. What can I do to help?” You’re not ok with monsters or guns, or all the crime. Although little data protection infraction seems in your wheelhouse. “Do you have the names? I could get you all the information.”

Dean barks a laugh from the chair he’s sunk into, crossing his own arms at some point.

His broad shoulders are slung low, his head bouncing against the back of the chair. She’d be forgiven for thinking that he’s a teenager asleep in class for the way he’s sitting and the lack of interest he has in talking to her. Except he’s not treating her like the dull teacher, quite the opposite. She’s offering to break the rules and so he’s treating her like a child trying to stay up past bedtime. He infuriates her as much as he makes her want to prove him wrong. She thinks she could do it too, given enough time, she could prove everything he’s said wrong and then perhaps he’d show her a modicum of respect.

You’re reminded then of your own strange circumstances. Where you’d had a comment waiting for Dean’s apathetic laugh you stop and consider for the first time if you should tell someone. Them even. Not screaming at Laura to ask if she heard it too, but honestly tell someone. If you’re committing to believing the Winchesters exist does it make sense that they would be the only people to actually believe you?

“And you’re sure that it’s a shapeshifter?” You don’t look up to see their faces, hoping it’ll make this easier.

Dean doesn’t notice the soft change in your voice at first. “ Just because you’ve read a few books and think you know a few things…”

Sam waves a hand in Dean’s face to shut him up, making you wonder where that trick has been for the last forty-five minutes. “What makes you ask that?”

You bring your eyes to theirs now, flicking between them. Both of them are wearing those intense stares, boring into you again, softer now. Something tells you that you could take twenty minutes to gather your courage and they’d still wait.

Sam is looking at you kindly and Dean, for the first time since you’ve seen him, is patient.

You know that lightning isn’t supposed to strike twice but it feels like maybe you have been hit with two realizations at once. Firstly, you couldn’t tell them. As absurd as the voice is it somehow seems too weird even for them. They are hunting an actual monster and you are struggling with possible mental illness. If they didn't cart you off to a head doctor at the very least they'd think you're crazy.

Secondly, and it pains you to prove your narrator correct, but Dean really does have a rugged yet boyish charm when he’s not scowling at you.

Not that it matters if you play along with the voice and her desires for you to fall for Dean. Because you’re going to help them find this shifter and they’ll do what the Winchesters do in every Supernatural book you’d poured over. They’ll get into their car and leave.

“It’s nothing. I’m was thinking-it’s fine. We should get going before security wonders why I’m still here.” You stand up ready to go digging through the filing cabinets. “I guess you need to look at those files now?”

It’s Thursday. A regular and normal Thursday. Nothing out of the ordinary. You hadn’t spent the night before re-reading Skin because shifters are real and there is one stalking your companies’ clients. And you’re definitely ignoring the notification icon on the Tumblr app.

Sure, before you’d met them maybe you’d read one or two, or twenty unpublished short stories written by independent writers. The books had ended and you’d had nothing new to read. You’d already known the fan-created content was out there because you’d glanced at it when you downloaded the books. It had been so easy to retrace your steps.

But knowing what you knew now, knowing that the Winchesters were real, you certainly couldn’t go around reading fanfiction anymore.

Definitely not.

Which is why it’s Thursday morning and you’re at your desk. Jittery from another late night, on edge because what if they are killing the shifter right now and curious as to where the voice has gone. Again. Adding the Tumblr notification on top of that pile was like throwing lighter fluid onto a burning building. Not really going to make things worse in the grand scheme of things, still probably frowned upon.

The notification only bothers you as much as it does because it’s something that should be manageable. Unlike everything else, you can deal with this little red badge.

“Y/N, I brought you a coffee!”

As you search for the source of the voice you see Laura coming across the office with two cups in her hands from the coffee shop down the street.

“Coffee?” You cock your head at her.

Laura makes it to your desk and sets down the brown to go cup directly on top of the paper on your desk as if trying to force you to engage with it before continuing to work. “You seemed a little tired this morning. Thought you could use a pick me up.”

It’s nice of her to have noticed. It’s even nicer that she didn’t tell you to your face this morning since you’d have been annoyed by the comment first thing. The strange thing is that she’s brought you coffee of all drinks. The cozy little coffee shop is where you lunch together when you both decide to treat yourselves and, as at home, you drink tea.

Still, it's the thought that counts. “Thanks, that’s nice of you. My treat next time.”

If she catches the confusion still lingering in your tone then she ignores it, electing to wink at you, unaware. “Don’t be silly. Anything for you.”

Today wouldn’t be the first time that Laura’s perkiness had continued throughout the day so you write off the weirdness and let her walk away. Now would be an excellent time to pick up your phone. You're going to drink the coffee in front of you out of politeness anyway, why not take a break at the same time? You pick up the cup first to signify the start of your coffee break. Unfortunately with actual coffee. Laura did at least add cream so it's slightly more palatable.

Flicking at your screen you open your emails first under the pretense of checking all your notifications at once. There aren't many since you checked at breakfast. Then your Facebook because surely someone in your life has done something horrific enough that they want to share it with you. Nothing except your cousin's pregnancy announcement, which you mom had told you about days ago. Finally, you can't avoid it, the Tumblr app calls for you and click it. The notification was for a message and it's a reply to one you sent.

It's important to note that you'd sent the message before you met Sam and Dean.

Although since this conversation has been started already there's no harm in messaging back. It would be rude not to. You'd only wanted to tell someone that you enjoyed their story, and they messaged back thanking you for your feedback. It was perfectly innocent. It's not like you were choosing to read more stories. And you weren't going out of your way to find the Dean ones.

Hey, thanks for getting back to me. I only read the books last week and I loved your story. Great characterization. Looking forward to reading some more!

It does feel like a cheap shot since the Winchesters are not characters anymore, they're people. Although it's not like they'd find out.

You click send on your reply at the same time as you take another sip of your free coffee and wince. Laura is safely back out of sight at reception now so hopefully you will get away with it without offending her.

The notification is gone. That's one less itch to scratch. Only the remaining laundry list of problems in your life to deal with now.

Starting with the email from Mark that pops up in the corner of your computer screen, asking you if you'd cleared Maggie Halls' file yet.

Continue to Chapter 6.

5eva tags: @divadinag @darthdeziewok @fluentinfiction @witch-of-letters @supernatural-teamfreewillpage @magnitude101999 @alexwinchester23   Dean babes: @thewinchesterchronicles @akshi8278​ @bloodydaydreamer StrangerThanFiction tags: @jaylarkson @starsandmidnightblue​

[easilydistractedbyfanfic]

The 100 Final Season Speculation Tag

Thank you for the tag, @bellarkes-hope​! This is fun to think about and I like reading everyone’s answers!

1. Which character are you most excited to learn the endgame of: I’m not sure if “excited” is the word - more like ANXIOUS! Ha! But, no surprise here - I’m most interested in Raven & Murphy’s endgame

2. Which character are you most excited to learn the backstory of: I definitely would love more backstory on Becca Franco, which would then lead to Cadogan & Second Dawn, all of which I’m interested in. But I also want to know what Diyoza’s been up to in the Anomaly. 

3. One character who deserves a new look: Diyoza! Let’s have her come out of the Anomaly (or when whoever goes IN) looking kind of fresh and fancy. Also, same for Indra, honestly! I love Indra’s awesome look but I would not be upset to see her updated for the last season. 

4. Two locations you want to revisit: Becca’s Lab for sure! I find everything there interesting and think there’s a lot more to explore. Also lets go back to Cadogan’s Office/The Office in the bunker - there’s some FASCINATING photos behind the desk and that seal on the wall that MIGHT be “Becca’s Crypt” still seems relevant...

5. Three brotps you hope get more screentime: I would like to see Octavia & Diyoza, Raven & Diyoza and probably Murphy & Jordan (although I was amused at Murphy & Gabriel’s interactions too)

6. Who will get the happiest ending: Oh man... this question haunts me. I don’t know if anyone is going to get to be “happy” but I really would like to see hopefulness at the end of the story. I could be satisfied if Raven & Murphy die as long as they actively choose to die together. Do I want that? Not really, but it would give them autonomy over something that happens to them and characters in this world rarely seem to get that. I would very much like for Raven to be happy but I’m not sure the writers know what that IS for her any longer. A new rando dude that she’s known for 12 days doesn’t feel like happily ever after to me, soooo....

7. Which minor or new characters you want to see more of: I don’t want new characters. Let me say that again. I DON’T WANT NEW CHARACTERS. Yes, I know we’re going to get some but I don’t want to focus on them AT ALL. Now that said - we’ve already got Russell & Diyoza and I think that the two of them going up against each other would be fantastic. Also, give me Becca always and jeez can we get some more Jordan?!

8. Who will eventually snap Jordan out of the funk we see him in, at the end of 6x13: Personally I would like this to be Murphy. I think it definitely needs to be a member(s) of Spacekru

9. Who will be the first to tell Bellamy he can’t immediately run into the Anomaly after Octavia: Well if it happens right away, then probably Echo, since that’s who he was with at the end of s6. But if they go back to Sanctum to report on what happened and how Octavia disappeared, then maybe it could be Clarke. 

10. To reference Monty’s ‘do better’ mantra: Raven would be a good choice, Echo too

11. To say 'go float yourself’: Would love this to be Jordan, LOL

12. Random object or prop you would bring back for Season 7 if you could: Ohhh... well I definitely think we’re going to see more of Becca’s Notebook, and I’m here for whatever esoteric info is in that sucker! Raven is on the case! But also - man man man I really wanna see the tattoos of this world come to MEAN SOMETHING! Lemme see more of Gaia’s Flamekeeper tattoo and how it connected to Titus and the seal in the Second Dawn bunker! Lemme see if the leaf jewel Simone wore in her hair is actually the reference to the Broadleaf clan in Grounder history that I want it to be. I want to know what all those tattoos on McCreary meant and how about Shaw too. I have THOUGHT about this stuff and I wanna know SO BAD! Also - I would NOT be mad to see the soccer ball make yet another appearance! 

13. Book One storyline/reference you want to see back for Season 7: Well it isn’t a broad storyline but I really loved the Raven part of the story where she accepted that Finn wasn’t right for her because he didn’t love her “the way I want to be loved” in 1x10. That was a tough conclusion for her to come to and I really appreciated that she was acknowledging her self worth at the same time she was choosing not to hate Finn or really even to blame him. But since then she’s had a lot of self doubt, hasn’t felt like she’s that worthy of being happy, and has struggled with her capabilities (ie guilt from not being able to get Spacekru off the Ring/being willing to die because of it). Feels like s6 brought so many of the s1 personalities back (yikes) so I’d love to see Raven get her confidence back and recognize that she’s more than worthy. Heck, this isn’t a bad storyline for all the characters, really. 

14. Dead character you would like mentioned: I’m always thrilled with a Sinclair reference, but really Harper and Monty should be mentioned along with the other delinquents who died too. Also it was rad to see Pike in s6 so heck add him in and while I’m at it lets talk about Luna and “it’s not your blood that defines you, it’s your heart”! Hello, that’s relevant with all our new nightbloods, isn’t it?!

15. How do you think Hope and Octavia know each other (from season 6): Definitely seems like Octavia helped raise Hope during her time in the Anomaly. Maybe when Octavia came back to Sanctum, could be that Hope was like 12 or something, so seeing Hope come out of the Anomaly as an adult made Octavia feel so emotional. The idea of Octavia & Diyoza as either co-parents or honestly with Diyoza as pseudo-mom to both of them pleases me. 

16. How do you think it all will end?: I’m struggling not to just post a photo of that dumpster on fire that’s going around about 2020, LOLOLOL. But I mean... I’ve been burned by other shows so I don’t have a lot of confidence here. I’m really hoping for both an ending that feels at least a bit hopeful but also is true to CHARACTER arcs through the series, not simply whatever the plot of s7 turns out to be. Call me Fox Mulder but I WANT TO BELIEVE - I want to believe that humanity isn’t just some plague across the universe. So... I’ll speculate that a group of survivors is either landing back on Earth or at least heading there at the end of the show. I think we need to fix what we break, and of course that means going back to our own planet. This would not be disappointing to me, so maybe the view of a renewed green Earth is the last shot we get, but instead of just being one or two people looking down, it’s everyone who has made it back. I dunno... FWIW I haven’t rewatched shows that have ended poorly, so I hope t100 doesn’t have me abandoning the world they created. 

(Don’t freak fellow Murven fans - I will never abandon THEM! And whatever ending we get, I’m sure I’ll have some stories in response to it!)

Tagging - literally ANYONE who wants to play! And feel free to tag me because I like reading these! @osleyakomwonkru @hopskipaway @ghostmontygreen @raveniisms @jarleene @beesreadbooks @mobi-on-a-mission @arkadiaschancellor @the100-theories @kinetic-elaboration @awesomenell65 @star-sky-earth @tracylorde @johnmurphysass @mamabearsdontthink

[damonsbitchx]

Florida Burn p.3

Hello, friends! Sorry this took so long to get done, the pandemic sort of fucked my life up lol But we are back now and better than ever!

Summary: This is a series I’m writing based on New Moon, but instead of staying in Forks, Bella moves to Jacksonville with her mom. If you haven’t read the first two parts you can read them here and here.

Word Count: 2,496

Characters: Bella, Renee, Phil, Jacob (through text)

Warnings: There’s a little angst but mostly good vibes.

If you would like to be on a general or story tag list, please send me an ask!

    Dinner with Renee and Phil wasn’t awkward. It was actually easier than I’d expected. Phil asked me questions about my life back in Forks about how I liked the school, what kind of things I did for fun since it was always raining, and a few others to gather the information he seemed genuinely interested in getting. Renee asked me about Charlie and a bunch of other people from Forks she probably knew at some point. She wondered about the infamous little orange truck I always talked to her about on the phone, so I got to explain in detail everything I loved about it. It made me miss her a little bit. She also asked about the Blacks.

“How’s Billy and his son? It’s been years since I’ve seen them,” she beamed, popping a french fry into her mouth. 

“Yeah, uhm Billy’s good, he’s still rowdy as ever when he’s around dad,” I huffed a short chuckle.

    Thinking about Forks and all the people there did make my chest ache, but I’d probably only have to do this once and they’d be satisfied after that. I was just grateful she knew enough to not ask about the Cullens. I was getting better, but not that much better yet. Renee cleared her throat.

“And Jacob?” she grinned innocently.

“Uh yeah Jacob’s good too,” I mumbled, nibbling on a fry. 

“Your dad told me Jacob left you his number, he asked me to make sure you got in touch with him at least,” she purred, obviously ecstatic about the situation. I cringed internally but looked up to her with a smile.

“I’m going to mom, after dinner,” I grumbled, trying to sound reassuring.

“Okay,” she sighed with a sly smile, exchanging a glance with Phil who was mouthing at her to stop. 

    She giggled and we finished our dinner in a comfortable conversation after that. I helped clear the table once we were all done and tried to do the dishes but Phil insisted I not worry about it. They seemed to cherish small moments together often like cooking and doing the dishes by hand. I’d never seen Renee do the dishes before, but Phil brought out the best in her. Granted, she only dried them, but at least it was something. 

    I stood in the doorway of the kitchen lost in thought and admiration for a moment watching my mom and her boyfriend laugh and fumble over wet utensils. Then, suddenly, I remembered the folded piece of Forks still sitting in my back pocket. Before I left I gave them one last look and smiled in admiration, then I turned and quickly made my way back up to my room which was now filled with the deep bronze rays of my first Jacksonville sunset. I sunk into the desk chair next to the large window and pulled out my phone along with the note, flattening it out onto the surface of the desk. I didn’t think I would go down this road so soon after arriving in Florida, but I knew Renee wouldn’t let it go until she got details. Besides, it would be good to catch up with an old friend. I hastily punched the numbers into the address bar but then realized that I hadn’t given a single thought to what I was going to say. I frowned at the phone screen, slumping down further. I mean, I only talked to him a couple of times while I lived in Forks. Sure, we’d known each other since we were kids, but that was a long time ago and we were different people now. After some moments of consideration, I decided I should at least tell him who it is and leave the beginning of a conversation to him.

“Hey, it’s Bella. :)” I typed. 

    Then, I frowned and stared at the words on the screen for another minute. I squinted my eyes and grimaced. Who am I turning into? I quickly deleted the smiley face and pressed send before I could think about it anymore. With a heavy sigh, I flung my phone onto my bed across the room and yanked a book into my hands. I needed to distract myself, this was getting ridiculous. My knees pulled up to my chest and I dove into something Shakespeare, not caring enough to acknowledge which one. It took great effort to focus on the words my eyes would usually scan mindlessly but it became increasingly harder with each ticking second. Occasionally, I’d catch my gaze drifting to my phone sitting in the middle of my bed but I would quickly drag it back to the dull pages that did nothing to hold my attention. Then, my phone buzzed causing my heart to leap, pulling me up out of the chair and across the room so fast my book clattered to the ground. I launched onto the bed, grabbing the phone and yanking it open. It was him. My hands were shaking now, but not in the way they had been for months on end. They were shaking with anticipation and adrenaline. The blood pumping through my veins was laced with a type of electricity I hadn’t felt in months. 

“Bella, hey! I’m glad you texted, I thought maybe you didn’t get the note. :)”

    I released the air locked in my lungs with a sigh of relief. Smiley faces are encouraged. Then, panic struck again. What do I say now? I really hoped this would get easier, but for now, I would spend minutes upon minutes staring at my phone trying to come up with acceptable responses. I was absolutely not going to involve Renee in this endeavor, she would definitely take it the wrong way. Jacob and I were only ever going to be friends. I just wasn’t sure how to go about becoming friends again. In order to waste more time, I decided to take care to add him in my phone as a contact, pressing each letter of his name slow enough to make sure the characters were arranged in the absolute right order. The phone vibrated again, startling me enough that it almost slipped out of my hands. My wide eyes squinted to read the text.

“How’s Florida so far?”

The answer to that seemed easy enough.

“It’s only been one day, but I know I’ll like it here. Forks is great and all, but it could use some more sun.”

I rolled my eyes and scoffed at my word vomit but pressed send anyway.

“Lol yeah, I guess so. When are you coming back?

    I began to wonder how much Jake knew about me moving back with my mom. How much did I really want him to know? This could be my chance to start over with someone who doesn’t look at me like I might shatter to pieces any second. That always made it harder not to. I’m sure he knew the Cullens left, but maybe that was all.

“I don’t know, probably not until after graduation.”

“That’s too bad, I just got a project I was going to ask you to help me with. :(“

I felt the weight of my anxiety lifting off my chest with each message. The conversation came easier than I’d thought it would.

“Oh, I’m sure I wouldn’t be much help anyway. Maybe you can come visit me in Jacksonville sometime. :)”

“Hah yeah, maybe. How come you left anyway?”

So, he must not know much about the Cullens’ part in my leaving which was better for me but then again, what was I going to tell him instead?

“It’s complicated, but I mostly just missed my mom and the sun. I am my mother’s daughter, after all. :/” 

    Everyone in that town knew what happened with Renee and Charlie, even ones who were born after the fact. So, Jacob knew and I used it to my advantage. He couldn’t really argue with it and to be honest, part of me really did feel the same way she does about that town.

“Lol yeah, I get that. Well, I should turn in. Will you text me tomorrow?”

“Definitely. :)”

“Cool, goodnight, Bella. :)”

“Night, Jake.”

    As I clicked the phone off I caught myself smiling but it wasn’t forced like most of them had been lately. It was the kind of smile you see on someone’s face after showing them something undeniably beautiful, the smile of hope and light. Those are two things I’ve been a stranger to for what felt like forever. So I let it sit on my face for as long as it wanted, sighing heavily and tossing my phone to the side as I flopped down on my bed. I rested my head on the mountain of pillows, turned so I could see out my window down to the street outside. All the cream colored houses that lined the sidewalk across the street were settling in for a peaceful night. I was still smiling. The light was just a dim glow behind the horizon now, fading with each passing minute. I breathed in slowly and deeply through my nose, cherishing the scent left in the air from the sun that had been shining on the pavement and the plants all day. The air wafting through the window was comfortingly thin and refreshing compared to the thick, damp air I remember breathing from my bedroom in Forks. I felt light and weightless. I’d barely thought about them during the several hours I’d been here and that’s several hours longer than I could manage at Forks. Maybe this really was going to be good for me.

    I laid still, focusing on deep breathing while I watched the sun take her last breath of air before she disappeared completely and darkness fully set in. Renee and Phil peeked in to say goodnight on their way to bed and with that, I was alone in the darkness in this unfamiliar but comfortable room. I hopped up and trotted to my bag before too many thoughts could crawl into my mind, grabbing my nightclothes and toiletries and crossed the hall to the bathroom. 

    I set my clothes and bag down on the counter then a reflection in the mirror caught my attention. My throat tightened in horror but only for a brief second because when I looked up I realized it was me. My shoulders relaxed back down and the tension faded away again, but I still stared at the person I saw looking back at me in the mirror. Although she was me I couldn’t help but feel she wasn’t really me. Already, she carried herself differently than I remembered. Her eyes didn’t look so worn and dark, the circles under them from the past abuse they endured were still there but seemed to be fading already. Her hands weren’t shaking with anxiety like they always did and her back wasn’t as hunched over like it used to be, desperately trying to protect her heart from any more damage. She didn’t look like she was on the brink of death anymore. The realization silently signaled tears to the edges of my eyes, that dark hole coming to swallow me just like it had done so many times before, but perhaps for a different reason this time. 

    I’d only been in Florida for a single day, how was I already this different? My chest tightened at the thoughts that plagued my mind. I couldn’t already be moving on, I wasn’t ready. If I moved on he would be gone forever and that was the last thing I wanted. The mere thought of him disappearing forever elicited a strangled gasp from my body as the stinging tears erupted from my eyes. I stumbled over to the shower, one hand clasped over my mouth to muffle the sound, the other flailing to find the shower knob and yanking it to turn the water on. I sunk down to the ground next to the tub, my hand still pressed firmly over my mouth. My lungs burned at the lack of air as I tried to keep the sobs from escaping my chest by just pushing the air out instead of the sound. The last thing I wanted was for Phil and Renee to worry about me. I thought moving was going to fix this hole inside of me. Maybe I was wrong. 

    My attention was yanked out of my own mind when I realized there was a soft tapping on the door. I quickly wiped the tears on my cheeks with my wrist and shoved myself up to unlock the door. The yellow bathroom light illuminated the hallway and the shadow standing at the door as I opened it. It was Renee. Her head hung slightly like a toddler who’d just done something minor they weren’t sure if they should’ve done or not so they were waiting to find out if they’d be in trouble. I stepped to the side so she could tiptoe in, closing the door behind her. Then, I lowered myself back to the ground again, hugging my knees to my chest. I refused to make much eye contact with her, even after she had sunk down to ground level with me. I had always had issues with emotional moments with both my parents, but for completely different reasons.

“I’m sorry, honey,” she spoke softly.

    My gaze was trained on the floor tiles just in front of my feet, the rest of me was frozen. I managed to nod in acknowledgement but I couldn’t bear to look up and see the empathy on her face like she knew what I was going through. I knew she only meant the best but she’s never really been the emotional supporting mother she wanted to be. I didn’t hold it against her, I learned how to deal with things on my own. She draped her arm around my shoulders, squeezing me into a reassuring side hug. “Do you wanna talk about it?” she whispered.

“There’s nothing to talk about, mom.” 

“Bella, it’s been months, you have to talk about it sometime.”

“Mom, really, I’m fine. I miss dad, it’ll take a while to get used to it here. That’s all.”

She sighed heavily, obviously trying to suppress a frown. 

“I’m here whenever you’re ready to talk, Honey,” she whispered. 

    Then, she pulled me in to kiss the side of my head and hoisted herself up and out the door again. After the door clicked I drifted into my clouded mind, going through the motions of muscle memory to take my shower and get dressed. I didn’t have any clear, coherent thoughts, I just kind of floated around in the emptiness. For once I wasn’t happy nor sad, I was just existing. Something about Renee offering her support settled some fire in me that I didn’t know was burning. She would be there when I was ready to end this, so I had until then.

General Tag List:  @xmysec0ndself

FB Tag List: @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce, @lesbian-ravioli, @propagandaprincess

[wetookanoath]

Nini’s birthday plan 2019 to be annoyingly postive ~

So, it’s that time of the year again. 

My birthday is coming soon on November 18th, and like every year, I thought of making a wish list. But, this year I decided to actually make a little activity. 

I love my birthday, and I want to share it with all of you because this place has been a great source of positiveness lately and, even after the worst parts of it, I’ve been blessed with your support.

That said,

~ ACITIVITIES

I’ve decided that, starting November 10th, there are a few things I would love to do and they include your participation. From the 10th to the 18th, we are going to be positive as fuck, let’s annoy haters.

November 10th: Fanartists appreciation day. Like last year, I’ll make a post appreciating my favorite artists in the shyan fandom, I’ll be also reblogging my favorite works from them even If I have reblogged them before. I would totally love to see if other people make their own appreciation posts as well, don’t doubt on sending them my way to reblog them or tag me in them.

I’m doing only shyan artists because there aren’t many and to avoid unpleasant encounters with other sides of the fandom. I want peace, I’m not fighting anyone on my birthday month!

November 11th: Follow Forever. I know this is something most people do on New Year’s or whatnot, but I already have other plans for December so I’ll be doing this now. It’s a little post appreciating my favorite blogs that include mutuals, writers, gif and graphic makers, etc. All people I follow and that I love seeing on my dash.

On this day, you can totally rec to me and others your favorite blogs. Can be off or on anon, I’ll post the messages and we can check out blogs together. 

You can include in your ask with your recs postive messages directed to said blogs, I will @ them and we can have an appreciation day for everyone.

November 12th: Favorite fanfiction. I’ll be doing a rec list of my top 50 favorite shyan fanfics in the fandom and a smaller list for my favorite buzzships fanfics in the fandom. 

I would love it if you guys could recommend me your favorite shyan fanfics on that day. Can be off or on anon, I may read the ones that take my attention, but I will certainly rec them all at the Library in one single list that will be posted on the 13th. 

If you want to also make your own list, please do. Tag the Library and/or this blog, I will reblog them for sure in the Library!

I will also be commenting on said fanfics I will put on those recs, even if I had commented them before. This is just to remind the authors how much I love their work and why. I encourague you guys to do the same!

November 13th: Rec your fave something to someone. Which means, send me and other people you like, off or on anon, recs for music, tv shows, blogs, fics, movies, books, FANDOMS IF YOU WANT, and talk about why you love it. I sure as hell want to hear it.

By the end of the day or on November 14th, I’ll do a post with all recs by category. Meaning, music list, tv shows list, etc.

I’ll also rec my favorite things, too!

November 14th: Apreciate your own work day. That. We are gonna go as hard as we go for our faves and appreciate our own work, doesn’t matter what kind of work is.

On November 3th, I’m going to post a poll where you can vote for your favorite fanfics written by me. On this day, I’ll post the results and talk about each fic. This was my original plan to celebrate my birthday, but I decided I really prefer if I can give something to people instead of just having one benefit for me.

Though, it’s my birthday and a little ego bust never hurt anyone. On this day, I will start posting a series of edits made by me based on the top5 fics you guys chose.

I’ll be self-reblogging my fics, some edits and my favorite headcanons/aus I have made for the fandom on this day. I invite you guys to do the same.

Rec your own fics, art, headcanons, blog, do it!

Make edits and art for your fics, post them that day. If you don’t have fics or what, make art or edits that you want to see, do it for yourself and other will love it, too.

Don’t be afraid to say “I fucking nailed this one”, be proud of your creations and how you have gotten better with time. Appreciate your work!

November 15th: Pet Day! Which means, show me your cute pets. You can submit your pics, make your own post and tag me, or just send me an ask talking about your pets. I’ll be making a post showing mine!

We can also appreciate the boys’, the crew’s and other buzzfeeder’s pets!

Make headcanons, art, fics, whatever about your fave buzzfeeder’s pets!

November 16th: Favorite Author appreciation. We all have one and like with the fanartist appreciation day, I’ll be doing a post to appreciate all my favorite authors on tumblr and another one for all my favorite authors only on AO3 (or that I know only on AO3 lol).

I’ll be making a rec list with one or two favorite fics for each author on my appreciation post, will be posted at the Library.

If you make a similar post, make sure to send the link my way or tag me and/or the Library so I can reblog it!

Same if you make rec lists with your fave author’s fics.

November 17th: Shyan Positivity Day. On this day, we are gonna fill our tags (shyan, skeptic believer, shyan fic, shyan art and even buzzfeed unclean) with shyan things. Can be headcanons, metafiction, edits, art, fics, drabbles, memes, funny text posts, appreciation posts, anything related to shyan in a positive way (although, angst is also accepted).

Send to me or your favorite shipper your headcanons, au ideas, little observations or fic recs.

Or make your own posts about these things and have fun with the interactions!

Post your edits, videos, art, fics, whatever as long as it’s shyan and you love it.

REMEMBER TO NOT USE THE GENERAL TAGS! For real, I don’t want to fight anyone on this day.

And a second reminder that if you are going to send me n/s/f/w stuff, send it at @bigdickmadej! I promise to have anon on for that day.

November 18th: It’s my birthday! I may not be much around that day, so for the final day of this little positive thing, I’m going to leave it to you guys to go on and please be the most loving you can be.

Go have a nice day, do whatever you want.

Maybe comment on that fic you’ve been reading or that one you liked the other day.

Check out your favorite fic again, comment it even if you have done it before, remind that author that you love their work and why you do it.

Send nice anons! Or nice messages off anon!

Buy a coffee for your favorite artist, author, etc. Maybe donate to your charity of preference. 

If maybe you want to do something for me, keep reading the next part for my little wish list for this year!

~ WISH LIST

It would mean the world to me if you guys really would like to participate in this little project. Even if just for one day, doesn’t matter which one, It really would mean so much to me.

I love getting messages on my birthday! And that’s really a great gift to me, so off or on anon, you can totally send me your birthday wishes and make me the happiest person alive.

Not gonna lie, I would cry if I get comments on my fics, kudos and whatnot.

And of course, I’m a big slut for blessed gifts such as fanfics, edits, headcanons, art. Especially if made based on my fanfics when it comes to edits and art.

Because of the laptop situation, I’m considering setting up a ko-fi and then close it or retire it from my blog once I get shit sorted and fix my laptop or even get the chance to buy a new one. It’s not much what I need to get to the amount I need, this is why I’m considering getting it. I really don’t like asking for money, but sadly my economy is on the ground at the moment and I really need that laptop thingy. Still, I’m honestly just considering it.

~ REMINDERS

You don’t have to participate.

If you do, please don’t use the general tags when posting and/or talking about shippy stuff.

Use the hashtag #shyanpositiveparty for all your posts regarding the project! Why this tag? Because while it was inspired by my birthday, I would love for everyone to feel included. Put this tag on the first five tags of your post so the post will appear on it and we can all see it.

If posting stuff made especifically for my birthday, then please use the tag #nini’s bday 2k19 :)

Again, you DON’T have to participate.

I’m very aware that some people have no chill and may want to spoil the party by either sending me hate or other people, even inviding the tags. I recommend to everyone to not let them win. I will be blocking and blocking only, I don’t want to fight anyone on this day and I will not post anything negative regarding it.

I’m also prepared for the scenario in which no one may actually be interested on this. I will still post on these days what I have planned. Even if no one wants to do this, I still would love for the people I’ll be sending positive vibes to get them. It’s my birthday after all. I want it to be a happy one.

I still don’t know when my birthday party in real life may be, so that day I may not have much time to be around, but I will still programm my posts on that day and answer stuff on mobile. If I don’t, I’ll do it the next day, no problem at all.

If you missed a day and wanted to participate on it anyway, it doesn’t matter. Do it, please. Have fun with us.

~ POLLS

Last thing. I would love for your guys to help me decide a few things regarding this:

What is your favorite fanfiction by me (poetdameron)?

Should I set up a ko-fi?

That’s all. I’m sorry I made you guys read so much, but I really hope you want to participate! You can reblog this post so others can see it, that would be amazing. Thank you!

[pantherlover]

Rosemary and Rue Re-Read: Part 1

I decided that I wanted to do kind of a deep-dive re-read of the October Daye books, to see if I could catch any clues I missed during my first read, and to see if I could come up with any theories about where the story is going to go.  PLEASE come and discuss things with me if you’re at all interested!  Or remind me of something I’ve forgotten!  I have a feeling I won’t make it as far as I’d like if I don’t have proper motivation lol.

Note: While I haven’t read a lot of the books in a while, particularly the first two, I have read all of them up to Night and Silence at some point and I will be referring to things that happen in later books as I go along.  These will not be spoiler free recaps.

Prologue/Chapter 1

Prologue

This phone call between Cliff and Toby in the opening scene is basically the only time that I like Cliff in the entire series - it’s genuinely sweet, and I really love Toby’s goodbye (although it does feel like she was tempting fate a little bit).  I think it does a good job of showing what Toby’s lost when she gets back and realizes that not only did he not wait for her, he’s basically turned her daughter against her too.

(That might be a little harsh, but I am seriously Not A Fan of Cliff.  I will totally own up to the fact that a lot of that dislike is Toby bias, but I judge his handling of the situation a little.  I know Toby disappearing and him being forced to raise Gilly by himself is a really difficult situation, and I don’t blame him at all for moving on (and not just because I like Tybalt better).  14 years is a long time to hold on to someone that’s probably never going to come back, and I think it’s completely reasonable that he decided that he didn’t want to raise Gilly by himself.

... That decision absolutely did not have to involve letting Gilly think that Toby abandoned them and didn’t love her.  Cliff can say that he made the choice to let Gilly think that for her sake all he wants, I flat out do not believe that Gilly thinking that her mother abandoned her, and letting some other woman replace her was better for Gilly.  I also don’t really think that he believed that Toby had abandoned them; he loved her, enough that they were raising a child together, and yet he didn’t know her well enough to know that she’d never run away from her responsibilities?  Bullshit.  I think it’s a lot more likely that thinking she’d left on her own was easier for him to let himself believe, because it’s a lot easier to move on from a woman who’d abandoned him to raise a child on his own than to move on from a woman who had possibly been killed while working a potentially dangerous job)

I really like the marsh water charms!  I was kind of sad that they fell by the wayside when Toby’s powers got stronger, but maybe they’ll be used more often since they were brought up again in Night and Silence.

I forgot how much Toby struggled with using magic in the beginning of the series.  It’s super infuriating to realize that that was a deliberate choice on Amandine’s part - not just trying to turn Toby human, but to not teach her how to use her own magic to protect herself.  It’s especially infuriating because we know that she taught August about her own heritage.

“I go out, I find out what’s going on, and I let the knights who earned their titles in battle take over.  I’m not stupid; I don’t engage.”  This line, and the line coming up where Toby says she “doesn’t have a death wish” get funnier the longer the series goes on.  I want to know exactly how much Seanan McGuire cackled when she wrote that line.

Toby demonstrates her STELLAR detective skills by narrating how Very Suspicious Simon’s current living arrangements are, and then... failing to consider that he might be setting up a trap.  How on earth did Toby ever become a private detective when she is the LEAST curious person ever. (I’m still waiting for her to go back to the Library to research bloodlines; that way, she might actually notice the next time a Firstborn randomly shows up in her orbit instead of being surprised by it)

It does seem very suspicious, rereading this book, how... human, Simon’s set up is?  Toby notes that he’s paying cash at his rental; that doesn’t really seem like something that someone from the Summerlands would’ve picked up on, as opposed to someone who’s used to operating in the mortal realm.  It definitely feels like Simon deliberately set this up so that Toby would notice, and no one else.

Now we meet Oleander de Merelands.  Given how much Evening hates mixing bloodlines, she employs a surprising amount of people with mixed blood.  (Also, Toby says that Oleander is half Tuatha, half Peri.  We’ve met Tuatha before, but I don’t think we’ve met any Peri yet.  Something to look forward to?)

And here’s where Toby gets turned into a fish, thus beginning her Trials and Tribulations.  I don’t remember a lot of the plot of The Winter Long, but I do remember that Simon insists that turning Toby into a fish was the merciful option.  I think it’s interesting that Simon’s ‘mercy’ results in the exact same situation that led him down this path in the first place - losing her fiance and child.  Especially because he deliberately puts Sylvester through this too, so his malicious actions and his merciful actions end with the same results.  (Simon, why are you so terrible at everything)

I also think it’s fascinating to compare how all three of them handle the situation - Sylvester completely falls apart until he gets his wife and daughter back (and even when they do come back, their relationship is fractured to the point where Rayseline tried to murder her own mother, and might never be repaired), which nearly costs him his other daughter.  Simon tries so hard to find his daughter - despite it being her own choice to be lost - which ends not only with both of them still out of his reach, but with Simon losing himself, first metaphorically and then literally.  Toby, on the other hand, accepts that her family is lost to her (or at least tries to accept that) and is able to move on and build a new family for herself.

So, I have a question: We know from The Brightest Fell that the reason that Luna and Rayseline were kidnapped was because Evening wanted Toby gone, so Simon used them to draw Toby out.  Was it ever explained what Toby did to make Evening want her gone at this point in time?  I don’t think it was Toby finding the knowe - I believe it’s been several years since the knowe was found, and while Evening’s clearly capable of long term plans, I think she’d be impatient to get rid of a threat she’d consider ‘beneath’ her.  Does anyone have any ideas, or remember from a later book?

Chapter 1

I think the woman with ‘oily black curls’ buying ice cream and diet coke is the first appearance of the Luidaeg.  If it is, then she’s the first in a long line of ‘seemingly inconsequential, unnamed characters who appear in the background and then turn out to be VITALLY IMPORTANT later in the story.’  I’m going to try to keep track of these moments; we’ll see how well I do.

Mitch!  I LOVE Mitch and Stacy; I really hope that they can have bigger roles in an upcoming book.  Maybe they can help Toby when she tries to rebuild Home?

I don’t normally reread the first two books, and this scene with Toby at her job is reminding me why.  She is crushingly lonely, and she feels like she deserves to be, because she feels like she failed everyone - failed Raysel and Luna by not finding them, failed Sylvester by not being there, failed Cliff and Gilly by abandoning them - while completely ignoring how they failed her too, by not looking for her.

I think this introduction scene with Tybalt is the one time in the entire series where I actually believe Toby when she says he doesn’t like her.  This is definitely the most outright assholish he ever is with her, and there’s no real underlying affection to combat his dickishness.  I really wanted to punch him in the face during this scene the first time I read the book.

I really like the description of how Toby literally grabs shadows to use in her illusions.  I don’t think I’ve ever heard magic described like that in any other series; it’s very creative.

That’s the first two chapters!  WOW I had no idea this was going to get this long.  Again, please please PLEASE come talk to me about these books!  I have been dying to find people to discuss these books with for ages.

[volepaw]

this is probably a long time ago but i just saw it on my dashboard and if you don’t want to respond that’s fine! I feel so dumb but I really just want to know and I can’t seem to find any ‘explanation’ yet but why what’s thing about the Tribe that makes it racist? Sorry for bothering! (If i’m just being dumb and there is already someone who answered this please let me know)

long post. sorry mobile people

Hey, anon. Sorry this took me a while, my computer died a few months ago and I’ve been using other peoples’ since. Plus I’m just tired of answering questions irt racism but I wanted to actually give you a good answer lol

In universe, frankly, the first issue is the differences from clan cats.

Usually, I’d actually like having groups with different cultures and the like in warriors! I like comparing cultures and seeing differences and effects when it’s handled properly. The problem is how the differences put them at a disadvantage against the clan cats as a whole or show them as strange, primitive, or as something similar to the Noble Savage trope.“The Healer also almost never leaves the cave, because unlike leaders they do not have nine lives and it’s easier for them to be killed.” (x) The fact that the Healer/Teller of Pointed Stones/Stoneteller doesn’t receive nine lives, while indicative of a different culture from the clan cats, clearly places the clans as a more ‘valid’ and legitimate group. This is heightened further when you consider the entire prophecy that they receive during the new prophecy arc.“However, the Tribe has their own prophecy to fulfill: they see Stormfur as their only hope, the silver cat mentioned by the Tribe of Endless Hunting, their spiritual ancestors.“ (x)”A silver cat will come, and rid the Tribe of Rushing Water of the dangerous mountain cat Sharptooth.”(x)While it some will likely argue that this is an unfair comparison considering that they are cats, this harkens back to the White Savior trope/Mighty Whitey trope. Despite the setting becoming more of a fantasy place as production continued, the clans were originally intended to be set in England, specifically in New Forest. (x) Arguably, the original clans can be considered relatively ‘aracial,’ ignoring metaphors such as half-clan kits and the like.This, juxtapositioned with the heavily coded nature of the tribe, creates some unfortunate situations when actually examined. The tribe, with practices including darkening their pelts with mud in order to hide themselves (something that makes me personally uncomfortable) and being able to hunt eagles, harkens back to the Noble Savage trope, with a group doing things that the ‘aracial’ main cast find strange and thrilling to learn and take back with them. Effectively, they use another culture as a backdrop for their own growth and for Stormfur’s story and emotional arc.Stormfur being accused of being the cat of prophecy and Feathertail’s death are just another drop in the bucket of stories of outsiders coming to save indigenous and otherwise non-white groups from problems they can’t solve themselves. There is no reason, truthfully, that a tribe cat couldn’t have dealt with the cougar themselves, given that it took no great skill for Feathertail to kill it. Merely sacrifice. Multiple times over the course of the series, the tribe needs the clan cats to save them from outside threats and every time it feels unnecessary and, frankly, insulting as a Native American myself. A group of cats shown to be able to hunt eagles being unable to figure out a way to drive rogues from their lands is strange, in my eyes, and upsetting at the same time.The argument of subversion could be valid in Stormfur’s case (as he messed it up originally and wasn’t the savior himself at all) if they didn’t go as heavily in the direction of Feathertail being the savior instead. Chosen by the tribe’s ancestors, she even hears voices of the ancestors prior to her death. Feathertail is buried by the tribe with the highest of honors. (x) While in character it’s great for her to have been honored so highly, the fact that the tribe cats had to rely on clan cats to save them is insulting at best.While he wasn’t the actual savior himself, everything with Stormfur and Brook, honestly, is uncomfortable to read when considering the implications of what’s going on. Brook reads like a Chief’s Daughter with four paws. “The Chief’s daughter […] is often the first to befriend Mighty Whitey during his visit to the strange new land. She’ll conveniently be beautiful by Western standards, but with just enough racial traits to be exotic.” (x)“She is the first cat to realize that Stormfur is the cat from the prophecy, and confronts him. Although scolded by Crag Where Eagles Nest, she welcomes the cats if they are not there maliciously.” “This disappoints Stormfur a little bit, since he likes the she-cat’s courage and friendliness. Brook shows up just as the Clan cats are getting ready to sleep for the night. She was sent by Stoneteller to make sure that the cats were comfortable, but Stormfur wonders if it was just him that she was sent to help.” (x)While this seems fine at first, if you just consider it a normal romance, it becomes more uncomfortable to think about. “More often than not, she will fall in love accidentally with the White Man who likes her as well and wants to marry her. Often this can be seen as a litmus test to see whether the white man is worthy of being part of their tribe.” (x)“Rock says that Brook had begun to love Stormfur while she was teaching him the ways of the Tribe. Although cats like her brother, Talon, didn’t care for Stormfur at first, they soon changed their mind because of the love Brook had for Stormfur.” (x)This trope, of a white man coming in and a Native American girl falling for him has been done over and over again, with one of the biggest examples being to Pocahontas. Even looking at the plot for both of these movies, similarities become clear. A young Native American woman, related to either the chief or the future chief, falls for a foreign man while teaching him the ways of her people. Following the conflict, she ends up traveling far from her home to stay in a culture foreign to her, learning their ways. In Pocahontas, there are two different men she falls for. In warriors, Brook leaves the tribe to stay with Stormfur, having become his mate after he elected to stay. Deciding to stay in the tribe, by the way, is almost the epitome of the Going Native trope.“The Going Native trope plays to this fantasy by having a character lifted out of his typical environment and thrust into a new one, only to become a part of that new world. […] As soon as they feel quite comfortable, possibly having fallen in love with a local girl and/or learned big lessons from a mentor figure, count on their old life to come messing with them.“ (x)“As the Clans leave once they have had enough food to eat, Stormfur decides to stay with Brook and the Tribe. Stormfur chooses to stay with the Tribe, with Brook and Feathertail’s spirit. The Clans thank the Tribe and leave.“ (x)The theme of clan cats being more connected to the tribe than the tribe themselves continues with Jayfeather, with him going back to the past using his power as Jay’s Wing. Jay’s Wing urges the group that would become the Tribe of Rushing Water to go to the territory that they’re shown in modernly. (x)The tribe is allowed nothing for themselves. Not history nor their own heroes or successes in the books. Their naming traditions, which are cringeworthy and borderline racist in the books themselves both for normal cats in the tribe and the practice of completely changing the Healer’s name, are mocked by Rock“Rock notes that he finds this method strange, as he perceives that this way of naming kits would cause many kits to be named things like ‘Wall of Cave,’ or ‘Floor of Cave.’” (x) and their first Stoneteller was involved heavily with Starclan (Which, along with the things do with Jay’s Wing, are remarkably similar to the Magical Native American trope in its bare bones), despite the fact that Healers aren’t given the same nine lives as the clan cats. While much of this is likely due to bad writing, it doesn’t excuse the implications that come with what they’ve written. It’s poor writing and an absolute shitshow of racism, with trope after trope being just stacked on top of each other in hopes of making a good story. It doesn’t work and it just shows a lack of care and respect for cultures other than their own. Don’t come onto my post and whine about it being celtic or some shit.

[ais-n]

1 | more like apologise for how harmful it was? how the mlm relationships were so clearly hetero? the sex scenes were so straight to me tbh. and i say this as someone who has read the books twice. first time i didn't see what i saw the second time. i think you genuinely wanted to have people of colour representation but it's very racist to me how hsin and emilio were done. constantly called "exotic" which is a thing americans like to use so much when it's not their ethnicity.

Hi! Thanks for the detailed explanation, I appreciate it! At first I had such HIGH HOPES I could reply to all three of your asks in one place but it turns out I talked too much (go figure lol) So I’m going to do then one at a time. I did want to start out replying to one offhand comment in the 3rd ask and then I’ll get into the rest. Below is what I had written before I realized I need to split it into three and then edited out saying I’m answering all at once. For anyone who hasn’t seen all three asks yet, that’s why part of what I’m talking about isn’t represented above - anon, hopefully it makes more sense to you since you know the future right now from what you had written in the past. ....wow, I made that confusing.

++++++

Thank you for the explanation! I appreciate you too! Also you made me laugh out loud at the gay comment, so thank you for that XD You are not making me feel worse; I appreciate the courage you no doubt had to pull together to post this :) I could be wrong but if I imagine myself in your place, I imagine feeling a little scared or intimidated to post and yet feeling it is necessary. I think it’s really cool you were able to post this in such a thoughtful explanation. Thank you!

In order to not overwhelm anyone’s inbox - and to make it easier for you - I put these all together in one ask. [[[EDIT: JUST KIDDING I talk too much - this is answering stuff from each ask at a time, sorry. I put it behind a cut to make it less long on people’s dashboards.]]] 

Still, I imagine with so much I want to talk about at once, I will probably miss things so let me know if I miss something you really wanted to talk about or you wanted follow up on something in particular.

Anyway READ MORE BELOW for a probably stupidly long reply lol Just, knowing me at least….

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Hi welcome to the below deck party! I don’t know why I said it that way. That was creepy sorry lol Anyway I’m breaking this up a little bit but the more I think about it the more I think this probably really can’t address everything properly in one place. So, again, seriously just let me know if you want follow up on anything - or if anyone does, for that matter. I’m not doing this quite in order though.

RACE: 

Yeah actually, I agree that “exotic” is pretty ??? terminology to be using tbh. I don’t imagine I would use that wording if I were writing something today and if we were to edit the series now, I’d remove it. I don’t remember the context, to be honest; whether it was only used in narration or if it was used in dialogue too. Dialogue might stay, if it’s to show a person speaks a certain way and has certain views on life, but I’d personally probably change that in narration unless it had a specific reason for being there. Which my very vague memories combined with your comment make me think probably not?

In regards to Hsin/Emilio plus even terminology like ‘exotic’ or whatever being used - so, upfront, I need you to know this whole post is not an excuse or etc. It’s just an explanation. 

I didn’t write Hsin or Emilio, so I honestly can’t speak for or about them. I would like to be able to give you some insight into “Sonny’s” background and his friends and family he said he was inspired by in writing them, or give you insight into Alicia’s background (as she is a person of color, at least I was always told she is), but I truly don’t even know what was a lie and what was truth anymore. He always told me his characters like Hsin and Emilio were based pretty directly on people he knew - well, Emilio in particular was hugely based on a cousin of his. But that cousin didn’t exist, it turns out, or at least not in the way I knew. We wrote our own characters and were in charge of their own stories, although we also co-wrote the series as a whole and had input on the plot and etc. But I never really dealt directly with Emilio or Hsin in the writing of them other than how my characters interacted with “his” characters.

I can’t speak on behalf of anyone so I honestly can’t say if Emilio and/or Hsin are concerning or not concerning portraitures of any demographic. I really feel that such a determination has to be up to each reader. I say that in part because I’ve heard over the years that people actually appreciated the way they were written, for various reasons, and some of the people saying that were from demographics that the characters represented. But that also doesn’t mean it has to be something across the board; that because one person feels a certain way, everyone else whether in or out of that demographic has to agree. Quite the opposite, really.

I wish I could even say something like “I know Sonny did a lot of research on xyz specific topic because we talked about abc in regards to it” but I can’t. I know we had those conversations but I don’t know if anything I was told is true. What I can say is the series was written basically 15 years ago. Or rather, started around 15 years ago, then written on/off over multiple years. And we started it essentially in the same vein as BL fanfic, just sort of as a fun thing to do on our off time without any initial plan to ever publicly share it. The good thing about humans and culture is we change as we grow, and there are many things we can continue to gain understanding of as we go. 

One of the really good things about the last 15 years is it’s become more and more accessible to learn about the world and its people. When we started ICoS, for example, Google streetview wasn’t a thing. In order to try to be accurate about something like the streets of a particular city, we either had to totally make shit up and say the war changed everything in that town or I had to try to track down a paper map of it and hope nothing had changed significantly since then. 

Slowly over the years, the globalization of information expanded. Over time, all the little details I didn’t know to even question became things I could find easily. Like, do they say W Something St or Something St W? Is it Avenue Blah or Blah Avenue? Do they even use terminology like avenue or streets? Do they commonly have alleyways everywhere or anywhere and if so how big are they? What are the roads made of? What is the lighting like? Are there basements? 

I grew up in Midwest USA on the tail end of tornado alley where a basement is an absolute must. Imagine my absolute confusion when I learned there are houses out there where they DON’T go underground. Like, at all. wtf??? From my, at that time obviously limited, experience, the only people I personally knew who didn’t have some sort of underground space were apartment dwellers or my friend who lived in the mobile home park. It was such a staple understanding in my life to assume everyone had a basement in their home that I had no idea to even question the existence of such a thing when trying to write another location within the US, let alone anywhere else in the world. And at a certain point when we were writing it, I didn’t even know to ask certain questions, or if I did I didn’t have an easy way of finding it.

If you were to read the very, very original version of Evenfall and compare it to what’s most recently released, for example, there are many differences. One example of something you might notice is the streets are totally different in Monterrey. That’s because we had to make up streets the first time around because I could not find any maps for the city. I tried but they just weren’t accessible for whatever reason; not in the detail I needed and where I could find them, or probably afford. We had to just be like “Welp, guess the war changed it all, sry!” to explain the random names and structure. But as the years passed, information spread to a minute level across the world slowly but surely. First, Google eventually had the layout of the city streets, then it had satellite imagery, then it had Google streetview, then it had people randomly uploading photos to locations, and so on. Eventually, there was enough information from big to small to feel relatively sure we could at least somewhat accurately represent the geography - not perfectly, absolutely not because we’d never been there - but an approximation that hopefully wouldn’t be too jarring for someone actually able to visit, themselves.

You may wonder why the hell I’m talking about streets in Mexico when your comment was on Hsin’s and Emilio’s characterizations, but I mention it because I look at a lot of things in writing with that same level of paranoia of wanting all the details possible to write it to try to be as accurate to at least someone’s reality as possible. That’s one reason why I haven’t written Domino, for example, which focuses on Vivienne’s life; it probably seems like it should be easy to do, and in ways it is. But I don’t feel nearly educated enough on how it would be to grow up in France in a rural then urban area with the sort of pressures she had as a young woman and with her different levels of wealth and the way she looked and etc etc to be fair to anyone who may find representation within that and to not accidentally jar them totally out of the experience by the equivalent of randomly throwing a basement in the middle of Texas because who the fuck knew Texans don’t automatically have basements in all their homes?? 

Really, with anything, there is always room for improvement - especially with anything as complex as any aspect of any demographic which inherently then serves as some form of representation for a huge variety of human beings. Humans, being complex beings themselves, will thus have an even larger variety in the way any topic can be seen. What is severely off-putting to one person might be acceptable to another. Sometimes society steps in and is like nah bro, idgaf if you’re cool with that, I’m not. And sometimes it remains so complex that it’s hard to give one exact answer.

What we tried to do was listen to feedback as we wrote and take it into account in the writing of the series itself. Also, especially later in the series, whenever possible we tried to do research as much as possible on whatever detail or topic we had going on to try to be as accurate as possible.

I’m truly not trying to skirt any sort of issue, I just don’t think I can properly say a singular reply to your concern without being unfair to different voices I’ve heard on this topic over the years. If I had never heard directly or indirectly from people that they specifically appreciate the representation of the characters, if in fact I had only ever heard concerns about them, it would be easier to say we were wrong. But I’m not part of any of the demographics so I can’t speak on behalf of any of them. Thus, I can only listen to what different people tell me, and know that regardless of what I’m told, for them that is truth and thus I respect it.

What I will say is it certainly was not the intention to upset, insult, alienate, or otherwise cause concern for anyone reading the series for anything other than the actual things intended to be fucked up like the things the characters went through and so on. I’m very sorry that the characterization is so upsetting and concerning for you. That really sucks; it takes away from the point of the story and puts you in a place that is deeply uncomfortable. I’m very sorry we put you in that position.

++

RELATIONSHIPS

Actually, I’d love to hear more what you mean by your comment. I have certain inferences I make based on what I think you mean but I don’t want to misinterpret and misrepresent your concerns.

The way I interpret “how the mlm relationships were so clearly hetero? the sex scenes were so straight to me tbh.” is maybe related to the idea of dominance vs submission? Like making an equivalence of that to masculine = dominant = power/strength = top = Hsin, and feminine = submissive = weakness = bottom = Boyd? Is that what you’re suggesting or did you mean something else? I have a lot of thoughts on this subject but, again, I don’t want to ramble on a tangent if I am totally misunderstanding what you meant. Especially since I rambled so much above.

So if you’d like to explore the topic more and would like thoughts/answers/etc just let me know in another anon ask more specifically what you mean, if you can. Thank you :)

I’ll go onto ask 2 for now - I forgot exactly what came up in that ask vs the 3rd ask so I’m not sure how long it will take me to type up a reply. Just in case I don’t finish it today, I wanted to sign this off in the meantime with I hope you’re staying healthy and safe!