#although then succession order would be wrong

[6ebe]

does anybody remember when I accurately predicted how game of thrones tv show would end bc I had a basic understanding of how the Tudor dynasty ended. lol.

[queenvhagar]

My perhaps controversial take on the HOTD characters, the GOT characters the writers are trying to mold them into, and the GOT characters they actually most resemble in the books (in my opinion - feel free to disagree).

Disclaimer: these are entirely disconnected series with unique characters, so it's impossible to do what the writers of HOTD seemed to be trying to do in season 1 i.e. mold the characters from Fire and Blood to fit the characters of GOT to try to recreate the success of the early seasons. Given this, I tried to choose one single character analogue from GOT that each HOTD/FB character is most like, but oftentimes the reality is that if any single character from Fire and Blood resembles a Game of Thrones character it is likely that they are a combination of more than one. All of this said, here is who I think the writers are trying to fit certain HOTD characters into vs the character they are actually most like (according to Fire and Blood):

Rhaenyra Targaryen: obviously the show wants her to be the new and improved Daenerys, a protagonist everyone can root for who wants to revolutionize the existing order. In reality, Rhaenyra is most like Cersei: a woman who seeks to use her three bastards to usurp thrones and gain even more power than she already has, all while committing incest with a family member and using her power to punish and silence her enemies. She uses the existing system to raise herself up and keep others below her. She does reach her goal of ultimate power but ultimately she is unable to hold it. In pursuit of holding onto power or gaining more of it, she watches as her children die early deaths. The smallfolk despise her for her methods of ruling. Eventually, she will cause her own downfall and die before her time.

Alicent Hightower: the show wants her to be Cersei, a mean-spirited, jealous woman protecting her problematic children and using her status as queen to put others in their place (they even used Cersei scenes as audition material for the role). In reality, I see Alicent as most like Catelyn - a flawed woman, mother to a king, seeking to further the rights of her son in the hopes of protecting her family from those who would harm them, guided by her own sense of justice, honor, and understanding of the laws of the land (and of course, hyper aware of the bastards in the room). All she wants is her and her children's safety, and she is willing to go to war for it. In the end, however, she watches as every last child is taken from her before she herself dies alone.

Viserys I Targaryen: the show wants us to see him as the ultimate father who loves his child unconditionally and always supports her, and that his view of right and wrong should be what guides the world. In reality, he is most like Robert Baratheon: a weak king unsuitable for rule whose mistakes and complacency lead to civil war after his death. His preoccupation with past events and people, and his role in a former love's demise, leads him to neglect his current wife and their children and make decisions that create long-term issues for his family and the realm.

Criston Cole: as soon as Criston turns away from Rhaenyra, the show wants you to view him as a Meryn Trant type of Kingsguard - a man unconcerned with honor and violently anti-women, more than willing to carry out terrible acts commanded of him. In reality, Criston is like more like Jaime: he seeks to make a name for himself as a knight, guided by his own sense of honor and justice, though he is judged by others as lacking such principles. His devotion to his position on the Kingsguard and his love for the royal family motivates him. Occasionally his self-confidence and delight in goading his enemies can make him appear callous and proud. Although he is not officially the royal children's "father," he has guided and protected them and their mother from early on in the absence of their official father.

Daemon Targaryen: the show wants you to both love and hate Daemon. It seems he should fill many roles that Jaime did - a sword fighter whose swagger and danger mix together, whose dishonorable acts follow him through the world. He acts primarily out of love or his pursuit of it, whether for his brother or his lover and her children. The viewer is supposed to see that deep down he is a good guy, no matter how many characters say that he's not. In reality, I see Daemon as a more capable Viserys III: a man adamant in his family's racial superiority, who believes he and his loved ones should have access to unchecked power because they're better than everyone else. A man who enjoys exercising his power over others and demanding obedience out of fear of his wrath. A man who uses his younger family member to further his own interests without much thought to her own wishes or agency and willing to hurt her if she doesn't act the way he wants her to.

Otto Hightower: the show wants you to view Otto as a new Littlefinger, someone sly about his intentions who uses spies, information, and unsavory methods to take advantage of the ruling family and further his own interests and increase his own power. I see him instead as more similar to Tywin: a Hand of the King seeking to put his family close to the throne in pursuit of legacy and advancing his family's station, a man who arranged for his daughter to marry the king so his blood would sit the Iron Throne and bring his family power for generations, a man acutely aware of the political world and how the game is played and willing to get his hands dirty to play it.

The Strong boys: the show wants you to root for Rhaenyra's perfect, good natured and pure intentioned sons as if they were the Stark boys (mixed with Jon Snow). Raised in a good family, these boys know right from wrong and love each other. Yet some people unfairly think less of them for their birth. In reality, the Strong boys are closest to Joffrey, Tommen, and Myrcella. Bastards set to inherit positions they have no claim to, they are coddled by their mother and protected from any consequences to their actions. When one attacks another child, their mother demands that the other child's family is punished for their actions (and doesn't even reprimand the child for his role in the conflict). The result is the child has no remorse for the harm done, and the other child's family festers resentment against the child. Some people uncover the truth of their birth and object to their place in the line of succession, and these people are killed for speaking the truth. Eventually, a war is fought to keep them and their mother away from the throne, resulting in all of them being killed.

Aegon II Targaryen: the show wants you to see him as Joffrey 2.0. A man interested in viewing sadistic acts for his own pleasure, who abuses women for his own enjoyment, and who is unfit to rule. In reality I see Aegon as closest to Robb: a first born son reluctant to rule as king once his father dies but who rises to the occasion to try to keep his remaining family safe. A king willing to fight his battles alongside his men, no matter the risk it might pose to him. A king who tries his best to rule but makes mistakes along the way that cost him dearly. In the end, he watches as he loses everything, and he dies young.

[rodolfoparras]

But like instead of sugar daddy Price how about sugar baby Price.

Thinking about Sugar Baby!Price

Pairing: John Price x Male Reader

Cw: power dynamic, sugar daddy/ sugar baby dynamic, age gap,

Thinking about Sugar baby! Price who signed up to a sugar baby/ daddy website in an attempt to earn some money on the side but because of his age he only gets a handful of matches and those that he gets never lead to dates.

But one day, after going without a match for a good couple of weeks, he gets matched with someone.

At first Price is confused because in his preferences he clearly states that he would rather be matched with a woman but on his screen there’s a picture of you, a man, who looks to be much younger than he is. By looking further into your profile, he sees that you’re a successful businessman, who’s looking for a date to attend with you to events and he can also see you’ve got no gender preference.

So it couldn’t have been a mistake right?

But Price is still hesitant because he’s never been on a date with a man and he’s heard his fair share of horror stories of sugar daddies from the women that frequented the same site, but money is money and Price finds himself accepting the offer.

However as he drives over to the restaurant he can’t keep doubts from creeping into his head, wondering if there’s a slight chance that you’re expecting a woman on this date.

But all doubts disappear when he walks through the door only to be met with the sight of your smiling face as you go to pull out a chair for him.

So far you seem polite, charming even and you look really handsome. Price might have only dated women before but he can admit when a man looks good. However looks can be deceiving and behind that exterior there might be someone that’s expecting more of him, something more like sex.

Just hearing the word echoing in his head has his throat drying up as he fiddles with the napkin in his hand. “I’d like to make one thing clear, I’m perfectly okay with dates but anything past that-“

He’s abruptly cut off by you, a chore of no’s escaping your lips as you frantically wave your hands in the air.

“Oh no no no I don’t do that I don’t sleep with uh my clients”

Oh, okay. Good.

“I didn’t think-“ he shakes his head, looking down at the table, feeling his neck, ears and cheeks burn.

“Don’t get me wrong,sir-“

“John” the older man corrects, looking up at you beneath long black lashes and you feel heat creep up your own neck, ears and cheek.

“Don’t get me wrong John, you’re very attractive,” you say with a soft smile still displayed on your face, but the only thing he can focus on is your words.

Attractive .

Attractive ?

You found him attractive.

“But I’m just looking for a date to attend with me to different type of events,”

Price who’s still lost in the thought that you find him attractive only nods his head and the two of you proceed to order dinner.

The date goes exceptionally well. For whatever reason you seem more interested in hearing him talk about himself rather than talking about yourself.

Although it may sound wrong in someone’s ear, he can’t help but love how much attention you’re paying to him.

You even drive him home instead of asking your Chauffeur to do so and you don’t leave until he’s safe inside his house.

When he goes inside he almost feels like a teenager, face flushed hair mussed, hands jittery and you haven’t even done anything!

And when he gets a text asking for another date he happily agrees to it.

Date after date and you continue to stick to your words, never initiating anything that might make him uncomfortable but for whatever reason Price is unable to shake the feeling of disappointment that starts to grow inside of him.

The doubts that have made home in his mind start telling him that maybe you don’t even find him attractive.

Price isn’t stupid he knows he isn’t young anymore, that he isn’t the most desirable bachelor in the world but that doesn’t mean that it hurts any less knowing that you don’t find him attractive.

However things take a turn one day, when the two of you are trying out suits that he can wear for an event.

As he stands there in the changing room, looking at his reflection in the mirror, he can’t help but feel a surge of confidence running through his body.

For the first time in a while he feels attractive. You’d gone out of your way to get a tailored suit for him even though he’d vehemently denied it, fearing it’d be too expensive and that he had a perfectly fine suit somewhere buried inside of his closet.

But now that he’s looking at himself he can’t help but feel immensely thankful for your kind gesture because the suit hugs his curves so well, the rich black color compliments his skin tone beautifully, and there’s even a pop of blue in his pockets and buttons that match the color of his eyes.

Prior to this you even made sure he got a haircut and trimmed his mutton chops.

“I have to admit, I’ll miss these curls” you say while running a hand through his sandy brown hair, and once again he feels heat creep up his cheeks neck and ears “But Marisa knows what she’s doing”

And he couldn’t agree more, whilst looking at himself in the mirror, hair much shorter now and slicked back, with facial hair trimmed and showing off the sharpness of his features.

When he walks out to show you the outfit, he hears a small gasp escape your lips while your eyes trail down his body.

Once again he can feel heat creeping up on him but he also feels a surge of confidence- a sense of power for having affected you in this way.

You finally manage to pull your eyes away from him, awkwardly clearing your throat as you go to speak “you look good John, really good” you say the second part quieter.

He manages to respond with a smooth thank you, tone sounding like the one he only ever used to charm his late wife, even biting back a smirk while saying that.

On the night of the event the two of you almost seem to be glued to each other. You don’t do anything to overstep boundaries but he can see the way your gaze is trained on him, the way you keep almost a possessive hand on his hip and the compliments that just keep rolling off your tongue while chatting with him.

When the night nears to an end and you’re walking him to his door he can’t help but get lost in his thoughts, in the feeling of you arm slung over his shoulder the smell of your cologne and the compliments that never seem to stop rolling off your tongue.

It all ends with him uttering the words “would you like to come in?” you freeze in your step and fall silent for a moment before finding your words again “Are you sure we don’t have to-

“I want to” he croaks out, throat suddenly feeling dry “I really really want to”

[radiance1]

Vlad owns a bakery.

It is, however, on the very downlow. The CEO of a massively successful corporation being known as the owner of a mere bakery would make it far too easy for people to access him, which would then lead to him having to hire people to keep said people who didn't come for the bakery out and that would just really ruin the mood.

On the other hand, he's also keeping it a secret from the Fenton family, he doesn't need them trying to install their 'defense systems' into his bakery because first of all, he already had his own. Second of all he's strong enough that most ghosts don't even want to try him and he could take care of any normal human and thirdly, he doesn't want that bumbling fool to bust down his walls because he can't grasp the concept of a door.

His bakery is successful, not enough to be famous, but he has a steady selection of customers. He doesn't want his bakery to be famous either, he would prefer to keep a good pool of regulars that were nice and calm.

After all, money is never an issue.

Of course, he has a few part timers, who he pays handsomely for their time.

Simple logic really.

More money = happy = greater efficiency.

Of course, Vlad knows that he's overpaying them more than the normal amount, but does he care?

No.

Because after all, as he has said.

Money is never an issue.

Recently, there's been a man by the name of Constantine coming by his bakery, who came at first by recommendation, took one of his items, paid and then left.

Then came back a few days later, then when Vlad showed himself from inside his kitchen and personally took the guy's order (his usual part timer called in sick) and the guy seemed to stare at him for a second too long, before getting his stuff and leaving.

Then the time he visited became shorter.

And shorter.

Until he was visiting daily.

Constantine seemed to have a certain... interest, in Vlad whenever he was around, and of course, Vlad noticed. Why wouldn't he?

Now, Vlad normally wouldn't have the time nor want to respond to the crushes of people he couldn't care less about, especially when he had Maddie. But, after recently accepting that Maddie has no interest in him and finally deciding to let that obsession that was fueled by spite, pettiness and some misguided feelings go.

Well, you could say he had time.

And Constantine wasn't displeasing to the eye.

===

There was a demon masquerading as a normal man in this bakery.

Constantine was sure of it, the bakery owner didn't feel human, and Constantine could tell from a glance that he wasn't. He wasn't exactly expecting it though, going to a bakery after the one he actually liked shut down due to financial problems, and then finding its owner to be a demon.

He was surprised to say the least, as well as disappointed, because after dealing with the demon in disguise the bakery would most probably shut down.

Except, the owner wasn't going around secretly killing people in the dark or torturing their minds or making them his eternal servants. In fact, he seemed to be treating them well, if what he gathered was correct.

They had a far higher pay than a part timer would normally have, they could call in sick and Vlad would accept that, even say that they just couldn't show up or feel mentally able to do their job that day and Vlad wouldn't care, wouldn't fire them, just tell them to come in when they can.

Weird, for a demon.

So, Constantine stayed his hand.

But he was waiting, waiting for that mask to slip up juuuuust the tiniest bit, make the wrong move, and then Constantine would send him back to hell where he originated from.

It would be shame, the treats he cooked were delectable and completely and utterly normal. But he could just find another bakery to eat at.

Although probably not as good.

[yandere-daydreams]

tw - none. live dove: tender and sweet.

“I didn’t think I’d see you here, old friend.”

Xianyun startled, stiffened, but recovered quickly – keeping her expression schooled and impassive as the so-called ‘mortal’ man, Zhongli, took a seat beside her. “You must have the wrong person, stranger,” she responded, eventually, never so much as glancing in his direction. “I’m sure we’ve never met.”

Zhongli let out a breath of a laugh. “A chance encounter, then – of two souls who must’ve known each other in a past life.” He paused, following her gaze. It was trained with an almost violent intensity towards you, the young tailor comparison fabric samples dutifully on the opposite side of the small shop. He’d only come to retrieve a set of burial garments Wangsheng Funeral Parlor had employed you to modify, but her unexpected presence had been a welcome surprise. “Although, I can’t say it seems like you choose this destination on a whim.”

She straightened, crossing her arms over her chest with an indignant huff. “When one is preparing oneself for a reemergence into society, one cannot be caught unprepared. Clothes, although often seen as frivolous expenditures, can be the defining factor in the success of one’s reintroduction.”  

“And I suppose,” Zhongli started, with a thoughtful hum. “That your own skill as a seamstress has waned in the past century?”

“Don’t be moronic.” It was an instinctual rebuttal, cutting and concise, only slightly undercut by the way she pursed her lips. “In spite of one’s own considerable talent, it’s not unwise to seek a professional opinion when unsure of modern fashions.”

“A professional opinion, which could only be found in one of the smallest shops in Liyue Harbor run by perhaps the most inexperienced—”

Her elbow jutted out, spearing Zhongli’s side and cutting him off as you approached – cradling a rolled bolt of fabric the color of the sky as it approached midnight, two strips of teal satin and black lace thrown over your shoulder. “I’m sorry for the delay, miss. We just received the loveliest dendrobium-treated silk from Inazuma, and—” You seemed to notice Zhongli for the first time, greeting him with a quick nod and a bright smile. “Zhongli, sir! I have your order in my workshop – I can grab it for you now.” And then, to Xianyun, “Do you mind if we take your measurements when I get back, Miss Xianyun?”

“Of course, dear. Take all the time you need.” For the first time, her eyes fell away from you and to the fabric in your arms, her head lulling gently to the side. “Its beauty is truly wonderous to behold.”

You really were charming, in all your obliviousness. With an enthusiastic nod and a few more words of praise to your supplies, you were off to your workshop to retrieve Zhongli’s materials. As soon as you’d disappeared behind the curtained doorway, he turned to Xianyun. “Its beauty is truly wonderous to behold,” he repeated, melodically. “I didn’t know you were such a poet, dear friend.”

“One more word,” she took a sharp breath, glaring daggers at the furthest wall. “And I will turn ever statue of Rex Lapis in this archon-forsaken nation to dust.”

Zhongli only grinned, leaning back with a slight hum.

At least Ganyu would be happy to know her mentor was seeking more youthful companionship.

[johnbrand]

Enforcing Normality

“Stop right there!”

Luke quickly pulled out the gun tucked under his shirt, aiming it directly at the man before him. 

“Woah woah!” The man put his hands up in surrender, taking a step back.

“Don’t move,” Luke commanded, although it came off a bit shaky. This was his first time ever bolstering such a dangerous weapon.

“Alright, ok,” the other man assured his tone was calm and steady. “I promise I won’t move if you would just lower the gun.”

“There’s no…you can’t negotiate.” Luke was struggling a bit, something the other man picked up on. He began to deduce that the programming had not yet successfully overridden Luke’s mind.

“Look, you don’t have to do this,” the man started. “I’m innocent.”

Luke’s eye twitched, but his position remained firm. “...That’s not true.”

“It is, I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I will shoot,” Luke tried to confirm.

“I bet you used to be just like me,” the man continued. “Before they got to you, you probably lived a happy life. A happy, homosexual life.”

“Shut up,” Luke spat. “I do live a happy life! A happy life with my wife and first kid on the way. A happy, normal life.”

The man took notice of the ring on Luke’s finger. Usually, by the breeding stage, the former inhabitant was long gone, displaced and discarded by the heterosexual algorithm that took over. But the fact that Luke had not shot on sight meant the former inhabitant was still fighting, even if Luke did not consciously realize it.

“You must have been strong, vigilant, vibrant,” the man persuaded. He cautiously took a step forward, trying to lure out whatever could still remain behind the straight male. “You can fight the enforced ‘normality’ they’ve drilled into you.”

Luke closed his eyes and violently shook his head. “Shut up shut up!” Taking it slowly, the man proceeded closer as his aggressor began to lose focus.

“There are people, a rebellion,” the man insisted. “People that can help you, save you, before it's too late.” 

Luke groaned, his head pounding as it battled against the strong values that had been transplanted into him. The man inched closer, now within distance to reach over and grab the weapon away.

“Let me help you,” the man pleaded. “Let me help you become gay again.”

A piercing explosion went off, followed by a soft thud. A single bullet had bore directly into the man’s skull, knocking him out and onto the ground. The conversion drug had absorbed into the brain on impact, not killing the man, but instead ceasing any conscious activity in order to get to work. Some effects were instantaneous, while others took a little more time. In the end however, once the conversion drug was introduced to the main system, there was nothing that could be done.

Still a little shaky, Luke’s eyes were glued to the man on the ground before him. He watched as the first changes began to take hold. The man's body twitched as his musculature expanded, pushing against the limits of his clothing. Body hair erupted soon after, followed by multiple cracks as his jaw squared out and frame became more angular. The Adam's apple began to grow more pronounced, along with the pouch between the legs, which would become the conversion drug’s production factory.

Luke took a couple of breaths before lodging his gun back into the waistband of his jeans. A small burst of adrenaline and pride overrode him as he watched the man straighten out before his very eyes. The man that he had straightened out. Feeling a childish glee emerging from within, Luke became jittery with the joy of enforcing heteronormativity. He reached for his phone and quickly dialed up the local guard, eager to report his first success before embellishing the tale to his wife at home.

[elysiansparadise]

My cap Venus lives for ur aesthetic and work 💗 I would love ur insight on Saturn in the 2nd 🪐

Hello love! Thanks for your words. 💗

Saturn in the 2nd house

With this placement it is very likely that the natives felt a sense of insecurity, they may think that they had never experienced what it was like to have a safe place to turn to when things went wrong, the lack of stability and order in their lives and that they experienced many things. that made them have to witness how what they or their family built, collapsed. The fear of putting effort into something only to have it collapse later. The fear of never having something secure and constant in their lives. They could have had economic problems since they were children or grew up in a home without structure. They had to assume the role of those who never broke, whom life could not move or provoke, many times being the support of the people around them or simply creating this mentality of "not causing more problems than there already were." They get used to carrying everything themselves, for fear of putting more burdens on the shoulders of those they love. Problems with self-acceptance and the mistaken idea of ​​having to do or achieve something to be loved. They have a big insecurity, and this is not having enough, either from sufficient material goods to survive or feeling that they are not enough.

Many are highly alert and wary when it comes to having others around, no matter how charming they may behave, it is difficult to let someone in completely. Many of them are very selective, and not only that, but they avoid very direct physical contact with other people, and can appear distant in that aspect. They usually know how to manage their money very well since they know how difficult it is to earn it. Financial growth can be slow but steady. Often, these people experience gradual progress in accumulating material goods and wealth. They are very persistent people when it comes to getting what they want and they highly value hard work. They hate laziness, both feeling that they are being lazy and the people around them are being lazy. Despite how secretive and selective they may seem, when they find people they value, they can be fiercely loyal and steadfast. These people can do many things for those they know they want to have around. Many of them have this way of thinking of giving to others the same thing that they give to the natives, they will never go out of their way to give to those who do not do the same for them. These natives are very consistent when it comes to giving to causes they feel are worthwhile. Consistency and stability are everything for them, even outside of economic aspects.

Material security is a priority. These people work hard to ensure they have a solid financial foundation that will provide them with long-term stability. Financial success for these natives can come later in life, after years of constant and disciplined effort. However, once they achieve it, it tends to be long-lasting and stable. They have a strong belief in the value of personal effort and in earning one's livelihood through hard work. These people tend to feel more secure and satisfied when they know they have earned what they have. Many of them have learned to work independently after what they want, so it can be difficult for them to accept support. Many of them may even have problems accepting gifts or gifts from other people [although that doesn't mean they don't like it]. These people manage their resources effectively, and by resources I not only include economic ones, but all of them. They will not spend their energy or time on things that are not worth it, neither on projects, nor jobs, much less people.

-> Go back to the masterlist

[starwell-tarot]

PAC: What part of you requires some introspection this summer? ⛱️

Pick a pile reading: What aspect of yourself or your life needs some thinking over? What questions should you be asking yourself this summer to get to know yourself better?

Pile 1-3, left to right

Pick the picture you feel most drawn to. If you feel drawn to more than one of them, you can read the interpretation to multiple piles.

Disclaimer: All my readings contain themes of mental and emotional struggles and pains as they strive to comfort those. I don't intend on rubbing you the wrong way and I'm doing this with the hope I can help people feel better, but if it doesn't work I might just not be the right person to comfort you.

Disclaimer: I'm not a mental health professional in any way. Although my tarot readings focus on giving emotional and mental reassurance, I can only give you as much as a friend could give you - encouraging words, friendly advice, a shoulder to cry on or a metaphorical hug. Please take in the information responsibly, and if your mental health is greatly affecting your day to day functions, please consider looking for a professional if possible. I'm afraid I can't be more than a tarot-enthusiastic friend.

Take what resonates and leave what doesn't. Take care of yourselves and remember hope is your best friend. 🖤

Pile 1 - VIII of Pentacles, Four of Wands, Knight of Swords, Balsamic Moon

Who do I dream of becoming?

The key elements in your reading are your dreams and hard work.

It seems like you have a very clear idea of how your ideal life would look like, and it's beautiful. So beautiful in fact, that the cards depict a twirling dance, gracious and romantic. There is a version of you that you have fallen in love with, but I fear you think it's unreachable. You might have put some work into it already, into reaching your goals, and yet you still feel far away from what you want to achieve. But do not rush.

No big dream in life is easily accessible to grab. They require patience and perseverance, and a lot of obstacles must be overcome before you can finally feel you've gotten everything you ever wanted. The key here is, you must avoid self-sabotage. Perhaps you are insecure, or you lack self-belief, or you get easily discouraged. Know that failure is only the path to success, so look into the lesson you can learn from your mistakes, instead of letting them consume you. Look ahead to the future fully, and break down the demons in your head into tiny little digestible pieces. Identify all of your obstacles, the things (or people) that might stand in-between you and the version of you you dream of. Think of ways you can solve these obstacles, one by one, slowly and surely. Go into the smallest of details when you question what is stopping you, where exactly you stand right now, and everything you want to achieve. Plan and be meticulous.

The balsamic moon gives the advice that, in order to become this dream version of yourself, you must first let go of all the limitations you've put onto yourself, taken from the past you've lived. Your past circumstances should not define you anymore, and you must allow yourself to change and live as though you are truly reborn into the person you want to be. 💚

Pile 2 - The Lovers R, Knight of Wands, Balsamic Moon

Who am I becoming?

The key elements in your reading are self-image and transformations.

It seems that for a very long time, you thought you knew exactly who you were and what you needed. You didn't feel much need to change the way you were doing things, and you were wearing your own personal colors permanently, and they were painting a self image of you. And lately, there's new colors on the canvas. And you don't know what to do with them. It is almost like discovering there's a whole another person living in your body, a strange experience of newly acquired self-knowledge. This can be uncomfortable, but know we as people are always expanding. Whether you are changing for good or for bad (this is also subjective) it is something you must embrace and address. If you fear you are turning into an unknown, malefic force, figure out what is making you act this way, and face the demon in the mirror. There's darkness in all of us, and we're allowed to be imperfect, but we must not let it consume us. Tell the darkness you see it, you acknowledge it and you'll work hard to heal it so that it doesn't burst out again. If you feel you're turning into something unfamiliar and strange, but not exactly bad, you must address what it brings into your life. Perhaps it's a change you needed. Perhaps you're on your path to growth, and that's always confusing.

All in all, do not resist strangeness and changes in yourself - instead, identify these changes, welcome them in, and let them talk to you. Let them tell you what they need from you, what presents they bring, or what old beliefs they want to replace. The balsamic moon gives the advice that you should be open to change, for that's what defines the future moment. The past cannot change, it is merely a limitation. Do not limit yourself, and instead let the future gently sway you. 💛

Pile 3 - Ace of Cups, Knight of Wands, New Moon

Why am I afraid of saying yes?

The key elements of your reading are self-love and opportunities.

I feel like you are in a very strange situation of almost… procrastinating self-love. You know you deserve more, but you cannot bring yourself to accept it. But deep inside, you know.

Deep inside you know you bring beautiful things into the world. Deep inside you know your quirks are not negative as you see them. Deep inside I think you know you deserve all the love in the world. You simply must accept it, so that you can finally let yourself receive all the beautiful things you've been denying yourself of having. I fear what is keeping you stuck is heavy and tangled, binding you to this version of yourself that is afraid to ask for more. These binds must be untangled. Try to think why you are denying all the blessings - what makes you believe all of these negative things about yourself? Once you find the cause, ask yourself if that situation is, in fact, still relevant to the person you are today. Once you let go of your old belief systems, you can finally be free. And if the fear of change is strong, or you cannot let go of your beliefs, ask yourself: what is the worst thing that could happen if I love myself a bit today? Who's stopping me from doing that?

The new moon gives the advice that the hardest part of everything is always the start. However, once you begin to allow a little kindness, a little love to grace you, things will slowly become less and less uncomfortable. Baby steps can take you a long way. It is time you allow your life to become beautiful. 💙

I hope this reading was useful to you!

Please consider leaving some feedback so I know if my readings resonate well. 🖤

While introspection is hugely important for self development, do not forget having fun is just as important for the mental health! So go have fun this summer 😉

If you enjoy my work, please consider buying me a Ko-Fi.

©starwell-tarot do not copy, translate or repost.

[dustysalmon]

Eye of the Storm - Chapter 1

Pairing: Silco x Reader Rating: Explicit Warnings/Tags: graphic depiction of violence; slow burn; enemies to lovers Word count: 4.5k

Summary: After a chain of unexpected events, Jinx is arrested, and you find yourself in possession of the gemstone. On top of it all, you are forced into a reluctant alliance with Silco. What else could possibly go wrong?

Takes up at the end of episode 7.

Read on ao3 ⎜ Next chapter

It is not the first time your unit has been called to assist at the borders, although it’s been years since topside ordered a complete blockade.

The panic had been evident on the councillors faces during the meeting that preceded your affectation. They fear the escalation of violence after the bombing in the city center as well as the murder of several enforcers earlier this week. There have even been rumours of an organised rebellion rising from the undercity, ready to strike multiple strategic places in Piltover. But those are just that, rumours. You have heard other rumours. Apparently, whoever killed those enforcers also decided to drop by the safe holds of the Council and steal something. The authorities have been suspiciously secretive about the ordeal, but you have a feeling it has to do with hextech. And the Council, usually quick to shy away from firm countermeasures, has made the decision to take a stand a little too rashly for your taste. This, plus the sudden removal of Heimerdinger’s seat at the table… No, there is something else at stake here, something bigger and perhaps more preoccupying than they are letting on.

And so here you are, on the south east bridge, among dozens of other enforcers. They don’t seem too aware or concerned about the actual reason for their presence, but they certainly appear to enjoy roughing up a couple Zaunites just for the thrill of it. Within the span of two days, you have already sent eight of your officers home. Young hot shots, mostly here to see some action and prove themselves in front of their comrades. People who shouldn’t be in the force to begin with, but the enforcers’ body always has and will continue to accept just about anybody within their ranks. It was a cesspool of violent and morally lacking folks long before you arrived and will remain exactly that for years to come. 

The majority of the officers mobilised for the Council’s big display of power isn’t trained to handle riots anyway, that much is obvious, and the entire situation is bound to turn to shit eventually. Regardless, you have traded your rifle for a good old baton, and encouraged your men to do the same. The firearm is tightly secured at your back— you’re lenient, not stupid—but the rioters have been fairly docile since the first barricades were installed, armed with nothing more than cardboard signs and harmless smoke bombs. Hardly a challenge at all, not to mention, you would like to avoid needless mayhem if you can help it. Your superior, Warren, strongly disagrees. Well, superior in name only; the man barely has any field experience, hardly ever steps out of the comfort of Piltover; a textbook office rat. If you had to guess, you would say this is the first time he’s actually come face to face with Zaunites. He has never hidden his utter repulsion for the latter— he usually refers to them as trenchers— and this new assignment is a godsend. He would drown them all in the gutter if he had his way. Halas, the Sheriff’s position was swept right from under his nose by Marcus, equally hateful and ambitious at the time. The years have tamed him for sure, although you still find it hard to explain his complete one-eighty when it comes to dealing with the undercity. Once, he was determined to give them hell, back when he was just a rookie, always babbling on about how he would handle the "Zaunite problem", and offering solutions (if you can call them that) that would have met quite the success among the most monstrous tyrants. 

When his impromptu promotion was announced, you had expected him to take full advantage of his new position and act on his threats. In fact, you had expected something very much like the events unfolding before you right now: blockades, raids, random inspections, an obnoxious display of strength—the whole circus. But instead, most of the troops had retreated completely from Zaun, leaving the undercity in a situation reminiscent of when Vander was in charge. The streets had been left completely unmonitored, allowing numerous gangs to rise and breed terror in the underground. Any sense of community ceased to exist in the blink of an eye, quickly replaced with defiance, greed and violence. Funny thing, that it took one man, one figure to hold a whole city together. Take him out of the equation, and an entire city is lost. And then came Shimmer, the final step that made all hell break loose. 

You had often wondered whether a complete occupation would have made a difference. In a way, you had your answer now. It wouldn’t have changed a damn thing. The economy down there was frozen, leaving the poorest Zaunites in even worse conditions than before, if that was possible. Controlled chaos, that’s all this is. And the Council is probably looking at the current state of things and congratulating themselves on their good work. It has become routine lately, but once more you wonder what it is you’re doing here exactly.

In the cacophony you hear your name being called from the crowd and recognise a familiar face. Without a second thought, you strut towards the noisy crowd.

"I wouldn’t get too close if I were you." Warren says from behind you, eyeing the mob suspiciously. You offer him a snarky grin.

"What’s the matter, Warren, afraid of a couple sticks and stones?" You relish in the laughter that emanates from the group of enforcers surrounding him before Warren silences them with a death glare, his face red with both anger and embarrassment. When he turns back, probably to reprimand you, you’re already on the other side of the bridge. 

You walk past the last line of enforcers, the big ones, hidden behind their goggles and masks. Not necessarily the best intermediary for parlay or negotiations. You come face to face with an elder man, a fisherman’s hat screwed low on his head, just above his tired blue eyes. He hunches over the barricade towards you.

"How long is this gonna last? They just suspended all exportation of goods. We’re suffocating down here." He shouts, hands gesticulating in the air, but you can barely hear him over the racket.

"I know that, but my hands are tied here, Lou." You say apologetically. 

The economies of the upper and undercity are very much interdependent, even if that is mostly true one way more than the other, of course. Numerous Zaunites work on the other side of the stream, some fortunate and gifted kids have the opportunity to study in the University district. And while it is true that Piltovians prefer to rely on their own supplies and food, they import daily from the undercity, whether it be fish, brews, or local foodstuffs. 

Contrary to popular belief, it is not rare for topsiders to stoop to undercity level, although it is usually for more illicit activities. Shimmer consumption, human trafficking, money laundering, you name it. Needless to say that the blockade doesn’t impact topside nearly as much as it does Zaun. It makes no difference to Piltovians if it lasts for weeks, months, or possibly even years. But the undercity’s days would soon become numbered if the situation doesn’t evolve. 

A huge detonation is heard on the far side of the bridge and leaves your ears whistling for a few seconds. When you come to, there is a thick cloud of smoke rising from the same spot, but you can still make out the enforcers’ silhouettes as they charge into the protesters. Idiots. You barely have the time to turn back to Lou when another loud boom erupts. Then another. It’s really on now. You grab at the old man’s shoulder, a grave look on your face. 

"Go home, Lou. Now!" He doesn’t need to be told twice, still, you follow him with your eyes until he disappears from view. You realise only too late the tear gas canisters that have been thrown all around you. You reach for your mask but the gas is already stinging your nose and  assaulting your senses, it feels like your entire face is burning. Tears start to fall down your cheeks as you struggle to pull out your goggles. The gas has settled in your eyes now, and the  eyewear obviously won’t change that, but you can’t think clearly at the moment and put them on regardless as you start to pull back to your squad. In the distance, you can hear Warren shouting hysterically, asking for more gas, more pressure on the line, always more. He calls to you once you are back in the safe perimeter.

"Sticks and stones, huh?" He taunts you, and you can clearly imagine his stupid face mocking you behind the mask. 

"All of this for a bit of smoke?!" You refrain from calling him a dumbass in front of everyone else, although just barely, but you don’t even try to hide the anger and exasperation in your voice. He can launch disciplinary actions if he likes, this whole operation is already a complete disaster, and he will suffer the consequences too. You throw a quick look at the mess happening all around you. Utter panic among the protesters, untrained enforcers, and an incompetent chief. And people will wonder what could possibly have gone wrong. You sigh. On second thought, let Warren drag you in front of the Council if he wishes, you will have a lot of things to say.

You blink the last of the gas from your eyes and gather your thoughts. So the protests have gone up a notch after all, that much is true. But you remain convinced that the blockade is bad news for everyone. You grab the megaphone and clear your irritated throat as best as you can while your colleagues prepare to launch another charge. This will not be a quiet night after all.

Two hours, that’s all the time you get before you are unexpectedly called back for duty. You gulp down a can of hot soup, hop into a fresh blue uniform, and you’re out the door. For the first time, you are stationed on the main bridge, where you’ve heard things tend to be more heated. It is a last minute change, and very little information is given to you about your purpose here tonight, but it must be important if the Sheriff’s presence is any indication. Typically, back-up is hardly ever needed at night fall, most of the protesters leave at around 7 p.m. and come back at midday. So it is without surprise that you find the bridge perfectly calm and silent, with a large group of enforcers standing by. They seem to be waiting for something, or someone. You rapidly go over some procedures with your squad and dispatch them at key locations around the area before finding Marcus. 

"So, what’s this all about, Sheriff?" You truly loathe to call him that, but the man likes having his ego stroked every now and then. Might as well play the good cop card in order to squeeze what you can out of him. You’re met with a suspicious and frankly condescending look. Whatever information it is you’re asking for, it would seem it is above your pay grade.

"We’re meeting someone. Your team is here to make sure it all goes smoothly."

Not much to go with, but the gears are already spinning in your head. Could it be that the person responsible for the attacks and the break-in in Piltover had requested a face to face in order to calm things down; seeing as the situation had escalated today. A request for parlay, perhaps, or a negotiation. You lower your tone as your address Marcus again.

"This whole thing," you gesture at the barricades on the bridge, "it’s about Hextech, isn’t it.?" His eyes grow wide, and the way he freezes all but confirms your suspicions. For all his ability to play the Council like a fiddle, the man had always had always been terrible at concealing his emotions. 

"How’d you figure that out?" He asks seriously. You snort.

"A raid in the Council’s stronghold? Let’s just say I seriously doubt that whoever broke in came for Heimerdinger’s book collection." You say sarcastically.

Suddenly, the spotlights come to life, and a masked enforcer joins the two of you.

"They’re here, sir." Marcus nods and turns to you.

"Get behind the second line, and stay there unless ordered otherwise." You are about to protest but he is already moving forward with a small squad. The audacity, to call you here during your off-hours only to have you hang back and away from the main event. Regardless, you start to back up slowly, keeping attentive eyes fixed before you. In the distance, two figures emerge from the evening mist, progressing towards the roadblock. The enforcers take aim and start walking too, meeting them in the middle with Marcus flanking them. His hands are clasped behind his back, and he seems awfully relaxed despite the nagging tension in the air. 

You end up much further away than you would like, but orders are orders. You squint painfully in order to catch whatever you can from the exchange. The two silhouettes are clearer now, thanks to the powerful lights; a young boy and a woman, unarmed and without backup, at least none that you can see from your position. Your eyes focus on the boy, on his outfit more specifically, and it takes you about a second to connect the dots. The mask dangling from his hip, the bandana tied around his neck, the big flying board strapped to his back. A Firelight. And not just any member of the controversial gang, this one is none other than the leader, Ekko. And next to him is— no, that makes no sense—Kiramman? You blink a few times. Surely your sleep-depraved mind is playing tricks on you. But it is her, Caitlyn Kiramman, daughter of senior councillor Cassandra Kiramman, and a very promising enforcer who suddenly went rogue not even a week ago, or so the Sheriff insisted. 

An enforcer and a Firelight, quite the odd pairing indeed, especially since the latter have recently been designated as the prime suspects of the recent attacks that shook Piltover at the core. Even though as far as you are concerned, the accusation makes no sense. You have yet to see the so-called irrefutable evidence that has been found against them, evidence which has never been officially presented, but led to the blockade of the entire city regardless. 

It had always been your belief that the Enforcement body put too much effort in fighting the Firelights. The only trouble they cause is against the Eye of Zaun’s production of Shimmer, which topside should be grateful for; if anything, the Firelights are doing most of the work for them. True, they had attacked a shipment over the city not that long ago, but it was clear that Piltover was not their target. It is something you have been thinking about for a while now, this obsession with the Firelights, when crime and Shimmer are the true plagues and spreading like never before.

From the distance you see Marcus ordering his men to stand back as he moves forward to meet with Kiramman and Ekko. No matter how many times you turn the problem over in your head, you can’t make head or tail out of this alliance. Although you have a feeling this little night encounter will clarify a few points. The young boy pulls some sort of protective cylinder from behind him, although he seems reluctant to show what hides inside. He opens it eventually, leading Marcus to inch closer in order to inspect the goods. There’s a pause, the party gauges each other out in apparent uncomfortable silence. Whatever the Firelight boy revealed has definitely caught the Sheriff’s interest, although not enough to conclude a bargain it would seem. Marcus just stands there motionless, as if weighing his options. Kiramman is talking to him now, you can only assume she is pushing for some sort of deal, an exchange perhaps, intel for intel. Money? Surely Marcus wouldn’t… You suddenly stop all conjecture/speculation and watch in complete shock as he pulls out his pistol and fires a single shot, square in the boy’s stomach. The latter collapses, forcefully projected backwards with the power of the point blank shot. 

Silence reigns on the bridge, save for a few crows cawing and flying away, the rest suspended in time, waiting. What the hell. 

Marcus is now aiming at a discomfited Caitlyn, a rare sight, and his men have started to move forward, getting in formation around the woman. They exchange words, but Marcus does most of the talking as Caitlyn looks too petrified to speak. Orders be damned, you leave the line of enforcers who are currently staring incredulously at each other, as shocked as you are. There’s a figure running towards the meeting point, it appears to be a woman, but you can barely make her out through the fog. What you can clearly see, however, is the swarm of small green lights flying at a rapid pace alongside her. Firelights. Hundreds of them, merging to the same location as if they had been summoned there. Then, the cloud of insects lingers above Marcus, Caitlyn and the group of enforcers before descending upon them. A small number reach past the center of the bridge, to you, and you reflexively bat them away. You’ve never liked insects, not from this close anyway, and certainly not in great numbers. Some enforcers hold out their gloved hands to allow the firelights to land, seemingly amused by the situation. Admittedly, it’s quite a pleasant distraction from what usually happens up there— or doesn’t happen. 

A tiny clicking sound emanates from all the bugs at once, like a detonation, and next thing you know, you are violently projected against the bridge’s bannister.

For the next minute or two, the only sound you hear is a numbing and constant whistling in your eardrum. You feel a hot liquid running slowly down the side of your temple, and your head is pounding like a jackhammer. Around you, bodies of enforcers lie limp on the ground in puddles of thick blood. You have seen your share of gruesome and violence, but can’t help the nausea that overtakes you as you scrawl through a sea of freshly detached limbs, the smell of copper filling your lungs. You reach an enforcer, one of the few still conscious. He is moaning in pain, mumbling incoherently as he holds up his arms, both severed at the wrist and forearm. Moans turn to screams as the realisation sinks in, you wonder if he knows his right leg is missing too.

As your hearing gradually comes back, you realise there is something going on at the centre of the bridge, where the explosions did the most damage. Gathering your strength and balance, you rise to your feet and progress towards it. More fighting it would seem. A shot rings in the air and lodges itself in a stone pillar just a couple feet away from you. You march on, unphased, a trembling hand hovering above your holster. You recognise the Firelight leader, who seems to have been untouched by the explosions, and facing him… Those long blue braids, that slender figure. Jinx. And the bombs all make sense now. There’s only one person in this city who would be capable of manufacturing such a weapon, and nobody makes anything go boom like Jinx does, all Enforcers learn that the hard way.

The two teens throw themselves at each other with a speed that makes the fight difficult to follow. Ekko quickly takes the upper hand, pinning the girl down with all his might. One, two, three hard punches square in the face, most people would have been knocked out cold by now, but Jinx struggles as best she can, until her body has nothing left to give. Ekko hovers over her, fist in the air, ready to strike one final blow to her blood-smeared face. But his hand hangs in the air, suspended in time, petrified. 

Your heart sinks at the disturbing spectacle unfolding before you. What leads two children to fight to the death and show such a level of animosity? You don’t have time to answer that question as another large detonation erupts at the exact place where Ekko and Jinx were fighting. 

The boy is the first to emerge, and it appears that the weapon got him good this time. He limps towards you and collapses in your arms. But the second he acknowledges your uniform, he starts struggling weakly against you, moaning in pain against your shoulder. The cries, however, have nothing to do with the physical pain. The stir from utter distress and despair. You don’t insist, and let him go gently, supporting him all the way. 

"You should go." You say as you hear the cavalry starting to make progress from the other side of the bridge. Took them long enough. Ekko, although his head is still pounding, manages a frown.

"Why?" 

"Your work is far from done, kid. Now get going." Your tone is firm enough to get the message across, but warm enough to convey that you care at least a little bit, and Ekko simply nods, peers at you one last time in mild confusion, before limping away through the fog.

A couple feet away, Jinx lies unmoving on the ground, and you pray that she isn’t dead as you approach and crouch beside her. Who knows what King of the underground would do if his protégé was to be taken away from him. The question is what would be obliterated first, Zaun or Piltover. Either way, there would be only ashes left on both sides. You let a sigh of relief escape as you feel a light pulse against the girl’s wrist. However, she needs medical attention, sooner rather than later. Her injuries look severe even to your untrained eyes and she has lost a lot of blood. As you let her arm down, her fingers relax, and a glowing round object rolls from her grasp. You do a double-take as you gape at it. It can’t be. The gemstone. The source of so many turmoils this past month just inches away from you, so shiny and out of place among the debris, as if daring you to take it. 

"Are you alright? Where’s the Sheriff?" You were so taken by the object that you completely missed the hurried footsteps behind you. As quickly and discreetly as possible, you shove the gemstone inside a compartment of your utility belt and turn to face the small group of enforcers gathered at the scene, Warren among them. A sigh of relief escapes you as there’s no trace of the Firelight leader. He had slipped away just in time.

"He did not make it." You say, rising to your feet. The men in uniform exchange incredulous looks. "Help me with the body." They must have missed the urgency in your tone because they remain unmoving, their eyes still taking in the bloodbath. "Come on, Teebo, put those big arms of yours to use." 

"She’s right, boys," Warren jumps in, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "We’ve been after her for weeks, and now we finally got somethin’ to show for. The council will be pleased." He stands proudly, hands on his hips as two enforcers work to lift Jinx’s inert body of the ground. "Let’s see how the son of a bitch can manage without his prized pupil—" the sentence dies in his throat and he freezes, shoulders stiffening. He might as well have seen a ghost. "Speaking of the devil."

You've never actually met the Eye of Zaun. You've seen the murals of course, heard the stories, and encountered his goons more times than you can count. But most of all, you've witnessed the damage and destruction he’s caused in the undercity over the past few years— shimmer, gang violence, oppression of the chembarons, child labour. Now, he may not be directly responsible for that last one, but the man has hardly done anything to stop it. It's rampant. Spreading like a disease with no cure in sight. You are all too familiar with it.

As you stand a couple paces away from Silco himself, you finally understand the fear and dread he inspires in both zaunites and pilties alike. His entrance feels almost theatrical and dramatic in the mist. It is just him and two large henchmen…against dozens of armed enforcers. There's no chance, no world in which a fight would go his way. And yet, there isn’t a trace of doubt in his one good eye. He's ready to pounce, to fight to the death like a raging animal to retrieve the girl with blue hair. No one has ever looked at you this way before—with such pure, unfiltered hatred. And you’ve just met the guy.

You take one tentative step forward, but that’s as far as you. Silco’s gaze freezes you in place, and whatever you were about to say gets stuck in your throat.

"Let’s grab him too" Warren urges right from behind you, restless. 

"Those aren’t our orders," you say absently, your attention fixed on the one-eyed man.

"Are you kidding me? We could hit two big fucking birds with one stone. Right here! This could be huge for us."

"Don’t push your luck, Warren. We’ve got the girl. That’s the best bargaining chip we could hope for." That seems to get the point across, and Warren backs down.

"Get her back to the truck. This is a good day, gentlemen, a very good day!" He triumphs as he retreats with the rest of the squad. 

Silco takes a step forward, fists clenched at his side. One of his men grips Jinx’s makeshift mini-gun, finger on the trigger, odds be damned. You advance as well, hanging your rifle on your shoulder, hoping so erase any sign of hostility. If a gunfight was to break out now, Zaun would have to find itself a new leader, and the blue-haired girl would no doubt be caught in the crossfire. Silco, despite his anger and desire to kill everyone in sight to get to Jinx, seems to understand that. His shoulders relax, slowly lowering, and he motions for his men to step back. He remains firmly planted there, challenging you with a look—silent, but deadly. Your heart pounds so hard in your chest that you can hear it in your head. As you watch Silco disappear into the fog, just as he had emerged, you can’t help but wonder if you’ve just signed your own death warrant.

[insomniac4000]

Hello! May I request a ff about chrizzMD where y/n participated in the 20v1 and everything kept going wrong for her but somehow she managed to win or something like that? Thank you very much x

I really enjoyed writing this. If anyone wants a sequel with their first date let me know

20vs1 ChrisMD

When Y/N saw the tweet that the one, the only ChrisMD was taking applications for a football themed 20v1 she immediately thought about entering. She had a following, it wasn't huge by any means, about 75k subscribers where she did book reviews and some travel to different destinations and attractions like odd museums, places off the beaten path. It was enough to make a living and that was enough for her, knowing not everyone achieves major success but she could do what she loved and paid the bills so she liked her life.

One of y/n's worst personality traits was her indecisiveness, she liked the thought of doing the video, it could be fun and of course she thought Chris was a very attractive man but on the other hand what if she made a fool out of herself? She went back and forth about this for days, it was her friends who eventually convinced her it would be a good opportunity. It was only when she had filled in the application and sent it off that she realised she was one day over the deadline.

“Fuck,” she said to herself when she read the line again and cursed her indecisiveness again. She pushed it all to the back of her mind however and once again just concentrated on her content, using a random number generator to chose the order of the five books she had just purchased to review.

To her surprise one day y/n received an email to the account she used for professional matters, when she looked at the address of the person who sent it her heartbeat quickened, she could feel it beating hard through her chest, it was from ChrisMD. She went to click on it quickly and in her haste clicked on the one wrong email at first, but she found the right link and read the words, trying to keep calm.

Dear y/n Thank you for your interest in the latest 20v1 video. We had more applications than we thought so firstly we would like to thank you for your patience while we went through them all. We didn’t expect the response we received and are sad we cannot have everyone in the video we would like to. However we would love to have you participate in the video, please respond to this email if you are free to film next week Thursday and we will give you further information and instructions. ChrisMD and his team.

The message was professional and a little cooperate but y/n had to real in her excitement, this was a video for content and Chris probably wasn’t truly looking for love in a video, then again who knows what would happen.

The day of the shoot y/n was incredibly nervous. She walked onto the pitch and met all of the other girls, Chris’s producer Jamie introduced himself to everyone and explained what was going to happen for the first round. The weather wasn’t great, it was grey and cloudy which wasn’t too unusual for London, everyone just hoped it wouldn’t start to rain.

“Oh my God there’s Chris!” A girl with an American accent enthusiastically shouted, y/n looked over and there was the small curly haired man, taking a seat next to Calfreezy and ArthurTV. Y/N had to admit that although she did find Chris attractive he was much, much more attractive in person than he was in photos, he seemed quite relaxed as he laughed at something Arthur had said. The girls were all lined up, y/n was firmly in the middle of the pack.

The first challenge was to go up and introduce yourself, you were to say a pick up line and then try and score a goal. Y/N watched on as she saw her fellow competitors go bye and soon enough it was her turn.

“Okay Chris next up this is y/n,” Jamie said off camera knowing this would be edited out of the video, the girl walked in front of the table and had a small nervous smile on her lips.

“Hello y/n how are you?” Chris asked smiling and nodding at the girl in front of him. She smiled and swept her hand through her high ponytail.

“I’m good how are you guys?” Her voice came out a little more high pitched than usual but at least it wasn’t shaky.

“Good thanks, so when you’re ready.”

“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again wearing my Arsenal Jersey?” Y/N said, and Chris laughed a little bit, ArthurTV however wasn’t as impressed.

“Then why didn’t you just wear an Arsenal top?” The brunette asked, a confused yes slightly mischievous look on his face.

“Actually yeah!” Chris laughed along with his friend. Y/N looked down at her England top and panicked slightly, fumbling over her words.

“It’s the Euro’s I’m being patriotic,” she replied hurried.

“Fair enough, kick the ball when you’re ready.” Chris could tell the poor girl was really nervous, he had gone through all of the applications and knew a small bit about all of the girls there, he knew this wasn’t the usual type of content y/n was used to so understood her nerves, he wanted to make sure at least the girls all had a great time regardless. Y/N took a deep breath before running up to the ball, kicking it with her right foot she looked and put her hands on each of her cheeks when she saw it slam into the post on the right hand side.

“Unlucky! But you seem really sweet so I’m going to put you through to the next round,” Chris said, his hands clapped together in his usual way whenever he spoke in videos.

“Thanks!” Y/N replied and skipped a little when she went back to the waiting area to watch the rest of the girls.

The next segment was taking free kicks. Something y/n wasn’t looking forward to too much, she wasn’t much as footballer, she instead used to do dance and gymnastics when she was younger so the complete opposite end of the spectrum to football.

“Any tips?” Y/N as she placed the ball in the spot. ���Just run up and follow through with your foot, like one swift movement,” Chris coached y/n nodded before muttering to herself. “I’m going to hit someone,” when the eventual video was released this utterance was clipped three times, which could only mean that her foresight was unfortunately correct. She had a good run up but looked in horror as the ball span and landed straight into Arthur’s face.

“OH MY GOD I AM SO SO SORRY!!!!” Y/N exclaimed through her hands which were over her mouth in shock. Both Chris and Freezy of course found this hilarious and Chris couldn’t stop laughing at the sight of his friend now rolling around on the floor.

“I am really am sorry,” the girl said over and over again as she walked over to the injured party.

“That was amazing, for nearly decapitating ArthurTV you’re through,” Chris stated clapping his hands in amusement.

“This is going to go on the shorts channel isn’t it?” Y/N replied blushing as she walked away, causing further laughs from Chris and Freezy. Round three was a talent round. Instead of doing something she did usually y/n decided to learn a new skill, she had spent hours and hours learning to juggle.

“Oh no she’s got more boys, quick everyone duck!” Arthur joked when y/n walked up.

“I’ll stand far away enough so no one should get hurt this time,” the girl explained. She started off well, juggling the three red balls with ease, that was until she dropped them, cursing as she did.

“At least I didn’t hit anyone this time,” she said sheepishly.

“You know what, I’m going to put you through to the final round,” Chris said with a smug smile on his face, y/n was as shocked as anyone and thanked Chris before calming herself. The last portion was a chat with Chris, Arthur and Cal. Y/N sat down saying hello again.

“So, you hit the bar, hit Arthur in the face, dropped your balls and you’re still here,” Cal started off the conversation.

“I know I can’t believe it!”

“He must really want to shag you,” Arthur added and the girl sat there open mouthed and Chris places his head in his head.

“Fuck sake,” the curly haired man uttered.

“I have had a shocker though, and I was late getting my application in. I must seem really scatty but I promise I’m organised,” y/n defended herself and Chris nodded.

“Give me some book recommendations,” Chris asked looking into y/n’s eyes. They were green with flakes of brown throughout, Chris loved how unique they looked.

“The ministry of time is a great escapism if that’s the kind of thing you’re looking for,”

“I am always looking to escape the intrusive thoughts,” Chris revealed and y/n couldn’t help but agree while feeling her heart a little.

“I get that too, but books are a great escape.” The talk they had wasn’t too humorous but it was deep and real and meaningful, as much as a five minute conversation could be. The final girls lines up, the three hosts looking over towards the two finalists. Chris had his hands clasped together as he faced the women.

“Well it’s been a fierce competition and you both did amazingly well but my winner and unfortunately a date with me is, y/n! congratulations!” Y/N smiled in shock and hugged her opponent. She ten made her way over to Chris and for the video they held hands and looked back towards the camera but both y/n and Chris felt a little thump when their hands intertwined. After the shoot y/n held back at Chris’s request, he had his phone in his hand and a sweet smile on his face.

“Thank you so much for coming. I know it was a video but if you did want to go on that date for real then I’ll be happy to,” Chris asked a little shaky. Y/N smiled and nodded.

“I’d love to.”

[soaringwide]

PAC: What is the current situation of this job and where is this leading you?

[ko-fi extended: What shift to make to improve your situation?]

PILE 1 > PILE 2 > PILE 3

In today's readings, I'm going to take a look at your current job situation, as well as where this is leading you.

In the ko-fi extended, I'll take a look at what shift you can do to improve your situation, and we'll see if it has to do staying in the same spot and do things a bit differently, or changing job or career altogether.

Keep your situation in mind when selecting a pile, and, as always, remember that this is a general reading meant for multiple people and that not everything might resonate, so take it or leave it and remember you are the one who makes the final decision.

If you like my style, feel free to check out my paid readings on ko-fi or the link bellow.

Link to part 2 extended on ko-fi.

book a reading ★ all PACs ★ pinned post ★ instagram

PILE 1 - Black Horse Head

Cards: Queen of Wands, 7 of Wands, Temperance, Forgive, the Moon, Strength, Love, Nurture, 5 of Swords, 6 of Pebtacles, 8 of Swords, Dreams, Let Go, Jealousy, the World, 6 of Cups, the Emperor, Slow Down, Trauma, Acceptance

Current job situation

This job represents a lot for you, in the sense that I can see that you had to struggle a lot to get where you are currently. This position didn't fall on your lap on its own, you had to fight for it, learn resilience and work towards it patiently day by day. It made you a very ambitious and driven person. I think this is also somewhat healing for you to be where you are, in the sense that you it's correcting the wrongs of your past. Perhaps you thought you would never achieve it, but then you did, and it makes you confident in your abilities and yourself in a way that you weren't before.

I think some days might be harder than others, some days you might need to compromise in order to keep the peace of the situation, be compassionate and see things from a wider perspective in order not to get caught into petty drama, but overall, I think the situation is pretty positive, although not perfect by any means. For one, I don't think your situation is perfect on the financial side of things, as I see a lack of signs for that for you right now, or perhaps it doesn't offer you enough ease or stability as you might need.

How does that make you feel

I think you enjoy what you're doing in this job and that it really makes you feel like you're growing skill-wise and nurturing yourself professionally. Perhaps it's giving you opportunities to do so, or perhaps simply the job itself pushes you to improve constantly due to the tasks and challenges you are facing. There is this idea that it's making you more refined and more experienced at tackling whatever you need to do at your current job.

However, there is something bubbling under the surface, and I'm getting the idea that you might fear stagnation at some point. You might be wondering if it's all you can do and if there is not something else that could help you grow even more. It might partly be a financial concern too. Perhaps you feel like you could earn more for what you do, or receive more success and recognition than you currently have.

What are you thinking about

Here it's quite interesting because while your feelings where pretty positive overall, you are thinking a lot more critically about this situation.

You think you are a bit stuck at the moment and can't see where things could go from here. It's like, yeah I'm here handling things amazingly, but what more is there for me? Am I giving more than what I receive? Am I getting the short hand of the stick and losing on some benefits? You're wondering if you should let go of this, comparing what you have to what others have and dreaming about what your life could be like in a different setting. It's creating some resentments and making you wonder if you should do something about your situation. It's also like after all you've fought, the dust has settled and now your fighting spirit is looking for the next battle, but going round in circles not knowing where or how to direct this drive, making you feel a bit caged in.

To be more clear, it's like yeah my situation is not too bad, but check what others have elsewhere and that I could get too, isn't that tempting? There is a hint of jealousy here, which is not necessarily a bad thing because it can be a powerful driving force, but yeah it does indicate a tendency to compare yourself to what you see around.

Where is this situation leading you?

There will definitely will be a point where a chapter will come to an end, and you will have to make a choice.

There is a desire for new financial and professional opportunities, the need to grow on that front and improve your conditions. But I think it's not a simple choice and that it will feel quite overwhelming and hard to make. I'm thing that could happen, is to take on more responsibilities, either with a higher role that gather more recognition, or a leadership position.

However, this will require some personal sacrifice on your part that you might not feel completely at ease to make and may be quite painful too. While that happens, you may start to feel like you want to focus on simpler things, a sweeter life that allows you to slow down and really appreciate the little things and rekindle with joyful times and a more carefree mindset. It's entirely possible that when this opportunity to climb up arise, so arise the doubts and the need to take things easy, so it will be complex to navigate.

In the extended for you Pile 1, I'll look at what shift you can make in your career to improve your situation. Head over here to see (membership needed).

PILE 2 - Orange Fiery Horse

Cards: The Moon, Creativity, 8 of Pentacles, Change, Queen of Wands, Sorrow rx, 9 of Swords, Love rx, 2 of Cups, Wheel of Fortune, King of Swords, 7 of Pentacles, Healing rx, Knight of Swords, Ace of Swords rx, the Fool, the Tower, King of Wands, Justice, Queen of Cups, the World rx, Knight of Cups, Protect your Feelings

Current situation

I can see that you're working hard, not only simply to do your job well, but also to sharpen your own skills in order to prepare you to expand professionally. I see you being drawn to changing something and throwing yourself in the work even more so that you are fully prepared when this time comes. You want your work to shine for you, to show what you're capable of, and transform your life as a ripple effect.

There was a time where you didn't feel confident in your abilities, you used to feel less-than, unworthy even, might have been a late bloomer professionally who took longer than others to find their stability. This was not an easy space to be in and created a lot of emotional and mental pain. I see that you've overcame that though and are now standing much more confident and optimistic. Yet this left a mark on you and I think, you still hold the shadow of your struggle close to your heart and I think you haven't totally left this shaky, survival mode totally.

Because you're currently quite confused about where this job or career is leading you. I think that for some of you, this career requires you to use your creativity in some way, and I see that you may be wondering whether your creative skills are best used here or perhaps are wasted a little bit. There is this idea that you might dim your creative light a bit when applying it to the tasks, working rather than creating. Would make sense if it talks about a creative job that is different from what an artist does. I think you're wondering if it's the right path.

This is making you doubt everything, seeing all that you are lacking, pressing on your old and current wounds. You might be falling out of love with what you do and this is causing immense pain, you might have trouble sleeping or a sleep schedule out of whack at the moment. You're thinking a lot about what is happening, what could go wrong, and above everything what is missing from your life. I really get a passionate, creative person who see things on a big scale and is feeling frustrated with the current situation.

What are you feeling

Here the idea of time and fate comes very strongly. It's like you've been waiting and waiting for your moment to shine to come, and you can feel things could take a turn soon. I think you desire to feel in tune with yourself and the world, to feel like what you do matters and help make the world a better and more harmonious place. Success is desirable but I don't think you're necessarily after that, it's more about meaning and purpose, passion and personal accomplishment here. You want to merge your soul with what you do, and you haven't been able to do that yet.

You have high goals and you know you can go after them, it's just that it's like it's behind a thick wall and I see you growing frustrated by how long it's taking. You're not an impatient person, on the contrary, you've proved time and time again that you were resilient and patient, going after your goals one by one, step by step, and harvesting what you could when it was time.

I also see that this feeling that things are about to shift feels like the last piece to your healing, which is currently a bit at a standstill due to your external circumstances. It's like you feel a bit stagnant, again waiting for an opportunity, anything to confirm what you feel inside.

What you're thinking about

Here, first, there is the thought that you need to do things now, that you can't wait anymore. There is a sense of urgency here and a restless energy making you look for something, anything to get out. A crack in the wall to pulverize and escape. However, there is a lack of clarity, and it's like you're splashing water, going round in circle in your head, hurrying without knowing what you're doing or where to direct your energy. You could be trapped in a vicious cycle of picking up projects and letting them go very regularly, because you feel this pull to do something and you follow the excitement, but then there is that lack of clarity regarding where to go with that so you drop it and jump onto the next thing.

You're also thinking that in order to reach that point where you can embark on that new journey towards your true passionate and unique path, you need to throw a big kick into what you currently have. You want a clean slate, you want to break free and be able to walk lighter towards something better. I can sense a lot of mental restlessness again, perhaps even some aggressiveness and desire to burn the bridge behind you. You're tired of feeling like a caged animal and I see you going on in grand discourse in your head about how you don't agree with this situation and how it's tying you up and how you're not meant to live that.

Where is this leading you

Okay so this section assumes that you're staying where you are.

In case you don't leave or change path, I see you taking on more responsibilities and challenges within you current role. Putting your foot down and asking to reposition what you do to do more of what you need and less of what you don't. Rebalancing things in a way, improving your situation while not making a drastic change. This would allow to sooth the tension a bit and allow you to expand in a way that you wish within the same role. Could also mean taking more of a leadership role for some of you.

However, I don't think it will solve anything on the emotional satisfaction side of thing. I think you will still get caught dreaming about what other amazing thing you could do and how that would make you feel so much more fulfilled. You may still feel like you're achieving nothing here, feeling stuck on a phase that you can't get past, still waiting for that turn of events. This may make things turn sour down the line, despite your efforts to ease the tension.

In the extended for you Pile 2, well take a look at how to shift things, especially when it comes about NOT stating where you are, and what it could look like and could bring you. Head over here to read it in my ko-fi memberships.

PILE 3 - Horse Couple

Cards: 2 of Pentacles, Ambition rx, Unknowing, 5 of Swords, Resentments rx, 9 of Wands, Overwhelmed, 10 of Pentacles, Anger rx, the Hanged Man rx, Anxiety rx, the Tower, Courage rx, 2 of Pentacles, Nurture, 7 of Wands, Relieved rx, 5 of Cups, Wounded Heart, the Star, Happiness, 7 of Cups, the Hierophant, the High Priestess

Current situation

Your current job situation seems very unstable in the sense that it seems to be the source of a lot of tensions, if not straight up full of conflicts, but also because you don't see how it could provide you with opportunities for personal growth. I want to say something like "it cut your wings", as if it rendered you unable to go after your dreams because you just had to follow that path in the past. You do know that things are possible, but the darkness you see is so thick that you can't pierce through it. And all the things happening at work make everything worse because it is so draining. You keep everything on the inside to stand strong in front of what is happening, but it's no use and it keeps bubbling up to the surface anyway. I can sense a lot of repressed anger, intense frustration due to the fact that you are currently unable to build something worthwhile for yourself. There is a glaring lack of positive feelings in your reading, as if they were all drained out. The only things remaining are the sharp words storming around you, the burns of the battle fought every day, and the shaky ground upon which you can't build anything.

What you're feeling about that

With the Hanged Man in reverse, I think you don't feel ready to leave though. You are scared to take a risk that could prove worse than your current situation, and even if you know that not trying anything will not result in any new opportunity, the fear of failure and rejection is keeping you stuck. I think you have trouble facing those fears and you're pushing them down, preferring staying in your comfort zone even if that means not changing anything. You feel things are about to go up in flames, or you already living it, but you'd rather see it through than moving before it's time. It's like you feel that as long as you're not facing a pile of ashes, you won't feel like it's time to move on, strangely.

What you're thinking about

I do feel that the thought of what lies ahead is present in your head though. The desire to plant a new seed somewhere else and tend to it. However you're still doing it in the rotten comfort of your current situation, hiding behind a wall of foggy plans where you don't have to take any actions because it's all in your head at the moment. You feel worried at the thought of getting out there and confronting the obstacles that will stand in your way. Perhaps even you're imagining them worse than what they could be, the worse possible scenario before you've even attempted anything. You focus on everything you would be loosing instead of seeing that you actually need to drop a lot of things off, that it might not be such a bad thing in the end considering your current situation, and that you are not actually losing everything, you still have a lot on your side. It's like a very anxious and neurotic attachment to your current circumstances. You know it's not good yet you feel like it's going to be the end of the world if you lose it, unable to imagine something else.

Where is this leading you

So if things stay as they are, I see you continuing this cycle of indecision, deluding yourself and refraining from making a choice, which in itself is a choice, you know, until things become so tense within you that you are forced in one direction. There is a choice to make though, and it's between two things:

One, keep playing by the rules, saving face and keeping up appearances in the hope of being granted what you deserve if you play the game right. Waiting for grace to finally be bestowed upon you, like a prayer answered. It has to do with following a structure, climbing the ladder or entering a contract or partnership of some kind. All within a well established structure that you are a part of. Finally being acknowledged by the system in place, being seen as deserving for doing things right.

Two, and this is triggering a lot of fears for you, a more solitary and twisted path. It would be about embracing your own inner guidance and spending time in your own darkness to learn from it. Lending a hear to what your soul is actually telling you. There is silence and solitude. The need to find your own path removed from the system.

So this is the choice where your current situation is leading you. In the ko fi exclusive extended, I'll look at what do you need to know to make that choice, and what you can do right now to shift things in your favor. Head over here to read.

[defrosted69]

MY Laker Star 3.5 (Huh Yunjin)

Okay this was a request from @dav1233555 that took way, WAY too long so sorry about that lol. also, this preety much answers what had happened why our mc went from Lesserafim to New Jeans

heads up, Its angsty enjoy

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Yunjin moved away from the window glass, watching the sight below her as her feet landed in the elevator. The elevator only kept her busy with her palm on the button because the stillness was so deafening. Her mind keeps replaying the memories till it deafens her. She repressed her tears, feeling the anger in her heart grow stronger. She had just watched her own happiness be chosen by someone else, and she didn't want to cry.

She was aware that all she was doing was convincing herself that your heart was with her. She wanted to think that there was love between you and her, therefore she disregarded the indicators that were in front of her face.

Perhaps there was once love between

Or was it just nostalgic love.

She hurried out of the elevator as soon as the door opened, not even caring that she was drawing stares. Her plate was already piled high with the issues facing both her own group and herself. Right now, all she needed was a safe haven where she could be herself without fear of judgment. However, there is a cost associated with celebrity.

She instinctively followed her legs to the women's restroom, where she noticed her own reflection. Her tears had dried up and formed their own consciousness, cascading down like waterfalls and making her wonder how much of her life she can still manage.

"Shit..."

The only term that could adequately characterize her current state of mind was a quiet growl. She got the impression that her life was being held back by her own transgressions, and that everything she had done up to that point had only made things worse. She was alone with herself, everything was going wrong, and it was suffocating.

Since everyone was against her, she had no one to turn to as her own barricade. There was that performance that everyone chose to pick apart and felt would shatter their self-esteem. Their defenses crumbled and their reputation was damaged. Even their own admirers doubt their ability to be idols. Everything went south after that, causing a ruckus throughout the Kpop business.

When they could not demonstrate why the Silver spoon should have been placed on an idol in the first place, people started to wonder what use it served. People started to wonder if the idols of this new generation had not experienced the same hardships as their predecessors in order to retain the motivation to keep improving and honing their profession. People started to wonder who created and who was merely handed the Silver spoons as more and more organizations appeared around..

As a performer herself, it was a major gut punch for her because, even though you are a performer, having your confidence in yourself undermined by being asked if you are truly one. It's exhausting to consider how many more people joined in to criticize you and how they nitpick all your mistakes.

While the fire was raging fiercely, they were placed on hold and forced into the basement to hide. Although their company made every effort to reduce the heat, the power of the media served as fuel to fan the flames. There are articles popping up everywhere, most of which have no connection whatsoever to the primary issue. And people change sides so quickly.

From loving them to turning against them.

From praising them to bad mouthing them. 

From being loved, to being hated. 

From their perspective, everything they do is flawed, and their words have lost significance. Nothing about them seems right to them. 

When Yunjin looked in the mirror, she could no longer see the girl who had such a deep love for both her followers and herself. Standing in front of the mirror served as a depressing reminder of the frail girl she really was—a girl who tries her hardest to improve but is never successful.

She opened the faucet and used water to clean her face, giving her hands a slight shudder. She detested seeing the shattered and sad girl in her reflection as he rubbed water over her face.

"Why... Why.. Why..."

She repeatedly cleansed and massaged her face, but no matter how many times she does so, nothing will be able to erase the anguish that is written all over her face because all she can do is let the tears fall. She can't get that grimace off her face no matter what she does. 

Making sure there would be no disturbance in this room, she wept quietly by herself in the restroom. She wanted to make sure that her personal issues didn't need to disturb others. Ultimately, this was her own issue to resolve.

She allowed her eyes to speak for a few minutes before covering her identity and the inner turmoil she was experiencing with a mask and baseball cap. She wanted to spend some alone time with herself, but as soon as she left the room, she observed that you and Haerin were holding hands and laughing joyously. 

Yunjin could tell you were happy with her because of the contented and cheerful smile on her face. Upon witnessing the person who brought her joy turn into someone else's happiness, her heart broke into a million pieces.

She feels so hurt by your happiness since it seems like all of your shared memories have vanished from her life. She hurried out of the building, looking down while clutching her headgear. She walked aside, her eyes containing another flood of tears as all she could see was the harsh concrete. She continues to feel so unwelcome in this world with every step she takes.

She did not realize it, though, that she had arrived at the park. The trees were gently swaying in the breeze. People chatting, laughing, and taking in their surroundings. She was undoubtedly in the city park.

She takes a seat beneath a wooden bench and closes her eyes, allowing her heart's story to be revealed by her recollections of the past. 

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FLASHBACK: A FEW MONTHS AGO

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"That's right Y/N. It's not just me who's in love with you..." 

As Yunjin was speaking, Kazuha was informed of his direct messages. Yunjin was already aware that she and the other members of her band had grown fond of you. particularly Kazuha. She was the first to express admiration for you, after all.

She therefore didn't want to seem conceited and ignore her friend and bandmate. Even if Kazuha is already in love with you, she preferred for her to give you a chance. She was open to letting Kazuha have fun while she was with you.  

Since everyone in her group outperformed her in every category, she was already coming to terms with the possibility that she would not even be chosen. Yunjin isn't as flexible or cute as Kazuha or Chaewon. Each of them has an incredible quality, such as her only being able to express her feelings for you in the past.

She called it a trader of nostalgia. Her only tool for winning you over is that, and even she admits that using such tactics was quite pitiful. However, all of her memories of you are in the past, and that's all she has to hold to.  

To her surprise, though, you quickly pierced her heart with a lightning bolt as you closed your phone and gripped her hand. Her pulse was pounding and swaying to the same tune—love—that she was unable to control. 

"Yunjin. I don't need anyone else but you." 

Yunjin was the happiest woman alive after hearing those words alone. She was living out her daydream. She never would have imagined that the story would become true. She wishes she could stop waking up if she was asleep and dreaming right now.

Nothing but herself could sense the love and real delight in her eyes. She was a young woman who was madly in love. She ran to put an end to her feelings and rushed to put her arm around you.  

"R-Really? You mean it?"

"Yes. I mean it." 

She had enough to rejoice over the realization of her dream with just few words. You chose to step back and offer her a smile that said a thousand words when you were both singing songs of love. And you observed that there was still some time left before nightfall and that the sky hadn't yet grown really dark.

So you set up your official date, hoping to see her grin even more and maintain it throughout the day.  

"Let's go on a date." 

"Eh? But it's getting dark and-" 

"Don't worry about it. I got this. After all, I want to see that smile of yours further Yunjin." 

Your remarks made her even redder, if she wasn't already. She was surprised to learn that your flirtatious behavior wasn't all bluster. She gains even more points because the guy she previously thought of had a flirtatious side.  

"Alright. Lead the way" 

You seized her hand and hurried across the crowded Los Angeles streets without even waiting a second. Yujin could only look at you because it seemed like everyone was commenting on the two of you.

It's been stated that when you're with someone you love, everything stops. It's been stated that when you love someone, everything else fades away and your attention is solely focused on them. 

That's what Yunjin was feeling right now. 

One youngster in particular sticks out among the throng of people; he was the one holding her hand and grinning lovingly at her. Yunjin experienced a feeling of being pampered like a princess, and everything seemed like something out of a fairytale.

Their feet stopped at a place you were both familiar with, laughing filling their ears. When they both walked into the restaurant, Yunjin's smile never faded.  

With you visible to the staff's eyes, they immediately all smiled as they know what they should know. 

"You seem known here Y/N." 

"It's my favorite go to restaurant. They make the best food around here in downtown LA." 

"I'll be the judge of that." 

The staff greeted you like you were one of their own employees, and you both laughed. She found that incident to be quite touching because it gave her the impression that you were loved and revered not only for your basketball prowess but also for your enormously compassionate heart.

She was happy that it was paying off since she knew you were always polite and that it was in your nature to be friends with everyone.  

She was a little uncomfortable to be asked who she was because she didn't know what to say. She was getting ready to be referred to as just a friend in front of everyone because she was still a little surprised that she was already your girlfriend. 

"She's my girlfriend." 

Well throw that out the window and call her beloved because with your announcement just made her land into the clouds of nine. Your smile only topped up her dreams as she wished to melt right now at the spot. 

And it continued further when the staff of the restaurant treated the place like their own world. They reserved a seat just for the two of them and even added candles to add to the romantic ambience. 

"They didn't have to go all out." 

"Trust me Jen, I didn't know it too." 

Their hearts were so satisfied with each other that they laughed together. Yunjin thought that everything was too good to be true, and she didn't want the day to end. However, it was evident from her indicators that today was indeed a great day.

She was reminded of their earlier days of simply enjoying each other's company while eating and conversing about uninteresting topics by the meal that was given to them. She appreciates the small things about you, and she's happy that they haven't changed over time. 

After dinner, there was just one more location to show her. You took her hand and led her to a spot overlooking the city without saying a word. a place you learned about while out on your own at night. There were innumerable evenings when you believed no one would ever understand you and you felt alone in the world.

Even though it was far from the city, the effort paid off because the view of the city was stunning and overwhelming once you two arrived. When Yunjin saw the splendor of the city at night, all she could do was softly gasp. The city felt livelier than it did when the sun was out, despite the time. 

"Yunjin. I hope that our hearts will be stringed together forever."

She started crying because she was unable to hold back her happiness when you spoke to her in a sincere and caring manner. She responded by giving you a hug, but all you could hear were muffled cries. Nevertheless, she was still able to speak.  

"I will. I promise to be with you.. Always... I love you" 

Truly it was a great love story that broke down many romance narrative. But that was pointed towards the past and not into the future. 

Because as time went on, our connection, which had previously blossomed, began to deteriorate every moment.

There wasn't even a hint of the smile you so desperately wanted to see on her face right now. It was like winning an award that was locked away.

Yunjin was likewise unable to locate the guy who gives her the feeling of freedom and love and keeps her up at night.  

It was as though a knot in the thread had suddenly become loose, and when they attempted to loop it up once more, it broke.

When their love for one another began to fade in their lives, they were completely unaware of it. That once-strong kindling of fire has faded, turning everything into a miserable ash that is useless on a cold winter's night.  

She found it painful to witness how everything went from being ideal to eventually becoming lost. Simply put, the gestures and spark had vanished. It hurt Yunjin especially since you weren't just a stranger standing in front of their sweetheart, who was simply a stranger they had formerly known.  

You were her friend. 

You were there all the time for her 

You were her wall when she leaped into her destiny. 

You were her once everything turned to nothing. That has completely broken her heart and undermined her self-esteem. And just when things weren't getting any worse, they did, for everyone in her group as well as for her.

That terrible performance was in no way a justification for how she feels about her intimate relationship. Her job as a performer was to take the stage and kill it. Rather, their supporters and detractors slaughtered them.  

This was supposed to be the perfect time to have your shoulder, your voice and your heart for her but where were you?

You were nowhere to be seen. 

She didn't want to get in touch with you because every game matters during the playoffs and you were in that stage. You still reach out to her even if she made the decision to keep her problems to herself. And once more her smile appeared.

But when the voice she was expecting didn't sound the same, it vanished. It had lost its loveliness. Rather, it was the concern-only voice of a friend. She realizes her partner is no longer with her. 

She shouldn't have held onto it for so long considering how long ago it vanished. She was grasping only air, no longer a rope of their affection. She couldn't have imagined losing you, which is why it was so upsetting to her.

It's because of you that she thought love was genuine. She had never experienced pure love this close to him, and she had it with you.  

Sadly, she also lost it to you. 

Because you loved her before she did, did she truly love you? Or did she just tell herself lies to make it seem and feel genuine?

You no longer made the effort or attempt to ignite the spark. You personally witnessed it. That Yunjin you saw and fell in love with then was a different Yunjin. No matter how much you wanted it to, your heart didn't scream her name. It disapproved of the notion.

In an instant, all that has transpired between you and the memories you both shared vanish in the same manner. The affection vanished. 

 

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. 

When Yunjin opened her eyes, she had no idea that the day was coming to a close and that the sky had turned orange. She shed a tear on her left, but didn't give it any attention because she had to go back to her room with her friends.

Her members was the one thing she could always count on, no matter what challenges she encountered.  

In their worst moments, they supported one another. She wouldn't be here at all if it weren't for their support, which enabled her to overcome her personal struggles. In another universe, there's a good chance she lost it and vanished from this world.

However, because she felt the love and concern from her members, it didn't happen in this universe. For her, the fact that they remained together at this difficult time was sufficient to enable her to go on and lead a fulfilling life. Although that might not be the perfect story for her, you know what they say.  

One door opens while another shuts. All you have to do is wait for them to show themselves.

Yunjin took a deep breath and turned to face whatever lay ahead of her. Why should she give up now that she has persevered this far? She moved backward into the arms of her members, whom she might joyfully refer to as..., a slight smile spreading across her face.

her home

. 

. 

. 

[on-my-vigilante-sht]

Moving on to You

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Summary: Aaron finally tells his longtime crush about his feelings when he almost loses her (Sequel to Move On)

Warning: jealousy, pining, awkward dates, canon level violence, non-accurate medical stuff

Word Count: 4.5K

Masterlist

A/N I've had this in my drafts for months and I finally decided to finish and publish it per request

Aaron Hotchner is the definition of levelheaded. He’s renowned in the FBI not only for his success rate at catching criminals but also for his professionalism. And snapping a pencil with his fist whilst staring at his subordinate through his office window as she smiled up at an unknown agent was incredibly unprofessional. He knew this wasn’t the first man she had gotten to know over the past year but this was the first time he was forced to actually witness her flirting with another man.

He knew he had no right to be jealous, their relationship had never progressed beyond friendly in the year that Y/N had been on the team. Still he couldn’t help but feel the slight clench of pain in his chest every time he saw her smile at her phone or overheard one of her conversations with another team member about a new guy.

Nonetheless his professionalism prevailed as he began to review potential cases. He noted one regarding a serial killer just outside of DC, setting it aside to pass onto Garcia.

~

The next morning the team was assembled in the conference room as Penelope relayed the information about a killer who had been targeting strippers. Although Aaron’s attention was on Y/N as he observed her clearly exhausted body language. Probably a date night with that agent, he thought cynically.

Soon enough Penelope was done speaking. “We’ll head out in 30. Meet in the garage then,” he ordered as the rest of the team. He was headed out towards his office when he stopped as he heard Morgan’s voice.

“Up late with the new boy toy?” Derek teased.

“I guess you could say that,” Y/N answered casually. “I’m not seeing him anymore.”

“Wait why?” JJ asked suddenly. Similar to what Aaron wanted to ask.

He was still turned away from the group but Aaron could practically hear Y/N’s shrug. “Just weren’t clicking anymore.”

“What was he into something weird? Like a foot fetish?” Derek asked with full seriousness.

Y/N laughed. “I’m not answering that.”

“So he was!” Derek shouted as she passed Aaron down to the bullpen.

The rest filed out of the conference room as Aaron continued to pretend to be busy with the file. “She’s single again,” Rossi sung quietly.

“I am aware and I don’t see how that affects me,” Aaron tried to deflect.

“Oh come on, I see the way you watch her. I also noticed a broken pencil in your trash can. Did you Hulk-out when you saw her with that agent yesterday?”

“Wait why were you in my office?”

“Doesn’t matter. The point is she’s single, you’re single, and you’ve been in love with her for the past year-”

“No I haven’t,” Aaron suddenly cut in, sounding like a teenage girl. He cleared his throat. “I’m not in love with her. Besides she’s my subordinate-”

“And you don’t want anyone to think she’s on the team for the wrong reason blah, blah, blah,” Rossi finished. “You said that a year ago. Besides, at this point, no one would think that. You deserve to be happy, Aaron. Get out there and get the girl!”

With those words Dave left, leaving Aaron in his thoughts. Could they actually be together? Would she even want him?

He pushed those thoughts aside, getting ready to head out with the rest of his team. Including the girl who consumed his every thought.

~

“I’m SSA Hotchner, these are SSAs Jareau, Morgan, Rossi, L/N, Prentiss, and Dr. Reid,” Aaron introduced his team to the town’s sheriff.

“We appreciate you guys coming so fast. The people here aren’t used to this type of crime,” Sheriff Osborne explained, leading the feds through the police station.

Aaron tried to listen to the sheriff’s information but rather he was keenly aware of all the police officers stares. Pushing through it, the agents followed the sheriff into a conference room that would serve as their setup.

“Alright, JJ and Reid, head to the medical examiner. We need to figure out what exactly he’s doing to these girls. Morgan and I will go to the clubs these girls were working, see if there was anyone who stuck out to the other dancers. Rossi and Prentiss, head to the most recent crime scene. L/N, I want you to work on the geographical profile,” Aaron ordered.

That last order raised an eyebrow for everyone on the team. “But… Reid usually does the geographical profile,” Y/N suggested gently, a confused twinge in her voice.

“Yes, well since it seems you can’t stop talking about your personal life I figured it’d be best if you work alone for a little while.” The second those words left Aaron’s mouth he instantly regretted them. Y/N looked taken aback by his rude words but having never questioned his authority she just lowered her gaze to the ground. Looking around the other members of his team looked aghast at his words too. Aaron’s soft spot for the newest agent had been noticed by everyone on the team (except of course the agent in question) so seeing him be so outrightly rude was jarring. He hadn’t meant to hurt her, especially not humiliate her in front of the team, but he was so frustrated having to hear the others question Y/N on her love life around the office and in the car.

Seeing that he shouldn’t continue barking orders, Aaron turned to exit the room, the rest following. Unseen by him was every member of the team giving Y/N sympathetic looks.

Once buckled inside their SUV, Morgan began to question his boss. “What was that with L/N back there? We all talk about our personal lives all the time and it’s never affected our work, Y/N included.”

Aaron sighed, really not having a good reason for his outburst. “She brought that agent into our office unauthorized. He shouldn’t have even had access to our floor.”

“So you yell at her a day later in front of an entire precinct?”

“Morgan, drop it,” Aaron said sternly, not wanting to continue this. Seeing as there was no point in continuing, Derek kept his mouth shut but the ride to the club was tense the rest of the way.

~

“Hey, sorry about your boss,” a voice interrupted Y/N’s intense concentration on the map in front of her. She whipped her head around to look at him, a little startled. Seeing her alarm the young officer took a step back. “Didn’t mean to scare you, just thought you might like some coffee.”

“Hmm? Oh! Thanks,” she said, her brain catching up to his words. She took the coffee gratefully, taking a sip. It was made wrong but not wanting to seem ungrateful she gave the officer a smile.

“Thought you could use it after your boss treated you so badly,” the officer empathized.

Y/N sucked in a breath. “You saw that, huh?”

“I think everyone saw it,” the officer chuckled awkwardly. “I’m Officer Olson, but you can call me Cole.” Y/N took a second to observe the man. He wasn’t necessarily her type, her having a thing for the dark, brooding types, but he was certainly attractive.

“Agent Y/N L/N,” she introduced.

“So what are you working on, Agent Y/N L/N?” he asked, saying her name flirtatiously.

She let out a small laugh at his tone. “Um it’s called a geographical profile. We take every significant location like homes, workplaces, abduction sights, crime scene, disposal sights, etc. to get an idea of these killers comfort zones. Which often leads us to where they will either strike next, where they live or work, or what their holding place might be in cases where victims are abducted.”

“Wow, this profiling stuff is crazy. I’ve heard you guys can tell someone’s entire life story from just one look,” he teased.

“I don’t know about that but yeah, you can learn a lot about a person from just a conversation if you pay close attention.”

“What can you tell about me?”

Y/N looked him up and down. His body language screamed that he was interested in her but she didn’t want to embarrass him too much. “You have the confidence of a youngest son and let me guess, you were in a frat in college?” The officer blushed, surprised she sussed that out so quickly. “You’re here as an officer for glory and you got it, the people here already admire you. You actually got the chance to move onto something bigger, probably DC, but it’s easier to stand out in your small hometown.” Cole just stared at the pretty FBI agent, slightly mortified that she saw through him so clearly. His first instinct was deny it but something about her made him think twice. She just smirked at his silence. “Gotcha.”

Before Officer Olson could say anything, two other FBI agents walked into the room. “Careful L/N,” Rossi interrupted the pair, “Hotch was pulling up as we walked in.”

“Guess I better go,” Cole said sheepishly. “Nice to meet you Agent Y/N.” She couldn’t help the smile that found it’s way onto her face at the use of her title and first name.

“Damn, already moving onto a different guy?” Emily asked with a chuckle.

“No, he just came in and introduced himself,” Y/N brushed off. Emily and Rossi both just hummed in disagreement.

As the BAU chief walked in he didn’t notice the burning gaze of Officer Olson. What he did notice was the way Y/N seemed to shy away from his very presence. As he stepped into the conference room his heart clenched when she met his gaze but just turned away, busying herself with the board that showed the geographical profile.

~

After a fitful night of regret, Aaron decided to apologize to his young agent in the morning. But as he opened his door to his crappy motel room into the crappy hallway he could hear two voices.

“Thought I’d bring you some coffee that didn’t come from an old police station coffee pot,” a masculine voice flirted.

“Thank you,” came the giggle from Y/N. Aaron practically groaned to himself. This couldn’t be happening again.

“I was wondering… if you’re not too busy,” the voice changed, gaining a nervous lilt, “if you’d like to get dinner with me on a slower night before you and your team leave? I know you’re actively chasing a serial killer so it doesn’t have to be fancy.” The voice seemed to have caught themselves, changing their pitch. “O-or it can be really fancy! Whatever you want! I’m not picky I-”

“I’d love to have dinner with you,” Y/N’s calming voice interrupted, putting the boy out of his misery. “We can do tonight. Just grab something easy and nearby.”

“Ye- yeah, I’d like that.” Aaron internally rolled his eyes at being able to hear the bright smile in this guy’s voice. “I’ll uh see you then.”

“See you later.” Aaron sighed internally, hearing the door to Y/N’s room close softly. She had been single for what? 24hours? And he had still lost his opportunity? Deciding that his emotions were running too high to talk to Y/N right now, he just let his door fall back closed, deciding to just get ready for the day.

~

“When I graduated from the FBI academy I was placed in the Human Resources branch because of my psych degree. Obviously, that wasn’t exactly what I wanted to do so when I heard about an opening in the Behavioral Analysis Unit I jumped at it and fortunately my boss, Hotch, was willing to take a chance on me. Agent Rossi and the rest of the team pretty much taught me everything I know,” Y/N explained as her date stared at her in awe.

“Wow, that’s quite the resume you have,” he chuckled nervously, taking a sip of his drink. “I’ll admit it’s been a long time since I went on a date where the girl’s career was more impressive.” Y/N quirked her eyebrow at that but didn’t say anything. “Not that it’s an issue, just not a lot going on around here.”

She just hummed looking down at her food. She tried to covertly push away the peas in her food, not wanting to insult Cole’s food choice.

There was an awkward beat of silence between the two that was fortunately broken up by Y/N’s phone ringing. She felt a sense of relief reading her boss’ name flash across the screen. “Hey Hotch,” she answered.

“L/N, where are you?” his stern voice cut to the chase.

“Um, this place called Vincent's with Officer Olson. It’s like 15 minutes from the station. Why?”

Aaron pushed through the reoccurring pang in his chest. “Some other officers cornered our unsub, James Stevens, in a strip club. He’s holding five girls hostage inside.”

“Where is it?”

“125 North St. 5 minutes east of you.”

“I’ll be right over,” Y/N quickly cut in.

“L/N, do not engage before the rest of us get there. Got it?”

“Yeah, I understand,” she agreed begrudgingly. She hung up the phone, already collecting her things. “I have to go, the unsub is holding a group of girls hostage inside a club 5 minutes from here.”

“Oh shit,” Cole exclaimed, grabbing his things and leaving some cash on the table. The pair quickly jumped into their respective cars, lights and sirens blaring as they headed to the club.

As soon as Y/N jumped out of the SUV several officers flocked towards her. “Scene is yours agent, what do you want to do?” Sheriff Osborne asked.

“Any shots fired? Do we have confirmation the girls are alive?”

“Snipers have eyes on three of the girls and we have no reason to believe the other two are dead. Upon entering he fired randomly, killing a few patrons per witnesses. Thing is, when he took control he let every man leave but held all the girls.”

“Okay,” she acknowledged, trying to figure out what her next move would be. Based on the profile she knew he was negotiable but if he felt any sort of threat he’d go down guns blazing, taking down anyone he could. “I’m going in to talk to him.”

“I can’t let you do that,” Cole’s voice suddenly interrupted. He had grabbed Y/N’s arm, looking at her with pleading eyes. She just stared at him, confused before sliding her arm out of his grip.

“Agent, shouldn’t you wait for your team?” The sheriff’s voice interrupted the awkward encounter.

“This guy’s going to get more agitated and unstable the longer we wait. I’m going in now,” she said, pulling the gun out of her waistband and handing it to the sheriff. “And don’t let anyone in there until I call for it. We could lose a lot of lives if we spook this guy.”

The sheriff nodded as she approached the door.

~

“Agent L/N is entering the building,” crackled over the radio as Hotch and the rest of the team raced through the streets.

“What?” Aaron’s mind was going a mile a minute. “Repeat that,” he called over the radio.

“Agent L/N has entered the building to begin negotiations,” the police reporter called over the radio again.

Derek stared at the radio in shock from the passenger seat. “Hotch-” he began, wanting to slam his foot on the gas.

“I know,” he said, already pressing the car to go faster than they had been going previously.

They arrived on scene in record time, Hotch barely taking the time to throw the car in park. He was immediately heading for the door, not bothering to get all the information he would normally wait for, too set on getting the woman he was in love with out. “Stop him!” he heard a sudden shout. Several officers flocked to him in an effort to block his path. Whirling around furiously he found a desperate looking sheriff. “Agent L/N said that if anyone goes in there a lot of lives will be lost. And I’m guessing your agent would be one of them.”

Aaron wanted to pull rank and argue but he knew the sheriff was right but he was desperate to get his agent out of there safely.

“I tried to stop her,” an officer interrupted. Aaron recognized the voice from the hallway. All he could muster was an annoyed look before turning his attention back to the sheriff.

“Do we have a line of communication?”

“Yeah, we have Stevens on the phone. No one’s talked in a while though, we’ve just been listening to your agent try to calm him down.”

Soon enough the BAU chief had the phone. “Agent L/N, exit the building, that’s an order.”

It took a second but he got a shaky, “Not gonna happen, Hotch.”

“L/N-”

“You heard the lady,” a new voice cut him off. James Stevens. “She doesn’t want to leave yet. C’mon, let me keep her for a little while longer?” he pleaded sarcastically. “The pretty girls rarely keep their clothes on nowadays. Agent L/N is a breath of fresh air.”

Aaron clenched his jaw at his words. “We can work something out James.” Covering the microphone he leaned over to one of the officers. “Tell the snipers to take the shot of they get it,” he whispered.

“Come on you know there’s no walking out of this a free man, just let us walk out and we’ll talk this out,” he heard Y/N’s voice. There was a minute of silence and Aaron could only imagine what the psychopath inside was doing. “At least let the girls go. I’ll stay, I’ll be your collateral.”

“Agen-” Aaron immediately began to reprimand.

“Shut up!” James shrieked through the phone so loud Aaron had to pull it away. “Fine,” he heard more quietly. “You five, go! You stay.”

Once again Aaron covered the microphone. “As they’re coming out, go.”

~

All the girls started immediately scrambling up, heading for the door. It happened so fast there was hardly time to register it.

The first girl reached the door, wrenching it open. She was immediately met with a wall of SWAT officers. They pressed inside, guns up as the girls shrieked and scrambled away. “No!” Y/N heard herself shout, going towards them. Mistaking her attempt to salvage the situation as an effort to escape, Stevens was on her in a second.

She felt a sharp pain pierce her abdomen as he tackled her to the ground. She then felt him slump against her before being quickly pushed off, a SWAT officer kneeling over her, calling for a medic.

~

“Agent down, agent down,” Aaron heard the report come over the radio. He was immediately tearing away from the phone, running towards the entrance of the club. But Rossi intercepted him before he could go inside.

“I know, I know, I heard,” Dave tried to calm down his friend. “But EMTs just went in and you don’t need to be in the way.” Aaron began to protest but was cut off again. “I know it’s hard to watch the woman you love be hurt again but Y/N will be fine.”

Before Aaron could continue arguing he caught sight of Y/N being rolled out on a gurney. Dave let him go as he followed the EMTs to the ambulance. But before he could climb in the same officer from earlier ran up. “I-I’m her boyfriend,” he explained as he tried to climb up into the ambulance.

With those words Aaron nearly snapped. Despite his insecurity in his place in Y/N’s life, he knew that was a complete fallacy. She would never move that fast with a complete stranger. “Officer,” he caught the young man’s attention.

Cole visibly paled seeing Y/N’s boss. “A-agent Hotchner.”

Satisfied with the boy’s scared shitless expression, Aaron turned back to the EMT’s. “SSA Aaron Hotchner,” he introduced, pulling out his badge. “This is my agent and I will be accompanying her to the hospital.” And with that, he sent Officer Olson one last glare before climbing in.

Upon entering the ambulance the EMT stepped out, shutting the doors. As he took a seat, he realized his agent was still awake, albeit in agony. “Y/N? I’m right here,” he said, taking her blood soaked hand. Her shirt had been removed, allowing him to see the stab wound that had been tightly wrapped with blood soaked bandages. “I’m so sorry.”

“Not your fault, Aaron,” she said through gritted teeth, her face twisted in pain as they hit a bump in the road. “I’m so cold an-and tired.”

He couldn’t help but notice the way she said his first name. It was refreshing, almost a relief, to hear his name come from her lips. “Hey, no just stay awake for a little while longer. We’re almost to the hospital.” Y/N just nodded, tears of pain and fear running down her cheeks.

“Why’d you come?” she suddenly asked. “I thought you hated me.”

It physically pained Aaron to hear that. “I’m so sorry I’ve been treating you the way I have on this case. I just couldn’t help but…” Aaron hesitated with the next words. He didn’t want to be vulnerable but she deserved the truth. “…be jealous.”

That took Y/N’s mind off of the pain. “Jealous?”

Aaron hung his head. “Yes, I-I’ve had feelings for you ever since you joined. I understand if you want to take some time away after this or even transfer to another team of your choice. I just thought you were owed an explanation for my behavior.”

“Y-you’ve had feelings for me for that long?”

Aaron squeezed her hand again. “Please don’t make me say it,” he asked but inside, he’d humiliate himself a million times to make up for what he did and earn her affection.

“Just this once,” she requested, tears pricking her eyes, whether from pain or emotion. “I need to be sure it’s not the blood loss.”

Aaron sighed softly, admiring her face. “I’m in love with you. I’ve loved you for the last year.”

“I’ve felt the same about you,” she confessed.

“Say it,” Aaron pressed, his other hand now clutching onto their already joined hands.

“I love you, Aaron.”

A smile tugged at Aaron’s lips. He hadn’t realized how much tension had gathered and with Y/N’s confession it all dispersed. Reaching a hand up to her face he cupped her cheek, tangling his fingertips into her hair. “You’re gonna be okay,” Aaron promised. “You have to be okay.” But he could see her eyes slipping closed and he could feel how clammy her skin was. “You gotta stay awake, sweetheart. C’mon.”

“It hurts,” she groaned through half closed lids.

“I know, you’re almost there.”

~

It took a few hours of surgery and another couple days of rest in the hospital but Agent L/N was finally discharged to go home. Unfortunately, she had to have a caretaker for that period of time. Fortunately, her boss/the man who was in love with her, was more than happy to take responsibility for his agent.

“Almost there,” Aaron tried to soothe a very tired and pained Y/N. Taking a few deep breaths, she found the strength to hobble over to her bed with a lot of support from Aaron.

She let out a groan as Aaron helped settle her on the bed. As he gripped her hand, he couldn’t help but see flashes of blood, remembering that night in the ambulance. “I’m gonna grab your bag from the car. Be right back,” Aaron promised with a peck to her lips.

While grabbing her bag was a legitimate excuse, he really just needed a minute to calm himself down. He needed to remember that Y/N was safe, not lying on a surgical table or in the back of an ambulance bleeding out.

He quickly hurried back into her apartment after grabbing her bag, re-entering the bedroom. “Here you are,” Aaron said, leaning the go-bag up against her dresser which was placed next to the bed. “I guess I’ll um let you rest,” he murmured out awkwardly. As much as he’d rather stay over she probably wanted some time to relax. “Call me if you need anything.”

“Aaron,” her voice interrupted him as he turned towards the door. Pivoting on his heel, he looked back at her. “Can you… um… just stick around for a little while? Every time I closed my eyes when I was alone in the hospital all I could see was him.”

That surprised Aaron a bit but it felt as if his entire being melted. She wanted him to protect her?

“Yeah, of course,” he agreed. There was no place in her bedroom to sit so he settled on the end of the bed. “‘M glad you feel safe with me,” he murmured.

“I do,” she confirmed. “You’re like my personal bodyguard,” she said, recalling memories of him barking orders at doctors when she was in pain or when annoying officers came to visit.

“I’m glad,” he smiled. He helped her settle into a lying position before resuming his place at the foot of the bed, regretfully letting out a yawn. After all, being a personal bodyguard was exhausting.

She noticed his yawn and immediately began demanding he lie down too. “You’ve been up helping me for days. Help me by sleeping now, please.”

“I really don’t want to intrude,” Aaron excused. “You don’t need me accidentally hurting you.”

“You won’t,” she swore. “Please. I’ll feel better knowing you’re resting too.”

Sleeping with her did sound nice. An irrational part of him thinking he could keep her nightmares away by doing so. So he complied, sliding under the covers she had pulled back for him. As he settled, she scooted closer to him as much as her surgical wounds would allow. Until she ended up tucked under his arm, head resting on his shoulder.

“Sleep,” he murmured the order, thumb stroking her cheekbone. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Masterlist

[m1lflov3rrr]

Can’t Help Falling in Love (With You, Over and Over Again)

Pairing: Larissa Weems x fem!reader

Warnings: none, just heartwarming fluff <3

Word count: 1.4k

Summary: You were away for a year, and thought you’d surprise your wife at the night of the Rave’n…

A/N: Hello loves, so so sorry for being inactive!! I’ve been very busy with school, but I am writing one of your requests at the moment :))

You were nervous, to say the least. 

It had been exactly one year since you saw her. 

Let us rewind a bit, shall we? 

You had been together with your wife, the formidable Larissa Weems, for 8 years. And tonight was the night of your anniversary, when you got engaged. It was on this day, exactly 9 years ago that she had asked to marry you. The night of the Rave’n dance. You weren’t surprised that she had chosen this specific event for the proposal, you knew how close to Larissa’s heart the Rave’n was. You found it to be the most adorable thing ever. 

And tonight was the night of the Rave’n, once again. 

You had started your own business a few years ago, a law firm. And last year it had gained an unexpectable amount of success, so much so that you had to leave her and expand the business across the country in California. 

Obviously she couldn’t have come with you, she had a school to run. 

You were glad of how supportive and understanding Larissa was, and even though she tried to keep a strong façade and pretend like she’s okay with you leaving for such a long time, you could see right through her. You knew how much your absence affected her. It sure as hell did affect you. 

But every day, you both made time in your schedules for a video call. Twice a day, every morning, every night. Asking how your days had been, updating each other on the latest events. 

And you made that system work. Although the distance was gnawing at you both, you somehow managed to make it work. 

Your business had expanded three times bigger during your stay in California, and when you finally were informed by your assistant that everything was organized for your stay to be over, that you had enough employees and that the business was thriving, you immediately booked a flight back home. 

And it was perfect, actually. You wanted to surprise her, and the Rave’n was the perfect place to do it. (And also, you couldn’t help but love dramatic entrances, as well.) 

You were sitting on the taxi, on the phone with your dear friend and your wife’s co-worker, Marilyn. You wanted to make sure everything was perfect for tonight. 

You did keep in contact with her frequently as well, asking her updates on her life, (and also asking her how Larissa’s doing, since she was pretending to be all fine when talking to you). 

Marilyn had told you, how lately the usually most modest, organized and practical woman had been more snappy and stressed than usual. And she didn’t have any extra workloads or anything, so you knew it was because of you. Because lately, you had been so busy that you were only able to call her once a day. 

It didn’t seem like a big thing or anything, surely she wouldn’t be affected by such a small change? Wrong. 

Larissa was definitely affected by it. She always had to be in order, having things to go her way and sticking to her schedule, that such a small change did, in fact, take a huge toll on her. And you felt incredibly bad about it. 

Last year, you had left the day after the Rave’n. You wanted to stay for that night, to make your last night there unforgettable. And it was only so ironic and fitting that you were coming back the exact day, tonight. And Larissa knew nothing of it. That was the best part. You loved making surprises. 

And tonight would make the greatest surprise of all. 

-

”And you’re sure she has no idea?” You asked Marilyn as you were checking yourself out on the mirror. You were in her private quarters getting ready with the redhead. 

You had a gorgeous silk gown on you that was definitely accentuating every curve on your body, paired with matching high stilettos. 

(Or, imagine your own!)

When you saw the dress on one of your shopping trips, you knew it’d be perfect for tonight. The dress was expensive, but with your now-high salary, it really didn’t matter. It was graceful, but still left little to the imagination with an open back and its tight, but comfortable fit. 

”Trust me, Y/N, the woman’s clueless. She was literally venting on me yesterday about having to spend the Rave’n completely alone. You have no idea how hard it was for me to just not spill the plan right there and then.” The redhead responded as she was putting on her black, gem earrings. 

You smiled, feeling those nervous butterflies in your stomach about what was going to happen very soon now. 

”Good.” 

”Okay, the dance starts in 15, and I have to be there early to greet the students at the entrance. You know what to do, right?” She asked as she slid on her striking red boots. 

You nodded, smiling thankfully at her in the mirror as she picked up her purse and waved you goodbye before rushing out the door. 

This was going to be one hell of a night. 

-

And before you knew it, you were standing at the entrance, waiting for your call. 

You had planned everything out perfectly. The very same song that played on the night she proposed, would start playing any moment now, and then you’d enter the venue. 

And then, sooner than you thought, that beautiful piano melody began enchanting your whole being as the doors opened. 

Wise men say…

Larissa, who was standing in the middle of the venue, frowned as she heard the music - it sounded vaguely familiar. She soon recognized it and smiled at herself, maybe a bit sentimentally, being reminded of your absence. (Or so she thought.) 

She had really been struggling lately, missing you. You were her everything, her world, her whole being. She simply didn’t know how long she could survive without you anymore, she thought she’d burst with how much she just needed you in her arms at this moment. 

Only fools rush in…

You nervously walked inside, scanning the room with your eyes. Many people were already looking at you, in awe and in surprise. They didn’t know either that the principal’s wife would make it here tonight. 

The children had grown to love you over the years as you naturally hung out a lot at the Academy. 

Several gasps could be heard across the room, causing Larissa’s attention to divert to the doors. 

And she saw you. 

And her entire world froze. 

But I can’t help…

Was she dreaming? Did she have a fever? Was she really missing you that much that she had started seeing things? Imagining things? 

But her racing thoughts were interrupted as you gracefully walked over to her, cupping her cheeks with your hands. 

”Hello, my love.” 

And at hearing your voice, feeling your touch, she realized that it was all real. That you were real. 

You saw how her eyes began glistening with unshed tears, and an almost inaudible sound, barely above a whisper came out from her lips; 

”Darling…” 

Falling in love with you. 

And her hands practically flew to the back of your neck, pulling you close and connecting your lips after all this time. 

And it was so magical, and the whole room had their eyes on you. Everything was perfect. 

You smiled in content against her lips, glad to be home again. 

”I missed you so much, Rissa. You have no idea. May I have this dance?” You whispered, watching how a single tear was running down her cheek. You wiped it away with your thumb as you placed another loving kiss on her lips. 

And your wife seemed to still be so incredibly shocked, that all she could mutter out was a rushed; ”Always.” 

Oh, take my hand… 

She pulled you into the warmest hug you’d ever been in as you began swaying to the music, everyone else in the room gathered in a large circle around you two, admiring your moment and the unconditional love that was now felt by everyone in the dance. 

Take my whole life too…

Larissa buried her face in your neck, breathing in your familiar scent and sighing with relief, you were at last, back where you were supposed to be. In her arms. 

”Don’t you ever leave me for that long again.” She whispered to your ear, causing you to grin widely as you turned your gaze to meet hers. 

For I can’t help… 

”I wouldn’t dream of it. I’ll never, ever leave you again. Cross my heart.” You whispered back, sealing it with a kiss. 

Falling in love with you. 

[maryonaccross]

Although team green is constantly being framed as the conservative and oppressive religious group it’s interesting how the political statements the characters make speak the absolute opposite.

From “the realm will not accept her” - Otto Hightower, to “out coffers are deep but not endless” and “a true queen counts the coat to her people” - Alicent Hightower, team green characters are the only ones that consistently mention the citizens of Westeros as people to consider at all in political decisions. 

On the other hand TB characters like Viserys never once voice concern over how the decision to name his daughter heir instead of his sons will be perceived by the people ( and never do anything to ensure that it is well perceived ) because he simply does not care. Rhaenyra herself dismisses the idea with “ it doesn’t matter what they think” and clings to this belief more and more as time goes by by refusing to make political alliances with noble houses that would benefit her future rule and even goes as far as to usurp house Velayon with her illegitimate children.

Rhaenyra’s other political statement; “ when I am queen, I will create a new order “ sounded quite impressing and promising watching the show for the first time, however, upon finishing the show, it becomes clear that the order she means to create is simply one where she is above the law and can do as she pleases. It clearly isn’t an order that will give women more rights and power within Westeros as we see her refusing Beala in Rheana their right to Driftmark and explicitly saying that Jace and Baela’s SON will be king. 

TB’s dictator like attitude becomes even more visible in the way that they treat other noble houses. While the greens try to solve the Driftmark succession via a court procession where Vaemond AND Rhaenyra were allowed to speak their turn the blacks solve the conflict by beheading the man defending his family’s rights. Sending a clear message that anyone who opposes them will be silenced the same way. 

This feeling of complete superiority and being above the law is also visible in the way team black and team green allow their children/ younger family members to interact with other people. While Rhaenyra heavily imprints the idea that her children can do no wrong onto them (even when they maim a relative) and never disciplines them for their actions we see Alicent denounce Aegon as her son after hearing what Dyana told her (needless to say Rhaenyra never would have interacted with someone like Dyana who claimed to have been wronged by her sons and probably would have found a way to blame her for it)

The green fraction is also the one that follows the faith of the seven (the religion the other noble houses in the south follow) which automatically makes them closer to the people in comparison to TB that holds on to a religion most of their subjects do not subscribe to.

[farity]

In friendship

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x reader

Summary:  Aemond’s taken you for granted until rumors of your betrothal to another begin to swirl

.

“My lady, to what do I owe the honor of your company?”

You smiled at the tall, handsome prince, dressed in black as always.  “Prince Aemond,” you were pleasantly surprised at finding him here in the library although to be honest, you had hoped he would be.  “I am researching the architecture of Flea Bottom since I am forbidden to go in person.”

“Ah.”  He placed a marker in his book and left it on one of the tables before walking toward one of the bookcases.  “I believe you can find what you are looking for right here.”

You smiled to yourself.  Oh yes, what I want is here, right before my eyes.

He reached up to grab a volume and brought it back down.  “Hmmm.  This is only the story of one of the builders.  I suppose you want detailed descriptions?”

“Yes, I’d like to do some illustrations.”

The shelf he’d plucked the book from was too high for you, so you slid the small stepstool over and the prince put out his hand to help you climb atop it.  His hand, so much bigger than yours, was warm, and you let go of it reluctantly once you were higher up.  You turned to find yourself staring down at him, the candle light making his pale hair glow like a halo.

“It’s not often I find myself looking up at you,” he murmured.  “You have a smudge, charcoal, maybe.”  He indicated the spot on his own face and you immediately brushed the back of your hand over it, but when you pulled your hand away, he shook his head.  “Let me.”

He reached out to brush the offending mark himself, brushing his fingertips lightly over your cheek, and then turned his hand so it was his knuckles now sliding down the side of your face.  

You held your breath.

You’d known Prince Aemond most of your life.  Your mother was a friend of his mother, you were only a year older than him, and were used to casual touches.  He’d offer you his arm as you walked around the keep, or you’d grab his hand in order to climb a fence.  You’d been there for him when he lost his eye and you considered him the person you were closest to other than your mother and your sister.  Spending time with him was always a highlight of your day, and as you’d both grown older, you’d felt the friendship change a little.  You’d caught him looking at you at times, and when you walked arm in arm with him these days, you were very aware of him next to you.

Your mother knew of your evolving feelings for him, and you hoped that someday she might speak to queen Alicent to work a betrothal between you two.  

He was looking at your parted lips, hand still on your face.  “My lady,” he whispered, moving just a little closer.  You inhaled the leather and spices scent of him, felt the cool peppermint of his breath on your jaw.  

“My prince.”  Your voice was a mere rush of air as you caught the look in his eye as it met yours.  There was hunger there, raw and powerful, and the next thing you knew he had stepped back.

“I wish you success in finding what you seek.”

He left you there, and for a few moments you were stunned.  He’d been about to kiss you, you were sure of it.  The sudden change in his demeanor left you hollow, and you stood there, wondering what had happened.

* * * * * 

The next day you were sitting in the gardens, absently staring at the same page you’d been looking at for the last hour without understanding a single word.

You covered your mouth as you yawned, exhausted from spending the entire night reliving every second of those few moments with Aemond.  What had happened?  What had gone wrong?

“Daughter.”

You jumped at your mother’s voice, almost dropping the book you held.

“I’ve called you three times, my darling.”

You turned to see your mother, smiling kindly at you.  

“I am sorry, lady mother, I was lost in my book.”  You joined her, and she kissed your cheek before taking your arm.  

“Darling daughter, there are wondrous news,” she said gently.  “It is a great day for our family.”

Was this it?  Had she spoken to the dowager queen?

“What news, mother?”

“You are to be married . . . “

Your heart soared and you sighed.  Everything would be set right.  You and Aemond were to be married.  Your greatest desire was about to come true.

“ . . . to Lord Cregan Stark.”

* * * * * 

You headed to the library to return the book, but when you saw Aemond sitting by the fireplace you nearly turned around.  He had seen you, however, so you steeled yourself and walked in.

“Prince Aemond.”

He turned, and you saw he had removed his eyepatch.  You had seen him plenty of times without it, one of the few people allowed that privilege -

as if it meant anything

- but the fire in the blue gemstone he wore paled in comparison to the one in his eye.  

“I am told that congratulations are in order, my lady,” he said, his tone emotionless.

“I’m only here to return this book,” you said wearily.  

He stood and held out his hand.  You gave him the book, careful to not touch him, and he walked to the bookshelf to return it to its usual place.

You turned to leave and found yourself pressed against the bookcase, the prince holding your wrists.  "Are you looking forward to meeting your betrothed, my lady?”

You tried to push him away but he barely moved, easily holding you in place.  “I do not have time for this, Prince Aemond.  I need to go.”  You didn’t look at him, simply wanting to go to the peace and quiet of your rooms.

He stepped closer, the heat of his body enveloping you.  He lowered his face to yours, whispering in your ear.  “Are you looking forward to the bedding?  To him planting a babe in your belly?”

You had tried.  The feel of him pressed against you, the scent of him, the silk of his hair as it brushed your cheek, you had tried to get away.  It was all too much and you suddenly pushed him back, startling him.  “And why in the seven hells do you care?”

Aemond opened his mouth, but you continued.  “Why do you care, my prince?  We are nothing to each other but childhood friends, is that not the case?  Why the sudden interest in the delights of my marriage bed?”

He lunged at you, one hand cupping your face, the other against the bookcase, effectively trapping you there.  He was so close, his nose against your cheek, his mouth but an inch from yours.  If you turned ever so slightly, your lips would touch his.  “Tell me, childhood friend, when you spread your legs for him, will you think of me?”

You shivered at the words, at his venomous tone.  “I might,” you spat back, “but it will be his name I sigh.”

Aemond pulled back as if you’d slapped him, eye wild with fury.  

It wasn’t enough.  You wanted blood now.

Raising your face, you whispered, “oh Cregan.  Oh Cregan!”

You saw the moment he snapped, the moment that wall he so carefully kept around himself collapsed, and briefly wondered if you’d gone too far.  

The answer was swift and punishing, and before you knew it, he’d hauled you against him, mouth devouring yours.  One of his hands held your head in place, his long fingers grabbing the tidy knot of your hair painfully, but you didn’t care.  Here was victory, here was fire, and you kissed him back, your own hands delving underneath his tunic to feel the muscles beneath.  

When he lifted you in his arms you quickly wrapped your legs around him, letting him walk you somewhere, you cared not where.  Pulling away from his mouth, you began kissing and biting his neck, sucking on the pale skin until his breathing hitched and he stumbled, crashing against the wall before continuing.  

You were now in his bedchamber, and when he placed you on his bed, you began pulling at the laces on his tunic, the ties of his breeches.  He pulled the tunic over his head, throwing it aside before pulling out his dagger and slashing through the ties on your bodice.  Some other day you might have worried about it.  Some other day you might have said something.

He bared you completely, the hunger in his eye flashing in the dim lighting of the room.  “Mine,” he whispered before shoving your thighs apart.  “Say it.”

Nodding, you complied, “yours.  As you are mine.”  The silver silk of his hair fell like curtains shielding your face from everything else, and he kissed you as he began pushing inside you.

For a moment you wondered if this would work, he felt so big, but he took his time, letting your body adjust to this new invasion.  “You feel so fucking good,” he said, desperately trying to go slowly so he wouldn’t hurt you.  

“I’ve always been yours,” you whispered as you reached up for him.  “Take me and make it true.”

With a groan, he snapped his hips, tearing through your maidenhead and seating himself fully inside you.  The pain was sharp and you cried out, your vision blurring for a moment.  Aemond stayed still, his only movement that of nuzzling your cheek.  “Mine,” he repeated softly, over and over.

You pulled his mouth to yours, and rolled your hips experimentally.  The pain was almost all gone, and you did it again, smiling when he moaned against your lips.  He pulled back slowly, “please,” he said desperately, “stop.  I can’t, I can’t-” but when you moved a third time, he gasped and began pumping his hips against you, his breathing fast and hard as he filled you completely.  He reached down and began to swirl his fingertips on the slick bundle of nerves between your legs, dragging a ragged whimper from you.

The coil low in your belly was tightening with every snap of his hips, every turn of his fingertips.  You had touched yourself before, but this, this claiming, the feel of him within you, the heat of him against you, the smell of his skin, this was new, and overwhelming your every sense.  

“Come for me,” he said, “I want to see you fall apart.”  He ran his teeth alongside your jaw and someone screamed as the coil snapped inside you, sharp tendrils of pleasure tearing through you.  You vaguely felt his body go taut as he groaned and then collapsed against you.

* * * * * 

He had a servant tell your mother you were spending the night in Helaena’s chambers.  You had done so before, whenever the princess was in need of a friend to listen to her.  

“I have been a fool, pretending I did not care for you.”  He kissed your lips so gently and tenderly, you almost wished that had been your first kiss.  

“Why did you?” you asked.  “Why did you pretend you did not care for me?”

He let out a breath.  “Because you deserve better than me.”  His voice broke on the last word, and he swallowed.  

Reaching up to touch his cheek, you smiled at him.  “Better than a fine warrior, a learned man, a loyal son?” you whispered, “a cherished friend?”

“I have been less of a friend than you deserve.”

“Aemond, I could not ask for more than you.  You are everything to me,” you added.

He leaned down to kiss you again.  “As you are to me.” He met your gaze and you saw the tears in his eye.  “I love you.  I think I always have.”  He pulled you to his side, kissing your forehead.  “Tomorrow I will speak to my mother about your betrothal.”