#bc i see it and automatically think the person doing it has to be in middle school
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
puppppppppy · 6 months ago
Text
learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way
#experiencing some BIG FEELINGS OVER THIS REVELATION#listen i have never ever been bothered abt not seeing someone in a while or making time to talk to them bc in my mind its like not thst muc#time has passed. i mean it with every fibre of my being that when im like 'oh its ok even though we havent talked in a while and have our#own things going on it doesnt mean we're not friends anymore since we left things on a good note 8 months ago' i sincerely believe that#and for the longest time i just thought everybody makes peace with it at some point and not automatically assuming the other person doesnt#wanna talk to me anymore or smth. my longest lasting friendships are with ppl who work the same way i just thouhght that was normal#whatever organ everybody has that makes them reach out to their friends and plan hang outs i probably dont have it#i was already hesitant to ask out Alex bc i spend almost every waking hour doing smth that isnt talking to ppl unless they happen to be in#the vicinity. and at first it was bc i planned on making sure i had everything set up so i dont get stressed out and do it one at a time#but then i find out theres a friendship decay mechanic? and after dating and marrying someone you lose -10 friendship points for every#day u dont talk to them?? actually ive probably been losing friendship points this whole time without knowing bc of this?????#and i notice a lot of my own habits are also reflected in how i play bc ive been avoiding getting close to pierre and marnie since its more#of a professional relationship. like i know theyre npcs but im approaching it the way i would in real life its fucking nuts#i think its a little relieving im playing /as/ a character than myself bc as im playing im just making up little interactions in my head#than approaching things the way i would myself so it takes a bit of the stress off trying to put myself in there as a spectator. but well#being in a relationship demands a certain amount of energy even more so when theyre things that already take up energy on its own#like making time to talk to your partner and make sure they know theyre loved. i dont always have energy to put all my mental focus into it#and this is true for real life so im not really bothered by not dating anyone. but when its a game and i want my character to be with someo#and i know its fully optional and i know i could just apply the same logic to this i dont /want/ to. sometimes i want to experience#the same things other people do at least to a certain degree without the same emotional andmental stakes#no offense krobus#yapping#stardew#stardew valley#puppy plays sdv#sdv#this game has me by the ankles man
142 notes · View notes
faaun · 7 months ago
Text
i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao
#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her#and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that#bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control#AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern#which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have#become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and#then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see#the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then#immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now#hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him#she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women#bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely#fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are#capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the#like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond#or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to#feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe#months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time#its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like#there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she#wouldnt show up and ive been right each time#like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at#them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all#anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it#and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy#and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way#its just AUSHD AUGH#anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore
16 notes · View notes
emdotcom · 5 months ago
Text
My brain is so full of Bees about Post-Shift 2.
It's a fan game that was delayed for 4 years -- by the time it released, fnaf fangames as a whole were not as popular as they had been, & most people in the scene had forgotten about Post-Shift 1, so not a lot of people heard about it/played it.
Worse still is the people who did talk about the game. Pretty unanimously, the consensus was this: this game is the craziest, most insane fnaf fangame. It's overly difficult with mechanics that have no rhyme or reason to them & tutorials that are wordy, unhelpful, & sometimes actively mislead the player, meaning you need to comb through a lot of text only to be misinformed. It's not as infamous as some other fangames, but it definitely was talked about very poorly.
In general, I think most of these criticisms were blown up out of proportion, but I can't really disagree with most people's problems -- it is difficult & wordy, & rather hard to understand. I think, however, that the game is still 1. Really fun, 2. Not a bad game at all, &, most importantly, 3. Is a free fucking game that was clearly a passion project. Most damn fangames never get off the fucking ground when made in groups because the creators will never make a red cent off the thing -- this game was made by one dude for 4 years & delivered to people for free. It didn't ask anything of you except to accept it as a difficult game & to not go in with wild expectations. The dev just wanted to make a game that was rough, but he also wanted to make a game that felt unique & was fun. & It is fun, too, is the damn thing.
#em.txt#ps2 post#post-shift 2#i obviously am biased#i also obviously have more to say#but for now i think this is a start. i think this is fine so far.#i got counter arguments i was gonna type about the problems#bc tbh i think the difficulty isn't as big a problem as the difficult curve -- it starts very high for a fangame#bc it assumed you know what they're like. you know how fangames work. but it over assumes that all the mechanics#work at the same frequency as other fangame#the difficulty curve of night 1 is pretty tough place to start which turned a lot of people off#especially with how long & unclear th tutorials are & of course night 1's tutorial starting with a character that is unused in that night#it's rough. night 2 is even tougher. but night 3 is a cakewalk once you beat 2 bc it only adds 2 threats#so you might expect the next night to be as easy or even easier & in my eyes yeah -- night 4 is easier than 1 even#except that it's completely different & is asking the player to learn a new game entirely which is its own difficulty#but i can crank out a night 4 easy peasy no prolem. so you might expect night 5 to be even easier right? WRONG#WRONG WRONG WRRRONNNGG even people who know what they are doing struggle#because a mechanic in the game actively increases the difficulty as the difficulty is increased which is EVIL#& night 6 is even harder i have seen 3 people beat night 6 it is absurd#i sat in a call with another PS2 fan who clearly played thr game s lot & loved it but they could not beat the night normally#& this night has fucking optional difficulty modifiers when you finish that make it harder it is hell on earth#there is no checkpoints it is bad it is so bad I haven't beaten it i talk abt this game every day i play all the nights#i do not fucking play this night bc the way the tutorial works is unreal & unhelpful it wants you to remember#all this shit but it removes the 'walk around & click things before the night starts to see how they work/where they are'#& then it changes every 2 hours to something new so you won 12-2 but you hit 2 & forgot this one person's mechanic#but the only way to read the tutorial again is to close the game bc it automatically puts you back into the night#& will not take you to the home screen to view the booklet for night 6 it's insane#so yeah. there is difficulty. but the difficulty curve being this inconsistent is worse tbh#i get night 6 is meant to be like a 'everyone is here!' bossfight but it's overwhelming & there is too damn much
8 notes · View notes
calyptramoths · 2 months ago
Text
pet peeve is when someone is coming onto a post thats very clearly like "i have no desire to label this thing revolving around gender or sexuality and i am fine with that", and their first thought is to go "oh actually what you're describing is x!" (it is not x) or "waiting for you to discover y" (it is not y), or just generally anything in that wheelhouse of essentially saying "i am going to ignore that you said you didnt want this thing to be labelled because i am coming here assuming you havent thought of this before" like trust me 5 times out of 10 op has, 4 times out of 10 op hasn't but your term doesnt fit anyway, and 10 times out of 10 youre being a know it all so even if the term did fit its still annoying
4 notes · View notes
scoringeffects · 7 months ago
Text
.
#prefacing this w ik in fanfiction they're all just our little barbie dolls we're making kiss and it doesnt matter whatsoever but like Do you#understand how much love and respect and loyalty there is between connor and leon irl#like in connors nhlpa ama he immediately no question said that leon's the nhler who knows him best + that he's spent his entire professiona#career w him. whenever leon's asked what he thinks of connor the first sentance out his mouth is 'you [the media] know. he knows' and then#he carries on talking about how he's the best player in the world + connor never hesitates to return the sentiment#and between the two of them it's not sentiments they sau it like its fact bc it is#and their whole 'cup or bust' thing every analyst and their mother have taken it as a 'they're going to win in edmonton or not at all' in t#e sense that they want to stay in edmonton n stay together <- like not even in an insane person edmonton polycule type of way in the they'r#the best players in the world and have insane chemistry on the ice and are eachother's best friends type of way#like a reason why their pp is so lethal is bc those two on a line + the other team down yeah ofc thats going to be automatic#and leon saying that their best beats anyone else's best no doubt and connor talking about building the team from the ground up like leon w#s there when they got boo'd off the ice in 2014 he was a part of building the team that's thier damn team and in turn the sheer amount of#respect the rest of the team have for them and they have for the rest of the team and the trust that while they're the best players they#don't have to play for all of them n that's part of thier whole like. our fourth line stands up to any other first line rock solid belief#like and ofc thier on ice hugs and lockerroom hugs and that moment in the sportsnet knee injury doc and how they mention that they're best#friends whenever theyre asked and how their gf's are also best friends and also their damn dogs#NOT TO MENTION. he's my ride or die. im really lucky our paths crossed here in edmonton. as a friend it was really tough to watch that#<- leon's insane 2022 playoff run on a broken ankle#and the way leon's been dubbed the german gretzky and connor's been the next next one since he was 15 and the way they have such a solid#control of the lockerroom together and i dont know if they've ever said conflicting things to the media and how they've said that they push#eachother to be better (connor saying that leon told him to score more)#and their little taps throughout their season and bringing back their team from the dead and leon being the one to make connor laugh in#pressers and on the bench#ALL TO SAY. like i am a mc.matt.drai enjoyer in the threesome/winners room/asg/2997 are actually quite abnormal about eachother and matthew#has never been normal about anything in his life and this might be fun. kinda way#but 2997 are soulbonded in ways quite possibly none of us will ever be able to truly understand#<- also i do mean this genuinely like they're not normal people but both of them are not normal#SORRY FOR RAMBLING. i just wish there was better written fanfiction.#<- wish to be the change you see in the world innit tho#so funny to me how the eh is just canadian innit.
12 notes · View notes
heybaetae · 6 months ago
Text
.
#i’m having an incredibly hard time.#and i’m trying not to burden anyone else with it because i’ve already expressed so much of my grief related feelings over the last year#but this loss in particular is so incredibly profound and arguably the most painful bc it was the least complicated or nuanced#therefore i am completely and paralyzingly distraught in ways i didn’t experience with my grandma or my sister#and that’s confusing bc on one hand i wonder if it makes me a bad person and on the other hand i just don’t even care#pet grief is something entirely different#harley was and is the most important and precious thing in my life#his love was unconditional and he gave my days structure and routine#he is still so embedded in me that i have spent every day without him so far still listening for him around the house#i don’t think i’ve ever cried this consistently and so easily every day in my life#i don’t even have to try to cry or force it at all and i wonder how long it’ll take before the automatic nature of it stops#i go to sleep crying and the minute i get out of bed i am crying before i even leave my room bc i know he won’t he outside of it#my heart is so broken i feel like i’m going to suffocate#two nights ago i ran into my mom’s room sobbing before bed bc my night time routine was suddenly shortened#i can’t go to bed without putting him to bed#i didn’t know what to do i just broke down on her bed where i would tuck him in#i don’t know how i’m going to move on from this i genuinely am at my lowest point#i am Not okay. i haven’t been okay in a really long time but this has knocked me down so hard#i don’t see myself ever getting up atp
3 notes · View notes
xxswagcorexx · 1 year ago
Text
thinking about that ashswag testrun ep......
#listen 2 me. as someone who has a passive interest in the youtube algorithm#and likes to hear people talk about 'optimizing' it sometimes#and Also as someone whos very involved in fandom culture#its so!! fascinating to listen someone who has a fandom talk about the meta of their work!#like#when i think of 'ashswag' i automatically think of the fandom. i think about the thousands of words and dozens of art about spite and rage#but. ashswag (the guy) refering to 'ashswag' as a brand that can be optimized#its. a Really jarring disconnect as someone who thinks of the fandom First#esp when parrot and ash talking about the longevity of their channels#and talking about other creators and eventually going#'yeah i wish my content will grow with me as a person so i wont beat youtube like a dead horse and not enjoy it :/'#is. so interesting.#esp bc later they talk about off sourcing their editing to dedicated editors so they can be consistent#and trying to find the motivation to keep on going for like#5 years#and about how their goals are numbers based but also 'i wanna make meaningful content'#like. bud. yall already are#as someone whos talked with lots of members of the lifesteal fandom: yall are making art that inspires you!#it isn't just content that can be optimized. your videos inspire other people to create and connect#and be. human with each other.#and i Do think thats where fandom shines best#artists celebrating other artists#and ive been trying to go into this mindset myself: but youtubers are artists man!#theyre just using a new medium!!#and it sucks that youtube sees them as profit machines!! and punishes you for taking breaks bc youre human!!!!#but. listen man. when i think of ls s3#yes i do think of the traps and pvps#but i also think about something else#i think about the trust. i think about how in a server that punishes you for being bad at the game
9 notes · View notes
vampire-core · 2 years ago
Text
[id: the first image is a reply by @.demilypyro that reads: That doesnt sound very cis
the second image is a reply by @.homosexualmorelikehomiesexual that reads: respectfully adding to this in agreement with op: i think its true that no, it DOESNT sound very cis, but thats bc according to the very same gender system that sucks so much, anyone who disagrees or complains about it is Other, and i think thats......part of the exact problem op is talking abt..? so yeh idk. speaking as a trans person myself- op youre valid youre right and you should say it i support you go cis boy go
#this is what i call cis+ #youre cis but youve seen the void. the truth. and then you pulled back and went Ok Got It. Keeping My Gender Though #which i think is just as respectable. like amen #consciously opting into your assigned gender when you know you don’t actually have to..... #thats cis plus. cis prime. cis upgraded. you feel? /end]
I’m a cis man sure but i also wanna opt out of the gender binary. None of that shit is my fault or my responsibility and i don’t want any part of it
#text#lgbtag#may actually add something to the post eventually but it's late so just putting some thoughts in the tags#saying this as a trans genderfuck person . it's incredibly reductive to tell anyone who questions the gender binary or desires to break it-#-down that they Have to be trans to do so#you see it a lot with gnc cis people but tbh . applies to even gender conforming cis people and even non-queer cis people !#because in doing so you reinforce that trans people are Magically Different than cis people and that we're the only people who want to-#-question and break down the gender binary#but like . if you want to acknowledge that the gender binary is made up & people have complex relationships with it that fall outside of-#-the socially dictated binary & that ''man'' and ''woman'' are socially created categories not based in biology#and that there's no concrete definition of what a man or a woman or someone who's both or neither and etc beyond personal identity and-#-social category / cis-enforced societal roles#... you also have to realize that some people will break down the concept of the binary and recognize all of that . and still identify with-#-their assigned gender and be cis#expecting anyone who breaks down and rejects the gender binary to automatically also be trans not only cuts us off from cis allies who want-#-to help trans acceptance and break down those social structures#but also ignores intersectional groups who have complicated experiences with gender based on those identities while being cis!#(ex as a white person with privilege i don't feel confident speaking on it on my own but reading about black perspectives on gender and how-#-black women especially have historically been treated by largely white feminist movements how black women are degendered how the sex-#-binary has been leveraged in a racist & eugenics-based way etc imo is really important for breaking down the gender binary even when it's-#-discussing specifically cis people. bc discussions on marginalization are never in a vacuum)#and there are plenty of people Esp queer people who may not solidly fit in a cis or trans box esp when it comes to gnc people!#ex the amount of butch lesbians and fem/me gay men whose connection to womanhood or manhood is through being a lesbian/gay man#but who have more complex relationships with their gender and expression than Just womanhood or manhood#idk long rant and none of this is to say that there's a Cisphobic Trans Agenda to Force Poor Cis People to be trans bc a woman likes suits-#-or a man thinks the gender binary sucks#just . again as a trans person who experiences a lot of joy from my relationship to gender and being trans#i love seeing cis people who can find joy in their gender through breaking down the binary!#gender is complicated and i think accepting it as something Anyone can have a complex relationship . cis or trans . is a big part of-#-accepting that gender is a social construct and not a biological fact
143K notes · View notes
punksocks · 1 year ago
Text
Astrology Observation: No.24 (18+ Only)
No minors! Adults only pls
Just based on my opinions only take what resonates
Tumblr media
-Water moons/mars are the most likely to just say they love you during s*x (they may mean it too !); Can happen to fire moon/mars too but they may not mean it after the moment; Earth Moon/Mars will not be saying anything without planning well in advance (Earth moon AND Mars, you will not catch them slip lmao); I’d assume Air Moon/Mars would be the most likely to tease the other person(s) and say just about anything but I love you
-Venus aspects to Mars/ Taurus/Libra mars/ Venus and/or Mars in 2nd could really enjoy dressing up in lingerie and setting up a s*xy atmosphere in general (and your partner would enjoy this too !)
-1st/2nd /7th/8th house Venus, Scorpio Venus, Venus conjunct Pluto/ sometimes 12th house venus you may get compliments on your genitals from people during s*x (like told you have a pretty p*ssy lol yea fr)
-1st /8th house mars, Aries mars, Scorpio mars/Mars conjunct Pluto/sometimes 12th house mars would also be this for those in their masc energy (instead of pretty someone might admire the aggressive look of your junk instead)
-Imo the easiest sexual partners to discuss boundaries and such with will be partners that have easy (conjunct/trine/Sextile) mars aspects to your Mercury and/or moon
Tumblr media
-I know we’d assume that mars in 8th is the most s*xual but I’d argue that mars in 12th is also super s*xual. Intimacy tends to be heavy on the mind, and there’s a higher chance of mirroring s*xual energy back to others. Especially if the native acts out of their masc/mars energy
-i’d think Aries, Leo, and Scorpio mars would be the most into their partner being SO attracted to them they can’t keep their hands off of them and/or finish too fast (least likely with Scorpio unless you’re just really over stimulating them, most likely with Aries- the most veracious Aries mars go rounds imo)
-I’d argue and assume that air mars/3rd house mars are spacing out the hardest during s*x, and I bet it’s not on purpose (just bouncing between thoughts and coming back to what’s going on)(also if you keep their attention, you’re doing something right)
-Water mars could mean you sleep around for emotional validation (…Imma say it… cancer mars has the strongest chances lol)
Tumblr media
-I think your Venus and mars together can show if you’re more of a sub or dom imo (like if they’re both cardinal you’re probably a dom, if they’re mutable then you may be a switch/sub, and if they’re fixed I’d think you’d be hard set on being a sub or dom — and then results may vary depending on the combination of signs and how much of your feminine or masculine energy you act out of.)
-I think Scorpio Venus/Mars makes someone more dominant in s*x than Aries mars/Venus imo (they’re not here to win, they’re here to posses you- that’s so intense man)
-Understated praise kink placements? Virgo moon/mars. They need to hear praises for how well they did or they’re gonna overthink it. Libra/Taurus mars also would like this. And Venus square/opposition Mars would too in a tell me how much you want me sort of way (it makes them feel really desired)
-Tumblr ruined me bc now every time I look up a dudes birth chart and see Sagittarius mars/Jupiter positively aspecting mars I’m like damn, do they just have bde or actually have a big d*ck and I feel bad for guessing lmao but now it’s so automatic
-Strong Lilith placements (1st/7th/8th/10th) can show guys pressuring you to perform their like shadow side fantasies (which is not cool, because where’s the consent? We always need to discuss things beforehand and map out a plan otherwise it’s skeezy behavior -unless you’re into being surprised but even then lol)
Tumblr media
-Gemini placements (the big 6, but especially mars) make you louder in bed. And more open to trying new things and switching up positions.
-5th house synastry is really s*xy and fun. Some of the best dates and relationships imo. It also allows you to open up and experiment in a way you never have before. Can keep a long term relationship exciting as well depending on the overall synastry. (Be careful bc this is the pregnancy overlay too oml)
-I think north node in 5th can (depending on the sign and aspects ofc) can point to indulging in the senses, partying, breakin hearts and hookin up a bunch— especially if you’re unbalanced/still learning to balance this with your south node energy
Tumblr media
-(in sing songy voice) Scorpio synastry is someone telling you s*x with you makes them f*cking crazy (No they are not kidding ! Lilith synastry is this on steroids but it feels more like you’re lighting this fire in the more masc person - and they’re afraid of burning imo (I’m not singing any more lol)
-I hold to the fact that Lilith in 1st/7th/8th/10th can make someone jump into bed with you way faster than they usually would even if they have like an earth or water mars, if you have Lilith synastry with them this is amplified
-Masc folks/Men with Taurus and/or Cancer in their big 6 (especially mars/venus) are very attracted to women/femmes that are curvy and have an hourglass figure. Aries placements tend to be attracted to athletic figures. Leo placements are likely to jump at figures they find attention grabbing. Libra/Scorpio placement men are more likely to be attracted to figures that they’re socialized to find s*xy. I find that Sagittarius/Pisces is the least likely to have a set type. Aquarius and Gemini are also pretty dependent on personality and conversation skills.
Tumblr media
5K notes · View notes
redr0sewrites · 10 months ago
Text
Red and Green Flags of Some of the Hazbin Hotel Cast
the title says it all! i'm just blurbing about some red/green flags they have when ur dating them :)
🥀Cw: nsfw mentions but nothing explicit, mostly crack and fluff and maybe the slightest angst when it comes to red flags
🥀Pairing(s): Adam x reader, Alastor x reader, Vox x reader
Tumblr media
Adam
Green flags
INSANELY loyal. this man was cheated on twice and left for the same guy. if he's in a serious relationship with you i genuinely can not see him cheating bc this man is genuinely so devoted to you and only you. he's had his fair share of hookups but very very very rarely commits to a serious relationship, which means if he does, you're not only very special but he genuinely thinks you're "the one". when it comes to these serious actual relationships (not just hookups or situationships) he's very very loyal and would never think of cheating on you. he also dates to marry when it comes to serious relationships and will genuinely try to make the relationship last. this also means you get to see a side of him that most people don't get to, and he's generally very soft with you. he treats you so much better than everyone else and expects everyone else around you to do the same
adam is very supportive of you- he definitely gives off "THATS MY PARTNER‼️" vibes. while he likes to think he's in charge, if you change your tone towards him he immediately agrees with you like a hurt puppy. if you have any important decisions you want to make he's much more likely to compromise or agree with you than if anyone else was suggesting an idea. adam can be irritating, but when it comes to you, he's absolutely wrapped around your finger. your also the only person who can make him knock it off when he's patronizing someone and you're also the only reason sera has not attempted to strangle him because you've been keeping him in check since you both started dating
adam always has your back and is on your side no matter what. there is no devil's advocate for him, if his partner is in a fight with someone he's automatically on their side. adam is absolutely the type to tell someone off for shit talking you and is also the type to tell you if someone was being rude to you behind your back. he's also not the kind of guy to shit talk you behind your back and gets pissed at guys who complain about their wives and stuff like that. if he has an issue he tells you to your face and doesn't believe in hiding anything in your relationship.
Red Flags
adam is very insecure about his masculinity even if he doesn't want to admit it and this can be problematic in your relationship. he puts on a lot of appearances around others and acts much more confident when he is, and sometimes his fake persona can piss you off a bit because he genuinely treats you so differently in private versus in public. he also very rarely takes off his mask around you, especially early on into the relationship. in reality it's because he's insecure about how he looks, but he'd never actually admit that (at least early on) so you're stuck in a loop of asking him to take off the mask, him making up some bullshit lie about how he can't, you getting pissed at him and the mask, and him getting more insecure bc he thinks you don't like him anymore. eventually it ends with a conversation about how u love him regardless of what he looks like, but it takes time to get there that might be irritating for you
he is INCREDIBLY clingy, and also huge on PDA- but like even if its not the most appropriate time, he's pulling you onto his lap or slapping your ass or something like that. he also will make a lot of lewd and inappropriate jokes in public- we know he's childish and he is the embodiment of middle school boy humor. you guys could be out in public just trying to have a cute date but he always ruins the moment by making it sexual or making a shitty joke. adam is also very unaware of his surroundings and horrible at reading people so you could be extremely uncomfortable and he just... wouldn't notice unless you told him so. adam isn't great at expressing intimacy nonsexually (he was quite literally created for the sole purpose of populating earth, and a part of him still lowkey thinks he's only good for sex ☹️) so he ends up accidentally turning non-sexual moments sexual. he isn't trying to annoy you, but it can seem insensitive.
pisses you off on purpose. adam does care about you and your feelings but he also can be childish. he'll see that your pissed off and will make a joke only for you to get even more angry at him, but he'll get super defensive even if he was in the wrong saying he was just trying to make you laugh. he will feel very bad afterwards tho, especially if you cry or get really upset because, as i said before, he isn't great at expressing himself and genuinely doesn't mean to hurt you sometimes
Alastor
Green Flags
very respectful of your boundaries. relationships are new to him after all, and he isn't the most expressive lover, so alastor knows that dating him can be tough. he never pushes you too hard or forces himself on you, and he takes your opinion into consideration a lot when it comes to decisions or dealing with life in general. he always asks before taking your hand or kissing you, and he initiates most of the courting process, not wanting to put too much pressure on you. when you first caught feelings for him you were genuinely so scared that he wouldn't even want to be friends with you anymore, but once you found out he reciprocated your feelings, at least in his own way, you were elated. this lead to him being the one to initiate most dates and things like that, at least early on, so that he could show you he was serious about treating you well. you definitely recieve top tier princess treatment (regardless of gender)
protective, but not in a limiting way. if you're dating alastor, then you have to have been friends for at least a while before officially getting together, and he also has to trust you a lot. alastor always wants you to be safe, he knows how cruel hell can be, and he knows that others can use you to hurt him. however, he also trusts you and your strength, and he tries to keep a decent balance of protecting you but also letting you make decisions for yourself. you both definitely have conversations about him sending his shadow to watch over you when your away, and he prefers to have you by his side more than anything else
alastor is very emotionally intelligent and is great at reading people. this skill comes to use a lot and you both very rarely argue over anything because he's very quick to notice when something is bothering you. he's also great at communication, and isn't afraid to sit down and have a conversation with you about how you feel about him and how he feels about you. when it comes to your relationship he wants to make sure you both are on the same page, and yall are the type of couple to have monthly check-ins where you sit doen and just talk about what you're feeling. this leads to a lot of open conversations with alastor, and overtime it made your trust for him grow. he would never tell anyone anything confidential about you, and he genuinely views you as his equal.
Red Flags
alastor does not like change, which means he is not great at adjusting his own behaviors. this also means he refuses to catch up to modern technology and trends and is overall very outdated. he'll get irritated with you for using modern slang he doesn't understand, but will refuse to actually learn the slang terminology. while his class and refinement is attractive and well-meaning in most cases, in some situations it can definitely cause some friction between the two of you. he never wants to watch a movie with you, or go to a nightclub, or even attend concert with you because they're all "too modern" for his tastes. then he'll turn around and get pissed if you invite someone else! alastor also pretty much refuses to take photos with you and avoids most technology all together. i genuinely think he does have a phone, but its super outdated and he is the absolute dryest texter. he will just leave you on read most of the time and doesnt understand why its a big deal
he is not very physically attentive. while we know that alastor is definitely not a fan of being touched, there are moments where he will just randomly start being very touchy with you, but won't let you reciprocate. like he will completely invade your personal space at the most random lowkey inconvenient time and start showing you affection, but when you try to reciprocate he just gets icked out and pulls away. alastor doesn't even explain himself either, he will just... walk away. he doesn't understand that you have very different needs than him and is always confused as to why you're so touch starved. he's giving you attention, isn't that enough? he just doesn't get that theres a vast difference between him looming over you and practically leaning on you, and actually cuddling him and showing you affection. he also will randomly just disappear for days on end. like one day you'll be hanging out going on cute romantic dates to cannibal town and literally being fine and then the next he's gone with no note not information, you just wake up and he isn't there. alastor gets better at communicating his absences once he realizes how worried it makes you, but its certainly alarming in the beginning of your relationship because you think he's upset with you when in reality he's just fucking around and finding out doing god knows what. it takes time for the both of you to find a happy medium ground where you can satisfy your own physical needs while he can also take his own space, but once you do, your relationship goes a LOT smoother.
Vox
Green Flags
Very devoted to you. vox is the type of guy to be absolutely WHIPPED for everything his partner does, and he is not afraid of showering you in affection. while he does find public image important, in his mind, you're the most important and valuable thing in his life. he wants the world to know that you belong to him and that he belongs to you, and he is NOT the type of person to be embarrassed about his partners quirks
He prioritizes satisfying your needs and feelings. whether its sexually, physically, or emotionally, vox is always willing to provide you with comfort. he would never want you to be left unsatisfied or needy, and really wants to be enough for you. vox is self aware and knows that he isn't perfect, but he always gives you more than the bare minimum. his work schedule is a little wild and he always feels bad about not getting to spend time with you so he schedules out full days that are dedicated just to you. he's very attentive and is pretty good at noticing when something is wrong, and he has no qualms about approaching you about anything you might be facing.
trusts you. a lot. in the beginning of the relationship less so, but over time he gradually opens up to you more and more. you are definitely vox's favorite person without a doubt, and he makes sure you know it. early on in your friendship, before you even started dating, vox found himself falling for you. he really didn't want to fuck up what he had with you and wanted to make it clear that you meant more to him. in the beginning of your official relationship, especially during the honeymoon phase and first couple months, he's SOOOO nervous. vox very rarely lets his guard down around others, but with you, he feels his walls instantly shatter. he doesn't understand why he's so drawn to you, but he loves you because of it. he finds a lot of comfort in you and your one of the very few people who have seen him at his worst.
Red Flags
vox sometimes thinks he knows whats best for you, and will act on his own accord to make decisions for you, especially early into a relationship. vox knows hell is dangerous and he knows that there are people who would hurt you to get to him, and he wants to keep you safe more than anything. sometimes he'll watch you on security cameras without your consent, or he'll track you on your phone to know where you are. if you ever found out he wouldn't see the issue until you explained it, but if you really, really had a problem with it he'd stop.
he can be manipulative without even realizing it. vox is surrounded by cruel, nasty people most of the time and will take his own nastiness out on you unnecessarily. like you both will be in an argument and he won't even listen to your side because he just automatically assumes he's right. he'll be condescending and try to change your mind rather than hearing you out. this is obviously very frustrating on your end because, while vox isn't always aware of it, he's still treating you like shit and just trying to manipulate you. i also think he'd accidentally hypnotize you sometimes. like you both would be arguing and vox's hypnotism would just start and he wouldn't realize until he noticed that you were just staring blankly at him. he would feel SO guilty about it though, and it would probably eat at him for a while. you're the person he cares about the most and he genuinely doesn't mean to hurt you, and he definitely does not want to hypnotize you without your consent. vox loves you because youre YOU, not because you listen to his every word like everyone else in his life. it honestly makes him insecure, and he starts to worry that maybe it isn't the rest of hell that he should be worried about hurting you, and maybe its himself thats your biggest threat. PLEASE comfort him he has the emotional capacity of a brick and cares about you too much for his own good. over time his toxic manipulation and cruel behaviors stop, especially towards you, but it can be very, very tedious in the start of your relationship.
mansplains. this is moreso a personal pet peeve of mine and as much as i love and adore vox he absolutely would mansplain and would get pissed when you don't listen. he would also get pouty if you already understand what he's talking about or just brush him off. sometimes it can be kind of endearing though when he's infodumping, and over time his mansplaining slowly forms to infodumping to you. its kinda cute how his behavior changed to match yours, and how excited he gets over sharing shark facts with you.
loved writing this sm this was lowkey an excuse to just psychoanalyize my favs- will prob do a pt 2 once i finish all 500 of my other WIPS + requests lmao- this was originally gonna include luci but i couldn't think of enough red flags and i was also very tired so im sorrryyyyyy he'll probably be in pt 2 😭
1K notes · View notes
eupheme · 8 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
FALLOUT - 2024 FIC RECS
a rec list to share and support all the gorgeous fics I read this year. please check these out and support these writers, they are all incredible! 💖
Tumblr media
COOPER HOWARD X READER
— a tale of two cities by @studioghibelli
you’ve been kidnapped by the Big Man. a certain bounty hunter comes to rescue you.
— animal instinct by @ghoulbrain
When you're both ambushed by raiders, Cooper comes to understand the lengths he'll go to keep you safe.
— close quarters by @ghoulfuckersincorporated
— howdy partner by @ghoulfriends-and-tin-cans
— it's always the quiet ones by @ghoulphile
We can see that Cooper tends to go for good girls, but what if he ran into a seemingly innocent - or at the very least kind - person… but they dirty talk like a sinner in the sack?
— it's only fair by @spatialwave
you hadn’t expected to see a celebrity at your nephews birthday party, let alone america’s most recognizable cowboy star. luck seemed to be on your side when cooper howard’s attention landed right on you.
— janey's dad by @/ghoulphile
“We really, uh, shouldn’t - oh fuck, you look --”
— nighttime affairs by @cys-fic-library
You and the Ghoul, Cooper Howard, have a complicated relationship with each other. One which involves him paying you some nightly visits when he passes on by that little home of yours out in the lonesome wasteland.
— not my first rodeo by @/iwritefandomimagines
the tension between you and cooper had been palpable for ages, and he was beginning to struggle to deny his attachment to you — despite his reluctance. he’s certain you’d never really be interested in him like that, until he finds out he’s not the first ghoul to enjoy your company.
— red lips by @spatialwave
“could you write something where the reader is his makeup artist on a new movie. Theres an Automatic connection they really click and have some sweet sweet sexual tension and after working together for a while during the movie the tension keeps growing and they get steamy in the makeup trailer. ”
— run rabbit run by @/ghoulphile
"think about coop calling you bunny from the start bc he clocked that you were always a down for it and you not getting it until he after you fuck for the first time"
— saddle up, sweetheart by @ghoulbrain
The Ghoul—Cooper, as you know him now—does not make himself an easy man to get to know. 
— take the damn shot by @moonlitdesertdreams
A single quiet day in the saloon is all you wanted. But somehow, your Ghoul partner is pulling his gun and you’re covered in another person’s blood. Honestly, it’s just typical.
— the rebound by @bubonicc
It’s been a long time since Cooper has felt a loving touch. Perhaps a little too long because he’s not entirely sure what to do with you.
— there is a heaven, lets keep it a secret by @cockslutpadalecki
The owner of the brothel you were sold to only offered you to the ghoul in the hopes it would frighten you. To stop you from trying to run away. You weren’t meant to actually like it.
Tumblr media
COOPER HOWARD X READER X JOHN HANCOCK
— regret by @iwritefandomimagines
you finally head to goodneighbor for a well earned rest… but hancock’s jealousy (and cooper’s possessiveness) might get in the way of that.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
if you haven’t read these, you need to! and please support these amazing fics & writers by reading, reblogging & commenting! 💕
64 notes · View notes
idontmindifuforgetme · 1 year ago
Note
how do you fall in love with yourself
unlearn the idea that confidence is conceit. i see this belief imposed on women especially, that if they’re very unapologetic about loving themselves it automatically means they’re narcissistic / think they’re better than everybody else. that’s not true at all. you can love yourself while also acknowledging you’re not inherently better than anyone else. you can love yourself while also being kind & supportive to others. it’s okay to be both of these things at once.
let go of the scarcity mindset. women (everyone really, but especially women) get pitted/compared against each other all the time. you see it w female celebrities in the media, but it’s very prevalent in real life as well. this is very much years of societal conditioning & both women & men partake in this behavior. ignore it. rest easy knowing that there can be multiple beautiful women, multiple smart women, multiple funny women in any environment at any given time. there is enough clout to go around; you don’t need to feel like if there’s another pretty/smart girl it means you no longer have the space to also be a pretty/smart girl. instead operate from an abundance mindset: always (alwaysss) be happy for other girls when they succeed, when they’re praised, when they’re loved, whatever. see them not as competition but as inspiration. envy is such a colossal waste of time bc nobody else’s accomplishments have any bearing on your own!!
get to know yourself more. i love the analogy of dating yourself bc it’s true. i went through a rough period of being around my ex 24/7 to the point i didn’t even know myself, and then i spent the post-breakup year hanging around everyone else constantly to numb my thoughts. now i’m spending more time alone than ever & i’m getting to know myself so much. learning about my taste in fashion, music, everything. and i’ve had so much more time to invest in hobbies & skills, which is very instrumental to building healthy self-esteem. ofc there’s a more balanced way to do this, but make sure you’re not running away from yourself!
what do you like outside of everybody’s opinion? don’t interpret this the wrong way—it’s completely fine to be inspired. every single person you know has copied someone else to an extent. but if you find yourself going too far, not trusting yourself to make the simplest decisions, just following trends blindly and nothing else, you’ve left the inspiration territory and started crossing into plagiarism. move from a place of self-direction and really think about what is naturally appealing to you. it doesn’t matter if it’s not popular or nobody else likes it. if you like it & if it makes you happy, that’s all you need.
practice self-love! i had to do this lol but it works wonders. i started intentionally telling myself that i trust my own taste, that i trust my own choices, that if i think something’s cool it’s good enough, talking to myself kindly etc etc. eventually all this stuff will become natural to you & you won’t find yourself having to expend so much energy into simply loving you for you. don’t give up even if it’s hard to believe at times.
don’t give a fuck. seriously. just don’t give a single flying fuck what someone else has to say. there will always be That One Person who tries to tear you down, belittles you, gaslights you etc etc and if you know in your heart you’re not doing anything wrong, just ignore and keep it pushing. you can’t be everyone’s favorite person (nor should you want to be). think of your favorite celebrity. anyone ever. they probably all got subjected to hate. now think of how they’re successful still & how it didn’t take anything away from them. there you go <3
if literally everyone on this planet starts hating you, loving yourself is still the antidote. to clarify, how others perceive us does hold weight. but if legit every single person i know started hating me, and i still loved myself, i’d probably still live a full life bc my perception is all that really matters in the end. i don’t need anyone else to be my #1 fan—i can do that myself just fine. it technically is actually your world & everyone else is just living in it. so enjoy that! stop giving a hard time to the one person who will always be w you through thick and thin (yourself). eat good food & watch good shows & read good books & just have fun. i love u
633 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
I'm not sure how many people pay attention to this, but Astarions tent area (inside and out) is not just blood splattered and mildly disorganized:
1) Dirty rags, blood and wine spills, rugs and pillows a bit haphazard, no proper bedding inside, empty blood bank jars everywhere, sleeps on a wooden palette rather than a bed roll
But the actual tent (yes I zoomed in and stared heavily at it shdjghfhdj)
It dirty.
It's SPLATTERED with dried mud and dirt, and I also noticed in comparison to his companions his tent is fairly small? And also kinda limp like he didn't wanna bother putting it up.
I bet this man hates putting together and tearing down camp SO MUCH that he just does the bare minimum and then trashes the place anyway. He's not going to voluntarily do laundry, he's not gonna clean the canvas, he's just here to put his shit together in some barely passable way.
And sure the exterior shows how he tries to decorate it in a way that's presentable, but he's decorating with dirty shit he won't scrub 😂
People, myself included to some degree, have chatted about why he is messy trauma wise but honestly I'm coming to the realization that he probably was, even in life, surrounded by servants to some degree.
He gives the air of being from money
I bet this little fool has never in his life had to wash his own clothes or clean a room. Even as a slave, when he was in Cazadors mansion he got trotted between the bunks where he only had minimal space to rest, (and a bunch of siblings he could probably manipulate into washing his socks for him if the servants didn't do it automatically ) and the Boudoir where he was to Look Pretty and Bend Over as requested
He never scrubbed floors in his life
Man's has never once cleaned a toilet
Astarion is living evidence that you can be severely neglected and abused while ALSO being 'spoiled' (in the sense that he never got to develop life skills bc the servants did it for him)
This really ties in with his personality and I think it's a nice touch. Cause what does he focus on keeping clean? HIM. He can do his hair, body washed, clothing IMPECCABLE. Man kept a shirt together for over a century without a single stain on it. But his SPACE ? His THINGS? neglected to the extreme
But yeah anyway, his tent is DIRTY and I'm pretty sure was originally a much more vibrant color too. Zoom in next time you get to camp you'll see what I mean
328 notes · View notes
araksi413 · 4 months ago
Text
System SQQ thoughts (as in plural system, not SYSTEM, that comes in later)
- SJ is a trauma holder and host for most of their childhood, discipleship and then during their peak lord years. To him this is his life, their system is covert, and he's not aware of it.
- SY is a normal part, fronted sometimes during their childhood and life, in the calm moments. Especially during their disciple years when they were studying flora and fauna (SJ just thinks he zoned out.)
- The SYSTEM is the overseer and persecutor. It doesn't front, doing its job in the headspace and keeping the two from realizing they exist.
- But then The qi deviation happens, and SYSTEM decides that SJ is just not handling it properly anymore, putting their existence at risk. It pulls SJ into the headspace and shoves SY to the front.
- SY creates the "this world is a book i read" as an explanation as to why he doesn't have memories but knows how this world works (especially flora and fauna, must've been the only interesting part of the book!)
- The SYSTEM cofronts with SY a lot of the time, especially at the beginning, doing its job as a persecutor to keep SY in line. (None of the possession detection tests work, because it is the same soul. Just not the same person)
- SJ sometimes gets to see what's happening at front, especially when the SYSTEM is there and can't entirely block him out. SJ passively influences SY sometimes, especially when his Qi-ge is present.
- SJ hates SY at the beginning. SY stole his life, and is ruining it, and just doesn't understand what he's doing!
- Eventually SJ gets to cofront while they're teaching or doing paperwork, reluctantly helping SY. SY explains this to himself as just a kind of grumpy inner monolog. ("That form needs to go to An Ding right away, put it on the right pile idiot." "Right, right of course, right away me.")
- SY manages to save LQG in the Linxi Caves bc he has less of an emotional attachment to him then SJ, and it doesn't get in the way of stopping his qi deviation. Also he still views everyone as characters, which is an additional distance that helps him that calm enough in the moment.
- It's SJ fighting during the demon invasion. SY just doesn't have that much control, he has just enough to get by + muscle memory, but not enough to fight Like That.
- And of course, it's SY that gets them poisoned with Without A Cure. Of course. Life gets back to "normal", just with additional visits from LQG.
- Then the Immortal Conference happens. While standing at the edge of The Endless Abyss, SY heavily disassociates, only going through motions automatically, and only because the SYSTEM is there.
- Only when LBH is gone, he comes back to himself and breaks down. Collects the sword shards and disassociates some more, only getting back thanks to his martial siblings.
- SY is rarely not disassociated for a long time after LBH is gone. He stays at the sword mound most days, far away from the body.
- SJ hates this new development. He might even.. care.. for SY, though he'd never admit it. Eventually SJ starts fronting at night. Just to get them to eat something, to do their work, to help them live.
- When they get sent on missions outside of the sect, its usually SJ fronting. This becomes very confusing to LQG, who often comes with. SJ does try to act like SY, but it is a little off-putting.
- SY fronts during the missions when there's interesting beasts, or when it's something he needs to know to not get fully lost on what's happening.
- During succubus mission SJ comes to front, pushes LQG into the pond and runs away as fast as possible.
- When they're about to go to Jinlan city, they've got a pretty good system (hehe) down. SY is still mostly unaware, just knows that... something... is going on. Suspects its the "previous soul of this body" leaking through. He let's everything happen because he just doesn't care much anymore.
- Jinlan city is awful for both SY and SJ. Neither of them can handle seeing LBH, both of them are in a panic, blurring together. It's hell and terrifying and then they're in the Water Prison and it's so much worse.
- Those moments when SQQ doesn't say anything in the Water Prison? Noones fronting. It's all a mess. The SYSTEM tries to help, but it really doesn't work.
--------------------------------------------------
that's as far as my daydreaming got me! since idk what SQH deal would be here (is he an actual transmigrator? is he the original SQH? is it smth else?), idk if the Sun and Moon Dew Mushroom bodies would even be here?
so they probably wouldn't try to escape without a backup plan, SY's pseudo-suicidal tendencies would be kept in check by the other system members.
i dont know how the plot would continue.
additional thought: Luo Bingge splits after they push LBH into the abyss. He was a fragment before, psrt of a little nightmare here and there, but after the abyss he fully forms. He's a persecutor, doesn't front (SYSTEM won't let him), but he does uh, torture SY in headspace. maybe SJ doesn't realize for a while? maybe he sees it happen and that's why he's also terrified of LBH in Jinlan ? idk. what do they do with Bingge afterwards? also no clue. He's a fun thought but too much of a complication i think.
if anyone else has thoughts please please please please share them <3
93 notes · View notes
yippee-optimistically · 2 months ago
Text
there is a shockingly low amount of tmnt on this blog for how long ive been into it. big tmnt'12 dump bc ive been trying to binge it recently
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
general sibling interactions.. very attatched to the idea of karai getting to be their sibling + i was so sleepy i kept thinking abt the turtles brumating
Tumblr media
more sibling karai. thought itd be funny if bc of the yokai/time travel ep when mikey did that weird dance at baby karai he was implanted in her brain as an automatic Favorite. hes so peculiar
Tumblr media
read this fic abt the aftermath of shellacne. the last line from donnie has been repeated by my sibling since i sent it to them
Tumblr media Tumblr media
ougugghhh into dimension x you are so famous to everyoneee.. 1st one is me thinking abt how mikey had to be So insane to get a KRAANG SKULL? strange guy. and i dont remember which one but i read a fic where mikey's breathing apparatus breaks n he ends up getting used to the dim x air and um. consequences back on earth
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
RENET!!!!!!!!!!! renet tilley you are SO FAMOUS TO ME milf shirt is bc april in s3e1 really makes it sound like mikey was the only one doing house chores. cooking cleaning caring for animals etc. single mom
Tumblr media Tumblr media
!!!! concept for a weirrrddddd savage mikey rep thatd be in his head in Journey To The Center of Mikeys Mind. was thinking that instead of being outside in that checker floor area, hed stick around core mikey. protecting him n protecting that last bit of childhood innocence. hed stand very tall and intimidating. core probably wouldnt even really know where he came from?? smth abt the brain blocking out traumatic memories. i like him
Tumblr media
tang shen aus... more specifically inspired by this fic that i need to finish catching up on.. mikey and karai sibling relationship is so special 2 meee
Tumblr media
2012 LEO YOU ARE EVERYTHING 2 MEEEE wishing so bad we got to see more of him and mikey.. mikey and his brothers ... ougghhhhh
Tumblr media
and a little bit of smth from a personal iteration im working on ... definitely excited to post abt them once i have more solid outfits designed
94 notes · View notes
enden-k · 2 months ago
Note
Would Saran and Vika's contract be considered strange and unorthodox since it was done for personal reasons and not work reasons?
thats why their contract is so much different compared to the ones made by amygdala
fear contracts in amygdala work like this:
the seeker gets checked thoroughly (potential fears? phobia? nightmares? etc) so they wont get a fear assigned theyre actually afraid of/get overpowered and possessed
a choice is made
the seeker gets tested for reaction to the fear/phobia without contact to the being yet (example: potential choice is arachnophobia. seeker will be exposed to spiders either by studying or touching etc; theyre either unaffected or getting desensitized if there was discomfort)
contract is made - the exchange is onesided (seeker wants power but offers nothing to the ghost) so the sacrifice is automatically their eye (an eye for an eye to see and control the unseen)
all seekers have eye related side effects caused by tool use (positive or negative)
the fears are handled strictly by amygdala (they keep the tools safe and locked); only fears, phobias and nightmares are assigned. anything higher has a higher risk of possessing the human in the blink of an eye
sarans and vikas contract is like this:
saran was not given out like a tool by amygdala; he met vika before vika even started working there
his eye (tool) is a part of vika and not a talisman carried around like seekers do; this makes their connection much more intimate and stronger (its also even much higher risk of possession)
their exchange is proper and not onesided- vika doesnt thirst for power or anything like that. he wishes for smth and offers his everything to saran; their exchange is vikas wish for sarans wish
vika doesnt suffer eye related side effects like seekers do bc of their exchange
their contract is completely and utterly personal and for each other, and not to do their job
saran is a mutated entity, belonging to a class which is specified as "greater evil" by amygdala. this class sits at the top of the pyramid with the highest risk of possession and are considered the most evil beings with constantly changing negative energy. saran could easily posses vika and break him if he ever wanted
basically, amygdala fear contracts are purely work relations between human and fear. saran and vika contract is them being married on a different level. its a strange contract amygdala would never approve of bc of its high risks and dangers
but since saran gave his eye to vika and them hiding their details about their contract (vika claims he has no memory), amygdala expects their exchange went the same way like it does with the organization (bc not even the seekers know about proper exchanges). the thing they consider risky is vika making a contract without tests (but bc of his condition they think its safe in this case) and the strange thing is vika carrying the tool not as a talisman like the others, but using it as a functioning transplant which makes it impossible for them to study and learn about saran and who or what he is. the fact saran didnt possess vika despite the tool being a part of his body, amygdala thinks vika is lucky and has crazy good control over his tool. in other words, saran and vika are tricking amygdala and hiding lots from them
i hope my wording/explanation makes sense, i jsut came from work and am half asleep but i wanted to reply before i go nap oof
64 notes · View notes