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this!! the executive order does not define intersex people and it is simply ridiculous! individuals who aren’t trans, but don’t fall into the m/f binary, are taking a hit from trump’s blatant attacks on trans people and are getting brought down with us. trump didn’t consult or listen to any kind of professional in biology for this order he made regarding biology. he clearly just fragrantly threw together enough disinformation to make an effective scare-tactic document.
he’s actively giving the middle finger to all science that could actually benefit the people of the united states, only supporting science that can make the wealthy wealthier. and also supporting “science” that can make the wealthy wealthier. scientific study and research exists to make life better for everyone. trump is dragging it down even farther by restricting and immobilizing the NIH and pulling the usa out of the WHO. trump’s word about any sort of health emergencies, or the lack thereof, will be god’s word to so many usamericans and it really is scary. like, why on earth are you trying to defund and denounce health, safety, and science?
i really hope we nip this in the bud about a third term for trump. being able to set precedents using his blind following and scare tactics grants him a lot of power. if republican reps and senators can get that amendment through, they’ll have precedent to amend it for a fourth term. i mean, go read rep. andy ogle’s proposition on his own website. he’s playing it off like he’s just such a fanboy for trump, but he’s just throwing the whole playbook of nonsense out there as justification for setting such a dangerous precedent.
keep informed, take reasonable precautions, and stay safe. understand how you will know when to take action and what action you will need to take. don’t overact, especially not too early. right now, they’re using scare tactics. if we let them scare us off, they will have gotten exactly what they wanted. stay queer, stay informed, and most importantly, stay safe. if you’re in a right-wing state, preparing a go bag with food, water, blankets, your necessary documents, and a plan of places you can find heat and shelter, so that you may grab it and leave at any point if trouble comes knocking or if radically oppressive local/state/federal laws are being enacted, is a reasonable precaution.
it is important for trans, intersex, nonbinary, and gnc individuals to find solidarity in each other, especially right now. the presence of the Y chromosome at conception seems like the likely factor that will dictate whether they will put F or M on a person’s documents. they will probably do away with being able to make your gender marker undeclared. they didn’t even bother to include intersex people, who can fall biologically outside of the m/f binary and are unique from either sex, in their official definitions of the sexes they will recognize.
i read through the whole executive order, it’s a dreadful document. it’s on the white house’s website. it is wrought with misinformation. it is propaganda and disinformation against trans and queer people.
may the universe grant responsible, thoughtful, caring, inclusive, people who aren’t motivated by profit or hatred the power to change and run this country. may we all empower each other to make waves and be our authentic selves. let us find solidarity and community with one another to resist this and stay safe.
Also btw trump recognizing only "the two biological sexes" harms intersex people too. I am a researcher of sex and it's affects on disease, and sex is far more complicated than "two sexes" and it always will be. Sex is multifaceted and there are far more than two binary sexes. Keep that in mind too. Don't fall into bioessentialism as you fight for trans people and intersex people.
#intersex#transgender#current events#us politics#world health organization#national institutes of health#trump#lgbtqia#transfem#transmasc#trump administration#science#musings#edit: made it taste better (special soy sauce flavor)#PUT QUEERS IN CONGRESS
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𝒾𝒾𝒾 ⁞ AS WE ARE “𝑎 𝑏𝘰𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑦, 𝑠𝑎𝜈𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑦 𝑦𝘰𝑢𝑟 𝘰𝑛𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝘰𝑛𝑙𝑦.” ── hang out. libraries. kids. food. turns out, baseball guy isn't only a baseball guy..?
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𓍯 baseballcapt!seungmin ʚଓ fem!reader :( 𝒾 )9.1k── ༯ SERIES uni au, slow paced & slow burn, curiosity, fluff, strangers to friends to ???, small town, slight angst, language, skz ensemble, very long, y/n is a foreigner/has mixed ethnicity, angsty, humour. ⸝⸝𓂃 LiBRARY . /ᐠ.ꞈ.ᐟ\ྀིྀི
yani's note ˖˙ ᰋ a month and 5 days to the last update of this fic omg !!!!! yes it is finally here and it's very long. IM SORRY but i love this chapter sm im actually so proud of myself with this :3 hope you all like it !! <3 i love seungmin sm guys, pls tag me if you find any good seungmo fics mwah. also when i posted the last chapter, i had only crossed 300 followers. right now, as of when im posting this, i actually just passed 600 of you, oh my god. in a span of 36 days, thank you so much to every single one of you ! this really motivates me a lot :(( i am also posting the requested fics soon loves, please be patient !!! comments, likes, req/asks and reblogs are always appreciated ! send in a reply or an ask if you want to be in my mastertag, or my individual series' taglists. happy reading <3
the sun hung low in the sky, its warm rays stretching lazily over the quiet baseball field. a faint breeze rustled the leaves of nearby trees, carrying with it the distant hum of voices from the university festival on the other side of town.
y/n strolled across the usual field with her usual carefree stride, her satchel slung over one shoulder and a grande paper cup of peach tea in her hand. her gaze caught a familiar figure, who she may have been hoping to find.
he stood on the pitcher’s mound, his cap pulled low over his face as usual, a baseball gripped loosely in his hand. his focus was sharp, his movements practiced and fluid as he wound up and pitched the ball toward the net. the satisfying smack of the ball hitting its target echoed across the empty field.
she paused for a moment, watching him. he looked so at ease here, like the field was an extension of himself. she smiled to herself before calling out, “practicing alone again?”
seungmin turned at the sound of her voice, his expression softening slightly when he saw her. “car girl, again,” he said, a hint of amusement in his tone.
she rolled her eyes at the nickname, though she couldn’t help but smile. “that nickname is never going away, is it?”
“not a chance,” he said, turning back to the net and throwing another pitch.
she began teasingly, walking closer to the netted boundary of the field. “so, has this time now become your usual or are you just excited to see your new friend everyday now?”
he shrugged, tossing the ball idly in one hand. “don't flatter yourself, maybe it's because i'm actually bored for once.”
“oh well, didn't hurt to try,” she laughed softly, the sound light and warm like the breeze that rustled the trees surrounding the field. she stopped a few feet away from him, crossing her arms as she watched the ball sail cleanly into the net. “your friends aren't here today?”
“nope,” he replied, brushing a bit of dirt off his palm. “they’re at some event thing on campus. didn’t feel like going.”
“why not?” she asked, genuinely curious.
he shrugged, retrieving another ball from the bucket nearby. “not my scene.”
she tilted her head, a teasing smile on her lips. “you say that about a lot of things.”
“that’s because it’s true about a lot of things,”
“so, instead of loud festivals, you decided to spend your evening throwing balls alone?”
“better than standing around pretending to have fun,” he said, his lips twitching into a faint smirk as he pitched the ball again.
“you really do have a grumpy streak, don’t you?”
“i’m not grumpy,” he shot back, catching the ball as it rebounded off the glove.
“you keep saying that,” she said, her voice light with amusement. “but i’m not convinced.”
seungmin glanced at her, shaking his head. “you talk too much.”
“again, only because you talk too little,” she countered easily, her grin widening.
he let out a soft huff—somewhere between a sigh and a laugh—before walking over to grab the ball again. this time, instead of pitching, he sat down on the grass near her, resting his elbows on his knees.
she blinked in mild surprise but quickly recovered, sitting up straighter. “taking a break?”
“something like that,” he said, spinning the ball absently in his hands.
“so,” she began, tucking her legs beneath her and leaning forward slightly. “if you don’t like festivals or loud places, what do you like?”
he gave her a sidelong glance, as if deciding whether to answer. “quiet places. like the library.”
“oh, so you did like the library,” she teased, her eyes sparkling.
he shook his head, a faint smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. “i liked that it was quiet.”
“and because it had me,” she joked, “and what else? besides quiet places?”
he was quiet for a moment, his gaze drifting to the horizon where the sun hung low, casting long shadows across the field. “baseball,” he said eventually. “obviously.”
“obviously,” she echoed with a playful smile. “what else?”
“you’re really nosy,” he said, though his tone lacked any real bite.
“i prefer ‘curious,’” she said with a shrug. “come on, there’s gotta be more to you than baseball and quiet places.”
he didn’t respond right away, and for a moment, she thought he might not answer at all. but then he said, almost reluctantly, “music.”
her eyes lit up. “really? what kind?”
“depends,” he said, turning the ball in his hands. “mostly calm stuff. acoustic, sometimes jazz.”
“same!” she said excitedly, leaning forward. “do you play anything?”
he glanced at her, his expression unreadable. “guitar. a little, a friend is helping me.”
“seriously?” she asked, her excitement growing. “that’s really cool. i tried to play piano in elementary.. but let's just say i'm not too good with two hands and multitasking.”
"well, guess it’s a good thing breathing only takes one set of lungs."
“you're mean.”
“i prefer honest.”
“what about singing?” she asked again, her voice softer now.
he raised an eyebrow. “what about it?”
“do you sing?”
he shook his head. “not really.”
“not really or not at all?”
“not at all,” he said firmly, though there was a faint glimmer of amusement in his eyes.
“hm, interesting.” she mumbled under her breath, as he looked at her for a bit, and then stood up, dusting the dirt off his tracks and walking back to the field.
“so, what’s your plan? just… keep throwing balls at a net until sunset?”
“pretty much,” he said, glancing at her. “unless you’ve got a better idea.”
“are you admitting to wanting to be in my company?”
“no, i'm simply taking your offer from yesterday. you know, if i ever need help venturing around.”
“oh, did i say that?”
“you compared yourself to dor-”
“it's a rhetorical question!” her cheeks warmed up, at the realisation of her random 'boldness' from the previous day.
“but.. fair enough,” she shrugged, “in that case, i might have a better idea or a few.” she said, her grin widening mischievously.
he raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical but willing to entertain her suggestion. “oh yeah? let’s hear it.”
“well, it’s not much of a plan yet,” she admitted, resting her chin on her knees. “but you could hang out with your beloved library-worker-plus-her-who's-mysteriously-at-the-field-every-day-now-turned-friend, later. you know, after you’re done being all serious and athletic.”
he paused, the ball in his hand, and looked at her fully for a moment. “hang out?”
“yeah,” she said casually, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “you’re bored and free, i’m bored and free… why not?”
he considered her for a moment, his expression unreadable. “you’re pretty straightforward, you know that?”
she grinned, unfazed. “pretty? check. straightforward? definitely check. so yeah, what do you say?”
“i’ll think about it,” he said, turning back to the net.
“wow,” she said, pretending to be offended. “that’s the most noncommittal answer and rejection i’ve ever heard.”
he smirked slightly, not looking at her. “better than a no.”
“fine.” she said with a shrug, leaning back on her hands.
they fell into a comfortable silence after that, the rhythmic thwack of the ball hitting the net filling the air. the sun hung lower in the sky now, casting long shadows across the field and painting everything in shades of gold and orange.
eventually, the guy had straightened up, stretching his arms over his head. He glanced over at y/n, who was still sitting in the grass, absentmindedly twisting a strand of hair around her finger as she watched the sky.
“you’re still here,” he said, his tone more surprised than accusatory.
“oh you're done!” she replied, smiling up at him. “and yeah, of course, i was waiting for your answer.”
he shook his head slightly, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. “you're not gonna leave unless i say no, are you?”
“glad to know you're catching up! but i know you were never gonna say no, if you had a choice too.” her face lit up instantly, her grin so bright it could’ve rivaled the setting sun. “i promise i won’t be too annoying, by the way.”
“somehow, i don’t believe that,” he said, though there was no real bite to his words.
she laughed, springing to her feet and brushing the grass off her skirt. “you’ll survive. come on, let’s go, baseball boy.”
he rolled his eyes but followed her off the field, the faintest hint of a smile still lingering on his lips.
“call me a creep,” she said with a grin, glancing back at him as he tried to catch up with her. “but i did see a messy stack of crumpled music sheets under your backpack the other day. so i know you're not good at lying.”
seungmin froze mid-step, his eyes narrowing slightly as he processed her words. he stopped walking, turning his head slowly to look at her with a mixture of suspicion and amusement.
“you what?” he asked, voice laced with disbelief but not quite sharp.
y/n stopped a few paces ahead of him, spinning around to face him with an innocent shrug and a playful grin. “you heard me.” she leaned slightly toward him as if to emphasize her point.
he blinked at her, “you really are a creep.”
“hey!” she exclaimed, laughing as she placed a hand over her chest in mock offense. “i wasn’t snooping or anything. i just.. happened to see it while you were busy.”
“you just happened to notice crumpled music sheets under my backpack? that’s oddly specific.”
“call it observational skills,” she said matter-of-factly, tilting her head as she smiled at him again. “besides, you’re dodging the point.”
“which is?” he asked, folding his arms across his chest.
“you’re not good at lying,” she said, her tone teasing but her eyes sparkling with curiosity. “you said you didn’t play anything? but clearly, you’ve got something going on with music.”
he stared at her for a moment, his expression unreadable. she could tell he was debating whether or not to admit anything. finally, he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked off to the side while they walked slower.
“it’s not a big deal,” he muttered, his voice quieter now.
she raised an eyebrow, her grin softening into something more genuine. “clearly, it’s a big enough deal that you’re hiding it.”
“it’s just.. something i mess around with sometimes,” he said, still avoiding her gaze. “nothing serious.”
“mess around with?” she echoed, “like ..writing? playing? singing?”
“all of the above,” he admitted reluctantly, his voice barely audible.
“that's really cool, you know.”
“it’s not,” he said quickly, looking genuinely embarrassed now. “it’s just something i do when i’m bored.”
“doesn’t matter,” she said with a shake of her head. “it’s still cool. and honestly, it makes so much sense now.”
“what does?”
“why you’re so good at reading people,” she said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “music’s all about emotions, right? you must have a knack for it.”
he blinked at her, clearly caught off guard by her logic. “…that’s a stretch.”
“is it?” she asked, tilting her head as she looked at him again. “come on, admit it. you’re secretly a genius, aren’t you?”
he rolled his eyes, but there was a faint flush on his cheeks now, barely visible in the dimming light. “you’re really weird, you know that?”
“and you’re really deflecting,” she said, grinning as she nudged his arm with her shoulder.
silence. the field was quiet, as the pair finally exited through the rusty old gates.
“i’m not hiding it or anything,” he said after a long pause. “it’s just something i don’t really talk about. that’s all.”
she nodded, her smile softening into something more understanding. “i get it. but for the record, i think it's a great hobby. you don’t have to hide it around me.”
he glanced at her then, his expression unreadable for a moment before he let out a quiet chuckle.
the walk was simple. the quiet of the small town wrapping around them like a warm blanket. the golden-orange glow of streetlights lit up the pathway in patches, casting soft shadows as the two strolled side by side. the occasional passerby—an older man walking his dog or a young couple holding hands—added a gentle hum of life to the evening, but it was mostly just the two of them.
y/n kicked at a stray pebble on the sidewalk, the sound of it skittering ahead breaking the silence. she looked over at seungmin, who was walking with his hands in his pockets, his shoulders relaxed but his face unreadable.
“you walk like you have all the time in the world.”
he raised an eyebrow at her. “and you walk like you’re about to challenge someone to a race.”
“funny you should say that,” she grinned, already picking up her pace. “because i was just thinking—”
“y/n, no,” he said immediately, his tone flat but his eyes narrowing as if he already knew where this was going.
“oh, come on!” she laughed, already a few steps ahead of him now. she spun around to face him, walking backward as she pointed toward the distant outline of the bus stop up ahead. “race you to the bus stop. loser owes the winner a snack!”
“i’m not racing you,” he said, shaking his head.
“scared you’ll lose?” she taunted, her grin widening.
he let out a small sigh, running a hand through his hair. “considering i'm the least athletic, y-” he mumbled to himself.
“fine,” she said, throwing her hands up dramatically. “guess i’ll just win by default, then!”
with that, she turned and took off, her laughter trailing behind her as she sprinted toward the bus stop.
seungmin stood there for a second, watching her with an incredulous look before muttering under his breath, “unbelievable.” despite himself, he started jogging after her, his strides quickly closing the gap between them.
she reached the bus stop just a second before him, her chest heaving as she laughed and turned to face him. “looks like you owe me—”
“nothing,” he interrupted, standing just a few feet away, barely out of breath. “you cheated.”
“what?” she exclaimed, her hands flying to her hips. “how did i cheat?”
“you gave yourself a head start,”
“excuses, excuses,” she said, waving him off as she leaned against the bus stop pole. “a loss is a loss, seungmin.”
before he could reply, the bus pulled up, its headlights cutting through the dim light. the doors hissed open, and y/n wasted no time, darting inside with the same energy as before. “i call the window seat!” she called over her shoulder.
seungmin followed her at a more relaxed pace, shaking his head. “you’re a child,” he muttered as he climbed the steps.
“aren't we all?”
inside, the bus was mostly empty, save for a small group of middle schoolers sitting near the front. they were chatting animatedly, their voices a mix of excitement and laughter. she had already claimed her spot by the window, her bag plopped down on her lap as she looked out at the darkening sky.
“don’t just stand there,” she said, looking up at him with a teasing smile. “sit.”
he sighed, sliding into the seat beside her. “you’re really full of energy today.”
“always am,” she replied cheerfully, leaning her head against the window as the bus started moving.
the middle schoolers noticed them then, their curious eyes flicking toward the older pair. one of the boys leaned forward, his face lighting up as he addressed the girl. “are you guys dating?”
seungmin nearly choked on his own breath, his head snapping toward the kid in disbelief.
y/n, however, paused, then shaking her head and senses back. “we’re friends.”
“really?” the boy asked, tilting his head. “you look like you’re dating.”
“we’re not,” seungmin said firmly, though his voice lacked its usual sharpness.
another girl from the group leaned in, grinning. “but you’d make a cute couple!”
“i swear, all kids this age only talk about crushes and dating..” he mumbled silently.
“see?” she said, nudging him with her elbow. “even kids think we’re cute together.”
“don’t encourage them.”
she laughed again, turning back to the kids. “what about you guys? why are you out so late?”
“we had cram school,” one of them replied, his tone dramatic. “it’s the worst.”
y/n gasped in mock horror, clasping her hands together. “cram school? at your age? you poor things.”
the kids laughed, clearly enjoying her playful energy. “do you go to uni?” one of the girls asked.
“yup,” she said, nodding. “and i work part-time at the library, too. it’s fun, but uni is… a lot.”
“you work at a library?” the boy from earlier asked. “that’s so cool!”
“not as cool as you think,” she said with a wink. “but it has its moments.”
as the conversation continued, seungmin found himself watching her more than he intended to. the way her eyes lit up as she talked to the kids, the easy way she laughed and made them feel comfortable—it was… nice. she had this warmth about her, this effortless ability to make people smile.
he didn’t realize he was staring until one of the kids pointed at him. “what about you, mister? what do you do?”
“baseball,” he said simply, his gaze flicking away from her as he addressed the group.
“whoa, really? are you on a team?”
“not really an official one,” he said, his tone calm but polite. “but it's with my uni friends.”
“that’s so cool!” the kids chorused, their admiration genuine.
“looks like you’ve got some fans.”
he rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the faint smile that tugged at his lips. “you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
“absolutely,”
as the bus continued down the quiet streets, the group fell into a comfortable rhythm, the kids’ chatter filling the space. and though seungmin wasn’t much of a talker, he found himself joining in, answering their questions and even cracking a joke or two.
she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, her smile softening as she watched him interact with the kids. for someone who claimed to be reserved, he had a way of connecting with people when he let his guard down.
by the time the bus reached their stop, the middle schoolers waved goodbye with big smiles, their energy still high.
“see you around!” one of them called as they hopped off.
“bye!” y/n had replied, waving back enthusiastically.
as the two of them stepped off the bus, the quiet of the town greeted them once more. she stretched her arms above her head, a content sigh escaping her lips. “come on,” she skipped quickly.
“so,” seungmin said, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets and giving her a skeptical look. “where exactly are we going? you never actually said. are you sure you’re not kidnapping me?”
“if i were kidnapping you, wouldn’t i have tied you up and thrown you in the bus trunk or something?”
he tilted his head, pretending to think. “you’ve clearly never kidnapped anyone before. that’s not how it works.”
“oh, you’re an expert now?” she shot back, her grin widening as she glanced over her shoulder at him.
“i’ve watched enough movies to know you’re doing it wrong,” he deadpanned, his lips twitching upward.
“good to know.” she gave him a mock salute before skipping a little farther down the street. “come on! i know a great street food cart around here. you’re not afraid of trying new things, are you?”
he raised an eyebrow as he followed her. “i think i’ll survive. lead the way, sunshine.”
they stopped at a small street food cart nestled on a quiet corner, the warm smell of grilled meat and savory spices filling the air. a cheerful elderly vendor greeted them with a smile, his weathered hands busy flipping skewers on the grill. the small counter was lined with colorful condiments, sauces, and steaming bowls of rice.
“ah, young love!” the vendor teased as they approached. “out for a date, y/n?”
y/n's cheeks flushed, but she recovered quickly, laughing as she leaned her elbows on the counter. “not a date. just two people enjoying good food.”
“hmm, that’s what they all say,” the man said with a wink, handing her a menu.
seungmin sighed, shaking his head. “we’re not—”
“shh,” she interrupted, whispering, nudging him with her elbow. “let the man think what he wants. who knows, we might even get a discount.”
he gave her a look but didn’t argue, instead glancing at the menu she was holding. “what’s good here?”
“everything,” she said with a grin, handing it to him. “but if i had to pick, the japchae and chicken skewers are my favorites.”
he nodded, ordering exactly what she suggested while y/n added a few other things to their order. as they waited, she leaned back against the cart, looking up at the star-dotted sky.
“you’re not from around here, are you?” seungmin asked suddenly, his voice breaking the comfortable silence.
she shook her head, still gazing upward. “nope.. well not exactly. had to move here after elementary. my grandparents live here, though. i’ve been staying with them.”
“must be nice,” he said, his tone soft. “having family nearby.”
she smiled at that, turning to face him. “yeah. they’re great. super nosy, though. if they knew i was out with you right now, they’d probably be interrogating me over dinner later.”
“oh, so i’m a topic of conversation now?” he teased, one corner of his mouth quirking up.
“only because they’re obsessed with matchmaking,” she replied, rolling her eyes fondly. “they're caring, though. they just.. want me to be happy.”
he studied her for a moment, his gaze lingering on the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled. “you seem happy.”
“i try to be,” she said simply, her voice quiet but steady, though there was an unfamiliar flicker in her eyes as she blinked it away. “life’s too short not to find little things to smile about, you know?”
before he could respond, the vendor handed them their food, and y/n immediately brightened, clapping her hands together. “perfect timing! let’s eat.”
they found a bench nearby, the soft glow of a lamppost casting a golden halo over their little spot. she handed him his share of the food before digging into her own, her face lighting up with every bite.
“this is so good,” she said around a mouthful of cold noodles, earning a laugh from seungmin.
“you’ve got sauce on your face,” he pointed out, gesturing to the corner of his own mouth.
“where?” she asked, swiping at her face with her sleeve.
“other side,” he said, leaning forward slightly. when she still missed it, he sighed, pulling a napkin from the bag and reaching over to wipe it off himself. “honestly, you’re worse than a kid.”
she froze for a second, her cheeks warming as his fingers brushed her skin. “thanks,” she mumbled, her voice softer than usual.
he pulled back quickly, clearing his throat as he sat up straighter. “you’re welcome.”
they ate in comfortable silence for a while, the sounds of the town around them—distant conversations, the hum of passing cars—filling the gaps. every now and then, seungmin would glance at her out of the corner of his eye, watching the way her face lit up as she talked about her favorite foods or how she waved enthusiastically at strangers passing by.
“you’re really… outgoing,” he said finally, his tone thoughtful.
“is that a bad thing?”
“no,” he said quickly, shaking his head. “it’s just.. different. in a good way.”
her smile softened, and she looked down at her hands. “thanks. i think?”
he shrugged, taking another bite of his food. “don’t let it go to your head.”
she laughed, the sound light and musical, and he found himself smiling despite himself. for someone so different from him, she was surprisingly easy to be around.
she leaned back on the bench, her chopsticks idly stirring the remaining japchae sauce in her container. her eyes sparkled with curiosity as she turned toward seungmin, who was quietly munching on a chicken skewer.
“so,” she began, her tone playful yet pointed. “you said you did play the guitar right?”
he paused mid-bite, his brows furrowing slightly as he glanced at her. “why does it sound like an interrogation?”
“because it is,” she replied, grinning. “i mean, you didn’t mention it until i asked you. oh and what’s the deal with the music sheets under your backpack the other day? planning to start a band or something?”
he huffed a laugh, shaking his head. “hardly. i’m just.. messing around. nothing serious.”
“messing around?” she echoed, her head tilting slightly as she scrutinized him. “come on, min. you don’t just carry music sheets around for no reason. what are you working on?”
he shifted uncomfortably, avoiding her gaze by focusing on the skewer in his hand. “i’m not working on anything. i just play a little when i have time. that’s all.”
she squinted at him, clearly unconvinced. “you’re being suspiciously vague.”
“maybe because there’s nothing more to say,” he countered, raising an eyebrow at her.
“oh, there’s definitely more to say,” she retorted, leaning closer as if trying to read his expression better. “do you write songs? or are you just playing covers? be honest—are you secretly a rockstar?”
he rolled his eyes, but there was a faint smile tugging at his lips. “definitely not a rockstar. and no, i’m not writing songs. i barely know enough to play properly as it is.”
“barely know enough?” she repeated, her tone skeptical. “you strike me as the type who’d quietly get really good at something and then pretend you’re just ‘okay’ at it.”
he let out a short laugh, shaking his head. “i’m really not that good. i’m just learning the basics. chords, strumming patterns, that kind of stuff.”
“that’s still cool,” she said earnestly, her face softening. “everyone starts somewhere. are you teaching yourself?”
“yeah,” he admitted, his voice quieter now. “i found an old guitar in the storage room at home and thought i’d give it a try. it’s.. relaxing.”
she smiled at that, leaning back against the bench. “music is good for that. it’s like.. this little world you can escape to, you know?”
“music is.. kind of magic, don’t you think?” she said, her voice tinged with awe. “like, it’s not just sounds. it’s emotion. it’s stories. it’s—” she paused, searching for the right word, “—connection. you can listen to a song in a language you don’t even understand, and still feel it. isn’t that amazing? like, how can a few notes and some words make you feel like that?”
she tilted her head back, staring up at the sky as she continued, her voice softening but growing no less passionate. “and it’s not just the big, dramatic moments, either. it’s the little ones, like how a single chord can make your chest ache, or how a melody can take you back to a memory you thought you’d forgotten. it’s so… alive. like it has this way of pulling you in, making you feel something you didn’t even know you were missing.”
he had just been listening, watching her as she spoke, but she didn’t seem to notice.
“and it’s so personal,” she said, her voice quieter now. “everyone has their own song, you know? something that feels like it’s just for them, like it knows them in a way no one else does. that’s what i love about it. music isn’t just one thing. it’s so many things, all at once. it’s chaos and comfort and beauty and sadness. it’s… everything.”
she exhaled, a small, almost sheepish smile crossing her face as she looked at him. “sorry, i’m rambling. i just—when i think about it, i can’t help it. it’s like… music’s the closest thing we have to magic.”
he glanced at her, surprised by how sincere she sounded. it was quiet for a moment, until he spoke. “do you?”
“hm?” that had gotten her attention, though the air felt slightly thicker now.
“i mean, you said earlier that you can't multitask. despite how hard i find it to believe- what i meant to ask was if you sang.. or tried playing after that or not.”
the girl only shifted her gaze and paused for a bit, exhaling as she smiled briefly again, “i did, try to play the guitar, in middle school. but i just kinda gave up after that,” she chuckled awkwardly. “and as for singing? i just hum here and there, but nothing professional or serious.”
“the way you talk about it says otherwise.”
“how do i talk about it?”
he tilted his head, studying her with an intensity that made her shift slightly in her seat. then, he smiled, soft and a little disbelieving, as if he couldn’t quite figure her out.
“you talk about it like it’s your whole world,” he started, his voice quieter, almost reflective. “like, when you mentioned music, your tone changed. it’s.. different. it’s not just words with you — it’s like your entire energy shifts. you sound so.. alive. like you’re describing something that’s a part of you, something you feel in your bones.”
he paused, glancing down at his hands as if he were trying to piece the rest together. “it’s in the way you look when you talk about it, too. you get this light in your eyes, like you’re remembering something important. like you’re somewhere else entirely—like music isn’t just something you like. it’s something you need. like it’s this space where nothing else matters, you know? like it’s a place that’s just yours.”
she blinked, caught off guard by the weight of his words. he ran a hand through his hair, clearing his throat as though realizing how much he’d said. but then, as if he couldn’t help himself, he continued, his gaze locking onto hers again.
his words hung in the air, heavy and quiet, as if they were something fragile. “am i wrong?” he asked finally, though he didn’t sound entirely convinced that he could be.
“for a baseball guy you're quite the poet.”
“that's not an answer.”
“i didn't mean to answer.”
“well?”
“well what?”
“am i?”
“you're not wrong. but music is just something.. i adore. like everyone else! that's all that there is to it.” she pursed her lips, getting up with the wooden bowl that was once full of japchae, to walk to the stall again and hand it to the man with a smile. seungmin followed shortly after, feeling slightly curious but he shook it off.
“seungmin!” she called out. “come on!”
then they were on the street again. she walked slightly ahead, her steps light and playful, occasionally skipping over cracks in the sidewalk. seungmin followed at a slower, more measured pace, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket.
“so,” she said, turning her head slightly to glance at him with a bright smile. “since we’re walking and have time, i think we should play twenty questions.”
he raised an eyebrow. “that’s a dangerous game.”
“not if you answer honestly,” she replied with a shrug, her grin widening. “come on, it’ll be fun. i’ll start. what’s your favorite color?”
he paused, thinking. “blue, i guess.”
“safe choice,” she teased. “very original.”
he rolled his eyes. “alright, my turn. why are you always so upbeat?”
“hey, that’s not a yes-or-no question!” she protested, narrowing her eyes playfully.
“neither is ‘what’s your favorite color,’” he pointed out, smirking.
she huffed, crossing her arms as she walked. “fine. i guess i’m just naturally optimistic? or maybe i just don’t see the point in being gloomy all the time. life’s too short to be grumpy.”
“are you calling me grumpy?” he asked, his tone mock-offended.
“well, you are kind of the poster child for ‘brooding baseball guy,’” she quipped, flashing him a cheeky smile.
he let out a short laugh. “i’m not brooding.”
“sure you’re not,” she replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “alright, your turn again.”
he glanced at her, his curiosity piqued. “what made you want to work at the library?”
she tilted her head, thinking. “well, i’ve always loved books. and libraries are… peaceful, you know? there’s something magical about being surrounded by so many stories. plus, it’s a good excuse to read a lot while getting paid for it.”
“that makes sense,” he said, nodding. “what’s your favorite book, then?”
“oh, that’s impossible to answer!” she exclaimed, throwing her hands up dramatically. “there are too many. but if i had to pick.. maybe white nights. classic, romantic, sad. it’s got everything.”
“romantic, hm?” he teased, a small smirk tugging at his lips.
she shot him a look. “don’t make fun of me! it’s a great book.”
“i’m not making fun,” he said, raising his hands in mock surrender. “i just didn’t take you for a romantic. or someone who liked reading sad love stories.”
“well you'll be surprised,” she said. “i like reading everything. it's art. whether sad, or happy, or anything else.”
he noticed the shift in her tone and decided not to press further. instead, he changed the subject. “alright, my turn again. what’s something most people don’t know about you?”
she thought for a moment, a mischievous glint returning to her eyes. “i have a terrible sense of direction. like, really bad. if i didn’t have my phone, i’d probably get lost on my way home.”
he snorted. “good to know. i’ll make sure to never follow you if we’re lost.”
“rude,” she said, sticking her tongue out at him. “my turn. same question. what’s something most people don’t know about you?”
he hesitated, his gaze dropping to the ground. “well, most people don’t know that i’ve always wanted a pet, like a dog. a big one. like, a golden retriever or something.” he chuckled softly at the thought. “my friends say i resemble a dog. but can't put up with one. i guess it’s kind of random, but i don’t know. i’ve always imagined having a dog, like, after i’m out of school, you know? just someone to come home to, someone who’s always excited to see me.”
he paused, a small, almost wistful smile tugging at his lips. “but i never really had the chance to get one, with school and everything. plus, i’m always busy with baseball or music, and i feel like i’d end up neglecting it. so… it’s one of those things that kind of stayed on the back burner.”
she had been watching him intently, her gaze fixed on him for a moment longer than usual. he didn’t seem to notice, too caught up in his own thoughts.
“hmm,” she said, breaking the silence with a light laugh. “you’d be a good pup owner, i think. you seem like the type.”
he raised an eyebrow at her, the mischievous grin returning. “what’s that supposed to mean?”
she just shrugged, her lips curling into a smile. “nothing, just.. you’ve got this calm about you. i don’t know. you’d probably spoil it.”
his grin widened, but he didn’t reply right away. instead, he sat back and looked up at the sky, clearly lost in his own thoughts for a moment.
“i see it though.”
he raises an eyebrow.
“the resemblance of you, physically, and in another way, to a dog.” she spoke, her gaze tracing his features. “you might seem mysterious to a stranger, and me, sadly, but i get a feeling you're really happy and playful around people you're close with.”
“and as for physically, when you walk like this, your hair jumps and it actually looks like puppy ears. overall your face, especially with that wide smile that you try to avoid in front of me,” she laughed, “makes you seem more like a dog. playful. familiar. friendly.. and comforting.”
he stared at her, stunned into silence for a moment. her words had caught him completely off guard, and he wasn’t sure how to respond. finally, he let out a laugh—soft, genuine, and a little disbelieving.
“well, that’s… definitely not what i expected to hear today,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, a faint flush creeping up his cheeks. “i don’t know if i should be offended or flattered.”
“flattered,” she replied without missing a beat, a playful glint in her eyes. “dogs are great!”
“i can’t believe you just compared me to a dog. you’re really out here calling me mysterious and playful in the same sentence.”
“it’s true, though,” she insisted, crossing her arms with a smug grin. “i’m pretty good at reading people.”
“clearly,” he said, his tone teasing, though there was a warmth in his gaze as he looked at her. then, after a pause, he added, “you know, no one’s ever said anything like that about me before. it’s.. weirdly nice to hear.”
she tilted her head, her smile softening. “you’re welcome.”
he chuckled again, shaking his head. “alright, since you’re so good at reading people, what does that make you?”
her eyes lit up at the challenge, but she hesitated for a moment, her expression growing thoughtful. “hmm.. i guess you’ll just have to figure that out for yourself,” she said with a sly smile, leaving him to wonder as she walked further and quicker, the conversation still lingering between them.
they walked in comfortable silence for a moment, the sound of their footsteps echoing softly. the quiet of the town felt almost intimate, like they were the only two people in the world.
“where are we going?” he finally asked, watching as she spun around to face him briefly, walking backward with an impish grin.
“you’ll see,” she replied, her voice sing-song. “it’s a surprise.”
“i don’t like surprises,” he muttered, though there was no real bite to his words.
“well, you’ll like this one,” she countered, skipping ahead. “trust me.”
the library loomed ahead, its lights dimmed, the glass doors reflecting the moonlight. seungmin frowned. “wait. isn’t the library closed?”
“of course, it is,” she said casually, fishing a key out of her pocket. “but i work here, remember?”
“that doesn’t sound very legal, miss librarian.”
she laughed softly, “relax, mr. rule follower. felix closed up about half an hour ago, and i have permission to be here after hours. perks of the job.”
“okay,” she said, breaking the silence. “last question before we get there. what’s your happiest memory?”
he looked at her, caught off guard by the question. “happiest memory? that’s a tough one.”
“well, think about it,” she urged, her voice soft but insistent. “it doesn’t have to be big. just something that made you really happy.”
he thought for a moment, his gaze distant. “probably my first baseball game as a kid. my dad and grandpa took me. i remember the crowd, the excitement, the smell of popcorn. it was perfect.”
she smiled warmly. “that sounds amazing. thanks for sharing.”
he glanced at her, his expression unreadable. “what about you? what’s your happiest memory?”
she paused, her steps slowing. “probably… baking cookies with my mom when i was little. she’d let me lick the spoon, and we’d make such a mess, but it was always so much fun.”
her voice had taken on a wistful tone, and he found himself studying her face, the way her eyes softened with the memory.
“you’re really close to your mom, huh?” he asked gently.
“yeah,” she said softly, her smile bittersweet, as she didn't say more.
before he could say anything else, she stopped abruptly and turned to him with a grin. “we’re here.”
he looked up, realizing they had arrived at the library. the sight of it felt almost surreal in the quiet of the night.
“come on,” she said, pulling out her key and unlocking the door. “i’ve got something to show you.”
he followed her inside, the familiar scent of books and polished wood enveloping them. the quiet was even deeper now, the kind of silence that felt sacred. she flipped on a small desk lamp near the entrance, its warm glow casting long shadows across the shelves.
“you said you write and like literature, right? so what made you start writing in the first place?” seungmin asks her.
she paused mid-step as they walked through the library aisle, the soft glow of her phone flashlight illuminating the dust particles that floated lazily in the air. she turned her head to glance at seungmin, her expression thoughtful, as if the question had unlocked a memory she hadn’t revisited in a while.
“wow,” she said, breaking into a small smile, “that’s a deep question. you’re really pulling out the big guns tonight.”
seungmin leaned casually against the nearest bookshelf, crossing his arms with a faint smirk. “what can i say? i’m curious. you seem like the type who’d have a good story behind it.”
“flattery will get you nowhere,” she teased, sticking her tongue out at him. but then her expression softened as she considered his question more seriously. “i guess… it all started when i was little. mum loved stories. she’d always read to me before bed—fairy tales, myths, even poems sometimes. and she’d make up her own stories too, ones that no one else could tell like she did.”
seungmin nodded, his gaze steady on her as she spoke. he didn’t interrupt, sensing there was more to this than just bedtime stories.
“she had this way of making the ordinary feel magical,” she continued, her voice quieter now, as if she were speaking more to herself than to him. “when i was about seven, i remember her telling me that everyone has a story worth sharing. that stuck with me. writing became my way of… i don’t know, capturing moments, feelings, the things i was afraid i’d forget.”
there was a brief silence, the kind that felt heavy but not uncomfortable. seungmin tilted his head slightly, his voice softer than usual. “and you still feel that way. that everyone has a story.”
she turned to him fully, her lips curving into a small, sincere smile. “yeah, i do. even if someone thinks their life is boring or unimportant, there’s always something unique about how they see the world. i think that’s worth writing down.”
his expression shifted slightly, his usual neutral demeanor replaced with something warmer, more introspective. “that’s… a nice way to look at it.”
she chuckled lightly, breaking the intensity of the moment. “you sound surprised.”
“i’m not,” he said, shrugging one shoulder. “it just makes sense. it sounds like you.”
she blinked, taken aback for a second, before a faint flush crept up her cheeks. “well, thanks, i guess. so, mr. musician slash baseball guy, your turn. what made you pick up the guitar?” she said, still walking around the dark library, slowly, as he followed behind.
seungmin shifted his weight, suddenly looking a little sheepish. “honestly? i think it started because i wanted to impress someone.”
she raised an eyebrow, her curiosity piqued. “oh? do tell.”
he let out a small laugh, shaking his head. “it’s not that exciting. back in middle school, i had this.. huge crush on someone. she played piano, and i thought maybe if i learned guitar, we could do some duet thing.”
she burst into laughter, the sound light and infectious. “that’s so cute! did it work?”
“not at all,” he admitted, his own laugh mingling with hers. “i was terrible back then. and she moved schools before i even got the courage to play in front of her.”
she grinned at him, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “well, at least you stuck with it. now you’re here, a brooding baseball player with a secret musical side. very intriguing.”
“brooding again?” he teased, narrowing his eyes at her playfully.
“hey, it’s your aesthetic,” she said with a mock-serious shrug. “don’t fight it.”
they both laughed, the sound echoing softly through the quiet library. after a moment, she nudged his arm. “but seriously, i think it’s cool that you play. even if you started for, uh, questionable reasons.”
“questionable?” he repeated, pretending to be offended.
“okay, fine, romantic reasons,” she corrected, grinning. “but you must’ve kept playing for more than just that, right?”
he hesitated, looking down at the worn wooden floor beneath them. “yeah. after a while, it stopped being about anyone else. i started to enjoy it for what it was. there’s something calming about it, you know? like it’s just you and the music.”
her smile softened, her voice gentle. “i get that. music has a way of making everything else disappear, even if it’s just for a little while.”
her back and his chest collided suddenly, when she paused her footsteps to look around. their eyes met briefly, and for a moment, the space between them felt charged with an unspoken understanding. then she cleared her throat, breaking the moment with a grin. “alright, enough with the deep talk. we’re here.”
she gestured to a row of shelves, her excitement bubbling up again. seungmin watched as she reached up, pulling down a few old, dusty books and placing them on a nearby table, after turning the lights on.
“these,” she said, running her fingers over the faded covers, “belonged to my mom. she loved music almost as much as she loved literature.”
he approached the table, his curiosity evident as he looked at the books. “why are you showing me this?”
“because,” she said, her tone soft but earnest, “you’re still learning, right? these might help. and i don’t know, it just felt right to share them with you.”
seungmin glanced at her, a flicker of something unreadable crossing his face. “bold of you to assume i'm gonna take something that belongs to someone who has more passion for music than i do.”
“bold of you to assume i'm letting you leave without it.”
she smiled, softly. “these books, seungmin, helped her a lot. now, it's no use to her because she's learnt all from them. so, giving this to you seems as the best option, especially when compared to letting them catch dust in these shelves.”
seungmin picked up one of the books, flipping through the yellowed pages. the notes in the margins and the slight creases on the edges gave it a sense of history. he hesitated, then glanced back at her. “you know, you make it sound like this is some kind of inheritance or something. like i’m supposed to treat this like a family heirloom.”
she chuckled lightly. “well, maybe it is, in a way. but if anyone’s going to appreciate it, i figured it’d be you.”
he tilted his head, giving her a curious look. “why me? there are probably a hundred other people who’d jump at the chance to take something like this. people who might actually deserve it.”
her gaze softened as she met his eyes. “because you care,” she said simply. “even if you try to hide it, i can see it. music means something to you. and i think that’s enough of a reason.”
he looked at her for a moment, the words sinking in. then, with a small smirk, he set the book back on the table. “you’re really good at guilt-tripping, you know that?”
“it’s not guilt-tripping!” she said, crossing her arms with a playful smile. “it’s… persuasion.”
seungmin let out a breath, shaking his head in amusement. “fine. but only if you let me return them when i’m done. deal?”
“deal,” she said, her smile widening. “but i don’t think you’ll want to give them back. just saying.”
he laughed, picking up the book again and tucking it under his arm. “you really don’t let people argue with you, do you?”
“not when i know i’m right,” she quipped, earning a small shake of his head and a smile as he started for the door.
“hey,” he softly reached out, “thank you.”
she turned to him, her grin returning. “you’re welcome. but you owe me now.”
he chuckled softly, shaking his head. “what do i owe you?”
“hmmm,” she pretended to think. “how about.. a song? once you learn something new from these books, you have to play it for me.”
his lips quirked up in a small, reluctant smile. “deal.”
seungmin carried the stack of books they’d borrowed from the library, his expression as neutral as ever, but there was an unmistakable warmth to his presence. she walked beside him, hands shoved into the pockets of her jacket, her usual smile tugging at the corners of her lips.
“thanks for helping me with the books,” she said, glancing sideways at him.
“no problem,” he replied casually. then, after a beat, he smirked. “i mean, it’s only fair since you’re sharing your mom’s secret stash with me.”
she chuckled, bumping her shoulder lightly against his. “it’s not really a ‘secret stash.’ it’s just stuff that mattered to her. stuff that matters to me.”
he looked at her, his gaze softer now. “that’s what makes it important.”
her steps faltered slightly, caught off guard by the sincerity in his voice. she recovered quickly, brushing it off with a small laugh. “look at you, mr. philosophical. spending time with me is really rubbing off on you, huh?”
“i think i deserve some credit,” he teased. “i was already pretty deep before.”
“sure,” she said with exaggerated skepticism. “if by ‘deep,’ you mean good at dodging questions about yourself.”
“i answer questions,” he defended, raising an eyebrow at her.
“uh-huh,” she shot back, grinning. “vague answers don’t count.”
their banter was interrupted by the sound of excited chatter. up ahead, near an open lot, a group of kids and a few elderly folks were gathered, their laughter mingling with the occasional crackle of fireworks. sparklers lit up the night, little bursts of light spinning in the hands of children as they ran around, their faces glowing with pure joy.
she slowed her pace, her eyes lighting up as she took in the scene. “oh, that looks so fun.”
“really?” seungmin asked, raising an eyebrow as he followed her gaze. “it’s just sparklers.”
“just sparklers?” she echoed, feigning offense. “excuse me, but sparklers are the most magical thing ever. you clearly don’t understand their charm.”
before he could respond, one of the kids noticed them and waved enthusiastically. “noona! hyung! do you want to play with us?”
her face broke into a wide grin. “of course! seungmin, come on!”
he hesitated, looking a little awkward. “i don’t think—”
“don’t think, just come,” she interrupted, grabbing his wrist and pulling him toward the group. he stumbled slightly but didn’t resist, letting her drag him along.
the kids and elders greeted them warmly, handing them sparklers and showing them where to place their books and bags safely away from the fireworks. y/n immediately lit her sparkler, holding it up and twirling it around with a delighted laugh.
“see?” she said, looking over at seungmin. “magic.”
he couldn’t help but smile at her, even as he reluctantly lit his own sparkler. “if you say so.”
“come on, you have to at least try to have fun,” she teased, stepping closer to him. “look, like this.” she moved her arm in a sweeping motion, drawing a glowing pattern in the air with her sparkler. “isn’t it pretty?”
he watched her, his sparkler momentarily forgotten in his hand. the orange-golden light reflected in her eyes, her face alight with joy. she looked so completely in her element, like the world around her had faded away, and she was just… glowing.
“you’re staring,” one of the elders said suddenly, catching him off guard. his tone was teasing, and his cheeks flushed as he was caught.
“a-ah sorry. i wasn’t,” he lied, quickly focusing on his sparkler. “i was just lost.. in thought!”
“you seem to have feelings for her, don't you?” the ahjussi asked.
“we're just friends.”
“that's what they all say, kid,” the ahjussi laughed, “and that's what i said when i met her, too.” he pointed towards a lady of the same age as him. “she was, is, and always will be everything to me.”
seungmin only glanced between them, gaze softening, and the moment being interrupted by y/n's voice.
“seungmin!” she called, giggling with the kids, “look! we fused all the colors of all the sparklers together and it made a rainbow!”
seungmin could only stare at her with a smile.
“good luck, kid.”
one of the kids ran up to them, holding out a small box of colorful sparklers. “noona, hyung! these ones make a big circle when you spin them really fast!”
y/n took one eagerly, thanking the child before lighting it and spinning it around. she let out a delighted laugh as it created a bright, shimmering circle in the air. “seungmin, try it!”
he took one reluctantly, lighting it and attempting the same motion. his first try was clumsy, earning a giggle from her.
“okay, that was terrible,” she said, stepping closer. “here, let me show you.”
before he could protest, she reached out, her hand brushing against his as she guided his arm. “like this,” she said, her voice softer now. the proximity between them suddenly felt charged, the air around them growing quieter despite the noise of the sparklers and laughter.
he followed her lead, their hands moving together in a smooth arc. the sparkler drew a perfect circle in the air, its light casting a warm glow over their faces.
“there,” she said, her smile bright and triumphant. “much better.”
“thanks to you,” he said, his voice quieter than usual.
their eyes met for a moment, the sparkler’s glow reflecting in both their gazes. it was one of those moments where time seemed to slow, the world around them fading into the background.
then, one of the kids yelled, “noona, hyung! look at this!” breaking the spell. she stepped back, laughing nervously as she turned to watch the child show off their new sparkler trick.
seungmin exhaled softly, a small smile tugging at his lips as he watched her. even in the chaos of sparklers and children’s laughter, she was like a beacon of light, drawing everyone—and him—toward her.
as the night wore on, they stayed with the group, laughing, playing, and creating memories under the starry sky. and though neither of them said it out loud, they both knew this evening would stay with them for a long, long time.
and maybe, just maybe, something shifted in the quiet corners of both their hearts that night.
taglists ୨୧ (mt) @cosmicalily @hyunjiiza @woozarts (st) @vixensss @miyeonna
!! please let me know under this chapter post, or this one, if i forgot you in the taglist, my inactivity made me lose track, i'm really sorry !!
#𐔌 . yani's fics ! ୧#seungmin#seungmin imagines#skz seungmin#skz au#skz imagines#stray kids#skz fanfic#skz hurt/comfort#skz icons#skz ff#skz family#skz minho#skz oc#skz scenarios#skz writing#seungmin fanfic#seungmin oneshot#drabbles#oneshot#skzfluff#skzsmut#skzff#skz#skz x reader#skz fluff#skz smut#hwang hyunjin smut#hyunjin smut#seungmin x reader
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Just saw Canucks piercing jewelry and you can't tell me quinny wouldn't break a little if he saw you with those
I'll fall off a cliff. I didn't realise this was a thing. I should've realised that it's a thing. Of course it's a thing.
He knows you have piercings - he's seen you naked more times than he can count by now. He's feeling you up constantly, he's well aware of which ones you wear and where.
You tend to rotate the same few so it's not something he would ever think about.
You'd seen an ad on your instagram feed while he was on a roadie. He's been having a tough time on a losing streak. He's been facetiming you every single night, just to watch you go about your night. He hasn't been up for much conversation, he's just wanted to see his girl as a reminder of what he's coming home to.
You'd never usually buy something from an ad but this feels sort of targeted.
With how possessive he usually is.. how would he react? It's like a little claiming.. would he lose his mind? If you showed it off while he was away, maybe it'd even help him finish the trip off with a win.
Express delivery it is. He'll be back soon and you need this now.
You're changing your current ones out the minute the piercing arrives. Basically vibrating until he calls you in the night. You'll wear one of his hoodies that you know he loves seeing on you. You'll find an excuse to stretch on the call. Giving him a little glimpse.
You can see him freeze on the screen, you keep playing dumb, just going about your routine. Is he broken? He hasn't said anything. He's usually at least making some noise to let you know he's still there and paying attention.
You quickly glance at the screen to check on him, seeing him adjust himself.
You need him desperate to win and come home and deal with you. Need him to have that extra motivation. You hang up on him. If he's angry he might pull through.
Your phone pings constantly after the call is over. You can see him trying to call you back. Getting increasingly irate with threats about what he's going to do to you. Telling you to pick up the fucking phone. But you won't. Not even when he sends you a video of him jerking up into his fist.
#quinn hughes#qh43#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes blurb#quinn hughes imagine#quinn hughes fanfiction#quinn hughes fic#quinn hughes smut#quinn hughes imagines#quinn hughes x you
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Out of curiosity, what's your exercise routine? Been trying to motivate myself to work out more and it's hard to find a routine that feels good to do every day.
It's nothing super regimented at the moment because I find it's a lot easier to ease myself into routine rather than "just go whole hog day 1 & it doesn't stick and I fall off the horse for a while".
I try to go for a walk every day for at least 20-30 minutes because I like walking & seeing the sights. I did a ton of walking when I was in school / working my office job, just because of how my commute looked. So this is always the easiest first step for me getting back into it, because I'm usually already kind of doing it unless I'm majorly depressed (& getting myself to do it again tends to make me feel less miserable, but Getting Started when you're a sad damp brick is hard sometimes LOL).
I jog every 2 or 3 days if the weather's permissible. I loosely follow one of those "couch to 5K" routines but I take it slower than they want you to because I've got bad lungs and it takes me a little longer to work my way up for cardio. I don't have a very good solution for this when it's winter and the roads are super icy. Makes me wish I had easy public pool access.
I do some low-impact squats because I've got knee problems and I don't want to exacerbate that. I've got an old set of dumbbells and a little sheet it came with showing lifts for different muscle groups. I haven't been using them very much lately because I've been getting a workout shoveling & bringing in firewood & doing other winter type house maintenance!!
I'm not much of an expert & I don't feel especially comfortable offering much in the way of advice. That and I imagine you know your own body / your own current ability better than I do. The best way for me to get started is "think of something easy and low impact you like, do it once or a few times a week, work your way up from there, give yourself permission to keep going if you're missing days". I suppose it also depends what your goal is. I'm not especially interested in losing weight because I like my body, for instance. I want to keep my joints and lungs and heart healthy & I want to be able to carry and lift up my wife easier. (That and I think being burlier would be hot. I'm Wario-maxxing in 2025.)
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Kang No-eul x f!reader| finding you in the games
Pairing: Kang No-eul x f!reader
Warnings: typical violence in squid game
A/n: I will be going feral if people don't write more for her and actually know her personality. This is sadly shorter than I'd like, I promise I'll give her more content. (Also, this is a complete new writing style for me, I hope I did it justice)
Coming back home to the last bit of humanity she has, you. She would immediately feel worry with the lack of presence in the house
Her worry deepens further when she calls out your name and you still don't make your presence be known. Her mind immediately turning to the worst possible scenario
Rushing to your shared bedroom, a wave of despair washing over her when she doesn't see your figure on the bed- or anywhere for that matter
When she finally spots the reason, she wouldn't believe it at first. Seeing the same brown card she held a few minutes ago on your bed
Would definitely blame herself, you were basically a piece of her. Always comforting her at the worst times. It made her be so besotted with you, your sweet smile always helping her. And now you're gone. She wanted to protect you, it was her duty that she set for herself. Feeling so disillusioned that she failed, her expression darkening
Crunching up her somber features as she looked closer and realized you were a player. Could this get any worse?
She knew you well, well enough to know that these games aren't meant for you. You were much too kind for your own good
Her hands palpitating at the thought that she would need to put a bullet in your head
A sigh of relief would be let out when she saw you talking with one of the players trough the black mask she had on. At last she could finally see you again, alive and well (for now)
She would most definitely be a mess of emotions when she holds the sniper in her hand, watching your body flinch as the first gunshot rang out in red light green light
Would she kill you? Would she keep you alive? She only contemplated joining these deplorable games to free miserable people, people like her. If you were so sorrowful that you joined these games, would you want her to shoot?
Ultimately, she would keep you alive if it ever came to that situation, she loves you too much to let go that easily. Not again, she wouldn't. Refusing to believe that killing was the solution for you
Would have a little smile when you successfully finished a game. Proud that you're holding better than she thought
With her higher rank, she'd try and order the circle guards to give you more food in the lunchbox
"Wow, you're lucky. You got so much more food than us!"
Her rank did sadly hinder her from seeing you more often. Usually only being able to see you in the games which made it harder for her to make it known to you that it was her
She'd try her best to position herself near you at all times, feeling elated everytime she saw your soft features. In these death games, she needed to be close to you at all times, eyes dwelling on every injury she could find to see if you needed any help. If you did, a roll of bandages would be found when you sat down on your chosen cot
And if the chance to have you alone came up, she'd take it and use it to the best of her abilities. Pulling off her mask and hearing the surprised gasp of yours as she pulled you to a secluded area. Letting your arms wrap around her body, the weight of your head on her shoulders. Hands brushing your hair as she told you all the information she could, with a few comforting words spilled between them too
That physical contact reminded her of better times, giving her a taste on where you both could be right now. It would give her the motivation to get out, to feel this, to feel you again
#kang no eul#squid game#squid game s2#squid game season 2#squid game x reader#squid game x you#kang no eul x reader#guard 011#guard 011 x reader#f!reader#no eul x reader
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Been rewatching the early Marvel movies and apparently this is the time of my life where I just get re-obsessed with characters I love so here's some random thoughts about Loki/Thor the Dark World:
Why. In the world. In the universe. Did Odin not ask Loki ANY questions when Loki was brought before him for judgement in Dark World? Like, at the BAREST MINIMUM he should have asked where Loki got an ARMY, the last time he'd seen Loki was when Loki fell off the Bifrost and then he vanished for a year and showed back up with the glowstick of destiny and an army that Thor says "are not of Asgard or any world known". ODIN. WHY ARE YOU NOT ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS?!
Like, we are aware that Odin is. partial to giving his kids harsh punishments. He obviously doesn't care about Loki's motives. Like, a good parent would look at their kid who disappeared for a year and then came back insane and be like "hey so what happened to you when you disappeared? you didn't get captured by a super powerful being and tortured into submission did you?" (Thanos tortured Loki I have SOURCES and I WILL cite them upon request) But even a bad parent who was a decent king would wonder how their kid suddenly got an ARMY out of NOWHERE and yet Odin never questions this at all. Even Thor in Avengers at least asks Loki "Who showed you this power? Who controls the would-be king?" (which just shows Thor would honestly be a better king than Odin tbh) but Odin is just like "nah this is not important. imprisoning my son for life and telling him how worthless I think he is is more important in this moment."
I wonder if she'd had more time if maybe Frigga would have been able to get Loki to tell her what happened and if maybe that was part of her goal of visiting him (beyond just, you know, actually being a decent parent who cares about her child and wanting to keep him company) because we know she's clever (she's smarter than Odin good gravy, is there like an age difference between them is he going senile or something) so PERHAPS she thought if she talked to Loki she could puzzle out what had happened to him and find out if there was, you know, a potential universal threat Asgard should be aware of. And like, if she had found out anything what was Odin going to say? He can't actually punish his wife in any meaningful way (lol imagine he tries and she just grabs her two grown sons and leaves, help xD) especially if she found out IMPORTANT INFORMATION that he SHOULD have discovered on his own.
This does kind of highlight an underlying problem with Odin, where he seems to think that Asgard is invincible and is, well, lazy about defending it. Like, I've seen posts about how Loki letting the Frost Giants into Asgard in the first movie is actually him not just showing that Thor is not ready to be king, but also demonstrating that Asgard has dangerous holes in its defenses. Because yeah, Loki can HIDE HIMSELF FROM HEIMDALL and sneak into Asgard. Heck, he can sneak OTHERS into Asgard while he's not even WITH them. That- that is a security threat, because if anyone BESIDES Loki could do that then Asgard could easily be invaded and- wait a second, that happens in The Dark World! The Dark Elves hide themselves from Heimdall and sneak an invasion force into Asgard! Destroying it's defenses and KILLING ITS QUEEN. Like, my goodness, do you think Loki is the only person with these abilities? Are you even trying Odin? At all?
TLDR; Odin is an idiot for not questioning Loki about the Chitauri/where he was for a year between Thor and Avengers, not to mention an awful father and an incompetent king.
#long post#loki#thor#thor the dark world#odin#marvel#this is really just me dunking on odin akjlghjafhgsf#the more I rewatch the movies the more this stands out like#my dude why are you like this#he's multitasking he's being both a bad king and a bad father!#loki in the first thor movie is such a smol overwhelmed bean I want to give him a hug#thor 1 gets so much more interesting when you watch the deleted scenes with loki in them my word#I showed my parents the one where the asgardians made loki king and my mom was like 'THAT WAS TWO MINUTES WHY'D THEY LEAVE IT OUT'#because it was IMPORTANT#like. I'm not saying Loki was making great decisions that whole movie#but he was overwhelmed and highly emotionally compromised and felt trapped#he was doing his best#he's just quiet and doesn't yell his plans to everyone like thor so people suspect he's Up To Something#which might also be a little bit of commentary about how society favors extroverts#anyway#getting deep in these tags at almost 3am about movies that are 10-13 years old wheeeeeee
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Positivity post... and a thank you.
I took this photo on a walk this other morning and intended to send it to a whole bunch of people in their Ask boxes, as a thank you for being amazing/friendly/wonderful/talented etc. And I started making a list of the people and it got above 10, then 20 and then 30, then 40.
I was like 😧 it will take me ALL WEEKEND to send everyone the personalised messages I want to send. So I am doing just one big shout out post.
🌻🌻🌻THANK YOU 🌻🌻🌻
Thank you to those who send me asks - thank you, I don't ignore them on purpose. I usually find them again weeks later and feel awful for forgetting about them. 🌻
Thank you to those of you who tag me in things - the fandom community needs this and it's lovely to see this slowly coming back. Never feel bad or hold back from tagging me - I might forget to do it, or the notification will get lost, but I appreciate it all regardless. 🌻
Thank you to those who engage with what to write weekend posts and send in requests. It helps keeps me focussed and on task - writing for others is always an added motivation. 🌻
Thank you to those who go on reading sprees, leaving a column of your username in my notifications. 🌻
Thank you for all the likes likes and reblogs and replies to posts on fics. 🌻
Thank you to those who go the extra mile and also then kudos and comment on AO3 when the fic is posted there. 🌻
Thank you for drawing fanart of my fics. It still blows me away that this is something that has even happened because HOLY SHIT. 🌻
Thank you for letting me take your ideas and turn them into long fics. 🌻
Thank you for making art and allowing people to base fics off it. 🌻
Thank you for letting me get to know some of you better and ramble at you at all hours of the day and night. 🌻
Thank you for supporting me as I got back into drawing after a 25+ year hiatus. Trying to learn something again that you used to be decent at is an entirely new level of frustration and your grace, humour and advice has been truly appreciated. 🌻
As I get older I try and remember to appreciate the smaller things in life and everything above is something that makes me smile and feel grateful. So thank you again. 🌻
Tagging the people who I was hoping to send a personalised message to this weekend. I hope this suffices instead. 🌻🌻🌻
@phisworld14 @redfurrycat @halestrom @catarina4057 @almostkeenchaos @nixie-deangel @archhis @starfata @tothepayne @celandinebergerac @erudite-raven-apollokid @crooked-jes @nimuetheseawitch @lunamazes @omletlove @mxrcusflint @philcoulson-redtapeninja @iprefervillains @k9effect @yeagrave @the-ace-with-spades @indybob @gwaihiril @beezelarts @themissingmango @jayjay-thejet-plane @bigspoonlttlespoon @film-in-my-soul @jakekazansky @xiaokuer-schmetterling @poetryandpickles @demichrising @sweetcherryflavour @daughterofscotland @flyingfightingfishy @jayjay-plus @karlmschwartz @lucyybradford @spookybibi @ultimate-shipper @dancinginlifeandpoetry @nevergettingoverit @thyknife @sleepy-hyperfixations @oneelleandaneye @needforspeed161 @torchflies @accio-lo-ki @queeredfortakeoff851 @stellarskyes @intrepidjourneys
(This isn't even an exhaustive list, but it was off the top of my head and I know I have yet to get to know some people as I slowly work my way through reading catalogues of people's fics.)
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Buckle up, babes, because I'm about to talk about Valentino a lot.
I've been thinking about Val a lot since me and @starfallisle started writing "Go to Hell for the Company" and I have Opinions about him, because I actually ended up finding him a lot more interesting and fun to write than I expected.
First I'd like to draw attention to this post that @potionorchard wrote about Val and his emotional intelligence, because I definitely agree with it. To summarize it, Valentino is not exactly a smart guy, but he's very emotionally intelligent and knows how to play people based on their emotions and connections to him, which is likely a big factor in how he became an Overlord in the first place.
Valentino is a mean guy, but he's capable of being nice, being kind. He can give people what they want from him, if he thinks it's worth his time and effort to do so. I think a great example of the two major sides of Valentino are his relationship with Angel versus with Vox.
With Angel Dust: Val knows he doesn't have to try with Angel, because he's got him under contract. He doesn't have to put effort into Angel if he doesn't want to, so he's willing to let himself get fed up with Angel and lash out at him. He'll put on his sweeter side when it suits him, but it's not necessary. The Val that Angel knows is likely the Val most people know in the long term. But I think before he was chained down, Angel knew a whole different Valentino. A kind, sweet, maybe even loving Val.
With Vox: I think Vox is one of the few people Val doesn't see as below him, same with Velvette. They are his business partners after all. More than that, it's clear that Val and Vox have a relationship beyond business, and have had it for a while probably. With Vox, Val has to play the game a little more strategically. @potionorchard pointed this out in her post that when Val doesn't get the results of Vox's attention that he wanted, he immediately turns around and plays Vox, riling him up by mentioning Alastor and then teasing him about it. Val knew what he was doing for that whole exchange. But, outside of these kind of instances, I think it's easy to see that Val has genuine feelings of some kind for Vox. He keeps the photo of them, and the whole dance between him and Vox in the finale speaks for itself I think. Val doesn't have as tight a hold on his temper as he could (or maybe even wishes he did) but he reins it in for Vox when he knows it won't benefit him to use it, or redirects it as needed so Vox isn't the direct subject of it.
I think Valentino uses kindness and affection as a weapon. He knows emotions are powerful motivators and uses them as his primary tools for predation pre: contracts and with those he knows he can't overpower. This is a major factor behind how I choose to write Val in my RPs and fics, why I make him kind when he's trying to achieve long term results, and why he's overall nicer to Vox than anyone else in the day-to-day.
Val is mean, Val is abusive, but he has the capability of being good for the people he has genuine affection for. However, his handle on his temper isn't good enough, and he'll lash out at anyone when he gets worked up enough. I personally think Valentino has some kind of feelings for Angel, but because Angel is under contract and not his perceived equal, he doesn't make the effort to be what Angel would want him to be, the person that Vox gets more often than not. Val is selfish with Angel and puts his own needs and desires above Angel's unless he can figure out how to also benefit from them.
I think Valentino wants to love people, but he struggles with perception (ironic given his eyesight.) I think Val builds his idea of a person in his mind, and when they do something that goes against what he expects of them based on that idea, he reacts poorly. His selfishness battles against this deep down want-- a want that is often overtaken by lust and pride and is therefore easy to miss, even by him.
This post is getting pretty long so I will stop it here. tl;dr: I think Valentino is messy and complicated and I like him for that reason. Am I reading too much into him? Maybe! But he's more interesting this way, don't you think?
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Re: your post about how Ed's primary motivating emotion is fear, you're so right. People can often discount how growing up in an abusive home can train you to assume everyone's a potential enemy instead of a potential friend, and the tragedy of it is that if you go looking for knives in the dark, that's all you'll find. You end up surrounding yourself with what you grew up with, if you're not careful.
But Ed is SO brave, because despite this background, he holds out his hand towards hope. He reaches for Stede. He tries to bond with the crew. Despite the fear that lives in his BONES, he keeps trying, and that's such enormous courage.
Stede is brave for finally choosing to be his most authentic self in a world that would punish him for it, but I think Ed is brave in the same way.
Yes!!
Ed went from an abusive home into a culture that we're explicitly told is abusive - he has never known anything else and this is not a subtle thing the show tells us. We can tell from what we know of his past and his relationships with people like Hornigold and Izzy that he's consistently re-traumatizing himself and trying to recreate those harmful relationships. And yet, his hope in trying to continue to embrace the safety that Stede showed him was possible even after he was left at the docks, I think, really tells us a lot about him.
Ed can get a lot of flack in the fandom for the whole kraken spiral, but I don't think he gets nearly enough credit for the sheer bravery and strength of character he demonstrates by just trying so hard and doing his best.
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To Share the Space with Simple Living Things - Hozier x Fem! Florist!Reader
Chapter Five: Calla Lilies - Beauty
Summary: A sleepless night manages to bring you and Andrew together in a way neither of you would have expected.
Word Count: 3080
Author's Note: hi my darlings! hope you're all doing well. writing this fic has been so much fun so far, and this chapter was no exception, so i hope you enjoy this chapter of late-night shenanigans.
tag list: @celery-grace @gayandfairycore @deathmybride @harry-bowie-mercury @hodgepodge-musings @blue-eyed-bug @secretttytttttttttt @dinner-n-dxatribes @wub-wub-wub-wub-wub @padfootblackswh0r3
as always, fic below the cut <3
It was two in the morning and you were wide awake.
You were up against your will. There was an attempt to go to sleep, but it was a solid hour of tossing and turning that soon became futile. No matter how hard you tried you were wide awake. You wanted to go to sleep, your day being so long and exhausting you couldn’t wait until your head hit your pillow. When you tried, however, you were the most energized you had been all day. How ironic.
You had no idea what could be causing this sudden bout of insomnia. Actually, that was a lie. You had a few theories. Having coffee in the afternoon, as you did today, sometimes caused you to stay up late. There was a sort of tension your energy, though it wasn’t something that caffeine could replicate. After that, the excitement of finding your favorite movie on streaming, making yourself some popcorn and watching it in its entirety, helped you to make it to midnight.
Now there was only one thing keeping you from falling asleep.
The adrenaline from sending a stupid text. To Andrew, of all people.
It had been a month since you first met, and only three weeks since you visited his tattoo parlor, and since then you both kept your promises. You met up during lunches a few times each week, when you both were free.
It wasn't until today, however, when you realized Andrew didn't even have your number. He gave you his on the first day he met you, but that was strictly professional. Today he finally crossed over into your personal bubble. You added him to your contacts, typing in the name Andrew, but backing up upon hearing his suggestion. “You can put in Andy, if you'd like,” he had said as he peered over your shoulder. You listened to him, and now, both in your phone and your mind, he was Andy.
The rest of your day was exhausting, mentally and physically. It was one of your busiest days in a while, which in theory was fantastic, but in practice leaned more towards stressful. Not to mention one coworker was sick and the other had a family emergency, meaning everything that happened today was solely in your hands. So much running around and so many orders that most of your day was a blur of petals. There wasn't even enough time for you to use flower language., picking flowers based on aesthetic appeal and not meaning. It pained you to do it every time.
Fast forward past eating a Chinese take-out dinner and watching a comfort romcom to now. You were lying in your bed, staring at the ceiling, so hopeless you were considering even counting sheep. You were recounting the events of the day in your head. Anything to get you to sleep faster. When you arrived to Andrew— Andy — giving you his number, you paused, and in a moment on spontaneity that could have been only caused by sleep deprivation, you reached for your phone off the nightstand and unlocked it.
You opened the page for his contact, and in your tired and frankly emotionally unstable state, you thought it would be a good idea to text him. After midnight. For the first time.
It wasn't anything salacious, just a simple “hi”. Not even capitalized, which was your try at being casual. There weren't any ulterior motives, either; an attempt at starting a conversation was all that it was. Still, you regretted that text the moment it was sent.
Cursing yourself, you went to delete your message, only to find he had already seen it.
Shit. No backing down now.
You went to type an excuse, that it was meant for someone else and you were sorry to text him so late and you promised you weren't under the influence.
Until you saw three dots pop up on his side. He was texting back.
Shit. Again.
There was no way he was of sound body and mind and texting you so late. What if he was drunk (or even worse, completely sober) and thought you wanted a hookup? Would you be completely opposed to that? Of course you would be. You had morals and standards and he had hands you couldn't stop staring at and tattoos that caused your mind to wander—
Your phone buzzed, jolting you out of your thinking. He sent his text: Hey. It was followed by Is everything alright?, a valid question considering the circumstances, but a small pang of guilt ran through you at the idea of worrying him. You took a moment to think before typing out your reply.
everything is fine! i can't sleep, that's all.
just thought i’d say hello.
Hoping your explanation would suffice, you watched your screen as, almost immediately, he typed back.
Do you usually text at odd hours of the night?
You shook your head as if he could see you and typed again.
nope. you're just special.
extra perks for being such a loyal patron.
An almost immediate reply came from his end.
Right, I’m your favorite customer. I almost forgot my title.
Suddenly you were much more open to the idea of staying up. What was another hour without sleep? If anything, you could take tomorrow— today, really — off and spend the day napping and over-analyzing every text. All you’d have to do is pop in to the shop and make sure the sign said you were closed. A foolproof plan.
As you wrapped up planning your next sleep-deprived twelve hours, your phone buzzed again.
Might as well attempt to have a normal conversation, right?
How was your day?
He always was so considerate. You chose your words carefully in your reply, sugarcoating the type of day you had.
my day was crazy to say the least.
to the point that it might be why i’m losing sleep
You didn’t want to be a burden, so you kept it short and sweet. It always gave you such a guilt to lament to others if you had a bad day or an overall unpleasant experience. According to his reply, Andy hadn’t thought of it like that at all.
Would you want to call instead? To talk about it?
His question stopped you for a moment, and you debated on some pros and cons before typing out your response.
sure.
but no video calling. i look a mess.
The very large pro of getting to hear his voice outweighed the various other cons, which you now had trouble remembering.
I doubt that. I can’t imagine you not looking great.
He had to be doing this on purpose, specifically sending messages that could be considered flirting, all with the purpose of making your heart flutter. You had to acknowledge how juvenile the whole experience was. Getting flustered over a text was something you would've done as a teenager, and never would have imagined you'd be doing at your grown age.
But I’ll spare you the video call to save you from my disheveled state.
You breathed out a laugh, and positioned yourself so that you were sitting up.
You pressed the button to call him and waited with bated breath. One ring. Then another. Then another. Until he picked up.
“Hey,” he said, and you could even hear him smiling through the phone.
“Hi.”
As usual, Andrew was overthinking.
Sending him a text so late had to be a mistake. It was meant for another friend or a confidant, surely; someone you would be comfortable with knowing that you were up so late. Not him, who you'd only known for a month and yes, had gotten closer to, but not this close.
He took the opportunity he was given to get to know you better, to feel like friends instead of awkward acquaintances. He found himself smiling down at his screen, sometimes even laughing at what you were saying. But it wasn’t without its challenges.
Texting was much too confusing of a method of conversation for him, especially conversation with you. Where did banter cross the line into flirting? If such a line did exist, it felt like you both were playing jump rope with it. And why is it so hard to tell someone’s tone over text? How was he supposed to know if you truly meant what you said?
If he meant what he said?
Of course he did. Every image of you in his mind was gorgeous. He wouldn’t— he couldn’t — lie about that.
Negotiating out of a video call was a smart decision on both of your parts, considering neither of you looked your best. He certainly didn't, in an old pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt so worn-out he couldn't tell you what band logo was on it if he tried. He couldn’t help but visualize you on the other end, hair probably messy and undone, wearing only an over-sized shirt and shorts, leaving your legs and your thighs exposed—
Even though he was expecting it, the sound of his ringtone caused him to jump.
For most of his contacts, a call past midnight would be sent to voicemail and called back after ten minutes and a message saying he was “asleep” and had “just woken up from the sound of his ringtone” and various other lies he used to convince others he had a normal sleep schedule. You were an exception to this, along with seemingly every other rule Andrew had in his life.
So for your call, he accepted it, but not before letting it ring a few times at the risk of seeming too desperate.
Who had you turned him into?
There was no point in resisting the smile on his face when he finally indulged himself and answered.
“Hey.”
“Hi.”
He wished there wasn’t any awkwardness between you, that there weren’t any lulls in your conversations. But life is not a romantic comedy, and he was too… tense when it came to you. It wasn’t until an uncomfortable amount of time passed that he spoke again, leaning towards his phone.
“So, how are you?”
“That's a loaded question . Why don't you start?”
“Oh, I’m grand, thank you very much.”
He couldn’t sit still, even if he tried. The (very unnecessary) nerves he was feeling wouldn’t let him. In fact, they dragged him out of his bed and to his kitchen. They took out his kettle, put some water to boil, and grabbed some teabags. His mouth helped to keep the conversation going as he rambled about his day. Your conversation went on normally, only interrupted when his kettle whistled.
“What's that I hear on the other end?”
“Oh, I’m making myself some tea. Always helps me get to sleep.”
“Wow, trying to get rid of me already, Andy?”
He raised his eyebrows, momentarily forgetting he had given you permission to call him by the nickname.
“More like trying to prevent how much I’ll hate myself in the morning if I don't go to sleep soon.”
He could hear you hum in agreement, and waited a second before speaking again.
“Anyways, tell me about this hellish day of yours.”
He could hear you exhale into the phone and prepared himself to listen intently to what would be a long rant.
“Well, first of all, work was busy. It was a Saturday, and that is usually the day when we’re at our busiest, but today was almost…abnormal. I won’t lie, it was overwhelming. In the grand scheme of things, though, it's good. We need more days like today. Otherwise…”
“Otherwise what?”
He was afraid of the answer, but he asked it anyway. Your voice lowered, like someone else could hear your conversation.
“You're the only person outside of my job I’m telling this to, so please don't spread this, but if we don't start making more sales, we might foreclose. I just found out today.”
His heart sank. It took a moment for him to sputter out a reply, initially too shocked to speak.
“You're kidding! Is there something you could do?”
“Well, I looked into it, and my options are limited. I’m not selling the property, and I’m sure as hell not giving up the deed. I’d have to negotiate something else but even then, we might not have the money to keep going.”
“That’s… horrible.”
Another silence, one that resembled a mourning period. He let you wait it out, knowing it was hard for you to even think about losing the shop.
“So, yeah. That caused a few gray hairs this morning. And then, as the cherry on top of this shitfest sundae of a day, my mom called. Usually not a problem, except she asked me the one question I dread the most.”
“And what is that?”
“‘When are you going to find a nice man and settle down? You can't do this flower thing forever.’ Like it's not my job! My job that I absolutely love, and she knows it.”
“I can only imagine how invalidated that makes you feel.”
“Thank you for recognizing that. It's extremely invalidating. As for the settling down bit, I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. I’d need a man to be interested in me first.”
He had no idea what came over him when he started his sentence, but the words left his mouth quicker than he could think.
“I mean, if you really wanted to, I-”
All that momentary courage just to be cut off by a comment you made, likely intended as a joke, but one that still caused him to come to a stop.
“You have a friend I could try?”
He retracted away from the phone at your words, just slightly. He knew you weren't serious but just the thought of it made him nauseous.
It stayed silent for a beat. He waited for you to say something, anything, because he was not initiating that conversation. You spoke after a painstaking few seconds.
“I’m kidding.”
The silence between you hung in the air and twisted into awkwardness.
“Not funny?”
“Not funny,” he replied, shaking his head solemnly. “For the purpose of setting boundaries… I’d prefer if you didn’t make jokes like that.”
Your voice was dripping with guilt when you spoke again.
“I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry. Truly. The boundary is set, and I promise we'll return to my regular scheduled programming of being hilarious and never shutting up.”
“I accept your apology. And don’t say that kind of stuff. I like your excessive bouts of talking.”
“Even if it’s about my flowers?”
A small chuckle on your end let him know the conversation had become lighter again, and he laughed as well.
“Especially if it’s about your flowers.”
“Speaking of, how’s my beautiful bouquet doing? Is she working her magic?”
“Oh, yeah. She’s got tons of compliments.”
“Let me know if it needs a touch-up. The calla lilies typically only last two weeks, and I just got a new shipment, so if anything starts to wilt inexplicably, just tell me and I’ll be there."
“Calla lilies. Those mean beauty, right?”
He heard you let out some noise of confusion, and was afraid he had said something wrong, coming off as a weirdo for suddenly knowing about your interest or not getting his facts correct. He hadn’t even noticed his breath was suspended in throat until he exhaled, set free from the sound of your voice on the other end.
“…Yeah, they do. Not to sound rude, but… how do you know that?”
“A few weeks ago, I couldn’t sleep, so I found a website with an entire list of flora and their meanings and I was actually… really interested. It still put me to sleep, but I learned a few things along the way.”
“Andy, that’s amazing! I’m so excited, I finally have someone to talk about this with. Maybe you could even help me pick out some flowers for a bouquet.”
“I’ll leave that to you, I think.”
“Considering I get paid for it, that's a good idea.”
You keep conversing for a while, topics ranging widely, though slowly Andrew could tell you were starting to feel the effects of the night. He heard you let out a yawn, followed by you pardoning yourself. Over time, your words slowly dissolved into mumbles and deep breaths, and after waiting a moment…
Silence. He put two and two together.
“Goodnight, Y/N.”
You couldn’t hear him, but he said it anyway.
There seemed to be a common sentiment among your friends that nothing good happens after two a.m. It was an idea stolen from a sitcom years ago and only proven true ever since, from long-term relationships breaking up to retching onto and completely ruining heels worth hundreds of dollars.
You bent that rule slightly. Good things can happen after two a.m., but you have to suffer the consequences, a headache only made worse by your refusal to rest being one of them. A secondary consequence being the burden of not physically seeing each other today. Overall, the remainder of your necessary day of rest was refreshing, if not filled with multiple power naps and your conversations with Andrew not leaving your head.
Andy didn't get this easy way out. He had an appointment made months beforehand, and it would be horrible of him to cancel on such short notice. He got some sleep after he hung up. Three hours to be exact. Nothing that couldn’t be balanced out by a black coffee and deluding himself into feeling awake. He’d done it so often it was almost like clockwork, training himself to run on very little sleep. Unfortunately, his one appointment of the day took almost five hours to complete, and he did feel his eyelids droop more than once. Thank goodness his work wasn’t affected.
Your conversation also carried on into the day, him texting in between breaks, not wanting to spend a moment where you two weren't communicating. He could put his past grievances with texting as a medium aside.
There was only one thing you said throughout the day that stopped him in his tracks.
i forgot to ask last night, but why were you up so late?
He took a few minutes to reply, contemplated how to tell you the truth, but not in it’s entirety
I was thinking.
He left out what he was thinking about, what caused his sleepless night.
You.
#hozier#andrew hozier byrne#hozier x reader#writing#fanfic#hozier fanfic#hozier fanfiction#writeblr#writers on tumblr#to share the space with simple living things
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First things first, I love your blog- I started my healing journey a year ago when my breakup opened my eyes. This blog has given me gems throughout my process, so thank you! I want to ask, how do you actively get rid of ego? I'm getting more comfortable with letting go of things that don't serve me, but when it comes to relationships (platonic/romantic) I find it a bit difficult. I hope this makes sense
Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m glad the blog has been helpful for you.
Our ego can lead to negative behaviors like defensiveness, create attachments, control, or fear of loss but it can also plays an essential role in our lives. The ego can also help us establish boundaries, maintain a sense of self and navigate the world confidently. It’s our ego that helps us define our identity, set goals & assert our needs.
The key is balance. The ego becomes problematic when it’s overly dominant or when it leads us to act from a place of fear, pride, or insecurity. But when we recognize and integrate the ego in a healthy way, it can serve as a source of strength, resilience, and motivation. Which is where you want to be, i'm assuming
In relationships, for example, the ego can help us maintain self respect and create healthy boundaries, while also allowing us to be open, vulnerable and compassionate. So, rather than completely letting go of the ego, it’s more so about managing it, so it doesn’t control us.
To work on letting go of the negative ego, we need to become more self aware. Recognize when the negative ego is at play—defensiveness, judgment, or the need for validation—and choose to respond from a place of calm & self compassion. This isn't an easy thing to do from one second to the next. My advice would be to start by catching yourself before reacting, take a step back to process your thoughts and feelings- and then return when you can make a calm decision that is not emotionally charged. Shifting from the attachment of how things should be to acceptance is key. Acceptance is not about accepting whatever is in front of you, you are not a doormat. Acceptance means more about acknowledging the actuality of where you are in the present moment. If you notice most people want to ignore realities, and expect them to change. Versus accepting the reality in order to then be able to make a change.
Focusing on the present moment is also important. The ego pulls us into the past or future, but grounding yourself in the now helps you stay connected to the relationship. Letting go of expectations is essential. The ego thrives on control, but releasing expectations allows relationships to unfold naturally. Forgiveness also plays a big role. Holding onto past hurt keeps the ego in control, but forgiving yourself and others frees you from that hold. Sometimes we think we have fully healed and moved on, but it isn't until we expose ourselves to a similar situation that those unresolved issues pop up again.
Try shifting from focusing on what you don’t have/want to what you do have/want, this helps detach from the ego’s desires.
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i will always find you, like it's written in the stars we can run but we can't hide
aka i've been chatting with a dear friend about a jayvik Transistor AU for the better part of a month and then at the start of this week i was seized with the thought of: what's better than one Supergiant games AU? four of them, obviously. and then i spent all my free time this week working on this, while also incessantly swapping ideas with this same dear friend about all these AUs
me yapping (SO MUCH YAPPING) about design thoughts and also the ins and outs of the AUs under the cut
bastion: this is actually the one where i have the least idea of what is going on outside of Jayce being caelondian and Viktor being ura (Viktor probably hews pretty close to Zulf here lbr) but like i couldn't not do a bastion AU (the themes!!) and also this was mostly a very indulgent nostalgia trip and an excuse to study the art style for hours. i love bastion's art style it's so incongruously cutesy for a game about the Regretsy(tm) of being part of the cycle of violence that ended up destroying the world and dealing so badly with it that you keep rewinding things back instead of moving forward
transistor: transistor AU my beloved <3 Jayce is inside the transistor! there is no reason for the transistor's "eye" to have his eye colour rather than being red except that i like how it looks and also the visual indicator of him being in there. yes the blue jacket V is wearing belonged to Jayce, it's blue because it's this AU's blanket analogue and also because i have strong feelings about freeing Jayce from being paraded around in white for PR reasons all the time. Jayce and Viktor were still a pair of inventors here but since Cloudbank's societal ills seem to trend less towards life-or-death issues and more towards stuff like its increasing homogenisation and those with "meritless viewpoints" being under-represented due to the way the voting system works, part of what they ended up working on was something that flew extremely close to the Process, ie: small-scale preservation of things and environments that the voting cycle would otherwise push out of existence (community spaces! support spaces! that one square where you have cherished memories!), creating tiny pocket spaces for people to keep these places alive. this ends up drawing the attention of both the Administrators and the Camerata (which in this AU consists of Singed, Ambessa, Caitlyn, Mel, and Salo, all of whom have their own motives for being part of the conspiracy and none of whom actually fully see eye-to-eye) and after the Camerata try not once but twice to recruit them both, Ambessa is the one who loses patience and attempts to integrate them both into the transistor by force while they're setting things up for an exhibition of their latest project. Viktor not only lost his voice during the attack but also dropped his cane at the same time and the whole "transported half-way across the city" thing plus the "Jayce's trace is inside the thing that murdered him and so letting it go is absolutely out of the question" thing means he's using it as a horribly ill-suited makeshift mobility aid in between frantically optimising the fuck out of the configuration of its functions so he can survive the Process. the lads end up figuring out more of what the transistor actually is and does and its connection to/control over the Process than Red and Mr. Nobody do because they're still genius scientists who are treating figuring this out like their latest crunch project but. things are still Not Gonna End Well. for now the only other thing i will mention (very important) is that the fetch type processes are salamanders here so Rio is the friendly process you find in the sandbox area
pyre: Jayce has been in the Downside for long enough to have undergone the transformation into a demon! he can read (although this isn't exactly the thing that got him exiled it was definitely a part of it. doing mad science was absolutely still the thing that got him exiled, it being discovered that he could read was just the final nail in the coffin) but he can't participate in the Rites as the Nightwings' representative in the demon mask and be their Reader at the same time. meanwhile Viktor is only recently arrived in the Downside, having got himself exiled not for reading, but because he refused to design/create weapons to help the Commonwealth's war effort against the Highwing Remnant, and ends up becoming the Reader for the Nightwings. i am inevitably going to end up drawing the other Nightwings for this AU because i am in love with the line-up we decided on (Mel is the leader of the conspiracy/mastermind behind the Plan and i am NOT passing up on the opportunity to draw stunning beautiful gorgeous tree lady Sap!Mel). the most fun thing to think about for this AU is the fact that once it comes out that only those who participate in the Rites are eligible for freedom from the Downside (and therefore Viktor, with his leg, doesn't even have a chance for it). Jayce would just flat-out Refuse to be the one anointed for a Liberation Rite. fully just there like if you pick me to be sent back i Will throw the match. no i actually don't care about how this affects the Plan and how many people you think i will be able to win over, i'm not going back if viktor can't. the scribes shoulda come up with better rites ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ [ insert frustrated Mel Medarda noises here ]
hades: they fit all-too-easily into the mould of "pair of separated lovers that the PC has the option of working to bring together again during repeated runs" and so that is what they are here <3. while they were alive they were a pair of extremely talented artisans/inventors and we have decided that they made a lot of progress in the areas of like. heating and warm water (a mutual loathing of winter and desire to improve lives will do that to a mf) but eventually they turned their sights to more abstract pursuits and are the ones who invented the soul cage, originally envisioning it as something to temporarily house the soul in order to examine it/gain a better understanding of it. then war broke out where they were living and where war goes, plague follows... so yea Viktor got sick and died and Jayce did as Jayce does and used their invention to keep his soul in the living world, which like, effectively kept him alive!! unfortunately the unforeseen side-effect of keeping Viktor's soul inside the soul cage was that nobody else in the area stayed dead either. this naturally drew the attention and ire of the gods (with the exception of Hermes who saw the Situation, saw that the ancient Greek undead epidemic was not the intention here, and covered for them to try and buy them time to fix it) and eventually in desperation they had to turn to Hecate who put an enchantment on the soul cage that seals it. this does a really good job at keeping the "accidental undead plague" effect sealed but it also means that Viktor's shade can't enter the Underworld, effectively dooming him to wander the Surface. meanwhile when Jayce dies his shade gets stuck in solitary confinement ironic punishment hell in Tarturus for the hubris of cheating death, perverting nature and defying the edicts of the Fates, and it's only when Chronus usurps the House of Hades that he is able to break out in the confusion and spend years trying to (so far extremely unsuccessfully) fight his way back to the Surface and get back to Viktor. so like, envisioning them both here as NPCs that Melinoe would encounter during Hades 2, with Viktor being an NPC you can encounter in Ephyra on surface runs who gives enemies debuffs for the remainder of the run (framed as sharing information with you about what's ahead), and Jayce being a roaming NPC you can encounter during Underworld runs who can give your equipment REALLY good upgrades for the remainder of your run at the cost of disabling one or more of your godly Boons, because the gods truly hate This Fucking Blacksmith and while they can't rob him of his skill, everything he makes is loathsome to them now (this is why his hammer looks all janked up and corrupted like that lmao). mostly i was just ecstatic to have an excuse to use their shared butterfly motif on the hammer and also on the lamp on Viktor's staff that contains his soul, thank you ancient Hellenic culture for your butterfly soul symbolism <3
#arcane#jayvik#jayce talis#viktor arcane#supergiant games#my doodles#when i say that i yapped under the cut. by GOD did i yap. i love AUs and i love the settings of these games <3#au warlock shenanigans
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Could we know some nsfw data about Clive?
(only if you aren't repulsed by sex, Clive wants to make you feel comfortable, he'd feel so so guilty if he even touched himself to you).
A = Aftercare: aftercare is crucial for him. He'll clean you up, all while whispering sweet praises about every inch of your body that the cloth grazes- he wants to make sure you're feeling adored and cherished.
B = Body part: he loves his height (he wants to intimidate people, guess why), but his favorite? his hands, he loves watching his fingers disappear inside you, thrusting in and out with the addicting slick sound they make/ loves seeing them wrapped around your length or seeing his palm pressed against your tip, teasing in circles.
Your body parts? all of you, but he's obsessed with your lips, especially when they're all swollen from his kisses.
C = Cum: when he's alone, he tries not to make too much of a mess. But with you?? not even a drop should go to waste.
Whether it's on your skin, your lips, or somewhere more..hidden, he loves watching how it drips out of you and the sight alone drives him insane. He'll always take his time, sliding his fingers back in to push every drop where it belongs. If you swallow, expect him to pull you into a heated kiss immediately after👁️
D = Dirty Secret: he craves you so much, he keeps the smallest pieces of you, even meaningless objects such as candy wrap. He's gotten you matching bracelets (also cause he cares about you and finds it cute ofc) so he can wear it while stroking himself, just to trick his mind into thinking it's you for a second, he'll warm his hand or cool it down to match your body temperature perfectly, poor baby cums so quick if it feels too realistic.
E = Experience: he isn't experienced, and he's never been into 🌽 so..
He's so eager to please you, he'll watch your expressions carefully, studying each reaction to figure out what you like. If you grab his hand and guide him- well! he's a quick learner, or visual learner, show him :3 jk
F = Favourite Position: any that lets him see your beautiful face- everything, from your reactions, breathing, the way you arch under his touch. Loves positions where he can hold you close, missionary, mating press, having you on his lap..in fact, please use his thigh to get o- jk.
If you ever want to try something different, like backshots as an example, the mirror becomes his favorite accessory. And if you dare to look away? he'll stop immediately.
"Eyes on the mirror, you need appreciate yourself darling."
G = Goofy: Clive is serious during intimacy, any intimacy actually, but if something funny happens, he'll chuckle softly to ease any awkwardness.
H = Hair: Clive grooms himself really well, though he keeps his happy trail. If you wanted him to wax it, he wouldn't mind, but...he secretly wishes you'd kiss along it, slowly working your way down to his aching member.
I = Intimacy: what can we expect from someone who reads romance webtoons to fantasize about you? every touch, every kiss, every caress, all laced with unspoken adoration. He wants to make you feel like you're the center of his world, because you are.
J = Jack Off: forget toys, he lives for your worn shirts, clutching them close as he ruts against his pillow, or as I mentioned earlier, he will do anything to make it feel or look like your hand💀 (he even bought the same perfume or cologne as you so..)
K = Kink: as a pleasure dom (maybe), he loves overstimulating you, light bondage- and the max is..temperature play.
Though...he wouldn't say no if you were the one edging him, he worships you, his body is yours👁️
L = Location: he prefers privacy, so the bedroom, but he wouldn't mind exploring with you. Though- he'll have to cover your mouth the whole time cause duh, only he gets to hear your noises, they're meant for him anyways.
M = Motivation: It depends on you, but honestly it doesn't take much, one teasing look and he's shifting uncomfortably in his chair👁️
N = NO: ageplay, cnc, dubcon, incest ecc, anything that makes you uncomfortable.
O = Oral: LOVES giving, takes his sweet time to savor every second, turns him on SO much he actually came untouched the first time..🏃♀️
P = Pace: he loves to take things slow, teasing you until you're on edge, then building up the intensity.
Q = Quickie: not his first choice, but if the time calls he'd absolutely indulge, promising that he'll take care of you like you deserve later.
R = Risk: He's willing to try anything you suggest but if it involves any harm or risk towards you, it's a sharp no.
S = Stamina: Clive can go longer than you'd imagine, you reactions and your pleasure fuel him, his jaw is about to dislocate? don't care, he's isn't done with you yet.
T = Toy: he doesn't own any toys, he'll try to respect your choice if you use them but poor guy is so scared you might like them better than him, will overstimulate himself for hours inside you, just to prove you can use him instead👁️
U = Unfair: teasing is his specialty. He'll trail kisses around your neck, whispering dirty promises, only to pull back when you need more, he wants you to be vocal with your needs.
V = Volume: he's definetely vocal and expressive; whimpers, soft gasps, praises, all in the most desperate and needy tone you can imagine.
W = Wild Card: his brain gets all fuzzy, he'll try not to confess too quickly but...💀
X = X-Ray: we've seen the image of his torso...and the other image..i had on my patreon....(i'll redraw it today cause hell no, don't join yet💀)
Y = Yearning: the more connected he feels to you, the more craves intimacy, it doesn't have to be sexual, just touch him :(
Z = ZZZ: he stays up watching you, brushing his fingers against your skin. Once he's sure you're safe and comfortable, he'll let himself drift to sleep.
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symbol of fear: main bnha dr !!
This is my main bnha dr!! I consider this to be a pretty personal desired reality because of the reasons I want to shift here.
This is probably the most intense reality I'm shifting to. In fact I've thought about it for literally 2 years before deciding to start scripting. This is the dr I'll talk about the most in my blog, so keep this in mind!!
The reason why I decided to start this blog, aside from helping me and hopefully others with motivation, was because I really wanted to talk about this dr. I needed a place where I could talk about it freely, but my notes app wasn't really doing it for me. So here I am!! And also who knows, maybe I'll find someone with a similar dr too!!
before reading: why do I want to shift to this dr? Where do I begin? Well, I absolutely hate this reality. Everything is going to shit and I really want out of here, plus I really don't like myself- but this could apply to my wr and other drs as well. So why this one in particular? In 2019, while I was making my first ever script, I immediately thought about a flawless world. Then, in 2020, I went on a 4 year shifting break. After two years, in 2022, I wasn't done with my break but I was trying to pick up shifting again. That's when I looked back at my script. Coming from an extremely flawed reality, the idea of shifting to that perfect world seemed…underwhelming. I'd feel like a coward, hiding away in a perfect world instead of fighting for a better life- I know there's nothing wrong with it, in fact my wr is some kind of perfect world, but it wouldn't be as gratifying as I'd like it to be. I absolutely hate the society I live in and I feel completely useless here. I want to go to a reality in which I serve a purpose and things actually get better. That would be a satisfying reality to go to.
So this is basically what this dr is about. A reality in which I serve a purpose, a reality in which actual justice will be served, a reality in which society at large will learn and grow from its mistakes, a reality where everyone will feel heard and have a chance at life. A reality in which the world will change into something beautiful and life will begin to feel like it's worth living, like it should.
But why bnha? Because not only I've been hyperfixating on it for an extremely long time and I'm really attached to it, but also because justice and society are really important topics in canon, so I was really drawn to it when I decided to script and go to a reality such as this.
summary of contents:
my dr self • plot and main events • important people • miscellaneous
last update: january 25th 2025
← previous [main wr] || next [???] →
my dr self
If you read everything until now, you're either thinking that I'm a pro-hero/hero student or you're doubting that because of the name I gave to this dr and the picture of Shigaraki at the start of this post. Well, here's the most 'controversial' part of my dr:
In this reality I'm not a hero. I'm a morally ambiguous villain.
And if you happen to have seen the post about my wr you might be wondering why I didn't put a picture of my dr self at the beginning of the post like I did in the other one.
I actually did. That's me. In this dr I'm Shigaraki Tomura.
A morally ambiguous villain that, at least in my dr, ends up actually doing something amazing.
→ “Moral ambiguity: a lack of certainty about whether something is right or wrong”
→ “Morally ambiguous refers to situations, characters, or actions that do not have clear ethical implications and can be interpreted in multiple ways.”
→ “Morally ambiguous characters can start off with good intentions and then be driven to evil by others or by society, or they can start off evil and come to redeem themselves. Alternatively, they can remain ambiguous and complex throughout the whole narrative, and leave the reader to make up their own mind about them.”
This is the most difficult part to explain about my dr, but I'm going to try my best to make it understandable:
I always find myself relating to Shigaraki in one way or another. If you knew me in real life, I'm sure you could kinda see the similarities.
When I first started to script this dr I tried countless times to basically make an original character to insert myself into the bnha universe. But it'd always, and I mean always, end up being really similar to Shigaraki, like some kind of bad rip-off- it was just uncanny, really. I'm one of those people who whenever they start hyperfixating on a series they attach themselves to one character...so this kinda explains it- but that aside, as I already said, I relate to Shigaraki, a lot. I'm genuinely not surprised I couldn't come up with something original in this case.
And then it just kinda…made sense- it made more sense for me to shift to a reality in which I'm him instead of trying to insert myself into the bnha universe being a cheap copy of him.
I really don't know how else to explain it, but it just feels right for me.
So yeah…Shigaraki Tomura from the Shigaraki Tomura series-
I don't have anything to say about my dr self, really. He's Shigaraki Tomura, that's it basically- according to my interpretation of the character, that is!!
plot and main events
When I first shift to this reality it'll be the 4th of April 2124, my 19th birthday. I'm still confused on when bnha is set canonically, I keep hearing it's in the present or an hypothetical future, so I picked future. In 2124 the class 1A students are going through their last year of middle school and in 2125 they'll be in the first year of UA and I'll turn 20. I decided to shift a year before canon events to kinda get used to a new reality- I know that once I get there it'll feel absolutely normal, because it is, but I'll do that anyway. Also because I don't want to shift and immediately be forced into utter chaos…and because I want to spend time with Kurogiri without worrying too much about being caught!! (since after the USJ Attack the public will know the LOV is a thing)- for context: he's not 100% like he is in canon, go to the "important people" section for more info!!
Everything will be like canon bnha, but there are some changes. For example the War Arc is almost completely different, consequently the Post-War is not even close to canon. The war will start like canon, but there will be no hero or villain deaths. After the war society will begin to change (in a good way) and me, the LOV and people like us will finally be able to actually have a chance at life. Does this mean there's zero criminal/villain activity? No, but it'll be significantly reduced and will be dealt with way better than it was before. There are other changes, but those aren't as important as the ones I already mentioned.
Another thing I feel like I have to mention is the fact that, as I said earlier, I'm an ambiguous villain who commits ambiguous actions. Although more than half of everything I do is not my fault (All For One), that doesn't mean that I won't be responsible for at least some of those actions. I'll be accountable for the acts that are exclusively my fault (so there's no proof of them deriving from All For One's influence- or maybe I just straight up admit it), but not for the ones that derive from All For One's manipulation and grooming. But neither me or anyone in the LOV will be given life in prison or a death sentence. We'll spend a lot of time in the hospital, unsurprisingly to absolutely no one- but not just any hospital, it'll be like a prison's hospital, so regular civilians aren't treated in the same building as us. After that we won't be immediately free, we'll probably be staying…somewhere under surveillance- I don't know- and then we'll be under probation and then finally we'll be completely free!! Is it realistic? Probably not for this reality, but that reality is different and society will undergo a massive change too, so it makes sense to me.
...also after all of this I'll be spending my life with the LOV and my s/o- me when I can find love as a ex-criminal in another reality and I can't pull anyone in the cr: 🤡
Once I shift to this dr I'll forget about what I've scripted and the plot (only when I'm in this dr- so when I'm in my wr or any other dr I'll remember everything)- EXCEPT: I shifted, I can't and won't die, I can't get traumatised in any way, it's going to end well, other safety things like that.
important people
I absolutely love everyone in the LOV, but I'm not going to talk about everyone or this would be an endless post. I'll talk about three people for now: the first is basically a family member, the second one is my future s/o (we'll be together after the war) and I can't wait for the third's slow and painful death.
Kurogiri !!
In my dr, Kurogiri isn't 100% like in canon, but he isn't too different either. In canon he basically lacks a mind of his own, bound to listen and obey All For One's commands and whatnot. He's a highly intelligent nomou, but that's just so he can better assist All For One and all. In my dr there's still a trace of that, but he's quite different.
In the early phases of 'testing', so not too long after he was created, a certain event took place that influenced his 'programming'. He began to progressively act less and less like some kind of machine and instead acted more like a normal person. But never in front of All For One (and heroes once canon events will begin in my dr). Not only because he wasn't completely independent and still couldn't disobey him, but also because there could've been consequences (he could've been 'reprogrammed', losing the progress he's made, or worse). All For One would've probably done something about it, but he noticed this once it was way too late.
Canonically Shigaraki has been staying with All For One since he was 5 and he's now 20, in my dr it's no different. And Shirakumo was killed when he was in his second year of UA, so he was probably around 17. If you consider Eraserhead's age, since they were in the same year, then this would make Kurogiri 30 years old, his age in my dr. If you do a little bit of math: when Kurogiri was killed at 17, I (and canon Shigaraki too) was 7, I was already with All For One. In my dr it didn't take too long to make Shirakumo into Kurogiri, it took around a year. We met when I was 8 and he was 18. So we've known each other for a really long time.
After the event that changed Kurogiri's programming, we began to properly bond. All For One couldn't just change or get rid of him, losing Kurogiri would have affected me greatly. That could've impacted his plans for me. So as long as Kurogiri 'doesn't do anything funny' he's free to stay the way he is. Little does All For One know that he'll continue to get more and more independent until, after the war, he'll be truly free to be himself.
We bonded especially when I was around 14, when All For One died to All Might (and then got revived by Garaki). Since All For One wasn't in the way, Kurogiri had a little bit more freedom and that was absolutely amazing!!
He's my older brother. The best older brother there is.
He took care of me, he taught me stuff, he gave me company, he listened to me, he made me feel better whenever I felt miserable and so much more. And he still does. He, alongside the LOV, is the main reason why I'm so determined to shift to this reality.
I've never shifted there before but I miss him greatly.
Spinner !!
I don't have a lot to say about Spinner actually. He'll be my best friend (I say 'will' because when I'll first shift there we won't know each other)…and my s/o after the war!! When I first started scripting this dr I wasn't thinking about having a s/o, it didn't really seem to fit. But as time passed I started feeling more attached to the people in my dr and whenever I found myself thinking about him…I don't know, scripting him as my s/o just felt right- everything in this script is based on a 'it feels right for me' feeling!!
So yeah: acquaintances to friends to lovers I guess LMAO!!
Also, a little fun fact: in the cr I have a necklace with a little gecko!! The base is silver and it's divided into 4 sections. In each one of those sections there's a (fake) flat gem. Also I got extremely lucky because on one side it's more green, on the opposite side it's more light blue and in the middle the two colours kinda mix together in a cool gradient. Me when green = Spinner and light blue = my dr self-
All For One. . .
Alright, what can I say about this man?- the term 'man' doesn't even suit him, this is a fucking monster- thank god I can script whatever I want and I scripted lots of things for safety!! Most of those safety things are related to this guy- they apply to everything, but mainly him and his actions.
I still have to register the fact that for a long time (until the war starts) I'll consider this man my ally- like- the one that saved me and shit- god damn-
Anyway-
PRAYING FOR HIS DOWNFALL🙏🏻‼️
Can't wait to kick his ass!!😘🥰😍
(I don't know what else to say actually-)
miscellaneous
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#desired reality#reality shifting#reality shifter#shifters#shiftblr#shifting#shifting blog#shifting community#shifting realities#anti shifters dni#bnha dr#mha dr#desired reality intro#dr intro#shifting antis dni#my hero academia shifting
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human things in my life recently . . . ✦ . ⁺
(this is going to be a long list! i'll probably keep thinking of things as I write others down. and that's probably because that's the human experience :) )
i was talking to my director about wishing other kids could see him how I did, as a person, not just some silly guy who will let them slack off or do whatever they ask him to and I said "sometimes I wish I could project my brain onto others" and he laughed and said, "isn't that what it means to be human? wanting to share your thoughts with others, make them feel what you feel and think?"
i later told him i wanted to be there for our upcoming play which is stressing us both out and I told him, "I just feel like I see you. as a human. not as just a teacher, or some adult, or a figure. but a human." and he said, "thank you, I needed to hear that."
i wrote a christmas card to my manager and thanked her for treating me like a human and she said that my card was the best gift she received that year
we are all humans. why is it such a heartfelt compliment to tell someone you see them as such?
last december, sitting on the stage of my theatre on the last day before break with my tech director talking about growing up. what I will always remember from that day is watching the kid who will be taking over a lot of my responsibilities next year skipping down the stairs as he and I talked. i told him, "there have been so many deaths this year, and that scares me. i didn't think i'd start experiencing so much of this at 18, I thought it would be something in my late 20s. is this what growing up is?" and he said, "yes, but it's also about life. it's about watching new lives be created just as much as it is about seeing people off for the last time." and while currently, I think there's even more to growing up than just these two things, it was a nice reminder. growing up also means more life.
a post i saw online, about how depressing this Christmas felt, and someone's realization that it's because Christmas is a holiday your parents work hard to make feel magical. as you grow older, then it's up to you to make it magical for others, and that's how the magic of Christmas is kept
an except from my sociology final exam research paper on the fear of growing up from December: "While the definition of what it means to be an adult may vary between people, many at least hold within them an optimism that they will reach the place of adulthood at some point. Being an adult means to many being independent and responsible, which some acknowledge to be a heavy burden, but one that they are happy to carry...I am left with one closing thought: perhaps everyone is more prepared for the future than they thought."
telling my father on his birthday that he's the strongest person I know, not just physically, but mentally. even if we disagree on a lot of things and don't always get along, i can take one look around my room and house and realize how much he's done for me despite all of our arguments and how much he hurts everyday
something my therapist said that i'd come to the conclusion to while trying to decide if I should drop a class that was giving me a lot of anxiety or not, "do it. there's a stigma in society nowadays to just 'suck it up' whenever your facing something hard, but if you have the ability to change your surroundings when you're uncomfortable, why wouldn't you?"
my friend a few years younger than me that will text me and ask if she can be with me for lunch because she wants to be around someone she feels comfortable with
this same friend asking me for help on an assignment to find ten things that inspired her, and I told her "why don't you think about the future? somewhere you want to travel? your dream home, when you finally get to move out? what keeps you motivated?"
the fact that scientists don't yet understand the human brain. the fact that every single person on this earth is unique in how they form perceptions, what they experience who they meet, who they decide to love, what they believe in, what foods they like, how different the chemistry inside each of them is. how flawed we all are. everything that makes us human. and there's beauty in those imperfections, not things to be hidden.
#sorry chat i was ruminating in the shower#but then i couldn't get out fast enough to write down everything i wanted to the way i wanted to#so i'll settle for this#it's mainly just a collection of a lot of individual things i've wanted to randomly post across these last few days :3#if these things come up in an upcoming oneshot#CORRECTION: *when* they come up in an upcoming oneshot don't come at me#i do believe this is giving /pos dazai vibes but i may be wrong apologies#ness' voices ✧˙#hopecore
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thinking about that ashswag testrun ep......
#listen 2 me. as someone who has a passive interest in the youtube algorithm#and likes to hear people talk about 'optimizing' it sometimes#and Also as someone whos very involved in fandom culture#its so!! fascinating to listen someone who has a fandom talk about the meta of their work!#like#when i think of 'ashswag' i automatically think of the fandom. i think about the thousands of words and dozens of art about spite and rage#but. ashswag (the guy) refering to 'ashswag' as a brand that can be optimized#its. a Really jarring disconnect as someone who thinks of the fandom First#esp when parrot and ash talking about the longevity of their channels#and talking about other creators and eventually going#'yeah i wish my content will grow with me as a person so i wont beat youtube like a dead horse and not enjoy it :/'#is. so interesting.#esp bc later they talk about off sourcing their editing to dedicated editors so they can be consistent#and trying to find the motivation to keep on going for like#5 years#and about how their goals are numbers based but also 'i wanna make meaningful content'#like. bud. yall already are#as someone whos talked with lots of members of the lifesteal fandom: yall are making art that inspires you!#it isn't just content that can be optimized. your videos inspire other people to create and connect#and be. human with each other.#and i Do think thats where fandom shines best#artists celebrating other artists#and ive been trying to go into this mindset myself: but youtubers are artists man!#theyre just using a new medium!!#and it sucks that youtube sees them as profit machines!! and punishes you for taking breaks bc youre human!!!!#but. listen man. when i think of ls s3#yes i do think of the traps and pvps#but i also think about something else#i think about the trust. i think about how in a server that punishes you for being bad at the game
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