#bc i need to hide and rest
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4 weeks before having an episode and crying in the uni bathroom that's a personal best 😌
#like yh i was right things hv been too calm lately#i expected today to change tht#it codve been worse#i kept it together for the interview#forgot my vocab#but i managed well#showed great grammar n had good answers#but then. like the aftermath#had a panic attack or whatever#calmed down the forst wave#thought i was fine n wld survive#nope sudden wave of crying#i wanna go home but i dont hv the energy#esp to lie#so sigh#i hope the empty classroom is open in the other building#bc i need to hide and rest#like sigh#i can go so well#as long as i avoid absolutely anything tht can trigger an episode#sigh#cloud nonsense
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pov : you're the rest of the sextuplets meeting kuroba for the first time.
#as soon as i found out this was a meme i knew i had to redraw it w/ kuroba#some context : kara doesn't tell his brothers about kuroba ( mostly bc he doesn't want them to cause issues and ->#get him banned from their shop ) but oso & totty figure out he's hiding something when he starts acting suspicious about the roses he bought#eventually the rest of them get roped into tagging along and they tail him the next time he sneaks off to kuro's#they end up breaking one of the potted plants outside their shop while trying to eavesdrop and kuro comes out w/ this kind of energy#they're not even really mad they're playing up their scary face to fuck with them a bit#but that ends up working too well bc they all end up running off scared as hell of kara's new '' yakusa '' friend#( get it? like yakuza and kusa meaning grass. gET IIIIT— )#anyways one of the benefits of kuro looking like their granddad is being able to make the same intimidating faces he can pull off#i need to finish chouji's ref soon... i love him...#osmt#karamatsu#mj ocs#oc : kuroba#mj draws#🕰 : scheduled post
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I love domestic rodydeku...
Rody leaning his head on Deku's shoulder while talking about his day, Deku playing with Rody's hair when he gets bored, the two playfully bickering with each other which turns into wrestling (in which Deku beats Rody every time), Pino flying over to give Deku a peck on the cheek whenever Deku is about to leave before Rody can, talking about Rody's siblings as if they were their own children, Deku picking up Rody whenever he feels like it (which Rody stopped protesting against eventually), Rody constantly picking at Deku.
Just everyday occurrences between them <3
#older roro telling deku to make sure rody is the happiest goddamn person on earth or else he will personally hide his body#i need to write some older headcanons for rody's siblings#i like the idea of roro being very protective#they definitely argue over who's going to do the dishes#not in a “no you do it” kind of way but in a “i'm going to do it bc you're tired and need to rest” kind of way#“you're a pilot!!” “well you're a teacher AND a hero! sit down i'm doing the fucking dishes tonight”#rodydeku#rody soul#rody#deku#izuku midoriya#mha#my hero academia#bnha
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finally caved and started reading all for the game. two chapters into the foxhole court and what kind of gay fucking shit is this! also did not know there were sports in here
#idk whats going on i thought it was like the raven cycle with magic and shit its called the foxhole court??? no fae???? what the fuck!!!#and i cant understand whats happening with the sports. i didnt get it. i hope i dont need to i just know kevin is top dog of the bad dogs#neil is mid mid except hes got a death wish so they want him carnally???#ill be reading it super slowly bc im busy but i can feel it slowly turning up the heat on my brain cells as i read. they are burning.#ive got naught but ten#and neil's not neil but he is and he has a bag of secrets he's hiding in someone else's closet like okayyyy go off author fuck whats the#authors name.... nora sakavic FUCK I SHOULDVE KNOWN NEVER TO TRUST A WOMAN NAMED NORA#i dont know...i dont know.... but also the only gay neil i know is the one from dead poets society and its hard to separate the two rn#is the rest of the book going to be like this what did i get myself into. am i mentally prepared#bc i wasnt for trc and it FUCKED! ME! UP! im STILL insane#ugh. ugh. anyway. way gayer than expected. also at one point someone asks ''how safe is safe'' and MY DISAPPOINTMENT#when the answer wasnt safe as life? immeasurable. in fact i had to close the book. went to study accounting.#ACCOUNTING. HELLO?? CAN ANYONE HEAR ME IN HERE???#the tree speaks#all for the game#aftg#what are yalls tags?#neil josten#the raven cycle#trc
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pretty minor thing to think about, but i find it interesting how chapter 7 is the first chapter illustration to show chizuutan as chizuru (instead of chuutan)
like, i get it’s a flashback chapter, but we hardly got to see her as chizuru in the previous few chapters thus far… maybe we’ll get to see more of her as her true self after the hiyori fight/make up? only future chapters may tell, i guess…
#there’s like 5 weeks to go till chapter 6 is released into the rest of the world and i m n o t r e a d y—#man. chapter 5 still manages to ruin my mood no matter how many times i read it… man.#i was having so much fun with renren and concon and the 3 stooges and th e n.#imagine putting on a (somewhat) perfect/cute act to hide your true self because you know you’re unlovable the way you are#but then someone else runs along and screws up every step of the way without putting on any airs and is adored for it anyway…#i imagine chapter 6 will be much worse. especially since the start of the flashback begins there…#i sincerely hope the flashback ends in chapter 7 bc aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#though. considering where we are now in the series. i think there’s a chance that vol 2 will come out at the end of december#ch 8 will prolly start to drop somewhere around the later half of november so it seems about right…#b u t if there’s the preorder bonus manga for vol 2 in dec can we have santa girl chuutan in it p l s—#i think we’ll need an incredibly cute bonus feature to lift the mood from whatever the heck’s going on with vol 2’s chapters#bc. idk. im sensing some self hatred with this one chizuchan… it’s as though she can only love herself if she’s dolled up as chuutan…#like. even in her aizo self-insert delusions she’s thinking of herself as chuutan… maybe im reading too much into this. hm.#but then again she even puts on makeup when she’s at home in her own room…#w a i t a sec what if this wack behaviour only came about bc of what’s about to be revealed in the flashbacks. wait. no. w h a t if—#i hope manga chizuchan will be able to love herself properly soon… we all love you chizuchan~~~~~~~~~~#this. too. is our oshi no—#dammit why is something set in the same universe as the [redacted] anime making me feel things??? i hate itttttttttt#anyways. wh. what if one of the h10w turns out to be an anime adaptation of the chizuchan manga#and they’re just waiting on. like. the final vol to announce it.#it’d make the most sense for an anime series at this point… since chizuchan is marketable and it’s set in the same anime verse#so there’s no inconsistencies to retcon and such…#but!!!! most importantly!!!!!! we’d be able to see animated renren and concon!!!!!!!#…but something like this will only appear in my delusions huh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#mousou dake no kawaikute gomen anime#ok that’s enough thinking for the day; back to kimikawaii mv g o o d b y e~~~~#chizuutan chizpost
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i'm chronically nosy i had to go find what u were talking about on twitter and man it's wild how comfortable people are with the transvestigating thing because they think it's funny. why are they validating the real transphobe even jokingly....
i don't fucking knowwwwww. i got fucking blasted on twitter for being like. have none of you actually experienced irl bigotry because i have and it's not something i would actively choose to emulate????? in any context????
like this is what was happening back in october. yeah, very cool, very funny to quote tweet a guy calling glenn a fag for tweeting in support of california legalizing gay marriage and say he was "ahead of his time". for. using a slur. everyone is so fucking irony brainrotted it hurts.
and again.
just an ounce of self awareness..... please.... anyone........ how do you almost get there and yet not see the problem.....
#ask ada#people are gonna fucking call me cringe for this but i'm just. blown away at how goddamn stupid sunnytwt mamages to be#consistently.#how do you just. not have a problem with this.#nevermind the fact that everyone's like 'lmao true he is a woman' but. if he WAS. stealth trans...#are you really dying on that hill and misgendering him bc you're (whether jokingly or not) clocking him as 'afab'????#and then insisting he is a woman despite transitioning?!??!?!?!?!? im ???? ? ?#you are no better than the fuckin transvestigators#this bitch is doing the same thing. putting 'his' in quotes and saying he will never be able to hide 'his female frame'#ITS. DERANGED. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS SHIT. BE NORMAL#if your jokes are indistinguishable from actual bigotry you need to shut the hell up 💕💕💕💕#also. if youre IN this post. just. think about it. i'm not trying to start shit i just need y'all to fuckin consider how this affects ppl#whether its self hatred deflected back outward or ur doing it unthinkingly bc the rest of twt is also doing it#🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍
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im so glad vfx studios don’t give a fuck. it’s really cold in here so i bought a blanket for my desk
i’m queen cozy. catch me in the boardroom in full burrito mode just because i can. what are they gonna do, take my blankie away? i’ll fight
#had a friend who would wear giant slippers around the office. also good.#anyway i need to bring some of my plushies to decorate with. my worm gang is not enough#bc remember i brought like 100 worms on strings and put them on my desk and other peoples desks#as well as hidden around the studio in a few places. i still have some. i should hide the rest#jennilargh
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home from work
#if I speak…#one of the girls walked out yesterday#the best worker we have is on the verge of blowing up on this bitch’s leaders bc since he can do everything quick and efficiently already#they’re putting 3 to 4 ppl’s workloads on him to see how far they can extend his worth and then they’re over his shoulder the whole time#micromanaging him so today he almost lost it and was literally walking around mumbling about his disrespectful they all are (facts)#and how if they don’t think he’s doing it right then they can do it and I know for a fact one of the ladies heard him#bc he wasn’t even trying to hide it at this point and like this dude is cool he has a lot of patience and helps out any way he can#so if HE’S on the brink of snapping then the rest of us don’t stand a chance LMFAO#anyways today was a fucking mess those leaders know nothing about our store yet so they have us making less than what we need until we need#it so we get behind constantly and they made prep a disaster bc again they think they can just prep a bunch of stuff in the morning#and it’ll last the whole day and yes that works in theory but the reality of the situation is every day is different and today#we sold double what we did yesterday so they had to move me to prep to fix their mistakes bc we were running out of stuff 4 hours in lmfao#and I’m the only one left who knows how to do everything on prep bc the other girls had never done it before#we’re supposed to prep 20 mac n cheese trays in the morning for the whole day#we open lunch at 10:30 tell me why I go into the cooler at 12 put more in the oven and there’s only 5 left#it’s been less than 2 HOURS and you’re already running out of macs which means those idiots prepped barely anything just to try and save mo#*money to cut down waste but that gag if you’re losing money bc now you’re short on everything and customers are leaving bc they’re having#to wait a long time for their food#and macs take 40 minutes to cool LMFAO#I get over there they’re out of parfaits they’re out of fruit cups they’re out of kale salads the front is coming in and having to take#stuff as I make it bc they keep getting orders and it’s all just a fucking mess#I have to make a custom wrap and what happens?? those morons didn’t pull the flatbreads out of the freezer like they’re supposed to every#night so now we have no flatbread and I had to run back there and put them in the warming drawer to defrost and we lost an order bc I had#nothing to make the wraps with <3#I go back there to get more cold chicken SPOILER ALERT they didn’t have anyone make any this morning so now there’s no chicken for the wrap#and salad and it has to be grilled and then chilled for 2 FUCKING HOURS before it can be used#they’re a fucking disaster like 😭#was the store perfect before?? ofc not but it ran quickly and efficiently as it should and now it’s literally just a mess#this bitch hasn’t even owned it for a full week yet and has already fucked it all up#womp womp!!!!!!
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I wish all jujutsu kaisen fans a very media literacy and manga reread
#Shut up shut up the ending makes sense just take ur time to read and ponder it doesn't have to be explicitly held held explained to u#I won't insist that my every interpretation is 100% correct but thr beauty of story is it can mean what it needs to for readers as individua#I'm so content with the way that it ended bc yeah I have read and spun theories and reread it until it made sense#I didn't understand much the first time it always takes several reads and translations notes help a lot too#But there IS a lot of information there if you're open to finding it#Gege is rly thr best it's so unfortunate#Jujutsu kaisen fans can't read#Like are we even fans if we talk shit on the author?? I don't think you are but why read just to hate it??#Jjk ending#Jjk manga#Gege did nothing wrong#Rant#Vent#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fandom#There are things I'd never understand on my own but lovely readers do research and share what they learn about historical culture language#Context etc and idk I also get that it's hard to sort through. The majority of takes are easily debunked. But if you just. If you just read#The manga several times.... It gets better and more intense and sensical and emotional every time...#Sigh#Sorry I'm sleep deprived and sick of all the gege hate on my fyp!#It never ends I never interact I hide those posts but they still show#Which means I follow a closet hater or the algorithm sucks ass#Probably#Gege akutami#I owe u my life#This last year has been rly hard and idk how I would've survived without your work#I hope u have a good rest and recreational period for as long as u want to
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I just keep on faving masked characters w buried monstrosity having themes of tarnishing ideals and heroism with drowning/sinking into body of water allegory and tendencies toward self absorption
#this post is abt leander and sayaka miki#redstrewn talks#for clarification on sayaka i read @tothepointofinsanity's Observation Log Series tag#sayaka has tendencies to hide her face and her rook has many mirrors basically#room*#the rest are apparent#“room has many mirrors” is a crude way justify the “self absorption” conclusion but the aforementioned posts expands on it#oh and did i mention theyre both jealous#sayaka bodies leander simply bc she actually gets a sick ass literal monstrous form (oktavia)#tho yes i love that the point of leander is that the most monstrous need not be literally so#or physically* so#i love the implication that sayaka miki committed murder of two men#anyway theyre both pathetic losers and loathed and i love them with my whole heart#both delusional idealistic naive hypocritical little freaks. i adore them immensely#i love stupid characters wholeheartedly
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Hiatus
I am going on hiatus for a bit more. I really really hoped the stuff that have been going on lately were already "sorted out" but, uhm... they aren't. I need to take a bit more time offline once again, and try to work things out.
Thank you for your patience ❤
Wren
#EDIT: I've deactivated my IG for a bit because it wasn't helping at all. I'll be back there but I need time#wren text tag#somehow issues from mid July/early August have managed to get worse. Like I'm not even surprised bc I'm used to it but GIRL . What the fuck#“it's finally summer”+“can't wait to draw!” * gets 3 hiatus in a row * maybe drawing or summer isn't really meant to be 🤨🤔#I hate having to log-in to post a hiatus message and then dissapear again when I'm supposed to post my doodles n have fun#Feels like one of those jesters that appears at luncheon to entertain the royal court and then they go missing for the rest of the month#bc I'm trying very hard not to hide in my shell + having a bit more presence here to post my artwork#and somehow I fail at both like fucking heck. How can you be so bad at this.#but in short I won't be here to answer stuff and being silly or whatever people expect me to do#because if you're here for the silly stuff. MAN. I'm am sorry but I don't feel silly at all.#Somebody once said “the horrors are never ending yet I remain silly” but I forgot the “remain silly” part#And if you're here for drawings. I don't even have time and I don't feel like drawing at all. Idk which one is worse#The bakery hangs up the “closed today” so people know they have to go to buy bread somewhere else. Same here. But it won't last a day#idk why the bread analogy. Guess I'm a birb after all#this is also the closest thing to a vent post I will ever write and I managed to say nothing at all. Vagueposting about vent. Good job Wren#tw: vent#tagging in case somebody like me needs to have some tags filtered#the hiatus will go on also a bit longer because the last few weeks my mental health suffered a lot and I know my limit#also this post was queued. If I see I can still be active before publishing I will delete it otherwise see for yourself#also queue doesn't work ig like I programmed this for 9 pm hopefully it will be up by then and not any other random time
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i have a headache, my stomach hurts, i went from being an active danger to myself to spacing out in the shower when i would start to get upset and my moms watching tv in the living room like la la la
#personal#when i was a kid she used to get mad at me if i was in the bathroom when she got home#she would get so angry and say i’m doing it to spite her or hide from her#probably the second#but also i just needed the rest room#now i’m the devil bc i needed to use the rest room instead of doing what she needed that second#after holding it in to do what she originally asked and this happens all the fucking time :)#i’m just very tired and wish this wasn’t my life
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ok so here's a bloodborne post. every dream or nightmare in bloodborne needs two things:
1. a host/dreamer
2. a being to create the dream
in the nightmare frontier/nightmare of mensis the dreamer is micolash and the creator is mergo.
we know for sure the nameless moon presence made the hunter's dream, and the obvious conclusion is gehrman is the dreamer. my personal pet theory is the doll is a second dreamer, the real host of the dream, because you find her sleeping in the old abandoned workshop
when you end a dream you have to kill both the host of the dream and the creator, ex, killing micolash then mergo, killing (freeing) gehrman and then the moon presence
so here where i get a little confusing okkkkk. the doll is the reason the game loops. the purpose of the hunter's dream is to keep hunters alive, at least when they start out hunting. hunters can leave the dream, like eileen and djura, but can they really? they reset when you start new game plus. everything resets. you are able to end the nightmare of beasts by ending the mensis ritual, but micolash was already long dead and a skeleton when he 'woke up', meaning gehrman would be as well. the doll, however, would just go back to sleep. she has an immortal doll body, if she wakes up there is no actual consequence. in the childhoods beginning ending you become the new creator of the dream, and the doll is the host, so gehrman is unnecessary. in the ending where you replace gehrman you are replacing his role as the surrogate child of the moon presence/collateral, and the doll is the host. in yharnam sunrise you 'leave' the dream, but you can't actually leave. the only thing left is new game plus. there is no way to permanently kill the doll in the game, and you need to kill both the dreamer and the maker of the dream to end it
i believe the moon presence created something unintendedly bigger than herself with the dream, it's become an endless self powering cycle that resets the entire world instead of just keeping a few hunters alive. the great ones are sympathetic in spirit, but she didn't really understand what laurence (and associates) was asking for because she can never actually die. so now no one can ever die! N that's my post
#wheeltext#the creator of the hunters nightmare is kos and i thiiink the dreamer would be the orphan. kos is already 'dead' (as a great one can get)#n you put the orphan to rest#n then the nightmare ends#so yeah there are two effects of this type of deal#it creates a dream/nightmare (which stays even after the host and creator are killed) and it does Something#the Something of the mensis ritual was the beast plague/whatever the FUCK they did to yaharghul/the one reborn#n the Something of the hunters dream was the time loop/keeping hunters alive/providing aid to hunters/etc#n the Something of the hunters nightmare was dragging all hunters to actual hell when they go blood drunk#i believe the nature of the deal with the moon presence was to house the hunters#assist them keep them alive whatever they need#and she would get two things out of it#the first is a surrogate child in gehrman (he also works as collateral for the deal while laurenc n co worked for the mp's ends)#and the second is that the hunters would take out the competition and kill other great ones#hence the note Hunt the Great Ones. Hunt the Great Ones. in byrgenwerth#OH FUCK#ok so maybe the obscuring of rituals rom did yknow hiding the blood moon etc was a deal she made with willem#but it didnt create a dream it made the moonlit lake#rom could also be the dreamer maybe? bc she used to be human#idk im really just spitballing at this point if i got anything wrong or misremembered smth feel free to correct me#also sorry this is so long lmao
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(muth being music theory!)
#FUCK IT MY OWN EDITION OF THE ODDLY SPECIFIC POLLS BC THESE ARE FUN#me when i've been obsessed with space/time stuff since i was a KID its more an interest than hyperfixation rn but man.#media with any of those?? i am OBSESSED (star wars rottmnt movie etc etc) like i hyperfixated on dr who for a year in middle school#the skateboard one is so funny. in high school my guard instructor saw me with a friend's pennyboard & immediately said no.#me when i was notoriously clumsy in middle + high school so everyone i knew was like. “this is a bad idea” when i did anything#my first semester of college i bought a longboard off someone then 5months later i turned around & ate SHIT it was so funny in retrospect#anyway fun sage lore i have only ever heavily injured the left side of my body. my knee + elbow and the SAME FUCKING TOOTH. TWICE.#also i have a high pain tolerance. like idk how or when but in middle school it just got Really Strong. me when i injure myself and just#live with it for a year before it becomes a concern and i get told to get an xray (i will live with a fractured knee the rest of my life)#also when i fell off my skateboard and ate shit my first concern was “ah fuck my glasses did i break my nose” and#“nah my elbow isnt broken! my arm is just rly sore from how i landed on it” (readers. it was in fact fractured.)#like i literally went “no im fine we dont need to tell my mom or go to the er” and my friends said “call your mom and go to the er”#me spitting out my tooth and blood bc i also busted my lip: that hurt. time to hobble back to my dorm.#anyway hiding this one in the tags bc i will never not just ignore my issues LMAO did it with my ptsd dx and i will continue to do it#another incredibly hyperspecific thing: oh this doesnt seem normal! im gonna ignore it and hope it goes away#these symptoms match up to something? nah i'm sure it's not that! (proceeds to get dx'd with ptsd five months later)
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wait are you greek? :O
understandable assumption from my earlier tags but I am not haha. I am vaguely Russian and was brought to Russian Orthodox Church as a kid (internalized none of it as I do not speak the language well and didn’t know what anyone was saying. I do not know why my mom bothered to bring us). But by the time I was like 10 we had mostly given up and were just attending annual late night Easter service at a Greek Church on the invitation of our family friends because at least then we got to go to their house afterwards and eat cold cuts at 3am. And that is what I am still doing every year to this day
#I still don’t know what they are saying because half the service is in Greek#and honestly I cannot stand being there anymore it’s so miserable. the standing and the sitting and the inhaling candle fumes for 4 hours#this was the first time back there in 3 yrs bc covid and I forgot how bad it is#I spent the entire time trying to make wax sculptures and looking for loose strands of hair to burn since we hold candles the whole service#when I was 12 we attended one of the days before Easter and I had to be part of the service#like standing up front at an alter wearing one of the church’s white dresses#and I got so ill from standing too long that I literally fainted in front of the entire church. hit the floor hard.#kind Armenian man carried me out in his arms and I proceeded to vomit all over the front steps of the church#but at least I got to hide in the basement for the rest of the service after. I might need to bring back this strategy.#all that said however. the interiors and icons of those churches fuck really hard#ask
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every FUCKING time i tell someone my uncle died there's a moment where im just really casual with it bc it's just a simple fact. and then theyre like "oh my god im so sorry" and im just. caught by surprise by it like. oh yeah. this Is sad. this Is fucked up. it's reasonable for me to be upset by it.
and i just laugh it off like "yeah, that's how things are i guess" & try to push things along bc i deal so badly with being emotionally vulnerable with people
things are... hard.
#speculation nation#negative/#i guess.#i mentioned it in the meeting as a thing of like 'hey just so you know im gonna have a funeral to go to soon & might need a day covered'#& as part of that i told her about my uncle and just#it never does get easier lol. it's like with Cassy except worse bc ive known this man my whole fucking life#but that same exact moment of me casually mentioning it & the other person being horrified for my sake#sometimes it feels like other people react more viscerally than me#because im always hiding under a million layers of emotional numbing and redirection and compartmentalization#ive only cried for his death Once. after going through old family pictures looking for things of him#bc i had that realization of 'oh. he's actually gone isnt he'#i know everyone processes grief differently but i feel so clumsy with it.#like that one post. 'grief is running from your emotions until it catches you in the middle of a sunny day'#it's... fine. i'm fine.#im just gonna try to enjoy the rest of my night and not enter a fucking mood spiral. i'd rather not tank the rest of the night thanks
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