#to wait a long time for their food
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home from work
#if I speak…#one of the girls walked out yesterday#the best worker we have is on the verge of blowing up on this bitch’s leaders bc since he can do everything quick and efficiently already#they’re putting 3 to 4 ppl’s workloads on him to see how far they can extend his worth and then they’re over his shoulder the whole time#micromanaging him so today he almost lost it and was literally walking around mumbling about his disrespectful they all are (facts)#and how if they don’t think he’s doing it right then they can do it and I know for a fact one of the ladies heard him#bc he wasn’t even trying to hide it at this point and like this dude is cool he has a lot of patience and helps out any way he can#so if HE’S on the brink of snapping then the rest of us don’t stand a chance LMFAO#anyways today was a fucking mess those leaders know nothing about our store yet so they have us making less than what we need until we need#it so we get behind constantly and they made prep a disaster bc again they think they can just prep a bunch of stuff in the morning#and it’ll last the whole day and yes that works in theory but the reality of the situation is every day is different and today#we sold double what we did yesterday so they had to move me to prep to fix their mistakes bc we were running out of stuff 4 hours in lmfao#and I’m the only one left who knows how to do everything on prep bc the other girls had never done it before#we’re supposed to prep 20 mac n cheese trays in the morning for the whole day#we open lunch at 10:30 tell me why I go into the cooler at 12 put more in the oven and there’s only 5 left#it’s been less than 2 HOURS and you’re already running out of macs which means those idiots prepped barely anything just to try and save mo#*money to cut down waste but that gag if you’re losing money bc now you’re short on everything and customers are leaving bc they’re having#to wait a long time for their food#and macs take 40 minutes to cool LMFAO#I get over there they’re out of parfaits they’re out of fruit cups they’re out of kale salads the front is coming in and having to take#stuff as I make it bc they keep getting orders and it’s all just a fucking mess#I have to make a custom wrap and what happens?? those morons didn’t pull the flatbreads out of the freezer like they’re supposed to every#night so now we have no flatbread and I had to run back there and put them in the warming drawer to defrost and we lost an order bc I had#nothing to make the wraps with <3#I go back there to get more cold chicken SPOILER ALERT they didn’t have anyone make any this morning so now there’s no chicken for the wrap#and salad and it has to be grilled and then chilled for 2 FUCKING HOURS before it can be used#they’re a fucking disaster like 😭#was the store perfect before?? ofc not but it ran quickly and efficiently as it should and now it’s literally just a mess#this bitch hasn’t even owned it for a full week yet and has already fucked it all up#womp womp!!!!!!
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getting older can be so amazing? you get more familiar with yourself. learn tips & tricks for troubleshooting your own brain. trial & error helps you build routines that minimize discomfort, maximize reward. your preferences/interests don't get set in stone, but you do find out which ones are going to stay with you in the long-term, and which ones are fun but transient joys to appreciate in the moment.
you learn that the world is so much more complex than you were taught, and that that's okay, and that there's an endless supply of things you can learn or watch or experience or think about if you want to. if you're lucky, you loosen up, stop putting so much pressure on yourself. if you're lucky, you learn to recognize that negative inner voice, and whack it with a baseball bat until it hushes up. if you're lucky, you learn to treat yourself gently, not because you are fragile but because you are worthy of gentleness. (i hope you are lucky.)
and some things will change. some things will get better. some things will get good. and maybe you start to recover from the dehumanizing stress of childhood/education. maybe you learn the power of your own autonomy. maybe you learn how to walk away from bad situations (which is a superpower even if you don't realize it yet). and you get to choose your own clothes. and your own food. and which relationships to pursue! and what you do with your free time. and with your life (but don't worry you get to choose that gradually). and that's crazy! and sometimes scary. and extraordinarily, indescribably precious.
#not a shitpost#and as long as you are alive there will be another good moment waiting for you in the future#the profound joy of your favorite foods#the incalculable luxury of waking up and lounging in bed and falling back asleep#a cold glass of water after a walk in the hot sun#petting an excited dog. a cat rubbing up against your ankle. the sight of a confused chicken#glorious these beads we string together to form our own existence#getting older means time is passing. and i hope you are passing that time in ways that make you happy#i hope you have so many moments of joy that they can be as easily counted as drops of water in the ocean
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Thanks for listening to my sad backstory. Anyway, here's Wonderwall.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan xichen#lan wangji#madam lan#This normally would have been two separate comics but I felt like it was a far better joke to have them together.#Enjoy the rare double feature comic!#I was listening to this episode - scripting out and preparing for a longer and heartfelt comic on this scene.#And then Lan Xichen pulled out his flute and started playing unprompted.#I could not contain my laughter. I know it is trying to be emotionally resonate and the flute is pretty but...#It really does have the energy of “Okay thanks for listening to my tragedies and traumas. I don't know how to segue out of this.”#This madam lan design is inspired by Qourmet's design! Really good stuff that I was not able to do more with in this one panel.#Speaking of...I know it is ambiguous on purpose and we are only told what happened through LXC's POV but...#I always interpreted madam lan's passing as a suicide. I think LXC was told it was illness to soften the blow.#She was stuck in a house with maybe a servant coming by to give her food. One day a month she saw her children.#Of course she was warm and loving in their memories-#She was trying to give them a version of her that would be remembered as such. She wanted to protect them from the truth.#She did her best but she was already dead a long time ago. She must have felt like a ghost haunting a house.#Love to her was waiting. And both her boys inherited that view of love.
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This is going to be short bc i already have a post up explaining this situation, but I started having seizures, which led to medical costs I couldn't handle bc I have an autoimmune disorder that's been going untreated for years. I got the appts covered bc of an extremely generous friend on here, and had some additional medication costs which I thankfully had enough for. I've been applying to at least 10 jobs a day and had tons of interviews. I'm going through interviews and assessments for several jobs (got more scheduled for tomorrow) Then my card got stolen, and now I am screwed as far as rent goes, even if one of these jobs comes through like today we will still fall short because rent is due on the 1st and we don't get a grace period. I am trying to get the money that was taken when my card was stolen back, but I have been told to wait to hear back after submitting all the details, and have yet to hear back.
Dm me for proof or more details. I will do art for anyone who helps with this and you can commission me at my art blog @theartistrans I just desperately need to get rent. My roommates and I have a huge food garden planted and are working towards self-sufficiency, which we have no hope of if we can't pay rent.
PP -- $C -- V -- kofi
$45/$650
#Please help with this just sharinghelps a lot#we really dont want to lose our home we havent even been here for long but theres fruiit trees and berry bushes#we were given so many seeds that we will absolutely be able to grow most of our food that just takes time but we have so much planted alrea#im still waiting for my neuro appt i went to my GP appt and the drs reaction to the stuff ive been ignoring was sobering to say the least
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it's my birthday today, so I drew something nice happening to kleinhammer ;u;
#scribbles#limbus company#heathcliff lcb#meursault lcb#faust lcb#i wanna post a big log of heathfaust n meurcliff stuff but i havent rlly been drawing much this past week...#anyways cant wait to get hit by a truck called canto VII act III today after dinner#im off to make cupcakes. a strawberry shortcake cupcake to all of you#no one tell him he's about to die bc you shouldnt ever go straight to solid food after eating mush for a long time.#he'll figure it out eventually. shhhhh
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the presumed problem Lilia vs the Actual problem Jade....
(inedible food vs poisoned food... battle of the ages...
who'd you pick to cook for you,,,?)
#twst#twisted wonderland#jade leech#lilia vanrouge#ram's art#i finally read jade's culinary vignette after i got it from the octavinelle showcase a while back........#i love that rook's reaction to his mouth going completely numb from a strange mushroom is to be :] about it#guy's deranged i love it#anyways j a d e dont . put whatever in meals pls.........#i'd still eat his food over lilia's though... poison is preferable to burnt food i cant stand the taste of anything remotely burnt.....#if like. cheese is lightly browned i cant eat it lol#this art's probably not clear without vignette knowledge buuuut its fineeee#alsoalso look at me trying. bgs........ again.................#and also drawing about an event that . literally happened so long ago it was /before/ i had twst.. wild--#also!!!!!! shout out to my first time drawing rook :]]]]]]] (i think) lilia also in a way........#wait-#rook hunt#i . i forgot my pal.........
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Jinshi always having his favourite things taken away is such a fucked up memory actually can we talk about it more please???
#the apothecary diaries#imagine being a 5 y.o something and you not allowed to be obsessed or take a liking to a single TOY#like that would fuck me up so bad#i once saw a dog training video (?) idk its been a long time ive forgotten it#and basically after theyre taken from the hound. you gotta train them to be patient with their food and stuff#i.e making them wait a certain time before eating#they've gotten so used to inhaling their food quickly because there's this fear of their food being taken away by other dogs#AND I KNOW THIS CANT BE COMPARED#but like#i think about it sometimes#and it hurts :(#all his impatience regarding maomao. is that not the same as the dogs not wanting their food be taken away? :(#i think my periods coming up this is making me emotional way more than it had any right to
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I need a completely rewritten teen wolf series with Derek Hale as the main character. I think it would heal me.
#we follow Derek from New York. Laura left for beacon hills. it’s been six years since he was back but he hasn’t heard from her#and hes going stir crazy waiting. he packs up and travels back. it’s almost too much immediately. he still can’t get a hold of Laura#he can’t resist going home. it’s like a natural pull that guides him back. all at once he’s 16 again. staring at the wreckage of his life#deputy stilinski is sherrif now. it’s reassuring in the slightest that the police force seems to have moved on from how corrupt it was#he catches her scent and it’s putrid. bile catches in his throat. he seeks it out. still in denial to what he knows it means.#when he finds Laura it’s like the world ends all over again. he can’t stand to see her like this. he gives her a proper burial.#the best he can do at least#he visits Peter. he’s not the man Derek remembers- so full of fire and cunning. their relationship may have been strained at times.#often Derek felt more like Eve being swayed by the snake than a normal friendship#but this isn’t the sharp tongued uncle who guided him. this is a broken shell. all that remained of his family. he was so lost.#22 but he barely knew how to function without his family- his pack paving the way#Laura handled everything. she got the apartment. she made sure they had food. Derek looks back and feels so useless#he was so lost in his grief. Laura must of felt the same way but she never let them drown in it#she made sure he got his GED. even got him to enroll in community college classes.#he took them online. he never was able to warm up to people the same way. he used to be so full of life. now he just wanted to be left alone#he studied English. never finished his degree. doesn’t look like he ever will now. he can’t go back to Laura and his shared home.#can’t bare to see another shell of a home#he vents to the vacant audience of Peter and his cold fixed eyes#Derek leaves. he wants to promise he’ll return soon#but promises feel costly these days#he decides to go back to the reserve. maybe he can find some clue as to what happened to Laura#someone lured her here. someone who knew them and their history here#his mind went to the worst. Kate. why would she go through the trouble six years later. why wait so long.#Derek couldn’t stomach the thought of facing her. he focused on the woods. the scents were all over the place.#clearly multiple people had been through here recently. two scents were much stronger. Derek follows them#but when he hears the crunch of leaves he realizes why the scents are so strong. they’re still here#he ducks behind some trees. listening in on their conversation. but an echo of their scent catches his attention#he spots an inhaler on the ground. he puts two and two together and swipes it from the leaves.#he comes out once they’re closer. tossing over the inhaler- he figures they’ll leave. dumb kids messing around in the woods#he reminds them this is private property. though that may not be true anymore. he recognizes the scent of a new beta. interesting.
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Gear 5 luffy's laugh is so contagious I just hear the drums and go insane how does this work. What did he do to me
#i still cant believe how much this new opening theme goes off.... DREAM SAVE ALL OF US 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH 💥💥💥💥💥💥#wait a second. the robot attacked 200 years ago. the void century was 800 years ago no????? what#oh see it was made 900 years ago.... but why did it attack 200 years ago then.... what happened#it is still so funny how they made evegapunk einstein but with some cunty long legs#200 years ago they gave rights to the gyojin!!! i see i see ✍️✍️also i still wonder why law and kuma have similar hat and pants designs#like there is NO WAY that much similarity isnt done on purpose. NO FUCKING WAY!!! I NEED ANSWERS!!!#are they annihliating cp ships akdhakskd yeah vegapunk letsgo#also the opening song is about dreams and the end one is about luffy reaching shanks...... havent got a clue why but there it is#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1098#also is lucci named lucci bc it kinda sounds like luffy. SERAPHIM KUMA HAS HIS DEVIL FRUIT???? vegapunk could only make zoan fruits????#also wdym when cp0 acts it means its some historic event. lucci is like 25. where are the experienced people here#sentomaru works for vegapunk??? maybe i forgor about this tbh also do theu have a doffy seraphim??? the fact they have animal names....#stussy letting kaku get hurt akdhsjsn oh atlas has lamb ears..... and lucci said she is is prey... no..... the foresahdowing :(#lucci you fucked up she just gave luffy food... that a death sentence look what happened to kaido#episode 1099#<- oh my god btw. god. jesus.#why is akainu telling the cp0 what to do or thinks he can do that... thats the world gov... also thinkng about how garp should fight him#and not luffy.... because of ace you know... i still wonder how did sengoku know who ace's father was... there is only one man who knew....#everyone trying to stop them from fighting ajdhsksjks two rabid dogs fr#LUFFY TAKING OFF HIS JACKET WHEN LUCCI ASKS FOR HIS WANTED SIGN!!!! GO OFF KING!!!! SLAY!!! THE CREW SAW HIM!!! FINALLY!!!#i have been smiling since he started the transformation this is so sick...... i have got a case of the luffy brain#zoan fruits steal the personality of the user when they awaken ✍️✍️ luffy???? nami being the only one who saw gear 5 <3 twins manifesto#robin being so shook about luffy being a god ajdbjansk wdym devil fruits exist because people wish for them. fairy magic real????#WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ARE FROM ALTERNATE REALITIES WHERE SOMEONE DREAMT ABOUT THEM??? DOES HE TRAVEL THRU REALITIES FOR THEM???#jinbe has been making this face 😧 every episode three times it is amazing ajdhaksnsk poor man... now he sees a kid angel version of himself#after seeing hia captain turn into a god... he is gonna get a stroke OMG SENTOMARU WE JUST GOT YOU BACK#episode 1100#<- CRAZY. INSANE. OH GOD. ONLY 12 LEFT. THATS A WEEKEND!!! I CANT DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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happy 15th anniversary to that time someone on the neopets team accidentally released draiks, which - for non-players - are a very popular and once difficult to obtain restricted species and were not supposed to be. this only happens for the species labelled limited edition, which Do become available to create on their event days, and everyone camped out for hours to see if there'd be another batch drop later on (there wasn't).
#neopets#I still vividly remember the collective heart attack everyone (including me) had when#after a long few hours of waiting#a New pet suddenly appeared in the bottom slot of create-a-pet#only to realise it was the tonu. a limited pet that becomes available to create at random times every so often. even outside its pet day#and the waiting topics on the neoboards were full of everyone going FALSE ALARM IT'S TONUS. STUPID TONUS lmao#(the site reason is it happens when the giant omelette is gone.)#oh right so there's this giant omelette. it's a daily thing where you can get free food for your pet by grabbing a slice#I think the lore is that tonus came from eggs. and that's why tonus become available to create when it's gone. or something
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Literally can't pay my rent until I get paid for September, which hasn't happened yet. Today is Friday, and Monday is the last day of the month. I'm so tired of being poor.
#i still cringe to call myself 'poor' bc i have my own apartment and can afford groceries#and even fun stuff like museums and cafe visits and public transport sometimes#but the reality of the matter is that after i pay off my student loans every month#i do not have enough money left to pay the following month's rent#and that's the way it's been my whole life#all my groceries and museum visits and coffee come from those few hundred euros left over#my whole life i've been choosing between 'having savings' and 'having even the smallest most humble life' and obviously i choose the latter#i never go to the movies#i buy all my clothes second hand (got some this past month after not having bought any new clothing in almost two years)#i have visited a museum TWICE this year#i go to restaurants like... once a month max#i am living the most frugal life that i possibly can without denying myself all pleasures#i don't even have netflix or anything like that! i only very rarely order delivery! i cook my own damn meals!#you get the picture#and yet still: one single missed paycheck is enough to potentially fuck up my life seriously#i've never missed a rent payment in my life but i'm scared it may happen this time#just wrote to HR of my former employer (who is supposed to still be paying me through october) to politely ask where my paycheck is#it's probably coming today (i sure as hell hope so) but if it doesn't... i legit don't know how i'm going to pay my rent#my rent is 673 euros and i only have 400 in my bank account#i probably have enough food in my pantry to survive for a month if i had to#but i've never missed rent in germany before (or ever) and i have no idea how long they'd wait before evicting me for non-payment#i'm scared. and i'm tired of being apparently the only fucking person in my social groups who is this poor#i am an over-educated 37-year-old professional who typically gets classed with the 'expats'#but one missed salary payment has me thinking about eviction and affording groceries#this is what i mean when i say i'm an immigrant. not an expat.#those people with their apple watches and co-working spaces and spontaneous trips to thailand or brazil are... a world apart from me#how come everyone i meet is so damn rich? where do i find fellow poor friends?#anyway i'm stressed. and i'm so so tired of spending my mental energy worrying about money#cosmo gyres#personal
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ghouls. is this a safe space. bc i actually really love vaggie and i really really want to love her relationship w charlie but series charlie sometimes makes me want 2 eat drywall in the not-fun way
to tldr it: shit just didn't live up the way i thought it would be lmao
idk what it is that's giving me the bad taste in my mouth but particularly off the dome it's her desire w BEING GOOD and her disdain for hell, the show's pacing, and her inability to stand up for herself? like. why are you apologizing to the angels trying to kill you‼️‼️
sometimes it felt like charlie only rlly cared abt heaven and being good rather than loving her people for what they were, and doesn't seem to mind violence as long as it's undertaken for her own gain. and i don't have a problem with that! i thought they were interesting traits/conflicts that would get some more focus but they. didn't.
and vaggie. i LOVE vaggie so much. i love her design, i love her voice, i love the fallen angel background, i love she has so much love for charlie. ik that last bit is a point of contention for people but i loved it, and i thought all of it would also get more focus and it also didn't
#*shaking charlie by the shoulders* you are the 200y/o eternal princess of hell!!#why are you shooting fireworks at the angels trying to kill you!!#she's not a baby! she's not new to violence!#im not explaining it well but it was so frustrating to watch#but on the other hand#i've been toying w the idea of charlie knowing the whole time abt vaggie's secret‚ and trying to constantly reassure her that she's loved#& like instead of reacting w fear at the trial its just resentment for adam bc that was something VAGGIE was supposed to tell her#in her own time#it would've been a lovely addition to how so much of vaggie is love for charlie. so much of them is love for the other!!!#but it just. falls flat.#who knows! hopefully this will all be solved in s2#but potential-wise i can't help but feel like i just watched someone continuously throw away plates of good food#in any case. vaggie i'm getting you out of there#hazbin hotel critical#long tags#this isn't to like rag on the show; just my personal grievances#i want it to be amazing! but sometimes it felt like i waited years for smth that wasn't worth it
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WHY CANT MY BRAIN BE FUCKING NORMAL
#blue chatter#GRRRRRRRRR#I went to ASL class and somehow missed *all* of it#bc I hit some kind of trigger somehow and had a flashback and then was dissociating all to hell#I thought I was back in high school and Kait was having a panic attack#with a death grip on my arm screaming and sobbing begging me not to leave#and then a teacher screamed at me to leave while they pulled her away to the nurse’s office#and I couldn’t move at all#so I froze in class thinking I couldn’t move or I’d get caught and screamed at#and then briefly resurfaced and tried to ask what happened#but I must have dissociated again because the next thing I knew the TA was asking me if I wanted to stay or leave abd wait in the lobby#I got really scared bc I kept moving and people kept signing at me and I didn’t know what they were saying or what was going on#for a while in the lobby I didn’t know where I was#and then I started dissociating again#by the time I clocked back in I was getting worried messages from Arrow and B was on his way to pick me up#apparently I texted that I was scared and stuck at class and couldn’t get home safely#fuck#B was rly nice about it and got me food on the way home which definitely helped#and stayed with me for a while after I got home to make sure I was okay#I’m just. really angry and upset with myself. bc now I have to go back and pick up my card#and I still have my capstone outline due tomorrow morning that I need to do#and I can’t fucking stay in my body long enough to get anything done#I hate this
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Appointment went fine. Got everything sorted out & got confirmation that I should be able to graduate in the spring.
I also officially applied to graduate.
Got so overwhelmed by this & my grief over the fact that my dad won't be there for it that I ended up crying in the bathroom over it. 👍 but it's a good thing overall. Just. You Know.
#speculation nation#i am Not someone prone to tears so this is very strange.#could count the number of times ive cried in public on my two hand (excluding when i was a kid or at like. funerals.)#can honestly say ive never cried like this in a public bathroom stall before. what a novel experience.#thank god no one's come in tho. which. im still there lol ive been here for like 25 minutes now#got the emotions out tho. and im gonna go eat smth. and then get back to work on my midterm assignment.#dont have very long so i need to do it when im on campus. bc i wont have the motivation at home.#but for now. need to get some food. decompress a bit. and then get to work.#genuinely kind of crazy. i applied to graduate. that feels so surreal.#it's been almost 10 years after all. but finally. Finally... im almost there.#doesnt feel real. still feel pretty overwhelmed. but my schoolwork wont wait for me.#i need to make sure that i do graduate. need to pass all my classes and pass them well.#and man someone just came in lol. almost half an hour after i got here. really is my cue to get going lol#agh. sometimes i hate having emotions.
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How does one go about getting tested for MCAS...
#still trying to see a geneticist about EDS#and now because of long covid conversations talking about MCAS im realizing that may be a relevant problem to me as well#from BEFORE I got COVID#ive had idiopathic anaphylaxis episodes in the past but its been a few years since i had one#so idk if that rules that out#but i do have seemingly ever-changing food allergies/reactions too#like i went a whole year without eating red meat because everytime i ate it i had food poisoning symptoms after for a day or so#and have had constant gastro problems with seemingly random triggers since i was a teenager#also year round allergies#to what? idk#but i live my life sniffling with my ears and throat and skin itching all the time#and heat intolerance#and being seemingly allergic to my own sweat#idk it feels like im looking for reasons for it to be that because imposter syndrome but also with the pots dx#and then my rheum sending me for genetic testing for EDS cuz my labs show i have an autoimmune disease but no positive for anything specific#has me side eyeing in the direction of MCAS because i know how those issues all love to show up in a three for one bundle#ig ill wait and see how the genetic testing goes#cuz idk where to even begin for possible MCAS#and now having long covid too i feel like anything possibly related to that will get shrugged off#because doctors HATE long covid and things that are possibly related to long covid
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Shit I been cooking lately
#upper left was tonight; baked chicken w sauteed broccoli and stovetop mac w sharp ny cheddar#upper right was last night; fried dry rubbed wings w steamed broc and a serving of arroz con mais#lower left is a pizza w a peeled tomato marinara- sliced mozz- THEN pepperoni peppers and onion then topper w shredded mozz#and lower right is pan fried dry rubbed pork chop chunklets w a new zealand white cheddar mac and broiled asparagus seasoned w parmesan#bones rattle#if you need a metric on how old i am i am officially posting food pics#i cant wait till tomatoes are in season so i can do my big pasta shells w mozz pearls and freshly crushed tomatoe sauce and basil#plus i wanna learn how to do chicken n broccoli or bulgogi soon#i need to try some red meat.#plus i still have my ground turkey pastelitos to make...#ive been doing cooking after work as opposed to going right to drawing or gaming and its been soothing after a long day#baking too#i made a big yellow cake in a hotel pan and cookies for later#which is now tbh :3c#''gwen are u getting fatter'' YEA IM EATING FOR MYSELF FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A WHILE#SHUT UR GAB AND EAT MY MANDOLINED CARROTS AND PEAS I PUT CHILI FLAKES IN THE BUTTER SO THEY CAN BLOOM IN FLAVOR W THE CARROTS#skeleeats
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