jason: honestly you’d think it was a bigger deal that i came back from the dead. you didn't even throw me a party
dick: well our excitement was somewhat mitigated by your murder spree
dick: we knew you as an adorable little sunshine boy!
damian: adorable??? surely you’ve misspoken
stephanie: look at him! he was a cutie! [holds up a photo of young jason in his bright green robin shorts]
jason: WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT
tim: i’m tweeting the photo right now
jason: NO
jason: IM EDGY I CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD THATS SPOOKY IM SPOOKY
dick: ...
tim: ...
damian: ...
stephanie: to be fair this is a pretty tough crowd
jason: don't patronize me
488 notes
·
View notes
TOOK FOREVER BUT SOOOOOO WORTH IT!
aka mY IDEAL BATFAM UNIVERSE TYVMUCHBYEEE
23K notes
·
View notes
my favourite part of the Wayne Kids being, you know, the Waynes, and popular celebrities is the fact that these are teenagers and young adults who are given ... celebrity powers. and i know they're stupidly petty with them. every time you log onto twitter you'd see 3 of them engaged in a sibling argument, completely uncaring that it's being broadcasted to thousands of people
Dick, tweeting: Tim stole my sandwich today, hey siri how do i un-adopt a sibling?
Tim: ??? I didn't steal your sandwich??
Dick: Then who did??? It was there this morning and you were the only one in the manor the entire morning??
Tim: Dick, my unfortunately kind of favourite brother, I was not in the manor today
Dick: YOU WEREN'T?!?!?
Tim: no, I've been in my apartment all week. did you hallucinate me?? LMFAO
Cass: I was there this morning.
Dick: Oh. No wonder then??? You 2 look too similar, one of you needs to cut your hair
Tim: Not it
Cass: . . .
Tim: on second thought, maybe it's time for a haircut
Cass: :D <3
Tim: Love you too, Cass
Random Twitter User, quote tweeting the last tweet: So did you ever find out who took Dick's sandwich????
Cass: Jay did.
Dick: JAY DID?!?!?
Cass: Oh. Did you not know?
Dick: NO?!????
Cass: Oh. @/jason start running. Sorry.
Steph: Guys Jason might deadass die again Dick is ONTO him
Random Twitter User: ... Again?
Steph: hardly the point rn, jared
Babs: Why did Jason just climb in my window asking me to hide him
Tim: he's running from Dick, lol
Babs: Oh, why?
Tim: he ate his sandwich
Babs: Got it, he's hiding behind my couch now, screeching about Cass betraying him.
Dick: BABS DON'T MOVE. DON'T LET HIM LEAVE.
12K notes
·
View notes
Tim is the only one who calls the poor thing Gina 😭
10K notes
·
View notes
Watching from afar
16K notes
·
View notes
Part One, I guess, I might start doing the batfam, too
9K notes
·
View notes
Batfam AU
Damian was captured by some villain, and Dick just saved him.
Nightwing: Why didn't you send a distress signal? You could have gotten hurt. What if I didn't get here in time?
Robin: tt, stop your incessant nagging, Grayson. I can handle myself. Besides, I did send out a distress signal.
Nightwing: Really, cause I didn't get it, and neither did B.
Robin, realizing something: Ah, I believe I may have alerted someone else of my capture then...
Nightwing: who-
He's cut off as a red figure barrels through the window, shattering it.
Red Hood, guns cocked as he looks around the room: Who the fuck do I need to kill?
Robin, deadpan: Impeccable timing as always, Akhi.
9K notes
·
View notes
AU that the batkids are all serious and bat-like ONLY WHEN BATMAN ISN’T AROUND
Like when they’re on their own team/out of Gotham? Most respected, calm and serious person there. They have a plan and it will work. “Oh yeah I memorized all the exits and people here the second I entered, you didn’t?” That’s them.
But in Gotham w/ Batman? Pranks galore and singing on patrol, they forget to sleep and forget to eat. When Batman tells them their gonna have a longer patrol they all sigh and complain while trying to give other siblings their work in exchange for doing that sibling’s chore.
But nobody knows that they act like that!! Batman would say something like
“Gosh my kids blew something up I have to go,”
AND EVERYONE WHOSE EVER MET THEM IS ALL CONFUSED LIKE “BUT THEIR A BAT?!?! HUH??!”
and Batman would respond
“Oh yeah you know them, always doing something their not supposed to”
JL: “NO?!”
13K notes
·
View notes
part of my kid!robins au
16K notes
·
View notes
I am loudly pushing the batdad agenda i am loudly pushing the— DPxDC Prompt
“Woah. You look like shit."
Granted, that’s probably not the first thing Danny should be saying to the guy that just bit the curb, but in his defense; he’s not running on 100% right now either.
The man -- tall, towering, and broader than Danny is tall -- whips around on his heel, black frayed cape flaring out impressively. Danny would've whistled in appreciation, but he takes the time instead to wipe the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing the blood running from his nose across his cheek.
"Sorry." He blinks widely, not even flinching as the man with the horns zeroes in on him. "That was rude of me. I have a really bad brain-to-mouth filter; Sam says its what always gets me into trouble."
And she's not wrong either, per say. His smart mouth is what landed him in this situation -- with blood blossom extract running through his veins and cannibalizing the ectoplasm in his bloodstream. Thanks Vlad.
The man grunts at him; a short, curt "hm" that shouldn't make Danny smile, but he does because he's somewhat delirious and probably concussed. The man keeps some kind of distance, sinking towards the shadows of Gotham's alleyway like he dares to melt right into it.
If it's supposed to scare Danny, it doesn't work. Danny's never been afraid of the dark; he's always been able to hide himself in it. He blinks slowly at the mass of shadows.
"You look hurt." The shadows says, blurring together around the edges. Danny squints, and licks his lips to get the blood dripping down his chin off. Ugh, he hates the taste of blood.
"I am." He says, "My godfather poisoned me. M'dying." The agony of the blood blossom eating him from the inside out looped back around to numbing a while ago, so all he feels is half-awake and dazed.
"Hey," Danny stumbles forward towards the man, a bloodied hand reaching out to him. "You-- you're a hero, right? You're not attacking me; which is more than I can say for most costumed people I've met." Maybe it's a poor bar to judge someone at, but he's already established that Danny's not in his right mind.
The man makes no change in expression, but Danny realizes blearily that it's hard to tell with the shadows on his face. He stays still long enough for Danny to latch onto the cape -- stretchy, but almost soft under his fingers.
He looks up blearily into the whites of the man's eyes. "Can you help me? I don't-- I don't wanna die." Again. He doesn't wanna die again. He blinks slow and lizard-like. "I mean- I'll probably get to see mom and dad again, but I told them I'd at least try and make it to adulthood."
There's a clatter down the street, and Danny's ghost sense chills up his spine and leaves a bitter, ashy taste in his mouth. He immediately knows who it belongs to even before the deceptively gentle; "Daniel?" echoes down the way.
"Daniel? Quit your games, badger, Gotham is dangerous for children."
Danny's mouth pulls back, and blood spills against his tongue. "Please." He rasps, and grabs onto the shadow's cape with both hands. "Please. He's going to kill me. Please--"
"Daniel? Is that you?"
His lips part, dragging in air to plead with the darkness again. He doesn't need to, the whites of his eyes narrow, and the cape whirls around him before Danny can blink. Soon swaddled in shadows, the Night lifts him up, and steals him away.
5K notes
·
View notes
If chaos was personified I think it would be Damian. Tiny child filled with rage and equipped with far too many weapons.
They look SO CUTE altogether!!
I love this au so much. Bats on thrones makes me so happy.
5K notes
·
View notes
Tim and Kon's part alien son: grandpa I promise if I ever become evil and take over the world I won't kill you
Bruce: thank you chum 🥰💖💖 do you want another ice cream sandwich
(pfp by @gendersnatcher)
9K notes
·
View notes