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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 3 months ago

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Trey Clover: Eyes Up Here

Wow, glasses off Trey? He’s still making the same one brow lifted smirk though 😂 HE KINDA LOOKS LIKE SEBEK WITHOUT THE GLASSES... I don’t know how to describe this artwork + this voice other than saying “Trey fans all want one thing and it’s disgusting”/j; he just seems to attract people that are really into the beefy dad types.

Trey’s Campwear jacket also had Painted on it. I wonder if that’s a brand in the Twst world? And his cardigan is the color of dentist scrubs—

Rise and Shine!

Mornings were a blur. Not that they went by fast, but they were literally a blur.

When Trey woke, his surroundings were smears of color. Slapped together indiscriminately, no clear form or boundaries between the hues. It’s not until he slipped his spectacles on that everything cleared up, sharpening into proper shapes and recognizable objects.

Running a hand through his short hair, he gave a yawn as he wandered into the washroom. The ceiling was curved and patterned like the sky. Paired with grass-like tiles and flowery sinks and lamps, the space created the illusion of stepping outside.

The washroom was shared among all of the dorm's residents. A few of them had been so bold as to leave their toiletries around: deodorant sticks, labelled bottles of shampoo and conditioner. But there was never any mistaking of Trey’s things for another’s.

He was the only one with an entire case to carry his dental hygiene routine. There was: a main toothbrush (changed to a new one every 3-4 months, or whenever he noticed significant bristle damage), several specialized toothbrushes (one for the back, one for scraping the tongue...), two spares, a selection of flavored toothpastes (fluoride added), and three containers of floss.

No mouthwash though--"It washes away too much," Trey would tell anyone who was willing to listen, "the bad bacteria and the good. All the saliva and mucous. We need those things to have a healthy, thriving oral microbiome."

“There are 810 rules by the Queen of Hearts,” the Heartslabyul students often joked, “and just as many steps in the vice dorm leader’s teeth cleaning routine.”

"Come on, guys. It's not that long," he'd say. "The dentist recommends two minutes, twice a day. I only take a little more than that to make sure I get in all the crevices..."

Trey counted the seconds as he ran his toothbrushes along his teeth, his gums, his hard palate, his tongue and under it. Five minutes, including flossing and rinsing.

See? Not that long. He’d have to tell his dorm mates when he could.

He held out a hand in front of his mouth and exhaled. A puff of air was trapped for just long enough for him to catch a whiff of minty freshness.

Alright.

Satisfied, he left with his bag and books.

Students peeled down Main Street, on their way to class. He was one of hundreds, living his ordinary life.

And he liked it that way.

Trey squinted. A circle in his vision was out of focus.

He removed his glasses to check for imperfections. And, sure enough, there was a bead of water in the middle of his lenses—likely a stray fleck from when he had been diligently cleaning his mouth. In a blink of that blurred world, he wiped the glasses up and placed them back on his nose.

Everything returned to full clarity.

“Good morning, Trey-senpai!” a voice called out to him.

He slowed his walk, allowing you to match his pace. His mouth cocked to one side as you pulled into view. “Morning.”

There’s a faint cloud hanging around him. Something sweet, yet also bright. Minty sugar, you think, leaning into it. Mmmmm.

“Did you eat breakfast?” Trey asked, and you laughed.

“That’s so dad of you to say.”

“Breakfast is an important meal of the day.” Trey adjusted his frames. A flash of white-his teeth. “So? Did you?”

“Wellllll…” You let your voice trail off.

The white had vanished behind his lips, but your gaze still lingered there. You knew you were staring, but you couldn’t tear yourself away.

“Hey now.” He tapped the rim of his glasses. “My eyes are up here.”

“Oh, sorry!” you startled, face warming. “It’s just… you have a really nice smile. It’s hard not to notice it.”

“Is that right?” He chuckled, easily laughing—not at you, never at you, but with you. “I’m flattered. Most people don’t seem to appreciate one.”

“No one in your dorm?”

“No. I’m pretty sure most of the guys in Heartslabyul think what I do’s a little excessive. Even Riddle doesn’t totally get it.”

“They must be jealous. The results speak for themselves.”

“That’s kind of you. Hey, you know what?" Trey leaned down, cupping a hand to his mouth. His voice was amplified in your ear.

Your heart leapt, thudding like the feet of a rabbit scampering down a dirt path. Your flesh was on fire, though Trey laid not a single finger on you.

"Y-Yes?!"

"I think you have a really nice smile too."

He smirked—and fireworks went off in your head. One, two, three. Colorful flowers blooming in the sky.

Your hands flew to your cheeks, as if that would somehow help to cool you off.

“Haha, are you embarrassed?” Trey’s eyes crinkled, as they always did, when he was amused. “I’m glad I got to see it up close and personal for myself. It was worth it.”

“M-My eyes are up here,” you managed to shoot back. Scathingly, you hoped.

His responding grin was crooked. For a second, you saw the him that hid behind humility, the not-so-kind Trey. His kind, toothy smile laced with a trace of poison.

“My bad. I see now I should’ve been nicer to you.”

“Was that a dad joke?!”

“Maybe. Who’s to know?”

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst x reader #Trey Clover x Reader #Reader #self insert #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #something no one asked for #Trey birthday takeover #Trey Clover #jp spoilers #twst imagines #twisted wonderland imagines #twst scenarios #twisted wonderland scenarios

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hellyeahsickaf · 4 months ago

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Low Spoons and Hygiene

Sometimes being disabled means struggling with hygiene and that can be embarrassing, even though it's not your fault or a reflection of you as a person. Nobody wants to be stinky or feel dirty, especially when a lot of illnesses and disabilities can entail symptoms like excessive sweating that can make the issue of struggling with hygiene a million times worse.

But smelling bad is the least of your worries, as poor hygiene can lead to things like skin infections. Bacteria and fungi like hanging around in stagnant, often damp areas that collect sweat. And most people have folds- even if just a little, which can be the ideal habitat for dangerous microorganisms. Not changing your underwear/bra or washing your body for an extended period can lead to things like jock itch, intertrigo, yeast infections, athlete's foot, UTIs (anyone can get one and they can spread to the kidneys within days or even hours- and you need those little guys!), all sorts of complications. The existence of foul or sometimes even a slightly "sweet" odor on your body or even in your urine tends to indicate the existence of bacteria (it's why armpits stink) or fungi like candida. Dental hygiene is equally important- an infected tooth or excessive cavities can be bad news. If you experience these things or struggle to regularly care for your body, it's not something to be ashamed of. All of those complications can and do happen to people who do everything right.

Note that issues like UTIs or dental infections don't tend to just go away on their own and need to be treated as urgently as possible.

However, I'll share some things that may prevent or remedy issues like infections and odor that's gotten out of hand and hopefully some may find this list helpful in some way. Any products I've listed may be found at other retailers or at different prices, they're just examples. Feel free to add on to it.

The bare minimum is always better than nothing. Brushing with just a dry toothbrush, using disposable body wipes or a washcloth/sponge instead of a shower, dry shampoo (the sprays are actually pretty bad for you, I'd stay away from those if possible), leave in conditioner, also whole body deodorant is a thing. If the most you can do is change your clothes- hell even just change your bra and/or underwear, it can be the one thing between you and an awful infection.

If infections are a concern, like if say you suffer from chronic UTIs or yeast infections it's advisable to wear breathable cotton underwear.

If you can't get up to brush your teeth or struggle to do so, it may be helpful to purchase disposable toothbrushes. These ones have floss picks attached.

Flossing is just as, if not more important than brushing. If you only have the energy to floss on some days, do that. If you need to keep floss picks and a place to dispose of them near your bed, then that's fine (just don't let it pile on without disposing of it and create a biohazard). it can help remove food particles that help create a breeding ground for bacteria. Also gently moving in and out between your teeth with slight movement if needed is ideal, don't roughly saw across your gums, ouch.

If you struggle with wiping say due to mobility issues, there are products for this. Wiping back to front as an alternative risks yeast infections and UTIs. It's a very common cause of these diseases due to bacteria like e-coli. We do not want that.

Crashing and can't wash your sheets? Out of shirts with no energy to do the laundry today? Antimicrobial fabric spray may help with the odor and bacteria that accumulates on fabric as a temporary fix until you can properly wash it. Try not to wear clothing or interact with fabrics like blankets and couches that are still wet from the spray, as that can irritate the skin.

Try to avoid "feminine wash" products if possible, you don't need the fancy Summer's Eve premium strawberry hibiscus blush scented whatever, it can fuck up your PH and kill good bacteria despite claims to do otherwise. Same with PH wipes. It's recommended not to use soap on your genitalia, especially scented and especially if you have a vagina. If you must use some sort of soap, dermatologists typically recommend the most basic, unscented wash. And do not put it in your body by any means.

Rinse free shower sponges have been a life saver for me, especially the ones that also work as shampoo (it's probably not color safe tho). You just add water, lather, and make sure you dry off well. If it helps you determine how much to buy, I normally find myself using maybe 3-5 sponges each time.

OTC jock itch cream can work for some fungal infections on the body not limited to jock itch but if you see no difference or worsening within a few days of using it, consult a dermatologist as you may need something different or stronger.

Unscented pads and tampons are best and should be changed every 4 hours or so ideally. Never leave a tampon in for over 8 hours. Despite common fears, 9 hours won't give you toxic shock syndrome, that normally takes a few days and is quite rare with tampons but that doesn't mean that 13 hours or something is good or safe. I've just heard some say that sex ed scared them away from tampons after being told stories of TSS. I hear that menstrual cups are also a great alternative that many don't consider.

Monistat and similar yeast infection products often come with different options like 3 day treatment, 5 day treatment, 7 day. I know you want to feel better ASAP, but just take into account that 3 day will be highly concentrated and can cause more burning than the 7 day. Longer treatment may also be more effective in some cases. Penile yeast infections exist as well. Just be aware that some products are more potent than others regardless of birth sex. Antifungals in general may cause itching and/or burning, which some are more sensitive to than others or may even find triggering in cases where it must be applied to the genitalia.

Hydrocortisone cream is your best friend if you're experiencing itchiness due to things like skin infections, contact dermatitis, yeast infections, etc. But please don't use it to mask the symptoms of an infection without treating it.

How frequently you need to wash your hair varies by hair type. This can vary between every 2 days for some and every 1-2 weeks for coily and textured hair. Make sure you look into what is ideal for your hair type. And again on days where you cannot wash, disposable sponges and dry shampoo can be a life saver.

If something is discolored, odorous, itchy, inflamed, bumpy, producing moisture, warm to the touch, oozy, weepy, splotchy, sticky, burning/painful, it may likely be an infection or in some cases an allergic reaction. Familiarize yourself with what different skin infections and diseases may look like on your skin tone. Ringworm and other fungal infections for instance may appear red or pink on fair or lighter brown skin, but on darker skin may appear gray or darker brown.

Fungal infections are also super fucking contagious. To other parts of your body, other people, even to pets. Wash your hands well with antibacterial soap, especially before and after applying any topical treatment or touching the area in any way. After a shower, PAT the infected area dry and do not reuse that towel or use on other parts of the body.

Invest in a shower chair if you feel it may help you, it's one of the best things I've ever bought. I didn't want to get one at first because it felt like I was "giving in" to my disability more and more but that's the internalized ableism talking. Get the shower chair.

A bar to help you stand from the toilet/tub/shower chair may also be helpful.

Again, feel free to add to the list if you want!

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reality-detective · 10 months ago

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Xylitol is a natural sugar alcohol that boasts numerous benefits for dental health.

Unlike regular sugar, xylitol doesn't fuel the bacteria in your mouth that cause tooth decay. Instead, it disrupts their ability to adhere to teeth, reducing plaque formation and the risk of cavities.

Additionally, xylitol stimulates saliva production, which helps neutralize acids and re-mineralize enamel, promoting stronger teeth.

Incorporating xylitol into your oral care routine, whether through chewing gum, mints, or toothpaste, can contribute to healthier teeth and gums.

So next time you reach for a sweet treat, consider the dental benefits of xylitol and indulge guilt-free in its cavity-fighting properties. 🤔

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with-my-calamitous-love · 8 months ago

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BSD CHARACTER PET PEEVES

various, just a few hcs! a few x reader things in there too

atsushi is a pretty easy-going guy and not many things seem to piss him off. the biggest exception to this is bad breath. maybe its because his ability grants him heightened senses, but his face scowls in disgust whenever someone dazai has an off smell while speaking. on the flipside, atsushi can also smell his own breath. sometimes late at night when he comes home you find him scrubbing his teeth, with soap if he uses up all the toothpaste. buy him lots of mints! he’ll probably end up offering them to people dazai

much like atsushi, tanizaki isn’t easily bothered. however, if he is rushing to return home to his dear sister, or walking by her side on the street, he hates slow walkers. his patience wears thin whenever someone on the sidewalk is meandering with 0 spacial awareness. he doesn’t often act on it, leaving you to squeak by an excuse me! to make way for you and him- and he loves you for it.

yosano has many, many pet peeves- but the biggest of these is leaving the toilet seat up. poor girl has to share an office with so many boys- and it doesn’t help that she already has a strong distaste for the opposite gender. she will either use her leg or will call you to come fix it for her- and afterwards she’ll lecture you on all the harmful bacteria you can contract illnesses from in bathrooms. shes a doctor and she means well <3 just fix the damn toilet seat

ranpo, being a lover of sweets, hates overly priced candy. he is childish and isn’t too financially literate, but he knows that a pack of gum should not be $6. he especially hates gas station candy- one, for the quality, but two for the fact that they cost you an arm and a leg. take him to a regular grocery store- or better yet- make him some sweets yourself! they taste better when you make them and when they’re free

kenji is a sweet, easy going, ray of sunshine who hates the sound of stomachs growling- especially his own. perhaps its because of his strong feelings toward poverty, and the sounds of hunger sends shivers down his spine, but he especially can’t stand it if its from his or your tummy. make sure he (and yourself!) are always fed <3 unless he needs to pick up some cars and lift stop signs from the ground

kyouka hates knuckles cracking with all her being. really any body part casually being cracked in public annoys her. i say this because i hc atsushi to be a big knuckle cracker, and can imagine kyouka silently quaking with rage next to him with demon snow prepared to strike. please don’t crack anything around her!

lord, kunikida’s list pf annoyances probably take up 3 pages. gum chewing, interruptions, tardiness, misspellings- but the biggest of these is giving and not returning. and this is SPECIFICALLY for his precious fountain pens. he has a written list of every time and every pen dazai has borrowed and has never gotten back. i imagine dazai does that purely because he knows it pisses kunikida off, and just has his pens lying around in a drawer somewhere. please always return his things! and give him a peck on the cheek too <3

dazai isn’t on this list because dazai is the pet peeve of the whole agency

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yahumankdj · 2 months ago

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I don’t know if I’m just slow or kind of smart for realising this but I’ve just come to a startling realisation at 7am while washing my face.

What is ‘mouthwashing’ and by extent the mouthwash itself meant to represent?

If it kills 99.9% of bacteria, the 0.1% is Jimmy obviously, but who’s the one meant to be killing/getting rid of him, as well as protecting the teeth (in this case the crew)?

And then it hit me

CURLY YOU SICK SON OF NICE LADY

The mouthwash is Curly???!?!?!!?!?!!?

He is the ships captain, and has responsibility to protect and help everyone one it, like how mouthwash is meant to kill germs and protect your gum and teeth, right? But, due to his soft spot for Jimbo (read: Anya saying the sugar content outweighs the cleansing effect of the alcohol therefore making it useless) Obviously relating to how he’s essentially rendered useless to help the crew after the crash, as well as the double meaning with drinking the mouthwash, which I will now explain.

After the crash, most of the crew use the mouthwash as a coping mechanism similar to alcohol (because of its high alcohol content) but the only one who doesn’t drink it is Anya, except during her death (?) as it doesn’t help her drinking.

AKA, each of the crew members were helped/able to cope, except for Anya, who was overlooked by Curly because of his ‘sweetness’ towards Jambalaya.

AGAIN THE HIGH SUGAR CONTENT.

Jimboclat was the 0.1% of bacteria that wasn’t killed by Curly because of his sugar content, making him useless to Anya.

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk, fuck Jimmarine.

#mouthwashing #yes I refuse to type JimmyChoos name #curly mouthwashing #captain curly #anya mouthwashing #jimmy mouthwashing #introspection

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theambitiouswoman · 6 months ago

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I have been using bentonite clay for toothpaste and as a face mask and I absolutely love it.

Bentonite is a type of clay from volcanic ash 🌋 that is known for its rich minerals and has been used for centuries for its detoxifying and healing properties.

Five uses of Bentonite Clay:

1. Hair: a great detoxifier and restorative of your hairs natural pH balance. It removes excess oil, strengthens hair and adds shine.

2. Body: helps rid the body of toxins when used in baths. It binds to heavy metals and other impurities helping remove them. It balances the body’s pH by providing calcium, magnesium, and potassium.

3. Inner health: alleviates digestive issues by binding to and gets rid of toxins in the gut. It enhances the absorption of nutrients by balancing gut bacteria.

4. Skincare: absorbs excess oil and unclogs pores. Exfoliates the skin as well as tightens and tones; reducing the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.

5. Toothpaste: removes toxins and bacteria, minerals, and impurities. Soothes gums. Contains minerals that strengthen teeth and can help remove stains.

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outpouringstorm · 7 months ago

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more transmasc hygiene tips from a trans guy now *checks watch* 983 days on t

general:

if you are for whatever reason unable to brush your teeth, use mouthwash ! it’ll help get rid of some of that bacteria in ur mouth (i was actually told this by my dentist bc i have major problems with this as well)

if you are able to brush your teeth, make sure your brush up on your gums to get rid of bacteria and prevent and treat things like gingivitis

transmasc specific:

if you’re growing or trying to grow facial hair, it’s important to take care of your skin, especially the skin where that hair grows - set up a solid skincare routine including exfoliating your skin around once a week (try not to exfoliate the same day you shave because shaving itself is an extreme form of exfoliation) exfoliating helps get rid of dead skin and prevent ingrown hairs

replace your razor head when you need to and rinse your razor between shaves so you can get a cleaner shave

i myself am really bad about this but don’t dry shave ! use shaving cream and let it sit on your face for a little bit to soften the hair to prevent skin irritation

if you want to grow facial hair it does take time and it has to do with genetics and etc but (and i haven’t tried this yet but it’s coming in the mail) i have heard great things about dr. dht’s growth oil* - dermaroll your face before so the oil can absorb into your skin more and then apply the oil where you want facial hair to grow

*dr dht is a brand created by a trans man and his growth oil is free of dht blockers - dht blockers are found in a lot of other facial hair growth products but dht is necessary for facial hair growth to occur (dht blockers can actually be good for head hair, but facial hair is different)

backing off facial hair now bc not everyone wants it and that’s okay, let’s focus on more transmasc specific general hygiene

you will stink. it’s inevitable- try out different things that work best to get rid of your stink like full body deodorant sprays and different types and brands of regular deodorant and experiment with different colognes and body sprays and perfumes until you find one or a combination that you like

one thing that no one told me about going on t is that i have to do my laundry more often now because my clothes stink more

yknow those car fresheners that work really well? the oil ones you hang from your mirror?

these?

get one for your room. hang one from your fan and put one in your closet - it’s inconvenient to tip them to get them to work but they work better than any other air freshener

another thing i like to freshen up my room is wilson & son spoon company room sprays (they make perfumes and body oils too that smell really good) they’re room sprays are really potent and they have some really nice scents - me and my sister have tried marshmallow fluff, fruity-o’s, and iced coffee and they all smell great my sisters wears the iced coffee perfume every day and i frequently spray my room with the fruity-o’s room spray

i’m out of ideas so that’s it for this post! remember to try your best to smell good even if you think you smell okay with nothing on, im not saying you have to go out of your way to buy expensive products or do anything really im just sharing some things thatve helped me :)

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nenelonomh · 6 months ago

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oral hygiene practices

maintaining healthy teeth and gums is crucial for many reasons:

prevents tooth decay and gum disease. regular brushing and flossing remove plaque, a sticky film of bacteria that can lead to cavities and gum disease if not properly managed.

maintains fresh breath. poor oral hygiene can cause bad breath (halitosis). brushing your teeth, and tongue, and using mouthwash can help keep your breath fresh.

reduces the risk of systemic diseases. there is a strong link between oral health and overall health. poor oral hygiene can contribute to conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, and respiratory infections.

saves money. preventive care is often less expensive than treating dental problems. regular check-ups and cleanings can help catch issues early before they become more serious and costly.

so, let's look at some key practices to help maintain your smile.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ brush your teeth twice a day. use fluoride toothpaste and a soft-bristled toothbrush. brush for at least two minutes, making sure to clean all surfaces of your teeth.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ floss daily. flossing helps remove plaque and food particles between your teeth and under the gumline where your toothbrush can’t reach.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ use mouthwash. an antimicrobial or fluoride mouthwash can help reduce plaque, prevent cavities, and freshen your breath.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ maintain a healthy diet. limit sugary foods and drinks, as they can contribute to tooth decay. eating a balanced diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables can support overall oral health.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ stay hydrated. drinking plenty of water, especially fluoridated tap water, helps wash away food particles and bacteria.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ avoid tobacco products. smoking and chewing tobacco can lead to gum disease, tooth decay, and oral cancer.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ replace your toothbrush regularly. change it over every three to four months, or sooner if the bristles are frayed.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ visit your dentist regularly. regular dental check-ups and professional cleanings are essential for maintaining oral health and catching any issues early.

i know that i am only reinforcing what your dentist is already telling you - but my purpose is to provide easy information and further reading resources that may teach you something new. by incorporating these practices into your daily routine, you can keep your teeth and gums healthy.

unfortunately, i know many people who ignore simple health facts (for a multitude of reasons). but this is not the way! looking after your health and your body is so important!

for further reading:

Oral Hygiene: Best Practices & Instructions for Good Routine | Cleveland Clinic

WOHD23-factsheet-oralhygiene-EN.pdf | FDI World Dental Foundation

Oral Hygiene | National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research

the original oral hygiene post (by me)

❤️ nene

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healthiswealthuniverse · 1 year ago

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The Intricate Connection Between Gum Inflammation, Diabetes, and Vitamin Deficiency: A Closer Look at Oral Flora

In this blog, we will delve into the details of how these three factors are interconnected and can significantly impact oral flora, the delicate ecosystem of microorganisms in our mouths. #vitamindeficiency #guminflammation #diabetes #oralhealth

Maintaining good oral health is not just about having a sparkling smile; it is a crucial component of overall well-being. One often-overlooked aspect of oral health is the intricate relationship between gum inflammation, diabetes, and the role of vitamin deficiency. In this blog, we will delve into the details of how these three factors are interconnected and can significantly impact oral flora,…

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surgerypatient · 6 months ago

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Alan Strid/@gas-writer "The Medical test" continued with AI

He neglected continuing the story for a reason but said nothing of anyone else doing such a thing, so here's mine:

Antiseptic Sterilization

The antiseptic sterilization room is starkly clean, a sterile contrast to the unremarkable building where this began. The nurses, faces obscured by surgical masks and protective face shields, move with mechanical precision. They start by handling your unconscious body with latex-gloved hands, applying a transparent ointment around each orifice. This ointment serves as a barrier, preventing any microbial invasion. Using small applicator sticks dipped in medical glue, they seal the ointment in place. The process is meticulous and thorough, starting with your eyes, then moving to your mouth around the endotracheal tube, your ears, nostrils, and finally, other orifices. The sensation of the ointment is cold and slightly numbing, and the glue quickly hardens, forming an airtight seal to ensure no contamination.

Next, they place you into a tight, velvet-feeling fishnet sack. The fabric clings to your skin, and you feel the rough texture against your flesh. A network of solution nozzles surrounds you, and with a sudden synchronized hiss, they begin dousing your body with a cleansing solution. The liquid is cold and stings slightly as it contacts your skin, stripping away all exposed hair, bacteria, and dead skin. The nozzles operate in stages, each one administering a different type of spray. Some emit a fine mist that coats every inch of your body, while others deliver a jet stream that forcefully washes away debris. A few nozzles provide a gentle, pulsating wash, ensuring that every part of your body is thoroughly cleansed and sterilized. The process is repeated several times to ensure complete sterilization, and the solution is allowed to sit for a few moments to maximize its effectiveness before being rinsed away.

Securing Vitals Monitoring

Before proceeding with the surgeries, the medical team secures various monitoring devices to your body to keep track of your vital signs throughout the procedures. Electrodes for heart rate and electrocardiogram (ECG) monitoring are placed on your chest, secured with a layer of medical glue to ensure they remain in place despite any movements. A bispectral index (BIS) monitor, which tracks your level of consciousness through EEG data, is attached to your forehead with the same adhesive. Additionally, a pulse oximeter is clipped to your finger to measure blood oxygen content, and its sensor is reinforced with glue to prevent dislodgment.

32-Tooth Extraction

Once back in the OR, the sealing substances are carefully removed, leaving your skin clean and smooth. You are positioned on the dental operating table, and the tooth extraction begins.

The surgical team starts by donning fresh gloves, masks, and gowns. They position you on the dental operating table and use surgical drapes to cover your body, leaving only your mouth exposed. The nurse inserts a mouth prop to keep your mouth open wide, ensuring it remains open during the procedure. The surgeon selects a straight elevator and begins to loosen each tooth methodically. The elevator is inserted between the tooth and the surrounding gum, and a gentle twist loosens the tooth from its socket. This process is repeated for each tooth, feeling for the slight give that indicates the ligaments have been disrupted.

Once the teeth are sufficiently loosened, the surgeon switches to dental forceps. The forceps grip the crown of each tooth firmly, and with a twisting and pulling motion, the teeth are extracted one by one. The sound of the roots breaking free from the jawbone is a mix of crunching and popping, which can be unsettling. The suction device is used continuously, gurgling as it removes saliva and blood from your mouth, ensuring a clear field for the surgeon.

After all 32 teeth are removed, the surgeon inspects the empty sockets for any remaining fragments or debris. She then uses a bone file to smooth any rough edges on the jawbone, ensuring there are no sharp points that could cause discomfort later. Finally, dissolvable sutures are placed in each socket to close the wounds and promote healing. The surgeon ensures that the sutures are evenly spaced and securely tied to prevent any post-operative complications.

Tonsillectomy and Adenoidectomy

Next is the tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy. The team repositions you and adjusts the drapes to expose your mouth and throat.

The procedure begins with the insertion of a mouth gag to keep your mouth open wide. The gag is adjusted to ensure your mouth remains open without causing undue pressure on your teeth or jaws. The surgeon uses a scalpel to make small, precise incisions around the tonsils. Each cut is deliberate, designed to minimize bleeding and provide a clear path for removal. The tonsils are then partially severed from their attachments, and the surgeon switches to an electrocautery device.

The electrocautery device emits a low humming sound as it activates. This tool uses electrical current to cut through the remaining tissue and simultaneously cauterize blood vessels, reducing the risk of excessive bleeding. The surgeon carefully maneuvers the device around the tonsils, ensuring complete removal while controlling any bleeding. The tonsils are then gripped with forceps and extracted, leaving small, cauterized craters where they once were.

The adenoids are next. The surgeon uses a mirror and headlight to visualize the adenoids at the back of the nasal passage. She then employs a curette, a specialized scraping instrument, to remove the adenoid tissue. The curette is inserted through your mouth and maneuvered into position. With a swift scraping motion, the adenoids are detached and removed. Again, the electrocautery device is used to control bleeding and ensure all adenoid tissue is excised.

Hemostats are applied as needed to clamp off any small vessels that continue to bleed, and the suction device is used continuously to remove blood and other fluids from the surgical site. The surgeon ensures that all remnants of the tonsils and adenoids are completely removed before concluding the procedure. She checks the surgical area thoroughly, using a combination of direct visualization and palpation to confirm that the tissues are clean and free of any remaining debris.

The entire process is meticulous, with the surgeon and her team working in unison to ensure a smooth and successful operation. After the procedure is complete, the mouth gag is carefully removed, and the drapes are adjusted to prepare for the next phase of surgery.

Appendectomy

You are moved to the OR table and positioned for an appendectomy. Fresh surgical drapes are applied, covering you except for the surgical site on your lower abdomen. The sterile field is established meticulously, with each drape placed precisely to ensure no contamination.

The surgeon begins by making an incision with a scalpel just above your right hip. The initial cut is about three inches long, slicing through the skin and subcutaneous tissue. Once the incision is made, the surgeon uses retractors to hold the incision open, providing a clear view of the underlying tissues. Hemostats are applied to clamp any bleeding vessels, ensuring a bloodless field. The surgeon then uses Metzenbaum scissors for delicate dissection, carefully navigating through layers of muscle and fat to reach the appendix.

As she approaches the peritoneum, the thin membrane that lines the abdominal cavity, she switches to a more delicate touch, making a small incision in the peritoneum to gain access to the abdominal organs. The surgeon gently lifts the loops of intestine, searching for the appendix. Once located, the appendix is carefully isolated from surrounding tissues.

The surgeon clamps the base of the appendix with a pair of hemostats to prevent any contents from leaking into the abdomen. She then uses Metzenbaum scissors to cut the appendix free from the cecum, the part of the intestine where it is attached. The removed appendix is placed in a sterile container for examination. Surgical sponges are used to absorb blood and fluids, keeping the area clean.

To close the incision, the surgeon first sutures the peritoneum with absorbable stitches, ensuring that the abdominal cavity is sealed. She then sutures the muscle layers, being careful to align the tissues properly to promote healing. Finally, the skin is closed with either sutures or surgical staples, and a sterile dressing is applied to protect the wound.

Gallbladder Removal

Gallbladder removal follows. The team re-drapes you to expose the upper right quadrant of your abdomen, ensuring a sterile field. The procedure is performed laparoscopically, which means it will involve several small incisions rather than one large one.

The surgeon begins by making several small incisions in your abdomen, typically four. She inserts trocars, which are small, tube-like instruments that provide access points for the laparoscopic instruments. A laparoscope, which is a long, thin tube with a camera and light at the end, is inserted through one of the trocars, giving the surgical team a clear view of your internal organs on a video monitor.

The surgeon carefully maneuvers the laparoscope to locate the gallbladder. Using graspers inserted through another trocar, she lifts and holds the gallbladder in place. Scissors are then used to dissect the tissue around the gallbladder, carefully cutting away the connective tissue that holds it in place.

The cystic duct and cystic artery, which supply bile and blood to the gallbladder, are identified and clipped with clip appliers. These clips ensure that there is no bleeding and that no bile leaks into the abdominal cavity. Once the clips are securely in place, the surgeon uses scissors to cut the duct and artery.

With the gallbladder fully detached, it is placed into a small retrieval bag inserted through one of the trocars. The bag is then carefully pulled out through one of the incisions. The surgical team ensures that the bag remains intact during removal to prevent any spillage of bile.

Throughout the procedure, the suction/irrigation device is used to maintain a clear view and clean operative field. This device irrigates the area with

a sterile solution and suctions away blood and fluids. Once the gallbladder is removed, the surgeon performs a final inspection of the abdominal cavity to ensure there is no residual bleeding or bile leakage.

The incisions are then closed with sutures or surgical glue, and sterile dressings are applied to each site. The surgeon removes the drapes, and you are repositioned for the next procedure.

Prostate Removal and Orchiectomy

Repositioned in the stirrups, the prostate removal and orchiectomy are next. Fresh surgical drapes are applied, covering your lower abdomen and genital area.

The surgeon begins by making an incision below your navel with a scalpel. The incision is deepened carefully through layers of skin, fat, and muscle until the surgeon reaches the abdominal cavity. Retractors are used to hold the incision open, providing a clear view of the surgical field. Hemostats are applied to control any bleeding from cut blood vessels.

Using dissecting scissors and a combination of blunt dissection techniques, the surgeon carefully separates the prostate from surrounding tissues. The nerves and blood vessels that run alongside the prostate are meticulously preserved to maintain functionality. Once the prostate is fully isolated, it is removed and set aside.

Next, the surgeon moves to the orchiectomy. Incisions are made in the scrotum, and the testicles are carefully extracted. The spermatic cords are clamped with hemostats, cut, and then ligated to prevent any bleeding. The testicles are removed, and the incisions are sutured closed with absorbable stitches.

A hormone implant is placed in the cavity left behind by the prostate. This implant will provide a controlled release of hormones necessary for your transition. The surgeon then carefully sutures the incision in the lower abdomen, ensuring that each layer of tissue is properly aligned to promote healing. A catheter is inserted into your urethra to ensure that urine can drain freely as you recover.

The surgical mesh may be used to support the pelvic floor if necessary, depending on the extent of the tissue removal and the individual anatomical needs. The mesh is carefully placed and secured, ensuring it provides the necessary support without causing discomfort.

Facial Feminization Surgery

Finally, facial feminization surgery is performed. The surgeon reshapes your facial features, softening your jawline, reducing the size of your Adam's apple, and altering the shape of your nose and cheekbones.

The procedure begins with the surgeon making incisions with a scalpel along predetermined lines marked on your face. These incisions are strategically placed in natural creases and along the hairline to minimize visible scarring.

To reshape the jawline, the surgeon uses an osteotome and mallet. The osteotome, a chisel-like instrument, is carefully positioned along the jawbone, and the mallet is used to gently tap it, shaving down the bone. This process is repeated in small increments, allowing the surgeon to sculpt the jawline gradually and precisely. The burr drill is then used to smooth and contour the bone, ensuring a natural and feminine appearance.

For the reduction of the Adam's apple, the surgeon makes a small incision in the throat area. The tracheal cartilage is carefully exposed, and a portion is shaved down using a scalpel and specialized instruments. The surgeon takes great care to preserve the surrounding structures while achieving a more feminine contour.

Altering the shape of your nose involves careful dissection and reshaping of the nasal bones and cartilage. The surgeon makes incisions inside the nostrils and along the columella (the tissue between the nostrils). Using a combination of osteotomes, chisels, and a burr drill, the surgeon reshapes the nasal bones and cartilage to create a softer, more refined appearance. The skin is then re-draped over the newly sculpted framework, and the incisions are closed with fine sutures.

To enhance the cheekbones, the surgeon may use implants or fat grafting. For implants, small incisions are made inside the mouth, and the implants are carefully positioned over the cheekbones. If fat grafting is used, fat is harvested from another area of your body, purified, and then injected into the cheeks to add volume and contour.

Each step of the procedure is meticulously planned and executed, with the surgeon constantly checking the results to ensure symmetry and balance. The incisions are closed with fine sutures, and a sterile dressing is applied to protect the surgical sites and promote healing.

Vaginoplasty

The final procedure is vaginoplasty. You are positioned and draped carefully to expose the genital area while maintaining a sterile field. This highly complex surgery involves creating a neovagina, clitoris, and labia from the existing penile and scrotal tissue.

The surgeon begins by marking the surgical site. A midline incision is made along the penile shaft, and the skin is carefully separated from the underlying tissue. The penile skin is then inverted to create the vaginal canal. This involves meticulous dissection to preserve as much tissue as possible.

The urethra is shortened and repositioned to a more anatomically correct location. This requires precise cutting and suturing to ensure proper urinary function post-surgery. The erectile tissue is removed to reduce the risk of complications and to shape the new anatomy.

The surgeon then creates the neovagina by forming a cavity between the rectum and the prostate. The inverted penile skin is carefully inserted into this cavity, and the surgeon ensures it is properly positioned and secured. The neovagina is then lined with the penile skin, and any excess skin is trimmed.

The clitoris is formed from the glans of the penis, preserving the nerve supply to maintain sensation. The surgeon carefully shapes the glans into a clitoral structure and secures it at the top of the vaginal opening. The labia minora and majora are created from the scrotal tissue, which is dissected, trimmed, and reshaped to form the outer and inner lips of the new vulva.

Throughout the procedure, the surgeon uses fine sutures to close incisions and to secure the newly formed structures. The area is irrigated frequently to maintain a clear surgical field and to minimize the risk of infection. Surgical sponges are used to absorb any fluids, and hemostats are applied to control bleeding.

Once the neovagina, clitoris, and labia are formed and positioned correctly, the surgeon performs a final inspection to ensure everything is in place and there are no complications. A vaginal stent is inserted to keep the canal open during the healing process, and a sterile dressing is applied to protect the surgical site.

32-Teeth Transplantation

The following procedure is equally intricate and requires precise coordination. Another man, conscious and terrified, is brought into the OR. He is positioned next to you, and surgical drapes are used to maintain sterile fields around both your mouth and his. The man struggles and pleads, but the medical team remains focused on their task.

The team begins by sedating the other man to prevent excessive movement. The sedative is strong enough to keep him still but not enough to fully anesthetize him. He is aware of the procedure, but his body is unable to respond.

The extraction of his 32 teeth begins with the insertion of a mouth prop to keep his mouth open. The surgeon uses a straight elevator to loosen each tooth, feeling for the give that indicates the ligaments have been disrupted. The dental forceps are then used to grip the crowns of the teeth firmly. With a twisting and pulling motion, the teeth are extracted one by one. The suction device is used continuously to remove saliva and blood, ensuring a clear field.

Once all 32 teeth are extracted from the donor, they are immediately placed in a sterile solution to keep them viable. The donor's mouth is inspected for any remaining fragments, and the sockets are cleaned and sutured closed to promote healing.

The next phase involves the implantation of the extracted teeth into your mouth. The surgeon positions you with your mouth open using a mouth prop. Small incisions are made in your gums to create new sockets for the donor teeth. The teeth are carefully inserted, one by one, ensuring they are properly aligned and secured. Each tooth is anchored using fine sutures and a dental bonding agent to stabilize them in place.

Throughout the procedure, both you and the donor remain under close observation. The surgical team works efficiently, ensuring that the teeth are transplanted quickly to minimize the risk of failure. The donor's teeth are now your own, a complex and unsettling addition to your transformation.

Once the teeth are implanted, your gums are sutured to secure the new teeth. The surgical site is cleaned, and a dental guard is placed to protect the fresh implants. The donor is moved out of the OR, his role in the procedure complete, while you remain to undergo further evaluations and treatments.

Final Preparations

After all the surgeries are completed, the surgical team ensures that all incisions are properly closed and dressings are applied to protect the surgical sites. You are transferred to a recovery room where you are closely monitored as you slowly regain consciousness.

As you wake, the reality of what has been done to you begins to sink in. The pain and discomfort are overwhelming, and you struggle to comprehend the extent of the changes to your body. The medical staff remains professional and detached, their focus now on your recovery and stabilization.

Waking Up

Hours later, you begin to regain consciousness. The transition from oblivion to awareness is gradual and disorienting. The first sensation you register is a dull, pervasive ache that seems to emanate from your entire body. The soft beeping of monitors and the hum of medical equipment fade into your awareness, grounding you in the reality of the hospital room.

As your eyelids flutter open, the harsh fluorescent lighting overhead causes you to squint. Your vision slowly comes into focus, revealing the sterile white walls of the recovery room. You feel groggy, your mind foggy from the anesthesia and the cumulative effects of the extensive surgeries.

The first

thing you notice is the oxygen mask covering your nose and mouth, delivering cool, steady breaths. You attempt to move, but your body feels heavy and uncooperative, bound by the lingering effects of the anesthesia and the fresh post-operative pain.

A nurse, noticing your stirring, approaches your bedside. Her face is partially obscured by a surgical mask, but her eyes convey a calm, reassuring presence. She gently checks your vitals, her touch practiced and efficient.

"Welcome back," she says softly, her voice soothing. "You're in the recovery room. The surgeries went well. Just try to relax and let your body rest."

Confusion quickly turns to panic as you realize you have no memory of agreeing to any extensive surgeries. You try to speak, but the words come out as muffled protests through the oxygen mask. Your attempts to move are met with sharp pain and the restrictive feel of the compression garments and bandages.

You start to thrash, pulling at the IV lines and trying to rip off the oxygen mask. The nurse steps back, her eyes widening in concern.

"Please, you need to stay calm," she urges, trying to soothe you. "You've had multiple surgeries. Moving around too much could cause complications."

Her words barely register as you continue to struggle, your panic escalating. Another nurse quickly joins, holding your arms gently but firmly to prevent you from causing harm to yourself.

"I didn't agree to this! What did you do to me?" you manage to shout, your voice hoarse and filled with fear.

The nurses exchange worried glances before one of them speaks. "We need to call the doctor. Hold on."

Moments later, a doctor enters the room. She looks composed and serious, her expression one of professional concern. "Please, try to calm down. You're in a safe place, and we're here to help you."

"Help me? I didn't agree to any of this!" you shout again, your voice shaking. "What did you do to me?"

The doctor steps closer, her tone calm and authoritative. "You've undergone several surgeries. I know this is a shock, but we need you to stay still and let us explain."

"Why? I didn't consent to any of this!"

Dr. Patel takes a deep breath. "We understand that you have no memory of consenting. You were selected for a comprehensive medical trial, and we have documents indicating your agreement."

"No!" you shout, your panic rising again. "I never agreed to this! Let me go!"

The nurse quickly increases the sedative in your IV again, and you feel your resistance weaken as the drowsiness takes over. "We will discuss this further when you're feeling better," Dr. Patel says. "Right now, your body needs to heal."

As the sedative pulls you back into unconsciousness, you feel a deep sense of betrayal and fear. You’re left alone with your thoughts, wondering how you ended up in this situation and what will happen next.

Subsequent Awakenings

The next time you wake, it’s in small increments. You’re more alert each time, but with that alertness comes the realization of the changes to your body. The pain is still there, a constant reminder of what has been done.

A different nurse, this time a man with a kind but professional demeanor, is checking your vitals. "You’re awake," he observes. "How are you feeling? Any pain or discomfort?"

"All of it," you mutter, trying to shift without causing too much pain. "I need to know… why."

"Let’s get you comfortable first," the nurse says, adjusting the bed so you’re in a more upright position. "Dr. Patel will be in shortly to discuss everything with you."

This time, when Dr. Patel enters, she’s accompanied by a psychiatrist. "This is Dr. Williams," she introduces. "We’re here to help you process everything."

"I just want answers," you say, exhaustion in your voice. "I didn’t agree to this."

Dr. Williams steps forward. "We understand how disorienting this must be. Our records show you were a part of a trial, but it’s clear there’s been a severe misunderstanding."

"A misunderstanding?" you echo, incredulous. "You’ve changed everything about me!"

Dr. Patel and Dr. Williams exchange a look before Dr. Williams speaks again. "For now, let’s focus on your recovery. We’ll work on finding out exactly how this happened and ensure it doesn’t happen to anyone else."

Their words offer little comfort as you lay back, feeling a mix of anger, confusion, and helplessness. The road ahead is uncertain, but for now, you focus on the small victories of recovery, each one bringing you closer to understanding the full scope of what has happened and reclaiming some control over your life.

#anesthesia #intubated #surgery #medfet #surgeon #intubatedlover #female surgery #medical equipment #anesthesia mask #intubation

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kasugabee666 · 4 months ago

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🌙 tiredworkerAU (DCA)☀️

come to life comrades

I'm starting to make a base for my fnaf au, because it's time to put everything in order

A mini-project called a tired AU employee or about how I'm not particularly interested in calling something somehow. but the essence is in the title - Bella is tired of the teacher and wants an easy job and money in Monty Golf again. The essence of the story is that we find new friends and mentally want to go back. But this is an ideal world and let's stick it here that the main character is liked by all the animatronics.

Bella's antipode here is Charlie. Charlie is presented as the version of the main character who likes robots and he is such a mechanic and all-knowing and believes that AI is a new stage of development that can be loved. Bella is completely unaware that the local fauna really likes her, since you won't care if you work from morning to night and just want to go home.

Raylee is Bella's best friend, who thought it was a great idea to drag her friend to this position at the daycare, since this place needs to be raised from the ruins. Bella is an artist and a creative person, so you can understand Raylee's intentions to revive the bacteria attraction. Raylee took this position only recently, before that she was doing something else.

Vincent - he was Raylee's first hired employee, but the Teacher immediately disliked him for being useless. And Vincent himself dreams of quitting, but they won't transfer him to another position because of his clumsiness. Lives under the table.

Gigi - the local goddess who will not spare her last gum on you. She tries to help with deeds and is considered the most chill manager.

I like to think that DCA pretends to be so playful only for the kids. Like, you are that adult in the monkey house and you need to keep the rest of your sanity. So I just think he's very responsible when you're surrounded by employees who want to escape. I don't see Moon as an evil goblin, but as a good goblin who loves pranks

Monty tries to be cool, but he just really wants attention like Freddy. Other robots don't really care, but he does.

For now, these are all the main characters in the story, maybe there will be new ones

#kasugabeeart #tiredworkerAU #fnaf dca #dca fandom #fnaf sb #fnaf daycare attendant #moondrop #moon fnaf #sun fnaf #monty fnaf #montgomery gator #sundrop

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frankiensteinsmonster · 1 year ago

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🎀Common Enough Mental Health Tips That Help Me Personally🎀

🍧- Freshening up with baby wipes if you can't bathe or wash over the sink

🍧- if you can't wash up at all, changing into clean clothes. Especially your underclothing.

🍧- Freshening up your clothes with alcohol if you can't wash them to get rid of some of the bacteria. It won't work forever, but it'll help a little.

🍧- Airing out your clothes helps too!

🍧- Keeping snacks and drinks you enjoy near your bed/wherever you spend the most time. "Junk" food is better than no food.

🍧- Prechopped/Frozen foods are a huge help! Don't feel pressured to avoid them for any reason. Social pressure? Is SOCIETY eating your meal?? Environmental concerns? Understandable, but WE Specifically need these things to function. Non-disabled people can pick up the slack for us. We can ask for better packaging options for the future as well! It's not your fault these things come in plastics.

🍧- Keeping your mobility aid and accessories together and near your bed if possible helps with organization, so you aren't as tempted to go without them and potentially hurt yourself. You are worth the effort.

🍧- Reaching out to your friends or otherwise loved ones. :') you can say hi. You can say "I don't have anything specific to say, but I just wanted to say hi" if you would like more of a script. They love you! They should be happy to hear from you! It's good to talk to people you care about and like.

🍧- Asking for help. Chores? 'Self' care? Eating? Accountability? Even if you are currently or ever unable to help them help you, loved ones are generally understanding and like helping! They should get that you are unable to do these things yourself, and they should set boundaries with you if they ever need to! Don't be afraid, we're all in this together. (Plus! That's extra hang out time :) socialization is good.)

🍧- Literally ANY form of dental hygiene is better than nothing. Gargle mouthwash, salt water, or even plain water. Brush without toothpaste. Chew sugar free gum. (Keep sugar free gum and any wrappers or containers away from pets!!! It is deadly and Will kill them!!) Anything. Please please please.

🍧- Make a point/an active effort to feel Good and Comfy! Layer up, make a blanket nest, watch comfort shows and eat yummy foods! Dress up or wear something comfy or comforting! Do something fun or new! Anything that makes you enjoy life just a little more!! You deserve to feel good, and sometimes that requires a conscious effort!

🍧- Accepting that as a person who experiences mental and/or physical unwellness, we will exhibit Symptoms and that's okay. Rest is good even if we need a lot of it in all forms and our less than desirable symptoms are morally neutral. We deserve love and support from everyone, including ourselves.

🩶- feel free to add on!

#cpunk #cripple punk #neuropunk #mad punk #menhera

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deceptive-daydreams · 1 year ago

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Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 |

Smoke Signals

Chapter Two - Dainty

W/C: 4.6K

Eddie x Fem reader - Grumpy!Bartender!Eddie x Shy!Reader

You need a job, The Bourbon needs a server. The math is there but the owner won't acknowledge it. How will you win over such a crabby man that only sees you as a gnat forcing its way into his space?

A/N: The response I received on the first part fic was so unexpected but I'm so glad everyone liked it!! I can't wait to get deeper into this story

Masterlist

Prev | Next

I’m sorry for running out so fast yesterday.

No. Too forward.

I think we got off on the wrong foot, by we I mean me.

No, not sincere enough.

I just wanted to apologize for leaving so abruptly—

“Excuse me, dear?”

Your train of thought was dissolved within seconds as you turned your focus to the older gentleman that had called for your attention. A hum in place of an answer as your brows raised expectantly but ever so friendly awaited his follow up question.

“Can I just squeeze past you to grab that jar of peaches?” He asks, wrinkles around his eyes upturned in perfect harmony with his smile.

“Of course. Yes!” Panicked, you rush to the other side of the aisle, the older man waving you off, insisting that it was ‘quite alright’ while he reached for his beloved peaches.

You’d been bouncing back and forth, up and down between several opening statements to provide Donnie, a sour taste left in your own mouth at the way you left her hanging the day before when she was merely being kind to you. It was something you couldn’t stop, the anxiety eating away at your flesh like bacteria from the fact that you could’ve caused someone to be less than satisfied with their interaction with you, as if you were some kind of service. People pleasing was a disease.

Sometimes the affected party was blind to its symptoms, oblivious to the way their illness consumed them. And that’s why you found yourself purchasing a single pack of gum, eyes large and sorrowful before you were even next in line. Various ways to get the point across were mentally rehearsed and the closer you got to the register, the more you focused on one singular sentence, clinging onto the desire to not stutter or mess it up.

“Hey you’re back!” Donnie greets. “Thought for sure we’d scare you off by now.”

With a wince, you hand her your pathetic excuse of a conversation starter, a pack of spearmint gum with your trembling hand. If she notices she doesn’t bring attention to it, instead she gracefully takes the pack and rings you up.

“N-no, no. I don’t scare that easily.” You try to convince yourself more than her.

You note that the shop is nearly empty once again just after a handful of customers had done their shopping and went on with their day. A few patrons still linger, carefully picking out each item from their weekly grocery list; however, you wouldn’t know they were there if not for the squeak of their carts every few feet as they inched forward.

“Could’ve fooled me.” Donnie respectfully hands back the gum in exchange for your cash. A crinkled five that had seen better days.

For a moment you debate fleeing once again, nerves tingling and breathing becoming shallow before internally reprimanding yourself. You can cry all you damn well please in private but right now you need to stand up to the little voice in your head. “Yeah. Um, I just–I wanted to say I’m sorry for running out so suddenly like that.” It didn’t come out as smooth as you’d planned but you’re hoping it came across as sincere enough. If you could at least look forward to a friendly face at the supermarket every week, well it would be a win.

“Honey, I don’t get offended easily and it seemed like you had places to be.” She waves a dismissive hand in the air at your apology, not unkindly, more so letting you know you didn’t need to be so formal with her. And yet you couldn’t help yourself, an unwanted backstory spilling from your lips almost like second nature. Excuses plucked from the top of your brain.

“I didn’t–I didn’t mean to leave and just not introduce myself. I just got caught up, with moving and all–”

“You don’t owe me an explanation. Just your name and we’ll call it good.” A genuine smile stretches across her face, contagious enough that your lips tug upward as well as you offer your name, a proper introduction this time.

Your shoulders relax ever so slightly, not fully letting your guard down but no longer feeling the need to tense every muscle in your body. It’s then that you realize that this is the only grocery store that you ever found visually appealing, with its darker toned walls and red checkered floors, the lighting not being so fluorescent and in your face, a bit dim even. Which for some may be a flaw but for you it was perfect. You don’t feel so exposed and couldn't be perceived so clearly, the ideal cocktail of a situation for someone so socially anxious.

“I, um, I saw your sign.” You gesture to the letters reading ‘help wanted’ posted against the window. If you could land a decent job then maybe living wouldn’t feel so terrifying. Then again, several things would come into factor other than just your means of income.

Donnie’s expression turns empathetic and you can feel your breath hitch in anticipation for a brutal rejection. To be told that you had it all wrong, that you were too unprofessional and too meek and that your help was most definitely not wanted here, that you shouldn’t have even stepped foot in this town to begin with. The five stages of grief practically take over in mourning over the loss of a potential job.

“I’m real sorry but we already filled the position. Tom was supposed to take that down around two weeks ago.” She sounds irritated at the mention of what you assumed to be her coworker. “Can’t rely on anyone.” She sighs, striding over to the window and pulling the sign from its temporary home only to abandon it behind the shelf that displayed several boxes of cigarettes.

“Oh I’m–”

Before you can even begin to apologize for something completely out of your control, Donnie’s eyes light up at something, or rather, someone behind you.

“Hey, Ed! Isn’t The Bourbon hiring?”

All she receives in return is silence and when you dare to peek over your shoulder behind you, you briefly meet the eyes of the neighbor you had the displeasure of running into twice the day before. Today he fronts with a black leather jacket and the same black jeans with rips in the knees. The only thing noticeably different is the chain now dangling at his side and the band shirt you’re unable to read, the letters obscured from your view. Oh, and a few chunky rings decorating his hand that should make him look tacky as hell but somehow they pull the look together.

“I dunno, who’s asking?” He counters, brow raised as he glances at you once more. You’d barely even spoken a few words to the guy and he was acting as if you committed the most heinous act against him.

“Ed.” Donnie warns.

“Don, she wouldn’t last a day.”

You were beginning to think that this so-called ‘Ed’ was going to turn into an issue…fast. Who was he to judge a stranger who he knew absolutely nothing about. His audacity startled you and while you should step in and defend yourself, you can’t bring yourself to do it, tongue tied in every literal sense, words caught in the back of your throat like they were physical refrigerator magnets lodged in place.

“You don’t know that!” She grins at him, a grin that silently says ‘watch it’. “Honey, you got any work experience?” Attention shifting to you, you felt as if you were burdening two people who had everything figured out in their quaint little lives, guilt plaguing your mind at the fact that you’d shaken things up between what seemed to be good friends or maybe even just well acquainted individuals.

“I–uh–yes. Yes, I’ve worked at the–at the library and-and–”

“The library?” Ed questions. You didn’t dare answer, knowing very well he wasn’t seeking a response. “What good would that do me in a bar?”

“Well I–”

“Think The Bourbon’s too rowdy for someone like you.” He continues, only fueling your inner rage as well as pricking the embarrassment that held a permanent home within you, your cheeks flushing hot and palms becoming clammy.

“I’ve also worked at a diner. Back home.” Somehow you find a voice, one that isn’t shaky and timid but rather more calm and collected regardless of the absolute fear that pounded in your heart.

Both Donnie and Ed stare, seconds passing that only feel like lightyears. Ed still seems bored beyond comprehension, opening and shutting his wallet as he narrows his big brown eyes. You aren’t sure what to do next, if you should make a dramatic exit once again or continue proving yourself to some stranger who had no business even making you do such a thing in the first place.

“A diner.”

He says it like a statement rather than a question, as if to mock and discredit you.

Tears are not an option, tears are not an option.

“See she’s got experience!” Donnie attempts to mend the situation, acting as an unofficial moderator.

“Don, no offense but I came here to buy the usual, not recruit.” Some cash is slapped onto the counter, his patience clearly wearing thin by the way he begs with his eyes. Donnie’s tolerance appears to be at a dangerously low level based on the glare she forces upon him. You were beyond unprepared to witness a standoff in the middle of the supermarket at 5:00 PM on a Wednesday.

“Thought you were desperate for a server.”

There’s some bite behind her words, focus never wavering, the two seeming to have a telepathic conversation right before your eyes until Ed breaks the stillness in the air.

“Not in the slightest. Can I have my shit now?”

Donnie’s sigh lets you know Ed has won and in the process, drained her energy. Reluctantly, she snatches the cash from the counter and opens the register before grabbing a pack of cigarettes from the shelf behind her and handing them to him along with his change, an unfriendly exchange. It doesn’t seem to bother him as he clutches the cash and the pack in his hand, not even sparing you another glance on his way out.

Clearing your throat, you pull Donnie’s attention away from the insufferable man now making his way down the cobblestone sidewalk outside. “It’s okay. I’m sure other places are hiring.”

She rolls her eyes and you know it’s not meant for you but you can’t shake the paranoia that screams that she might be fed up with you as well. “Don’t mind Eddie. He acts like a hardass but he’ll come around.”

So his name is Eddie. You only nod in response, unsure of where to steer the conversation from here.

“He’s like a scary dog. He’ll roll over for the right people. So if he doesn’t take to you, don’t take it personally.” She advises.

“Yeah.” You whisper.

You were so going to take it personally.

–

As it turns out, no one in Knife’s Edge was hiring, not a single soul seeking a random girl from out of town who urgently needed a job. Not that you could blame them, they had it all figured out. Many of the shops were owned by families thus being run by said families and not requiring the additional expense that would come with hiring another person. And those that did seem to hire outside of their family had already filled in every necessary position.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. This is what you get for uprooting your life and sticking it somewhere it probably didn’t belong.

And now you were moping along the cobblestone, trying to figure out how to pay the bills, working out how much of your savings you could survive off of until you’d run out. Then The Bourbon came into view. Almost like it wanted you to see it, the beaming red lights spelling out its name specifically for you to see. Mainly because it was the only place you knew to be hiring despite what Ed–or–Eddie–whatever his name was, had said in his unpleasant remarks from earlier. It seemed to be your only shot at employment.

The bar had a few neon signs flashing in the window, one being the very obvious ‘open’ sign and then of course one that read ‘happy hour’ with a margarita. The rest appeared to be different beers they might have on tap. It didn’t look like anything fancy but didn’t seem like a hole in the wall either. The exterior was paneled in wood just like almost every other building in the area, giving it a cabin feel without actually being a cabin.

Dread settled in the pit of your stomach from just staring at the place so if you were going to act, it needed to be now, before said dread morphed into pure panic. This was going to determine your foreseeable future, if you couldn’t land this job then you might as well toss yourself right back down that mountain with no money and no plan, right back to square one.

The door was heavy, built out of metal and a bell ringing just above, notifying any staff and patrons of your presence which you could do without but you had to push yourself. If they were staring, your gaze was glued to the ground and you didn’t notice, too occupied in rehearsing an improvised script in your head. Some kind of rock or metal song blasted through the bar and you weren’t sure if it was overstimulating or comforting. Your initial thought was that for being in a small town, they would be inclined to play country music so it only relieved you that your possible future workplace wouldn’t be subjecting you to the unbearable twang you just couldn’t seem to stand. You’d endure it when all was said and done but it was appreciated that it was one less nuisance in your life.

It was a standard bar, the atmosphere mellow with dull lighting and a haziness smelling of tobacco swirling throughout the room. What immediately drew you in was the obvious game of bingo, suddenly shifting what was a designated spot for happy hour and a cheap therapy session with the bartender into a retirement home full of seniors. A man that looked to be in his fifties sat on a stool on the tiny stage in the corner, calling out numbers, which elicited a few victory yells from those who had obviously been having better luck.

However odd the scene may be, several senior citizens occupying the tables of a bar at happy hour, business still seemed to be booming considering that it was a weekday. Aside from the group of elderly yet energetic individuals, there were also what looked to be the regulars perched on their assigned stools at the actual bar. They paid no mind to the intense game happening behind them, sipping away at their beers and mixed drinks leisurely.

A vacant seat called to you, two more on each side guaranteeing that you could sit comfortably without awkwardly scooting in next to someone and disturbing their possible winding down time, no doubt trying to blow off some steam after work. That’s why people came to bars, right? It was lost on you, this wasn’t your scene and if you’re truthful, you’re not even sure you should be here begging for a job in the first place. That Ed guy clearly didn’t take a liking to you and though you didn’t exactly have any knowledge on his role within The Bourbon, he seemed like he had a say in the day to day operations just based on the tiny snippets of information you picked up on. Hopefully someone with the same level of authority would be working now and actually respect you as a person enough to at least give you a chance.

Playing it cool—as cool as one could be with constant nagging thoughts and shot nerves, you decide to plant yourself down on the stool, the worn leather material partially squeaking in protest as you wiggle into a comfortable enough position, setting your bag in your lap and clutching it in paranoia. A glance from the left to the right and back to the left lets you know that no one seems to mind your presence though you still close in on yourself regardless, taking up the least amount of space possible.

The bartender, a man maybe in his early twenties who had short dark hair seems preoccupied as he shakes a drink while balancing a conversation with another man at the end of the bar, the two laughing every other sentence like old friends. And so you wait. Never intentionally draw attention to yourself and never disturb anyone else’s night until you find it polite to chime in when the bartender doesn’t seem as busy. Even then, he doesn’t hear your small ‘excuse me’ every time he rushes by onto his next task.

A sad little ghost settled among lively customers, you don’t seek pity, only a glance your way so that you could get this over with and either face rejection or anxiously resume the job search. Though no one seems to bother looking your way, you can’t help the heat traveling to your cheeks in pure humiliation, the fact that you’re the only thing out of place weighing heavily on your mind. More celebratory howls and yells sound from behind you, the room erupting into laughter shortly after from a joke you didn’t care to understand. Even a few select chuckles are heard from the men scattered along the bar.

“Do you just not listen?”

A familiar voice breaks through your thoughts, forcing you to peek up from where your focus remained on the bartop, where moments before you’d seemed entranced by the surface. In reality you were running in circles in your head, hoping to make sense of your current situation. Through your lashes you saw him. Ed. Or Eddie. You didn’t put much effort into feeling too bad for not remembering his actual name, especially when he’d never even had the decency to ask for yours. His leather jacket was absent from his torso, now only showing off a plain black t-shirt that also allowed you a view of various tattoos scattered along his arms. You were first drawn to the faded bats on his forearm before becoming puzzled by what seemed to be some kind of a doodle on his inner bicep, not a very good one at that. And then you remembered he’d asked you a question.

“I’m not allowed to have a drink?” You ask innocently. Genuine innocence. No sarcasm. You weren’t brave enough for that.

“Only if you’re not here to also beg for a job.” He grumbles. A man a few stools over gestures down for another round and in response, Eddie nods coolly. With a certain kind of smoothness, he pulls a new glass out before slamming it down on the counter. “If you are, the answer is still no.” The way he quickly pours liquor into the shaker seems so effortless, measurements probably burned into his brain that allow for more efficiency on busy nights.

“Can I at least speak to someone in charge?” You do your best to keep your voice steady and unwavering in the presence of someone with infinitely more confidence than you, his eye contact never breaking.

“You’re lookin’ at him, doll.”

His voice drips with his signature condescending tone, the corner of his mouth pulled up slightly in a smirk. One that tells you that you’ve hit a dead end.

“You—oh.” Like an idiot, you swallowed any words that bubbled in your throat, unable to find it within yourself to at least come up with a snarky comeback.

“We’re not hiring.”

“That-that’s not what Donnie said.” Lousy. The argument just seemed to fall from your tongue involuntarily, not much thought put behind it before coming to fruition. It would only give him more ammo.

His eyes further surveyed you, meticulously analyzing your every move, every twitch of every muscle in your face. An unwanted spotlight shining on you, revealing every flaw in your approach to the current conversation. You wanted a job and he wanted nothing to do with you, your last statement only sealing your fate, only giving him more reason to deny your advances.

“Donnie doesn’t work here does she?” Without expression, he begins expertly shaking his concoction, forearms flexing with the movement. He was a character, some kind of figment of your imagination. He had to be. You’d never encountered someone so standoffish, so ill-tempered, especially toward someone he’d never even met before, already passing judgment on you based on seconds of interaction.

Ignoring his rhetorical question, which came off as more of a deterrent than anything, you pursue a fair conversation, a deserving interview at the very least. “Listen, I’m a really hard worker and—“

“And a fast learner right?”

The interruption was unwelcomed though you gave no indication that it was, face set in a straight expression as you processed his uncivil personality. You couldn’t even find it in you to convey shock, your brain malfunctioning upon his words, outdoing himself with every sentence he uttered.

“Well, yes.”

“Of course. And you can multitask too I bet?”

This wasn’t the interview you were hoping for, this was downright degrading.

“If you would just let me talk.” You plead, fingers digging into the wood of the bartop.

“Listen, kid.” The liquid he had been shaking for quite some time is poured into the glass, an amber colored liquor filled to the brim.

Kid?

If you had the guts you would degrade him right back. But you were you and you could only sit and take each hit to your fragile mental state with as much grace as possible. And soon after the tears would come. Not yet, though. Not just yet.

“You look like you’re about to cry and you haven’t even been hired. What makes you think you can handle a full house on a Friday night?” The drink is topped off with an orange twist and a black cherry before he slides it to its awaiting consumer, not a drop spilling over the edge of the glass, clearly a perfected craft that he was proud of.

When he’s met with silence you gather that he thinks he’s won just by the smug look on his face, barely there but still evident nonetheless. That little voice inside your head screams at you to keep pushing, keep bugging him until he has to give in. Even if by pure annoyance. And although you can feel yourself trembling in terror, something urges you to just gulp down the fear and prod at the arrogant man just beyond the bar.

“I work well under pressure, I’m very organized, I’ll clean on my down time…” You begin to list off your abilities and if he wanted to stop listening, the way he glared at you wasn’t convincing you that he was going to.

This time his response is delayed rather than the other way around, suddenly at a loss for words as his large eyes take in your sudden change in demeanor. Your slight assertiveness takes him by surprise, you can tell from his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. It’s all a front for you to at least get one foot in the door but as they say, ‘fake it ‘til you make it’.

“No.” He answers suddenly, sternly. His disinterest is obvious when he pulls out a rag and starts wiping down the counter, no longer letting his gaze fall on you but instead, the droplets he works vigorously to clean up.

If he wants a fight, then a fight he shall receive.

“I’m a team player, I’m super reliable, my time is flexible, if you need me in a pinch consider it done–”

“Do you understand social cues?”

Ouch. If you had an inflated ego it would’ve surely been destroyed by now but you were already working with close to nothing.

“Yes.” You reply, not a trace of sarcasm, only an honest answer.

“So I think by now you’d understand. We. Are. Not. Hiring.” Each word is enunciated and slathered thickly with bitterness, topped with the intention to send you running like a dog with its tail tucked in between its legs.

What he doesn’t know is that your soft spoken voice and bashful exterior isn’t all there is to you and that deep down, if you wanted something, you were stubborn and able to manipulate the situation should it be required in the most dire of situations. Whether it would work on him seeing as he was also just as stubborn, if not more, you weren’t sure yet.

“Are you turning me away because I’m a woman?”

The pure horror in his eyes almost makes you chuckle because now you know you have the upper hand and had anyone overheard, they would probably question their beloved local bartender’s work ethic.

“I mean–not that I’m accusing you…” You were definitely accusing. “I just don’t see any other women working and–”

It doesn’t have the effect you’re hoping for as he leans toward you, forearms resting on the bar, his eyes returning back to their spiteful nature while he taps his clunky rings against the surface in thought.

“I’m turning you away because you don’t belong in a place like this. Things can get rough and you’re…too dainty.” His voice is much more hushed than before but his expression remains serious, without a trace of that stupid smirk.

Dainty? Dainty. Noted.

“What–you don’t think a woman can handle–”

“It’s not about you being a woman.” He seethes. “It’s about the fact that you are dainty. Polite. Shy. I can’t have that when I’ve got a few drunks refusing to leave at 2:00 AM.”

“I know when to hold my own. Especially if it's for a job.” You attempt to convince him.

“What, so you’re just gonna respectfully tell them to leave, then what? These guys get out of hand, I can’t be babysitting you, I’ve got a business to run.” He reasons, straightening his posture, conversation already forgotten as he starts to turn away before you speak up again.

“At least let me prove you wrong before you dismiss me.” You quietly demand, hands clasped in front of you. “Think I can handle a group of senior citizens.” You motion to the intense bingo game still going strong behind you.

With a roll of his eyes, he seems to ponder his thoughts, bouncing them around in his head. An exasperated sigh escapes his parted lips while a hand drags down his tired face.

“One night. A trial. If you can handle it, fine. You’ve got a job.” He finally declares. “But if I have to stop what I’m doing to babysit you or you so much as–”

“I’ll find another job. Promise.” You nod persuasively, a glimmer in your eyes that he doesn’t miss but quickly ignores.

“Good. Tomorrow night. Eight. And just this one time you can park in the back lot.”

He tries to dismiss himself again but your next question forces him to linger a little bit longer. He was patient, you’d give him that.

“Wait–what, what’s the dress code?” You ask sheepishly, a contrast to the business woman you’d molded into just seconds before.

He does a once over, as if to judge your fashion choices but what he ends the conversation with only leads you to think that he favors one word way too much.

“Casual. Nothing too dainty.”

~end~

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