#avoidant subtypes

[avpdpossum]

i might try to do a deep dive into the conflicted avoidant subtype at some point, and maybe the self-deserting subtype after that. every time i read the descriptions of them, i’m struck by how accurately they describe me, and i wish there was more info about the subtypes out there

[60inchyugiohheadcanons]

On Jōnouchi's ADHD (1.39k words)

This headcanon is probably the longest on this blog; it's some compiled thoughts on how growing up with (undiagnosed) ADHD has affected Jōnouchi. It's halfway between headcanon and fanfiction piece, and was requested by @bloodyscott, whom I kept waiting for too long for a response. I apologise sincerely for the delay.

This headcanon begins below the cut, as it's obscenely long. You may find it more comfortable to read this from the blog page, or on Archive of Our Own (NOTE: tumblr is acting strange. To access the page, copy the link and manually remove the href.li portion and the second https), rather than on your dashboard/search, in terms of formatting and such.

From infancy, Jōnouchi wailed his way out of his crib, out of his room, out of his house—as a baby, he thrashed towards whatever freedom he could find. He loathed the four walls of the crib; he'd scarce room to move. A skin infection brought him, aged 4, to hospital, and the very sight of overrun grey plastic seats and skinny cubicles exhausted him more than his illness had ever threatened to.

In primary school, others’ desks would blend together in a whir. Here he was, stuck, dizzyingly sedentary—the longer he sat, the foggier the world seemed to grow. When he kicked and whined at other children throughout electric lunch breaks, and they shrank from his vitality, he learned to eat alone. As his peers trudged from class in packs, watching the pavement, he sat, sullen, as his father drove him home. Somehow, Katsuhiro had never trusted him not to lose himself in chasing his surrounds. The fabric of the car seat would bite into his shorts, and he’d squirm for the window, squealing towards the noise outside: Birds that cawed; scraps of paper that fluttered and choked on smog. That was a fragile era, when his mother still waited, with dry hands and chipped nails, at home. When his father already stank of beer, but still spoke loudly, deeply, boisterously. Again and again, Jōnouchi’s mother would sit her son down, and write his name, stroke by agonising stroke. She’d recite each mora in time with each character. Yet sound would cluster through his head, and his own name would dissolve amid his mother’s instructions, amid the blaze of sunlight trapped on the windowsill behind her. He would write, and the strokes would come out rushed, mis-ordered, lopsided. 

Iro wa nioedo 

chirinuru wo.

At 10, his father grew quiet, and his mother yet quieter. Silence took up like a plague in Jōnouchi’s head, and swarmed in shapeless formation throughout parched mathematics lessons. Times tables hurled themselves headlong into a skull full of fog, and burst on contact. Are you listening? a teacher asked. How could he listen with a head full of noise, of unspoken words billowing back and forth? He gripped his seat, and glared back. Why should I care, anyway?

When his mother left, his father stopped caring to chaperone him. It had taken Jōnouchi a decade to earn the right to shed his infancy. He resented that it had been this long, so tried to join the huddle of middle schoolers. He told odd stories, and took off, queasy, in front of them. They withdrew their smiles when he approached on the second day. He growled his plaint, and resentment drove him to take the opposite route. He explored back alleys, wallflower convenience stores and dilapidated cinemas; the faster he walked, the more clearly he could see each brick, and the brighter each fleck in the pavement glinted. At speed, he delayed the journey home, and set his eyes on a gorgeous early winter sunset. The colours bellowed, too bold for winter, ungainly and vain. They were glorious.

Jōnouchi came home late. His father glared; fog crashed back down on his shoulders. 

Wa ga yo tare zo 

tsune naran?

A week before she cleared out too few of Katsuhiro’s belongings and packed too few suitcases, Jōnouchi’s mother drove both children two miles to the optometrist. My son, she explained, reads slowly, yet resents reading; it seems he can’t see very well. My daughter’s sight seems clearer, yet she complains of pain. The optometrist forced Jōnouchi to read down a chart of letters; he fidgeted, and, consumed in memories of a lonely lunch break the day prior, passed with flying colours. When the optometrist flashed a light to photograph his eyes, whatever hideous miracle that was, Jōnouchi screamed.

Katsuya Jōnouchi, the optometrist surmised, had perfect acuity of sight. He sought attention, stimulation. Meanwhile, Shizuka Jōnouchi, who had sat entirely still throughout her examination, had more ragged, derelict peripheral vision than her family had anticipated. Untreated, both your children will get much worse.

And in the months after Shizuka Jōnouchi became Shizuka Kawai and Mrs. Jōnouchi became That Bitch Who Never Cared, Katsuya Jōnouchi became horribly aware of how little time he had to be lethargic. He had to survive this schism; yet as he was, he barely felt capable of thinking. He walked, fidgeted, paced to prove to himself that he was a moving, breathing organism. Yet his father’s frustration would brook no exuberance. Long before Katsuhiro fully committed to flinging glass and spurning his son’s misery, Jōnouchi began learning to move silently, slowly, around his father. He memorised which mats snapped and snagged, which bits of fabric hissed when stepped on. He noted which windows opened most quietly. And yet he never managed a perfect, quiet exit. He couldn’t help but be conspicuous; he could only hope to get out too quickly for his father to react. And, to lift the torpor that followed escape, he would run to school, and, after, run back. Never did the sun shine brighter than when he was moving.

Uwi no okuyama

kyou koete.

When he met Hirutani, did he become more violent? No; every punch he threw during his delinquency had waited, kinetic and desperate, for days, months, years. In classrooms, his sole responses to being ordered around had been sullen deference, with sullenness being his sole demonstration of rebellion. Now, threatened with the obsolescence of his ego, of his perceived freedom, he chained himself to violence, over and over. The first time he punched a man in the gut, he found himself shaking. And rather than sink into sallow, domestic remorse, he slathered himself in white rage. And he went back and he went back and he went back, helpless to his own instincts, trying to dredge the noise in his skull out through his fists. No matter how many punches he threw, and no matter how many he received, he could not stop his head from blazing anew the moment he walked away.

Did Duel Monsters afford him any peace? He would be no man’s losing dog; nor would he be confined to dull celebrity. To play as a strategist consigned him to sitting still, committing himself to gambits he could never entirely trust, to moves that demanded a clear head. To play too whimsically would doom him to inferiority. Thus, he gave half his heart to diligence, and half to sheer fortune. Nobody could idolise his kind of folly, nor devalue his kind of skill. This was Jōnouchi’s will—to eschew having to wait in the mire of expectation; to escape the fog of obligation to anyone’s morals but his own. Honour suited him, so long as it was on his meticulous terms. In games of Duel Monsters, he became a knight-errant of sorts: predictably unpredictable, unexpectedly canny, blindly faithful. With this relationship to his own fate laid out so, he could finally draw cards without fearing those next to come. And thus, hyperkinetic, he found a peace in the game. So he played and played until he forgot how long he’d been playing, and Duel Monsters became as second nature.

Asaki yume miji

ei mo suzu.

Two weeks before Jōnouchi’s graduation, Shizuka invited him to her place to dine. Their father was not to join them. Jōnouchi protested, and his desperation died in a pinprick throat. Wisteria spilled itself over the footpath. Each step threatened to plunge, vertiginous, to the ground. 

When Jōnouchi saw his mother, his throat turned to sandpaper. She looked so old.

You cried so much as a baby, she told him. Kicked and screamed to see the world. You weren’t comfortable waiting in your crib—I’d end up coming to you at 4AM, walking you around the perimeter of the house till my heels burned. And you seemed so afraid of all the noises of the night—groaning engines, singing birds. Now, look at you—you’ve grown up so terribly fast.

Could he afford to tell her how even now, he bit down the urge to kick and scream, to launch himself, all fists and sparks, onto his tormentors? No; so, all night, he gripped his glass as tight as he could. The cold lingered and itched on his palms for days. Holding onto things, it seemed, was not so difficult as he’d once believed.

[prettyboychik]

PDA is such a bitch bc “this person cares about you and just wants to make sure you’re not making a choice you’ll regret” is indistinguishable to me from “this person is treating you like a child and is babying you and is being overly controlling/invested and needs to Step The Fuck Back”

which means that i either go with the PDA Instinct and push away people who are genuinely trying to help, or I overcorrect and live in Agony while people (who do genuinely care!) involve themselves in ways that are genuinely unreasonable.

. . . which is Extra fun bc I’m multiply disabled and do actually need help with things that most people do not, so I can’t even use “would this be a reasonable thing for most people to tolerate” bc most people! do not need the assistance that I need!

[sunderwight]

Thinking about SV demon culture as one struggling under the weight of imperialism, a violent ruling class with a might-makes-right mindset, and a lot of warfare.

I really don't like fics that imply that Luo Binghe's conquest of the demon realms just automatically improved living conditions there. I think both versions believed that they could conquer things, establish a new regime, and fix a lot of political issues in the process, I just don't think that would actually be the result of a violent takeover on the part of a cultural outsider with a patchy understanding of the actual multitude of demon cultures involved, whose only asset was an extreme capacity for physical violence and resilience against death.

Like, no wonder Bingge was always putting down uprisings and "rivals" for power -- a lot of his empire was probably actually being run by the demon wives or families of the demon wives he favored most, like Sha Hualing, or by preferred subordinates like Mobei Jun, who very probably pursued their own interests just as doggedly as they had prior to his rule. Only, this time they'd have been doing so with the added leverage of Luo Binghe's violence answering anyone who "rebelled" against "his" authority.

Demons in SV have myriad subtypes and subcultures. It seems really likely that a lot of them have been persecuted by others, that there are demon communities who have been subjugated, muscled out of ancestral homes, enslaved, wiped out, etc. This would probably even explain some "invasions" by demons into the human realm -- I'd imagine numerous cases across history of refugees being taken for (or described as) marauders by cultivation sects, or human communities unprepared or unwilling to deal fairly with visibly inhuman "monsters" and answering their approach with violence, or even displaced demons who did in fact become bandits and such in the fallout of various conflicts causing problems.

But there also would probably have been demons that succeeded in making their way in the human realm, and disguising what they were well enough that the sects never even knew. After all, most of the methods for alerting the sects to the presence of demons involve demons doing something violent (like the Skinner demon) or people seeing demons and going "ahhh!" about it. A demon or a family of demons uninterested in serial killing and only looking to get by and avoid the violence would likely not attract that kind of attention, just so long as they could pass as human too.

I do wonder if the reverse has ever happened as well. Human wars driving humans to seek refuge in the demon realms. It would conversely seem a lot more dangerous (demons are physically tougher than humans, and the demon realms are notoriously harsh), but in some cases it was probably like, well, life is hell already, at least the things trying to kill us in the demon realm are straightforward about it?

There are probably way more half-demons out there than just Luo Binghe, and even more demons with human ancestry or humans with demon ancestry. I wouldn't be surprised if demon ancestry actually played a roll in some humans being cultivation prodigies compared to others -- demons seem to have a natural physical power that most humans don't, and while their cultivation uses different energy, it would make sense of some aspects of things like a physical inclination to store, accrue, or manipulate energy in general could benefit even predominately human descendants of mixed blood.

But anyway, back to politics.

Tianlang Jun didn't seem to be a terribly proactive ruler either. Which on the one hand can be a good thing (he wasn't a tyrant, wasn't interested in waging wars or conquering others, didn't much care to throw his weight around), but someone was actually ruling in his absence. Conflicts were still happening, and being resolved. Tributes or taxes were still being paid to him, for him to live any kind of lavish lifestyle, which means they were being collected, rates were being determined, enforced, etc, which does beg the question of who was doing it. Not Zhuzhi Lang, certainly.

In Bingmei's time, the person actually running things is Shang Qinghua, which means also Mobei Jun is actually running things to some extent too. Shen Qingqiu loves demonic beasts but doesn't seem like he could care less about politics, and Luo Binghe only got this job in the first place because he was trying to impress him, and the post-canon extras would seem to indicate that they check out of the process as often as possible.

Mobei Jun and Shang Qinghua's rule probably makes things pretty hard for the southern demons who are traditionally loyal to the Heavenly Demons. I mean, apart from not being able to beat Luo Binghe in a fight, self-serving ambition would definitely be a motive for Mobei Jun to throw his lot in with him as soon as possible, right? "Give" the emperor your palace, your service, your resources, etc, and the emperor basically becomes Mobei's own tool to reinforce his sovereignty. In PIDW he even uses him to do that in a more immediate sense by bringing him to the fight with his uncle. In SV he decides Shang Qinghua is more suitable, which, symbolically, is even true. The cost of wielding Luo Binghe's authority is having to submit to it, but Shang Qinghua has elevated Mobei Jun even without that.

No wonder the southern demons couldn't get on Tianlang Jun's side fast enough when he reappeared. Given both Mobei Jun and Shang Qinghua's bias, the North has probably been running rampant with their own interests while the South gets hamstrung and dealt crumbs by comparison. Sha Hualing's clearly been trying to get on Luo Binghe's good side with minimal success ever since he got out of the Abyss. Unlike in PIDW, where she's a major player, here she's just an underling desperately playing catch-up and accidentally offending him all the time.

I wonder how that's impacting the complex arrangement of political alliances, cultures, and conflicts among the various factions in the demon realm. It'd probably be like if the remote and somewhat isolated North and Winterfell in ASOIAF/Game of Thrones suddenly became the new capital of the empire, and White Harbor became the main trade hub, while all the southern lords struggled to even get a foot in the door with the new king and kept pissing him off all the time. And every time they try to break free or rebel or kill him, it doesn't work and they get personally murdered by him. Meanwhile the northern lords are making off like bandits, with the current Lord Stark gay married to some inhuman warlock who does all his paperwork and somehow knows all your embarrassing secrets.

...That comparison got away from me. But I mean, it's kind of fascinating? A huge mess and likely miserable for a lot of demons, but still. The implications...

[aventurineswife]

I would like to ask which of the HSR characters would be their favorite type of Goth Girl and how they interact with the goth girl reader.

HSR characters and their favourite type of Goth Girl

Hmm, that's a good question! I'm not very familiar with fashion, so I had to look up the different subtypes(?) and styles of Gothic fashion. Here’s what I came up with, but keep in mind—this is just my opinion on these specific characters!

Blade – Traditional or Occult Goth

Blade would gravitate towards a goth style that embodies the Traditional or Occult Goth aesthetic—dark, intense, and reminiscent of ancient mysteries. This style complements his own fractured soul and aligns with his sense of danger and fatalism.

Blade would admire her goth style in a quiet, intense way. He’d likely avoid compliments, but his lingering gaze would speak volumes. Occasionally, he’d make cryptic remarks about her choice of symbols or accessories, intrigued by the darker meaning behind her look.

He’d invite her on nighttime walks, where they could talk about life, pain, and purpose. Blade would share his own views on suffering and self-destruction, finding solace in knowing that someone understands the allure of darkness without flinching.

When she shares her own struggles, Blade would respond with empathy, quietly urging her to embrace her scars. He’d consider her as a kindred spirit, united by a mutual understanding of darkness, perhaps even guiding her towards finding strength in their pain.

Kafka – Elegant or Victorian Goth

Kafka would be enchanted by an Elegant or Victorian Goth style, one that exudes mystery, timeless beauty, and a touch of refined danger. A style that combines old-world charm with darker, alluring elements would captivate her attention.

Kafka would treat her as her accomplice, matching her elegance with her own polished look. She’d appreciate her ability to blend dark, regal sophistication with subtle danger and would often compliment her in her composed, low-key way.

She would revel in their shared love for all things dark and alluring, occasionally teasing her with whispered secrets and mysterious invitations, making her feel like part of an exclusive, hidden world.

Whenever the reader/she reveals a darker or emotional side, Kafka would listen intently, then offer her hypnotic words of wisdom, nudging her towards a balanced yet sophisticated approach to their emotions. She’d subtly manipulate her into embracing her elegance as armor.

Sunday – Dreamy or Romantic Goth

Sunday would be drawn to a goth style that embodies a sense of ethereal beauty and dreamy mystique, like a Romantic or Dreamy Goth. This aesthetic, filled with delicate lace, ethereal black layers, celestial accessories.

Sunday would admire her goth look as if she's an angel of the night, often complimenting the dark beauty she bring to his Sweetdream Paradise. With poetic and enigmatic language, he'd express how she reminds him of a serene vision, free from the pain of the waking world.

Behind closed doors, he’d reveal a gentler, protective side, seeing her as someone worth preserving in his dream-like world. He’d subtly ask her about her philosophy on life and pain, curious if she'd share his perspective on a reality without suffering.

Whenever she displays a darker or more melancholic side, Sunday would be there to “soothe” her spirit, gently guiding her towards his paradise—although this “soothing” might actually involve urging her to escape painful thoughts.

Robin – Ethereal or Pastel Goth

Robin would admire an Ethereal or Pastel Goth style, with softer tones like lavender and violet combined with traditional goth elements. This blend of gentleness and depth aligns with her own music and tragic past, which holds an undercurrent of beauty amidst sorrow.

Robin would feel a comforting connection with the reader’s look, as it aligns with her own aesthetic of blending light and dark. She’d often give small, heartfelt compliments, noting how her style reminds her of a bittersweet melody.

She’d enjoy quiet moments with the reader, perhaps inviting her to her studio, where they’d share their thoughts on beauty, darkness, and the ways they each express their emotions. Robin might even dedicate a song to her, inspired by her unique blend of innocence and mystery.

When the reader is feeling down, Robin would offer soft-spoken support, listening patiently and reminding her of the beauty in every emotion, treating her struggles like notes in a beautiful song that deserve to be heard.

Aventurine – Cyber or Industrial Goth

Aventurine would appreciate a goth style that leans into cyber or industrial aesthetics—think metal accessories, bold colors, and futuristic touches. This type of goth aligns with his strategic mind and love for taking calculated risks, mixing sophistication with an edge.

Aventurine would be fascinated by her bold look, often pulling her aside to compliment her style in a playful, flirtatious way. He’d likely buy her accessories, such as metallic chokers or bracelets, to enhance her look and treat her style as another high-stakes investment, always encouraging her to be bold.

With his knack for creating excitement, Aventurine would take her to the casinos or exclusive places where they could revel in the aesthetic together. He’d suggest that every encounter and style choice is part of a larger game, creating an atmosphere of thrill and risk, which he finds irresistible.

When the reader shares her darker feelings or thoughts, he’d humorously encourage her to “double down” on it, teaching her to gamble with her emotions, to transform them into something powerful and alluring.

I hope you like it! I tried my best, and it was challenging to decide styles (and writing for a female reader as I'm used to writing for gender neutral) and all, so I really hope you enjoy it 🫶❤️‍🩹

[rabbitindisguise]

migraine cheat sheet for folks not sure if they have migraines

A couple cardinal signs for migraines:

pulsating/throbbing

nerve pain-like (tingly, electric, shooting)

aching, especially radiating into the jaw

can be on one side or both sides, in one area or more than one area, or even at the base of the skull, front of forehead, etc

at least one of sound sensitivity, light sensitivity, nausea +/ vomiting, and veritgo (typically- there are subtypes and other headache disorders)

and of course migraine aura (flashing lights, dark spots in vision, etc)

can come in short bursts of 1-30 seconds repeatedly, can last for hours or even weeks, and have different phases with different associated symptoms

Headaches:

don't interfere with work, school, or socializing

mildly annoying

take a lot of effort (weeks of staying up too late, being hungover, etc)

happen infrequently (closer to 1-2 a year)

are not "bad ones" (if you had "regular headaches" and "bad headaches" then it's very likely you have migraines - though personally both headache types turned out to be migraines for me)

happen when you have the flu or another illness as a result and it's clears up by the time you recover from it

do not last 30 min - 72 hours with a clear start, middle, and end phase

don't make you feel wrung out dry afterwards

don't affect you neurologically (fuzzy feeling, slow movements, slurring, feeling exhausted/sleep deprived, feel like you can't rest properly even after taking ibuprofen)

don't respond to sumatriptan or another migraine reliver

you don't dread having a headache

you don't avoid chemicals/harsh scents, chocolate, concerts, or any other migraine triggers

[honey-dont]

types of freight cars

made a whole post to help ppl design stex ocs as the resident freight enthusiast :) while this isn't every freight car in existence, it's definitely a good chunk of them!

FLATCARS

The most basic type of freight car. They’re…well…flat! Designed for carrying bulky loads.

Autorack: Transport automobiles. Can have single, double, or triple levels.

Boom/Idler: Placed in front of a breakdown crane to protect the boom or in front of/behind oversized loads to protect the overhang.

Bulkhead: Have walls (bulkheads) on the end. Used to transport pipe, poles, slabs, and lumber. Prone to derailing when traveling empty and put speed restrictions on the freight train.

Centerbeam: Carry lumber. Another type is the opera (round) window style. Have to be loaded/unloaded evenly to avoid the car tipping over.

Depressed Center: Used to carry extremely heavy loads such as generators. Have a lowered (depressed) middle section.

Intermodal/Well: Carry semi-truck trailers and containers. Have a lowered bottom (well).

Skeleton/Spine: Very narrow car used to transport lumber. Has stakes on the sides. Spine cars do not have stakes and are often used for intermodal transport.

GONDOLAS

Open-topped cars that generally transport loose goods. Can also be covered. Differ from hoppers in that they have flat bottoms and have to be manually unloaded or put through a rotary dumper.

Bathtub: Transport coal. Have rounded bottoms for extra space.

Coil: Carry coils of metal. Can be open or have specialized covers to protect the cargo. Typically considered a subtype of gondola, but can also be a subtype of flatcar as well.

Side-dump: Cars tip sideways to dump loads. Often carry ballast or rocks for railbeds.

HOPPERS

Evolved from gondolas but differ in that they have sloped bottoms and discharge doors. Can be covered or uncovered, and have between two to five chutes. Open cars transport bulk goods such as coal, while covered ones carry food items.

Ore Jenny: A small, specialized hopper designed to carry large loads of iron ore from mines.

BOXCAR

Enclosed cars with side or end doors. Used for bulk commodities and for goods that need to be protected from the weather.

Stock: Used to transport livestock such as cattle, horses, sheep, and poultry. Have ventilated sides for airflow. A variant used to carry fish was attached to passenger trains and was more luxurious.

Refrigerator: Insulated and cooled cars used to transport frozen goods.

TANKERS

Used to transport liquids or gases. Can be specialized to carry hazardous materials.

Milk: Specialized tank car variant (as opposed to the boxcar variant) that carries milk. Attached to passenger trains to prevent spoilage.

Pickle: There's pickles in there! The vats were filled with vinegar.

Torpedo: Carry molten iron. Designed to withstand very high temperatures.

Whale Belly: Large tank car with a lowered midsection for additional carrying capacity.

SCHNABEL

These cars are a type all of their own. Used to transport extremely large loads by pinching it between the arms of the car.

[mistype360]

How can you tell the differences of a social 4, self preservation 4, and sexual 4?

so4: cares more about others emotions. romanticizes his pain the most. expressive, often through their style or appearance. has trust issues. more outgoing. has a low self-esteem, often with a victim complex. like an e9, tries to avoid conflict. acts kind and caring as a result. still very empathetic. but when in conflict, will act passive-aggressive. also lazy like an sp9. may complain a lot. seeks sympathy from others. feels shameful. can be mistyped as an e6.

sp4: least envious. more tolerant of emotions. "hoards" objects and experiences. strong sense of justice. often loving, and cares for others. very "masochistic." feels like they have to be "tough," and wants to be loved as a result. never feels like they are enough. keeps struggles and emotions to self. may often appear as a 1. wishes they were more like others. prone to self isolation.

sx4: feels "misunderstood." the most humorous, extravagant, and histrionic of the subtypes. most focused on uniqueness of the subtypes. has emotional swings between feeling "depressed" and feeling "euphoric." affected by hardship/failure quickly. can resemble an sx2 or 8. most commonly mistaken as a 3 or 7. struggles with shame, and acts "shameless" as a result. treats feelings as if they are more important than others. competitive mindset (towards resources, relationships, and love), says what's on their mind, blunt. wants to be respected and admired, but often struggles to achieve it.

[childrensward]

Making Accessible Interaction Banners - a Guide by Binoo "ChildrensWard"

Interaction or "DNI" (do not interact) banners are a staple of the age regression community, but too often are they made without taking accessibility in mind, whether it's because they're unreadable, have excessive eye strain, or aren't marked with alt text.

Therefore, in the hopes that I can help people out with this, I decided to write a mini guide on how to make your banners accessible for as many people as possible!

Under the "read more" cut, this guide will cover the following:

Fonts, and how to choose the best ones

Text, and what your interaction banners should say

Colour contrast, and why it's important in making your graphics accessible

Eye strain, and why it generally should be avoided

Alt text and image descriptions, and how to write them

And an example of an interaction banner I made using the criteria I've written in this guide!

So, without further adieu, let's get into the real meat of this guide!

Fonts

Fonts are easily the most important thing about an interaction banner! It's how you're going to best convey the contents of your banner in a way that's readable to the viewer. Here's a quick and firty rundown of the different kinds of fonts, as well as which ones you should (and shouldn't!) use for your banner:

Body Copy fonts are your basic Sans and Sans Serif style fonts that you'll most often find on books and websites, because they're some of the easiest fonts to read in smaller text (10-14pt) due to their lack of details. Examples of Body Copy fonts include PT Serif, Arial, Comic Sans, Roboto, and Helvetica Now.

Display fonts are often used for headers and subheaders and include features such as being thick, having unconventional letters, and, on occasion, being in all caps. However, these fonts should not be used for body or small text, as they will be very hard to read. Examples of Display fonts include Futura PT, Elephant, Noto Serif Display, and Shoreditch.

Script and decorative fonts are subtypes of display fonts, with the former having a handwritten quality to them, while the latter are considered to be the fun display fonts. However, you should be very careful with using either of these fonts- not only can they be hard to read on their own, but neither should be used specifically for body or small text in any circumstance. For the sake of readability and accessibility, however, I'd be more inclined to avoid using these fonts.

Text

Aside from the fonts that your text will be written in, the text itself is also a mandatory aspect of your banners. After all, it's what banners are entirely based on, and it's the very thing that tells you who can and can't interact with your posts.

However, there's something important to keep in mind, and that is how much text you're trying to cram into your banner because you're trying so desperately to fit your entire DNI criteria onto it.

What I think is important when it comes to making your banners is to keep any text you have on there as short as possible. If you bombard your banner with all this specific criteria, then you're more likely to make your readers confused, whether or not they happen to be a screen reader user.

When making your banners, ask yourself the following questions when deciding on your criteria:

How likely is it for someone interacting with the age regression or similar communities to fit this criteria? Have I come across a good number of people who fit this criteria that makes it worth mentioning?

Is this criteria at all relevant to the content I'm presenting? Do I need things like inter-community discourse terms from other communities on my banner if I'm making content specifically for age regression?

Is there any "unspoken" criteria that everyone agrees upon that doesn't need to be included? These might include nazis, racists and white supremacists, homophobes and transphobes, ableists and eugenicists, misogynists, anti-choice, etc.

If your answers show that the specific criteria is not relevant, then it's best to leave it out to keep the information on your banner more clear and concise.

Colour Contrast

While colour contrast is something often talked about in web development circles, it's also an important skill to learn when making any sort of graphic design- which is what interaction banners essentially are. Without taking colour contrast into mind, you're left with a banner that may not be easy for most people to read; let alone those with low vision or blindness. We also need to think about things like people who may be using old or outdated monitors, people reading on smaller screens (like a smart phone), and bad lighting and glare. As Contrast Rebellion puts it: aesthetics are important, but aren't the ultimate goal of design.

Okay, so you've understood the reason why colour contrast is important, but how do you put it into action? How do you know your colours of choice are readable?

Well lucky for us, there's many resources out there that help us in choosing the right colours! Here are a few of my favourites:

CSUN: Color Contrast - An introduction article on colour contrast, why it's important, and some examples of good and bad colour contrast choices.

Random A11y - If you don't have any colour combinations in mind, Random A11y is here to help! With it's vast amount of randomly generated colour contrast combinations, you'll have plenty of options to work with. Don't like the combination you're given? Just click on the "new colours" tab to generate a new palette!

Colour Contrast Analyzer - This is a free program for Windows and Mac that helps you with colour checking with a variety of different features; including multiple ways to select colours (CSS color formats, RGB slider, colour picker tool), and a colour blindness simulator.

Accessible Colors - If you don't want to or can't download the program above, then this website works just as fine with checking colours, too! Just enter in the hex codes of your colours, the font size and weight, and which level of conformance you'd like your colours to pass.

Eye strain

A bit of a sore topic for some, but I feel I must put it bluntly for people to understand: making your colours easy on the eyes of the viewer should be your top priority over your aesthetic. Some people, like myself, have certain health conditions that are triggered by eye strain, and by continuing to slap extremely contrasted rainbows on your banners, you're continuing to put disabled people through worsening symptoms, all because you feel the need to retain your aesthetic.

Many of the same resources shared in the Colour Contrast section can also help you to rule out any eye-straining palettes. Also, a general rule of thumb to keep in mind is: if a colour palette is eye straining enough to cause you some mild problems, then it's enough to cause someone with a disability more severe symptoms.

Alt text and image descriptions

I think a lot of us find writing alt text to be daunting- I know I did for a long while, which is why I never wrote any for my posts until recently. But really, once you get the hang of it, it can be very simple and easy to write! Even so, people who don't know how exactly to write alt text often fumble with this- either writing too much or too little, not being clear enough, or just copying the image caption and calling it a day.

Here's some tips and tricks on writing better alt text:

Alt text generally follows the Object-action-context rule. In the words of Alex Chen at Medium: The object is the main focus. The action describes what's happening, usually what the object is doing. The context describes the surrounding environment.

Be specific and concise, and even consider the content of the post or webpage it's on as well. You'll also want to consider the function or purpose of the image, and what you want your viewers to gain from it.

Keep your alt text short, as long descriptions with too much flowery language and filler words can be distracting when using a screen-reader. Generally, most screen-readers will cut off alt text at around 125 characters.

Avoid using "image of..." or "picture of...," as HTML codes will already identify your images as such. However, in this case, mentioning what type of image it is can add context.

Always check for spelling mistakes, as this can affect the user experience, causing interruptions and confusion.

Not related to interaction banners specifically, but avoid including alt text for decorative images that are used to make your post prettier. In this case, insert the word "null" in your alt text fields.

Image descriptions are a little different in the fact that they're allowed to be more descriptive than alt text, considering screen readers won't be able to cut off any alt text at 125 characters. Even so, it's still best to keep your image descriptions as short as possible to save from redundancy and confusion.

Please remember that writing alt text and image descriptions can take a lot of practice and trial-and-error, so don't give up if you can't get it right the first time! Write and rewrite it as much as you need to, or even consider changing your interaction banner altogether if you think it can't be described in words concisely.

An example

Taking what we've learned above, let's take this banner I made just for this post as an example of these characteristics put into action.

In this example, I have chosen the hex colour #4D0000 for my text colour, and the colours #B5F3DC and #E3B158 for my background. According to CCA, the contrast ratios for my colours of choice are 12.8:1 and 7.9:1 respectfully, which both meet the minimum contrasts of 1.4.3 for AA and 1.4.6 for AAA.

I have chosen the font FS Lola Bold, which is a type of display font that's best for headers and subheaders, but not so much any body or small text. I don't have to worry about this though, because I don't have any small text in my banner.

I've also kept my criteria to a simple "No DDLG/CGL interaction," because I feel that this is the most relevant information regarding the content of my blog and the posts I make. Short and simple, yet specific to who I don't want interacting with me. I also like the idea of my favourite fictional characters protecting my blog, which is why I've included another short sentence for it!

Here's an example of what the image description or alt text for this banner could look like:

[Image description: Banner that reads "Toopy and Binoo protect this blog, no DDLG/CGL interaction!" On it are the titular characters from the show. /End ID]

And if I were to have both alt text alongside an image description, then the alt text could be as simple as what the banner reads, which would be:

"Toopy and Binoo protect this blog, no DDLG/CGL interaction!"

Remember, you don't have to go into every little detail with your image descriptions or alt text, because then it can become very confusing for certain people to decipher! Keep it simple and state the minimum.

Closing words

I think that's everything that I wanted to cover in this post. Of course, there's more to accessible design than just text and fonts alone, but when it comes to interaction banners, it's usually the focal point of the images, which is why it's so vital that people with disabilities can also read your banner- especially when they contain important information about your personal boundaries.

Age regressors often pride themselves for the image we've set up for our community, that it's safe for everyone to join and no one will be judged or excluded for who their are. But the reality is, we still have lots of work to do before we're ever at that place, and making our community more accessible is just one of these steps that we should all be encouraged to take. Besides, what kind of message are we sending if we don't take the steps to make our space as accessible as possible? How do you think it'd feel to realize that a community you wanted to join is actively hostile towards you because of the refusal to learn how to accommodate for them? Especially when we have such a huge demographic of disabled people in the community, we can and should be doing better to accommodate for everyone as much as we possibly can.

Learning accessibility is a skill that requires time and practice, and I don't expect anyone to be perfect at it the first time around. The aim of doing these things isn't to make sure that every single thing is 100% accessible in every single way imaginable and with no mistakes whatsoever; but to instead encourage, develop, and incorporate good accessibility practices into our every day lives.

Thank you for reading,

- Binoo

[nostalgiclittlespace]

Hi, I like your blog! I was wondering what the term "impure age regression" means, because I've seen it mentioned in one of your posts as well as others in the community. Does it just mean NSFW regression?

(TW: mentions of NSFW, kink, and ageplay)

Hey! and thanks! I’d be happy to explain the term :)

So in the SFW age regression community, we frequently use the terms ‘pure’ and ‘impure’ to describe our regression. I think it would be easiest to explain both terms, as they are cooperative.

Pure regression is what you’ll see mostly on this site. It’s the stuffed animals, play time, kid’s shows, snacks, moodboards, and general joy. This is what people usually think of when they hear the term ‘Little Space.’ All together, this is the happy stuff.

Impure regression still refers to entering a younger headspace, but not because you are happy, nor is it going to make you feel happy. Impure deals with the darker side of regressing. It often includes tantrums, crying, feeling overwhelmed, depression, flashbacks, and other negative feelings. That joy and happiness isn’t there. Usually, this is where we are processing our trauma.

Both pure and impure regression are very important in their own ways. While it might seem best to avoid the stress and negativity as much as possible, working through trauma is how we are able to move on and overcome it. And, the balance of pure VS impure headspace depends on the person. The way they experience and cope with it will vary as well.

While I can understand why someone might assume ‘impure regression’ to refer to NSFW due to its title, it is in no way sexual. Quite frankly, it’s the opposite, as this is when a regressor is at their most vulnerable—literally being in the headspace of a traumatized child and absolutely cannot consent while in that mindset.

The SFW age regression community is in no way affiliated with any ageplay, kink, etc. Unfortunately, the internet loves to prey on the agere community, which has made it harder to distinguish terms.

Age regression (SFW) and ageplay (NSFW) are completely separate groups and mean very different things. The first being a trauma healing community, and the latter being a BDSM subtype. It is a common misconception, but there is no such thing as NSFW age regression. It is either age regression, which is inherently not sexual; or it is ageplay, which is sexual. I hope none of this is coming across too hard, btw; I don’t want it to seem like an attack or anything. I absolutely understand how the terminology can be confused, I just want to make sure to draw clear lines between the SFW and NSFW in order to keep the community safe.

Thank you for your question and I hope this helps! If something doesn’t make sense, then feel free to shoot me another ask and I’ll elaborate. Lots of love to you, anon, and I hope your day is going well :)

-Marty 👻

[feralcoffeebug]

i saw in the tags of ur new fic that hua cheng has BPD in ur hcs…. if ur willing to talk abt it id love to hear abt it 🙏

Hi!!! Ofc I’d love to talk about it.

So Hua Cheng is one of the characters that I hold super dear to my heart, in that fic he wasn’t quite old enough for the actual symptoms to start showing in ways that would be super obvious hence the whole “it’s not really shown/explored here” that I mentioned. But! Let’s get into it!

There are 3 suspected subtypes for BPD, not really “officially” used in the dsm5 but! Hua Cheng fits Really Well for quiet BPD, which is often where the symptoms are more internalized rather than outward. As a child and teen when he was the little boy and little soldier the BPD symptoms are more outward, as is extremely common for people with quiet BPD that they do not start with this presentation of symptoms.

Since I love researching especially for my headcannons this will have me pulling from the DSM and using that lol. Sorry if this isn’t quite what you wanted! Feel free to send another ask in that case! I love answering questions haha.

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE NOVELS

The diagnostic criteria means you need 5 of the main 9 symptoms of BPD to be diagnosed with it. A lot of these behaviors start around 13, HOWEVER it is very difficult to diagnose in children and teens due to regular hormonal changes and a developing mind can often mimic the same instability that comes along with BPD. Please do not use this as something to diagnose yourself.

Hua Cheng, as he is, meets a few of the symptoms. I’ll go symptom by symptom to explain them a bit more

1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment (not including sh or sui behaviors as it is covered in a different criteria).

Throughout TGCF Hua Cheng often spends a lot of him time attempting to be useful or good enough for Xie Lian, He gets very anxious and fearful around areas that might make Xie Lian leave him or be disgusted by him.

As Hong’er, he often changes entire things about himself with just a small off-hand comment from Xie Lian. He picked up the saber and focused on it because Xie Lian told him that he would suit it well. He panicked every single time someone tried to remove the bandages covering his red eye because he knew that it was something a lot of people hated or treated him badly for and was disgusted by, and he didn’t want Xie Lian to see it. When Xie Lian found out about the fact that he was born under the star of solitude and that meant he was cursed he had a breakdown about it, only calming down when Xie Lian assured him that he was believed that he wasn’t cursed. He showed anger at anyone else where for Xie Lian he would do anything (except talk haha)

I can’t say much about Wu Ming or him as a ghost fire; mostly due to not having gotten to his chapters yet. But my brain wants to use the part with the 33 heavenly officials and his anger at Feng Xin and Mu Qing as proof as well. Along with his devotion to Xie Lian.

As Hua Cheng, he often looks to Xie Lian when he’s not sure what he will think of things, often changing his likes and dislikes when it comes to him. He changed his form to be one that Xie Lian might have liked more, being extremely insecure about his true form while trying to play it off that he was ugly, which obviously Xie Lian didn’t agree with. And once he saw that Xie Lian wasn’t as disgusted by his actual form he uses it more often along with (At least in the manghua) he incorporates some parts of it in his San Lang form.

All in all, usually he sees things that could displease Xie Lian as being bad, and I believe this comes from a place of fearing abandonment by Xie Lian.

2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation

This symptom is a hallmark of the disorder, and most of the other symptoms are what leads to this symptom to showing up. For Hua Cheng, his relationship with Xie Lian is pretty constant and in this context he would be his Favorite Person (FP) (will be discussed later) but his relationship with others are far more unstable. He goes between not caring for those he barely knows to being extremely angry and vindictive if they even so much seem as if they are insulting or disrespecting XL. He also seems to not have very steady relations with those he is simi closer to than strangers (such as yin yu and black water, the only two that, outside of XL, he has around him decently often enough, which honestly probably shows more so that he is attached to Xie Lian like a person with Bpd is to their FP). His opinion of those people seems to be very dependent on how they’re effecting his current situations as they happen, at least from what I’ve seen myself. He also holds very little regard for people outside of Xie Lian, which honestly might point to something like ASPD or something but in my opinion HC fits BPD more so than the other one but I could see the argument for it.

His unstable relationship mostly goes in relation of himself and his self image, which are very dependent on Xie Lian.

3. Identity disturbance: marked and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

For this criteria, this mostly means changes in personality, likes, dislikes, goals, and role. Often the only sense of self people with BPD have is that they are bad or evil, which we see a lot in Hua Cheng, his view of himself is very negative. He often does not feel as if he deserves to be treated nicely by Xie Lian.

4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentionally self-damaging (e.g. spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating. Not including sh or sui behaviors.

Idk why for this one specifically but in my heart I feel like he is very impulsive even outside life or death situations. I cannot for the life of me recall why right now

One of them is him betting his ashes in the fight with the 33 gods, while that could be seen as him being confident in his ability to win it is still very dangerous. I’m unsure if this would count as impulsive or just sui behavior lmao.

5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.

As Hong’er, He was going up the wall to die. Not only that but when he was in the army he often put his life on the line specifically trying to protect Xie Lian, to the point that Feng Xin mentioned offhand that it seemed like he had a death wish and that he had no concern for his own life. All of Hua Cheng’s deaths actively involve dying for Xie Lian, as he decided to live for the man as well.

6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g. intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

Hua Cheng’s mood often shifts very quickly from extremes, there seems to be very little grey area for his moods. Often times, he is happy and content only for a small thing to bring his ire and anger, especially when it comes to his time with Xie Lian. This is often set inwards, anger at himself for not being able to protect him. But this also is directed at others as well as seen by his reactions when Feng Xin and Mu Qing show up.

7.Chronic feelings of emptiness.

In my headcannons this is very true. He is often bored, he often acts very bored in the donghua when something doesn’t have to do with Xie Lian.

8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger.

I don’t know about you, but I think a lot of Hua Cheng’s emotions include anger. He hits He Xuan because of a situation that endangers Xie Lian. He is known for getting into fights over small things. He killed 33 gods for simply disrespecting Xie Lian. He often has outbursts in anger at Mu Qing and Feng Xin, using a lot of sarcasm. These outbursts often happen when Xie Lian isn’t giving him attention or when they are disrespecting/looking down at Xie Lian in some way, shape, or form.

9. Transient, stress-related paranoid idealtion or severe dissociative symptoms

This symptoms often comes up when in response to something that may be relating to possible abandonment. Hua Cheng tends to get more quiet and withdrawn when situations have to do with himself or when something comes up that Xie Lian might hate him over. The topic of E’Ming makes him start to try and move the topic off of it’s emotional responses, when he hurt Xie Lian he gets quiet and stares where Xie Lian left for a long while, getting quiet when Xie Lian apologizes for the situation before nearly crying over it and apologizing over it.

Now, a lot of the reasons behind why I say a character has a mental illness usually does not come from what criteria they meet, but I felt that explaining what could possibly meet what criteria is a fun way to get the conversation started. A lot of BPD is the mental process that gets the reactions, or what causes the reactions. I’m going to get into the like, less official practical and professional view of BPD and go more into it as someone who shows a lot of BPD esc symptoms and the research I’ve done from other people with the disorder.

In BPD, there is a thing called a Favorite Person, also shorthanded to FP. I mentioned earlier that Xie Lian would be his FP, and I stand by this. Often to a person with BPD their FP is everything to them. Their emotional wellbeing and sense of self is often based on the person. It is often very intense and their FP is often what is the root cause of their symptoms showing up. Often FPs are caregivers, friends, crushes, and other things. It can be a very unhealthy relationship for both parties due to the fact that a person with BPD rely heavily on their FP for regulation.

This is something we often see with Hua Cheng and Xie Lian. Hua Cheng relies on Xie Lian for reassurance, taking every grain of it. He does everything in his power to appeal to Xie Lian but also doesn’t mind if Xie Lian doesn’t know about him or hates him as long as he can be useful to him. He also does all he can to get Xie Lian’s attention and praise. He bases a lot of himself and his environment around Xie Lian. I think that the opinion that some of the fandom has of him that “everything revolves around Xie Lian for his character” is a very good example of this. I do not agree with this sentiment, obviously, but it is very common for people with BPD to base almost everything around this FP.

Hua Cheng also wants to spend all of his time around Xie Lian, which is often seen with people with Bpd and their fps.

A lot of this headcannon also has a lot to do with seeing myself in Hua Cheng, seeing behaviors I’ve done for past FPs and even my current FP. I see my relationship with my current FP (which is my boyfriend before anyone asks) in Xie Lian and Hua Cheng. I am a lot more unstable in my relationship with my FP than Hua Cheng is to Xie Lian, but I also feel like Hua Cheng often would turn his anger inward a lot more than I do and fall heavily into self blame for any issues. Along with that, I feel as if Hua Cheng is also pretty inclined to feel as if he overstepped and to internally berate himself for thinking he could have or do or feel whatever unstable emotions and feelings and devaluation towards Xie Lian.

Anyways here’s a small, very tired and sleepy explanation. I’m sorry if none of this makes sense. I just woke up to write this and I’m probably heading to bed.

[sp6ghetti]

Enneatype 5 summarised!!

Core type-  Passion: avarice. E5s are cautious and value anonymity with what they share in order to maintain the peace and calmness they worked hard to achieve. They need this space to consume information about the world without having to participate in it. Fixation: stinginess. They have a huge thirst for knowledge, usually this will accompany knowledge on how to strategically control their environment. Trap: observer. The e5s fascination with the world comes from a place of anxiety. They want to know everything about life while refusing to really live it. Defence mechanism: isolation. To avoid emptiness and keep their self image of being knowledgeable, they isolate themselves from any painful or intense emotions. Instead they want to focus on their knowledge in hope to completely remove these thoughts. Virtue: detachment. To relieve themselves from their isolation, they will need to detach from their hiding place, experience the world and let go of the anonymity they so crave.  Key traits: The centrality of thinking, emotional detachment and feelinglessness, fear of engulfment, autonomy and self-sufficiency, hypersensitivity.

Subtypes-  Self preservation [sp]: Sp5s build clear walls around themselves to protect their safe space. They have a strong need for things like boundaries and dislike surprises and intrusions. Once they feel as though these boundaries are crossed, they rely on their safe space to retreat to. They generally strongly value control. Sexual [sx]: Sx5s are often more artistic than the other subtypes. They want to find the perfect partner they can share every part of themselves with. Even the parts they’ve suppressed for a long time. Because of this, they are often disappointed in the people they trusted in to be like this perfect person for them. Social [so]: So5s have this same desire to be able to share their ideas and thoughts with others, but this is much more group focused for them. They want to find people who they share interests with and bring them together. They are more obvious in their search for knowledge, but focus less on truly shutting themselves off.

Contradictions-  ESFJ, ENFJ, ESFP, ENFP, ENTP, ESTP, ESTJ, ENTJ, ISFP, INFP, ISFJ The main contradiction in e5 is extroversion. E5 is a very reclusive type, they tend to observe instead of participate and try. This contradicts with the inherent external involvement of any cognitively extroverted type. The second is partially the feeling dichotomy, this is due to their emotional isolation. The sensation dichotomy is also considered to be debatable due to e5s abstract thought process.  Types you might want to look into if you are on this list are e3, e4, e6, e7 and e9.

Compatible types- Self preservation: ISTP, INTP, ISTJ, INTJ Sexual: INFJ, INTP, INTJ Social: INTP, INTJ

[wilted-astraea]

Happy OCD Awareness Week!!

Second Week of October ( October 13th-20th, 2024 )

I don't see enough posts on this website about this awareness week, so I just wanted to come on here and talk a bit about the condition, the reality of having OCD, debunking myths, explaining how OCD functions in the brain, etc..

Firstly, let's get through the basics!

What is OCD?

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is a chronic, long-lasting mental health disorder that is primarily made up of two major components — obsessions and compulsions. People with this condition experience repetitive, unwanted, and often horrifying intrusive thoughts (obsessions) that lead to repetitive or ritualistic behaviors known as compulsions. Compulsions are performed in order to alleviate the anxiety and distress that are brought up by obsessions and serve as a way to neutralize or get rid of them.

Intrusive thoughts (obsessions) don't always come in the form of a random 'what if' thought. They can show up as urges, mental images, commands, ideas, and even physical sensations.

Compulsions are typically depicted as physical acts such as hand washing and cleaning or organizing. Did you know OCD compulsions can also be mental? Some people with OCD, such as myself, experience what is known as Pure-O. This is a subtype where the person has mental compulsions that are invisible and can't be observed by others. Examples of mental compulsions are counting, mental reviewing, compulsive praying, and more!

Understanding OCD starts with understanding the cycle!

What are Intrusive Thoughts, and Where Do They Come From?

If you've been on the internet a lot, you may have come across the term "intrusive thoughts." Unfortunately, like many other mental health terms, it has been widely misused on platforms such as Tiktok and revised to mean something that it does not — often getting confused for impulsive thoughts.

Intrusive thoughts are defined as unwanted, involuntary thoughts, images, or ideas that pop up in the mind and are often taboo and/or terrifying. One important thing to note is that they are "ego-dystonic," meaning that they are opposite to a person's true character, beliefs, and desires. This is what makes them so distressing and confusing for folks with OCD and other disorders.

But where do they come from exactly? Some researchers believe that intrusive thoughts are misinterpreted warning signals from the brain. Our brain projects these thoughts and images to warn us about potential dangers so that we can avoid these hypothetical situations and be prepared. (ex: standing on the side of a tall bridge and getting a random thought of jumping off) Similarly to why we experience feelings of anxiety. However, if you live with OCD or other conditions such as PTSD, this system is in overdrive and no longer functions properly.

The Reality of OCD

OCD is one of the most misunderstood and trivialized mental health conditions in the world. Many cultures have a very idealistic view of the disorder, often reducing it down to a personality quirk and has even been seen as a "beneficial" disorder to have. This could not be further from the truth and the reality of living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is much more grim and scary. Living with this condition looks like so many things for so many people, so lets play a game!

(DISCLAIMER: If this is triggering for you, don't participate!!!) Imagine your worst fears. Think about how horrified you would be if those fears came true. If they have come true, remember how you felt in that moment.

Now imagine living with a brain that involuntarily forces you to think about those fears and gives you the false signal that they might come true if you don't do something to prevent it. Imagine doing something to prevent that fear from happening, but all it did is reinforce those fears even stronger, and now you're trapped thinking about them for what feels like an eternity.

THIS IS OCD!

A person living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder will spend at least an hour or more performing compulsions in response to these obsessions. Onlookers might see us performing a compulsion and not understand why we're doing them. What you see on the outside is VERY different from what's going on in the inside. WE DO NOT ENJOY OUR COMPULSIONS, OR OUR OBSESSIONS!!!

Although obsessions don't always have to be centered around fear. Obsessions present in an infinite number of ways and look very different for each individual.

Common OCD Subtypes:

Contamination OCD, Harm OCD, Pedophilia OCD, Relationship OCD, Sexual Orientation OCD, Religious (Scrupulosity) OCD, Magical Thinking OCD, Suicidal OCD, and much more!

These obsessions can latch onto any part of you or your life. They can attack your fears, values, morals, identity/self-concept, relationships, and even trauma.

The Role of DOUBT

Did you know OCD has a nickname? It's known as the "doubting disorder." This is because doubt is a hallmark symptom of OCD and plays a huge role in the way OCD presents. When you have this disorder, you're unable to trust your own reality and you lack confidence in your attention, memory and perceptions. While most people can have an intrusive thought and brush it off, a person with OCD will experience a cognitive distortion where we apply meaning to these thoughts. "What does this thought mean?" "What does it say about me?" "What does it say about the future?" which forms an obsession and causes intense feelings of anxiety, distress and dread. We are unable to handle the uncertainty of these thoughts and what it says about reality. Therefore, we perform compulsions.

If you ask a person with OCD what it's like. You'll often hear it depicted as an evil entity hijacking our brains, having two brains, or being in an abusive relationship with your own brain.

In my experience, it really is similar to being in an abusive relationship with your brain. OCD comes into your life and gives you a false sense of security. It wants you to believe that it's there to keep you safe. But OCD is like a leech. It gets fuel off of your compulsions and uses that fuel to strike you with more obsessions while simultaneously gaslighting you and making you believe that you're crazy for having these thoughts. It convinces you that you need to keep performing compulsions because "it keeps you safe" when, in reality, compulsions reinforce our cycle. Compulsions may help you temporarily. But, what actually happens is that you're teaching your brain that the obsession was, in fact, a real threat and performing that compulsion actually protected you. This makes you more likely to perform that compulsion again when the obsession resurfaces because your brain is tricked into thinking it's a safe mechanism.

When we re-experience our obsessions, they may even multiply overtime. I'm going to give a personal example!!

In 2022, I experienced a severe Relationship OCD episode where I was plagued with fears of a person abandoning me. The initial obsession was "im afraid of this person leaving me" and after performing a compulsion, it then went from that thought to "what if I hurt him and he abandons me?" and then to "what if he finds somebody better and replaces me, which means he'll abandon me!!!!!" So every new intrusive thought can be traced back to the initial obsession — the fear of abandonment. Every compulsion performed keeps you more and more stuck.

Debunking Myths and Misconceptions

Myth #1: OCD is about being overly clean and organized.

While obsessions with cleanliness and symmetry do exist, this stereotype oversimplifies these behaviors and fails to recognize the deeper issues that cause these ritualistic actions. The act of cleaning things excessively or rearranging items is often dumbed down to a preference, when the reality is that the person is trying to reduce their anxiety stemming from unsettling obsessions.

Myth #2: OCD is just a personality quirk

This often coincides with the first one. A personality quirk is something that is taken lightly, but this is a mental ILLNESS. We cannot simply control these obsessions and compulsions, even though a majority of us are aware of the irrational and excessive nature of them. We do not enjoy them and they cause impairment, affecting multiple areas of our lives.

Although the exact cause of OCD is unknown, it's thought to be a combination of factors such as genetics, brain structure, and environmental factors such as chronic stress or traumatic life events.

Myth #3: Everyone is "A little OCD"

OCD is often used as an adjective to describe certain traits or behaviors such as being clean and organized. This language is highly dismissive of those living with the actual condition and paints an inaccurate picture of the disorder, more palatable for the general public to "relate to"

YOU DO NOT HAVE OCD JUST FOR HAVING A PREFERENCE FOR CLEANLINESS. IF YOU LIKE IT, IT'S NOT OCD!!!!!

OCD is a more complex condition than the general public makes it look. Reminder that the OCD brain is physically structured differently. It is a neurobiological disorder.

Myth #4: OCD is rare

According to the International OCD Foundation, 1 in 40 adults have it, or will develop it. 1 in 100 children and teens have the condition, which is about the same number of autistic youth worldwide. This may only account for those with an official diagnosis. Many go undiagnosed for years due to harmful misconceptions and stigma.

Myth #5: OCD isn't treatable

OCD isn't curable, but it can be treated with a combination of medication and therapy. ERP therapy is the golden standard treatment for OCD, but some may benefit from other forms of therapy. Antidepressants, or SSRIs, are also used.

Myth #6: Compulsions can only be physical

As discussed before, there is a subtype called "Pure-O OCD" or "Pure OCD" this name can be misleading because it implies that there are only obsessions, but people with this subtype experience mental compulsions. This type of OCD is harder to detect and people often don't realize they're performing mental compulsions because they feel more "automatic" and are seen as normal to the person performing the compulsions.

There are more misconceptions, but I'll leave it there!!!

Let's Talk Stigma!

While the stereotypes applied to OCD often leave the condition to be trivialized and not taken as seriously as other mental health conditions, it can be just as demonized.

In recent years, we've seen a surge of people opening up about their OCD-related intrusive thoughts/obsessions, only to be met with scrutiny from others who don't understand what intrusive thoughts are.

Intrusive thoughts are wrongfully understood as "hidden desires" that a person is trying to suppress. This idea perpetually paints a person struggling with intrusive thoughts as a "dangerous" person who needs to be avoided and locked away. Thought crimes do not exist, but our thoughts are often viewed as criminal if they are not socially acceptable. This can inadvertently worsen a person's OCD symptoms and cause more unnecessary reactions to thoughts that aren't based in reality. For example, highly stigmatized subtypes such as Pedophilia OCD involve intrusive thoughts about children that the sufferer does NOT align with. If they did, they wouldn't feel the need to perform compulsions. They wouldn't experience such intense anxiety and distress as a result. The real them doesn't want to hurt children. The real them may value the children in their lives (like a family member) but living with OCD means that it can ATTACK YOUR VALUES. OCD IS A GASLIGHTER!

This leads me into the ever exhausting topic of *sigh* Tiktok trends! If you've been around, you've probably seen the phrase "I let the intrusive thoughts win"

This trend is very damaging for OCD sufferers and has inadvertently added to the stigma and misconceptions around the disorder. Not only is the term 'intrusive thought' being widely misused across the internet to mean something that it doesn't, but the phrase itself is an oxymoron.

Users who participate in this trend often confuse an intrusive thought with an impulsive thought. They'll come across a thought such as "I should dye my hair pink" and get on social media with pink hair, claiming that they "let the intrusive thought win" when they actually acted on an impulse, an IMPULSIVE thought. This is harmful for those living with intrusive thoughts because it incites the idea that people dealing with an intrusive thought may act on those thoughts. So whenever a person comes on social media and decides to open up about their OCD-related intrusive thoughts, they're met with backlash from people who claim that those aren't intrusive thoughts, when they in fact ARE. People have conflated these two types of thoughts, leading to further misunderstandings of intrusive thoughts and OCD as a whole.

Additionally, this phrase doesn't make sense. It's an oxymoron, meaning that it directly contradicts itself.

Little PSA to those reading:

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LETTING AN INTRUSIVE THOUGHT WIN. IF IT "WINS" IT WAS NEVER AN INTRUSIVE THOUGHT, IT WAS AN IMPULSE!!!

A person living with intrusive thoughts are the least likely to act on them, the opposite of an impulse. We are terrified of them. We do not entertain them.

Closing Off

If this post resonates with you and you're suspecting that you or somebody you love might be dealing with OCD, please try and book an appointment with a mental health professional who can diagnose you. I will link some resources below to help you get started!!

Living with OCD can look different for everybody, as it is a very individualistic disorder, but it can be extremely debilitating. The World Health Organization (WHO) has ranked OCD among one of the top 10 most disabling conditions worldwide, of any kind. Yet, OCD still remains one of the most misunderstood and trivialized mental illnesses. It's a much more complex disorder than people realize and can be easily confused with other conditions. I do support research-based self diagnosis, but if you're going to, please keep in mind that OCD is more than experiencing an intrusive thought. There is a diagnostic criteria that must be met.

OCD isn't cute, funny, or quirky. It's not a benefit to those who have it. It should be taken just as seriously as other mental disorders, but unfortunately, it's not. Statistics show that people living with OCD are 10x more likely to die by suicide and more struggle with ideation due to the velocity of obsessions. Many people with OCD report feeling incredibly lonely, as obsessions and compulsions take up many hours of their day and cause them to stay stuck in their heads, unable to connect to the world around them. So if you or somebody you love is struggling with OCD, just know that there is help out there for you. You're never alone, and remember: YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS!!

List of Resources Here!

[txttletale]

me, logging onto my giant pollution device that raises earth's temperature 0.01 degree in exchange for making a picture of trump wearing giant shoes that looks photorealistically soggy on all surfaces, so that i can avoid the "cringe" of using MS Paint for the price of two emergency flashlight cranks: "this is good, because it makes people who are the wrong subtype microculture of communist mad at my better one"

do you play video games

[butch-reidentified]

do you actually have a genetic disorder??

how does it work whats it called

I have vascular-type Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (vEDS - though many patients prefer to use VEDS for reasons discussed in the link at the end of this post). it's a connective tissue disorder with several subtypes, but vascular-type is the only type that's deadly. current typical life expectancy is like 48ish, but even then, that's if you take a certain class of medication that I can't take (makes my blood pressure so constantly and severely low that I become bedbound) - when I was first diagnosed with unspecified EDS, the lifespan estimates for VEDS were closer to 40 years. that doesn't necessarily mean I can't possibly live a good bit longer - there have been patients who've lived about as long as a typical healthy person, but there's no way to predict it or mitigate it. lifestyle, in this case, makes basically zero difference. I could be the fittest and healthiest lifestyle person on earth or be a couch potato who eats nothing but fast food and it wouldn't really mean much in terms of this either way.

I've posted before about my EDS (never in detail idt) & it's mentioned in the About Me section of my Pinned, but had avoided getting the test for VEDS until fairly recently - not fully intentionally, just got caught up in life and kind of already suspected based on certain traits and symptoms I have that are associated with the vascular type (including a history of SCAD*). it's actually good I waited bc they found a new variety of the gene mutation since my initial diagnosis that may be present in a whole 50% of VEDS patients!

*SCAD = Sudden Coronary Artery Dissection, often considered a type of heart attack, where your artery just zshlurps n pops a hole in it. I recently had read a few studies showing that female people, especially if otherwise broadly healthy, are more able than males to heal from SCAD without or with very conservative medical intervention (I don't even go to hospital atp for pretty much anything my body does, but I did briefly die once and have posted my NDE experience here before), however I'm struggling to find these studies all of a sudden. that said, the below AHA article mentions that "among patients with acute myocardial infarction, patients with SCAD have a lower risk of mortality, which is attributed primarily to their younger age, female sex, and low prevalence of atherosclerotic risk factors."

[madamepestilence]

H5N1: What to know before fear spreads

What is H5N1?

H5N1 is a 1996 strain of the Spanish or Avian Flu first detected in Chinese birds before spreading globally across various avian species. H5N1 is similar to H1N1, but spreads slower and has a much higher mortality rate.

H5N1 may also be referred to as Influenza A. The American Association of Bovine Practitioners has seen fit to rename H5N1 to Bovine Influenza A Virus, or BIAV, and are encouraging others to use the same terminology.

I would not be surprised if the colloquial name among the public becomes Bovine Flu or American Flu in the coming months, and may be referred to as the Chinese Flu by the same folks who took the spark of the SARS-CoV-2 (COVID-19) pandemic as an excuse to be publicly racist to East Asian people without social repercussions.

BIAV is a virus, meaning that it is a (probably) non-living packet of self-replicating infectious material with a high rate of mutation. BIAV is structured similarly to SARS-CoV-2, having a packet of infectious material encased in a spherical shell with a corona, or crown, of proteins that can latch to living cells to inject RNA.

Image source with interactive model: ViralZone - H5N1 subtype

What is the history of BIAV?

In 1996 and 1997, an outbreak of BIAV occurred among poultry and infected 18 people in Hong Kong, 6 of which died. This seemingly isolated incident then infected ~860 people with a >50% death rate.

At the time, BIAV was known as Highly Pathogenic Avian Influenza, or HPAI, and killed nearly 100% of chickens within a 48 hour period.

From 2003 to 2005, continual outbreaks occurred in China and other East Asian countries, before spreading to Cambodia, the Netherlands, Thailand, and Vietnam.

From 2014 to 2016, it began being detected in American fowl, as well as mutating the H5N6 (lethal in birds, no human to human transmission) and H5N8 (largely spread through turkeys, ducks had immunity) viruses.

BIAV has since evolved into a clade known as 2.3.4.4b, and was first detected in 2021 in wild American birds. This then caused outbreaks in 2022 among wild and domesticated birds (such as chickens) alike, but was largely being overshadowed by the pressing SARS-CoV-2 pandemic at the time.

From 2022 to 2023, it was observed to be spreading among various mammals, including humans. Now, in 2024, we're having the most concerning rapid outbreak of BIAV since 2003.

BIAV is known to spread from mammal to mammal, particularly between cows and humans. BIAV may also be spread from cow to cow (highly likely, but not confirmed - this is likely the reason the virus has spread to Idaho from Texan cattle), and is known to be lethal to domestic cats and birds within 48 hours.

How does BIAV spread?

BIAV spreads through fomites - direct contact with infected animals or infected surfaces and then touching parts of your face or other orifices - as well as through airborne particulates, which may be inhaled and enter the sinuses and lungs.

BIAV is known to spread through:

Asymptomatic Ducks, geese, swans, various shorebirds

Symptomatic, may be lethal Foxes, bears, seals, sea lions, polar bears, domestic cats, dogs, minks, goats, cows, (potentially human to human, but unconfirmed - there have only been 8 potential human to human cases in 2024).

How can I protect against BIAV?

As BIAV is a type of Influenza A, existing protocols should do fine.

Current recommendations are to wash your hands vigorously after interacting with birds (I would also recommend doing this with mammals), avoid touching your face or other open orifices, and wear N95 masks.

Avoid sick or dead animals entirely - I would also recommend reporting them to your local Animal Control or veterinary centre and warning them about the infection risk. People who work with animals are recommended to also wear full PPE such as N95 masks, eye protection, gloves, and partake in vigorous hand washing.

If you suspect you've caught BIAV, seek medical attention immediately. Existing medications such as oseltamivir phosphate, zanamivir, peramivir, and baloxavir marboxil can reduce BIAV's ability to replicate.

Standard flu shots will not protect against BIAV. Remember - symptoms of BIAV may not manifest for between 2 to 8 days, and potentially infected people should be monitored for at least 10 days.

How far has BIAV spread?

BIAV is currently a global virus, though the current infection location of note is the United States.

Image Key: Dark red - Countries with humans, poultry and wild birds killed by H5N1 Deep red - Countries with poultry or wild birds killed by H5N1 and has reported human cases of H5N1 Light red - Countries with poultry or wild birds killed by H5N1

Image source: Wikipedia - Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 - File: Global spread of H5N1 map

Image source: Metro.co.uk - Map shows where bird flu is spreading in US amid new warning - File: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s H5N1 bird flu detections map across the United States

Should I be afraid?

You needn't be afraid, just prepared. BIAV has a concerningly high lethality, but this ironically culls its spread somewhat.

In the event human to human transmission of BIAV is confirmed, this will likely mainly affect marginalized communities, poor people, and homeless people, who are likely to have less access to medical care, and a higher likelihood of working in jobs that require frequent close human contact, such as fast food or retail jobs.

Given the response to SARS-CoV-2, corporations - and probably the government - may shove a proper response under the rug and refuse to participate in a full quarantine, which may leave people forced to go to work in dangerous conditions.

If this does spread into an epidemic or pandemic, given our extensive knowledge about Influenza, and the US having a backup vaccine for a prior strain of H5N1, a vaccine should be able to be developed relatively quickly and would hopefully be deployed freely without charge - we won't have to worry about a situation like The Stand.

Wash your hands, keep clean, avoid large social gatherings where possible, wear an N95 mask if you can afford them (Remember: Cloth masks are the least protective, but are better than nothing. If you can't afford N95 masks, I recommend wearing a well-fitted cloth mask with a disposable face mask over it to prevent pneumonia from moisture buildup in the disposable mask), support the disabled, poor, and homeless, and stay educated.

We can do better this time.

Further things to check out:

YouTube: MedCram - H5N1 Cattle Outbreak: Background and Currently Known Facts (ft. Roger Seheult, M.D.)

Wikipedia - Influenza A virus subtype H5N1

Maine.gov - Avian Influenza and People

CDC.gov - Technical Report: Highly Pathogenic Avian Influenza A(H5N1) Viruses

Wikipedia - H5N1 genetic structure

realagriculture - Influenza infection in cattle gets new name: Bovine Influenza A Virus (BIAV)