#autism stuff mostly i guess
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Looks like I really have my pondering cap on today so i'm just gonna ramble some more
Since i got diagnosed with AuDHD a few years back, it's been really interesting thinking back on so many different things and having a new angle to examine it all from. There's been stuff that i could even say has felt cathartic in the sense of being able to be kinder to myself about some things after over 30 years of causing myself needless suffering. But also a lot of stuff that I have realised I really need to improve on and either haven't understood or even noticed before. Now that I'm learning about the toolset I've been setup with and have a better understanding of how to operate, maybe the improvement is finally possible. I've always really struggled with asking for help mostly because I was raised to be independent through both useful(actual skills) and harmful(mindset&left on my own way too much) means. The whole "don't ask other people to solve your problems/don't bother people with something that doesn't involve them" mantra i got repeated at as a kid, over time evolved into feeling really proud of being so independent. Nothing wrong with that in itself I think, but at some point it starts to be harmful. It can make you become distant while it feels more like selflessness, esp when you're always ready to offer help but never accept any. And somewhere in the back of your mind there's a bit of that "I'm better because I don't need to ask for help" -attitude brewing as well. All the while I could've seriously used some help on a good variety of things. But no, I felt like I had to figure it out on my own even if it was something that you actually need at least another pair of hands for. Now it feels a bit easier because I feel like I can start with "hey i kinda struggle with these things in general so I could use some assistance" or just straight up say that "uhhh sorry but i didn't understand that" instead of pretending that I did out of shame for not knowing everything i'm ever talked to about. Still difficult things to shake off often because its what i've done most of my life. I also still really struggle with being helped/instructed when I've not asked for any of it, I can get really annoyed really fast with that. I feel like I need to fucking go for a full meditation mode for a while to remind myself time and time again that people are usually just trying to be genuinely helpful because they want to. Funny how I remember that while i'm doing the same myself, but when it's being aimed at me, suddenly it's all upside down, huh. Stuff like this I've really started to see way better after i got diagnosed. Knowing that the wrinkly blob residing in my bone-dome is actually wired differently really allowed me to have a new perspective on stuff. It isn't a free ticket to be an ass or ignorant etc. But if you don't know how it can effect you, it's not surprising if you struggle so much more in so many ways and end up needlessly suffering. So when you become(sometimes painfully) aware of these things you understand your own and sometimes the behaviours of others better. Doesn't happen overnight for sure though. (The depression I've had accumulating since my teens definitely has had a negative effect on a lot of these things too making everything even more difficult.) Then there are the fun little things that suddenly start to make a lot more sense, like being told all of these things repeatedly: - You always seem disinterested in everything/ you're not at all excitable - You sound bored / monotone - You're always pouting / you always look uninviting / you should try smiling sometime ^u^ - You're so quiet / you never seem to have anything to say - You daydream/ space out too much - Stop bouncing your leg, tapping things, fiddling, biting/chewing things - Stop making weird noises - You do [thing] in such overly complicated/weird way - You forget so much stuff but remember the weirdest details about anything
Forever annoyed about people telling me how I look the way I do though, because bitch that's literally just how my face is. The corners of my mouth have never really curved upwards so matter how big of a smile i'm pulling. My neutral face really just looks like :( and when i'm smiling it's more like :I Maybe try looking for the smile in my eyes sometime. And hey, getting older is making everything sag and droop even more, so i'll keep getting more and more pouty with time! I'll become the most pissed off looking fossil there ever was.
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2023 reads / storygraph
Something More
YA contemporary about a Palestinian-Canadian girl starting high school, navigating new crushes and accepting her recent autism diagnosis
#something more#jackie kalilieh#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#this is pretty good!#obv it’s not my kind of book but having an autistic MC made it a lot less frustrating than a similar book with an allistic MC would be imo#I thought it was a great representation of a low support needs autistic teen girl#and like. embracing her autism but also it's not the only thing the book is about#Was a bit exhausting the way she keeps going back to this guy even though he’s kinda shitty#though I guess it felt quite transparent that the narrative is partly about recognising unhealthy relationships & what mistakes you should#forgive and what are ongoing patterns. and most of the relationships are like different examples of that#so like that gave me a bit of a step back from all the drama and stuff that would have otherwise annoyed me too much#because it was obvious that that was the point of all that#I think it would have been good to have developed her relationship with her grandmother - 3/4 through something happens#and it has pretty much no emotional punch because I was like wait. she has a grandmother?#Maybe that would have made it too sad when it’s mostly a lighthearted romance but like. you could have made the thing more of just a scare
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..
#sorry sorry I just woke up and im having yesterday-was-weird thought again#and they are going here so i don't have to talk to the person that they're um about yet#basically im glad that im in a good enough space now that um#someone ive ive had text-based sex with and uhhh sent an ill-advised video to in like oct when i was Feeling Bad™ and doing. hm. too much.#like 6 months post text-based sex/ill adised video now aha and we've not spoke at all since like january and that was 'how was hols'#they asked to meet up 'not for sex just as friends' or i forget exact wording but basically that#no-pressure museum not-a-date#and i said I'd think about it. because i am as everyone knows a fucking idiot.#basically im glad that im in a better place now than the last time someone like expressed an interest in me as a person#because while this did give me a day long wobble i didn't have a full weekend long actual panic about it#tho they are two v different situs#an ace poly friend asking to go out with me vs someone i uh virtually fucked aha um asking to meet up for (mostly) being-friends purposes#same several-hours-later 'oh god no what have i done bad bad bad no thank you actually no sorry i cant sorry' but less intense this time#but at least i only said ill think about it?#and not actually immediately said yes because it's nice to feel wanted#and then gone Maximum Regret™ because actually all of this is way too much i don't like it i don't want it thank you but im sorry no#weird. i guess i don't have such a high baseline stress level any more? since i'm not at uni n stuff#and someone over messages going no pressure you want to be irl friends (maybe fwb no pressure)? is um#is different. to someone irl going you want to go out acely? yeah? awesome lets hold hands here is the discord with a whole buncha people#i guess#but i am being equally aro-not-super-ace Autism™ about it aha#and i am. eventually. going to be like. thought about it and no sorry. eventually.#if they ask again#i am kinda hoping they'll leave it there and forget they asked so i don't have to navigate social stuff#im much better at navigating canals everybody leave me alone please thank you#(everybody over there leave me alone. y'know. you guys are fine.)
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Hey random but if there's anything I'm ever somehow being disrespectful about or saying incorrectly or doing wrong things, PLEASE let me know because chances are I have absolutely no idea. Because the last thing I want to do is something disrespectful or offensive
#i guess I'm thinking about this because like#there's the whole thing where people are misusing the term of autism i guess and even just equating it to normal weird quirks#and making these jokes and such#and there was all this stuff i knew but I don't know how much is legit#i thought i was on the autism spectrum for a long time#I still wonder but#i did do some dumb little quizzes for a dr (who didn't even normally do stuff like this i think) and the results were that I'm not hut who#knows of the accuracy#and it left me feeling bad because a lot of traits of myself i thought were similar to being on the autism spectrum#and even then i think I'm weird and have weird traits in general and was discouraged i didn't have like. a reason for why I'm weird the way#i am. and if I'm not i really don't want to be saying anything i shouldn't. before I was just mostly following what everyone around me was#saying#am i allowed to say hyperfixations?? can i have those if I'm not? because i definitely have those#i don't want to make any ignorant jokes or statements#who knows if i sit anywhere on that spectrum (even my mom thinks i do) but if i don't. i just want to be careful#i do have very high anxiety AND ocd if that means anything#those are confirmed#sock talk
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do you ever just
#I’m kind of dying a little but it’s cool#I had an appointment with a psychiatrist today and I feel like I’m kind of regretting it 😖#I went in mostly concerned about my autism and adhd and prepared to talk about/deal with those#but then she ended up prescribing me lexapro for my anxiety#so I went and did a bunch of research on that but I’m kind of terrified of taking it#because it seems like a lot of people get nasty side effects especially at first#and like having anxiety isn’t fun but I can push through that even if I’m an anxious wreck about some things#but like my autism and adhd affect my life a lot more#like being totally overstimulated in public or not being able to hold my focus at all are a lot bigger deal to me#and I’m horrible at communicating with people especially in real time rather than over email or whatever#so I didn’t really properly get across my concerns and just sort of let her prescribe what she wanted#idk now I’m having doubts and I’ve never really taken meds before beyond otc stuff or like the odd strep prescription when I was younger#especially nothing that messes with your brain like this one does#plus I just really don’t do well with not feeling well or not feeling like myself so that kind of freaks me out#and I really should be sleeping rn but I just need to get this stuff off my chest I guess#it’s like things weren’t totally fine the way they were but they were *fine* you know#not changing things is just easier I guess#I just like to be prepared and researched and this psychiatrist took me off guard#I just don’t know what to do now#if anyone’s read this far- has anyone else with audhd taken lexapro for anxiety?#did it go okay?#im kind of scared of it now#😮���� okay I really need to go to sleep now#anxiety#autism#Adhd#actually autistic#Vent post#i guess? It was really just in the tags
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oh my god. that one "oc" we wrote who had DID that we came up with before our syscovery. that was not an oc. oh my god cody and blake why did you take five years to make yourselves known to us-
#AND WHY DID YOU GET FRONT TRIGGERED BY A RANT REVIEW OF A MOVIE BASED ON A PSEUDO-ROMCOM BOOK???#question not necessarily directed at them but the structure of our system as a whole#we've been doing a lot of discovering of headmates who were FOR SURE around before our proper syscovery#most of whom we. conceptualized as paracosm characters i guess to cope?? and mask without knowing??#which is probably why our paracosm is inseparable from our system they are one and the same#but like. i mean we found the whole valley full of elder scrolls introjects (there were 11 of them. at once)#who at least with Aerina and Serana they both were around when we were 14 at the very least#bc aerina holds a shocking amount of memories of high school that we thought we'd just Lost Forever#like. she actually remembers what our classrooms looked like#we know that the Sides (like. of the sanders variety) that we made for ourselves. like our own Sides#most of them became true headmates but we're not sure about the rest... but they're probably here#Cecil and Cherry (intrusive thoughts and creativity) were some of our very first known members#cecil was the first actually. but we know he wasn't the first to form bc Sheo hiding his presence ANNOUNCED cecil to ruby the host from then#and like. we created our own versions of sides for every one that was in the actual series#but then There Were More. like 6 or 7 who wouldn't ever have been included in the series#and we were like 'we dunno why they're here BUT they're supposed to be OUR sides so of course there's differences!' and then.#and one of those was Aura who was our side that represented autism#we also had Ryker (anger issues) Oakley (obsession/hyperfocus) Aiden (adhd) and one that represented faith (like. spiritual and stuff)#don't remember the faith one's name it was something obscure#and seeing as like. 5 years after our syscovery we actually discovered Analise (our Logic side) in the sys#we probably have All Of Them somewhere#so like. cody and blake were from the first character we ever wrote who had DID#similar to our first trans character. writing it as if im someone on the outside when really we were just an egg carton#we didn't write Much of him but we put much work into making him like. not fulfill bad stereotypes#he was still kind of stereotypical but we were 15 and an egg carton#but like. we haven't thought abt him or his story like. Since Then#so. very odd that they both show up here and right now-#cody was supposed to be the host and blake was the only alter we actually came up with before abandoning that story like most we wrote#there were absolutely going to be more but. we never got to that point in the story#mostly bc something we were co-writing with someone else fell apart so we just started All of our projects over from scratch
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So on the whole, would you say that the Homestuck fandom struggles with Unreality a bit?
Tbh I struggle with understanding the concept of unreality a bit lol.
#did i not know how to answer this then retroactively realise it was made on 4/13 and waited an entire year to answer this ask?#it's more likely than you think#probably i guess?#i'm usually in some fantasy world#pretty sure that's the undiagnosed autism though#or dissociating#anyways all i know about it is thats what people tag stuff that???#from what i gathered is like weirdcore??? or could be real but isn't???#or goncharov#the homestuck fandom is an enigma but that's mostly because homestuck itself is an enigma#anyways i have a lot of thoughts but i will not spam the tags#revletos blabs#ask post#homestuck
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i should go to gay bars
#wind howls#or like. at least to drag shows.#im so so deeply interested in the whole culture of it and i have ! considered ! many times getting into it#im a bit shy and im not. very good at handling stuff like makeup or nail polish yet#its like the only 2 things that will make me have a bad autism time (ft. slight dysphoria)#but even then i love acting i love playing shit up i love animating a room and stuff like that#im just not sure where i would even start.#i guess going to a drag show would be a good start. i wonder if my older sister will go with me if i pay for drinks#and maybe with the twins since they are also adults#i dont know that my brother would be interested but my sibling might be ! who knows#someday. maybe.#id love to go with my friends and my boyfriend mostly but its hard to know how much of anything everyone can handle !#i have a big love for bright neon lights and im used to loud music so i know i have an easier time than some of my homies#my weaknesses lie somewhere else </3 i do wish i could paint my nails. i miss doing water marbling
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Which social media would Sherlock Holmes characters have, according to a discussion I had with my friends in the middle of a night a couple days ago. This is ACD Holmes I think but leaning onto Soviet movies somewhat.
(And yes I'm aware telegram isn't popular outside of russian-speaking internet but just let it be part of the joke i guess)
Holmes: a lot of fake accounts on every website ever, but the only place that he actually posts on for himself is his telegram channel about tobacco varieties that has almost no followers. When Watson learned that Holmes has telegram, he was pissed because he thought Holmes is there to buy drugs.
Watson: he's a really popular ao3 writer. Also has a tumblr blog and an insta where he posts pictures of food, pictures of Holmes and sometimes his drawings (which he photographs with a lot of random stuff in the background for "aesthetics"). He also created a number of "official" Sherlock Holmes accounts without telling Holmes and makes all the posts there himself.
Mrs Hudson: facebook, where she posts recipes, household advices and stuff like that, and occasionally grumbles about Holmes and Watson. Also whenever they do something that really pisses her off, she would list the flat for rent, but always take it down shortly.
Moriarty: tumblr where he mostly posts about maths and a personal website to advertise as a private math tutor. Also a private telegram channel that Holmes somehow managed to follow from a fake acc.
Lestrade: EVERY social media ever. Most notably, twitter, where he always gets in fights (especially with Holmes's fake accs). He also set up an official Scotland Yard tiktok where he just makes really bad edits of policemen just walking somewhere with some music and lots of filters on.
Irene Adler: Instagram. Also onlyfans where she posts really rarely and she's always fully clothed, but she still has like thousands on thousands of followers there.
Mycroft: an official twitter that he hired someone to manage. Also facebook.
Mary Morstan: She doesn't actually exist, it's just one of Holmes's fake Instagram accs where he posted pictures of "Watson's wedding" to escape rumours.
Sir Henry Baskerville: onlyfans with only one subscriber whose username is infusoria666. Everyone but sir Henry himself knows it's Dr. Mortimer. Also Dr. Mortimer tried to set up a travel blog for him but ended up having to post there by himself.
Dr. Mortimer: tumblr blog full of skulls and also a youtube channel. He's also one of the few people who follow Holmes's tobacco telegram, and probably its biggest fan. When they met, he mentioned his youtube channel a lot, hoping that Holmes will ask for a link, but he just ignored even the most obvious hints.
Also:
Baker Street irregulars all have tiktok. They force Watson to watch skibidi toilets.
Lestrade writes with a lot of errors and uses emojis excessively.
Moriarty writes immaculately with all the capital letters and punctuation and periods in the end of every sentence. Holmes does the same but with no capital letters.
Holmes followed Irene Adler from one of his female fake accs. She in turn followed his tobacco channel from a male acc, and commented under one of his posts recommending him to follow a blog on autism.
Once Watson posted a photo of his lunch on his insta and after that a photo of Holmes with a caption "desert :)" and refused to delete it.
Holmes made a youtube channel about beekeeping when he retired.
#sherlock holmes#acd sherlock holmes#acd holmes#soviet sherlock holmes#soviet holmes#(somewhat)#I'm not tagging all the characters
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personal TADC character analysis
uh warning this is long lol
autism time let’s go (/not in a negative way i have autism) stretches hands * I’ll go in order of the character episodes cause why not we have it (see below) i’ll put periods but it will just be to make it more readable not to be intimidating lolll
btw im completely open to interpretations of characters changing throughout the series this is just for fun
Gooseworx has said this series is mostly focused on characters rather than lore, and from what we know, i truly believe it. I don’t think any of the current characters will abstract because of this.
(I put a version of this in the glitch inn discord theory thing so if you recognize it that’s why)
Pomni: we already know her deal pretty well, as we’ve already had her episode. uuuh if anyone’s going to do something important lore wise it will probably be her as she’s the main character but can’t rlly tell what that may be. to review ep 2 though she’s an outcast who has felt like she was nothing and is a logical thinker.
(Kinger and Zooble will there their focus episode but i put it in order of who was revealed to be the ep 3 focus first)
Zooble: From their design (the entire motif is it can be changed at any time) and the fact she doesn’t know his gender, we’re dealing with some pretty clear identity issues. Friends with Gangle seems cool excited for next episode to learn more about them!
Kinger: One of the most interesting characters so far. I feel like we will get to learn more about abstraction though Queenie, the X-ed out door that looks like a female version of him. If i had to guess, since Gooseworx said they were not siblings, they were a couple. (Also judging by his age and the fact he could have been married, he may have been a father yeowch imagine that) I can see the common theory of the insect collection implying he was a coder before getting trapped, but i could also see him being some random guy who just likes bugs lol. He seems like really sweet guy behind his constant anxiety and disassociating.
Gangle: (My faveorite human rn) Her mask design can be interpreted in a lot of ways but it’s clear that the happy mask isn’t her real personality. My take on it rn is she doesn’t wana bother people with her stuff so she pretends she’s happy? She seems easily embarrassed and def has self esteem lower than the last circle of hell. What’s interesting though is she’s willing to stand up for herself from time to time, even though she’s easily shot down after.
Ragatha: Waaaay too nice for her own good. Also probably has self esteem lower than the last circle of hell and bases her self worth of others approval. Though she’s been here the second longest, she seems a lot more normal than Kinger. Makes me question how long apart their introductions have been. Probably copes via escapism.
Jax: I can see why everyone is very interested in him cause me too. He seems like the only fourth wall breaky guy (unless you count Caine cause of his intro at the pilot)which is rlly interesting how did he figure out more than everyone else? what’s with the keys? i have no clue lmao. He’s an asshole who makes the best of his situation by torturing everyone else. At the end of the day though, he’s a human and was sad at kaufmo’s abstraction but he probably isolates himself so it would probably be the same for anyone
but waAitTt a moment
that’s 6 humans but Gooseworx said we would look into 7 (cause of the “other” part) in her twitter post talking about the character focus timeline so we know our fav character won’t be left behind ⁉️⁉️⁉️ I hear you not asking well my dear hypothetical person, who better to fill the 7th character than Caine?
Why you did not ask? Too bad i’m info dumping. First, he’s the main antagonist and alongside Pomni, the commercial face (or lack their of haha teeth and eye joke) of the series. he’s an important character and loved by many. (and hated equally if not more aside the point lmaooo)
Yes, gooseworx can lie about stuff but I think she’s smarter than to lead this heavy into Caine depth/ angst territory if there wasn’t going to be anything On top of that, the entire purpose of the timeline post was so we know our faveorite characters weren’t getting treated poorly. It’s unlike for a character based show to suddenly drop such a major character for some random other guy were introduced to later or smth. i mean cmon there’s three episodes after all the humans at least one of them has to be focused on my boy.
Caine: I believe he really does have good intentions and wants to help but just does not understand people at all. This means he’s like an anxiety disorder; it wants to help, solves some issues but creates 500 more. Judging by the Tumblr post, loneliness may play a big part in what’s to come? I’ve always had a feeling his front was extremely fake and his VA saying “breaks keyfable” (an act that pretends it’s true) supports that theory. Episode two gives some insecurity vibes when Zooble didn’t want to go on the adventure. I find that pretty interesting cause he didn’t care at all if people went on the gloink adventure or not. Maybe he puts some adventures over others and he could have been proud of the candy adventure cause more time and care was put into it and he made a new AI. Why did he blue screen? i feel like he could have some blockages on what he can say built in though im not sure why he was blocked then if he even was. one of the biggest questions i have ab him currently tbh. what’s with him grabbing his cane like that in ep 2? if i had to guess simply be nervous = that? His VA also knows some depth to him even though his focus episode is likely going to be at least one of the last 3 episodes, which they have not gotten to recording yet. You know what this means Caine angst solidarity club? Sad Caine so more fan angst appetizers before the main cannon feast let’s friccin go‼️‼️⁉️⁉️
(try to guess my fav impossible /j)
#glitch productions#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc caine#tadc pomni#tadc gangle#tadc zooble#tadc kinger#tadc ragatha#tadc jax
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Welcome to my blog! :3
Do you like videogames, cartoons, anime or artwork of ANY genre as long as it's made by a human? You've come to the right place! I draw whatever tickles me fancy, shitpost, rant, chill(mostly).💕✨
Above here is my self insert Sona(description in alt).⬆️
(I used the term "Mary Sue" in a silly way, no ill will whatsoever./srs)
I don't have a specific schedule, I just post whenever I like.
This here is what I am!(It's already said in my bio but whatever.)⬇️
(Blinkies by @dragonpride17 .)
I'm also a platonic selfshipper.
Strictly platonic f/os(in other words, we're STRICTLY friends, don't be weird):
Secret History Tails(Mashed), Glamrock Freddy(FNAF), Fizzarolli(Helluva Boss), Husk(Hazbin Hotel), Funtime Freddy(FNAF), Luigi(Super Mario), Goofy(Disney), Oswald the Lucky Rabbit(Disney), Big the Cat(Sonic), Fleegle the Beagle(The Banana Splits), Drooper the Lion(The Banana Splits), Mangle(FNAF), Circus Baby(FNAF), Mimzy(Hazbin Hotel), Banny(The Walten Files), DogDay(Poppy Playtime), CraftyCorn(Poppy Playtime), Spinel(Steven Universe).
Queerplatonic f/os(I guess):
Mortality(Boozoo's Ghosts/The Walten Files) and Pumpkin Rabbit(The Mysterious House/The Walten Files).
Don't roast me!>:[
The stuff I'm into is FNAF, Sonic, FNF, The Banana Splits(show and movie,), BATIM, Steven Universe(kinda), SML and SMLwiki(kinda), Disney(kinda), Pokémon(kinda), Tim Burton stuff(kinda), Hellaverse stuff, Coraline(kinda), Super Mario, Don Bluth stuff(kinda), The Walten Files, DHMIS, Welcome Home, Pizza Tower, Poppy Playtime, Garten of Banban, MLP(kinda), The Amazing Digital Circus(kinda), Monkey Wrench(kinda), Little Nightmares(kinda) and the Mashed channel(the one with the crazed fox).
DNI if you're:
LGBTQIA+phobic, TERFs, SWERFs, transmeds, syscourse, pro-endo, m-spec lesbians/lesboys(not butch lesbians or he/him lesbians), an IRL gore blog, a SH/ED blog, disrespect people's pronouns(this includes neopronouns), sexist(misogyny and misandry), NSFW(kinks, fetishes, etc.), a zooph1le, a zoosad1st, a pedo(map), ableist, racist, xenophobic, anti-xenogender, anti-objectum, transabled, transrace(not the adoption kind), transage, a fan of Pretty Blood and/or support the creator), a bodyshamer, someone who invalidates trauma, a proshipper, a comshipper, a darkshipper, toxic(in general), a zionist, a nazi(or at least a supporter), pro-cringe culture, believe blackwashing is real(it fucking isn't), anti-therians, anti-furries, anti-semitism, anti-agere/agedre/petre/petdre, use "fatherless"/"parentless" as an insult, say "kys" as a joke(it's a very serious thing), joke about abuse, pedophilia or rape(another serious thing), anti-alterhumans, AI "art" and crypto and NFT bros.
Rules when asking or whatever:
1.Use tone tags(they're REALLY important).
2.No arguing.
3.Be kind to others.
4.No hate speech(you WILL be blocked if I find out.
5.No NSFW(I know I already said this but still).
6.I can only do art trades and if you want to ask about what you want, come to my DMs(ya know, the speech bubble icon).
7.If you want to do an ask involving any of my AUs, go right ahead but remember the rules and stuff.
8. As far as donations go.
My YouTube is here!(It's where my videos are.)⬇️
Also, please support my sister and her work!⬇️
@valkyriephoenix98
Her channel:
#Hello#fnaf#sonic the hedgehog#Mashed#welcome home#dhmis#disney goofy#love is love#pizza tower#the banana splits#Steven Universe#Coraline#pokémon#sml#everyone is welcome#Monkey wrench#Hazbin Hotel#Helluva Boss#five nights at freddy's#friday night funkin#queer artist#lgbtqia#queer community#irish artist#actually autistic#secret history tails#platonic selfship#the walten files#artists on tumblr
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Hello. I hope I'm not bothering you, but I was wondering what's your personal headcanons on the Bayverse Turtles? I may have spelled headcanons wrong, so correct me if I am wrong.
(Dude I always spell headcanons wrong I got you)
Oooh hc time! Random stuff really, but:
Mikey has ADHD and Autism. I mention it very briefly in my tmnt chat fic, but I read a fanfic with this idea and it just fits so much for me. Especially the ADHD, which I think the creator of the movie confirmed somewhere anyway?
Donnie has chronic pain in his upper back/spine area, specifically where the shoulders are. To me, he just seems to have a more awkward, uneven build compared to his brothers - he is thinner and taller, yet his shell is still huge. So i kind of had this hc floating around. Idk if other people like it but eh. Cant be a nerd without a bad back I guess
Mikey and Donnie are definitely the younger brothers. Mikey being almost a full year after Donnie, and Donnie being about half a year after Raph and Leo (who are the same age)
Raph knits. Basically confirmed anyway. Specifically he learnt to knit after they were struck by a particularly harsh winter and needed blankets - Raph, being the only one that wasn’t too weak/in hibernation mode at the time, learnt how to knit to try and protect his family when he couldn’t fight the enemy with punches and kicks. He still knits blankets for them every year when the winter grows cold. They keep every one, so they have the comfiest beds
They share a room. 4 giant turtles crammed into one room with rickety bunk beds and hammocks is very funny to imagine
Leo loves romance movies. In particular the TV movie ones.
Leo had a similar attitude to Raph when he was a child until Splinter went missing for a few days whilst scavenging for food (he was fine in the end…mostly. A hasty escape from a warehouse caused him to injure his leg and be forced to hide until he could gain enough strength to return to his sons). When seeing his brothers grow hungry and scared over the few days he took charge, becoming much more of the Eldest Brother figure.
Mikey idolises Leo. He wants to be just like him one day. He thinks he’s the coolest. (It makes Leo’s comment about his head “always being in the clouds” hurt so much more)
Mikey gets a Klunk eventually, saved from being drowned. Her siblings were not as lucky (yes, I am very much writing a fic for this)
Donnie’s favourite pass time is computer science/programming/IT based activities, like how 2012 Donnie seems to enjoy chemistry the most and 2003 Donnie leans heavily towards engineering.
Leo loves house plants
Raph hates house plants
Donnie is blind as hell without his glasses and spent a lot of his younger years unable to see much. Once he could finally see he suddenly was given a world with endless possibilities and potential
Leo is terrible at technology. I’m talking 80 year old woman bad. He always clicks on scam ads and blows up computers. Something just doesn’t click with him and technology
They all have heavy turtle instincts due to them, like 2003, being just turtles rather than a mix of human dna. This causes them to have instincts and qualities turtles have such as retreating into their shells, brumating (at least partially), chirping, etc.
Donnie has a major sweet tooth
Raph can’t stand most sweet things
As kids, they would spend most their time looking at the human world and pretending they were with them.
Donnie is autistic, and has a lot of stims when he is happy that involve chittering and chirps.
Leo cheats at every video game/board game they play due to the eldest sibling advantage
Mikey loves to draw his own comics
Their Christmas hip hop album is fire
Raph is actually the cook, and is quite good at it. Mikey always burns things or they are undercooked because he’s too impatient, Donnie experiments and Leo blows everything up
That’s all for now!
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MY VENTURE HEADCANONS!!! :3
copy pasted from my tiktok plus some :3
AAAAA I LOVE THEM SO MUCJ U DONT UDNERTSND
~☆~
• wants to take care of plants but cant due to their job
• forgets to drink water a lot
• one time passed out due to dehydration, the wayfinder society found them in a cave and they had to be in the emergency room for a day
• since then, they got an app on their phone that buzzes when they should drink water and itll water a virtual plant :3
• unironically loves classical music
• likes to scour the internet in their spare time to listen to different music genres from different eras
• wishes they could learn intruments, especially ancient ones that people dont typically play anymore but cant cause of the time their job takes, but they still admire people who do play those intruments still!!
• their parents are missing and are pressumed dead and they hope that by being an archeologist they can find them one day
• used to cry as a kid when people would squish ants :(
• they think they dont have time for a partner, so theyre not really looking for one, but wouldnt be opposed to having one if they met the right person
• if they did meet someone they were interested in, would be super estatic and friendly, talking to them a lot, looking for them when they enter a room, etc
• would prefer an in-person relationship, they would be willing to try long distance but with how much they travel for their job, they will end up not being happy because they feel like they have to choose between their partner and passion :((
• they would end up romantacising the person theyre interested in and get disappointed when they dont live up to their fantasies
• really good at coming up with art n crafts ideas, bad at executing them
• autism
• used to be super interested in internet history as a kid, like random events that went down on the internet n stuff, but not so much anymore since theyre an archeologist now
• fav ice cream is rocky road (who would've guessed)
• messy eater
• love language is gift giving and quality time
• speaking of gift giving, if they liked someone they would def research crystal meanings and give them specific crystals based on their meaning
• need some extra luck? they're giving u aventurine, got into trouble recently and need protection? boom amethyst, they like you but they're too scared to say so? they're giving you rose quartz daily and hope you get the hint
• LOVES those shark tooth necklaces and wears one under their sweater (mostly just cuz they don't want it to get caught on something while working and have it fall off)
• any vacations they get from work, they always make sure to visit their grandma and tell her all about their adventures and findings !!
• thinks people with crooked teeth are the absolute cutest (totally not a self insert for me cuz I got crooked teeth ahahahaa nope)
• when they paint their nails they always just do it messily and just let the excess nail polish on their fingers to fall off ☠️☠️ (same)
• can def carry a conversation if ur shy or just don't talk a lot
• has a social media platform where they post cool things they find, after becoming associated with Overwatch, it gains traction
• after their profile gains attention, it actually becomes an in-universe meme/rumor that they chipped their tooth eating a rock
• Sloane thought it was funny, but they eventually come out and make a post saying they chipped their tooth after a rock came flying at their face while drilling 😞
• asexual cuz I said so
• u know that one dinosaur death pose fossil? they have something like that tattooed on their body
• also a compass tattoo probs
• is the BEST hugger
• when they're excited to see you, they'll hug u n pick u up n spin u around n everything
• is the type to see smth random and go "so-and-so would like this" and just get it without seconds thoughts
• used to draw in high school, but kinda stopped after joining the wayfinders
• is incredibly embarrassed by said drawings and would only show you if you either also showed something equally embarrassing or if yall are extremely close....
• had a lego phase
• Sloan and Junkrat send each other random cryptic texts that wouldn't make sense to anyone else looking at them, but it makes sense to them (it'd be stuff like random images or words or gibberish that'd make u go "what ☠️") (and it'd be at such random intervals like a random text from junkrat at 2am and Sloan doesn't send anything back until 3 days later at noon like???)
• I'm sorry but they're a bad texted lmfao they forget to check their phone all the time
• but they're def not a dry texter tho, they'd use faces like :D D: :p :) :3 >u< ): and type in all caps when they're excited with typos
~☆~
I COULD WRITE MORE BUT IF I CONTINYE ILL LITERSLLT BE HERE FOR HOURS SO I HAVE TO STOP
ANYWAYZ THAMK U FOR LISTENINGN TO ME RAMBLE ABOUT VENTURE BECUZ I LOVE THEM SO MUCJ IM SO OBSESSED WITH THEM N IM LIKE AAA AAAAANAAA AAA
anyways
yea
:3 eeeee
#venture#venture headcannons#overwatch#overwatch 2#venture overwatch#venture x reader#venture ow2#overwatch venture#overwatch headcanons#venture save me#save me venture#venture one chance pls#ONE CHANCE#headcanon
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MORE sebsamalex hcs because i am GAY and EVIL + music taste and bodies hcs
in a relationship together
sam bursts into song at any trigger word. alex joins in. sebastian gets annoyed. (affectionately)
sebastian likes his personal space. sam also likes sebastian’s personal space.
sam shoves his hands up their shirts while they’re just talking. about anything. he’s clingy and needs skin contact
‘i don’t feel like talking to anyone right now, but i guess i’m not opposed to silently being held.’
sebalex always do ‘the hand thing tm’ for sam when he’s overwhelmed or nervous.
“Alex save me alex” “WHO NEEDS SAVING?????!!!!!!!!🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️🔥🔥‼️‼️‼️‼️”
“i’m out of facepaint! gimme your eyeliner” “..no?”
tucking seb’s hair behind his ear before they kiss him
hands definitely go through sams hair when they kiss him
hands go to alex’s neck, shoulders, chest,… this guy gets violated compared to the cute hair touching honestly.
kidding they also just hold his face gently. alex my love grbrbrgrnrbbrbfnf
alex has to take everything verryyy very slowly to adjust to actually dating a guy for the first time.
he’s also very very surprised to be actually loved and known for the first time, ‘what do you mean you recorded the game for me because i forgot to…? bro, i’ll cry’
sambastian just constantly making out. any time. any where. gay emo boys who don’t care about their reputation sighs
sambastian also love giving each other a shit ton of prominent and visible hickeys to the neck, collar, shoulders and jaws.
general stuff
seb unintentionally has very flirty body language. he’s just naturally a man whore. the way he moves physically is stiff but he still looks up at taller guys with half-lidded eyes while talking in a low voice. looking down at shorter girls with a soft smirk with his dimples.
samalex are unintentionally flirty vocally. “i wouldn’t want you to go hungry. i care about you. you should be eating well. we could grab some breakfast. you and me. alone.” “why don’t you come to my next gig..? i’ll save you a special spot. just for you.” which they mean as friends but they just don’t hear the underlying tones.
alex would have a good voice if he wasn’t constantly straining it, unfortunately he loves belting passionately and straining his voice for whatever reason
sam is actually GOOD at singing. he’s also a natural when it comes to anything that’s artistic (painting, sketching, music, etc)
alex snores LOUDLY sometimes
sam drools in his sleep also sometimes
sebastian does not sleep. or is never awake. what the fuck is going on with him
all 3 of them got something going on. autism+dyslexia, depression+some sleep disorder, adhd. soorgy :( i don’t make the rules it’s canon :(
sam has a little nose bump like this :3
——
sam: [insert sam talking way too much]
seb: *throws a ball* go fetch, boy
sam: *does it no questions asked, happily*
alternately he would also just feed him any chewy candy he has on hand.
——
sam: i can’t wait to see you again. i love you, alex.
alex: dued 😆 like in a bro way? 😆 i bro you too bro 😆
sam: alex, please be my boyfriend.
alex: boyfreind? like a boy and a friend? i already am! 😆
sam: alex, i want to make out with you.
alex: dude? takeout with me?! one step ahead of you, foods on the way! 😆
——
seb: i wanna grab a midnight snack
alex: you’re the midnight snack.
seb: …?ew
alex: sorry. i mean. um. sorry. i mean. dude. you are. um.
music:
alex: listens to ‘whatever comes on the radio while i’m working out’. hype songs that get him in the mood. also kebby implanted abba into my brain. he just doesn’t listen to music that much.
he’s also somewhat into the strokes, the only band he likes/is consistent with. (reptilia, someday, ode to the mets)
sam: high energy rock, experimental rock, and pretty much anything honestly. 2000s/2010s rock mostly. he listens to everything. anything that sounds good no matter what genre immediately goes into his playlist. he just has an ear for good music.
weezer
blink 182
sublime
the white stripes
wheatus
the frights
and probably every single music artist to ever exist
also sambastian listen to csh together. you’ll have to fight me on this and lose if you disagree
sebastian: grunge, rock, nu metal, general metal, emo, and punk. dabbles in some goth. mostly stuff from the 80s/2000s. he listens to ‘that one time your dad’s friend picked you up from school and played music in the car’
the smashing pumpkins
green day
siouxsie and the banshees
soundgarden
alice in chains
pearl jam
and probably a shit ton of underground stuff i can’t think of
bodys /ref
alex: not much to imagine here since he’s very confirmed LOL god bless that 6’1 beefcake. dude’s a statue
sam: pretty tall. good looking legs because he was a skater boy (she said see you later, boy) perfect ass. some scars from skating incidents because he’s clumsy
not too much muscle but has that little vertical line down his stomach that indicates he’s growing some abs (not sure what the english word for it is)
his arms are also pretty thick ? big ? idk
broad shoulders, nice legs and okay arms. he has some bandaids on him aswell because this guy cannot catch a break. he’s not boney nor meaty, a good inbetween.
a few stick and pokes ? i think thats what people call them like a diy tattoo
also his hips don’t lie 🤫
sebastian: lanky, slightly visible ribcage. he’d have broad shoulders if they weren’t slightly curved inwards from having shit posture all his life. upsidown triangle build. contrary to popular belief, he has some muscle in his arms. to work under a motorcycle on your back has to give you some strength. maybe a sleeper build.
cis seb has a very very defined addam’s apple
i can also see a different version of him where he could be stubby looking and have some chub to him.
i also think he’d have some tattoos on him. t-scars and a more defined waist if we’re also mixing in the trans hc. maybe bat tattoos or some kind of fantasy themed tattoos covering over his t scars?
bonus:
them as kitty breeds
alex: bengal
sam: classic orange cat
sebastian: one of those rustic black cats with the orange patches
+ this image of soogyu is engraved into my head i think this is very them with seb.. the jacket sharing and sleepy head drooping sobs it’s them
shorter dump today aswell bleg
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Two weeks ago, @agramuglia uploaded the cut version of the stream he did with Charlie Knight on disability representation in fantasy worlds. And given that around the same time we had a bit of a discussion in my blog about the same issue in regards of BG3, I want to share some thoughts on this. Mind you, I am also picking up some stuff in regards to the amazing videos that Oakwyrm does on disability representation.
Because there are two topics that are so often not brought up in this context. And I am kinda saddened and a bit annoyed by this. So, let me talk about it. Because the topics of what kind of disability we see in fantasy and science fiction and what kind we don't see is actually a big topic.
Generally most fantasy disabilities fall into one of two categories:
Acquired disabilities (often in forms of missing limbs or a missing eye) that were acquired under dramatical, tragic, or heroic circumstances.
Fantasy-setting specific disabilities (for example a character who cannot fly in a setting, where everyone else can fly, or of course the classic "non-magic character in a magic world").
The first kind is the stuff we see probably most of. Again, often we see this in form of missing limbs, that depending on the setting are either replaced with some sort of magic prothesis. Ideally this is handled at least like it is in Fullmetal Alchemist, where the prothesis does not always work perfectly and needs some maintanance. Sadly, though, in a lot of cases the magic prothesis is perfect, and also other stuff that usually comes to play in regards of missing limbs (like phantom pain and related issues) do not really come to play.
Same goes with some sort of magical glass eyes and so on, if characters are missing an eye. I will not even start with the fact that glass eyes in fantasy are always perfect little balls rather than how those actually look in reality.
And either way: Usually the way those limbs and eyes have gone missing, there is really a big story behind it. In real life very typical ways for people to loose limbs is stuff like simple injuries that lead to infections, or accidents that were really kind of silly. Not in fantasy or scifi. There you do not geenrally lose a limb, unless you lose it to a dragon or devil (or I guess in a desperate attempt to revive your mother). There is always a good story behind it.
And then there are the other kind of disability we see, which the more metaphorical disability. Yes, within a world were everyone can do magic, the person who cannot do magic is disabled. Yes, within the world where everyone can fly, the person who cannot is also disabled. And yes, Karlach in Baldur's Gate 3 with her engine that is killing her has also a disability within the context of the world - as does Gale with his orb, or Shadowheart with her magic pain attacks. Heck, you could make the argument that in a way Astarion as a vampire also has magical disabilities.
But what bugs me so much about this is... The lack of all the stuff that does not get shown.
A lot of people have already spoken about how rarely we see some sort of wheelchair in fantasy settings. (In SciFi we often then see the flying wheelchairs, that are an issue on their own, though that is something I will have to talk about at another time.)
But there is so much more that we usually do not see.
Missing limbs make up around 7-8% of all disabled people. And those are mostly older people, given that - again - limb loss usually occurs because the body struggles to heal a wound and the limb needs to be amputated to prevent infactions from spreading and such. (Almost 90% of people who loose their limps are also older than 45 when they do.)
A lot of disabilities (the vast majorities) are in fact some sort of cognitive disabilities. And sure, we do see quite a few characters that are autism-coded or ADHD-coded in media. Exhibit A would be Dungeon Meshi, of course, but I mean, we all can probably name a few characters that read very autistic or hyperactive. But those are also usually the variations of those where yes, the characters might experience some disability from it, but... We do not have an autistic non-verbal protagonist, do we now?
And then there is of course all those other disabilities. I mean, I cannot imagine a single example of a character with trisomnie in fantasy or scifi media. I also have not seen a character with my disability (severely limited lung function) in fantasy or scifi before - even though, mind you, scifi could probably easily create a device that would allow someone like me to live fairly normally. You will also rarely ever find a character with something like athritis or other forms of rheumatic illness in fantasy and scifi settings. And generally speaking, with a few exceptions there are barely any characters who were born with their disabilities or have acquired their disabilities through sickness of one way or another - even though this is by far in the real world the most common way of acquiring a disability.
Other stuff we do not see: Limb differences, anything that is perceived as disfiguring (and even if those are described in books, they usually get toned down HEAVILY in movies or games, and of course anything that is related to food.
With this I am not saying that the other disabilities - those we see - are bad. But I am saying that we absolutely deserves to see those other disabilities too. And not just in some realworld drama stuff. (I mean, when it comes to depictions of a character with down syndrome in media, I can only think of one good example, which is Ansel in Stumptown, which is very much just crime drama. But that is like the one time I can think of that a character with that disability who is given agency by the plot, and who gets to have his own life, with a job, and a girlfriend and everything.)
And yeah...
Like, the two pieces of fantasy media I wanna point out as being actually pretty darn good with disability representation of a wide variety of disabilities are:
Witch Hat Atelier: This series basically focuses on the question of morality in regards to using magic to cure - and using magic to cure disabilities, too. Because of this, we see a variety of disabilities, including disabilities people were born with, disabilities acquired through sickness or through dramatic plot reasons and so on. This is really, really good in that regard.
The Witcher novel series: I hate it so much that this is something that all the adaptions just ignore. The Witcher books are very, very heavy in dealing with disabilities in a lot more realistic matters. The fact that magicians mostly are disabled people, for whom the society does not have any other use than learning magic (for whcih they get cured of their disability, and the books actually dare to quesiton "Is that a good thing?") is one part. But Geralt himself is fairly disabled, as he is dealing with chronic pain and has a limp. Gods, I would murder for a good adaption of these books
#fantasy#science fiction#disabilities#disability representation#disability awareness#disability in media#worldbuilding#magic disabilities#eugenics#discrimination#representation#diversity#baldur's gate 3#bg3#the witcher#dungeon meshi#witch hat atelier#fullmetal alchemist
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Hello! We thought it might be good to have a pinned post so y'all can know a bit about us.
I guess start with the obvious thanks to that title: We are a we.
The bit less obvious: We are one person :p We learned we were a system in September 2022. There's a bunch of us in here but not everyone fronts. The ones that do often have a lot of identity confusion/blendyness so we don't usually specify who's speaking. If you don't know, you can refer to us by the body's name, Taylor, and the pronouns we us irl, she/her.
We are also a trans woman: Or at least... the body is? It's complicated. The majority of us are girls/strongly fem leaning but we have some guys and enbies in here too. We started hrt in October 2021 so we were already a year into it when we learned about our system. After a lot of questioning we came to the consensus that we should continue hrt. The guys are willing to put up with it and overall we are quite happy with the changes.
Autism and dyslexia: These make our writing a bit stilted/disjointed sounding sometimes. The two of them combined can make socializing online exhausting, trying to figure out what to say and how to say it (anxiety is no help either). If we don't respond right away, or at all, just know we're sorry 💜
Art! The reason you're probably here lol: We create art in just about the most inefficient way possible, in ms Paint, where there are no layers, you can only rotate in 90° intervals, and if you try to resize a picture it becomes a blurry pixilated mess. And we do so without a drawing tablet. When we make pixel art we're manually placing squares one at a time. But there's something kind of soothing about this slow monotonous inefficiency. We mostly do pixel art, but sometimes we make comics, or just whatever we feel like making.
If you have any questions, this is an open invitation to ask: Curiosity is a good thing! Don't worry if you're using the "wrong" language or you think something might be too personal, as long as you're respectful and kind, feel free to ask us anything about us/our experiences/our art. If we don't want to answer we don't have to, so there's no harm in asking. Just please don't turn to us for links/resources, we're not good at keeping track of that kind of stuff.
Written by Mark (they/them), Danny (he/him), and Taylor (she/her)
(Edit: I guess we should mention we have a twitter too)
(Edit edit: screw twitter we on blue sky lol)
#We're friendly to all systems regardless of origin by the way#never pretend you understand someone's existence better than they do
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