#like im constantly pretending that i messed up so while doing it so ppl dont notice how long it actually takes me
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lady-caden · 2 years ago
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Sometimes I rlly do love my fam
#rambles#like the other day we had a gane night with my cousin and he was taking a rlly long time to tie his shoe#and i was like omg!! same!! i hate hate tying my shoes its hard and it takes me a while#like im constantly pretending that i messed up so while doing it so ppl dont notice how long it actually takes me#and he was like yeah i do this so ppl dont notice and i was like :) ik glad im not alone#and like. idk my family is also. very easily confused#like if you mess up and say something maybe they werent supposed to know#just say a random sentence/ words werid and it atuns locks us and u can correct what u were gunna say ahsjsj#and the way we do convos always junping from topic to topic to back ro this on to 'oh did you hear about this?“ ro somethinf else#like its just so nixe to see my 1st cousins and aunts and uncles and reqlize how similar we are and we can kinda just be ourselves#guess it helps its prolly cuz half of us have autism and adhd and whatever else#its just nice not having to pretend and use the typical excuses so ppl dont think ur dumb when u gotta process stuff a bit longer or#read back to them or readinf directions or even just like. tying ur shoes#omg which funny slight tangent but -- at college again i take a long time tying my shoes and i would usually try to go fast and then they#would always come untied. well i mostly hung out with 2 ppl and the one qould iust stat ryoinf tn shoes dor me because of how often it would#happen 😭#one of my shoes that i always wear is still tied from him doing it like 3/4 months ago#i dont untie my shoes after im done wearing them#i just slip em on#man i miss him#will never see him again. he lives an hour away /s
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larnax · 3 years ago
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bulbapedia is like . every evolution of litwick’s entire description is “this pokemon is evil and fucked up and manipulative and it will eat your soul” but like thats just his food :( litwick eats soul to survive its not his fault.... ingame its proven that you can walk around with a level 100 chandelure for as long as you want no problem. all the chandelures observed are in environments where they’re treated like toys or decorations and not animals who feed on a resource and their access to said resource is totally unmanaged
 i am firm and correct in my belief that a properly fed and trained litwick is just a cat
ive got more but im gonna put it under the crunchies bc ive only played one pokemon game so this is mostly just stuff i know in my heart
the problem with most ppl who keep litwicks-chandelures is that they dont regulate how much soul it eats. you can train em to only skim off what you can easily replenish/get some items that prevent it from just slurping you dry. takes effort but it can be done!
then litwicks are like i said just cats. are they domesticated? technically. do they act like it? no
also in the anime its said they mess with electronics which i think is very funny. equivalent of cat sitting on the keyboard to get ur attention is litwick taking a nap on your laptop permanently disconnecting you from the internet
litwicks are easy to keep an eye on but lampents and chandelures really like to wander off. the solution? leash. trainers patiently keeping a hold on the hot pink leash while their chandelure is pulling against it with all its might to the tune of “ashy we’ve talked about this. if you want to stop wearing the leash you have to stop trying to lead lost children to the spirit world. ashy i can stand here all day until you decide to cooperate.”
they really like to pretend to be lamps anyway like cats who think theyre invisible bc theyre behind a table leg. lampent hiding behind a chair like “you cant see me you cant see me :) :) :) i never have to get my pokevet checkup because i am an invisible ghost :) :)” meanwhile its bright purple glow and long arms are clearly visible
chandelure and lampent are pretty clean but litwicks leave wax literally everywhere like shedding dogs. to have a litwick is to be constantly dealing with singed clothes and drippy wax like. on the side of your door. a small price to pay for little guy
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minecraftoworymode · 5 years ago
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picked a whole bouquet of whoopsie-daisies the other day reading some Very badfeel content so to cheer myself up here’s some super self-indulgent ramblings about romeo recovery post-s2
“YOU CAN DANCE IF YOU WANT TO YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR INTERNALIZED MISOGYNY BEHIND” or how romeo learned to stop worrying and indulge in the ““feminine”“ shit in life
when romeo transitioned he scrubbed everything that could be potentially viewed as feminine from his appearance and behaviour. while he did everything he could about the former (hairstyle, clothing, body language, voice), it didn’t feel like enough bc he couldn’t change some things that ppl used to be jerks- his frame (short and lithe), his family, his being trans- so he made up for it by trying to “act” like a “real man”. this unfortunately meant he was super vulnerable to manipulative alt-right indoctrination tactics (”we will validate you as a man as long as you endorse our assholery and share our shitty beliefs about what it means to be a man”) and he was on the verge of getting sucked into gamergate ideology when [THIS LORE IS ANOTHER POST] and hey, now the world is minecraft. u dont gotta perform gender roles for villagers they dont care. xara will not only actually eat ur liver for pulling The Bullshit but when you are kind she smiles, so bright and warm, and it is very very nice so maybe you should keep on doing that. n fred? fred is chill with their Everything in a way uve only ever Dreamed of. romeo marinates in this sauce for a couple centuries and comes the closest to being comfortable in his own skin he’s ever been.
however,
after the Incident he slam-dunked himself back into the hypermasculinity juice bc it was a mindset “safe” from feeling pain, whether his or others’. n since the worlds the admins created dont have the same ideas of gender as the world they came from, once he’s been dethroned romeo has a particularly hard time adjusting wrt That on top of all the other 2750347502730 issues he has to face
anyway flash forward a couple months of being incredibly volatile bc he now has to confront all the terrible things he did and how Dare u make him do that and maybe if hes nasty enough he can provoke someone into killing him and saving him from having to unpack All Of That- (note from @simple-mooshroom-herder​: Xara and Jesse at least grasp that Romeo will probably burn himself out on this bullshit eventually and the best thing to do is interact with him with a certain level of healthy detachment. Eventually he'll see that theres no "getting out of this" and he'll start to do the Work but until then its very frustrating to see that tactic take him nowhere.)
- one day petra notices how he’s constantly staring at all the ppl wearing cute dresses in beacontown and at first she thinks he's being creepy but then realizes that he's not being creepy and actually she knows exactly how he feels bc she also used to look at ppl wearing clothes super not suited for combat like that, like she wished she could wear them too, like if she just didnt have to keep up this image of the Warrior who is Not Soft Ever-
n ok. listen. these worlds have been specifically engineered to be better and kinder than the one the admins came from, and when people mess up- even REALLY mess up- people are generally not only willing to forgive you but support you as you try and get better. it’s instinctual for communities to respond to misdeeds with rehabilitation and reconciliation, rather than retaliation and renunciation (tho its not an overnight thing and it generally takes 1-3 people to spearhead the process, esp if the actions have affected a large group of people). like. ivor created something that almost destroyed the entire world, not just beacontown, yet by the end of season one he’s grown to be a part of the team- n its not just jesse & co being forgiving here, bc when ivor made his s1 build with 3 lava source blocks people objected to it, but by s2 he not only has lava in his build but a giant lake of it. (im assuming the fences around said lake are coming eventually, bc safety is still important, but the implications im choosing to take from this are a) despite almost ending the world people let him into their lives anyway and b) the community not only grew to accept but encourage his self-expression.)
BUT ANYWAY before i go off on that even more one day petra and romeo basically put on an impromptu fashion show in jesse’s house (bc their house is huge and, kind of perfect for a fashion show, and also right next to the order hall’s armory whence they stole a bunch of fancy swords to match the outfits) n theyre having a blast until the hero in residence , returns to their residence (and with COMPANY) n romeo is absolutely Mortified- caught red-handed showing feelings of an almost human nature, oh my god, this will NOT do- n this whole grand soliluquy of shame and excuses and apologies grabs the steering wheel of his tongue but he cant even spit a single syllable out bc jesse and lukas almost immediately dip leaving romeo panicking for a second before they come back with their inventories FULL of cute outfits, including a billion skirts and dresses, some of them are even enchanted so theyre like. super shiny or constantly flowing or things like that.
this actually ends up spiralling into a town-wide... not quite fashion show bc there's no runway or anything, everyone just shows up in their cutest/coolest outfits .. fashion convention?? Anyway several people come up to him and compliment him on his outfit casually before continuing along, not recognizing him not only bc of how hes done his hair and makeup n what hes wearing but he just seems... so happy (he might be wearing something on his head? like a headpiece or hat or something? but also maybe not hmm)- whoever this is, he's not hunched over like he's got several centuries' worth of sins crawling on his back he’s not trying to shrink and make small a human-shaped apology for the simple fact of his existence not dragging his feet like hes ready for, dreading, a hundred mile trek through the desert repenting hes just. hes literally just Vibing
anyway he's mostly been silent or just providing very quiet "thank you"s but when it turns out that some people showed up ready to play music and there's a song that he knows he literally cant help but start jamming out its the GOod Stim everyones a-dancing and a-jiving and some people start to sing and so of course he does too (the healing power of dancing and singing in cute outfits.... unfathomable) but. ppl recognize his voice
and after a few seconds he notices how quiet it's gotten all of a sudden n everyones looking at him like "oh shit thats the admin" and honestly his heart breaks. visibly
but
then someone starts singing, so quiet it takes a moment for him to hear over the sound of an encroaching panic attack (oh god he has airpods in), but when he looks over theyre smiling - theyre smiling at hiM???? AND IT DOESNT EVEN LOOK MEAN??- and doing this very simple step, that he catches onto just as easily as he matches their singing (its a fairly common little tune n dance)
theyre like standing like a good few meters away but as they take turns with lines in the song they slowly inch closer
and he thinks hes starting to recognize the dance that the steps theyre doing is from but at the part in the song thats coming up ur supposed to allemande left and even tho theyre like, less than a meter away now literally no one has really wanted to get close to him, let alone actually touch him, so hes totally expecting them to be like 'psych' and humiliate him in front of the entire crowd-
BUT THEN THEY ACTUALLY GO FOR IT???
he completes the step without even thinking about it n continues onto the next in this state of dull bewilderment where there is but one braincell active in his head and it is just going, in a very tiny voice, "danser?"
- when they linked arms the person briefly seemed surprised that he didn't like, chew their arm off or anything (he had. kind of snapped at people a few times during the past few weeks), but then their shock turned into a wide smile and they sort of- nodded? at someone over his shoulder like 'come and join us, it doesn't look like he's going to kill me after all you guys can put the eulogy writing on hold'
what rly makes his heart do the confused and hopeful conga is that this isnt even anyone romeo knows, its a total stranger. or- like- he saw them while he was pretending to be jesse he just didnt care to get to know them beyond ‘name and gimmick’- its not even someone who has any reason to think he'd be cool to befriend its literally jsut someone taking a chance on him (tkae a chance take a chance take a chance take a cha)
afterwards hes like "i should thank jesse for putting you up to that, it was fun" and theyre like "what? jesse didn't "put me up to" anything, dude, you just looked super choked. * something something surfer lingo who would i be if i just left someone to feel bad when they could be having fun dancing you know?*"
he H
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realmzenith · 7 years ago
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elaina ! :)
lays down, mai ily. anyways?? someone pls save elaina she Needs help
What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?fairly long?? but not super long it’d make her anxious. maybe twenty minutes. it’d be a different story if it was a life or death thing tho obv
How easy is it for your character to laugh?difficult. from one to ten w one being v easily she’s like a 7. but for full uninhibited laughter it’s a solid 9. she mostly smiles and when she does laugh it’s at the dumbest things
How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)she’ll lurk on instagram or think which are honestly both bad ideas for her bc instagram makes her depressed bc her social life sux and thinking makes her depressed bc she’s pessimistic and tends to overthink EVERYTHINg. however sometimes she’ll be smart abt it and read a book or look at plant pics or space which will more often than not successfully allow her to relax and get some shut eye
How easy is it to earn their trust?HM not too difficult prbly a 3 if ur nice to her and ur not a complete idiot- ok well. just if ur nice to her bc she literally falls in love w josie an idiot in her storyline
How easy is it to earn their mistrust?moderately difficult she has a hard time accepting that the ppl she trusts are capable of wronging her and usually assumes it was smth she did. she’s kind of an idiot like that so yk :) she’s prbly a 6 on that one? if we’re also accounting for the ppl she moderately trusts. however if we’re only talking abt the ppl she genuinely completely trusts it’s like an 8. she’s not COMPLETELy stupid but still p stupid abt relationships
Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?rules should be followed. she accepts them as a given and that they will be followed as a given. it’ll srsly throw off her game if someone starts blatantly disobeying the law in front of her even if it is just a nominal thing
What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?she��s not a v emotional person? she does feel deeply but hmm i suppose she is fairly nostalgic. certain melodies played on the guitar would prbly be one of the bigger triggers. her mom used to play and she and her dad would sing like dorks but they?? kind of dont do it anymore and she misses it but she isn’t sure how to ask to do it again. it’s the same w disney movies. they don’t watch them as a fam as much as they used to anymore but they still do on occasion! as for enjoying it she doesn’t rlly like nostalgia?? but she lets herself fall into it frequently
What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?she was constantly told to talk to the other kids. she’s never been v social or good w ppl as she prefers her small group of ppl she knows and is comfortable w plus she’s an only child so she’s always been forced to socialize esp in casual settings
Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?not super frequently. she does say damn bc that’s just the classic xstj swear word, her first she remembers v distinctly. it was “bitch” and completely her older cousin’s fault
What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?she lowkey feels like her entire life is a lie? she’s a smart gal and gets good grades easily. she’s close to the top of her class and is considered one of the smart kids. but she herself is convinced she’s painfully mediocre and despite her other talents and unique personality traits she’s like :) im sorry for lying to u all i actually have zero interesting qualities and am a drag but ofc she never voices that bc lbr insecurity? ugly and she doesn’t want to lose the few friends she does have bc she dumped her fears on everyone else. she is, as i said, a Mess
How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?she almost always pretends she understands but if she doesn’t feel like there’ll be negative consequences to asking for clarification and she’s feeling confident she’ll bluntly ask the other person to clear things up for her esp in a business type setting such as school projects, etc. it’s situational but socially speaking? she’ll pretend until she Dies
How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?ask nico to get it or just struggle for ages to try to get it herself
What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?she likes green and black but thinks she looks p drab in most things. in all actuality she prbly does look sharpest in black but yellow makes her look super cute, brings out a softer side of her. dark green is also flattering on her
What animal do they fear most?hm prbly eels esp electric eels. they freak her out for no particular reason. otherwise, she likes most animals and doesn’t mind most bugs
How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?she does usually think before she speaks. on the extreme she’ll turn over a phrase abt ten times in her mind before even considering speaking it aloud but that’s rare and only in high stress situations. despite the fact that she does think before she speaks she’s very blunt abt most things. lay it out like it is and all. embellishing sentences or softening her statements is smth she rarely does as she finds it inefficient 
What makes their stomach turn?reckless behavior she HATES when ppl do stupid risky crap in front of her she finds it very unnecessary and anxiety inducing
Are they easily embarrassed?oh yes absolutely
What embarrasses them?everything. anything. her existence. ppl flirting w her. her parents. being teased. being incompetent. being singled out for anything. lots of things :)
What is their favorite number?she likes the number 60. no reason in particular it’s just a nice number. cue her friend, nico in the back yelling SIXTY???? MORE LIKE SEXY
If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?oh oof dont talk to her about love it throws her for an existential crisis. hm but if srsly asked this she’d prbly say smth like “familial love is smth we’re rarely allowed to choose. platonic is more logical and circumstantial, and romantic is a combination of the two in the sense that it’s ur heart’s choice to begin and ur mind’s to continue.”
Why do they get up in the morning? society dictates that in order for an individual to contribute meaningfully to the world, you must get up by 7 am and do whatever lot’s been handed to you. thus she, as a good functioning member of society, gets up in the mornings and drives to school day in and day out as fate has dictated her duty to be
How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? erratic. she’ll act strangely and become more distant. if it continues for long enough she’ll eventually snap at whoever’s nearest and asking what’s up w her
How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)? it makes her sad tbh sldkfjlkj she’s like welp.. this is the lot i’ve been given if i don’t accept it that’s my problem. then she keeps her head up and carries on
Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom? she prefers not to talk abt sex. she’d be v confused if someone brought up the topic of sex casually tho she isn’t SUPER squeamish abt discussing it it’s just?? unprofessional so why would u? ofc w her s/o she would be more than willing to discuss it in order to smooth out questions or misunderstandings before yk. actually. doing the sex
What are their thoughts on marriage? marriage to her is one of the pillars of society, and while she respects people who don’t want to get married, for herself she views it a checkbox on her list of things she needs to do before she dies. it’s?? like she sort of has a timeline and marriage is on the list of things that need to happen sometime in her twenties. she believes marriage should be a mutually beneficial union based on love and respect and believes that along w family units it’s a wonderful invention. however, despite all of this she kind of doubts she’ll ever get married bc she’s like who would date me lbr here :) and while simultaneously seeking after marriage she’s resigned herself to becoming an eventual crazy old cat lady
What is their preferred mode of transportation? she prefers bullet trains. efficient, usually comfortable, she doesn’t have to drive- what more could you want? she’s also fond of walking if a place is close by. helps her chill
What causes them to feel dread? the feeling that a relationship is falling apart and the divide between herself and the other person is growing. the little things like not waiting for the other person after class or “forgetting” to mention another thing about their day- the small things that point to a relationship breaking down. if there’s one thing she hates more than unnecessary conflict and having to just end things then and there it’s watching things slowly fall apart. that is extremely dread inducing in her opinion
Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? if u asked her? she’d say she prefers the truth. in reality? she prefers the lie. she internalizes things and oftentimes “unpleasant truths” can weigh her down for ages. frequently enough to note, she’ll allow herself to continue in ignorance rather than accept the reality of the truth which she’ll sort of know she’s doing but just push to the back of her mind in order to avoid the panic that comes with actually confronting the problem. ignorance is bliss and all. nevertheless, in the long run and in hindsight, she prefers the truth as ripping off the bandaid proves easier than pulling out misplaced stitches one by one
Do they usually live up to their own ideals? she doesn’t come close. she has very lofty ideals to which she holds both herself and others around her. she wants to be someone who’s looked up to as strong. she values efficiency, honesty, reliability and genuinely good motives as well as charisma, passion and confidence. she’s doing alright with the first few but the last three are debatable. she’s passionate about v select things and her confidence levels looks like a heartrate monitor
Who do they most regret meeting? herself. she regrets gaining sentience
Who are they the most glad to have met? josie ;) but nico and ale are close seconds
Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? nope what’s a Conversation? what’s a Joke? she doesnt know them :)
Could they be considered lazy? that’s a no. she works extremely hard and nearly always carries through. it’s partially her nature and partially a way for her to “make up” for her perceived lack of talents
How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? extremely difficult but w time she eventually can esp when given the right type of support
How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? that’s. a hard one. she IS technically supportive but that’s only when she recognizes how much the thing means to the other person and she’s honestly rlly bad at reading these kinds of situations, so it’s rare that she actually does. she’ll kinda be like wtf but if she doesn’t recognize the other person is genuinely excited and invested in the thing she’ll do her best to give her own brand of awkward support 
Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?she’ll pursue a romantic interest if enough proof that it’s plausible is given but it’s rare that she gets enough “proof” for this to happen. generally speaking, she kind of pushes her desire for romance down. she’ll worry abt it later or at least until josie shows up eyes emoji
Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)? not rlly? she’ll just go thru things multiple times she’s not the most innovative person when it comes to things like this. route memorization is her go to 
What memory do they revisit the most often?;) depends on where in the storyline we’re talking but post story defo the time when she and josie went hiking w some of their other friends and when they reached the summit of the mountain the clouds were beneath the peak n completely coating the sky. it looked like a carpet of clouds, like another world and they shared a bit of a Moment. the little things are what elaina rlly cherishes
How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?difficult she’s a bit of a critical person. she’s also not the most tactful when it comes to emotional intelligence related situations so ppl will likely find out she does see those flaws in them if they stick around long enough
How sensitive are they to their own flaws?not SO much but she does take things to heart. she’s sort of?? accepted her perceived mediocrity and general dullness but she’s in no way ceasing to attempt to change other things abt herself. so she’ll seemingly take criticisms in stride but they’ll stick w her when she’s Overthinking
How do they feel about children? kids are? good? she likes kids. as for having them, she’s considered it some and she thinks she might like to. at the same time, she also thinks she’d make a terrible parent- too harsh, bad w comfort, easily stressed. in all reality, she’d be better than most ppl as one esp after gaining a bit of confidence
How badly do they want to reach their end goal? rn the goal is graduating and she wants that fairly badly but she doesn’t particularly doubt her ability to achieve it. after that, it’s getting a good job which she also doesn’t overtly doubt as a certainty so yes she does want it but it’s not?? SUPEr concerning except when she begins to doubt her abilities and if she’ll ever feel like her life is fulfilling 
If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so? she’s lesbian. she’d say it means she’s attracted to women 
QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS
A) Why are you excited about this character?baby. she’s gonna find loveB) What inspired you to create them?love, simon! i wanted to write a cute lesbian high school romance so thus josie and elaina were bornC) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?nope!D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?nope again! she used to be full korean but now she’s half korean and half scandinavian! i think she used to be taller too she’s 5′5″ nowE) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?there are some aspects of each other that would get on the other’s nerves. like i dont think she’d appreciate the wonky outbursts i sometimes have and i’d get annoyed by her lack of social tact/annoyance at the world even tho i lowkey share those traits but otherwise i think we’d get along p well! i think i’d find her cute and i think she’d like my perceived confidence. we share a similar rationality as wellF) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?empathy she’s a big mood tbh and also i want her to be happy G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?her lack of emotional intelligence. while i like blunt and logic oriented ppl it’d get slightly frustrating after a while to be around someone who’s a lil oblivious to social/emotional cues even if that’s a moodH) What trait do you admire most?her humble diligence. i have to complain twice as much as her to get half the things she gets done doneI) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?i think she’d ALSO do great in a sci fi universe. ha maybe i need to give these kids a sci fi au verseJ) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?not rlly no!
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tcntrums · 7 years ago
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hello angels ! i’m scotty n i love having fun n exchanging memes n THIS ? is going to be a mess... i know it. anyways if u survive this rush of an intro post, give it a like or im me if you’d want to plot mayhaps ? i’m about to head out for a few hours, but i’ll be checkin’ in mobile or i’ll be around later to give u my full attention ! good luck n... i love u...
narcisa (who mostly goes by cici but if u dont do nicknames then narcisa is cool too) is ofc from a wealthy family. her parents own a whole bunch of resorts n hotels all over the world but prefer to stay where they are for the upper east #lifestyle. they’ve always been a very close n loving family n cici is definitely a warm n loving person as a result of their nurturing, but that doesn’t mean the expectations weren’t high n she’s also the result of that.
her parents (tho already born lucky) were both very successful very young and cici has always been like yep ! that’s going to be me ! her whole life, she’s always done the most to be the best at everything. it was never about showing other people up either ? it was more like “oh well if i can stay at the top of the class surely that means whatever i do next is going to be an instant success” bc she’d never actually witnessed failure of any kind in her life, it was always like a boogeyman of sorts as opposed to something that happens every now n then. she’s never done anything underhand to guarantee her success tho, she's always just been very dedicated n poured her heart and soul into everything she’s ever attempted. if u don’t get it yet, she has to be a standout. failure is 1000000% not an option... like relacks...
up until abt six months ago, she was studying strategic communication at columbia and she really did love it until she ruined it for herself by being too all work and no play about everything. she was consistently top or v near the top of her class and spent all her free time volunteering n networking. so here we are... she’s stressed trying to be perfect n has not released any of it over abt a year ? she stumbles once during a presentation, hears someone in the back laugh (even tho it probably had nothing to do with her) and ? she snaps. this wasn’t the first time smth like this has happened as a result of all the pent up stress n anxiety but it was the worst. she’s actually wailing and throwing things, a chair makes it through a window n there’s even a rumor (just a rumor tho) that she tried to stab herself in the neck with a pen UMMMM
her parents forced her on a three month vacation while they tried to clean up the mess but ? they really could not. the school ‘asked’ that she not return bc yk... she got pretty dangerous at the end there and no one wanted to take her on. when she came back all bright eyed n bushy tailed they just couldn’t handle letting her down (or obviously risking another breakdown) so they paid a celebrity pr company to take her on as an intern. she knows her father’s connections landed her the position, but she’s programmed herself to ignore that. she aced the interview and she works hard. she’s the perfect employee, but her reputation is still a mess so her father is actually... paying her boss a whole lot to mentor her. cici doesn’t know this n if she did ? naught good.
anyway ! that’s where her life is at now so let’s look at her personality... these will be much shorter n sweeter i promise !
like i said... she’s very warm and loving. she’d be the mom friend if she wasn’t so needy herself. 
obviously she’s constantly taking on a lot and getting herself worked up, she bottles this up completely and handles it herself for v long periods of time before throwing a mcfreakin’ tantrum. so far nothing compares to the columbia one tho... she normally just cries and tells u about all her problems in a very dramatic fashion for an entire weekend before getting up on monday n moving on as if it never even happened.
is really good at pretending things don’t exist. like if she seems unbothered by the jokes ppl make about her hulk performance it’s bc she fully works hard to pretend that it never happened. she’s not crazy, ur crazy. as long as she’s not having a bad day, she’ll tune it out and go about her business.
doesn’t really do or get jokes. like if u see any kind of sense of humor present in cici ? congrats ig she’s probably in love with u.
is a hopeless romantic unfortunately. if she’d had enough time to get her heart broken over the last few years, it probably would have been crushed twelve times over bc that’s the kind of person she is.
is cool and competent even tho she is so sensitive. she’s v dedicated n loyal... talented... maybe not socially smart but still very intelligent.
intense. still refuses to take a break. needs a massage. lighten up, damn !
plays to win
ok i have a few v basic ideas for connections n plots n such so if ur interested in any of them lmk pls n thank u love u so much !
she needs a best friend ? preferably someone who would balance her out. yk someone who is more just about having a good time ? they provide cici w a little fun and she provides them w a little structure. she’s an intensely loyal friend and as hard as she goes with work, her best pal would always be her #1 priority.
ok inspired by the iconic let u b by the iconic cub sport ? this is romantic but in a messy way so hold on “we can’t stop kissing other people and you don’t care for me//i wanna set you free but i just can’t let you be” they're not exactly friends with benefits bc there’s nothing really friendly about them ? idk maybe they did have a normal exclusive relationship years ago but for a whole list of reasons it didn’t work out and it never works out but they keep accidentally attempting to give it another shot. they’re just a bad habit basically ? it’s just angst ? 
ok listen just ppl she’s romantically interested in. it doesn’t have to be mutual bc she’s probably got a crush on everyone but someone who maybe makes her actually giddy so like ? for once she’s having a laugh n attempting to make jokes and being the first one to reach out. it’s p innocent n rlly just flirty bc of recent dramas she’s probably not going to make any real moves any time soon.
exes my dudes bc she’s probably attempted to date everyone. exes turned friends, exes on bad terms, exes w lingering feelings, idc !
enemies bc she’s intense. if you don’t get along for any reason, she makes it everyone’s business. again, she’s probably not going to do anything malicious or underhand but she’s very much the “i don’t want to be in the same room with them ever . i would rather die” type like again relacks it buddy !
friends . buddies . pals . she needs them !
i’m always down to brainstorm !  Kiss kiss... !
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