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Art by Sarah Kiser (source)

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Yule Herbs 🌿

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Tonight is the longest night of the year in the Northern hemisphere and shortest night in the southern hemisphere, happy solstice everyone!

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This image shows the changing arcs of the sun throughout the year. The smallest arc at the bottom marks the winter solstice, and the largest one at the top the summer solstice. The band in the middle is the 'equinox'.

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My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.

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litany for the animals who run from me by Hieu Minh Nguyen

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there's an extremely niche plot in romance fiction wherein our invariably heterosexual leads fall in love after a night of passion leads to an unplanned pregnancy and they're now bound together by an impending child. I cast no judgment on anyone who enjoys this, but since I'm an evil gay and this is my personal nightmare scenario I want to see a zany romance novel premised on the opposite resolution: a couple falls in love while on a whirlwind roadtrip to obtain a legal abortion

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"Sorry I have a boyfriend" is of course a time-tested and reasonably reliable no-fault rejection strategy. But what many tacticians may not realize is it has an even more powerful counterpart, the preemptive boyfriend name-drop. This is when a conversation with a stranger veers into high-alert territory and you make up a guy named Raphael (my boyfriend) who you mention due to his extremely-relevant interest in the current topic of conversation.

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Call now to recieve help with the inability to make phone calls!

Fill out this forum to receive assistance with your difficulty filling out forms

Come on down to our center thats two hours away so we can give assistance with your inability to walk or drive

There's help out there! You're just not trying hard enough!

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You ever been in a state where you physically have no energy, but you're bored and socially understimulated so you kind of wish you could just invite people to come over like this:

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Thanks for the advice, Mr FB of I! That's the same thing my very good friend the Nigerian prince told me, too, so our MUST be true!

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bro...what we could have had..

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> kids party going on next door to where I'm chilling for my break. a lot of good-natured screaming typical of the age range, seems to be 6-8

> minding my own business but kids eventually spill over to where I am and they're chatting about the cake and cookies and sweets

> one kid rolls her eyes and says to me "they're acting crazy because they had cake"

> I ask "is there cake left?"

> "yeah"

> "I'll give you a dollar if you steal me slice of cake"

> takes off like a fucking rocket and 60 seconds later I have a slice of melting ice cream cake all to myself

> give her the dollar as promised

> another kid offers to bring me a cookie for a dollar

> ok sure kid

> those two kids are going feral over a single dollar bill each

> the children yearn for the mines fetch quests

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despite what popular opinion may lead you to believe, some rocks actually do have scientifically-proven auras! Unfortunately, those rocks are uranium and the aura is cancer.