#i thought i was on the autism spectrum for a long time

[s0ckh3adstudios]

Hey random but if there's anything I'm ever somehow being disrespectful about or saying incorrectly or doing wrong things, PLEASE let me know because chances are I have absolutely no idea. Because the last thing I want to do is something disrespectful or offensive

[drchucktingle]

autistic expression in a neurotypical art gallery

this morning i thought i would talk about AUTHOR VOICE specifically when it comes to AUTISM. as autistic author i have learned to turn the dial up and down when writing characters. rose from CAMP DAMASCUS is basically exactly where i rest on spectrum and this shows in a few ways

in roses internal monolog you will see that she uses phrases like ‘my friend’ to talk about folks where neurotypical buckaroos might just use first name. or with her parents she will think of them in FIRST NAME instead of ‘mom’ or 'dad’. this is way many autistic buds THINK

to explain this trot I will say it is not a way of disrespect or anything like that, it is simply that these terms are TECHNICALLY all correct and interchangeable. socially, autistic buds often learn to mask by pinpointing WHEN to use these words that logically the same to us.

in CAMP DAMASCUS i left these things in to create character, but if you go back in my writing you will see it. in TINGLERS this is because they are honest in PUNK ROCK way. unfiltered expressions. in earlier novels its admittedly just because i did not realize it was unusual yet

point is, ROSES internal dialog in camp damascus is neurodivergent and i CHOSE not to change her thought process in this way, because we are BOTH autistic. this can be a risk because some neurotypical buckaroos will read it and just think ‘what a strange way. this is bad writing’

camp damascus reviews are actually very good it is a very well received book by any measure, but you will see some folks kind of making fun of these traits (i do not think they would do this if they knew it was authentic autistic way BUT we cannot educate EVERYONE on this trot)

POINT IS i am now faced with an artistic choice in later books. do i write with my AUTISTIC voice even though some neurotypical readers find it awkward? in technical sense some readers WILL think each book is better if i eliminate my autistic tendencies in later edits

my advice is this: character voice IS SO IMPORTANT, but a big part of writing is finding the place between YOUR voice and your CHARACTER voice where both are authentically existing in some way. like acting, you are always bringing something of yourself even when you 'disappear'

when writing BURY YOUR GAYS i did not plan to make misha on the spectrum, but misha is part of me and i am on the spectrum. what i have realized over time is that ALL OF MY CHARACTERS will have these traits in some way because i wrote them, and i will never disappear completely

so when edits came for BURY YOUR GAYS and misha, i took that dial and i turned it farther towards neurotypical than i did with rose, BUT I DID NOT TURN IT OFF COMPLETELY. in literal sense, i left some of those ‘my friends’, because i will always bring MY VOICE to my art as well

i am proud of being on the spectrum. while my voice may not hit every convention of ‘good writing’ it is authentically ‘MY writing’ and i think that is more important than any outside checklist for ‘correct literary expression’. and guess what THE RESULTS ARE IN, MY BOOKS DO WELL

so if you are an artist getting feedback or reviews, consider which parts you can LEARN FROM and grow and change, and which parts are just AUTHENTICALLY YOU. because while your honesty may defy conventions and seem unusual to some folks, IT IS OFTEN WHAT MAKES YOUR ART SING

feel free to turn that dial marked 'YOUR TRUE VOICE' up and down when it makes sense. i do this all the time. but i have long since decided i will never turn that dial OFF completely. your voice is your POWER buckaroo, dont be afraid to sing with it

[patricia-taxxon]

i had a similar revelatory moment about "armchair diagnosing." for so long i felt like my autistic headcanons of real life people were shameful dirty secrets that showed what a creepy loser i was, but it's literally normal. it's normal for me to note the way she talks for so long about niche subjects, her tone of voice that her commenters say is deadpan but sounds full of life to me, her specific un-animated delivery of sarcasm, the trace few times that she spoke about sensory issues & people on the autism spectrum like she had stake in the idea, and to see part of myself in her. there are so many completely fucking normal thoughts that are made 100x more dirty and violating when trans women do it, and im not immune to that bias either when directed at myself.

[haute-pockette]

The Doctor being disabled.

Every incarnation sitting somewhere on the autism spectrum. Their stims and behaviors vary between incarnations.

First doctor with alexithymia. On Gallifrey it was fine, ignored. A "superior race" that prided itself in observation without interference doesn't put too much stalk in compassion. But meeting humans up close with Barbara and Ian started him down a path of learning to put words to his own feelings as well as others.

As his body aged he also developed arthritis. The cane was for mobility as much as it was for style. He learned the hard way that aspirin is not Gallifreyan friendly (he survived the small dose, but it scared the hell out of Susan).

Two with lots of physical stims. All his gestures and wringing his hands, grabbing onto companions.

Dyspraxic Two. Chicken scratch handwriting, stumbling over his words and his feet. He really leans into tactile sensations whether it's the texture of his clothes or holding onto a companion, it was always grounding for him.

Third tended to shut down more than his first two since the constant stress and frustration of exile had him already wound pretty tight. He'll lock himself in the lab and just put himself on autopilot until he recharges enough to deal with whatever shenanigans are happening.

Three has tinnitus that of various sounds including almost like the tardis materialization sound. He often has to look up to check if the Master is showing up to bother him or not.

Four has ADHD alongside with autism. He struggles with constantly running from responsibility and wanting to have some sense of control of situations.

It's one of those snowballs of procrastination causing anxiety which causes him to procrastinate further. Unless it's urgently life threatening, his stress response is freeze.

Five masks and suppresses his emotions in an attempt to blend with neurotypicals more since he's self-conscious of his previous "eccentricity" as Four. It causes a lot of strain between him and Tegan after Earthshock.

Peripheral neuropathy causing muscle weakness in his legs cause of the difficult regeneration. Look how much he falls over and leans on the tardis console, he can't stand straight for long periods of time without aids. Usually has braces, but will use a cane around the tardis (would use the wheelchair but it's dead in the Castrovalva river).

Six gets overstimulated easier than some, especially by noises and textures. Usually that with things not going accordingly tends to set off meltdowns. Ever since he hurt Peri he turns his energy on himself instead.

Bipolar Six. He tends to handle mania better than depression, at least when he has too much energy he knows he can spend it and try to get it out. He'll usually park the tardis somewhere his companion can enjoy and shut himself away in the cloister room or zero room when at the worst of his lows.

Also type 1 diabetic six, regenerating from poison fucked with his metabolism. He is careful to take care of his blood sugar, but he's terrible at remembering to stay hydrated. That's why Mel is always shoving carrot juice at him.

Seven has ADD (yes I know it's technically "ADHD of the predominantly inattentive type" but ADD is easier). ADD as in he's always in his own head, always five points ahead of the conversation. His train of thought is incomprehensible to most, but there is a string of logic to it.

Dyspraxic Seven with an abnormal gait and stance. Bad posture makes him look shorter than he is. Only he can read his own handwriting, which he insists is not as bad as it is.

[zethd]

to the lovely audhd people on tumblr; is it normal to have a 2+ year long “hyperfixation” on something or is this just undiagnosed and heavily masked autism??

this isn’t the first time i’ve thought that i might be on the spectrum.

and if you don’t mind telling me what made you realize you had autism/ or things that you’d look back on and go “oh yeah that makes so much more sense now”

[cryptidnamedhabit]

So since im kinda autistic about the new wolverine and deadpool movie im just gonna post some poolverine/deadclaws headcanons to help keep myself sane :]

Deadpool and Wolverine spoilers under the cut

Also Logan is autistic because I said so

Wade will drink whatever in his coffee in the morning, he doesn't care, meanwhile logan needs a ridiculous amount of things in his morning coffee for it to be drinkable to him

Logan is too much of a wuss puss to admit it though and just didn't drink coffee for a long time

Then, one day, out of the blue, Wade came home with two coffees, one for himself and one for logan (and a puppicino for mary puppins ofc)

Logan refused at first and only agreed to try it to get Wade to stop whining

Needless to say, he was genuinely surprised (and ever-so-slightly creeped out) that Wade knew what he liked in his coffee without telling him

"Apparently, oldie wolvie liked his coffee like that." Wade told him

Wade might've fallen first, but logan fell harder

He was HARD on the denial train

At first he didn't know why or what he was feeling whenever he was around Wade

Feeling jealous whenever Wade gives his attention to someone else? Just annoyed that the other person doesn't express the same "disgust" he has for Wade

Feeling mad when someone finally expresses their "disgust" towards deadpool? That's just because he wasn't that annoying that day and didn't deserve mean (but true) things said about him

Just woke up screaming from a nightmare and needs to hug Wade to feel grounded again because the time ripper killed him in his dreams? He just allows it because mary puppins wasn't quick enough to do it

The feeling of butterflies in his stomach whenever Wade looks at him with nothing but adoration and love in his eyes? Probably just something off in the food he ate earlier that day

Feeling the urge to grab Wade by his face and kiss him while whispering sweet nothings until the universe explodes? Just an intrusive thought or two

It isn't until he's on some random walk with mary puppins that he finally realizes that he just might have a crush on deadpool

He pretty much goes through the seven stages of grief once he realizes

It became more difficult to shove his feelings down his throat whenever he was around Wade after that

It wasn't until another one of their "family game nights" that Negasonic pulled Logan aside to talk to him

"When will you two just make it official already?" "What the hell are you talking about?" "About you and Wade, that's what. You don't seriously think that nobody in this building can see you two clearly have a thing for each other, right?" "Still don't know what you're talking about" "What are you on right now?" "The autism spectrum."

Negasonic gave up trying to talk to Logan about Wade after that

After all of that was said and done, it wouldn’t be until one of Wade's random teasings that finally made Logan snap

"God peanut, you wanna kiss me sooo bad it makes you look stupid~"

That was it.

Logan closed the distance between himself and Wade, grabbed his face, and kissed him passionately before he pulled away

"Hhholy fucking hell peanut, how long were you saving that for?" "You've got no idea bub"

"Does this mean I can finally use the blowjob handles on your mask?"

Meanwhile Althea shouts "I CAN HEAR YOU MOTHERFUCKERS CLEAR AS DAY!"

Anyway, I think I might make a part 2 to this post, but idk

[bluebellowl]

I'm not really good at words but I wanted to say that your AU is such a good way to see Ingo and Emmet as animatronics/robots! I've been in pkmn fandom for such a long time and it always seemed a little bit unfair to see people assumed them, the manga versions especially, as such, as if autism spectrum can't be the reason why they act like that + some dehumanised them by that!... so seeing your AU and your art in general really warms my heart because it shows the difference in being a neurodivergent person and being an artificial intelligence with a personality!

in other words, you and your works are amazing and it's a pleasure to look at! always so thoughtful and interesting!! :D

As I see it everyone has a different interpretation of the twins and it's just a matter of finding the one that works for you.

In my fnaf crossover/AU I like to kinda crank up their spectrum-like traits to 100 and interpret their mannerisms as them having gotten half of the system update of one robot bc FazEnt is cutting costs. So Emmet gets to have fluent movement, while Ingo gets to have natural-sounding speaking patterns. But then since each only has half an update, Emmet still speaks with a bad AI voice, and Ingo moves stiffly and robotically. I tried to show that in the latest piece where they finally get to be whole again

Thank you so much!! I'm always happy to hear you guys appreciate what I do uwu

[macgyvermedical]

Schizophrenia

Hi all, I know I've been a little absent as of late. The reason for that, as you may know if you've been reading my personal posts, is that I got diagnosed with schizophrenia.

Because this blog is ostensibly about medical things, I figured I would come back to that by talking a little bit about schizospec illnesses. What they are, what they're not, and what you need to know if you're writing a character with something on the schizophrenia spectrum.

Schizophrenia is a change in perception and thought that manifests in 3 main ways. The first way is what everyone tends to think of, which is hallucinations and delusions. These are called positive symptoms.

To have hallucinations means you experience things in the world that other people don't. For example, hearing voices (which can be external, as though the person is actually hearing them, or internal, where the voices are coming from inside the person's head, but the person can't control them) is a common hallucination for people with schizospec illnesses. Hallucinations can also be seeing, smelling, or feeling things that others can't.

Delusions are fixed false beliefs. Such as, believing that someone is out to hurt you or that someone is trying to send you a secret message via television, or that other people can read your thoughts, or that you're someone who is particularly important (a head of state, Jesus, or a superhero, for instance). Even when these beliefs are confronted with facts, the person still holds the belief, often able to explain away the facts as not applying to their situation. Some people can know that a delusion is false (or that people would think they were crazy if they said it out loud) and still believe that it's true at the same time.

The next type of symptoms are what are called negative symptoms. This is where it is difficult to think of things, speak coherently, socialize, or express emotions. The person might have what is called a "flat" affect, or where they don't display emotion on their face naturally. They may also experience something called catatonia, where they are conscious but unable to respond to the outside world. Someone who is experiencing catatonia is often hallucinating severely at the same time.

The last type of symptoms are called cognitive. These are symptoms that make critical thinking, decision making, and problem solving difficult. This might be that they're constantly distracted by hallucinations, but it can also just be that the person has trouble making good decisions for themself.

Now, just like autism is a spectrum, schizophrenia is a spectrum as well. In addition to traditional schizophrenia, there are milder forms (often called schizotypal personality disorders), and a combination of schizophrenia and a mood disorder (depression or bipolar disorder most commonly) called schizoaffective disorder.

The "severity" is also different for different people. Some people are able to lead nearly normal lives with the occasional hallucination or be able to work through delusions with skills gained from counseling, even if they don't take medication. Some are well controlled on medication and as long as they take it, they can keep a job and have a nearly normal family and social life. Some may be moderately well controlled on medication, and be able to work part time, but symptoms and/or side effects from the medication make it difficult to work full time or have a normal social life.

Still others may be unable to work due to symptoms or side effects from medication, or the amount of time and effort it takes to manage symptoms or side effects makes having time for a job or social life difficult. Still others may need to live in assisted living or a group home, where someone else is managing food and medications for them, because of the amount of time, effort, and skill necessary to manage the schizophrenia is so great.

Schizophrenia is usually treated with a combination of counseling and medication, just like a lot of mental illnesses. A person with schizophrenia may also need the occasional inpatient stay to more emergently change medications if they get a flair up and are suddenly unable to take care of themselves (or may be a danger to themselves or others) due to severe symptoms.

The medications usually used to treat schizophrenia are first and second-generation antipsychotics. First generation antipsychotics came out in the 1950s and were the mainstay of treatment for a long time. These are often very good at treating positive symptoms, but cause tiredness and if taken at high doses for a long time a movement disorder called tardive diskinesia.

Second generation antipsychotics came out in the 1990's through today, and tend to cause a lot less sedation (my experience is they actually gave me energy) but often cause weight gain and metabolic syndromes like diabetes (though taking them concurrently with metformin tends to reduce this risk).

It's kind of a pick your poison situation.

Also, antipsychotics (especially second generation ones) tend not to completely take away symptoms. They instead make them easier to manage. Usually it is through a combination of therapy like cognitive behavioral therapy for psychosis (CBTp) and a medication or two that symptoms are well managed.

Social support is often necessary too. This can be help with finding housing and health insurance, but it can also be facilitated social events, group therapy, or support groups. Since a lot of people with schizophrenia have trouble making friends in the wild, these can be very helpful in building social and emotional skills safely.

I hope this gave you a good overview of what schizophrenia spectrum illnesses are like. If you have any questions feel free to send them my way!

[aydien677]

OM boys dealing with an Mc that has Autism/Adhd and stims

AN; so I have Adhd and high functioning autism so this a little self indulgent

Mc was just sitting in class when they started tapping their foot, then clicking their pen, and they quickly started looking annoyed as they rested their head in their free hand. The others were in class with them and soon saw Mc’s strange behavior wondering what brought this on.

His initial reaction was “Which one of my brothers ticked them off this time”

Mc definitely had to explain what stimming was

Lucifer figured out accommodations fairly quickly because of Leviathan having autism 

He would probably enjoy being in the quiet rooms himself for testing and whatnot

He notices that his some of his brothers *cough* Leviathan and Mammon *cough* also stim

He definitely noticed that he stims too but won’t admit it.

Expect one thousand and one questions after class that are too fast to process 

After explaining Mammon starts overreacting like usual 

“Humans have stimulation problems? Wait.. what does stimulation mean?”

He definitely finds that he stims too

He definitely forgot about Leviathans autism for a moment there

Already knows what’s going on and subtly passed you one of his fidget toys 

Definitely autistic and knows it

Is  happy that Mc has the same disorder as him even if they’re on different ends of the spectrum

Definitely shares his fidget toys with Mc and shows them the best ones

It took Satan a moment since the first thing he thought was “I wonder what they’re thinking about that made them so mad”

He gets it the moment Mc tells him they have autism and adhd

“Oh, autism, that’s Levi’s thing”

He had to do a bit more research on Adhd to understand that part

Is mostly understanding but sometimes just wonders what the fuck Mc is doing sometimes

Is so confused at first before realizing Mc is doing the same thing Levi does

Asmodeus absolutely buys Mc some fashionable fidget toys that work as keychains

He’ll make sure they always have a fidget toy to match their outfit 

“Oh Mc, this will look so cute with your outfit!”

It takes Beel all of three minutes to figure it out

He’s seen Levi and Mammon stim a lot before and noticed that Lucifer does so too

He may be quiet but that doesn’t mean he’s not paying attention 

He has a spare fidget toy on him that’s usually for when Levi forgets that he’ll let you use

Obviously offers a bite of whatever he was eating 

The food Will actually help because oral stimming is a thing

The man was asleep until Mc started clicking their pen

He is definitely grumpy about it and takes the pen from them

 gives it back when he notices the murderous look in their eye

He looks away and pretends that nothing happened 

Beelzebub later explained to him what happened 

Yet again “Oh, Levi’s thing”

He doesn’t care so long as it doesn’t interfere with his sleep

Doesn’t focus on class anymore as he wants to watch the human doing human things

Barbatos definitely tells Diavolo off for not paying attention.

Diavolo later goes to you asking even more questions than Mammon

He definitely adds accommodations to R.A.D.

If he had the time he’d do some research himself

Already knows and is certainly prepared to accommodate

Might ask a few questions for Diavolo

Keeps some fidget toys on hand just in case

Solomon already knows about autism and figured it out after a while

He’ll try and impress Mc with a little bit of magic to fix their over/understimulation

Definitely uses this to his advantage 

He’ll take Mc’s fidget toys without them knowing and offer them his hand to fidget with

He’ll watch as the brothers get jealous and then let’s Mc play with his hair

[adventuringblind]

(●’◡’●)ﾉ, I'm in loove with your Oscar Piastri x autistic!reader series, it gives really beautiful perspective on navigating relationships while being neurodivergent. I was wondering if you do a imagine/headcannon for Oscar and reader and how they navigate sexual intimacy in particular, like do's and donts, emotions during it stuff like that. If ur not comfortable writing that then it's ok, I just thought it would be interesting ♡

Bedroom Procedures

Oscar Jack Piastri x Reader

Genre: spicy things ahead but not smut

Request: the way I ran to write this... send me more ideas like this please they are my favorite to write!

Summary: Oscar and Reader navigate through intimacy

Warnings: again... spicy things. However there is no real depiction of anything happening!

Notes: aight, so this is again how I navigate because that's what I know. This is not a depiction of how every autistic person is when it comes to being intimate. Remember that autism is a spectrum and everyone is different.

Masterlist

Being intimate with each other actually took a long time

At least longer than what is probably average

And that's in opinion

She wants to have sex with Oscar

It's just that it's difficultt and there are so many different feelings that is gets overwhelming quickly

It doesn't help she's trying to dive straight in whenever they try it

Oscar pays attention however

Her body language is how he can understand her feelings

So he knows exactly what he's doing even if she doesn't get it yet

The next time things get a little heated, Oscar slows them both down

"Why are you stopping? Did I do something wrong?"

"Absolutely not, just thought we would try something different."

In her head, different is strange because there is usually an order to these things, and it should become routine eventually

Oscar has other plans

He starts taking their intimate moments incredibly slow

Introducing her to different sensations and letting her tell him what she likes and doesn't

Soon, he has a comprehensive list of dos and don'ts

Like how sometimes she prefers to keep on a loose shirt because otherwise the skin on skin is to much

Not all the time

He always asks before they do anything if she would like to wear one of his shirts

Or how her biting him is usually a good sign because it means she's happy

(Something she does even when they aren't having sex)

Oral is a grey area for her

Sometimes, she'll suck him off for hours, and others, she gets overwhelmed just thinking about it

Oscar doesn't care, though, because he loves her no matter what she's feeling up to

One thing he was not expecting was for her to be relatively kinky

Experimenting is everything

Hard yes and no things but down to try before deciding

Oscar got a bit experimental after he got a general idea and their bedroom communication was good

Again... communication is a key point

He's always asking questions and reading her body just as she is with him

The fact that it's a vulnerable state and both of them are connecting in a way with emotions that even sex itself can't give is incredibly intimate

They don't even make it there sometimes because the emotional ties are just so deep that they simply spend time memorizing each other

Another thing is vocals

Oscar is usually composed and level-headed

Sex however is completely different

It's where he is able to express himself in ways he couldn't before

Also, listening to his voice is something that helps her know if she's doing okay

She also experiments with her voice

Vocal stimming during sex happens often, and it happens when she is on the edge

Her parroting is endearing ad well

Sometimes Oscar will moan or hum in a way and she will copy

A non-verbal agreement to keep going

Can go for maybe two rounds maximum

Maybe three or four but that's on a good day

Follows a routine of how things go down and there is definitely communication beforehand

Even if both parties are in the heat of the moment, he will not start anything without giving an idea of what will happen

It's like an unwritten rule so that she isn't trying to read the situation and get frustrated with herself if she can't understand what's happening

Clear cut yes and no

There is no maybe

All communication is cut and dry, and there is no beating around the bush

Because of her willingness to touch, but only from those she's allowed, Oscar is a teeny tiny bit possessive

If anyone touches her who she's not comfortable with he won't hesitate to bite her in reciprocation

She bites him, he bites her, it's a pattern they keep going because he knows its her love language

Also, it creates some fun on other places

Really the two are very good at setting boundaries and communicating

It makes things fun for both of them and there is never any feelings hurt

[teenytinytippy]

Some cute Hypmic headcanons I thought of at 3 A.M

(Spoilers ahead for some characters!!!)

Ichiro

Used to kiss his younger bros goodnight when they were little kids. Now he does it now and then when he thinks they're asleep (Sabs caught him in the act, though).

King of Bisexuality.

Jiro

Had a small crush on a tomboy he met at the orphanage. They used to play football together. One day, she got adopted, and he never saw her again.

Saburo

Has a little music box given to him by his mother when he was a baby. It's the only clear memory he has of her, so he holds it dear. It's also the source of his fondness for classical music. Nobody knows where he hides it, though.

Samatoki

Used to do Nemu's hair after their mother passed. As a result of this, he's very good at styling hair.

Also used to sing to his sister, mostly to calm her down during his father's violent outbursts. He sometimes hums to himself while thinking of her.

Jyuto

Had a gay awakening when he was a teenager. An upperclassman approached him so cunningly and lifted his chin with his hand while questioning him about something, similar to how Jyuto questions guys now. He still thinks about that boy from time to time.

Rio

Went to the U.S. when he was 3 years old and stayed there with his father's family for three years. His father is Irish-American.

Ramuda

He's intersex, as are most of the clones created after him. Some of them, however, appeared to be fully male.

Likes collecting fashion dolls from time to time, and has four custom ones: one of each Fling Posse member and another of the former owner of Empty Candy, Hanabi Maijou.

Has convinced his teammates to cuddle with him in bed.

Gentaro

Is on the Autism spectrum while his twin brother is not.

Is interested in FlingPoly fanfiction.

Ramuda gave him a boudoir doll as a present once.

Dice

Got a nosebleed after seeing Ramuda in a peculiarly cute outfit. The image stayed in his head for quite a long time. (Inspired by what Dice's new stage actor said in the cross talk, after seeing Ramuda's stage actor in costume for the first time)

He sometimes purrs unvoluntarily. Gentaro and Ramuda tease him for it.

Jakurai

Has sung Yotsutsuji to sleep on some occasions. He also did that to Hifumi and Doppo one night.

He was very popular with the girls back in the day, and word got out that he had a huge crush on someone. Hitoya even teased him for it. Little did he know that Jakurai's crush was Hitoya himself.

Hifumi

Was very effeminate growing up. He especially liked to play with his sister's necklaces and other jewelry.

Doppo

Cried when Jakurai sang them to sleep that one night.

He stims by drawing circles on the floor with his finger, something he has done since pre-school when he was alone. When he's angry or frustrated, he does it with his middle finger.

Sasara

Had a funny, contagious laugh when he was a baby or so his mother would say. Everyone who heard him in passing would smile or laugh as well. Maybe he was a comedian from the very start, after all.

Rosho

Learned to talk before he learned to walk and could say very complicated words and phrases for a toddler.

Rei

He can whine his hips pretty well.

Ichiro is the one who resembles him the most in his youth.

Sometimes, he sees himself and his wife/baby mama in Rosho and Sasara. He would never admit that to them, though.

Kuko

Can dabke and taught his teammates and also Ichiro how to dabke.

In the rare times when he feels like crying, he either meditates alone or next to someone he absolutely trusts, which, as of right now, includes his father Shakku, Hitoya, and Jyushi. The latter two were confused when it happened but felt more at ease and honored after Shakku explained this to them.

Jyushi

Sometimes does nail art on Kuko's nails.

He fluctuates between masc and femme styles on the daily. Kuko once mistook him for a young woman passing by when he came to the temple to greet him.

Hitoya

Was a big fat baby who grew into a skinny child.

Is actually swole.

Will become a father of girls (and the best father anyone could have).

Otome

In her teenage years, she would use poetry as a means to vent her frustrations. She would also go on to dedicate poems to her ex-husband and, later on, her first son Dice.

Was absolutely smitten with Dice in his first years, insisting on doing the motherly affairs by herself, much to the maid's dismay.

Really wanted a daughter and was seriously thinking about giving Dice a little sister before everything went down with her marriage.

Ichijuku

She and her sister would often wear matching bows to school in her younger years.

Lets Nemu adorn her hair with ribbons and flowers during their outings. She secretly loves the look, even if it looks messy.

Nemu

Was a premature child.

Is not good at styling her hair since it's something her mother and brother used to do for her. Sometimes, she unknowingly self-soothes by stroking it.

Was interested in ballet at some point in her childhood.

Queen of Bisexuality.

Honobono

Is a pretty good dancer and gymnast. She used to do ballet and acrobatics in her youth.

Was the type of girl who would absolutely destroy her dolls while playing with them.

Yotsutsuji

Sleeps in a fetal position.

Is pretty quiet when sneaking in. He even startled Jakurai once.

[thelittleghoul]

Byakuya Togami with a autistic reader

Not requested!!

Notes: x reader, reader is autistic, romantic relationship, headcanon format

Important: Autism is a spectrum yes you have to meet certain criteria but everyone’s experiences with autism is different and can show in many forms. This headcanon does not apply to every autistic person!! (I am autistic and have knowledge on this topic before writing)

•Byakuya is very picky with the people he choses to be in his presence, let alone date. So most likely you two were friends before lovers due to him being the type of guy that doesn’t defrost easily. This means before you two started the relationship, although not an expert, he already was trying to be more familiar with your disability as he would study you from a distance.

•At first he found you just “quirky” and not that you had a disability, but the more he’d be around you the more it was made clear that you were autistic.

•To cut to the point he really doesn’t care. He’s not going to take time out of his day to belittle you, not because he’s an autistic advocate or saviour, he just doesn’t care about things that don’t affect him personally and that goes for a lot of things. Yes at first he thought you were weird but his opinion on a “commoner” was a mere crumb of thought in his mind, he had better things to do.

•Little things here and there would annoy him in the friendship, he thought you were just being complicated to get on his nerves. “I said I would pay why would you want to go to a greasy low life fast food chain rather than this restaurant? …Because they don’t have plain chicken strips?… oh good god.”

•It didn’t take long for him to figure you out, after he knew the truth he wasn’t as hard on you. If you didn’t want to eat what his chef had cooked, he wouldn’t force you. If you were playing with your clothes or laces, he would just mind his business. Yes because it would just be a waste of time, but he did care for you even if he wouldn’t confess that he did.

•Soon after you two started dating, he was at your every need. Even if you were born in a world where everything was on hard mode, he always tried to make it easier on you.

•He knows constancy and routine is a key part of autism and luckily for you, Byakuya is a very routinely oriented person. He’s very strict about how he lives and manages his life and change can also feel very uncomfortable to him so let’s just say you guys are two peas in a pod.

•He has physical and virtual calendars for everything. For his work, school, special events, even social gatherings with his friends. So he was more than happy to make you your own and to have access to his. He also helped you set up your phone for notifications about upcoming changes so your stress levels aren’t as high.

•He basically owns the world. The money and power this man has is unbelievable so any specialists, councillors, life coaches you name it is paid for and will be replaced quicker than the blink of an eye if you are having any problems with them. Byakuya is also hiring the best of the best across the world for you.

•Speaking of getting stuff for you obviously this mans love language is gift giving. He’d buy anything for you just point your figure at it. Although he will only but things without your input if he’s 100% certain you are comfortable with it, which is most of the time with him knowing you like the back of his hand but safe foods, textures etc can change.

•Once he bought you an expensive sweater he thought you would look stunning in, he didn’t realize the texture would send you into a meltdown. So he appreciates when you go shopping with him to make sure that every detail is safe and comfortable to you… but he also appreciates the time you two share together, even if it’s just online shopping while relaxing on the couch together.

•He hires the best chefs for the both of you but he also has a trick up his sleeve. After studying and having many conversations with you, he ordered a specialized cook book for his chefs (and you if you wanted) to cook your safe foods. Each microscopic detail in that book makes sure the food is consistent every single time, and lord knows he makes sure of it. “If you even cook with a different brand of butter you won’t be stepping foot in this kitchen or any kitchen for that matter ever again do I make myself clear?”

•Another thing you to have in common is not fitting in with other people. Yea sure for completely different reasons, but at least you two can bond over being somewhat outsiders. Besides, he really only needs you to keep him company (he’s somewhat of a secret softy)

•Byakuya knows that fancy limos will catch attention and will give you anxiety with all the staring so even if you still have the best private drivers and top model cars, from the outside he tries to make them look more discreet for you.

•The same can’t be said for when you two go out. It’s a little less difficult when the two of you are in higher class environments, but in places like a common coffee shop? That’s going to be a challenge with the paparazzi let alone the five body guards that are around him making everyone question who he and you are (although rarely people don’t know who Byakuya is 🙄)

•Although he still has his ways to make sure you two can still go shopping in person for making sure the texture, smell, sound etc of products are comfortable for you, if you get too overstimulated while shopping in person he’s definitely ok with online shopping.

•Flying is also something you never have to worry about, this man has a private jet ready to take off anywhere while having all your needs and wants in mind when designing and supplying the jet.

•If anyone tried to pick on you let’s just say they wouldn’t be showing up at school/work for a while and when they did, they would be keeping their distance from you (this man is petty and has connections) “I don’t know what your talking about. They don’t deserve to be in your graceful presence anyways my love.”

•Really Byakuya is your dream boyfriend when supplying you with your needs and accommodations, he will change the world for you instead of the world forcing you to fit into its unrealistic standards (like I said he basically owns the world)

•Any special interest you have, he’ll be getting you any merch he finds no matter what it is. He’s also good at helping you function while having special interests too. While also having phone notifications, Byakuya and his staff are always making sure your not too submerged in your special interests by reminding you to drink water, have meals/snacks, get out of the house, move your body and practice hygiene.

•He also understands your love language. That can be parallel play, info dumping, support swapping, penguin pebbling or even deep pressure. Although he’s better with some languages more than others, he’s a hard worker and I’m not just talking about his talent. He will do anything for you even if it takes him more time to get used to so don’t panic if you’re more of a physical or emotional lover.

•Definitely got you a sunflower lanyard 🌻

•Although he was cold at first (like most things) he just needed to be more exposed to you to understand you better and more softly 💚

[drchucktingle]

What flavor of queer are you, if that's not too invasive of a question?

question is just fine with chuck it is kind of interesting story.

on LGBTQIA trot i am TECHNICALLY two letters

easy first one is B that does not need any more explanation. that has always been my trot

second way is what i have learned through talkin with my online buds way of non-dysphoric trans. it has taken chuck LONG time to understand this but it has been fruitful journey i think. long ago chuck would post online about becoming other people or things or concepts or wrestling with my IDENTITY as a buckaroo (whether that meant becoming sweet barbara or becoming my reverse twin or becoming the entire seahawks footballs team, very handsome). in fitting with my entire heckin LIFE some buds probably thought these were jokes when they were not at all. they were just personal artistic bubbles tumbling up and popping in ways i didnt understand yet.

but through posting these thoughts and THEN writing trans tinglers and talking to my trans buds online, i started to realize there are all kinds of versions of a trans identity INCLUDING the ones that rolled around deep inside of me that i never had a name for.

three events helped chuck understand this

first: the trans buds chuck talked to while researching harriet porber said 'well i always knew if i could press a button and change my body to match my gender i would instantly do this' and chuck thought 'of course woudlnt we all do this?' and they said 'well no, do you feel this way?' and i would say 'yes very strongly'. i will FOREVER be grateful to trans community for these conversations and maybe it is another reason why being anti-gatekeeping is so important to chuck.

second: thought about all the games i have ever played like a dang videogame or a role playing game, chuck would ALWAYS choose ladybuck character. didnt really think this was a unique thing at time but it is a pattern across whole life

third: chuck was trotting around with some buds and they all said 'whose bod would you choose if you could transform into any body?' (this is common topic for chuck believe it or not.) and the buckaroo guys went around naming the usual brats pitt or handsome channing and it got to chuck and i said 'obviously brie larson' and then the dang guys just kind of stared at chuck and then i realized 'oh, i didnt even think my answer was unusual but i guess they were only talkin guy bods'

these three things happened pretty close to one another but they were all bubbling up for decades and expressed in various ways even chuck did not entirely understand

anyway. chucks way is NOT that i feel uncomfortable in my body and it does not bring me grief. i am not upset about it honestly. i do not even THINK about it most days. however, it is all TRUE and in a purely technical and utilitarian sense of A PLUS B then YES, male would not be my preferred gender.

didnt talk on this for a while because there are MANY dysphoric trans buckaroos who go through a lot of hardships and i have gone through ABSOLUTELY NONE IN THIS WAY. it has not made my life more difficult and it does not haunt me, so i do not want to have my voice drown out other trans buds who need space to shout. i am very privileged so even though technically this applies to chuck i do not need or want any bonus points.

that beings said, part of my journey on the autistic spectrum was to recognize that EVEN THOUGH my personal story is not tragic, it is still an important one to get out there onto this timeline. IN FACT there should be more stories of buckaroos who love being autistic like chuck. i am PROUD of my trot and i love my autism (this is also why i wanted to explicitly say my lead character in camp damascus is autistic)

so in the same way, when directly asked, i will say: i am technically non-dysphoric trans ALSO this has not weighed on my life at all. my story is not tragic it is full of joy and excitement. i will not shy away from this because there are all kinds of buckaroos on this spectrum.

anyway that is my VERY LONG TROT hope you enjoyed getting to know chuck a little more thank you for this question buckaroo

[dr-spectre]

My Splatoon Idol Headcanons!

Im so normal about them, like totally...... (note, some of them may be more serious than lighthearted so keep that in mind. i have warned you.)

Callie

Has ADHD 

Got a permanent version of the octopus tattoo that she keeps hidden with make-up when on stage. She sees it as a reminder that she has grown and to always believe that she is loved and to never listen to the dark thoughts that lie in her head

Hides most of her issues from everyone no matter how big or small because she’s scared to upset her family and friends. She'll only tell what's going on with her if someone REALLY presses her about it 

Always talks to Frye after each Splatfest loss to make sure she’s okay. She cheered extremely loudly when Team Bucket List won

Can be kind of clingy around her friends and family 

Marie

Is on the autism spectrum but has not told anyone due to feeling shame about it 

Considers Agent 3 family and treats them extremely nicely. She knew what happened to them in the Deepsea Metro

Massive Pokémon fan 

Constantly worries about Callie and was told by her that she willingly left with the Octarians. Marie checks up on her every day and needs to make a call with her otherwise she’ll get fidgety and restless 

Best friends with Marina and Big Man and they hang out when their schedules all line up

Pearl

Used to have an eating disorder that affected her health badly before she met Marina, she is currently working on eating better with Marina's help

Feels guilt and shame over being very rich and tries to do all she can to help out less fortunate people via charity and music 

Has sleeping problems and needs Marina to be in the same bed with her to fall asleep 

She still keeps up with the heavy metal scene and loves seeing new artists pop up

Loves outer space and being high in the air

Marina

Is on the autism spectrum and has told Pearl about it which she accepts and still loves her all the same

Wears her headphones as much as she can because she’s very sensitive to certain sounds and other sensations. If she becomes too overstimulated, she needs Pearl’s help to calm her down 

She loves to ramble on social media about her special interests and machinery

Is a workaholic and doesn’t like to relax for long periods of time, she must be doing something 

Wants to adopt Eight as her child but she hasn't gotten around to it or asked Eight about it due to her schedule

Shiver

Has a strained relationship with her father and mother and has low contact with them 

Has an addiction to juice and can chug down several boxes of it every day, she has kept this addiction hidden from Frye and Big Man but they have noticed an odd amount of juice boxes in the garbage 

Seeks companionship and deep connections with people badly but hides it with a cold exterior because she's scared of getting hurt or betrayed. She sometimes cries at night because she thinks she’s all alone and wants to be held 

Was an extreme perfectionist at high school and would get upset if she got decent or poor grades

Wears pajamas all the time at home and isn't the most hygienic 

Frye

Has a plushie collection that she keeps on her bed 

May have ADHD but she has not gotten a diagnosis for it yet 

Has issues with analysis paralysis and can never decide things easily 

Can be a bit too overbearing with her siblings but she means well and loves them to death 

Is deep down insecure about her appearance from seeing comments about her body online and trains her body constantly to feel good about herself 

Big Man

Is constantly overworked and wishes he could just relax

Has a vinyl collection where he has boxes upon boxes of vinyl records 

Is secretly a big fan of Off the Hook and the Squid Sisters 

He’s a pro bowling player and takes it VERY seriously even amongst friends 

Hates getting into arguments and gets very emotional even at the slightest of criticisms 

[zoobiefish]

So, I nearly missed out on Auctober again, whoops! I am now 9 days behind, woohoo 😂😅 I’m an Autistic university student, so I may not always have the spoons to commit to this daily challenge, or at the very least I may not be able to draw something for each prompt…I may have to just write a little blurb about what that day’s prompt means to me lol But ideally I would like to contribute as many pieces of art to this challenge as I can! For now though, to catch up on all I’ve missed, I’m going to make individual short blurbs for the prompts I’ve missed thus far:

Day 1: Autism Plus

For myself, in addition to being Autistic, I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, EDNOS, and generalized anxiety. I also suspect I may have hEDS (hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome). Fun stuff!

Day 2: Infinite

The most popular symbol for Autism Spectrum Disorder to my knowledge is a golden infinity ♾ symbol (sometimes I see a rainbow-coloured one in use as well, though my understanding is that the rainbow infinity symbol is used for neurodiversity as a whole). For a long time, the infamous puzzle piece 🧩 symbol was used to represent ASD—but most Autistics HATE this symbol!! I recognize that I don’t speak for all Autistic people, but this is the common opinion on the puzzle piece symbol and the one I share as well: The puzzle piece symbol is problematic because it suggests that Autistic people are inherently “missing a piece” or that we are “a puzzle to be solved.” Plus, this symbol is used by the evil corporation Autism Speaks. I would prefer not to go on a rant right now about why they’re evil; if anyone is curious, I would recommend doing research on why Autistic people HATE Autism Speaks. But the short version is that they support eugenicist policies around Autism and seek to eradicate us from existence. They treat us as non-humans under the guise of doing “charity work”—they are absolutely NOT a charity. Do NOT support Autism Speaks under any circumstances—any supporter of Autism Speaks (or as most of us spell it, “Autism $peaks”), is NO friend of mine!

Day 3: AuDHD

This is a fun little term I’ve seen in the Autism and ADHD communities! It’s a portmanteau of “Autism” and “ADHD” in case it wasn’t obvious heh! I myself do have AuDHD; it’s a very common comorbidity! It’s certainly…an interesting experience because the two often conflict with each other, as if I have 2 wolves fighting within my brain 🤪

Day 4: Music

Music is one of my favourite coping mechanisms. If I’m understimulated or need inspiration (especially for art or writing), I’ll put on some fun, energetic music to get the juices flowing and will dance and/or pace around the room to get the energy out of my system! If I’m overstimulated, relaxing videogame soundtracks are often my go-to—especially music from The Legend of Zelda, Stardew Valley, Animal Crossing etc. Another aspect of my being on the spectrum is that my thoughts are very vivid and visual. Often times when I hear music, I can’t help but see colours, shapes, images, and even stories with characters and whatnot going along to the music. It gives me great ideas for animatics and artwork! I love this fun little bonus feature in my brain haha 😛

Day 5: Verbose

This one is rather interesting for me. I find when I feel safe around a person or I have just TOO much energy to control myself, I WILL talk—and talk—and talk—etc. I feel so bad for those who fall victim to my “infodump sessions”—but just know that if I do that to you, it’s my way of showing affection. If I talk and never seem to shut up around you…I probably really like you (platonically) 😁 Other times however, I am dead silent. This is usually around people I’m uncertain of, don’t know well enough, or I may just be burntout/too tired to talk 😅

Day 6: Individuals

As the saying goes: If you’ve met ONE (1) Autistic person, then you’ve met ONE (1) Autistic person! We are NOT a hivemind, people!! Just because I’m not like your “friend’s cousin’s aunt’s 3-year-old stepson” doesn’t mean I’m “not Autistic.” The stereotype with Autism is a white cishet dude—but we are just as diverse a population as any other demographic. We all have our differences and similarities, but we are unified in our shared diagnosis—and that’s it!

Day 7: Neuroscope

Ah yes, the “superpower” Autistic people seem to have in which we can all “sense each other” 😂😂😂 I find this to be scarily accurate actually—the majority of the people I’ve become friends with at uni turned out to be Autistic, and long before they mentioned they were on the spectrum I was able to tell. The funniest part though is that they all the said same thing about me! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Day 8: Non-Speaking

So of course Autism is a spectrum, and among the ways in which Autistic people can differ from one another is whether we possess the ability to verbally speak or not. I do not want to talk in length about what being “non-speaking” means as I am not non-speaking myself and don’t wish to talk over those who are. What I do know though is that some of us are unable to verbally speak and may use alternative methods to communicate (whether through the use of sign language, AAC devices, or other means), which are equally valid methods of communication that deserve to be respected. Once again, I must iterate that I am fully capable of verbal speech and I am in no way non-speaking myself. That being said, sometimes I do have a reduced capacity to speak or feel it takes far more physical effort to speak when I am tired, stressed, overwhelmed, in sensory overload, or in the midst of a shutdown. This does NOT mean I am non-speaking—that label is exclusively for Autistic individuals who cannot verbally speak at all. I’m not sure what the proper terminology is for my specific situation (if anyone knows of it, I’d appreciate if you let me know in the comments!) but because of these situations, I am currently trying to learn ASL so I can still communicate in some way during these episodes.

And that’s it for now! I am hoping to have a drawing done by the end of today for Day 9, but we shall see! In the meantime, check out @autiebiographical on Tumblr! They are the one who started Auctober in the first place to my knowledge and they create amazing comics and other content that educates people on Autism Spectrum Disorder! Happy Auctober y’all!

[theconquerorwormhoard]

So sorry for this ask, but could you please do one for the Eleventh Doctor where the reader is on the autism spectrum and also has depression, and the Doctor discovers that the reader is really beginning to feel like she doesn’t belong on the TARDIS? The Doctor ends up confessing his love for her after the reader confesses that she doesn’t want to live anymore? Sorry if this doesn’t sound like something you’d like to write.

(so sorry for the wait! I'll be posting more consistently, I promise)

Stormclouds

Pairing: 11th Doctor x GN!Reader

Rating: T

Tags/TW: hurt/comfort, reader struggles with suicidal thoughts

You'd learned a long time ago that happiness was an exceedingly fickle thing.

Life had a habit, one that you'd noticed for years. It would tease you with something brilliant, something beautiful, and after long enough, when the clouds had finally parted, everything would fall apart. The thing that looked so beautiful from far away would suddenly feel far-fetched and even laughable, and the clouds would close in again.

:readmore:

When you met the Doctor, a voice from the back of your mind told you that you shouldn't accept his offer, that the universe would be treacherous and you would be better off on Earth. But the Doctor opened the TARDIS doors, and for a moment, everything was bright.

You travelled through space and time and it was everything you could have hoped for and more, until a trip went wrong.

The TARDIS materialized in the middle of a space battle, a massive dogfight with what had to be a thousand spaceships shooting at each other. The roar of the engines and the shriek of the blaster fire left you covering your ears and huddled in a chair, while the Doctor rushed around the console.

In an instant, he'd taken the TARDIS into the bridge of the command ship and rushed to the doors, sonic in hand. You followed him out of instinct, nearly falling to the floor as blaster fire rocked the ship. He began tearing apart a control panel, shoving piles of shredded wires into your arms.

In a few tense minutes, he'd disabled the command ship, sending out a signal (somehow) that deactivated the rest of the opposing fleet. You retreated inside the TARDIS as he (somehow) sorted out the rest, and the voice in the back of your mind returned, whispering that it'd been right all along.

There were trips after that, but those first few months of peace and calm had been a fluke, because for every one trip that turned out exactly as planned, there were at least five more trips that ended in disaster. You wondered if it was always like this, travelling with the Doctor, and you had to insist to yourself that it wasn't. But there was a feeling, creeping in and corroding each day - the feeling that everything was wrong and there was nothing you could do.

The universe was full of problems you couldn't solve, along with problems no one could solve, not even the Doctor. You were only one person, one human being, how could you do anything worthwhile? The feeling drowned out everything else.

The Doctor told you today that he had a wonderful trip planned, that the TARDIS was on its way to the largest forest in the universe, with trees hundreds of times taller than skyscrapers and bioluminescent birds.

You couldn't help but think that something would go wrong. When you were proved wrong and the TARDIS landed safely on a branch the size of a bridge, the feeling remained. Your mind was flooded with images of giant bloodthirsty hawks and venomous bugs, and you lamented that you couldn't even enjoy what the Doctor was trying to show you.

He tugged on his jacket and offered you a smile, gesturing to the doors. You returned his smile but it didn't quite reach your eyes. The two of you left the TARDIS to admire the forest, and if he'd noticed you were acting strangely, he didn't say anything. Deep down, you thanked him for it.

He began walking down the massive length of the branch, pointing out each bird he could see in the branches above and telling you what they were called. For a moment, you let yourself listen.

His voice turned into a hum in your ear as you continued to walk, staring down at the bark beneath your feet before stopping entirely. You took a deep breath that shuddered in your throat, and when he heard it, the Doctor stopped and turned to face you.

You looked up and saw the look on his face, and your heart plummeted in your chest. He looked concerned, not confounded or frustrated, but concerned. When he spoke your name, his voice was low and softer than you'd ever heard it.

He stepped closer and cupped your face in his hands, peering into your eyes. "What's the matter?" he asked. You tried to say something, anything, but your eyes started brimming with tears and your shaky exhale turned into a sob.

Your knees buckled underneath you and he held onto your elbow as you sunk to sit on the branch. Now that the dam had burst, tears streamed down your face and every breath you tried to take came with a hoarse cry. You couldn't remember the last time you'd cried like this, but instead of feeling cathartic, this felt like you were dying.

The Doctor tugged you to him, holding you in an enormous bear hug as you sobbed. He stroked your hair and spoke gently, "It's alright, I promise, everything's alright."

You made some attempt at cleaning your face, saying, "No it's not. It's really not-" Your voice broke off and you tried to look away. "I don't know why I'm here."

He took your chin in his hand and gently lifted your head. "You're here because you want to be, aren't you?" he asked, trying and failing to crack a smile, "What's wrong?"

You sniffed. "I dunno, everything is wrong, I'm wrong, everything goes wrong and I can't help. I stand out of the way while you do all the work and I'm useless-" you said, choking back another sob. You swiped your sleeve across your face and sniffed again before saying, "I don't know what I'm doing here, I'm always in the way. It was the same on Earth, I can't do anything right. I'm like a-" You cried softly, "I'm like a parasite-"

"No one talks about my friend like that," the Doctor said, stroking your cheek with his thumb. "You're incredible! You're lovely, and brilliant, I couldn't imagine traveling without you."

You covered your face with your hands and muttered, "You don't understand-" Your shoulders shook and your chest heaved with sobs. "That feels like a lie, it feels like- like you're just trying to be nice, and I can't help it, but I can't believe you- and I'm tired!" you cried, "I just want it to stop, I'm so tired of feeling like this. I just-"

You paused, sniffing and wiping the tears from your eyes. The Doctor peered at you, not daring to say a word.

You said, "I'm sorry," and the Doctor responded.

"You've got nothing to be sorry about, alright? Nothing at all, I promise," he said. You sniffed again and took a deep breath.

"It's just... A lot, all the time. It gets terrible like this, and I've- sometimes, I..." you said, swallowing a lump in your throat, "I think the world would be better off without me in it. I dunno, it- it feels like I'd be doing everyone a favor." You chuckled bitterly.

The Doctor spoke, slow and deliberate, refusing to break your gaze. "Please believe me when I say that the world would not be better off without you. I have been travelling for over a thousand years, and I have never met a person that didn't matter. You're extraordinary."

He touched his forehead to yours, cupping your face and taking a deep breath. "I can't imagine a world without you," he said, stating it like it confused him, "But if I can do anything about it, I'll make sure that any world with you in it is nice and safe, I promise I'll try my hardest."

He paused again before saying, "I also want you to know that I love you, and I'm here, even when it gets hard."

You froze. Your eyes flashed across his face, looking for any telltale signs of a lie, but as you looked, you found nothing but sincerity. A tiny smile crept onto your face.

He enveloped you in another bear hug, stroking your hair as you wrapped your arms around him. For the first time in a while, you felt content.