#attachment therapist
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
awarenesshealing · 2 years ago
Text
Counselling Central Coast and Sydney
Awareness Healing offers a range of effective Counselling services, Hypnotherapy and Reiki therapies on the Central Coast and Sydney. We can assist with relationship issues, marriage and divorce breakdowns, grief and loss, career development, parenting, childhood trauma and abandonment issues.
Tumblr media
Using a range of Counselling therapy models, the therapist will listen, sympathise and help you find new coping tools. And explore new perspectives for problem-solving, exploring new strategies and resolving issues.Here at our Awareness Healing clinics on the Central Coast and Sydney, we offer many styles of Counselling therapy ranging from Psycho-Analytical Therapy and Psycho-Dynamic Therapy. We operate from a Person-Centred approach and work with Behavioural Therapy, Clinical Hypnotherapy, NLP, breathwork and Mindfulness techniques.
What will happen in your sessions
Counselling Therapy Central Coast and Sydney will offer you the chance to speak with a therapist about your concerns about the past and anxieties about the future. Relationship issues and general life challenges are some challenges we all have to face. It’s always nice to be able to just talk to someone who is non–judgemental. We will help you find clarity, resolve conflicts within yourself, and help you cope with your hardships. The therapy will also help you gain new perspectives on things you have failed to realise in the past.
HOW CAN COUNSELLING HELP
What is Counselling?
Counselling Central Coast is about finding truth and meaning within your inner self. Working with your inner resources to assist you in the healing process. What most people believe about ‘deep introspection’ is that we all need to meditate like monks to achieve a high level of awareness.
Although this is partly true, all we need to do is to take that first step in exploring our deep inner self. We access our unconscious mind through deep introspection and reflection, with the assistance of a therapist.
Counselling Services in Central Coast is about feeling safe and comfortable expressing emotions and concerns without being judged. The wisdom of the adult self holds all the wisdom we need for healing. You can be of any religion, culture or race to receive the benefits of this Counselling Therapy.
For Counselling Therapy in Central Coast and Sydney, please give us a call if you have a particular issue not listed above. Once you give us a call, we can discuss the process of Counselling. We can discuss if this therapy is appropriate for you and work out ways to assist in constructing a plan for change.
RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLING
Marriage, divorce and separation anxiety
Anxiety and Depression can be experienced when we’re having relationship issues. It may be a breakup, going through a divorce, or a very hard separation. Marriage can also trigger feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. Depression can set in when our expectations of marriage have not been met. If you’re experiencing emotional abuse, physical abuse, and domestic violence, just know that you are not alone. With Counselling, we can help you overcome these issues, working through new strategies to overcome your challenges. So you can feel confident and empowered to move forward with positivity and certainty.
TRAUMA, STRESS AND ANXIETY
Trauma and Abandonment in children
In childhood, some of us have experienced trauma or abandonment. We refer to these conditions as Attachment Theory. Attachment Theory is grouped into three categories.
Anxious Attachment is associated with a negative self-image, where an individual seeks the approval of others. The individual anticipates fears of rejection and abandonment.
Avoidant or Ambivalence Attachment is characterised by a negative image of others, a withdrawal from society with a fear of depending too much on others.
Secure Attachment is about long-term relationships based on trust. Where an individual has high self-esteem, seeks out social support, overly shares feelings with other people and seeks approval from others for self-esteem.
Perhaps a carer abandoned you as a child, or we may have not matured as an adult. The neurosis then starts to manifest as a young adult. Whatever the child is lacking in development, the person compensates by seeking relationships that give them what they lack. It’s the inner paradigm of the individual that acts out as a behaviour.
This inner world then reflects its beliefs as a projection to the outside world. This, therefore, creates unhealthy relationships of co-dependency, isolation and neediness. This behaviour can be a burden on another person, friend or family member. This can continue as a behavioural addiction that can manifest as sex addiction. drug/alcohol addiction and work addiction, which can develop as undesirable behaviours.
Here at Awareness Healing, you are not alone. We offer safe and non-judgemental therapies that will help the person develop parts of themselves that were not developed as a young person or child.
For more information about Trauma and Abandonment Hypnotherapy, please www.awarenesshealing.com.au/clinical-hypnotherapy/stress-and-trauma.
Counselling Therapy can be helpful for
Anxiety and Depression
Relationship Issues
Abandonment issues
Divorce and Separation anxiety
Parenting skills
Internal Conflicts
Self esteem and Confidence
Bereavement, Loneliness and Divorce
Grief and Loss
Loneliness and Isolation
Trauma and Stress
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Phobias and Fears
Illness and Disease
Motivation
Anger Management
Gambling and addictions
Drug and Alcohol Issues
Workplace Wellbeing
Career Development
Work and career issues
Insomnia and Sleep Disorders
Identity Issues
Gender identity and/or sexuality
LGBTQ Identity Therapy
0 notes
starry-bi-sky · 8 months ago
Text
Childhood Friends Danny and Jason: Ch2 Remastered
-------------------------------------------------------------- late at night when the stars don't look quite right -------------------------------------------------------------- there's something burning in the empty room inside of my head fill it up with doubt let it in, let it spread
Jason nearly falls flat on his face when he sees the photo of Danny. He’s in a warehouse, finishing up with a gang selling drugs on his turf. The guys he’s got tied up are cursing up a storm at him, throwing every insult under the sun his way that he’s all heard before. His eyes drag over to them, and silently Jason adjusts his jacket to reveal the guns strapped to his thighs, his hand hovering over the handle of one. 
They all fall silent, and Jason moves his hand away. His phone in his other hand, texting Oracle to alert the police. Jason hates that he has to; these guys will be out of their cells in a matter of months, and nothing will change. 
But he’ll play nice. 
And then his phone buzzes, and when Jason looks down he sees a banner from Tim. A message he planned on ignoring, but his eyes skim over the text on instinct, and suddenly the air is stolen right from his lungs, and his thumb is hitting the screen before he can really think it through.
[Hey Jason, your best friend just appeared in Gotham for the first time since your funeral.]
Impossible. He thinks, yanking his phone close to his nose, as if that will make it any less real or fake. Danny hasn’t been in Gotham in years, Jason checked. But then the image loads, and then he’s staring Danny Fenton in the face. And then he’s greedily tracing every minute, new detail he can find. The gang left half-forgotten in his mind.
Danny’s got an undercut, it looks self-done. It looks good. He looks taller. He’s got piercings in his ears, gold and jewels lining up the sides like a magpie’s find. He’s got an eyebrow piercing. 
Something old, something new; Danny is smiling and it still looks just as Jason remembers it. Crooked, lopsided, warm like the sun and belying the mischief underneath it. He remembers to breathe in that moment, and the sound comes in sharp. Danny’s eyes are as blue as they’ve ever been. 
(“I don’ get why books talk so much about peoples’ eyes.” Danny complains to him one day when he’s visiting the manor, his legs thrown over Jason’s back like an anchor tied to its ship. They’re sunk into the mattress of Jason’s bed, sunlight peering through the windows. “They’re just eyes! I don’t need t’know that they’re ‘as blue as the sky,’ or- or the ocean, or whatever blue thing in the world there is.”) 
(Jason’s smile comes to him like breathing, and he twists around to lay on his back. His arms trap Danny’s legs to his stomach. “Pretty sure it’s jus’ for emphasis on how much they’re noticing the person’s face.”)
(Danny’s face scrunches up, and Jason’s smile splits into a grin, heart swelling three sizes on instinct. “I think it’s stupid, s’just some fuckin’ eyes.”)
(“Eyes are windows to the soul, Dan.” Jason retorts, barking out a laugh when Danny gives him a deadpan look. His hands creep for a pillow, one of the soft downy ones wrapped in silk, and he throws it at Danny’s face. “And besides, speak for yourself! Your eyes are the bluest thing I’ve ever seen.”) 
But most importantly, Danny looks tired. 
Hiding is something that comes free with the purchase of living in Gotham, and Danny’s good at hiding things, he always has, but Jason knows him like the palm of his hands. He looks tired, and Jason wants to reach through the screen and ask him why. There’s an age-worn look there, catching in the flint of his iris, where his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. 
Jason gets the ETA from Oracle, then leaves as fast as his legs can carry him and his grappling hook can zip through the air. He needs to see Danny with his own eyes, to confirm himself that Danny was here, and that it wasn’t his mind playing tricks on him. Or that it was Tim playing a cruel joke on him — and if it was, he’ll have to rethink his whole killing thing. 
Gotham’s air is warm and suffocating, but her winds bite at him as he soars through it.
It’s second nature for him to find the west end balcony, and Jason finds himself with his feet locked in place on the building beside it. Grappling hook in hand, and a balloon in his lungs, all swelled up and squishing the air out of him. 
It’s just his luck —with whatever he has left— that Danny is there as well. In the same spot he’s always been, with a cigarette caught between his teeth. He’s stuck halfway, head tilting, eyes closed, with the shadows of Gotham on his back and the light of the gala at his front. 
For a moment, for a fleeting, terrifying moment, Jason thinks Danny’s going to tilt himself back off the side.The thought has him blindly tilting himself forward with his heart in his throat. Hands reaching for his grappling hook, swinging down to drop down beside him.
Danny is staring at him before his feet even hit the ground, face nigh unreadable beyond the small, wary furrow of his brows. Danny’s never looked at him like that before, it feels like  stumbling on the last step of the stairs. 
Then, like fire to black powder something flashes and ignites in Danny’s eyes. Mouth curling, eyes burning, for a moment, just a moment, they’re kids again, getting into fights and turning soft hands punch-rough. Danny looks at Jason like he’s going to tear him to shreds.
Jason’s mouth runs dry like a desert in the summer, but his blood chills in fear cold in his veins. Why are you looking at me like that? His mouth opens, but his tongue is leaden in his throat, and no sound comes out. It’s me. Don’t you recognize me?  
Danny yanks the cigarette from his mouth like it burns him, his free hand gripping onto the railing like it’s the tether to a leash, nails threatening to turn into talons. “Red Hood.” He says, voice low and timbre, smoke dripping from his lips like dragon’s breath.  
Oh.
That’s right. Jason suffocates on his heart as it sinks and soars with relief. Danny doesn’t know it’s him. In his tunnel vision, he forgot that simple, easy fact. It’s not because it’s Jason that he’s angry. It still doesn’t explain, though, why Danny looks at him like he ought to sink his teeth into his throat and rip him open. 
He’s half-distracted by that, and then distracted by the need to drink in the sight of Danny again. A photo is one thing; the real person is another, and with his fear subsiding, Jason rakes his eyes over his best friend and swallows him whole. His eyes are bluer in person, his memory and Tim’s photo doesn’t do them justice, and Danny inherited his dad’s height. He’s gotten so tall. They both have. They both used to be such scrawny kids. 
So distracted is he, that he forgets to respond to Danny, to say anything. Not until Danny tries to dismiss himself, and Jason kickstarts into gear. White hot panic fills in his lungs, burning him up like magma. No, no, no, he’s moving without thinking, always when he’s with him, and he nearly latches onto Danny. Nearly wraps his hands around his arm to hold him in place. Don’t leave. You’re finally here; don’t go. 
Danny stays, but he stares at Jason’s reaching hands like he’ll bite them off, stares at Jason with his eyes burning, watchful. Jason’s excuse is lousy and he knows it, but he wants, wants, wants to stay and figure out every new thing about Danny. 
And he feels like he’s losing something. Time bleeds together beside him and Jason feels trapped behind a glass wall of his own making. Something old, something new. The distance of which Danny keeps him at is foreign to him. He hates it. 
Tell me everything, he thinks, because he can’t find the words to say it. He hands Danny a cigarette instead, and hopes that it’s enough. Tell me everything and more, tell me what I’ve missed. 
In the end, he still feels like he’s losing something, but he also feels like he’s missing something. Answers that are water, and that water is slipping through his fingers. Danny leaves him with more questions than answers; something that’s never happened before, and Jason watches him walk back inside with a spinning mind. 
What do you mean you spoke to my ghost?
I told you that the Joker killed me?
Have I told you anything else? Have I already told you everything I’ve wanted to?
What happened while I was gone? 
Is that why you’re scarred?
Because Jason isn’t blind, he’s never been. Not in Crime Alley, not as Robin, not now. And not when it comes to his best friend. He sees the silver lightning scars ripped jagged up Danny’s arm, sees that they disappear under his sleeves. He saw, faded as they were, invisible until the light hit right, as they spread like tree roots up his throat and across the side of his face.
Scars that Danny’s never had before. Scars he didn’t have when Jason was alive the first time. Scars he didn’t have the last time Jason saw him. Or — what he remembers to be the last time he saw him, because apparently he saw him as a ghost. He sees the curve of his ears and how they point more than a human’s should, he saw the glint of his canines, sharper than they should be; sharper than he remembers. Metaphorical fangs turned real.   
Jason should’ve asked where he got them from, should’ve taken Danny by the front of his collar and stopped him from leaving. Who did this to you? He should have said, a fire burning in his chest and wrapping around his throat, pulling his voice into a snarl. He should have said, his guns weighing heavy on his sides; Who did it. I’ll take care of it. Just tell me who. Tell me everything. 
Instead, something crawled into his mouth and died, and his tongue is glued to the roof of it. And he doesn’t say anything, because saying something means telling his best friend who he is. It means having to take off his helmet and mask. It means telling his best friend that he’s alive, that he has been. That despite being two halves of a whole, Jason spent five years letting him think he was dead. 
He can’t tell him, not when he’s in too deep already. Not when Jason is so unrecognizable to who he used to be that if he told him, Danny would hate him.
And Danny is still grieving him. So plain as day mourning, still angry over his death. Angry enough that he wants the Joker dead, angry enough that he wants to hang the noose and kick the chair out himself. 
Jason wishes he told him that he looks tired. 
Instead he’s standing alone on the balcony, trying to get his thoughts in order as music blares muffled through the gold-light door. He’s left staring at the crushed cigarette laying on the ground, Gotham’s ambience at his back and a poem hanging in the air that he has no words for. It’s already there. Like stars on a painted ceiling.
And there are so many questions he needs answers for. 
Like his ghost. His ghost.
What did Danny mean by his ghost? 
Does he really want to kill the Joker himself? Was it just the grief talking? Jason knows — or thinks he knows — Danny like the palm of his hands. He’s been through everything with him, he’s seen him say something and then immediately follow through with it. He knows when he’s being serious, he knows when he’s not. 
Danny wants to kill the Joker. Stealing is one thing; murder is another. And Danny wore a look on his face that looked like he meant it when he told Red Hood that he wanted to kill Joker. But saying and doing are two different things. Jason doesn’t know what to think.  
Something old, something new. Danny is still the same, and yet he’s changed so much. 
What did Danny mean by his ghost? 
Jason doesn’t ever remember being a ghost. But Danny knows the Joker killed him. He knows how he killed him. Danny’s parents are ghost scientists, and Jason remembers the letter he got one day telling him about the portal they were building in the basement. 
He remembers thinking about telling Bruce — this was something beyond the glowing green samples stored in the fridge, giving life to the food inside. This was beyond the weapons, the inventions they made that only saw the light of day when the Drs. Fenton brought them up to showcase them.
And he didn’t, because if he hadn’t told Bruce about everything before, he wasn’t going to start. He admits, it was part fear that Bruce might intervene and prevent him from seeing Danny that he didn’t.  
Neither of them had expected it to work — but it sounds like it did. 
(Jason has avoided Amity Park for a reason. He knows he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from going there if he didn’t. But now, he just might have to look into it. He’s missed too much.) 
And Danny wants to kill the Joker, and Jason isn’t sure if he means it or not. Because the look on his face when he said it is oh-so familiar. It’s the one he wore when he needed Jason to distract the clerk while he snuck behind the counter to steal cigarettes from the shelves. It was the one he wore when an older kid cornered them near one of Gotham’s many alleys, threatening them over something Jason can no longer remember clearly. 
(He remembers puffing himself up, rearing for a fight. Danny, with glass in his teeth and blood between his fingers, lands a square kick to the spot between the kid’s legs. His knees hit the ground, and Danny’s hand found Jason’s to drag them both out of there.)
It’s the look of a boy, Gotham-touched grime in his soul, soft fingers turned calloused and scarred, about to do something he’s not going to regret. It’s the look of a boy that has set his mind to something and is going to do it. Some might call it the eyes of a cornered animal, but Danny’s never been cornered, not when Jason’s been with him. 
(But Jason hasn’t been with him. Not for the last five years. So can he really say it wasn’t the eyes of a cornered animal?...Yes.) 
Jason gets off the balcony before he can be seen, and he shouldn’t, but he loiters. He should get back to patrol, the night is never over. Not in Gotham. But he stays, hidden atop the roof nearby.
—---------------
An hour later, Danny walks out the doors with a man Jason recognizes as Vlad Masters — another new mystery for him to uncover. The paparazzi have long since left. Gotham’s nights are dangerous and everyone knows that, not even the vultures would stick around for a scoop, not unless there was something worth seeing. 
A black limousine pulls up beside them, and Masters walks around the back to reach the other side. He’s bristled like an angry cat. “I thought I told you not to embarrass me.” He hisses, eyes snake-narrowed.
Danny, for the most part, just looks unbothered, his hands shoved into his pockets without a care. But he narrows his eyes right back, an expression made of stone. “You have a pretty low bar for what you think is embarrassing.” 
Masters just scowls, “I don’t understand you, I would have thought you’d spend the whole time mingling with the Waynes, badger.” He says. Danny ruffles at the nickname, lips curling into a snarl. Jason finds himself unconsciously mimicking him. “And yet, I find you sequestered away in the corner like a little fly on the wall. Were they not up to your standards?”  
‘Sequestered’ Danny mouths mockingly, eyes burning like he was going to claw his hand down Masters’ face. Instead, his hands dig into his arms. “I did talk to them, that’s more than I can say for you. You couldn’t even keep Mister Wayne’s attention for more than a minute.”  
Jason frowns, and Masters scoffs, puffing up like an owl with its ego bruised. “Regardless, I am not the one losing here. Or did you forget what you promised me?” 
Jason’s frown deepens. Danny doesn’t promise anything. At least, he doesn’t promise with just anyone. He deals; he repays; he indebts. But he does not promise. Promises were power, with only one side benefiting. It was trust to promise someone something. Danny doesn’t trust easily, neither of them do.
Something that hasn’t changed. Danny rears up angrily, mouth twisting, teeth baring, snarling out a fury sound. A wire cut live and sparking. He grabs the door handle and yanks it open harshly. “I didn’t promise you anything, Vlad.” He hisses, Jason strains to hear him. “I offered and you agreed. Do not fucking twist my words.” 
There it is. Jason should’ve known better, guilt string-plucking in his chest for his doubt. Danny doesn’t promise things; not to people like this Masters guy, at least. 
Danny grabs something from the car and throws himself back. “Don’t wait up.” He snarls, a wild thing just as Jason is, and yanks on a red hoodie over his arms. It zips up, and hangs off him, smothering the vest and button-up beneath. “I’ll meet you back at the hotel.” 
Then he slams the door shut, shoulders hunched and with a scowl carved into his face. They’re both made of broken glass; independence — disobedience — and rebellion cut into them from every broken beer bottle shattered on the streets.
(Jason makes a mental note to look into Vlad Masters — Danny’s never told him about him, so they must have met after he died. The man leaves a rot in Jason’s mouth, and there is a greed festering inside him that Jason knows has left him in decay.)
(He doesn’t like how close Masters acts with him, doesn’t like the affiliations between them both. Masters reminds him of Luthor and every other rich socialite with their hands in something dirty. He hates even more that Danny is making deals with him. What has he missed?)  
Jason follows after Danny, partially concerned that Danny is wandering Gotham alone. Regardless of what he can do, Gotham is still dangerous. It is bone-rotting, lung-choking and unforgiving. Danny knows this, Jason knows he does. He’s partially curious to know just where he’s going, and whether or not it was important enough to visit in the dead of Gotham’s bloody nights.
Danny surprises him — slipping between alleyways, sticking close to the shadows. Someone taught him how to be stealthy — or, at least, refined what stealth Danny already had. More new things that Jason needs to learn. More things he will never get to know. 
Who taught you that? 
Just what, exactly, have I missed?
I want to know everything. 
Five years is a long, long time to be away from someone. If a caterpillar can become a butterfly in two weeks, then what can five years do to a human? It’s a long time to change, to become something else entirely. Jason’s become someone new, and he thinks, so has Danny. 
Dread pools in his ribs, into his lungs, and weighs heavy on his heartstrings. The urge to drop down in front of Danny, to grab him by the arms and ask him to tell him everything, returns with a vengeance. This is why he avoided Amity Park. 
Will I still know you like I used to? Jason trails behind Danny from the rooftops, like a ghost. Do you still love the stars? Do you still take tea over coffee? Will you tell me, if I ask? 
And if he doesn’t? If he doesn’t ask, like he isn’t right now? 
If he doesn’t ask about his ghost — something that still boggles his mind, because it means the Fentons were right and that portal might have worked, and Danny found Jason’s ghost? If he doesn’t ask what his ghost told him, if he told him anything else? Did his ghost tell you that he was Robin, like he always wanted to?  
He will just have to keep his questions to himself. He will just have to tuck them into a folder in his mind, and file it under all of his other regrets.  
He feels like he’s Robin again; keeping secrets and hiding things from his best friend because it simply wasn’t safe enough for him to know. It’s maddening.  
Why has nothing changed since he died? Why has nothing changed, now that he was alive?
—---------------
Danny leads him to the Gotham Cemetery. Jason freezes outside the gates. Oh, he thinks.
Oh.
He thinks back to what he thought earlier. 
What could possibly be so important that he’d go to it in the dead of Gotham’s night? The cemetery. Of course. Something old, something new, something bittersweet sets over his tongue that he swallows down. 
Jason forces himself to follow. 
“Hey.” Danny says as Jason settles behind a tree, voice gentle in foreign familiarity. He’s standing at Jason’s grave, his hands shoved into his pockets. The light is low but it doesn’t stop Jason from seeing the starlight-soft look in Danny’s eyes and his half-tilted smile, the smile that Jason is more familiar with than the wary scowls. “Sorry I’m late.”
Guiltish misery wraps its hands around Jason’s lungs. Pin-prickingly, stabbing at his heartstrings, Jason’s mouth moves on its own; “It’s okay.” but no sound comes out. Danny doesn’t hear him, and neither does Jason himself.  
Danny sits down before Jason’s tombstone, groaning low and tiredly as his legs fold beneath him. He’s older than Jason, and immediately his mind switches over to all the jokes he used to lob him with. 
(“Need help crossing the street, old man?” Jason, eight years old, asks with a grin so wide and painful across his face; giggles in his chest. He hooks his elbow with Danny, and keeps him tight against his ribs. “You’ll need all the help you can get in your ancient age.”)
(“I’m not that old.” Danny says, glaring at him before they scurry across the street with the light still green. Traffic laws are a joke in Crime Alley, it’s like a game of frogger as the sound of honking horns and screeching tires follows their heels. “We’re six months apart!”)
(“Six months and four days, actually.” Jason corrects when they reach the other side, snickering as they race down the sidewalk. Drivers lean out their windows and curse them out as they get away, Danny dodges an empty soda can thrown at his head. “Can’t forget the four days.”)
“I would’ve come sooner.” Danny tells him, pulling him from child-fuzzy memories and back into reality. Jason peers around the tree to see him running a hand through his hair, head ducked down. His palm splaying against his neck. “Sorry I didn’t. I got scared.” 
Scared? Jason blinks, he leans against the bark and bumps his helmet against the wood. The thunk is loud in his ears, but Danny makes no indication that he heard. Of what? 
But Danny doesn’t say what, he drops his hand and glances off to the side. He sits like a man who isn’t quite sure what to do, his mouth pressed into a thin line, his eyes scrunched. Grief carves into the lines of his face like a sculptor carving into marble. 
“I was gonna get you flowers on my way here.” Danny continues. His voice cracks, begins to wobble, and Jason sees Danny’s jaw tighten and his eyes close for a moment. When they open, there’s a wobbling sheen on his bottom lashes; tears threatening to bleed.   
Danny flicks at the tears with the nail of his thumb, it does nothing. It just makes his breath hitch. “Um, but they- uh, didn’t have any open on the way here.” He says, giving Jason’s grave a tremulous smile. “Sorry, I’ll make sure to pick some up on my next visit.”   
Next visit. Jason’s heart squeezes uncomfortably, before he reels at the words. Danny’s going to be visiting again, after five years of being out of Gotham? Next visit, why are you visiting again? Was this the reason he came to Bruce’s little charity ball with Vlad Masters? So that he could come visit Jason’s grave?
It couldn’t have been. There are other ways to get to Gotham that don’t require making deals with shady rich men. Danny’s smart, smarter than Danny himself gives him credit for. He’s brilliant. Why did he need Masters’ help to get him to Gotham?
There had to be another reason why.
God, there were so many questions that Jason wants the answers to. He’ll find them, one way or another. 
But, he focuses in again. Danny is only here for the night. One night, and he doesn’t know when he’ll be back again. Jason wants to commit every detail of his best friend to memory before he leaves. 
“You like zinnias, right?” Danny pets the grass at his side absently, and yes. Yes, Jason does, and Danny remembers. Even five years from his death, he remembers. Of course he does. 
“Yeah, you do. You used to pick the petals up off the sidewalk from those uh, fuck — the vendors. The Victorian flower language too, I think. Got a book on that somewhere. I’ll get you red an’ yellow ones.” 
Grief traps in Jason’s chest, and he barely tamps down the bitter laugh forcing itself out of the chokehold of his throat. You fucking sap, you big fuckin’ sap.
Red zinnias. Steadfast beating of the heart. The irony. It’s got double the meaning now, now that he’s alive. But Danny doesn’t know that, so the heart that’s beating could only belong to him. But even with Jason alive, he’s hiding. Between the both of them, the only one here with a beating heart is Danny.
(Between the two of them, the only heart here is one that's made between the two of them.)
Yellow zinnias. Daily remembrance. Of course. That doesn’t need any explanation, the writing is right there on the wall. Raised, so that even the blind may read it. It doesn’t need to be said what that means, Jason can hear it on the wind, in the grass, in the trees. His heart crumpling like a rag being twisted out to drain the dirty water soaking in it. 
I miss you.
I miss you. 
I miss you. 
I’m right here. Is what Jason wants to say. It’s what he should say. He should step out from behind the tree; should speak up and say something. To announce his presence. To do something to let Danny know that he’s speaking to someone who is more than a ghost (who feels like one anyways) and a corpse in the ground. 
Here I am. Here I am. HERE I AM.
His feet are gravebound to the dirt, his tongue cut out of his mouth and shoved into a jar. He feels, in some way, like he’s clawing out of his own grave again, but the dirt keeps falling and his arms are burning. His lungs are filled with more soil than air. He’s not getting out. 
Shame burns cigarette smoke in the back of his throat, shriveling up what little remains of his tar-filled heart. It should be his lungs, and it’s got that too. His feet are grave-bound to the floor.
Danny’s begun to cry, much to Jason’s horror. It should be more incentive for Jason to step out. He doesn’t. His best friend sniffles and scrubs at his face, soaking tears into his hoodie’s sleeve. “I’m sorry for not visitin’ sooner,” he says, voice spiraling with grief, “I don’t have an excuse. I should’ve come sooner. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” 
Don’t be, Jason thinks. Finds himself surprised by the truth of it. He should be upset. Five years and not a single visit. He abandoned him like everyone else. Except he didn’t. 
He’s not upset, he can’t be. Not when Danny’s finally here. Not when he’s still crying over him five years after the fact. Not when he’s going to put flowers on his grave that means he thinks of him daily. Not when Danny knows who killed him and wants him dead. 
Jason isn’t sure of what to think of that still. He wants Bruce to kill the Joker. More importantly he wants change in Gotham. He wants something to be done. He doesn’t know if Danny is being honest or not — and honesty doesn’t mean anything if someone doesn’t act on it.  
Danny continues talking to his grave, his voice full with sorrow. He talks about the gala, about running into Bruce and talking to him again. 
Jason listens in dutiful silence, soaking in Danny’s voice like a sponge. This is what he was expecting on the balcony; this easy conversation. Except it’s not a conversation, Danny is talking and not expecting a response. Jason feels like a stranger imposing on his own grave.He should slink away, let Danny have his peace on his own.
He refuses to move. He can’t bring himself to.
If he closes his eyes, he can pretend that he's sitting in front of him. He can pretend he’s thirteen again, with him and Danny crawled under the bed at the manor and trading all the stories they couldn’t fit in their letters. Danny tells him about another fight he had with Dash Baxter, eyes rolling but smug teeth flashing in a stifled smile. Then he tells him about something Sam and Tucker did; about one of Sam’s protests she led against the biology lab, and Tucker coding his PDA to play Doom. Easy, stupid middle schooler shit.
They’d sneak out to the balcony for their vices, Danny clutching a carton of cheap cigarettes in hand. Alfred always finds the ones Jason hides, so they usually share whenever Danny comes to visit. Jason tells him about Gotham Academy, about the people there and the classes. Prep school is another beast entirely, he likes seeing Danny’s reactions to the politics that goes on inside. 
Or, further back, they’re eight again, climbing a rickety fire escape to the rooftop and hanging their feet over the edge to find Batman and Robin. Danny was in the lead before he left for Amity Park. Jason remembers it clearly; they’d spent all night outside on that rooftop. 
Jason doesn’t close his eyes.
Jazz decided to change career goals; psychology’s become more of a hobby for her, and she’s going to go to med school instead. She’s thinking of doing an internship in Metropolis. Danny says he’s glad that it’s not Gotham, and when he told Jazz this, she laughed at him and told him that she was going to save that for later. 
She’s Gotham-touched too, she knows it’s blood just as much as Danny does. She wants to help the people there, but knows what Gotham’s like. She knows what she can and cannot do. Determination doesn’t equate skill, it just means the willingness to learn. 
Sam is staying in Amity Park and doing online classes for college, but Tucker got a full ride scholarship in software engineering. Danny’s thick with pride as he tells Jason’s headstone. Jason’s happy for him — they weren’t close, not like he and Danny were, but they were still friends. 
Jason soaks it all in; tell him more. He wants to know everything. 
"I don't know what I want to do." Danny says when he’s finally done talking about everyone else, his chin laying on his knees. “S’not like I can be an astronaut anymore, but there’s not anything I can see myself doing.”
The corner of his mouth coils, sardonic. “I’ve had five years to come up with somethin’ new, and I’ve come up with nothin’ at all.” He huffs. It’s a rough, bitter sound. Gotham has been steadily seeping back into his voice since he arrived in the graveyard, and now it comes out thick, like it never left. 
Danny’s face falls slack, like a puppet losing its strings, and he sinks into himself. “I guess I…” He exhales slow. “I’ve just been distracted.” A faraway glaze eclipses his eyes, and before they close, tears begin to bleed onto his eyelids. Again, grief mars the lines of his skin, settling into the curve of his mouth and threading between his brows like second nature.
Fuck, it’d be so easy for Jason to just step out. Move. His best friend is grieving. He could save him the pain of it and tell him now. Move, move, move. 
He doesn’t move.
For a while, there’s nothing but silence, just Jason hiding in his shame; a rat on the street would be bolder than him. Danny’s eyes don’t open. Eventually, his head tilts and slumps into his knees, Jason almost thinks, somehow, that he’s fallen asleep — but Danny’s hand threads into the hair on the back of his head, his finger beginning to tap an invisible beat into his skull. 
It’s the perfect opportunity for him to slip away. Danny’s distracted; lost in his thoughts. He won’t notice if Jason slinks off now. He could go and hide away on a roof nearby, ensuring that Danny gets his rightful privacy without leaving him to the teeth of the streets.  
Jason still doesn’t move. 
Danny begins to hum. It’s a low, breathy sound, and it shakes unevenly. There’s no discernible melody, but a breeze picks it up and travels it through the air anyway, rooting Jason to his spot. His throat swells, and his back sinks into the bark behind him. 
For a full minute, maybe two, Danny just hums. It’s a simple tune, but it fills the graveyard with the sound. When it goes up, he sharpens, when he goes down again, it flats, and sometimes it wobbles.  
When he lifts his head, when he finally opens his eyes, he’s still humming. Soon it dies down, and the next time Danny exhales, it comes out tumultuous and slow. His hand slips heavy from his head and drops into the grass. 
“Where’d you go, Jay?” Danny mutters, and despite his voice coming flat, he still sounds so tired. Danny’s eyes flick up, lifting off the grass to burn into the headstone. He’s not even looking at him, and yet Jason still freezes up, he still feels pinned under the weight of his stare. “I know you’re still out there, somewhere. I know it.” 
Jason breathes in shakily, a sting deep in the back of his throat. He gives no answer; guilt is an animal with claws, and it burrows deep into Jason’s heart to make itself a home between the tendons. He’s right here. 
Silence falls over them again, and this time it’s only the sound of the city around them that bleeds into the air. Danny stares at Jason’s grave, staring like he’s expecting an answer. He doesn’t get one. 
Danny sighs out low, and stands. His knees tremble slightly, and he rubs his sleeve into his eyes, catching the stray tears falling from his lashes. Like breaking a spell, Jason jolts from the fog of sorrow hanging in the air. 
“I’ll see you later, an’ I’ll make sure to bring you those flowers you like.” He tells him, and miraculously, a shadow of a smile flits over Danny’s mouth. “Y’better be here when I get back, alright? I’ll kick y’fucking ass if you’re not.” 
Jason bites back a huff, his mouth upturning in a wobble. I will, he thinks, and watches Danny trail out of the graveyard with his hands in his pockets. He waits until he’s disappeared behind the gate before following.   
Guilt is a thing with claws, and Jason leaves the cemetery with it eating his tongue. But he makes sure Danny gets back to his hotel safe before he slinks back to Crime Alley; he might not be a ghost anymore, but he can still trail behind Danny like he is. 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ayy i finally got chapter 2 of CFAU/TMWS edited/redone! It had to get rewritten because a lot of stuff became obsolete in the wake of the new chapter 1. and also it just kinda. fucking sucked imo lmao
(you can also read it here on my ao3!)
187 notes · View notes
nexusmonstrum · 2 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media
"I've actually grown attached..." -Philza   
1K notes · View notes
lieutenant-teach · 6 months ago
Text
Attachment vs love, Jedi morals and choice in Star Wars
The amount of people who are presumably ‘fans’ of SW, but a) don’t know SW definition of ‘attachment’ b) don’t know SW definition of ‘balance’ – is astounding. They don’t care about actually learning what SW themes are (Read some Lucas quotes, damn it! It’s not some hidden knowledge.), but quick to jump on pro-Jedi fans to slaughter their views and ‘prove you’re wrong, the Jedi are actually bad’. The ‘Acolyte’ series really doesn’t help! Just – why??? Why do people don’t learn material before engaging in conversations! Even when said material is given freely – read and learn, if you don’t know about Lucas’s definition of ‘attachment’ and ‘balance’! But nooooo, we won’t learn! Won’t even try! There’re whole archives of Lucas’s quotes and analyses of SW, right here, on Tumblr – why not have a look?
And with all this lack of studying we have stupidity like ‘Luke’s attachment saved everyone’ or ‘Jedi were flawed with their morality’ or ‘Jedi didn’t give therapy to Anakin’. I’ll explain once again (I’m far from the first to say it):
1.Luke save everyone with LOVE, and Anakin damned everyone with ATTACHMENT.
2. Jedi morality is right in SW world. They may make mistakes as individuals, but their morals are correct in GFFA. They don’t go enslaving planets and killing babies like Sith, who ARE bad guys.
3. Jedi philosophy is actually therapy exactly for Anakin’s case. Too bad he didn’t want to respond to this therapy – because one of main ideas of SW (as made up by Lucas, everyone agrees he knows better) is CHOICE. Both Anakin and Luke made their respective CHOICES. They knew what was bad and what was good. And both made their own CHOICES. (Any anyway, Prequel SW are movies for KIDS from late 1990s – early 2000s. No one showed therapy as we understand in now in 2020s, in such movies back in those days.)
So, if you’re in good faith and you just lack info, go @david-talks-sw, @smhalltheurlsaretaken – you’ll find everything about Jedi, attachment, etc. If in bad faith – still go read, this may challenge your views.
110 notes · View notes
drcaglestein-blog · 2 months ago
Text
When breaking generational curses, don’t expect support from those who passed it on.
29 notes · View notes
dailyjasontodd · 3 months ago
Note
Hi! I saw your last post's tags, and I was wondering, what was your favourite theory for Robin Lives? How did it get debunked? Somehow I haven't seen proper speculation for this comic, only criticism 🥲
Oh my very early first theory (like literally thought about it after reading the very first issue) was that Jason's therapist would kill the joker, there was a page that could've been really neat foreshadowing if it went that route, but well. -🐅
28 notes · View notes
dumbassdumas · 2 months ago
Text
I think if you weren’t rude or annoying and you weren’t one of the patients he was trying to entrap into committing murder Hannibal Lecter would actually be an amazing therapist.
22 notes · View notes
loonyloopylupin96 · 2 months ago
Text
My favourite part about this untitled Remus-therapy fic I'm writing (about 1/3 written now) is that I haven't planned what's coming up in the sessions themselves. I just have to sit there and imagine it's really happening.
I also think we made good progress in today's session and I'm proud of him.
20 notes · View notes
hardcorestitchcorps · 6 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
A few years ago, a professor acquaintance asked me to design this pattern for her to stitch and put in her office so I thought I'd finally make it myself. The pattern is free here and there's also a blank version if you wanted to use different flags or flags representing a different issue entirely.
I had mixed feelings stitching this right now, since where is a truly safe space other than the tiny one we might be able to curate for ourselves, if we're lucky. But we can never underestimate how someone seeing their flag, especially a less used one, in an office or public setting, can be a huge comfort. There's also this apt quote from Welcome to Night Vale:
“Are we living a life that is safe from harm? Of course not. We never are. But that’s not the right question. The question is are we living a life that is worth the harm?”
I'm not sure how accessible Flickr is for folks anymore, so I'm also putting the pattern under the cut here and some notes about colors.
Tumblr media
These are all DMC colors. Keep in mind that dye lots shift over time and please go by what you hold in your hand (maybe you've got a really old or really new skein of one of these) vs what I've said or what you see in the finished image picture (550 as the main darker purple shows up very purple in person but on my laptop monitor it is SO dark, so don't discount a choice based on your screen). Stitching again I might use 312 for the blue in the bisexual flag instead of 517, though realistically it likely makes little difference.
And yes, not every flag can be put here. There are only so many letters and I really wanted the umbrella rainbow flag to be dominant. I tested how it would look with the progress pride flag, but it didn't look great on the letters and would be redundant. You could always use the blank pattern file to change that and free up another letter for a flag I couldn't include.
If you're altering the pattern keep in mind some flags won't work well with certain letters. For example, the demisexual or demiromantic flags should be stitched on an E or F.
41 notes · View notes
caligvlasaqvarivm · 6 months ago
Note
wanna ask how you feel about the eridan bpd headcanon/theory(?? not sure what to call it!) you're so good at your character analysis and i'd love to see your outlook on it
Since I don't have a degree or any formal training in psychology, I feel deeply uncomfortable diagnosing characters. I've made an autism joke before but only because I'm on the spectrum. He's definitely traumatized and anxious, but I mean those as descriptors of his behavior rather than capital-D Diagnoses. I try to focus on those when I can - the cause and effect of cognition, self-image, and behavior - and those factors may very well match up with DSM criteria, but I try not to touch an actual diagnosis with a ten foot pole unless the author has explicitly stated that X character has Y condition.
#there's a variety of reasons for this#part of it is that im GROSSLY unqualified to be handing out diagnoses when it takes a full on PhD to do that in real life#part of it is that psychology is inchoate and we are still very much in murky waters#for example: complex ptsd isn't even IN the DSM yet#and iirc my therapist told me it was because theyre still figuring out how to classify it (attachment disorder? trauma disorder? etc.)#part of it is that (from my limited and undereducated understanding) there are diagnoses that you can assign by completing a checklist...#but some that require a hell of a lot more testing and ruling out other potential causes#and the cluster-b personalities are (IIRC) not even ones you're supposed to diagnose minors with#bc of fears of self fulfilling prophecy and because minors in general are still developing personalities In General#and like the fact that i can't say that with authority speaks to how unqualified i am to do any diagnosing right? hahaha#and part of it is just because like#unless the story is specifically About That and the author has stated so explicitly#i think diagnosing characters tends to put blinders on analysis#like if i were to seriously go 'eridan is autistic' then it would massively bias my reading and understanding of his character#and we have 0 indication that eridan was ever explicitly intended to be autistic or that the author was trying to do an autism specifically#that doesn't mean that the reading is invalid because like thats what death of the author means#all readings are technically valid including stuff the author didn't necessarily intend#but that's just not the way i like to engage with media and not the way i like to approach character analysis#because PERSONALLY it just feels kind of reductive - but also -#i'd wager MOST of us don't have degrees in psychology#so when i say 'X character has Y condition' it might mean something totally different to somebody reading my analysis#even people who have Y condition aren't exempt because a lot of mental illnesses differ from person to person#whereas if i explain “X character has Y thoughts and Z behaviors” there's no ambiguity in that#eridan struggles with noticing that people are suffering and with realizing that he should care#at least part of this is due to his horrific murder-filled upbringing which rendered empathy a detriment & so he learned to ignore it#it could be autism - but it could also be trauma -#or he might just be Like That without actually meeting the diagnostic criteria for autism#& you can't even technically be diagnosed with C-PTSD#or maybe he has a burgeoning personality disorder but you aren't supposed to DX those too early anyway#or maybe hes just 13. see what i mean hahaha. ive reached the 30 tag limit
27 notes · View notes
surrendertomywheeeeze · 3 months ago
Text
Moira and I have a lot in common: we're both smart, academically gifted, a bit awkward, can't really dance but still enjoy it, sarcastic, cynical, rather logical AND we're getting played on a daily basis.
15 notes · View notes
angria · 19 days ago
Text
Session went better than expected, even though I was quiet for most of it. T said something that really helped calm down the internal chaos.
He actually said it twice, trying to emphasize its impact: "I am not trying to decrease the attachment in here, between us. I want to increase and improve your attachment with others and, more importantly, with yourself. So that you do not feel as vulnerable in here. So that you do not believe all your sense of safety, attachment, and care comes from our time in session. The point is I am not trying to decrease anything in here; I want to increase out there and within yourself."
The distinction between decrease/increase clicked in my head and immediately could feel myself relaxing a little. A lot more was said, but that is the thing he wanted me to take away. That he doesn't have any agenda or some secret plan to change or decrease my attachment to him. His responsibility to me is to improve and build upon my sense of worthiness, safety, and attachment to self and others.
8 notes · View notes
qu0rky · 7 months ago
Text
Full Moon made me absolutely LOSE IT.
I was so sure the conflict would stem from miscommunication, Stolas gives Blitz the crystal and Blitz assumes he wants him out of his life but NO. Stolas made it loud and clear what he wanted, he explained why he was giving the crystal, explained that he actually wanted Blitz in his life but not under a forced transaction, and he STILL managed to get mad at him??? I hate you Blitz and i hate you more knowing that you remind me of myself and i would’ve done the exact same thing. Hopefully Stolas breaking down in front of him made him realize that he needs to change his perspective QUICK if he doesn’t wanna lose him.
32 notes · View notes
iced-depresso-macchiato · 10 days ago
Text
Okay so what are you all doing for Christmas now that your therapists are on holiday
(Asking for a friend)
9 notes · View notes
gimyung · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
wtf is "winning habits" "what is a leader" .. #hustle #dailygrind mindset mf liiike
go 🗣 seek 🗣 therapy 🗣 first !! 🙄
221 notes · View notes
annasellheim · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Part 3
27 notes · View notes