#remus lupin needs therapy

[loonyloopylupin96]

My favourite part about this untitled Remus-therapy fic I'm writing (about 1/3 written now) is that I haven't planned what's coming up in the sessions themselves. I just have to sit there and imagine it's really happening.

I also think we made good progress in today's session and I'm proud of him.

[rose-leviosa]

@moonysmicrofics June 1 - Ring - 197 words

A strip of moonlight cuts through the dark little room in the dark little inn. Remus lays curled on his side, stiff and miserable.

He stretches out his left hand, taking care not to wake Dora. His Dora. His wife.

The thought makes him sick.

Selfish bastard.

He swallows down the acid in his throat as the thin gold band around his finger catches the moonlight, winking at him. His accomplice in this unforgivable act.

His lungs begin to ache, but he will not give in to the panic. Not like before, when he had broken his bride's heart with his tears of regret.

She shifts behind him - his wife, his Dora - slipping an arm around his thin waist. She presses a kiss against the nape of his neck.

“I'm so happy,” she whispers sleepily, pulling him against her. Safe. Loved. Cherished.

He gives the ring a final glance before allowing himself to believe her lie.

[roseleviosaoriginal]

Penance - Year One, Chapter Twenty-Seven- Small Talk

Snippet

“So,” she ventured. “What is your relationship with Harry?”

Remus pulled an awkward face and shifted in his chair. To her relief, however, he answered. “I taught him several years ago at Hogwarts and he is Teddy’s godfather.” He looked a bit embarrassed.

“Godfather? You must be very close.”

Remus seemed to contemplate the statement, his brows knitting as his eyes peered sideways in search of an answer. Finally, he shook his head. “No,” he said, sounding half-asleep. “No, we aren't close at all.” He folded his hands and dropped his head. Elaine waited patiently.

After a long moment, Remus looked up, dry-eyed but mournful looking. “I should have - I had meant to be there for him. I tried, I suppose. It was easier before he knew, but then Sirius was there and -” to Elaine's relief, he appeared to realize that his words made no sense to her.

“I'm sorry, I won't bore you with the details of our non-existent relationship.” He forced a small laugh and smiled at her.

“Remus, I want to hear the details. That's why we're here, so you can talk through things like this.”

He maintained a smile but shook his head again. Elaine fought to keep her face calm as she imagined strangling the man.

“There's nothing to talk about, really,” he said, his tone light. “I didn't put in the effort I should have, so we are friendly with each other but nothing like - nothing like we should have been.” His false smile fell.

“Why do you say that?” Elaine prodded. “How ‘should’ you be?”

As she had half-expected, Remus tensed at the question and she could see in his eyes that he wished he could escape.

“Could we talk about something else?”

“I think it would be helpful to talk about this.”

“I would rather not.”

“Very well. Why did you make Harry Teddy's godfather, if you have a ‘non-existent relationship,’ as you say?”

For a moment, Elaine thought he might laugh, maybe even tell her “touché,” but he merely made a vaguely amused sound before looking deep in thought.

“I suppose it just felt like the right thing to do. Morale.” He clearly wasn't giving her the full story.

“You made him godfather to your only child for ‘morale’?” He actually did chuckle at that, a short burst of mirthless laughter.

“Well, I suppose it was more of an apology. He and I parted on bad terms and -” he seemed to decide that he had said too much. “Honestly, I am not sure why I made that decision. It seemed right at the time, but now - I am not sure how to talk him anymore. You can’t be ‘Professor Lupin’ to your kid’s godfather, can you? But that’s all I know how to be around him.”

Elaine was bursting inside with excitement. This was deeper than anything he had said in the entirety of their sessions so far.

“Do you want to be something - someone - else to him?”

She half-expected him to recoil, to tuck back into himself, but he surprised her by giving the matter some serious thought.

“I - yes, I do, but I am not sure what I want that to look like - do you know what I mean? He is my friend’s child and I am not sure we can ever be what you would call ‘friends’ but I want to be more than just his old professor.” He blushed and looked away. “Sorry.”

“No, this is wonderful! So, if you don't want to be friends, what do you want to be?”

He reddened even more and peered at his knees. He mumbled something that she didn't catch.

“Sorry?”

He sighed and looked up. “Back when he was little - before everything happened - I was ‘Uncle Moony.’ He -” he choked up momentarily, blinking back tears. “He called me ‘Moo-Moo’ or ‘My Moo.’” He looked like he had more on his mind than the name. “Anyway, I guess I want the relationship we were supposed to have before James and Lily died.” He looked away, still blinking rapidly.

“Uncle Remus?”

He let out a surprised laugh and gave her a cheeky grin. “Read much American literature?” She made a bemused face and he shook his head, still looking mildly amused. “Nevermind.”

“Is that something you think you can achieve with him? That sort of uncle-nephew relationship?”

He shook his head sadly. “Probably not. He's too grown up now, he's seen me in some pretty bad lights, and -” he seemed to decide that he had said too much and, as unexpectedly as he had opened up, Elaine saw his walls go back up.

It's okay, she assured herself. Progress.

[loonyloopylupin96]

~written October 31, 1981

Lily, talking to the group: Don’t add to the population, don’t subtract from the population. Don’t drink if you’re underage, and don’t apprate if you’re drunk. Stay out of the morgue, the Profit, and Azkaban.

Sirius, whispering: Well there go our plans for the night

Remus: Which part?

James: All of it

[tootiredtobekind]

If you know what we are talking about, congratulations, you need to go to therapy

(the photo is not mine, belonging to @/www.y0urmomsgf.com on tiktok)

[losver07]

there's two wolves inside me. one says "auuuuu" and the other one also says "auuuuu"

cause that's what fucking wolves say honestly what did you expect man get your shit together for fucks sake

[caspervi]

Wolfstar for the soul

[loonyloopylupin96]

Remus, sweet boy. We'll get you there!

@Sirius Black

[wolfstardaughter-jj]

Remus who hasn't slept in days: WHY CANT I SOLVE THIS EQUATION?!

Sirius, who's very concerned: have you ever considered sleeping?

Remus, glares: have you ever considered therapy?

James and Peter: *bring out the popcorn*

Peter: oh he did not just go there.

James: oh he did.

Sirius: ALL OF US NEEDS THERAPY! *Points at everyone*

[brigid-faye]

Wolfstar/marauders Drabble

(not part of something bigger, forgive me, this is as much teenage headspace as I can handle)

James is just barely 17 and two of his best friends have been acting weird, so he does something very stupid. As the moon is setting, he turns back into himself and - at a distance - follows the wolf and the dog up to the second floor of the shrieking shack. The rat squeals warnings; James ignores him and tip toes up the stairs.

Those two have always done this - Padfoot always chases Moony into an upstairs room to turn back, where Prongs (too big) and Wormtail (too small) can’t follow.

Despite what Lily says, James isn’t a complete idiot. He crouches in silence at the far end of the second floor hall until Remus’ cries of pain end. It sounds much worse to his human ears than it does to his animagus ones.

He’s starting to feel ill, but curiosity wins out. He sneaks quietly to the half open door and peaks inside.

Remus is collapsed on the floor, unconscious. Sirius is on the floor beside him, gingerly tucking an old blanket over him. Sirius is on his side, up on one elbow; Remus’ head is on his forearm.

James can’t think. He’d always imagined Remus was the one who wrapped himself up before James and Peter reached them.

James had guessed that something was going on with these two. The way they look at each other, the times they disappear, the intensity of their fall out the year before…

But he hadn’t expected this. They are teenagers; he’s expecting a crush. The aching tenderness in Sirius’ face right now reminds James of his parents, that kind of expansive, lived-in love he thinks he’d be lucky to grow into in a couple decades, not now.

James holds his breath and backs away. He goes back downstairs and says nothing to Peter, and pretends to be surprised six month later when Sirius comes to him terrified and defiant, and says he has something to tell him.

[loonyloopylupin96]

omg

happy I-seem-to-have-written-30k-words day!

four chapters left to write (although I have a tendency to write in two at a time depending upon how I'm feeling)

this is wild

I'm so excited to eventually share this

[loonyloopylupin96]

Let's be real - canon Remus needs to go to therapy too

Remus, I like.

Fanon Remus, I dislike. Like so much, that guy really sucks. Needs to go to therapy, counseling, and anger management.

~

[rose-leviosa]

@moonysmicrofics - June 11 - Image - 24 words

He has spent a lifetime

Perfecting this image

Of soft tones and carefully mended jumpers

To hide the scars that have never stopped hurting

[roseleviosaoriginal]

The Promise

This is a companion piece to Chapter 27 ("Small Talk") of Penance - Year One, but can be read as a stand-alone.

The room was spinning.

Faces, familiar but unplaceable, floated in and out of his vision. Some of them spoke to him but their words became jumbled somewhere between his ears and his addled brain.

He stood in the back of the crowded little chapel, swaying on unsteady legs and trying to look somewhat sober. Two coffins rested at the front of the church, their lids flung open, a long line of mourners queued to say final farewells.

A small, cool hand grasped his own and he did not resist as it pulled him to a side room.

Alice gently eased him down onto a low sofa and Frank pressed a steaming cup of coffee to his reluctant lips. Remus shook his head, immediately regretting doing so as the world tilted in a nauseating rush.

“Come on, mate,” Frank said in a voice that made Remus want to punch him in the face. He would have shouted not to patronize him if he weren't afraid of being sick if he opened his mouth.

Alice's chilled fingers brushed the hair from his eyes, relieving some of the heat that he had not realized had built in his face.

“Please, Remus. For James and Lily, alright? They wouldn't want you to be like this.” Her voice was teary and something about her tone, more so than her words, caused him to crack open his lips just enough to permit Frank to tip the bitter coffee into his mouth.

“That's it,” Frank said, sounding again as though he was talking to his baby.

When he finished the coffee, Alice encouraged lukewarm water down Remus’ throat. With each passing moment, he became more aware of himself and the scene around him. They were in some sort of parlor - perhaps for the vicar between services - where a small table had been set with hot beverages and paper cups. The most ugly set of curtains he had ever seen hung from the only window.

He tried to focus his eyes on Alice but he had to turn away. He couldn't bear the pity he saw etched into her round face.

“Drink up,” Frank said encouragingly. Remus’ temper flared.

Continued...

[messervixen]

Just listened to the lyrics specifically of Bohemian Rhapsody and 0/10 would not recommend. Absolutely awful. If you kin Sirius Black AT ALL do yourself a favor and never go with 500 feet of that song because it is rough. TCOPTP Sirius had every right to start sobbing the first time he heard it because it’s genuinely horrific.

[marauders-incorrect-quotes-0]

James: I can't believe I lost it

Remus: What? Your trust?

Sirius: Your sanity?

Regulus: Your will to live?

James: I was talking about my glasses, but we're having a talk after this.