#remus lupin needs therapy

[loonyloopylupin96]

My favourite part about this untitled Remus-therapy fic I'm writing (about 1/3 written now) is that I haven't planned what's coming up in the sessions themselves. I just have to sit there and imagine it's really happening.

I also think we made good progress in today's session and I'm proud of him.

[rose-leviosa]

Penance, Chapter Twenty-Four - Elaine

Snippet

The man could not have looked more uncomfortable if he had tried. She could always tell which patients came to her under pressure from family and friends, and Remus Lupin was firmly in that category.  

He sat, fiddling anxiously with his sleeve, appearing to be reading the titles of the volumes on her bookshelf.  

“Hello Mr. Lupin. May I call you Remus?” He nodded politely, if distractedly.  

“My name is Elaine, it is lovely to meet you.” She offered her hand, which he shook with some trepidation.  

“I understand that therapy is a new concept for many wizards. Do you have a general idea of what we will be doing in our time together?”  

He nodded, then spoke in a hoarse voice. “Yes. Yes, I understand the concept.”  

“Excellent. I would like to start with getting an idea of what brought you here, and then get a bit of a background. Is that okay with you?” He nodded again, now looking as though he was counting the stone blocks in the ceiling.  

She waited patiently for him to begin. It took several seconds for him to realize he was expected to start talking.  

“Yes, well. I am here because Minister Shacklebolt told me to.” His words were snappish, and he must have realized it because he immediately looked at her apologetically. “I am terribly sorry. I would be lying if I said I was here of my own accord, but that is hardly your fault.” She took a note on his overly formal way of speaking and quick apology.  

“Yes. Do you know why Minister Shacklebolt asked you to come here?”  

Remus look away again and muttered what sounded like “ he didn't ask.

[loonyloopylupin96]

~written October 31, 1981

Lily, talking to the group: Don’t add to the population, don’t subtract from the population. Don’t drink if you’re underage, and don’t apprate if you’re drunk. Stay out of the morgue, the Profit, and Azkaban.

Sirius, whispering: Well there go our plans for the night

Remus: Which part?

James: All of it

[hellisagemini]

If you know what we are talking about, congratulations, you need to go to therapy

(the photo is not mine, belonging to @/www.y0urmomsgf.com on tiktok)

[caspervi]

Wolfstar for the soul

[wolfstardaughter-jj]

Remus who hasn't slept in days: WHY CANT I SOLVE THIS EQUATION?!

Sirius, who's very concerned: have you ever considered sleeping?

Remus, glares: have you ever considered therapy?

James and Peter: *bring out the popcorn*

Peter: oh he did not just go there.

James: oh he did.

Sirius: ALL OF US NEEDS THERAPY! *Points at everyone*

[loonyloopylupin96]

Remus, sweet boy. We'll get you there!

@Sirius Black

[brigid-faye]

Wolfstar/marauders Drabble

(not part of something bigger, forgive me, this is as much teenage headspace as I can handle)

James is just barely 17 and two of his best friends have been acting weird, so he does something very stupid. As the moon is setting, he turns back into himself and - at a distance - follows the wolf and the dog up to the second floor of the shrieking shack. The rat squeals warnings; James ignores him and tip toes up the stairs.

Those two have always done this - Padfoot always chases Moony into an upstairs room to turn back, where Prongs (too big) and Wormtail (too small) can’t follow.

Despite what Lily says, James isn’t a complete idiot. He crouches in silence at the far end of the second floor hall until Remus’ cries of pain end. It sounds much worse to his human ears than it does to his animagus ones.

He’s starting to feel ill, but curiosity wins out. He sneaks quietly to the half open door and peaks inside.

Remus is collapsed on the floor, unconscious. Sirius is on the floor beside him, gingerly tucking an old blanket over him. Sirius is on his side, up on one elbow; Remus’ head is on his forearm.

James can’t think. He’d always imagined Remus was the one who wrapped himself up before James and Peter reached them.

James had guessed that something was going on with these two. The way they look at each other, the times they disappear, the intensity of their fall out the year before…

But he hadn’t expected this. They are teenagers; he’s expecting a crush. The aching tenderness in Sirius’ face right now reminds James of his parents, that kind of expansive, lived-in love he thinks he’d be lucky to grow into in a couple decades, not now.

James holds his breath and backs away. He goes back downstairs and says nothing to Peter, and pretends to be surprised six month later when Sirius comes to him terrified and defiant, and says he has something to tell him.

[messervixen]

Just listened to the lyrics specifically of Bohemian Rhapsody and 0/10 would not recommend. Absolutely awful. If you kin Sirius Black AT ALL do yourself a favor and never go with 500 feet of that song because it is rough. TCOPTP Sirius had every right to start sobbing the first time he heard it because it’s genuinely horrific.

[loonylupin2]

Remus hasn’t seen sirius in 14 years

And the first thing he says to him is

“So finally the outside reflects the madness within”

And your fucking boyfriend responds with “oh and you would know a lot about madness wouldn’t you Remus?”

Is this how homosexuals talk to one another? Like what the fuck is this

[loonyloopylupin96]

Let's be real - canon Remus needs to go to therapy too

Remus, I like.

Fanon Remus, I dislike. Like so much, that guy really sucks. Needs to go to therapy, counseling, and anger management.

~

[loonyloopylupin96]

omg

happy I-seem-to-have-written-30k-words day!

four chapters left to write (although I have a tendency to write in two at a time depending upon how I'm feeling)

this is wild

I'm so excited to eventually share this

[rose-leviosa]

Penance - Year One, Chapter Twenty-Seven- Small Talk

Snippet

“So,” she ventured. “What is your relationship with Harry?”

Remus pulled an awkward face and shifted in his chair. To her relief, however, he answered. “I taught him several years ago at Hogwarts and he is Teddy’s godfather.” He looked a bit embarrassed.

“Godfather? You must be very close.”

Remus seemed to contemplate the statement, his brows knitting as his eyes peered sideways in search of an answer. Finally, he shook his head. “No,” he said, sounding half-asleep. “No, we aren't close at all.” He folded his hands and dropped his head. Elaine waited patiently.

After a long moment, Remus looked up, dry-eyed but mournful looking. “I should have - I had meant to be there for him. I tried, I suppose. It was easier before he knew, but then Sirius was there and -” to Elaine's relief, he appeared to realize that his words made no sense to her.

“I'm sorry, I won't bore you with the details of our non-existent relationship.” He forced a small laugh and smiled at her.

“Remus, I want to hear the details. That's why we're here, so you can talk through things like this.”

He maintained a smile but shook his head again. Elaine fought to keep her face calm as she imagined strangling the man.

“There's nothing to talk about, really,” he said, his tone light. “I didn't put in the effort I should have, so we are friendly with each other but nothing like - nothing like we should have been.” His false smile fell.

“Why do you say that?” Elaine prodded. “How ‘should’ you be?”

As she had half-expected, Remus tensed at the question and she could see in his eyes that he wished he could escape.

“Could we talk about something else?”

“I think it would be helpful to talk about this.”

“I would rather not.”

“Very well. Why did you make Harry Teddy's godfather, if you have a ‘non-existent relationship,’ as you say?”

For a moment, Elaine thought he might laugh, maybe even tell her “touché,” but he merely made a vaguely amused sound before looking deep in thought.

“I suppose it just felt like the right thing to do. Morale.” He clearly wasn't giving her the full story.

“You made him godfather to your only child for ‘morale’?” He actually did chuckle at that, a short burst of mirthless laughter.

“Well, I suppose it was more of an apology. He and I parted on bad terms and -” he seemed to decide that he had said too much. “Honestly, I am not sure why I made that decision. It seemed right at the time, but now - I am not sure how to talk him anymore. You can’t be ‘Professor Lupin’ to your kid’s godfather, can you? But that’s all I know how to be around him.”

Elaine was bursting inside with excitement. This was deeper than anything he had said in the entirety of their sessions so far.

“Do you want to be something - someone - else to him?”

She half-expected him to recoil, to tuck back into himself, but he surprised her by giving the matter some serious thought.

“I - yes, I do, but I am not sure what I want that to look like - do you know what I mean? He is my friend’s child and I am not sure we can ever be what you would call ‘friends’ but I want to be more than just his old professor.” He blushed and looked away. “Sorry.”

“No, this is wonderful! So, if you don't want to be friends, what do you want to be?”

He reddened even more and peered at his knees. He mumbled something that she didn't catch.

“Sorry?”

He sighed and looked up. “Back when he was little - before everything happened - I was ‘Uncle Moony.’ He -” he choked up momentarily, blinking back tears. “He called me ‘Moo-Moo’ or ‘My Moo.’” He looked like he had more on his mind than the name. “Anyway, I guess I want the relationship we were supposed to have before James and Lily died.” He looked away, still blinking rapidly.

“Uncle Remus?”

He let out a surprised laugh and gave her a cheeky grin. “Read much American literature?” She made a bemused face and he shook his head, still looking mildly amused. “Nevermind.”

“Is that something you think you can achieve with him? That sort of uncle-nephew relationship?”

He shook his head sadly. “Probably not. He's too grown up now, he's seen me in some pretty bad lights, and -” he seemed to decide that he had said too much and, as unexpectedly as he had opened up, Elaine saw his walls go back up.

It's okay, she assured herself. Progress.

[vomits0cutely]

Pete: what would you wish for if you had three wishes from a genie, and you can’t wish for more wishes, more money or to bring people back from the dead

Pete: I’d wish for everytime I’ve ever wanted

Lily: ..okay, im feeling some undertones

Marlene: I’ve had some pretty bad wishes icl..

Remus: cause have you ever had a bad thought though, like ‘I wish I was dead’ or something?

James: or like you wish you could disappear?

Mary: exactly

Peter: ..no.

Sirius: I try to think positive..

Dorcas, Barty, Evan & Regulus: [who just wanted to stop by] . . .

[losver07]

I WROTE SOME WOLSTAR YAYYY (idea from this post)

tw: religious trauma, internalised homophobia & mild swearing

But What If

“Moony?”

He lays in the silence for a few seconds, part of him hoping he was heard, part of him wishing the darkness would swallow him whole.

“What is it?,” comes the answer, muffled by the sound of bedsheets ruffling with movement. Remus is now looking at him, face pale in the moonlight. He takes a deep breath.

“What if they're right?”

The werewolf furrows his brows, still half-asleep and confused. For a second, he thinks he might be talking about quidditch, or something related to one of their classes, but he doesn't find anything mildly coherent, so lets Sirius speak.

“Who?”

“The muggles,” he whispers back, letting his gaze wonder anywhere but the other boy's face. Right now, he can't bear to see Remus and talk to him at the same time without completely breaking down. And he doesn't want that. “What if there is someone up there? Not God, just... someone. Something.”

Remus, now aware of what's about to come, sits up on the bed and casts a silencing spell. He still whispers, however, when he asks:

“Does that scare you?”

Sirius closes his eyes, trying to distract himself, like one would from a bleeding wound.

“It shouldn't, shouldn't it?”

Remus forces himself not to give him a lecture, not to tell him about the church convincing its members trough fear and torture, about the inquisitions and persecutions. He figures Sirius already knows everything he needs to know. He's seen the books on his nightstand.

“It's okay to be worried,” he tries. Sirius doesn't buy it.

“Yeah,” he laughs, the volume of his voice rising along with his sarcasm, “especially if you've broken, like, every single fucking rule good people are supposed to follow.”

“But you love breaking rules,” Remus smiles, trying to ease the tension. “It's what you do, you can't be blamed for it.”

“But what if I can? What if these rules actually matter? What if I deserve to be punished?”

That's when Remus realises, he actually believes in what he says. He's not scared it might be true, he really thinks it is, that some day he will have to face everything he's ever done wrong, and deal with the consequences.

“You don't.”

The problem, he recognises, is that even though Sirius is an angel directly descended from heaven, in the mirror of his mind he sees a demon.

“No, you don't,” he insists. “If they are right, I will die and go to hell and you will go to heaven and I won't be able to see you again. They won't even have to torture me, I'll just be left alone on a corner thinking about you, and it will be enough to make me regret everything I've done, to everyone.”

He's crying now. They both are. Each one staring at a different point in the bed curtains, trying to make their breathing sound even.

“Padfoot...” Remus whispers. He wishes he could hug Sirius, but doesn't reach out. He can't.

“I don't want that, Moony,” the long-haired boy says, with a voice as thin as a thread.

“I know,” Remus answers. “It's okay. That's not going to happen, okay?”

He's not sure he believes it now. But he has to. He needs to.

“I'm sorry,” Sirius whispers, voice wet with tears.

“It's fine,” he keeps promising, and finally finds the courage to lay back down, next to Sirius, and pull him into a hug.

“I'm so sorry, Moony...” Remus hears as he buries his face in a sea of black curls, brushing against his cheek to remind him where he is, to make him forget about what could come after this. He is here, they both are. And that's enough for now.

“Me too,” he says. His shoulder is getting wet with the salty tears of a pair of sea-blue eyes, and he thanks whatever God is seeing them for it. He's grateful he can cry now, he can hug and he can worry and he can love. He's glad he's afraid of losing this, because otherwise he may not try as hard, feel it as much as he does now.

And that's good. That's the only good that matters.

“I love you,” Sirius sniffs, holding on to Remus as if he were about to lose him. And maybe he is. Maybe they'll lose each other, but for now they have the chance to fear together. And that's enough for now.

“I love you too.”

[ernestnott]

Currently reading Mastermind by pieceofchocolate and it’s a hell of a ride !

Don’t lie people ! It’s bad for your heart !!