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based on that beginning of season scuffle they had, i made it more dramatic :3
#ashswag#reddoons#lifesteal smp#lssmp#lifesteal fanart#ashswag fanart#reddoons fanart#junos-3ds#swagdoons#sorry i keep forgetting about tumblr#at least im posting a lot more than before
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im gonna start posting fanfic recs btw whenever i find good ones. both here and my (awfully barren) 18+ account. because there are so many good fics out there with so few hits and fewer kudos and sometimes no comments period and it SUCKS because i REALLY LIKE THEM A LOT.. and i hope that by linking them here and yelling at everyone to COMMENT DAMMIT they might actually do it
seriously though any comment means a lot. most people who read a fic don’t even give a kudos. even if the fic wasn’t top tier, if you didn’t dislike it, hand over some kudos!! and if you liked it, comment!!!! even if the comment is one singular heart emoji it will be appreciated. if the comment just says “great fic!” the author will be happy. your comment doesn’t have to be this long winded gushing or analysis.
so many authors quit writing or lose motivation because the comments are few and far in between or just sometimes nonexistent. trust me when i say authors don’t care about how long or cool or smart sounding your comment is i promise!!!
i hope that mmmaybe recommending fics and telling people to comment might help fics i really like get more support maybe. and i, points at you reading this, hope that you will listen!!!at least a little….at least sum kudos….
#if u have the ability to reply to my reblog saying how much you loved the fic i recommended comment on the fic itself so the author can see!#especially since the rise of ai writing and seeing ai fics out there can be disheartening#make sure you let your writers know you appreciate them#you never know they might one day write a sequel bc your comment touched them#or might get the motivation to make more works.#(but don’t just comment bc you expect something out of it btw. sometimes the author might be too intimidated to reply ive seen that before)#im a huge yapper. if you can’t tell. lmfao.#and i mostly comment on guest. like 99% of the time because the fics are either really embarrassing#or i get nervous about them knowing me/finding my tumblr and thinking im cringw#bc i admire authors so much. and I get that nervousness! given I experience it!!! but guest mode EXISTS!!! most work allows you to comment#on guest mode!! the author CANT see the email you use for it!!! the only reason they even ask is to give you notifs if theres a reply to it!#a comment is still a comment even if on guest or an alt or your main#even if the fic is embarrassing shameful depraved smut you can log out and comment on guest. even if it’s embarrassing#because the author still worked HARD. it’s so hard to write. people don’t give enough credit to fic authors who do it for free#i had an account (now super abandoned) that had over 400k words. and that didn’t include wips#i reallg do struggle to write because i took a break for so long!!! i can write but not nearly as much as I used to!!! and it sucks!!!#support your authors guys. 1k words is an hour for the first draft at MINIMUM and another hour for revision and editing. and people get#pissy if a fic chapter is less than 3-4k words for some reason. that’s 6-8 hours of work at MINIMUM. likely so much more because there’s#also plotting and brainstorming and So. Much. Editing. stressing out over words and sentence structure. it takes so much time out of your#day. the only oneshot i have posted on this account is 2460 words. and it took me SEVEN HOURS#seven hours!!!! that’s a lot!!!! and for authors that have school or demanding jobs that kind of time is hard to come by!!!!!#and I hope i have convinced at least one of you to listen and go okay you know what. i will. because even if it’s a silly comment it’s loved#tldr support your local fanfic authors of you will be so stabbed. by me#fanfiction#fanfic#archive of our own#ao3#comment on fics#wick fic recs#that’s the rec tag btw. wow custom tags AGAIN i know. im doing what i thought i never would
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control (2019) + king of pain by the police
#art#digital#grayscale#control#control remedy#control 2019#hi *explodes*#<- hiss charged voice#ok but seriously im pretty stoked about these. not all of them are my absolute best work but a lot of them turned out really well and more#importantly i actually fucking finished all of them (only took about 2 months longer than i thought it would lmao)#ummm notes. all of these were done with the same single brush for everything you see and most were done on only 2 layers + one for the text#the first 3 were done first in order and the last one was done last i dont entirely remember the order of the rest#also i listened to the song exploder episode on the house of cards theme probably at least a dozen times while working on these#just felt like it set the mood well#anything else interesting i have to share about the process? dont think so... look out for some alternate color versions#in the next few days as i endeavor to figure out gradient maps i suppose#well thats it. very much hope this gets even half as much traction as last weeks memes due to the aforementioned 3 months spent working#but we'll see. we shall see.#yayyyyy posting art before bedtime <3
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i think im in too deep w charmander duo. bc i was thinking abt how flame thinks very little abt bans, and how theres a genuine possibility he helps the Guardians ban people not even bc he thinks bans should matter, but just like for fun bc he doesnt think of it that seriously. which led me to thinking "wait but pangi could help him change his mind ^-^" nd now im just thinking of an au where pangi does Just That .
#lifesteal spoilers#charmander duo#pangi#flamefrags#i gen think only losing mane or pangi could help change his perspective tbh#i don't see pangi doing this realistically but that's why its an au :D#bc to me in this au its like worst case scenario of flame banning more than just already banned players#maybe not at the end of s6 but approaching the end#so thats why i think pangi would be more okay banning himself to help flame see things differently#i think hes aware zam and derap seperately will Not let him stay banned too bc zam is zam#and derap would stop at nothing to revive pangi like theyre buddies!!#but he would at least say he wont come back to emphasize how permanent it is and how no matter who is banned#it will matter to at least one person. itll impact SOMEONE. just like pangi is intending for his own life to matter to flame#tho if pangi did ban himself i think itd upset zam and derap a lot ToT#like esp if its for the guy whos been banning other people. even if it does change flame its like#itd feel like a loss nonetheless for the team intent on keeping everyone alive#esp bc its someone derap actually cares abt#sry idk if zam cares abt pangi like that which is why im focusing on cringe and charmanders#LOL#ik empires are a thing but zams way of treating pangi def doesnt show his care tbh#like the only people who actually seem to value pangi on ls is derap and flame#and even they would never choose him first#but they care enough that I think pangi being banned would impact them the most#sorry for angst posting on christmas#it might happen again#later#it depends. im in a Mood.#n e ways! im gonna nap before my social obligations ^-^
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as a little treat i am sharing with you little Aya doodles I've done over the last few days to unwind ww just little expressions based on lines in-game because those are always fun to draw. nothing too special just biscuit
it's Aya because upon doing bizarrely throughout playthroughs of the game for still unspecified project purposes I've gained a soft spot for her she's my daughter now my mental tier list on my favorite characters is so confusing right now
#re:kinder#fanart#aya re:kinder#aya hibino#i state shes my daughter NOW because before i didnt pay too big of a mind to her#but honestly in each different playthrough of this game i gain new appreciation for each character#because fun fact ryou was my favorite character at first just because he seemed nice and was a healer and was nice#second playthrough brought in rei and shunsuke in my mind because they ate it up wirh their roles in the story#meanwhile as time passed yuuichi started to grow on me as i realized he was a little too relatable BASICALLY THINGS LIKE THAT#and spoilers for the unspecified project mentioned in the text just because i feel like it#i also did this because having a transcript of every line just spurred me on becquse of how easy it made things#its much more fun to start doing these kind of line based doodles when you dont have to manually go througj hours of gameplay to find stuff#so just being ablr to ctrl f through a document made me very glad HEUEHEHEBEHR#im still working on it it needs proofreading and polishing on some sides but overall it should be here soon i hope#if anyones interested in it do let me know HUEHEHEBRB i will post it regardless but it would be nice to know if anyone is interested#ANYWAY#as to why Aya seems to have a purse when her sprite doesnt its because her equipment mentions her carrying a yellow pouch#its meant to be that!!!#she looks very goofy with it on made me giggle ngl#(as in. amusement)#it adds more interest to her visual design so its nice to have it there im glad its there#OH YEAH SOME COMMENTARY ON ONE OF HER LINES HERE THAT REALLY PIQUED MY INTEREST#if sayaka dies and shes there to see it (thus. you chose to bring her with you) she has this line#where it implies that shes afraid of dying which makes things sad when she's suicidal#she already states i think her desire is more to disappear than to die exactly but even then it's quite sad#like even if she wants to disappear with how gloomy she's feeling and all the things going around with her parents#shes just a little girl who doesn't want to die😭😭#it really adds a sense of realism to how depression is tackled in game at least for me#that when one is depressed and suicidal a lot of the time it's the wish for this state of suffering to end rather than to actually die#SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER ITS ONE OF THE THINGS THAT UPPED MY APPRECIATION FOR HER
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theories as to where Grace got the cigarette she was smoking after fucking Max's ghost:
she has actually secretly been an active smoker for a long time and always carries a pack with her
she bought a pack of cigarettes when she was on the run from the cops because she was stressed, and figuring that she had already disappointed the Lord by touching herself and lying to the police and dismembering a body, decided that she might as well relieve that stress by taking up smoking
Max died with a pack of cigs and a lighter on him and they stayed with him when he turned ghost and Grace pocketed them from his clothes after they had sex
she just found them in the school or on the ground somewhere after the Lords in Black meeting, and perhaps her mind made the association between sex and cigarettes and that's how she came up with the idea of giving up her chastity to end Max's reign of terror
Grace had immediately thought of giving up her virginity as the sacrifice after the Lords in Black meeting, and the entire time Steph and Pete are running away and tearfully coming to terms with Steph having to kill Pete to stop Max, Grace is running around the school or off to a drug store for cigarettes because she felt having a smoke after was that necessary
#grace chasity#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#seriously where did she get that cigarette ive been wondering abt it a lot#her being a secret smoker doesnt seem very in character to me#but weirdly i feel like it makes the most logical sense?#itd easily explain why she has cigarettes on her and she seemed pretty comfortable with smoking#she wasnt like coughing or anything. like she couldve done it before at least once.#2nd most plausible to me was maybe that it was actually max's?? but idk doesn't seem that much more plausible than some of the other ones#her looking for cigs could explain where she was when the steph/pete stuff was happening but not necessarily explain the other way around#though maybe she did think it was necessary. grace almost definitely didn't have accurate sex ed and was sheltered#maybe thru like the media that she could watch she just believed smoking after was the expected thing#or some church sex ed lesson she had that combined abstinence only and no smoking messages#idk. it's 4 am. i dont know what im doing.#my posts
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First round of the collar bracket is over! time to put our winners up against each other to see what will be the one true collar for our dress!
i wont add all the explanations here again, but if you want to remind yourself of whats what, heres the links to the first rounds:
Wing Lapel/Revere Shawl
and quickly, since its been a while, heres a link all the way back to the original post in case you might want to read the introduction all over again
#figured id include the link to the first post bc. its been a week now n i dont expect u to remember every post u see#sewing#design#crafting#dress making#pattern making#polls#vintage fashion#sewist#was this a success? uhhhh. well im happy enough with the ones that won to move onto round two at least#it was all a reasonable majority on the win side even if the numbers were. a lot lower than previous rounds of this game#(its not that i care abt numbers its more. am i missing people who played before with this? i dont know. it makes me worry about my choices
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#absolutely do not want to argue because i get where the post is coming from with but im gonna give some thots#re: dennis autism!!!! ok!!!!!#ive talked about it before but there is WAY more to him being autistic than just the buzzer noises. when i first watched that i was like#is THIS really why people hc him as autistic. :/ and i get it! i do! i think he has misophonia inherited from glenn personally#its actually why i captioned the noise sensitive den gifsets as that rather than just. autism.#but personally i see his scripted social interactions and i go. yeah. me. me fuckin too.#and his outbursts. which are VERY personally relatable to me#i have uh. basically the same triggers? very similar triggers at least#i think dennis' neurodivergency presents itself differently because of his upbringing and thats why a lot of ppl go ???? when you say.#'yea i think den's autistic actually'#and like i said i was absolutely like. what the hell are people talking about. he's not autistic#but uh. on rewatches? hm.#dennis quite literally masks almost 24/7#charlie has no qualms about being perceived as like. weird. but dennis masks SO hard. SSSSSSOOOOO hard#i once saw a post like. charlie has boy autism and dennis has girl autism which honestly fucking hate that but its... kiiiind of true#ASD presents itself differently in adults depending on early social conditioning#mac fights gay marriage. group dates. new wheels. dee day. celebrity booze. all the big ones. all the hits.#look how he acts when he goes off script and is forced to speak off the cuff#the way glenn describes him as being very emotional but unable to adequately express his emotions too like. yeah. same.#theres so much more than the noise sensitivity#i could go on and on about how many fucking boxes he ticks but i honestly hate that shit. i know how autism works and that bitch is autisti#im going to refrain from commenting on the reasons why i feel charlie is more acceptably hced as autistic vs dennis because mmmmm but#dennis being 'hypersexual' (not about the sex. at all) and socially adept (has scripts/systems. charlie is more emotionally intelligent)#smells a lil stinky. smells a little bit like infantilization on charlie's part.#ada speaks#ok ill spare you guys. someday ill write a proper meta on this. ive talked about it before but.
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i need to remake my cup bros ref… both cup and human designs… it’s been almost a year(?) and i’ve developed the headcanons and i would like to share with the class!!! (i wrote thirty tags. Please help me)
#my little hc i kinda showed in the refs but didn’t point out: cuphead’s handle appears broken/in human form his ear is halved#cause he has microtia (that also affects the eustachiantube/middle ear). basically i am a HoH cuphead truther#also to add onto that i think he has poor auditory processing issues cause i also see him as AuDHD#double also. while he would use ASL on a bad hearing day i think regularly he also uses home signs to express words/concepts#autism-related btw. it’s actually a bit visible in insert cuphead media (to me at least LOL) that cuphead expresses a lot of body language#so not liking conversation oral or signed as well as replacing oral words w home signs is in character. at least to my headcanon whatever#floats your boat!#OH! plus his split upper lip that i draw him with isn’t related to the microtia. he just roughhouses and chipped/tore his lip open when he#was younger#cuphead is also a trans boy. it feels right to me LOL#even back in 2017 when i barely knew the game or also much about trans people i saw cuphead and was like hm. hm!#tbh he just pawned his clothes onto mugman. who i’ve also changed my hc for i see him more as bigender than a cis boy now#LOL. i cast bi on mugman. sorry buddy#OH HIM TOO. im so sorry mugsy i have like two headcanons for you 😭😭😭#she uses he/she 2 me. i like casting personal parts of myself onto mugman even if i gravitate more towards cuphead/chalice#i see him as a bi ace as well. and a hopeless romantic. i don’t ship uhh i don’t remember what it’s called#i don’t ship cala maria X mugman (respect though) cause i see the cups as kids and i’m also a hilda X maria shipper LOL#but in the show. i will be real that she is a hopeless romantic. Look at that dork#FORGOT TO MENTION. i am a cuphead aroace truther to my grave. KEEP THAT MUSHY ROMANCE OUT OF MY HIGH SEAS ADVENTURE!!!!#like i said w cuphead before mugman is AuDHD (they share. many genes LMFAO)#however the difference is that they express it in different ways; while cuphead’s is more linked to his hearing/social behavior#mugman’s is more related to her emotions. i see it through my headcanon colored glasses that especially in the show mugman has more#meltdowns between the two cups#he has high emotional sensitivity both in positive and negative ways; former as in being strongly attached to cuphead and latter as in#more prone to meltdowns as well as being very literal#which isn’t a bad thing of course. mugman we are shaking hands so hard we are the same#OK that’s all the ones i want to share right now. i also haven’t shared her human or cup design i did but i’m workshopping chalice!!!!!!#i am leaving her out intentionally she deserves her own post because i luv her so much#ok post over. twenty minutes dedicated to autism about the twins out of the trio#cuphead
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i really find it interestin that you can kinda clock an artist's age based on how self-deprecatin they are lol
#its the uh. 'OMG THIS SUCKS SO BAD!!! SAWRRY' attitude#which is like. yeah. i get it#and im an adult rn and i also dunk on my art#but i feel like the way an adult dunks on their art vs how a teen does it is. noticeable#adults usually are like 'eh. this kinda sucks but w/e' (at least i am in this camp)#teens are just way more mean to themselves and dont shut up about how much their art 'sucks'#i was there before so i understand#but i think. ppl need to realize. when theyre overly self-deprecatin and put themselves down a lot it becomes annoying#which i know is very harsh of me to say#i used to be there so i know that feelin of insecurity but MAN#once you mature more you realize that expressing yourself in such a way is kinda cringe!#PLEASE just practice being kind to yourself#i think the cringe comes from the fact that no one really likes to see that stuff#if you need comfort or anything please talk it out with someone but like.#being VERY terrible publicly to yourself just makes a lot of people uncomfortable#keep in mind. if you post it online a bunch of strangers will be seein you moan about how 'bad' you are#and guess what! they dont know you! and they wont care!#it can start with 'i dont like how it turned out but at least its done'#what matters if that you enjoy yourself#if you start being terrible to yourself about your hobby that you should be enjoying then remind yourself youre there to have fun#skypeaks#also i will add. self-deprecation will also not help you in the long run. i would know from experience#cause rather than being productive with your self-deprecation you stick to 'i just suck!!!'#rather than like 'okay. im bad at this. but what can i do to better myself??'#i say from experience. this attitude CAN affect your relationships. not in a good way#so practice bein nice to yourself. truly.#you dont even need to be NICE just be neutral#start there. start with 'im okay at this'
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I would like some teasers about that Xander - Soleil father-daughter support fic please 💖
HEHEHE that'd be my pleasure~~!! i'll put a couple things under the cut c:
the fanart nattie drew for me is from their c-support!! the gist of it is that xander's employing a similar punishment to soleil as he did to laslow for excessive flirting :3 but as they're working in xander's office, they both end up falling asleep, hence the little scene in the art <3
the rest of the support is about soleil lying through her teeth about how she totally isn't flirting anymore so she doesn't get in trouble again, and xander completely seeing through her lie and doing a dad-thing of trying to make her come clean herself instead of directly calling her out !!
#THANK U FOR ASKING!!#ive actually been considering making it an actual edit rather than a fic--or potentially doing both?#confession for my queer studies class i had to 'queer a piece of media' and i chose fire emblem and made an s-support for caeldori/soleil#(the assignment was more than just that but for simplicity's sake i'll leave it there)#where im going with this is that i HAVE done some edits before so i might do one for xander&soleil? it just seems like a lot of fun#i know there's a fe14 support maker mod as well. so that might also be someth i try and do in the future....#the reason i might do this is bc i did write my outline with the intention of it being a script? which CAN translate to a fic but...#we'll see. we'll see!!! i'll probably post at least the script version here sometime#maybe soon bc i JUST GRADUATED WOOO so i have more time on my hands#(....allegedly but im still busy bc im moving rn LOL)#it was fun to pull up that doc again and read thru it.... my darling father-daughter combo i love them sm ;A;#thanks again i love to ramble about these sorts of things c:#dots's xnlw tag#soleil-is-the-bae#dots answers asks
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It really sucks when I notice that people in my friend groups will go out of their way to exclude me with shit. And I can't even say anything about it because then I come across as a dick because typically ignorance is feigned, or I'm called selfish for it
#this is me speaking from experience of this exact thing happening before. this is not me making a generalization.#there are circles im in where i try to get along with everyone and be confident in what i post because i typically am proud of it#or at least used to be. but i do notice when people actively avoid conversations with me. or ignore the work that i post#there are a handful of people who dont do this and i appreciate those people in my life so so much#but do others just think that i dont realize when they do it? that i just dont see when they actively encourage and comment on others work#about the same subject matter all while actively avoiding mine? i used to think i was just paranoid but its so obvious.#like at that point it isnt even about just not being interested. its so blatantly personal and that hurts a lot to see#and i cant even say anything about it because it will always cause more trouble than its worth
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Hello! I'm new to this blog and I was just wondering whatever happened to King's Gambit (the 95 line collab)? i'm not really expecting a full answer but I just wanted to talk to you and had nothing else to say ❤️
the king's gambit masterlist — teaser for my fic
don't worry it definitely is still happening and we haven't forgotten about it!! for this collab there's one plot shared between all three of us, and we're each writing a member's perspective so everything is interconnected with each other's fics. since they share the same major events we can't really move forward on the fics unless all of us are ready at the same time, and it's been hard finding time for us to get together and flesh out how our fics end. we are for sure going to finish it eventually because we've all put way too much work into this for it to never be posted (mine is currently at 22k, nova's @duhnova is around 20k and mars @onlymingyus is over 60k) but i can't give you a timeline because i don't know it myself :/ i would really really love for it to be out by the end of this year but that may not be possible, it just depends on the other members of the collab and how much we can all get written. i know it's been over a year since we announced it and i'm so so sorry that we've kept everyone waiting, i want to finish this fic as much as you want to read it and i wish i had something better to update you guys with but that's honestly all i have for now
#[💌] — asks#[👤] — anon#[✏️] — the king's gambit#all of us work and nova & i have school + other stuff going on so we havent all gotten to sit down and organize stuff in a minute#it may be 6 months it may be 2 years i really dont know but i am absolutely going to stick around until it gets posted#but i promise they will be posted someday!!! i wont leave yall hanging#honestly ive been really excited to work on it again recently but weve all had busy schedules so it probably wont happen *soon*#but i am hoping to make at least a bit more progress before the end of the year#once the main fic is posted im gonna do a series of extra drabbles/scenarios bc i love cheol hes my baby i have so much to say about him#the original estimate for my fic was 25k. its going to be a LOT more than that#so there is a lot of content to look forward to but you will have to wait a while#im sorry thats probably not the answer you wanna hear :( but it definitely isnt forgotten its always in the back of my mind asjgdkfs
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"BLJ" actually stands for Biden Long Jump <isnt sure if youre aware of mario 64 speedrunning technique backwards long jump
and if joe biden was put into half life 2 he'd do an "ABH", as in: Accelerated Biden Hop
#ask#catboygirljoker#oh of coarse i know the mario speedrun tech#i was doing that shit when i was like 6#i cant remember how we learned it but id have to imagine either before or after learning about gamewinners dot com#we used that site for like. everything. especially when we were trying to find blue coins in mario sunshine#speaking of mario. im reminded recently of something didyouknowgaming brought up in a mario 64 video#specifically that the 1-up hidden in whomps fortress's tower behind the breakable wall#and they were like ''oh this was found recently'' (as of the posting of that video) but me and my family knew about it when i was a kid#i couldnt tell you how we knew but. i remember breaking open the wall as a kid through my foggy memory#also as for hl2. recently been doing another run on my new computer.#specifically another gravity gun only run. this time on hard mode just to make sure its possible for me to humanly do#which. i got past the part i thought wouldve been an insane roadblock for me to get past#i have a lot of fun doing the challenge. this is like my 3rd or 4th time doing it.#granted the first few times i did it. it was more me trying to figure out the least ammount of weapons to finish the game.#which my goals with the first few times was like... me just playing through relatively normally without too much speedrun tech#which mainly avoided doing prop jumping. only because i thought it wouldve been much harder than it truely is.#i am a little sad that if i do happen to stream my go-through of the run that it may not be as magical to watch with me knowing what to do#i dont know if id feel confident in streaming at any point in the future. im hugely self conscious#but anyway thank you for your biden tech!!! :)
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saw a video about 2 player ttrpgs and one of them was like "this one's about a pretend marriage" and i was like oh? and i looked it up on itch (eyes on the prize, fyi) and it's 50% as of right now and i was like OH? and i bought it immediately & ive read most of it and i am a big fan. and i KNOW that i have friends who would have fun playing it (it's a 2 player or 4 player game; the 4 player variant has 2 fake couples) but asking them is going to be so cringe. yeah we're gonna make up people and pretend to be them and then pretend to pretend to get married and the characters when they start their pretending they're gonna be like "oh we don't have any romantic feelings towards each other this is strictly plot" but then (get this) they will start to develop real feelings for each other. and we're gonna act it out together and pretend to be them but don't worry! we have no romantic feelings towards one another. this is strictly plot. when WE (irl) pretend to be in love it's actually platonic, unlike the people who we are pretending to be to each other. so do you have like 2-5 hours you wanna dedicate to that next week
and the worst part is that's 100% what i want. like i have roleplayed romance before with friends it is literally not a big deal because the whole point of roleplay is that the character ISN'T you. but with a fake relationship the crushing weight of dramatic irony hovers behind me
#i do want to play it though it seems fun. i actually think it would be more fun to do the 4 player variant#just bc like. to me fake dating is all about the audience. the way you act alone vs in public#it's about the drama. the show. having other people to bounce of off in rp i think benefits that#eh. im overthinking it i'll get over myself & bring it up. i at least wanna talk about it to people even if we don't intend to play it#i also kinda think you could use the game as more of a writing prompt than a roleplaying game if you wanted?#like. ideally you're still have 2 or 4 people who have a character they mainly control#and you'd like. co-write a story by hashing out responses to each card (which is the main game mechanic) & writing it down#but you would lose some of the imo more like... silly (affectionate) parts of the game?#because some of it is really about the improvisational aspect of both ttrpgs and the fake dating trope#but i still think it would be really fun. and i have done a lot of text-based roleplay before#so i am biased towards it just in general.#i also think you could probs play with 3 players with slight bending of the rules and in and out of game acceptance of polya relationships#esp because the setting is like. vaguely period piece fantasy nobility. you go to fancy parties and shit#i feel like those people had very complicated love lives i think a throuple would be fine#also We Are Playing Pretend#good idea generator#unrelated but did wtf when did they update the post editor the tags are so ugly LOL
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Doin bad again folx
#might delete later I’m just wide awake and miserable#summer bill came out today and it’s $7100 not including housing which will be $2400#literally dunno how im gonna pay for that and my dad is. adding to the emotional turmoil of it all#not able to get a loan at least not before the bill is due#able to get aid luckily but again who knows when or how much#my bday is tomorrow and for months I’ve been like please just let my bday be a good day i need one#i need some hope. not that I haven’t had good experiences lately bc I have. but nothing that lasts#nothing i get to feel good about for more than a day before a new problem drops#I need to enjoy my birthday without feeling this deep dark dread and fear and fucking guilt and hopelessness#I have fun plans for today And tomorrow and I’m grateful but honestly stressed about that too#bc it’s gonna be a lot + bc of all I need to do outside of that#+ I don’t get to spend my bday w friends the way I want like I have one friend Maybe coming w me#my bday is supposed to feel celebratory and instead it feels like absolutely forcing some illusion of choice or joy in my life#on top of it all. the most peaceful I usually ever feel is in bed w my partner and now my body won’t even let me hold or be held by them#currently laying next to them not touching them so I at least don’t keep them up w how physically miserable I am rn#I’m literally always physically miserable at this point and it feels like spring is never gonna come and provide any relief#but it’s like can I at least be cozy w them. nope instead I’m wide awake facing various horrors#despite being permanently exhausted and falling asleep in class after 40 ounces of coffee#Im just. so fucking unhappy in life rn dude I don’t want life to be like this forever with the constant threat of it getting much worse#fucking shred of joy in this godforsaken world: the sleep noises they r making rn#mine#txt#vent post#suicidal ideation tw#<- cry for help
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