#and his outbursts. which are VERY personally relatable to me

[dennisboobs]

.

[jymwahuwu]

BARKINGN WOOF WOOWF DOES HE LIKE DOGS?? I CAN BARK!! GOOD HEAVENS MR. RECA. MISTER MISTER!! HELLOOO SAILORRRR!!

cough cough, my apologies for that outburst but here are my thinking thoughts on Mr. Reca..

Thinking of him holding you in a headlock to make sure the camera could capture your face. Maybe press down on your tongue with some of his fingers so the camera can capture those lil mewls and such.

He loves to keep going until he sees that doe-eyed blank stare you get whenever he goes too far. Face tear-stained while you drool mindlessly against his fingers. In fact, he always tries to get that one clip in whenever he wants to record(which is always.)

Bondage but it's him tying you up with old film from your previous commercial/scenes of you in other movies. Just so he can see the before and after his special films. He loves you dearly, look at how footage he kept of you from your previous acts!!

(Also on a more romantic topic, thinking him of making roses out of his favorite film tapes of you on the first date. You don't know because it's pitch black but they're actually from the films that you have acted as a romantic love interest. He's very sweet..when he's not insane me think.)

I passed out…Mr. Reca…his movie-related kink, and the way he expressed his love…😩💖💖💖

cw: yandere, dub-con, obsession, humiliation, oral sex, ooc because the official plot has not been released yet

Headlock may be a little rough, but that's the way to get your face on camera! He enjoys making low-budget movies for his own entertainment, without any regard for commerce but only his art and desires. The camera is right in front of you. Are you a little too shy? His arms were draped across your neck, holding your face in place as you bounced on his cock. Now you can't avoid the camera no matter what. He presses his thumb against your tongue as you swallow those sobs. No reason to hide them!

Mr. Reca doesn't show restraint. He pushes you to your limits to see how far you can go. Disappointing that you only need 5-6 orgasms to be brainless. The dazed look on your face is priceless (eyes melting out of focus, tears all over your face, and trembling legs. No quick reaction, just a subconscious whimper as your lips wrap around the cock). He often fails to part with these precious films and adds plots that have no obvious connection. In a movie about human loneliness in the universe, the scene of your orgasm is played. This is what happens at film festivals and cinemas. Anyway, if the audience complains, he will say it is a montage.

He keeps every movie that includes you. Those are his treasures. Even with the technology here, he still keeps these physical movie discs in his collection box. There are handwritten marks on it, such as: "1:15:32 blowjob part", "A must-see during the holidays", "3 hours without breaks version" and so on.

This stems from Mr. Reca's romantic moment. He created a CD collection of movies about you, decorated with fresh flowers and a cosmic gemstone.

Tucked inside is a card:

"To my favorite actor, legend, and sun. (Beautiful cursive writing, but at the last word, the person who wrote it seemed a little emotional, and the ink melted) Only when the sun shines on him, the moon will glow.”

[drunk-person]

Aemond Targaryen: Temperament analysis

Okay, first of all, there are four types of temperaments that a person can have: Melancholic, Choleric, Sanguine and Phlegmatic. Each of them brings unique characteristics to a person and in general, you can only have one, but with secondary characteristics of another.

For ME, Aemond Targaryen is a melancholic with choleric influence. Melancholic people have as their main characteristic this external quietness that often makes other people think they are boring or different, but no, they are just being themselves.

This matches perfectly with what Aemond said to Madame, he was always considered annoying and mocked by others because he was considered different. Aemond was a child but would be more reserved, he was studious and quiet, from a very early age taking his duties very seriously while others didn't even understand the duties that were around him.

A very big indication of this temperament is the fact that Aemond never got along with Aegon, who is a sanguine. In general, melancholics and sanguines do not tend to get along well together. The melancholic has no patience for the careless and uncommitted way of the sanguine and the sanguine in general cannot stand the correct and quiet way of the melancholic.

And here comes another important thing: in this temperament we have a very big problem related to hurt and trauma.

Think about temperaments this way: The phlegmatic temperament is a water temperament. What happens when we stick a knife in a river? The knife goes through the water and leaves no mark when removed.

Now bring this to Aemond's temperament: the melancholic is an earth temperament. What happens when we stick a knife in the ground and remove it? The mark will remain there forever if nothing is done to remove it.

You see it clearly in Aemond, the pain and hurt that was kept with him for years and years without anything being done to reverse it, only to feed it. The bullying suffered as a child, the loss of his eye, being belittled by his father, all of this is very vivid for him.

Aemond doesn't forget the pain caused to him!

Now let's talk about something important: the temperament, which is like a person's secondary temperament. Aemond has a choleric supply, which in temperaments is fire. Melancholic and choleric are a combination that, when not well-worked, can be dangerous, considering how melancholic is spiteful and choleric is vengeful. While melancholic thinks a lot about everything and plans every detail of everything he's going to do, choleric is extremely reactive and acts without thinking about the consequences.

A single person with two opposing temperaments can be complicated, and Aemond is like that. While he is very rational, he sometimes acts recklessly when he's angry, such as chasing Lucerys. However, when he kills him, guilt overwhelms him almost immediately, and the realization of what he did thoughtlessly eats away at him.

What makes Aemond predominantly Melancholic? His quietness and seemingly calm way of being. Choleric people are prone to subsequent outbursts of anger, are restless and impulsive to the extreme. You will rarely see a choleric person think about something.

An example is the scene at the bordeaux, a choleric person would not have thought twice before attacking or even killing Aegon right there, but a melancholic person would not, he keeps his anger and plans revenge for later, even if at some point in the future the guilt of what he did may eat away at him alive.

The way he hides each of his emotions behind a carefully calculated facade is the most melancholy thing anyone could do.

"I care but there's no point in letting anyone know."

I particularly love characters with this temperament, because they usually have so many nuances to observe.

[dyssonant-skyline]

Full Moon Spoilers: The Final Scene

I have some thoughts.

Okay let me start with saying, the Stolas & Blitzo conversation should not have been relegated to the last 5 minutes of the episode. I think the rushed nature of the conversation doomed any chance of it being a satisfying exchange between these two characters that covers the full reality of their situation. I’m listing this up front because a lot of my grievances could have been resolved with more time, which the team spent on 15 minutes of lead up that I believe were ultimately unnecessary to the show's central plot and actively hinder the direction the showrunners want the story to go in.

During the episode he acknowledges that Blitzo is in a horrible situation. He states that the deal was wrong, implicitly acknowledging guilt for thrusting it unto Blitz and trying to resolve that by giving him the Azmodean crystal. He has decided to end things, and goes through with it even though he displays clear interest in Blitzo’s advances.

Then what does he do when Blitzo assumes that Stolas hasn’t changed? When Blitzo believes that Stolas, the person who he has only had transactional relations with, is setting up a new kind of transaction? 

Instead of further ensuring Blitzo and trying to clear the air. He throws a tantrum. When things didn’t immediately resolve in his favor. Then he immediately goes into blaming Blitzo for only thinking about sex in their, again, transactional relationship. This gets worse because Stolas doesn’t wait to establish a healthy non romantic/sexual relationship before insinuating that he is still interested in Blitzo sexually, opening Blitzo up to misunderstanding his intent… then not being willing to clarify his intent.

“I have wanted you for so long, the fact that you couldn’t believe that I might have these feelings about you, that your first instinct is that it’s always about sex… that’s enough to know what this is.”

My brother in christ, you confront him about this during the sex deal night and don’t expect him to expect sex? You give him ~10 seconds to react to this information before deciding you don’t want to deal with his emotions anymore because they aren’t what you wanted?

The monologue that Blitzo had after that was completely justified and extremely gratifying to hear.

“Fuck you Stolas! You spring this feelings bullshit on me, are you fucking kidding?” - “Can I get a fucking minute to think after everything you put me through?” - “You can’t just dismiss me like that.”

After that sincere outburst, instead of Stolas recognizing what Blitzo is saying and taking some accountability or apologizing… he reacts with

“I didn’t realize you think so low of me.”

HUH? What happened to the transactional deal not being right? Surely if he knows he isn’t right, he knows that Blitzo would probably have a pretty low opinion of him? Breaking the deal doesn’t make his victim required to forgive him, especially not within 5 minutes.

Sidenote but: Stolas’s desire for immediate reconciliation is compounded by the fact that Stolas buries the lead at the beginning of their conversation. He keeps things vague with statements like “I need [the grimoire] back permanently” and “I’ve made up my mind” that lead Blitzo to believe he is being fired. I don’t really believe that the way that Stolas talks here speaks to his character, it reads more like bad writing in favor of a misunderstanding to get Blitzo worked up. It doesn’t seem in character to dwell like this, you could argue it is nerves but I’d argue there is no positive reaction to those first few sentences and Stolas isn’t socially inept enough to fail to realize that.

Honestly, if they were gearing up to have Stolas as a villain still and if Blitzo hadn’t had an apology cut off, I would have loved this exchange as it characterizes Stolas as a villain very well. It shows that Stolas still doesn’t care about Blitzo, just the version of Blitzo he has built in his head in excruciating detail. It shows that despite Stolas trying to make amends through words and actions, he still can not face the hurt that he has caused his victim and will run away when confronted with them. Unfortunately I’m pretty sure the writers are just going to make Blitzo into the one that Stolas hoped would fall into his arms immediately. So whatever.

[flippinpancakes64]

What abt the cullens being w/ someone that has anger issues?? I love love ur writing btw!!

The Cullens with an S/O who has anger issues

Thank you for the kind words!

Also I’m literally sitting at work while I write this so if it’s bad blame the people asking me to put 20 bucks on pump 5

Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy!

Edward:

He could already tell that you were more prone to anger than others

But he knows that it’s not something that you can control

He can hear your thoughts

Hear how much tou hate the way that you are

And the fact that you can’t control it

The good thing about Edward is that he knows this

So when you lash out at him for something small, he knows it’s not entirely your fault

He tries to be understanding and help you through your bouts of rage

And he doesn’t take it personally

He would suggest counseling tho

Alice:

She can usually predict if something is about to happen that she knows will set you off

So she tries to steer clear of those things

If she takes you into that store you’ll get angry at something, so she takes you to a different one instead

If she says this thing, you’ll get frustrated, so she words it a different way

She works around you more

And she doesn’t try to get you help

She just learns how to adapt

Jasper:

He can feel the rage from inside of you

And he’s a bit shocked at how fast your changes are

Most people have some reaction time or some kind of slow build to such big emotions

But yours just… appear

So he does his best

He uses his ability on you to regulate your emotions better

And he gets better at noticing what subtle cues you have

Rosalie:

She’s a little quick to anger too

Obviously not as bad as yours

But she gets irritated pretty easily

And whether that’s her fault or the people around her just being idiots…

Who knows

But she sympathizes

She picks up on your subtle cues pretty quick

And she will always defend your behavior

“Yeah their reaction was uncalled for, but that person was being an idiot so”

Emmett:

He doesn’t understand the anger part so much

But he does relate to the feeling of not being able to control yourself

I mean they all can

But he resonates the most because of how much of a menace he was when he first turned

Very patient

Will also defend you every time

Esme:

Very very patient

She doesn’t pick up on your cues the best

But she makes up for it in being understanding

She would heavily suggest therapy

Unless you’re already in it

In which case she would suggest stronger therapy

She wants you to get better and she knows that she can’t do that for you

Carlisle:

He understands in the most medical sense

He has patients with severe anger issues and he knows what to do

I feel like he’s probably gotten a psychology degree at some point

He would ask if you wanted counseling

And if you say no he’s totally cool

He also doesn’t take any of your outbursts to heart

He knows you can’t really control it

He also picks up on your cues and triggers really quick and does his best to avoid them

Overall he’s probably the best

Next to Alice

Or Jasper

Vampire! Bella:

She’s a little combative at first

The first time you blow up at her over something that’s not important she fights back

Verbally of course

Either you would have to be the one to explain that it’s something you can’t control or someone else will

Afterwards she feels bad

But I still think she’d be bad at picking up your tells

And she’d try to push your buttons sorry

She thinks it’s a bit funny when you’re mad

Try punching her once that might make her behave

[pikatrainer99]

Kieran is autistic and you can't change my mind!

Okay, I KNOW that I'm not the only one who holds this headcanon...but I wanted to do an analysis on Kieran anyway, especially since my best friend @sinnohanvulpix said she'd love to see me do one. Credit to her for all the screenshots used btw. The GIFs on the other hand were either found on Google Images or created by me using gifrun.com and these YouTube videos:

I did not use my own footage for this at all...as proof here's what MY character in the game looks like...he has my real name but I tried to make him look like Orange which is why he has the orange eyes 😅

(Sorry for the bad quality btw...taking pictures of my Switch screen is hard 😅)

Okay, now without further ado, let's get started with the analysis!

First, Kieran has a CLEAR special interest in Ogerpon, he admires and looks up to her, he was obsessed with the story of the ogre, he was always trying to go to her den and meet her, he has a meltdown when Ogerpon chooses the player over him, etc. Carmine even says that Kieran "really really REALLY likes the ogre" and that made me think, "Ah! Special interest!"

And then at the end of the Teal Mask he gains a new special interest in getting stronger to beat the player...and he hyperfocuses HARD on that...to the point of it being detrimental to both his physical and mental health, as he was doing nothing but training during that time...he barely ate, barely slept, just trained...and that is not healthy. It's a rare example of media showcasing a special interest being unhealthy and absolutely CONSUMING one's life, and the consequences do actually show for it.

Kieran is very introverted and doesn't know how to make friends very well. I actually think the player is his first friend considering his surprised reaction when the player says they consider him a friend, and following this, he quickly becomes a bit...too attached to the player, as he doesn't quite understand how friendships work.

(This is also such a neurodivergent way to say "I'm so happy I finally have a friend")

He also struggles socially, as is a requirement for autistic people to qualify for a diagnosis. Kieran specifically has a hard time reading social cues, he struggles with making eye contact, he has clear anxiety when talking to people as proven by his little stutter he has at times.

(This is an adorable screenshot 🥺)

He also struggles with social and emotional processing (and might have alexithymia as well due to his sudden huge outbursts of emotion), and he also struggles with initiating conversation as well, as seen when he tries to talk to Penny at the League Club. They both have no idea how to even start a conversation with each other and it's honestly pretty adorable seeing the two quiet adorkable kids trying their best to hold conversation. I get it, you two, initiating conversation is really difficult for me too.

Also the way they try to start the conversation by talking about the weather...that's really funny and ironic to me because that's what NTs do all the time. NTs always use the weather as a small-talk conversation starter but NDs like me (and Kieran and Penny too apparently) just don't get that stuff.

(These two are so neurodivergent it's great and I love them both 🥺)

Kieran also has four in-game animations that I personally see as stimming. The first one is him tapping his fist against his hip when he's thinking or nervous.

(Focus your attention to his hand here and you'll see it.)

The second one is him playing with a strand of loose hair, usually when he's nervous.

(The little nervous side glance at the player is relatable and adorable 🥺)

The third one is a more agitated stim that he only does ONCE in the entire game...and that is tapping the front of his foot on the ground. I do that myself when I'm agitated or impatient, somehow it's comforting, especially since for some reason I really like the way my shoes sound when I tap them on the ground... especially since I got my brand new Infernape-themed shoes, they sound extra satisfying because they're brand new.

(This is not the way most people tap their foot...I've never seen an NT do it like this...only other NDs such as myself and one of my brothers)

The fourth and final one is, unfortunately, a stress stim...Kieran runs his hands very fast through his hair and it also looks like, to me anyway as someone who has self-injurious stims myself, that he is digging his nails into his scalp as well while doing that. I do something similar myself, though on top of running my hands through my hair and digging my nails into my scalp, I also pull at my hair...yeah... self-injurious stims are no joke...and I'm kinda glad Kieran's autism coding brings attention to that aspect of autism...at least in my eyes as someone who does those things myself.

(He's in so much stress here, poor kid 😔)

Another aspect of autism that I'm surprised and kinda glad that Kieran exhibits as an autistic-coded character is meltdowns and shutdowns. Kieran has actual meltdowns in the game! This is something we have never seen in such an in-your-face way in any Pokémon game, and as someone who regularly has meltdowns myself, it hit me in the feels whenever I saw him having them. His first meltdown is in the Teal Mask when he steals the Teal Mask and runs off to Loyalty Plaza where he battles the player. He yells at Carmine and the player for treating him like an outcast...which is unfortunately something that happens to a lot of autistic people, myself included. Kieran screams at the player and Carmine for for lying to him while doing his stress stim, before running up to the Lousy Three's shrine and punching it, without any regard for his safety, which is also something autistic people may do during meltdowns...I know I have no regard for my safety during mine. After that's all over he gives the mask back to the player and goes home, leaving the player to talk to Carmine alone, who says that she's worried and thinks it's just "teen angst". When I saw that I was like, "...Uh, Carmine...I don't think it's just that, I think your brother is neurodivergent and really needs a lot of help and support because he's struggling a lot right now..."

His second meltdown is also in the Teal Mask, when he wants Ogerpon to go with him but Ogerpon wants to go with the player...Kieran can't process that and doesn't understand how to take Ogerpon's feelings into account, instead demanding the player to battle him for the right to be Ogerpon's partner. He collapses on all fours after being defeated again, and it gets worse...he looks like he's crying while the player battles Ogerpon in order to catch her. After the player catches her, Kieran wonders why he can't be like the player, and runs off crying, locking himself in his room for the rest of the story. The end of the Teal Mask has him doing his stress stim while being consumed by a new special interest in a very detrimental way...that interest being becoming so strong that no one can defeat him...including the player.

Kieran's third meltdown is in the Indigo Disk, after the player defeats him in the championship match. That meltdown is a full-on cutscene, where it is CLEAR to see his spiraling mental state through the visuals, and he holds his hands on his head like he has a headache while trying to process the fact that he lost to the player AGAIN (which is also relatable as someone who struggles with processing difficulties myself...it really does give headaches and it is one of the worst feelings when I just can't process what's going on around me or the emotions I feel or anything really)...he collapses to his knees and looks like he's breathing very hard as he is so upset and distressed at this loss. It is definitely one of the most heartbreaking scenes for me because this is a CLEAR CUT MELTDOWN in my eyes and it hits me in the feels like a TRUCK to watch that cutscene.

Also, in the Terapagos fight, Kieran has a bit of a shutdown for a bit, standing there frozen, thinking he's useless and can't do anything right (which is relatable as I have regular shutdowns as well, and I also constantly feel like I'm a failure of a human being who can't do anything right)...but let me tell you, when the player finally gets him to snap out of it and convinces him to help and he opens his eyes revealing that the light is back in his eyes as well as visible tears...I cheered (and teared up myself). My boy was back, and I was so happy.

(When I first saw the tears I was like, "NOOOO don't cry Kieran! 😢)

Also in the Indigo Disk, Kieran seems completely different and "no longer like his usual self". His autistic traits are (mostly) nowhere to be seen as he becomes much more serious, angry, assertive,and aggressive. I personally see this as a persona he puts on by masking, which is common for autistic people to do. I myself can't mask, but Kieran definitely seems to be masking here by putting on this persona in order to get stronger and seem stronger as a person as well. This is NOT his real self, this is a FACADE!

We see him start to drop the mask again in Area Zero when he says it seems like they're in a spy movie or something and how cool that is, but once the crack in his mask is pointed out he immediately puts it back on.

After everything in the under depths ends, and you go back to Blueberry Academy, he drops the mask again completely, and goes back to his real, adorkable, relatable self...and stays that way from then on, which made me so relieved and happy.

(This is my favorite cutscene in the entire DLC because of how adorable it is and also how neurodivergent Kieran is being here while apologizing for all he did 🥺)

In conclusion, I think Kieran is a great example of an autistic-coded character who has many relatable traits, and also does a good job showcasing some of the more "unpleasant and challenging behaviors and traits" (NTs use that terminology a lot, not me... that's how NTs unfortunately view NDs a lot of the time) of autism. I used to be afraid of him during the post-Teal Mask pre-Indigo Disk era but that was my trauma and PTSD talking (I talked about the emotional rollercoaster Kieran's story arc took me on in another post from last year after I finally worked up the courage to play the Indigo Disk...feel free to check that out too if you'd like). Now though I can wholeheartedly say that I love and appreciate Kieran a lot as a character, and his relatability is definitely a big part of why he is a big comfort character for me now (please Pokémon put him in Pokémon Masters EX, PLEASE I will literally cry from joy if he gets added to the game)!

Hope you all enjoyed this autistic person's analysis of yet ANOTHER autistic-coded character in Pokémon! I know I had A LOT to say but that just proves how relatable Kieran is, and I love him for that. Let me know what you think and if I missed anything in the comments below!

[aanhedoniaaa]

Can you do a Vance Hopper x a loud reader but actually just a softy?

Vance Hopper x Loud but softy Reader

A/N: im sorry it took me almost a year to get to this but keep in mind that i was in a semi-depressive hiatus (which, nobody cares; i’m just here to write), but i got to it, and that’s all that matters: im trying to get out of it now. and i slowly am. enjoy!

he sometimes gets “annoyed” by you being loud. and the reason it’s in quotation marks is because HE DOESNT

he takes being loud as being confident, brave, all that.

plus he’s loud himself (when he has those spontaneous outbursts. other than that, he’s just a little softie just like you are)

in other words he is the exact same way, like. he could pretend to be a non lovey dovey person in front of his friends, but late at night…during the weekly (he takes this very seriosuly) sleepovers…he’s all up on you cuddling and being sweet.

^^ BECAUSE HES A BIG HEARTED LITTLE GUY. just scared to show it since he has a Reputation of being some tough mean dude.

he’s really sweet with you because he relates to you, you may not be rude or mean like him but in some form you’re relatable!!

of course he defends you whenever someone says shit to you. like if someone were to call you annoying he’d be on their ass. like quite literally pouncing on them.

he’s so black cat boyfriend

feel free to add anymore in the comments if you’d like, read the A/N if you’re wondering why this is short. thanks

[padfootdaredmetoo]

Please can I have a Tommy x daughter fluffy fic where as her mums died she asks him to come with her to try on ballgowns with her and he doesn’t like a few for different reasons but he gets emotional when she finds the perfect one

Hey Anon,

Hope this does it justice - this request got me in the feels. Thanks for waiting. <3

Warnings: Teen drama, mentions of funerals and death - peaky related stuff

There were a lot of things you kept to yourself when it came to your father. Most of which Esme and Polly would wrangle out of you and give you advice for. 

You were close with each other the same way you suspected other fathers and daughters were. He was there to comfort you in his own way (mostly just holding you tightly) when you needed him, he gave you books to read and would try to remember to ask you questions about how you enjoyed them. 

He was away a lot for business but he always called you before bed to ask how your day was. Some moments when he’d drank to much you saw the pain in his eyes when he looked at you, a spitting image of your mother but with his eyes. 

You adored him, and rarely ever asked him for difficult things knowing he was always stressed. 

“Awe, you miss us, don't you? Next time we go you’ll be old enough to tag along. An extra week won't kill you darling.” Esme’s voice rang out over the phone and your stomach sank. You were in a proper situation now. You said your goodbyes but didn't tell her why her taking an extra week's vacation with Pol was a problem for you. 

You lit a cigarette and slid down the kitchen wall. They would be home the day of the big charity ball, not the type of event you could get a dress for the morning of. They must have forgotten that they’d promised to take you when they got back. You didn't blame them, this was the one time they got away from kids and the business.

You could ask… Lizzie? She hung around the family, worked for your dad, and seemed nice enough to you when you came by the office. She’d probably be able to help you.

You needed a backup plan, Linda still hadn’t forgiven you for an outburst you’d had at dinner a few weeks ago, but maybe John would help you? 

You thought about getting ready with Esme he’d always tell her what looked good. Well, mostly how he enjoyed the way it looked on her, but still Esme always looked very happy with his commentary. 

You got up and flicked your cigarette out the window before going to ask for a ride to the office.

You showed up and Lizzie greeted you with a large smile. 

“Here to see your dad are you?” 

“Well, I was actually - I -” The words got caught in your throat, she was far too pretty. Thinking of her seeing your awkward body in dresses made you shrink away. “Have you seen Uncle John?” You said quickly. 

“Should be in his office.” She gave you a look and you thanked her. You knocked on the door and his voice called out. 

“Hey kiddo,” he said looking up from a mess of papers. “Your da’s got me right tangled in this stupid paperwork. Give him a kick in the shin when you see him next will ya.” 

“Sure.” You laughed. “Guess you're pretty busy then?” 

“Be lucky if we survive another week with the hens gone.” He sighed, there was no way he’d be out of this mess any time soon, but maybe he could just tell you what to wear.

“What erm- What types of things does Esme wear that you like?” He looked confused by the question. 

“Trying to impress a lad then? Odd person to come to for advice on that.” He scratched the back of his head but before you could fix what you said he’d already carried on.

“Look if he doesn't like you as you are then there's no point in going after him. Gal’s seem to think we care about all the fuss when really - we’re going to see eve-” 

“What are you doing, love?” Your father's voice called from the doorway. Happier than ever to see him you sprang up from your seat and moved to give him a hug. Jarred by what you figured John was implying you decided to just pluck up the courage to ask him to go. 

“Get that shit done John, needs to be out by tomorrow morning,” John swore at him and you followed your father out of the room his arm steering you into his office. 

“What did you need from John?” He asked moving behind his desk. 

“Well, I didn't want to bother you.” 

“Trust me, love if it's worth asking, it’s not worthy of Johns's advice.” 

“Ah, well, I need a dress for the ball.” You stated, and he gave you a curious look. “Um, well it's my first time really going, for the dinner and dancing and everything.” You coughed awkwardly. For a moment you hoped that he would just understand where this was going and tell you he’d help you, but you looked at his face and knew he was lost as ever. 

“SO” you said a little too loudly. “I erm - need to get a proper dress, Polly and Esme said they would take me but they won't be back in time.” 

You brought your gaze from the wallpaper once more to still see him still looking confused. 

“You can have any dress you want, just give me the receipt.” He shrugged. 

‘No- I erm. I just- need someone to go with me.” You confessed sounding irritated. “I don't know what looks good - I’m not good at that type of stuff. John always tells Esme what he thinks about her dresses when we get ready so I figured he would be a good person to ask.” 

“I’ll take you.” He said uncomfortably. “We can go after-” He looked down at his schedule. “Can it wait till after dinner?” 

“Oh, yeah - thanks” 

“No problem,” He said with a nod looking only slightly put off. 

“I’ll head back to the house -” 

“I’ll grab you at 7” 

You gave him a nod and then left the office saying bye to Lizzie. 

Dinner was nice, you rarely ever went out to eat. You rambled on about a book you were reading and your dad followed along. Eventually, you started to tuck into your meal and he sighed. 

“So there's a boy then?” He asked looking pained.

“No?” You said startled with a mouth full of mashed potatoes. 

“No?” Tommy repeated looking at you with the look he gave when he felt you were lying. As a kid, you thought he had superpowers and could see in your mind. 

“No” You shook your head grabbing your glass of water. 

“John mentioned -” 

“He didn't understand what I was asking. Don't need to be interested in a boy just because I don't want to show up in front of all those people wearing something embarrassing.” You said defensively, face flushing. 

Tommy let out a hum and finished the last of his drink. Your last comment seemed to put him off even more. 

You finished up dinner and then headed to a fancy-looking shop. The sign on the door said closed but you followed behind your dad as he pushed the door open. 

The lady barely took notice of you as she shook your dad's hand, ensuring she would take care of anything he needs. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes as she touched his arm. 

He turned to you “alright free rein of the place, go pick some out that you like. I’ll start on this side.” 

You almost wanted to laugh as if it was a joke but your father moved passed the woman and started on the far wall. She looked over your body and began pointing out some to try on. 

You thought about her suggestions and said you would try them to be polite. If you turned up looking like a frosted cupcake Esme would never let you hear the end of it. 

You moved to the long dresses and found a nice dark red one. It was a shimmery fabric but it was dark enough that it wouldn't bring too much attention. You had a feeling that it was the right one, but with the lower neckline you felt it might be a fight to take it home. You decided it was worth it and asked the woman to take it to the dressing room for you. 

You found another few that you liked well enough, all of them were black and made of various materials. 

You met back up with your dad in the lounge and saw him sipping another glass of amber liquid, a cigarette in his hand. He met your gaze and held his hands up in mock surrender.

“Wasnt much help out in the field but it’s only because I have faith in your abilities.” 

You gave him a smile, happy to see him in better spirits. You put the first one on and hated it immediately. It was much too tight and it would be impossible to dance in. 

“Not very practical.” You waddled out and you watched him point back to the dressing room sternly. “Alrighty then,” you murmured feeling embarrassed. 

You tried the cupcake one on next and fought to work up the courage to walk out in it. You struggled to get it through the doorway and your father actually laughed. 

A proper healthy loud laugh that was contagious. 

“I feel like Esme would take the piss for ages if I wore this.” You looked yourself over in the mirror.

“Not just Esme. Didn’t think it would be possible to make you look anything less than gorgeous. In that line of thinking it might not be so bad after all. Don’t want this mystery boy enjoying himself too much.” 

“Dad!” You snapped before fighting back into the dressing room. “There is no boy.” 

“If you say so.” 

You wore one of the black ones next. You walked out feeling comfortable, you thought the black would go with any jewelry and looked classy. 

You looked at your dad and his face twisted slightly. 

“No black.” His tone of voice took you off guard.

“Why not? You’ll be wearing black?” you asked trying not to get worked up. 

“No black.” He said firmly and you knew better than to challenge him when he sounded like that. 

You went back into the room. 

“Ah - that leaves one left.” 

“Give it a go,” he called back.  

You pulled on the red one and loved it instantly. It was grown up, hugging you in all the right spots without showing too much skin. The color made your blue eyes seem electric. 

You liked it so much you didn't want to show it. What if he hated it as much as the black dress? Or thought it was stupid like the pink one. 

You took a deep breath and called out. “Don’t be mean.” Then stepped out. 

You looked at the mirror avoiding your father. It looked even better in the lighting. Eventually, the silence was too much. 

You watched him take the dress in and thought you saw tears in his eyes. You wanted to run back and hide. Why was he being so weird? Even if there was a boy, it’s not uncommon at this age. Heck, most of Esme’s sisters were married by 16. 

“That’s the one eh?” He finally said looking at you.

“Yeah. Think I look grown up, but not to - erm-  showy” 

“Grown up, is one way to put it.” He finished his drink and smiled at you. “I think you look lovely. Your mother has a necklace that will match with the color” He said softly. “-if you want to wear it.” He added hurriedly. For a long time, he thought her things might have been cursed, until one day he came home from a very long trip and said it was him that was cursed. You shivered remembering that night. You always avoided touching her things, her room untouched but not forgotten. 

“I would really like that.” You said feeling emotional, you realized that the panic was about wanting to look nice, but some of it was anger that your mother was not there to help you. “Did she wear this color then?” 

“Always red.” He nodded. 

“Ah - well, I can see why.” You looked back in the mirror. 

“Look - I know this sort of thing would have been more fun with Pol or Esme- and you probably miss your mum a lot these days. Lots of changes and whatnot.” He waved his hand uncomfortably. “But - well, I enjoyed this. I don’t mind being around for this stuff. I wouldn't have liked you more as a boy or anything like that” He cleared his throat. 

Tears started to spill over something you hadn't even realized you were worried about. 

“I love you.” You said. Felt strange standing on a platform saying it down to him as a saleswoman was probably judging them from the shadows somewhere. 

“Love you too.” 

On the ride home you both made jokes about different things, Arthur and John weren't very good at taking over for Pol and Esme and you enjoyed your dad’s commentary about trying to keep the place running. 

When things quieted down you finally felt that you needed to end this boy nonsense. 

“Dad?” You asked wondering how he kept the car straight while fumbling with getting a cigarette out and lighting it. 

“Yeah?” 

“There really isn't a boy, if there was John is the last person I would ask. One time he picked me up from school, years ago, and a boy, Tim Weatherby, had waved to me. He ran his car into the back of his parent's car three times before driving off.” 

You watched your father let out another laugh. “Always classy.” 

“I’d tell you first obviously. Esme would get too excited, and Pol would worry.” 

“And what would I do then Eh?” He asked raising an eyebrow.

“Probably meet him and scare his pants off.” You answered honestly. 

“That’s a good thing then?”

“Obviously. If he comes back it's because he really likes me.” 

__________________________________

EXTRA - Tommy's POV 

Watching her walk out in a black dress made the fleeting moments of humor leave him. He sort of saw her in the gown but his mind flashed back to that scared little girl all dressed in black.

“No black.” He said slightly out of control of the feelings biting into him. 

“Why not? You’ll be wearing black?” He could see that you wanted to argue but he couldn't stand to see you in that dress any longer.  

“No black.” He said firmly and you looked a bit deflated before retreating back to the dressing room. His mind pulled him back to that day. You attached firmly to his side, dressed in all black. The way you tried so hard to behave, tucking your face into his neck to cry as they lit the vardo on fire. How you even tried to hit Polly when she tried to take you from him. How you would panic if he was out of your sight for more than a few minutes. 

No black. He ran his fingers through his hair. 

The next dress hurt nearly as bad. Tears he had not cried in years welled up in his eyes as he looked at you taking in your body in the mirror. 

So much like your mother, the style of the dress, the color. You were going to be an adult in a blink of an eye. Only small traces of that little girl left in your features. Now there would be boys and time left with it being just the two of you would start to slip away.  

He thought the dress was much too showy, you didn't understand that yet though. Considering you would be standing next to him the whole night he figured it would be alright. You could pair it with your mother's jewelry and he could get Pol to convince you to wear it with a shall or something.  

Eventually, your eyes looked at him for approval and he felt guilty for snapping at you. There was a very evident look of self-consciousness on your features. He wished it came more naturally to him. 

“That’s the one, eh?” He said and enjoyed the way your eyes lit up. He may not be the best dad, but he would try hard to spend the last time he had with you. Find things to do with you, before you became busy with the rest of the world.

[vickyvicarious]

So... Masters and Men, eh? There are several different perspectives at play in this chapter:

Mrs. Thornton

"[Workers strike] For the mastership and ownership of other people’s property [...] they are a pack of ungrateful hounds [...] they want to be masters, and make the masters into slaves on their own ground. They are always trying at it; they always have it in their minds".

Mrs. Thornton speaks very harshly of the workers, and she seems to explicitly view the situation as opposing sides, with the 'lesser' one being the aggressor. Part of the pride she takes in her lifestyle is linked to being brave enough to face them and 'fight' against them. In fact, the quote about that is really interesting to me, because she claims they're "a people who are always owing their betters a grudge, and only waiting for an opportunity to pay it off," but in some ways, she could be seen that way as well. At least in the sense of family history/social status, the Hales are supposedly the Thornton's superiors, right? And Mrs. Thornton is very prickly about being seen as inferior herself. A lot of it seems to be genuine pride and dislike of their (Southern) priorities, but some is definitely defensive. And I could see some nasty high society person using similar wording about Mrs. Thornton herself having a grudge against her betters. Certainly, as someone who herself had to struggle tremendously to climb to the point she's at now, I find it easier to see her believing others will want to do the same (though she attributes more malevolence to their actions).

Mr. Hale

"I should say that the masses were already passing rapidly into the troublesome stage which intervenes between childhood and manhood, in the life of the multitude as well as that of the individual. Now, the error which many parents commit in the treatment of the individual at this time is, insisting on the same unreasoning obedience as when all he had to do in the way of duty was, to obey the simple laws of ‘Come when you’re called,’ and ‘Do as you’re bid!’ But a wise parent humours the desire for independent action, so as to become the friend and adviser when his absolute rule shall cease."

Mr. Hale doesn't attempt to dispute the idea that the workers are inferiors, and he's clearly not willing to go too far because he wants to keep the peace. But he tries to suggest that Mr. Thornton look upon them as growing and learning, and be indulged of their 'mistakes' or 'outbursts', so to speak. When talk again turns to the two sides as being opposed to one another, Mr. Hale says, "is not that because there has been none of the equality of friendship between the adviser and advised classes?" He's certainly in favor of mending relations, and he doesn't believe that opposition is inherent/necessary, but his approach is sort of benevolently condescending. This too fits well with his background and the kind of thing Margaret was used to before they move here.

Nicholas Higgins

...it were the interest of the employers to keep them from acquiring money—that it would make them too independent if they had a sum in the savings’ bank. [...] I heard, moreover, that it was considered to the advantage of the masters to have ignorant workmen... [...] But he—that is my informant—spoke as if the masters would like their hands to be merely tall, large children—living in the present moment—with a blind unreasoning kind of obedience.

Higgins (who isn't here and whose words are being relayed second-hand) is the one who first brought up the workers-to-children comparison, but he did so in a distinctly scathing way. He's very bitter about the 'masters' and is definitely displeased at being looked down on. But it's not just resentment. He recognizes the balance of power that is at least in many cases being deliberately maintained. The workers aren't allowed to be too independent because then they can't as easily be used however the masters want. His views are sort of a reverse of Mrs. Thornton's... the employers are the aggressors constantly shoving the workers back down. Wanting them to be ignorant, never to think for themselves, to be dependent and unquestioning. As someone who has very few options even when it comes to helping his daughter dying due to a factory-related illness, his bitterness is fully understandable.

John Thornton

"But because we don’t explain our reasons, they won’t believe we’re acting reasonably. We must give them line and letter for the way we choose to spend or save our money." [...] "I agree with Miss Hale so far as to consider our people in the condition of children, while I deny that we, the masters, have anything to do with the making or keeping them so. I maintain that despotism is the best kind of government for them; so that in the hours in which I come in contact with them I must necessarily be an autocrat." [...] "And I say, that the masters would be trenching on the independence of their hands, in a way that I, for one, should not feel justified in doing, if we interfered too much with the life they lead out of the mills. Because they labour ten hours a-day for us, I do not see that we have any right to impose leading-strings upon them for the rest of their time. I value my own independence so highly that I can fancy no degradation greater than that of having another man perpetually directing and advising and lecturing me, or even planning too closely in any way about my actions."

Mr. Thornton has quite an interesting mix of views here. He claims that it is necessary for him to be a despot; but he feels he has no right to interfere with their personal lives. He talks scornfully of their strikes and says if they knew why he's taken his stance, then they would act differently, but he refuses to tell them why. He agrees that they're like children, but then says he respects their independence and is treating them like he'd want to be treated. Thornton does seem to have a better understanding of the independent nature of the people here, but he uses that reasoning to justify remaining completely uninvolved in bettering the situation. He asks if he has any right to impose his own views on them just because he's their boss - and that's a fair point, but also, he's kind of doing that regardless? It's his belief that an honest and straightforward, if demanding 'master' is both more respectable and incurs loyalty/becomes an example to follow. It's his belief that the workers should blindly obey him because he's in charge, and that this is better for them. And as someone with so much power over their livelihoods, he can operate based on these views. If they feel otherwise, they don't have the power to change that. When they try with strikes, he's willing to get into a power struggle that he admits will hurt him as well as them, rather than let them 'win' even just enough to make him admit his reasons why. Even though he claims their interests align with his, he seems to feel that they don't or can't understand this, and thus conflict is inevitable. In fact, I think he was the first one to call it a "battle of the classes." Thornton's backstory is very much a "pulled myself up by my own bootstraps" success story, and because he did it by working really hard and practicing lots of self-discipline, he seems to think anyone else who fails to succeed is at fault for not working hard enough. He didn't question his bosses, he just put the work in! And so on. Of course, pretty sure he was always of a higher class, and that's going to be a factor for all of these people regardless, but still, I can easily see him thinking that it's their fault for not knowing how to save their money carefully enough. And thus dismissing their complaints.

Margaret Hale

All I meant to say is, that there is no human law to prevent the employers from utterly wasting or throwing away all their money, if they choose; but that there are passages in the Bible which would rather imply—to me at least—that they neglected their duties as stewards if they did so. [...] ...I see two classes dependent on each other in every possible way, yet each evidently regarding the interests of the other as opposed to their own: I never lived in a place before where there were two sets of people always running each other down. [...] ...you are a man, dealing with a set of men over whom you have, whether you reject the use of it or not, immense power, just because your lives and your welfare are so constantly and intimately interwoven. God has made us so that we must be mutually dependent. We may ignore our own dependence, or refuse to acknowledge that others depend upon us in more respects than the payment of weekly wages; but the thing must be, nevertheless.

Margaret relays Higgins' words, and speaks on his behalf. She seems to have a position closest to her father, in the sense that she feels it is Mr. Thornton's duty to aid the people under his rulership. She seems guided ultimately by religious ideals of the relationship between people, but also recognizes that the situation involves an inherent power imbalance and thus responsibility on the part of the one who is at the top. As much as Thornton might deny it, he does have incredible power over the people. But he is also dependent upon them. Her talk about dependence is really interesting because she's the first person to portray it as extending in both directions. They are dependent upon him to employ them; but he is equally dependent upon them to work for him. In this way, she goes a step further than Mr. Hale seemed to, and recognizes both sides as at least closer to equals. She clearly isn't suggesting that every worker should be seen as having the same rights and roles as Thornton, but neither does she view them as either entirely isolated in their independence, or entirely subservient in their dependence. It's a complicated web in which everyone plays a valuable part. Fighting against one another is by necessity acting against your own interests, in a way. Once again, I think her having these beliefs fits very well with her background as someone who did operate in a more noblesse oblige way and clearly felt she was better than certain other classes, but also experienced being the social lesser/supported one when taken in by her Aunt.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: Miraculous World: London, At the Edge of Time

(Spoilers for those that havent seen it. and yes this will be my sort of Live reaction, with my thoughts at the end)

-Okay so Nooroo be sad and trying to appeal to this person's morality.

-Okay so I was wrong about them being Adrien, but they are... Blond Lila?

-Okay, so She was actually BOTH akumatized Villains. Not gonna lie, That is so expected I assumed one of them would be adrien. Damn

-Intro be dope though

-So they are playing some weird variant of chess.

-If I was kid Alix, Id be salty, I would never. win since the other versions of me KNOW all my moves.

-OH DAMN GRANNY BUNNYX! 70, damn she looks good for 70

-Oh they be fading, and they arent even phased. Because they know what will happen. Wow... kind of takes the drama out of this

-Oh cool, recap

-They dont even bother saying he was originally called monarch.

-Alix is so valid for that comment about them kissing

-"Gabriel makes his wish, history is still on course." Yep they are playing the Miguel O' Hara is right canon event bit unironically.

-Portals start vanishing. But the drama is gone because YOU KNOW Alix will fix it

-Oh there is a depressed Bugnoire. Confirmed that merge miraculous can still use powerups.

-She goes to London. Damn this is depressing, and sterile

-Bugnoire casual destroys the cell to free Kagami made me chuckle

-Marinette reflecting on what happened. talking with Gabriel

-"Adrien cannot find out."

TO THE SURPISE OF F***ING NOBODY!

-Kagami calling her out but then saying she will oblige her

-Oh they actually talking about Tomoe.

-Kagami wants to try and talk to her mom, which Marinette honors because... at least she isnt being a hypocrite here.

-Okay I know I am a bit nasty, but I do appreciate the time the scene is taking. its really building up the tension to this.

-Gorilla out of nowhere just like "Let me unlock it first." that made me chuckle

-I feel VERY CONFLICTED. Because on one hand, LOVE THE ANGST. Absolutely just perfection. Really milk that drama. But f*** do I HATE how this came about.

-Oh the Lie is actually pretty convincing. Oh look at how absolutely distraught Adrien is. Boy is f***ing wrecked.

-OH DAMN ADRIEN OUTBURST

-That Adrigami comforting.

-I want to love this absolutely heartshattering scene. Its beautiful, its angsty.

-Okay, you know what. I will hold my reservations until I actually finish.

-You can just see the absolute distraught face of Marinette. SHE HATES THIS. SHE ABSOLUTELY HATES WHAT SHE IS DOING. OH THAT IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL ANGSTY THING. Its slowly warming me up a bit, the finale was missing this.

-Oh damn, Nathalie knows Marinette is Ladybug. WELP, just another person that knows thats not Adrien.

-Oh damn, Ladybug monologue, while she destroys everything related to Hawkmoth, monarch, and his scheme. In a way, becoming his greatest accomplice.

-The press conference is full of a lies. Wow its starting to feel just like real life.

-Nathalie comforting Adrien, such a soft scene. Meanwhile Tomoe and Kagami are cold to eachother

-Marinette is at the train station

-That adrinette hug.... yea, thats the good stuff

-Im happy the kwami are safe.

-There is a lot of not talking in these moments. letting the music set the tone.

-And day becomes night, Marinette sleeps with Plagg and tikki by her side. Now she asks if what she did was right

-Is there a kwami of truth? Because if there is, I wonder what animal it is

-WAIT, She lied to Alya too? THAT I didnt see coming.

-And right there, we see when the special ACTUALLY Starts

-Okay the vest is funny

-The burrow has a slowed down time aspect, makes sense because of the whole time travel thing.

-So they have to take Marinette's Miraculous from when she renounced it. For a split second, I thought she was talking about the Kwami choice, but it was actually Origins. Which makes more sense

-So thats why Tikki becomes so sure of Marinette.

-She changed colors? Why thoough?! Granted I do prefer it to the original costume, but not as much as the lucky charm form.

-"There is no such thing as ghost." GHOST FORCE WOULD LIKE A WORD MARINETTe

-Basically she can phase through things like Kitty pride. And be invisible. So like a Ghost.

-Ladybug verses the Ghost akuma

-She cant touch them

-Calender. it means you have to go to a different time

-This special really likes hammering in that Ladybug's lie is wrong, yet at the same time NO ONE is offering her an alternative. So it feels like the special isnt really committing to the "Marinette is right" or "Marinette is wrong."

-"Sorry, you cant take the butterfly miraculous cause Canon Event." Yea this is getting repetitive

-So Time Stalker was there. Saw Ladybug was Marinette

-Yea, not gonna lie. All the clips showing the finale only remind me how much I HATE it.

-Gabriel f***s off to leave his son an orphan but gets to be with his wife. Thus getitng his wish forever and now Ladybug has to basically let it happen because F*** her in particular

-NATHALIE WITH A CROSSBOW!

-Nathalie telling the small crying teen who was willing to sacrifice HERSELF, that she didnt have to go that far. People often forget Marinette is a TEENAGER going through s***. Nathalie should have stopped Gabriel earlier

-That aside, all this special reinforced is that Gabriel is an idiot. He really could have won so much easier

-And thats how Time stalker found out

-Marinette figured out they were the same person, clever writing

-Super ghost and Super Spy dumb names

-I love Barkk. She is like "Dont be so sure"

-Man this special really retreads a lot of old ground a lot

-Miraculous Bug Noire

-So Bugnoire saying until they get the butterfly miraculous back. She cant tell him the truth.... Yea no. Thats dumb. I still find this very dumb.

-But the whole mini portal thing was funny to me. Why not just make a portal under them to pull them in.

-There we go.

-SHE HAS MORE OF THEM? Okay thats pretty clever

-"He or She?" if it wasnt present bunnyx Id assume she knew.

-The explanation on why Nathalie cant tell Adrien is also bulls**t.

-A wiseman once said, the "Truth hurts but once, but a Lie will ache forever" Marinette is basically setting up for worse

-I will say, the Choreography in these encounters is pretty cool.

-Okay the plan was clever

-Ladybug is apparently REALLY good at forging signatures. Are we sure Marinette isnt a future villainess?

-The Ladybug monologue with that funky beat was fun

-HEHEHE Lila Temper tantrum

-Poor Nooroo

-Well the plan worked.

-Bunnyx not being sad about having to stay as Bunnyx.

-Wait, so how come they can go ride dinosaurs if they cant mess with time?

-So bunnyx says "Hey its cool to lie as long as you own up to it eventually." Thats a fucking terrible lesson for kids to learn. I hope everyone reading this knows that

-Wait... is Chronobug dead?

-Nope, she is still alive

-Plagg is confused. But Tikki knows. Okay thats cute

-Marinette fixing the miraculous and upgrading them. Thats neat

-Marinette's logic for spreading it out makes sense at least. And the new hawkmoth doesnt know the heroes identities. Tomoe might though

-Okay, Plagg is cute.

-Ah yes, the Ladynoir

-There is that Hug. Thats that good stuff

-Chat noir's guilt and Ladybug's Guilt

-And then Lila's monologue at the end

___________________________________________________________

Now... How do I feel about this special?

I am torn.

On one hand, it did show that Marinette is feeling the effects of the secrets she is keeping. She is clearly feeling guilty about it. And the special does a LOT to justify what she is doing and never outright gives her a pass for it. I also LOVED that sweet succulent ANGST. Good stuff.

on the Other hand, some of the explanations are not good (like Adrien not finding out until after the butterfly is found? It makes no sense), and it hand waves a LOT of things. Not to mention, it does basically have Marinette, Kagami and Nathalie in this secret Cabal of secrets. Tomoe is basically not held accountable. And the whole Canon event thing and time travel basically means there is never any real danger. So it really takes the wind out of this.

But BUT, This special does at least imply that this secret will be the cause of tension, now the question is IF the show will actually deliver on this angst.

I dont hate this special as it does illuminate a LOT of what was missing from the Season 5 finale... that being said, I still hate the season 5 finale.

so its 6/10.

[lakesbian]

rachel and alec are specifically interesting to me re the undersider Situations as of early worm posting. thats right for the first time in my life im saying rachel specifically is interesting to me. everyone on the team is at least a bit lonely i think but it's so loud and obvious with rachel, because she's loud and obvious about everything. she's a disabled teen who's been homeless since she was very young. she was deeply abused by the foster home system, and the legal system responded to her wounded and confused outbursts as an autistic child by criminalizing her and hunting her down. she can't exist in public without the cops being called. society has done everything to demonstrate that it doesn't want her, and then blames her when she doesn't trust people.

brian says that the undersiders are the closest thing she can have to friends. alec says that they're the closest thing she has to a family. (which is an entire can of worms in itself wrt alec's relation to the undersiders.) and both of those things are true, but there's also something so tragic in their assumption that their tenuous connection w/ rachel where she can only just barely tolerate them is the best she can ever have. they're the only people she can even remotely trust to have her back or treat her somewhat fairly instead of fucking her over, but they're still fundamentally considering her beyond close connection, less of a friend or someone to attempt befriending and more of someone to keep on a leash. of course taylor is the only one to actually get close to her--taylor is the only one who tries to engage with her, as a person, on rachel's own terms, instead of begrudgingly tolerating her. rachel :(

& alec is the other team member who's in the Extra Lonely Isolation Club...he gets silly with the team sometimes, he has his little teenage banter w/ brian, he and lisa are clearly very familiar with each other in the way ppl who've been living together for a year and a half are. it's really good for him. it's the first time in his entire life he's gotten to have a consistent home with his own belongings, and he's getting to have it because he's part of the undersiders. the undersiders are literally the first people in his entire life that approach counting as a friendship. he gets SO FUCKING MAD!!! when he leaps to assuming that rachel stole the money from them. he gets So Mad he immediately goes "i vote we kill her" and then goes on a seething rant about how he wouldn't have thought she'd do that since the undersiders are the closest she has to family, but apparently she would. and the projection is so obvious! he's not wrong about applying the sentiment to rachel, but there's a reason he goes farther than brian's "closest she has to friends" and into the more intimate territory of "closest she has to family"--the two-way street there means that the undersiders are the closest he has to family, and the idea of being betrayed by one of them hurts enough to trigger the aggression he always displays when he's feeling vulnerable.

and he still doesn't tell them Jack Shit. he obviously lies to them all the fucking time, because brian is under the impression that he "dropped out" of school, when the reality is that he never went. even lisa brings up heartbreaker to taylor without any awareness that he's the father of the boy she's been living with for over a year. alec spends most of the early arcs in worm in dissociative, depressed fugues. the other undersiders have lengthy conversations where they're sharing personal info and he's just trailing along behind them, not speaking for so long that even the readers can forget he's there. lonely broken little shell of a boy who is so empty all of the time and does not even know it. aisha cannot get here fast enough if i have to see him being depressed and disconnected for one (1) more chapter i will explode

[sparklefics]

Is it too much to ask?

Avengers! Bucky& Reader

WC:767

A/N: I don’t normally take naps during the day but today I did and apparently I woke up feeling inspired. This is just an outburst of fluff! 😘

Gif not mine

Warnings: emotional support, Bucky being a friend—we love to see it.

[Masterlist]

You could never find Bucky Barnes intimidating. Regardless of his past, regardless of his physique you couldn’t see him as a threat.

Which is why you were quick to befriend him. No one else on the team managed to bond with him as quickly as you did. At first no one wanted to be his friend, apart from you and Steve, but they quickly got over that when they saw Bucky take a bullet for you while on a mission.

Bucky was a good man. Sure he’d been brainwashed to commit crimes but at his core he was and still is a good man.

After he took that bullet for you he became more talkative, even if it was in private just the two of you but he was talking. He became your friend. He is someone, sometimes the only one, you turn to when you’re feeling blue.

I wish I was special to someone.

Today was one of those days. It was Morgan’s birthday and while everyone was celebrating the little girl’s 7th birthday you sneaked off to the indoor greenhouse. That’s where Bucky found you, because of course he was the only one to notice your absence.

He quietly snuck into the room while you were watering the daisies. “Hey you.” He whispered when he reached your side.

“Hey.”

He could tell something was off, you were being monosyllabic. Bucky took the watering can from your hands and set it aside, then pulled you into his chest for a bear hug.

Neither of you said anything for a while, you just stood there with your face nestled into his warm chest while he rested his chin on top of your head. Occasionally pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.

“You good?” He finally asked, still not letting go of you.

You simply nodded your head.

“Then how come you’re hiding out while everyone is up there having a good time? That’s usually my thing.”

You took a deep breath, “Special days have a special way to remind me that…well, I’m just me. You know?”

“I’m not sure I get it. Tell me more.” He encouraged you by rubbing circles on your back. “You know I won’t judge.”

“Okay. You know I'm happy for Tony and Pepper. They’ve figured it out, how to keep doing what we do and still have a life, a family. And while I know I’m Morgan’s favorite avenger—yes, I know that she loves you but she told me herself I’m her favorite— I still feel…inadequate. Incomplete and sometimes just unhappy, lost and like I just don’t belong… I guess I just wish I was special to someone.”

That hit Bucky like a ton of bricks.

He very much understood now what you meant. Hell, he could relate.

“Baby, you are special to me, to the team.”

He definitely slipped by calling you baby but he needed you to understand that you make a difference in his life. You truly are special to him, in more ways that he can even explain.

You dared to look up at him and found yourself hypnotized by the sincerity in his eyes. “You think I’m special?”

“You are the most special and important person in my life. And I know what it's like to want something…to want someone, to want someone to be your special someone.”

“Uncle Buck? Y/N?” Morgan interrupted the moment, “come on! We’re gonna open presents and have cake!!”

“Well we can’t miss that now can we?” Bucky said and pulled you by the hand and followed Morgan up to the main floor.

“Bucky,” you whispered as you stood by his side on the ride up the elevator. “What did you mean by that?”

His grip on your hand tightened, “Sweetheart, I’m saying you are my special, you have my heart and it’s yours if you want it.” He smiled at you then dropped a kiss to your cheek.

You felt like bursting into tears.

He wasn’t one to express his feelings so freely or openly so you knew he was serious about this. You didn’t get a chance to say anything back because just then the elevator dinged and the doors opened.

Bucky let go of your hand and whispered, “you don’t have to say anything…just think about it.”

You followed him out, almost had to jog to keep up with his pace. Once he was within your reach you grabbed his hand and laced your fingers. That stopped him in his tracks.

“There’s nothing to think about. It’s you and I, James. You have my heart too.”

[cauls-antique-pepperbox-pistol]

Sorta related to caul getting avocet’s wheelchair, do you have any thoughts about his relationship with her when he was a kid living at the academy?

Soo I personally think she was very kind and patient with him. He had his problems and outbursts, but she’d be there comfort him and help as best as she could (maybe she even knew about the prophecy and his role in it?)

Buuut the damage had long been dealt to him back when he was still with his normal parents. Like his hate and jealousy stuff wasn’t showing yet, but it was definitely developing at the academy. @jjackrabbitt and I have talked about how maybe kids who come from bad family situations and get brought into a better environment might not know how to deal with it properly. Like they’re so used to the abusive environment, the good environment is just messing with them further. Maybe that’s what happened to him and the trauma from their old home caught up to him and turned him hateful, jealous and abusive himself

But yeah back to him and Miss Avocet. I do think she tried to help him a lot. I have this OLD headcanon that Caul can play the piano and Miss Avocet taught him back then. Yknow giving him something to be good at, to be proud about. Since he was having so much trouble with his sister being “more” than him

Anyway anyway. Now in the actual books this was never talked about and I’m kinda hesitant to mention this cause the source is GONE now 😭 (you’ll just have to believe me) but Riggs did livestreams for every book (except TDoDA) as a countdown for the sixth book. And in the Hollow City live stream, he read a deleted scene to us, that had Caul in it and contained an interaction between him and Miss Avocet (in bird form though). And he says something like “do you remember how you used to paddle my brother and me?” (meaning beating someone, my non-native English speaking ass had to look that up). But :/ nah I don’t think Miss Avocet was abusive to them, I just refuse to believe that. But still interesting. Since he was saying that to Miss Avocet herself, it must be true? At least in that deleted scene. Which doesn’t exactly make it canon

Anyway enough yapping. Miss Avocet is a good mom, period

[theharmonious13]

Danganronpa Despair Time Death Prediction (Chapter 2 Released Edition)

*This post was created when Chapter 2 Episode 15 is the latest episode released. I hope there's nothing at the end of this chapter that changes or crushes my predictions for now.

**Spoilers for Danganronpa Despair Time up until Chapter Two, if you're reading this for some reason then happy reading :3

Chapter 1 (Complete)

XXX

Chapter 2 (Complete)

XXX

Chapter 3 (Veronika kills Arturo and Whit)

I imagine because of her talent and unique personality Veronika will end up killing, although after chapter two I can see her being both a victim or blackened because of her secret revealing she 'harmed herself for fun'. I don't have any specific predictions on what she would plan because of her enthusiasm for horror. Might not be in character but I can imagine her making a 'treasure hunt' type presentation for her murders, collecting hints as to where the victims are, or revealing new cryptic information to the group. She could mess with lights, objects etc. in a different way than Min did because I can imagine her planning her crime in intense detail. Despite what I just wrote I hope she survives longer, I love hearing her enthusiasm towards character distress/aspects of the killing game but... I unfortunately can't see her making it to the end. I can imagine with her self harming tendencies she wouldn't mind being executed if she fails :/

I figure she would be smart enough to take out Arturo despite his height because he's the closest thing the cast has to a medical expert. Additionally I think she'd choose Whit to murder because of his smaller size/character archetype (jokester who doesn't take the killing game as seriously), and how it plays into her possibly favourite horror tropes. I could be dead wrong here but both Arturo and Whit seem like they won't really contribute story wise except for their family connections (Arturo's sister and Whit's mother, both of which I'm curious to learn more about). The creator has also confirmed it'll follow the original Danganronpa format, which is why I'm so confident there will be the typical two victims in chapter three regardless of who I guess.

Chapter 4 (Rose kills Hu)

This also mainly came about because of the chapter 2 trial. Unless I missed something up until now Hu seemed to take a 180 type character spin in a niche way, going from the motherly/helpful figure to still that but less so. She's now explicitly (and weirdly imo) delusional when it comes to understanding/connecting with people, using logic and arguing about her morals. With her angry outbursts at those she disagrees with and her newly revealed secret of 'trying to commit suicide three times' I think there's a very low chance she'll survive. She got fully taken advantage of by David and Niko since day 1 pretty much and will still try to be friends with Niko in chapter 3 I bet despite them literally attempting to frame her for their failed murder attempt. She wants to live so she claims but the odds seem to be against her now with the new group dynamic...

Rose I can also see being both a victim and a killer because of her random micronaps, complex memory with irrelevant memories and passive nature. If she is a victim she could leave a note with related to the most irrelevant clue of the case or use it to her advantage intentionally/unintentionally giving a false witness testimony in her trial (similar to Gonta in V3). She has also been betrayed by Nico (when they stole her turpentine so they could use it for murder), so it would be interesting for her and Hu to interact in more detail in the next chapter onwards. Her surviving to chapter four gives her enough time to come to terms with her memory and helpfulness or to have a different aspect of character development in my opinion.

I could see this murder playing out two ways. The first is that the two get in an argument over Nico, causing Hu to attack first. Rose then defends herself on the fly and thus a messily planned murder method and crime scene play out. The second is that Rose somewhat plans to murder for the sake of getting her family out of financial debt, and could use her art forging skills to make false evidence/visual confusion for her crime scene.

Chapter 5 (Nico kills Levi)

So chapter 5 is usually the chapter where characters take drastic action to end the killing game and/or it will be a very relevant to the final trial where the mastermind is usually exposed. Chapter 2 revealed that both Nico and Levi have alot of unlikeable personality traits that have now been brought to light. Both since the beginning of the killing game have also been social outcasts, and have had difficulty reading social cues. As both of them are murderers I would like to imagine in this scenario that to save the other contestants they have a Gundham/Nekomaru type dual. They've both murdered (or almost) before so neither would shy away given the right circumstances.

Survivors (Teruko, Eden, J, Charles, David)

I think this roster makes for a solid survivor group with an interesting range of personalities. I was originally planning to predict Teruko dying in chapter five because of the popular fan theory that her real secret is 'the killing game is all your fault' but if that's true it would make more sense to keep a consistent protagonist/the reveal would be more satisfying if you could see her reaction. None of the survivors (so far) seem to not be friends with each other so it would be interesting to see them work together to end the killing game, especially with Teruko being so distrusting of others.

David being this game's antagonist who can go either way for helping escape the killing game would be interesting to keep around story wise. Him, Charles and Teruko are three characters who contribute alot to each class trial, so I imagine it would be fun to see more late game bickering between them. And of course him getting blamed for things he didn't do because no one can trust what he says. Given how close he was to Xander it would make sense for him to be alive in order to solve all the mysteries surrounding him.

J while having an average intelligence as well as balance between emotional and logical responses would make for a good mediator between the rest of the survivors. She could also be very good for conveying the themes of fame and popularity because of her backstory (they're on live television which would be goof for ratings).

Eden is sort of the Himiko of this group surviving for the sake of her friends, and being the most devoted when deadly truths about the killing game are revealed (and man I want to know if she really used that fork to stab Xander's eye like alot of fan theories suggest).

I'm hoping and praying as a Charles fan that he and dead his brother who has been forgotten about are relevant enough to the plot for him to survive. In a final class trial as the ultimate chemist would be very useful for analysing and collecting evidence (as long as there is no more blood around which isn't very Danganronpa like haha).

[mccoyquialisms]

I think it's pretty clear that the Rat Grinders didn't kill Lucy purposefully. Partly because of what we learned about how the rage kills, but mostly because I can't see Brennan making a bunch of loser 15 year olds cold-hearted killers (well...maybe Kipperlilly). They may have done so accidentally in self defense vs Lucy essentially killing herself with rage, that part remains unclear. However, I do think that the subsequent coverup has absolutely been deliberate. I think that prior to Lucy's death, the Rat Grinders were involved in trying to revive the rage god and things got out of hand. I don't think they became involved out of love for the thing itself. More likely, they have their own individual motivations that were played upon by someone else, which is why their actions seem so weird and disparate. Ruben and his sudden transition into emo fame; Kipperlilly and her bid for power in the school/revenge against the bad kids for being idk cooler than her I guess; Buddy and his clear attempts to establish his grandfather in the school to spread the word of Sol....I'm sure with more digging compelling motives for Mary Ann, Oisin and Ivy will be found. I can even see Lucy originally being for it if she thought they were a sibling of her god that had once been a benevolent force and potentially could be one again. 

I think an opportunistic adult/adults who seek to bring back this god probably used the Rat Grinders, selling them a chance to have their dreams come true AND one-up their rivals by recreating one of the bad kid's primary achievements: reviving a dead god. That same person could now be threatening them with revealing their hand in Lucy's death to ensure their continued cooperation. I do think the Rat Grinders have a 'divide and conquer' approach where not all of them have the same amount or same type of information (i.e. Kipperlilly excluding Oisin from obtaining the arcano-tech), which is why some of them come off as less suspicious than the others, but I don't think any of them are innocent. It would be pretty bizarre for your party member to die in the tutorial level woods at school and have absolutely no desire to probe deeper into that. The fact that absolutely none of them have indicated they looked for Lucy after her disappearance and immediately replaced her is NOT a good look. If I had to pick a mastermind of the group who has all the information as the primary planner, my money is on Kipperlilly. 

I don't have a clear suspect for the adult influence but Jace Stardiamond has come up wayy too many times in seemingly disparate instances for my comfort. I admit to a lack of motive as of now, but we also barely know anything about the guy, so I'm hoping new information will come to light. I am intrigued by the theory that Porter may be a paladin of this god, knowingly or unknowingly, but I also don't think it's necessarily automatically a bad thing. His thoughts on rage seem very...balanced? I could honestly see him being an adherent of what perhaps was the god's original aspect, rage as a warm presence and a shield, or someone who hopes to return that god to that aspect. I have a hard time seeing him as the type of mastermind that a convoluted plan like this requires, but I won't rule him out as a foot soldier. Lola Embers I've been side eyeing but if Ruben is her new darling, I can imagine him asking her to request the venue of the festival be at the Thistlesprings and that's the end of her involvement. Henry Hopclap is also not above suspicion given his relation to Ruben and the fact that the arcano-tech under the stage seemed pretty advanced (none of the Rat Grinders strike me as particularly talented artificiers capable of something like that), but I'll admit other than that I've got nothing on him.

Ultimately, while Ruben released something incredibly powerful with his ritual, it was clearly merely a first step in a longer plan. Given all the "random" rage outbursts and what we found out at the farm, I'm betting that the rituals performed so far have been to literally poison the earth, leading to everyone in the area breathing in the rage cocaine, therefore expanding this god's influence and making it easier for them to anchor themselves to the material plane. They're going to most likely recreate the ritual Bakur attempted but in the correct place, the school gym, as that is where YES! was created during prom. The real mystery right now is exactly how far are they into this plan, and is it already too late to stop it?

[20s-turtle-posting]

Since Donnie in all iterations is your favorite I was wondering what’s your opinion on Raph?

Actually Raph is my second favorite in most iterations!! As a kid watching 03, Raph was my absolute favorite to the point that red was my favorite color. What I consider to be my first ever fanfiction was Raph centric involving him adopting a cat (no it was not written down, but I "told myself stories" every night before I fell asleep, and that was the first one involving existing characters). That story later involved the cat turning into a person who became his friend but that's besides the point lmao

Specifically 03 Raph was funny to me, I liked that he was loud and aggressive and had an accent. I was like 7 so I don't really think there was anything really deeper than that as a reason, but looking at him now I find him deeply relatable and an incredibly complex and compelling character. Raph feels things so intensely, but he is only fifteen, isolated from the outside world, and poor, so he has very few outlets for his frustration. His outbursts of shouting and anger aren't because he's a bad person (or turtle lol) or because he's just an angry guy, it comes from a whole host of other feelings that he finds difficult to grapple with or express

I think his family knows that, which is why he's given so much grace, and I think that's lovely. I wasn't an angry kid, but having undiagnosed ADHD made me sometimes wish I was; I have vivid memories of feeling trapped in my own body and mind and wishing that I could throw such a huge fit that I would be noticed and given help. Being angry as a woman is shamed in our culture, but being angry is also being seen, and I wanted that. I relate heavily to Raph on that point, of being so full of feelings you can just explode

Uh that got kind of deep but I promise I'm in a way better place mentally lol, anyway Raph I do love a lot and I related to him a lot also from a "middle sibling vibes" kind of angle as well, he's so middle child coded <3