#as they got further into the series
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hinamie · 3 months ago
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long way home
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isjasz · 10 months ago
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Part 1- The Orphanage
IT BEGINS WOOOOOOOO this was meant to inform ppl of the lore in tpn for the sake of the au then it got out of hand helpme
Designs | Part 1 | Part 2 (End)
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deoidesign · 1 month ago
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when your main characters start dating after years of writing so they finally get to be like this
#rare WIP preview from me#this is in like. 10 episodes. lmfao#its been really hard working this far ahead#my editor isnt giving me any feedback and my friends are very busy so it's felt quite lonely#which is fine! for my friends I mean. but its my editors job to give me feedback...#but the webtoon editors are extremely extremely extremely overworked and my series is set to end so I understand its low priority#its not her fault its webtoons fault. however. its still demotivating...#oh well l m a o#I should be much further ahead ngl LMFAO I want like 12 done but I come back in 2 weeks.#we'll see#when I get really stressed out I go full gamer mode#and usually I'll sink like 60 hours (like 5 days) into a game and then I'm good and move on#but this recent game that grabbed me is. its too much actually#bit uncontrollable ngl I think its an ADHD thing I mostly have just quit playing videogames at all#cause its like yeah being stressed cause theres too much work to do is not going to be helped by losing a week and a half to a game...#and yet.#anyways the game is satisfactory#my friend bought it for me and we've been playing together#and our shared file has. 100 hours on it. and we still havent beaten the game#we're close to beating it and it's not like we're rushing or anything#cause its fun to fuck around and zap eachother or whatever#but it's got me doing math. the exact kind of math I love to do. optimization#and its reminding me yeah in another life id have been an engineer#I'm glad I'm an artist but its always weird like yeah this is easily a path I could have gone down#'artists hate math' speak for yourself doing math calms me down! I love math!#I love math and I love business. I'm almost the perfect artist but I hate advertising so. we can't have it all#anyways theyre so fucking cute its sickening. I love them so much. I could cry#WIP#lineart#time and time again
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shittymihodaily · 14 days ago
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Happy Halloween. This year I'm sending out my scary yamiho brainworms to the public
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acourtofquestions · 4 months ago
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Aelin making up new battle rumors about Rowan! While passing human soldiers… random doodle by hmmr.art (on Instagram)
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ecto-stone · 6 months ago
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like i never understand the obession of art Style inconsitencey uproar that SU have during it run. Like have you guy see how vlad is drawn in canon DP. Man change art style like chaging clothing.
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swimmingchicken9 · 3 months ago
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!!be warned... this post contains spoilers for tales from the gas station!!
i think it's really funny how in the 1st 2 books or so spencer is viewed as this absolutely irredeemable animal abuser psychopath murderer but by the 4th book its revealed that actually jack was the shitbag all along
like spencer may or may not be a sociopath but at least he doesnt pick apart grasshoppers or whatever it was in the 1st book
hes just a gun for hire with questionable morals that refuses to die and i think thats the best kind of character honestly
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stiinkbuug · 10 days ago
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my new litmus test for how much i respect someone's dragon age opinons is how they feel about cullen; which is not to say it matters whether you ultimately like or dislike him. i, however, feel if one goes too far in either direction they probably simplify the series a little too much.
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fogwitchoftheevermore · 4 months ago
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Yes! The ways the mechs and mcyt handle narrative have always been so similar to me but I've never been able to put it onto words. Would Love to hear what you have to say on the topic (after you have had a good sleep)
HI, it's time for me to get insane. Thank you for sending this ask cause now I have an excuse to maintag the post, lol. Also, I'm going to be using the term MCYT interchangeably with MCRP (Minecraft roleplay) for my own sanity. You'll know what I mean from context clues, I think.
So, hi, anyone who doesn't know about The Mechanisms. This post is going to be about some meta analysis tools that popped up in the Mechs fandom when it exploded in popularity back in 2020-2021. Due to the nature of both the Mechs and MCYT (which I'll get into in a moment), these concepts are generally very helpful for meta analysis of MCYT as well, and I think you guys would love them.
First of all, what was The Mechanisms?
The Mechanisms, originally known as Dr. Carmilla and The Mechanisms, was a band that formed in the late 2000s. It had a rotating cast of members, though most of the stuff you can easily find from them (such as their albums) was made when they had 8-9 consistent members. The Mechanisms officially released seven albums and one single before the band broke up in early 2020. The reason this band is similar at all to MCYT comes from a few things- the characters the band played, the stories the band told, and the archival aspect/age.
Because the Mechs were not a regular band, it was also a storytelling experience. Each Mechs album tells it's own self contained story (except for the Tales to be Told albums, which feature songs with their own stories that don't tie into the album at large). But furthermore, each Mechanism is a character. All the members of the band had characters they played, acting as a band of immortal space pirates moving through the galaxy on their ship, The Aurora.
The similarity to MCYT here is, of course, the characters. It's not always as simple to tell the difference between MCYT characters and actors as it was with The Mechanisms, seeing as (a lot of) MCYT doesn't start with the acting/roleplaying intention that the Mechs started with. But nonetheless, they share the understanding that even though this isn't a play or a TV show or whatever scripted medium, and that even though these characters (sometimes) share similar/the same names as their creators, they are, ultimately, characters the creators are putting on in order to tell a story. Whether that story is something more connected to the base characters (less roleplay heavy servers, Mechs backstory beats) or a story where the characters themselves are filling a role to tell a new story (more roleplay heavy servers, Mechs filling in for characters on the albums to tell their stories), there is always a story to be told.
There is also, as I said, the archival aspect. Archiving is massively important to both The Mechanisms and MCYT. It's definitely a lot harder with the Mechs than with most MCYT stuff, since the Mechs are a whole lot nicher, but that is not to say it's easy for either group. Archiving is vital to keeping both fanbases, and both sets of characters, alive, and there is only so much archiving you can rely on the creators of either to do. Those of you who take this task on are genuinely so awesome and I love you.
Alongside the archiving aspect (and as such, the lost media aspect), there's also the age of the Mechanisms, and (similarly to MCYT), the large number of people involved in the project, which results in lost and oftentimes conflicting canon beats. Mechs lore was not a strict, planned out thing. Large swaths of it were made up on the fly or forgotten down the line and rewritten or just made to work because the story needed it. As such, a lot of Mechanisms meta analysis had to reckon with the fact that the story was often telling you two or three or more things that could not be true at once nonetheless were, or was telling you something with the assumption that you knew something else, but that something else is now impossible to track down. So, sometimes, you just had to pick and choose, or try to reconstruct that lost knowledge. Similarly, varying POVs and gaps in time or gaps in story result in a similar concept for MCYT analysis- sometimes it doesn't really work if you take every piece of lore into account, so you just can't, even though every piece of lore is equally canon; or sometimes, a specific source is lost and you have to trust the memory of people who saw or were involved in the source instead.
Now, what is narratomancy? And how is it relevant to meta analysis of MCYT?
Narratomancy is the name for a few concepts of meta analysis that popped up when the Mechs fandom exploded in 2020-2021. The term was coined by @lucky-sevens (who, unlike anyone else I bring up in this post, I feel comfortable tagging because they're inactive, lol, so this won't clog their notifs), but the credit for various concepts under the umbrella of narratomancy can go to a ton of people. Personally, I'm going to be heavily referencing one post in particular by @/gunpowderedtim when it comes to the four main pillars of narratomancy, and how they are relevant here. (BTW I know OP of that post has shifted at least a bit to the MCYT fandom as well, so if you see this and would like me to tag you properly, please let me know!)
(EDIT: I was informed in the replies that lucky-sevens did not, in fact, coin this phrase, but they can't remember who specifically did. Alas another Mechs thing lost to time.)
Narratomancy refers to the general concept of the narrative as a thing within the Mechs universe. The narrative, a story that wants to be told, is an (at least semi) sentient creature that is bending the universe to its will in order to be told. This living narrative helps to explain and work through some of the problems or plot holes in the narrative, and understanding this helps a lot for meta analysis, or even just understanding the story. As stated above, I'm going to be breaking down four main pillars that the post above identified, and how they may be relevant to MCYT meta analysis. Not all of them are going to work- these were concepts made up for The Mechanisms, after all, and for all their similarities, it's not a perfect 1 to 1. Let's get into it!
Pillar 1: Universal Story
This is a pillar that has one really important and relevant concept, but I do have to bend a bit of it in order to make it work. Namely, what we're calling "the universe" here. But it's still quite important. You'll see.
As mentioned up top, The Mechanisms were originally called Dr. Carmilla and The Mechanisms. Dr. Carmilla (both the character and the creator) eventually left the Mechs to do her own thing, tell her own story, but the story of the universe at large is still hers. She's still got her name in the title, she's still the one who created the original lore, so to the universe, she's still the main character. She might not be the main character of any given story, even any given story she participates in, but it's all her universe in the end. As such, both her stories and the stories of The Mechanisms are canon, but they might not be strictly canon to each other. Because ultimately, The Mechanisms were the universe's vessel for telling stories, and sometimes the stories they told made for a weird concoction of conflicting canon, so you just had to accept that these conflicting canon beats were both canon, but which one was canon depended entirely on which story you were looking at, which one was trying to be told, who that story specifically was about (this is a concept that'll come up again later).
The reason this is a bit less relevant to MCYT in that, if a roleplay server is being well run, you (hopefully) won't have a main character in this way. And even if you do, that main character is not always going to be the creator of the server/universe, ala Carmilla. But again, it's not irrelevant, because I think this can be applied when you're looking at individual POVs of any given event or server.
Every character is the main character of their own POV, even if they might not be the main character of any given story beat or event. They have their own lore and story to tell in that POV, and when you sit down to watch their POV that is the story you'll get. It just so happens that said story might have things that are canon to it that are not canon to other POVs, that cannot be canon to other POVs, and you as the fan have to reckon with that. Sometimes these things might be small or not something that's gonna really throw you, like the conflicting Magic Mountain lore in this season of Hermitcraft. Other times, these might be really big things, like Martyn's Watcher lore in the Life Series.
But either way, while the idea that there is a Universal Story that has a clear main character doesn't really apply to servers, it certainly ties in to the idea of POVs. And furthermore, the "all of these stories are canon, but not strictly canon to each other" idea that comes along with Universal Story is a really vital thing to keep in mind when it comes to MCYT.
Pillar 2: Casting Call (Narrative Role Filling)
There are two main parts to Casting Call. The first is that The Mechanisms have a role in the stories they tell, even the stories that are not their own, like the album ones. These roles are often trope heavy, or based on pre-existing characters that the Mechanisms themselves have similarities too. The second is that the Mechanisms slot into these roles not necessarily because they want to, but because they have to in order to make the story work. Because the narrative wants them to help the story along to the ending.
This is definitely more relevant in roleplay heavy servers, but it still comes up on just about every server out there. While for the Mechanisms, the divide is between "the character I am" vs. "the character I am playing so the story gets told", the divide for MCYT tends to be a bit more "the person I am" vs. "the character I am playing so the story gets told". This divide (and people's inability to understand it) is the reason why MCYTs so often have to give the "Remember, we're all friends in real life and anything that the others weren't comfortable with wouldn't be in the videos" disclaimer. Everyone involved in this story is playing a character to move the story along, and that character may be totally removed from their real life person (such as Scott playing Xornoth in ESMP s1) or pretty similar to their real life person, but dialed up so they can tell a story, get a reaction (I don't know any of these people in real life, so I can't confidently pin someone down for this, but you get what I'm talking about).
Regardless, there is a story to be told, even if that story isn't thought out in advance, and that requires people playing the villain or the damsel in distress or the knight in shining armor sometimes in order to get it done. And, tying back into Universal Story, who is playing which of these roles can change as the canon of each POV changes (such as in Third Life, where who is filling the "villain" role depends entirely on which POV you're watching).
Pillar 3: Story Echoes
Story Echoes are a very Mechanisms based concept, because unlike everything else here, they are explicitly canon. This concept refers to the fact that The Mechanisms' stories "echo" throughout the universe, or repeat over and over again. It's in different places and different times, but these stories are out there, over and over again.
This one can apply to MCYT, but I have to admit, it's a stretch and a half. Ultimately, the way this applies here is in the fact that there's no such thing as an original story. Every story borrows from or is inspired by or is similar to another story out there. It's the nature of story telling. The first example for MCYT that comes to mind is fan Life Series, stories that take the mechanics of the Life Series but put them somewhere else, somewhen else, with someone else. However, Story Echoes are explicitly the same story repeating over and over again, which isn't really the case with this example. As I said, it's a stretch, but I didn't want to skip over this pillar entirely.
Pillar 4: Narrative Imperative
And the final pillar, Narrative Imperative, also referred to as Narrative Flow. Despite this one also being explicitly canon to The Mechanisms, it is also very relevant to MCYT, and in my opinion, the most important concept on this list for MCYT meta.
Narrative Imperative is explicitly canon in the Mechs universe when it comes to how The Mechanisms heal from injuries or death. As discussed in this post from the official Mechanisms tumblr, that healing factor functions at "whatever speed the story wants it to". This concept of "sometimes stuff just happens because it must for the story, even if it doesn't make sense or actively contradicts previously established canon" has been brought up before when we were discussing Universal Story, in respect to lore, to roleplay based story beats, for both groups. Here, it's more discussing a fact of the universe at large, a fact of how the Mechanisms function. And while the general concept of Narrative Imperative can be applied to literally any conflicting lore thing in any MCYT server or story (it's flexible in that way), I think it works best when talking about how game mechanics tie into the story.
What does death mean for this character? What does death mean for this character when on this specific server? What does death mean for this character on this specific server in this specific moment? What does logging off mean for this character, on this server, in this moment? What does voice mod or discord calls or chat mean to this character? What do skin changes mean? What does the Player Heads mod mean? What does sleep mean?
There are a million mechanics you can ask these questions about, and you can get a million different answers to each of them. Death can and does mean wildly different things on different servers (see: a Hardcore series like Naked and Afraid versus Hermitcraft). But it can also mean wildly different things on the same server to the same character at different points in time (see: the concept of "canon lives" on DSMP). Death, and numerous other game mechanics, mean whatever the hell the story (and the universe and creators involved) wants them to mean. You just have to take it in stride, the rules aren't clear because if they were, there wouldn't be enough freedom to tell a story.
Even on servers where it seems like the rules are clear, like the Life Series or other death games, death doesn't always mean what the rules say it does. Take glitch deaths, for example, like Loony's (almost) glitched death in season 1 of Deceit SMP. He glitched into a wall and should have died, but Legundo was allowed to cheat (use creative) to save him, or, had he died, been allowed to use cheats to bring him back, for fairness' sake. But this doesn't only apply to glitches- take one of Scar's off camera deaths in Third Life. I don't have the source for when Martyn talked about this on hand, but Martyn has mentioned that Scar technically died earlier in Third Life, when Martyn just snapped one day when Scar provoked him, killing Scar in a short, boring fight. There was nothing technically illegal or unfair about that kill, like with a glitched death, but when all was said and done, everyone agreed it just sort of... felt bad. That it didn't feel like a good story. So, the death was overturned, and the server went on as usual. The rules may have been clear here, but sometimes rules get in the way of a good story, so they're disregarded, simple as that.
MCYT stories are not being told in spite of their medium but in harmony with them. And as such, that means that sometimes, the narrative rules above all, and narrative imperative says that this mechanic is going to work like this, at least for now, at least for me. It might not ever work like that again, for me or for anyone else on the server, but it works like that in this moment, so you take it as is.
So, yeah, there's my essay! My final thoughts: Go listen to The Mechanisms. Go listen to Maki Yamazaki (Dr. Carmilla). I hope you enjoy these four concepts and keep them in mind when you are analyzing or playing the space of MCRP, because I think they are really helpful things to keep in mind. Have a good one.
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everybodyshusband · 1 year ago
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@moony-ghoul’s post got me thinking about a farm au where the ghouls live in a big farmhouse in the countryside :3
they grow crops in the fields and have a herd of cows, a herd of sheep up in the nearby hill, horses in the stables and a big ol’ chicken coop. they make their living by selling their milk/butter/eggs to the nearby town and every day dew is up before the sunrise to milk the cows. he and mountain pass each other and share a quiet, sleepy conversation and a kiss when they pass each other on their way to their respective tasks (dew to the barn for the cows, and mountain to the stables to ready the horse and cart for his daily milk run)
aeon has a soft spot for the chickens so rain and cirrus are teaching him how to take proper care of them. he was entirely horrified when he first learnt that he needs to feed the chickens their own eggshells along with their regular pellets and kitchen scraps
aurora has a soft spot for the sheep. she’d stand up on the hill and watch them for hours if she could. she trained the sheep dog herself and everyone calls her “little bo peep” whenever they see her coming back down to the house. sunshine bought her a shepard’s staff as a joke but aurora LOVES it and refuses to visit her sheep without it
since aeon’s taken over the chickens, rain decided the farm needed bees and now he’s got a few hives going. they sit just outside the kitchen windows so whoever’s working in their can open the window and hear the gentle hum of the bees while they cook. cirrus helps rain harvest the honey when it needs it and they both take great pride in the labels they designed. they’re working hard to convince mountain to take some of their jars on his milk cart rounds to see if he can sell some in town
aether’s a horse girlie <3 he grooms them well and makes sure their coats are shiny and pretty and that they’re all healthy enough to be pulling the farm machinery in the fields
sunshine’s self-imposed daily talk is going around the farm making sure everything has water. that includes the animal’s water bowels/troughs and that the collection of houseplants, the vege garden and the fruit orchid. she has a collection of watering cans but her green one with flowers painted on it in her favourite
swiss works the dairy room. he takes the milk from dew in the mornings and keeps some as milk (making sure he’s run it through a milk separator before he bottles it), some he churns for butter and some he sets aside to turn into cream
cumulus loooooves the wheat field <3 if no one knows where she is, the first place they look is there. she finds it calming to stand in between the furrows and watch everything sway in the wind. she’s the one who drives the battered old truck down to the flour mill a few hours away and brings back bags filled with soft flour (she sells most of it, but keeps a few bags for the farm so they can use their own flour in their baking)
speaking of baking and cooking, they all share the responsibilities of the kitchen depending on who’s done what that day but they all have things that they’re the go-to to make it. cumulus and her breads are renowned throughout the land (no seriously, she’s had people come to the farm asking to buy her bread) and she gets so much joy from carving little designs into her sourdough loaves and seeing how they turn out once they’re baked. cirrus is the BEST at making omelettes and she has a special knack for knowing which eggs will have double yolks in them. rain is surprisingly good at barbecuing/grilling and cooks roasts fantastically well with the perfect seasoning and melt-in-the-mouth deliciousness. aether the king of baking will bake so many sweet treats and they’re all soooo tasty and addictive. he’s mastered almost everything but they got a new stand mixer for their kitchen and he has No Idea how to work it so he mixes everything by hand. luckily, aurora knows exactly how it works so sometimes she and aeth will tag-team in the kitchen to make things faster. they also love decorating things together and aurora is fantastic at plating their dinners up so elegantly. aeon can cook curries and rice and that’s IT but no one else can get the rice cooked quite as well as they can, so no one’s really complaining. dew and mountain are the best at cooking warm comfort meals and soups in the winter so if neither of them are busy and someone is in need of a little extra cheering up, they’ll make the person’s favourite comfort meal to keep their spirits up and remind them of how much they’re loved. swiss and pizzas OH MAN. he can do all the fancy spinning tricks with the pizza dough and they always come out of the pizza oven (he and aurora only finished building it a few weeks ago) perfectly cooked through. he loves preparing pizza nights for everyone where he’ll prepare the dough and toppings on the massive kitchen table and let everyone roll their own dough and choose their own toppings before he puts them all in the oven and calls everyone to their meal when it’s ready. sunshine is the queen of soups and salads. she can whip together a soup or a salad out of practically thin air and they’re always so tasty and pair perfectly with whatever else is being made for dinner that night
they all help out with everything (both in the kitchen and with tasks around the farm) especially when it’s time to harvest the fields and it’s all hands on deck to get everything done, but in my mind these are their main tasks/favourite things to do around their little country farm <3
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calciumcryptid · 5 months ago
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Decided my proposal for a We Are Series ghostship is Beer and Kleun. They could make a very chill couple.
#they might seem boring as a concept but that is why i love the idea of them getting together#imagine with me:#we all agree beer deserves good things#through his his screentime kluen was shown to be a green flag but he had a crush on the wrong person to have a crush on#so beer and kluen meet again independent of the group similarly to the beer and peem interaction#beer makes a comment on kluen disappearing after the volunteer camp and kluen awkwardly says he joined to hit on peem and beer sympathizes#they eat together and talk about the volunteer camp further and beer comments on how jealous phum was of kluen#kluen is in disbelief phumpeem aren't together yet and beer laughs#they have a good time and exchange numbers so periodically in the show beer would be on his phone giving kluen live updates#the two resonate over having braincells and meet up for lunch more and more frequently as tan and phum are enraptured#eventually mick catches them together and jokes he feels like he is third-wheeling a date#beer and kluen both say it is not a date and mick makes a face before going back to his video games#mick is so absorbed in his video games he doesnt witness beer and kluen agree to try and go on an actual date right in front of him#cue we are series typical nonsense as the cast keeps catching beer and kluen on dates without realizing they are on a date#until beer shows up with kluen to a gathering and reintroduces him as his boyfriend#everyone is surprised they got together so quick and beer has to explain to them not every relationship is a bl#then beerkluen becomes everyones relationship counselors because they hold the sacred braincells#at some point phum asks beer how he feels about kluens former crush on peem and beer stresses it was a former crush and relatively minor#and phum realizes he was really shitty and unreasonable to kluen and apologizes and they become friends#just the ghostship of beerkluen#we are the series#we are series#beerkluen#fuck it ill make it a tag
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phoenix-before-the-flame · 2 months ago
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I’m watching one piece, and now I’m wondering do you have any hcs on the world building in the fairy tail universe ? Do you think theirs some crazy kingdom’s , advanced technology in some lands ? Love to hear your thoughts 💗
hmmmmmmmmmmm kinda a bit of a deep question tbh.
Structurally FT has good bones for its world. And that's kinda it lol
There's a fleshed out map of all the countries within the continent that fiore is found on (Ishgar, which has 16 named countries apart from fiore itself) and expanding wider than that we know that there are about 3 named continents (Ishgar to the east being a peninsula connected to the mainland that we know nothing of, Alakitasia to the west where Alavarez is and Guiltina to the north) and a fourth unnamed continent further east that exists within earthland.
But while we have all this info, nothing in particular comes into play as the series had progressed, the majority of the series' arcs all more or less take place within the same country, which for a series that has it's characters constantly travelling for missions looks particularly bad, especially when even the known locations all visually seem indistinct from each other in terms of stuff like architecture. It's a reason why I appreciate edolas in particular because it at least offered something that visually stood out and an insight into how that culture functioned. (and in Phoenix Priestess for the small montage the squad in the city of Rose Garden and showing a bit of the country Veronica)
Like it is frustrating to me whenever I think on it because the solution would be just to change the locations of where they travel to just to expand the background of the places travelled, wouldn't even have to change arc structures or anything to give some life to the named countries like:
Joya despite its small size as a country is the main manufacturers of trains and exports the majority of the transportation other countries use as well as weapons. Wizards are less found here, with treasure hunting being a more popular job choice.
Sin, despite the ironic name, is a deeply religious and faith driven country. Magics that have connection to nature and celestial bodies are particularly revered here.
Desierto mostly deals with trade, having constantly active shipping ports. Enchanted items such as brooms and carpets are popular and easy transport choices within cities and are more widely used than vehicles.
Iceberg's largely uninhabited due to the weather with most of the population sticking closer to the country's borders.
Like this is all just purely flavour text examples to just try and bring some life to these otherwise lifeless locations but you get the general gist of it.
There was clearly this effort to establish these locations by giving then names (and drawing a full on map) so it always boggled me that they were never properly used as a backdrop for the arcs within the story. (Tower of Heaven? Move that arc to Sin, Lucy's arc with Loke? Takes place in Stella, That arc with the giant village? Put it in Minstrel).
Like shifting around major arc locations would easily open up avenues to naturally expand the world as the story moves. And not even just big arcs, but smaller less grand filler arcs (which jesus christ did ft rlly need because it defs need breathing room between all the big events. It's why the story moves at such a breakneck speed without things really feeling as though they've changed in any meaningful ways) would do wonders to make earthland feel like a genuine lived in world (like how it is within the world of one piece that you cited as an inspo for this ask.)
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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
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idc if im premature im making the 'mine lived' posts NOW
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tearlessrain · 7 months ago
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seriously can catastrophes stop happening for five minutes my brain is already fried from the ones we're already experiencing
#I fucking. missed d&d tonight by accident#I straight up forgot#and just didn't show up to the session#my sleep schedule is absolutely fucked#I should be sleeping now but brain won't shut up#my creative output is the lowest it's ever been and I've been in some level of depressive funk since like early january#I am just deeply unfathomably exhausted#like mentally and spiritually#all the time#my memory and sense of time are both shit#my spelling is worse than it used to be for some reason??#I really don't know what to do to make my brain start functioning again it's frankly worrying me#I couldn't even handle college so it should come as no surprise that I'm reacting poorly to the world being a perpetual screaming trash fir#and yet#idk it's been hitting again lately that I have never succeeded at anything in my life and just keep tripping and falling up for some reason#fucking everyone is in hell right now and with my overall success rate I should be dead in a ditch but I'm actually doing spectacularly#due to a series of improbable accidents and weird circumstances that happened to turn out in my favor instead of completely fucking me#aside from the looming spectre of my various failed attempts to have some kind of life trajectory#it just doesn't feel like this can keep up forever#like surely at some point the luck has got to run out I can't just keep living like some kind of folkloric trickster archetype#but my motivation and sense of purpose kind of died after the last failed attempt so I'm still just here#doing whatever this is#maybe I should drive out to the coast#maybe staring at the ocean would fix me I've been away from it for too long#I mean it can't make me worse#I should wait until further into summer though so I don't have to drive back in the dark#everyone around here has trucks with those goddamn LED headlights and I've got a little sedan that's directly in their blast zone
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tmntkiseki · 10 months ago
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*Grabs Venus, Alopex, and Mona Lisa*
YOU'RE COMING TO 2003 LAND WITH ME
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vero-niche · 2 months ago
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anyway. give shoushimin series a try
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