#im gonna be tagging all the servers i mention by name but like i said this can apply to just about any server
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Yes! The ways the mechs and mcyt handle narrative have always been so similar to me but I've never been able to put it onto words. Would Love to hear what you have to say on the topic (after you have had a good sleep)
HI, it's time for me to get insane. Thank you for sending this ask cause now I have an excuse to maintag the post, lol. Also, I'm going to be using the term MCYT interchangeably with MCRP (Minecraft roleplay) for my own sanity. You'll know what I mean from context clues, I think.
So, hi, anyone who doesn't know about The Mechanisms. This post is going to be about some meta analysis tools that popped up in the Mechs fandom when it exploded in popularity back in 2020-2021. Due to the nature of both the Mechs and MCYT (which I'll get into in a moment), these concepts are generally very helpful for meta analysis of MCYT as well, and I think you guys would love them.
First of all, what was The Mechanisms?
The Mechanisms, originally known as Dr. Carmilla and The Mechanisms, was a band that formed in the late 2000s. It had a rotating cast of members, though most of the stuff you can easily find from them (such as their albums) was made when they had 8-9 consistent members. The Mechanisms officially released seven albums and one single before the band broke up in early 2020. The reason this band is similar at all to MCYT comes from a few things- the characters the band played, the stories the band told, and the archival aspect/age.
Because the Mechs were not a regular band, it was also a storytelling experience. Each Mechs album tells it's own self contained story (except for the Tales to be Told albums, which feature songs with their own stories that don't tie into the album at large). But furthermore, each Mechanism is a character. All the members of the band had characters they played, acting as a band of immortal space pirates moving through the galaxy on their ship, The Aurora.
The similarity to MCYT here is, of course, the characters. It's not always as simple to tell the difference between MCYT characters and actors as it was with The Mechanisms, seeing as (a lot of) MCYT doesn't start with the acting/roleplaying intention that the Mechs started with. But nonetheless, they share the understanding that even though this isn't a play or a TV show or whatever scripted medium, and that even though these characters (sometimes) share similar/the same names as their creators, they are, ultimately, characters the creators are putting on in order to tell a story. Whether that story is something more connected to the base characters (less roleplay heavy servers, Mechs backstory beats) or a story where the characters themselves are filling a role to tell a new story (more roleplay heavy servers, Mechs filling in for characters on the albums to tell their stories), there is always a story to be told.
There is also, as I said, the archival aspect. Archiving is massively important to both The Mechanisms and MCYT. It's definitely a lot harder with the Mechs than with most MCYT stuff, since the Mechs are a whole lot nicher, but that is not to say it's easy for either group. Archiving is vital to keeping both fanbases, and both sets of characters, alive, and there is only so much archiving you can rely on the creators of either to do. Those of you who take this task on are genuinely so awesome and I love you.
Alongside the archiving aspect (and as such, the lost media aspect), there's also the age of the Mechanisms, and (similarly to MCYT), the large number of people involved in the project, which results in lost and oftentimes conflicting canon beats. Mechs lore was not a strict, planned out thing. Large swaths of it were made up on the fly or forgotten down the line and rewritten or just made to work because the story needed it. As such, a lot of Mechanisms meta analysis had to reckon with the fact that the story was often telling you two or three or more things that could not be true at once nonetheless were, or was telling you something with the assumption that you knew something else, but that something else is now impossible to track down. So, sometimes, you just had to pick and choose, or try to reconstruct that lost knowledge. Similarly, varying POVs and gaps in time or gaps in story result in a similar concept for MCYT analysis- sometimes it doesn't really work if you take every piece of lore into account, so you just can't, even though every piece of lore is equally canon; or sometimes, a specific source is lost and you have to trust the memory of people who saw or were involved in the source instead.
Now, what is narratomancy? And how is it relevant to meta analysis of MCYT?
Narratomancy is the name for a few concepts of meta analysis that popped up when the Mechs fandom exploded in 2020-2021. The term was coined by @lucky-sevens (who, unlike anyone else I bring up in this post, I feel comfortable tagging because they're inactive, lol, so this won't clog their notifs), but the credit for various concepts under the umbrella of narratomancy can go to a ton of people. Personally, I'm going to be heavily referencing one post in particular by @/gunpowderedtim when it comes to the four main pillars of narratomancy, and how they are relevant here. (BTW I know OP of that post has shifted at least a bit to the MCYT fandom as well, so if you see this and would like me to tag you properly, please let me know!)
(EDIT: I was informed in the replies that lucky-sevens did not, in fact, coin this phrase, but they can't remember who specifically did. Alas another Mechs thing lost to time.)
Narratomancy refers to the general concept of the narrative as a thing within the Mechs universe. The narrative, a story that wants to be told, is an (at least semi) sentient creature that is bending the universe to its will in order to be told. This living narrative helps to explain and work through some of the problems or plot holes in the narrative, and understanding this helps a lot for meta analysis, or even just understanding the story. As stated above, I'm going to be breaking down four main pillars that the post above identified, and how they may be relevant to MCYT meta analysis. Not all of them are going to work- these were concepts made up for The Mechanisms, after all, and for all their similarities, it's not a perfect 1 to 1. Let's get into it!
Pillar 1: Universal Story
This is a pillar that has one really important and relevant concept, but I do have to bend a bit of it in order to make it work. Namely, what we're calling "the universe" here. But it's still quite important. You'll see.
As mentioned up top, The Mechanisms were originally called Dr. Carmilla and The Mechanisms. Dr. Carmilla (both the character and the creator) eventually left the Mechs to do her own thing, tell her own story, but the story of the universe at large is still hers. She's still got her name in the title, she's still the one who created the original lore, so to the universe, she's still the main character. She might not be the main character of any given story, even any given story she participates in, but it's all her universe in the end. As such, both her stories and the stories of The Mechanisms are canon, but they might not be strictly canon to each other. Because ultimately, The Mechanisms were the universe's vessel for telling stories, and sometimes the stories they told made for a weird concoction of conflicting canon, so you just had to accept that these conflicting canon beats were both canon, but which one was canon depended entirely on which story you were looking at, which one was trying to be told, who that story specifically was about (this is a concept that'll come up again later).
The reason this is a bit less relevant to MCYT in that, if a roleplay server is being well run, you (hopefully) won't have a main character in this way. And even if you do, that main character is not always going to be the creator of the server/universe, ala Carmilla. But again, it's not irrelevant, because I think this can be applied when you're looking at individual POVs of any given event or server.
Every character is the main character of their own POV, even if they might not be the main character of any given story beat or event. They have their own lore and story to tell in that POV, and when you sit down to watch their POV that is the story you'll get. It just so happens that said story might have things that are canon to it that are not canon to other POVs, that cannot be canon to other POVs, and you as the fan have to reckon with that. Sometimes these things might be small or not something that's gonna really throw you, like the conflicting Magic Mountain lore in this season of Hermitcraft. Other times, these might be really big things, like Martyn's Watcher lore in the Life Series.
But either way, while the idea that there is a Universal Story that has a clear main character doesn't really apply to servers, it certainly ties in to the idea of POVs. And furthermore, the "all of these stories are canon, but not strictly canon to each other" idea that comes along with Universal Story is a really vital thing to keep in mind when it comes to MCYT.
Pillar 2: Casting Call (Narrative Role Filling)
There are two main parts to Casting Call. The first is that The Mechanisms have a role in the stories they tell, even the stories that are not their own, like the album ones. These roles are often trope heavy, or based on pre-existing characters that the Mechanisms themselves have similarities too. The second is that the Mechanisms slot into these roles not necessarily because they want to, but because they have to in order to make the story work. Because the narrative wants them to help the story along to the ending.
This is definitely more relevant in roleplay heavy servers, but it still comes up on just about every server out there. While for the Mechanisms, the divide is between "the character I am" vs. "the character I am playing so the story gets told", the divide for MCYT tends to be a bit more "the person I am" vs. "the character I am playing so the story gets told". This divide (and people's inability to understand it) is the reason why MCYTs so often have to give the "Remember, we're all friends in real life and anything that the others weren't comfortable with wouldn't be in the videos" disclaimer. Everyone involved in this story is playing a character to move the story along, and that character may be totally removed from their real life person (such as Scott playing Xornoth in ESMP s1) or pretty similar to their real life person, but dialed up so they can tell a story, get a reaction (I don't know any of these people in real life, so I can't confidently pin someone down for this, but you get what I'm talking about).
Regardless, there is a story to be told, even if that story isn't thought out in advance, and that requires people playing the villain or the damsel in distress or the knight in shining armor sometimes in order to get it done. And, tying back into Universal Story, who is playing which of these roles can change as the canon of each POV changes (such as in Third Life, where who is filling the "villain" role depends entirely on which POV you're watching).
Pillar 3: Story Echoes
Story Echoes are a very Mechanisms based concept, because unlike everything else here, they are explicitly canon. This concept refers to the fact that The Mechanisms' stories "echo" throughout the universe, or repeat over and over again. It's in different places and different times, but these stories are out there, over and over again.
This one can apply to MCYT, but I have to admit, it's a stretch and a half. Ultimately, the way this applies here is in the fact that there's no such thing as an original story. Every story borrows from or is inspired by or is similar to another story out there. It's the nature of story telling. The first example for MCYT that comes to mind is fan Life Series, stories that take the mechanics of the Life Series but put them somewhere else, somewhen else, with someone else. However, Story Echoes are explicitly the same story repeating over and over again, which isn't really the case with this example. As I said, it's a stretch, but I didn't want to skip over this pillar entirely.
Pillar 4: Narrative Imperative
And the final pillar, Narrative Imperative, also referred to as Narrative Flow. Despite this one also being explicitly canon to The Mechanisms, it is also very relevant to MCYT, and in my opinion, the most important concept on this list for MCYT meta.
Narrative Imperative is explicitly canon in the Mechs universe when it comes to how The Mechanisms heal from injuries or death. As discussed in this post from the official Mechanisms tumblr, that healing factor functions at "whatever speed the story wants it to". This concept of "sometimes stuff just happens because it must for the story, even if it doesn't make sense or actively contradicts previously established canon" has been brought up before when we were discussing Universal Story, in respect to lore, to roleplay based story beats, for both groups. Here, it's more discussing a fact of the universe at large, a fact of how the Mechanisms function. And while the general concept of Narrative Imperative can be applied to literally any conflicting lore thing in any MCYT server or story (it's flexible in that way), I think it works best when talking about how game mechanics tie into the story.
What does death mean for this character? What does death mean for this character when on this specific server? What does death mean for this character on this specific server in this specific moment? What does logging off mean for this character, on this server, in this moment? What does voice mod or discord calls or chat mean to this character? What do skin changes mean? What does the Player Heads mod mean? What does sleep mean?
There are a million mechanics you can ask these questions about, and you can get a million different answers to each of them. Death can and does mean wildly different things on different servers (see: a Hardcore series like Naked and Afraid versus Hermitcraft). But it can also mean wildly different things on the same server to the same character at different points in time (see: the concept of "canon lives" on DSMP). Death, and numerous other game mechanics, mean whatever the hell the story (and the universe and creators involved) wants them to mean. You just have to take it in stride, the rules aren't clear because if they were, there wouldn't be enough freedom to tell a story.
Even on servers where it seems like the rules are clear, like the Life Series or other death games, death doesn't always mean what the rules say it does. Take glitch deaths, for example, like Loony's (almost) glitched death in season 1 of Deceit SMP. He glitched into a wall and should have died, but Legundo was allowed to cheat (use creative) to save him, or, had he died, been allowed to use cheats to bring him back, for fairness' sake. But this doesn't only apply to glitches- take one of Scar's off camera deaths in Third Life. I don't have the source for when Martyn talked about this on hand, but Martyn has mentioned that Scar technically died earlier in Third Life, when Martyn just snapped one day when Scar provoked him, killing Scar in a short, boring fight. There was nothing technically illegal or unfair about that kill, like with a glitched death, but when all was said and done, everyone agreed it just sort of... felt bad. That it didn't feel like a good story. So, the death was overturned, and the server went on as usual. The rules may have been clear here, but sometimes rules get in the way of a good story, so they're disregarded, simple as that.
MCYT stories are not being told in spite of their medium but in harmony with them. And as such, that means that sometimes, the narrative rules above all, and narrative imperative says that this mechanic is going to work like this, at least for now, at least for me. It might not ever work like that again, for me or for anyone else on the server, but it works like that in this moment, so you take it as is.
So, yeah, there's my essay! My final thoughts: Go listen to The Mechanisms. Go listen to Maki Yamazaki (Dr. Carmilla). I hope you enjoy these four concepts and keep them in mind when you are analyzing or playing the space of MCRP, because I think they are really helpful things to keep in mind. Have a good one.
#im gonna be tagging all the servers i mention by name but like i said this can apply to just about any server#hermitcraft#third life smp#life series#dsmp#empires smp#deceit smp#analysis post#been a while since i got to use that tag#this similarity is also why i think so many mechs fans have moved onto mcyt#the appeal is there! its SO there!#please give this post some love guys i listened to two whole mechs albums while writing it#because i really wanted to make this clear so it took me 100 years#(the length of UDAD TTBTV1 and the gender rebels show)#im not gonna put the mechs tag on this though. i dont think i should#theres already enough tma crossposting in there i dont need to bog them down further#long post#IM SO SORRY I FORGOT TO PUT THAT TAG ON THIS
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Just a quick message on someone who used to be in the Hazbin Rewrite server.
If you can vaguepost about me I can vaguepost about you too. Except its not gonna be vague because I'm going to say your fucking name. I'm not sugarcoating anything.
Wannursyafiqah74, leave me, my friends, and the Hazbin Rewrite server alone. We want NOTHING to do with you and your manipulation tactics and obsessive behaviour.
Just because I haven't been as "mean" about the situation doesn't mean I'm any less angry. I don't want to talk to you. Move. The fuck. On.
You've treated Neon and their system HORRIBLY throughout all of this, constantly bringing up things that they SAID. MULTIPLE. TIMES. Triggered them. You threatened suicide if they didnt help you. You constantly mentioned SA and abuse. You'd go to channels Neon was chatting in just to mention these things. And you never stopped, even when we threatened MULTIPLE TIMES to leave if it carried on. But you still did it! Why? I dont know! But it lead to us not wanting to associate with you anymore! Then when you left our friend server to move on and "improve", you just started doing the same shit in a completely unrelated Hazbin Rewrite server filled with minors who aren't equipped to help you with your personal problems!
I sent you that message weeks ago in hopes of you actually following through. I kept you unblocked with hopes that you wouldn't betray my trust like you had so many times by breaking your promise to cease contact.
This should have been the end of it. But you did it again. You didnt even apologise, you just went straight to asking if you could post art in our server! And even AFTER admitting it was stupid, you sent me another god damn friend request on discord. (Yep, friend requests show what time they were sent now!) So I blocked you. You've broken the last inch of trust I gave you.
We can't forgive you for the scars you've left us and ESPECIALLY Neon's system.
Im not playing quiet mouse anymore. I'm sick of this shit and I just want to be left alone. So do Al, Neon's system, and the Rewrite Server. Stop using me as a tool to get back into servers. I'm not falling for it anymore.
Tagging vivziepop critical tags as a lot of the Hazbin Rewrite members reside there. They can add on if they please with evidence, screenshots, etc. Love y'all, /platonic, I hope you're able to recover from all of this.
#Wannursyafiqah74#Vent#Callout#Vivziepop critical#Vivziepop criticism#Hazbin hotel critique#Hazbin hotel critical#Anti vivziepop
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[TW: Manipulation, Bullying(?), Light Mentions of Physical Abuse, and possibly more, i genuinely dont know how to tw this sorry]
Hi, call me Shadow. Im looking for some advice on how to move on from the situation below, some reassurance, or atleast someone to listen to me without judgment. Sorry for any grammer/spelling mistakes
They're alot of parentheses, extra notes, and run on sentences so apologizes for length
About 6ish month ago, i cut off a very toxic friend. Said friend, lets call them A, would offen make fun of and tease everyone in our friend group 'to show love' and such. Which is fine, some people are okay with that but personally im not as ive dealt with many toxic friends who've hurt me by using that as a cover up.
A was an irl friend of three people in our group's server that was invited on really late, i was pretty guarded and afraid around them for awhile, both because of a new person and because i had a feeling some was off with them. I ignored it, thinking i was just being overprotective and overthinking things again. After a few months things settled and it seem they fit in almost perfectly, till suddenly their jokes started getting really targeted and mean.
They started targeted me and one of my partners, constantly making cruel 'jokes' about us, everything from "if you're on [name]/[name]'s team [insert bad thing] will happen to you" to jokes that were just insults played off as jokes. I tried multiple times to ask them to stop but they played the "its just a joke" everytime
It got the point they started holding my reactions over me, and even purposely making me upset to have something to use against me. The main incident i remember is them pretending to be mad at me while i was rambling and spent atleast 10mins pretending to type to make me anxious (they later admitted this to one of my friends who then told me), and when they finally sent their message which ended up being a joke related to what i was rambling, i in my moment of vulnerability due to rambling (rambling for me is like exposing my soul) and them scarring me, i accidentally admitted i was afraid i was gonna be yelled at
They then took to posting what i said in our quotes channel for everyone to see after i deleted my message. They refused to delete the message and even started deleting mine in response (they were a mod on our server), it took owner stepping in to fix this
A started using their mod powers to delete both of my partners' messages when they started speaking out against all three of our treatment. They also deleted our messages unrelated to that, making us look terrible in pass conversations.
When me i finally snapped and ledt the server, moving to another server hosted by a different friend that 90% of us were also one, they started messaging me for answers and to "apologize" aka blame me for what happened. They were nice and reasonable at first, but then they started pressuring me into in their words "cursing them out", which i unfortunately gave into.
A used it as an excuse to blame me for everything, blame me for never speaking up despite me constantly trying and being met with "its just a joke bro" they tried lying me about them using tone tags despite that fact they never used them. I blocked them quickly after that, seeing what they were doing but barely a day after they tried talking to one of my partners about it.
In the message A sent they tried to place all the blame on my other partner, saying that they deserve everything that happened. They said i shouldnt be absolutely pissed at them about what happened to my partner, what they (A) put them through. To say that was the final straw is an understatement.
A destroyed me and my partner's self worth and confidence, has made us even months later second guess our every word and even our friends. Afraid their gonna turn against and treat us like A did. A made me question my own judgment and stuff with their lies. They tried placing blame on me for unrelated things, they tried to ruin my image. And as we later found out A physical hurt one of the three people in our group they knew irl, often.
Im still constantly afraid of A finding their way back to the new server even tho they're blocked, ive had ex friends stalk me to almost creepshowart levels and i wouldn't put it past them to do that. Most of the process i made with my friends to open up and be myself more destroyed. I fear people talking behind my back again, cuz apparently A tried starting a secret server with my friends who were aware of what happened due to exams to trash talk me, which failed but still.
I still feel terrible about all this, i didnt speak out when A originally started trash talking my partner out of fear, now i feel bad for causing my friends to basically lose our originally server because of this. The guilt eats at me even tho i know this was the best choice for everyone
Tldr/summary cuz its long
An ex friend of mine would constantly bully me and one of my partners and when we finally stand up for ourselves they tried manipulating us and our other friends into making them the good guy and us the bad guys. Even going as far as trying to fake evidence (which ive learn as of writing this)
Even months after im still suffering the effects of everything and i dont know how to try moving on. I am trying to seek therapy again but the health system here is terrible and expensive, so im trying to possibly find ways to help myself while waiting
Hi Shadow,
I'm so sorry to hear about the toxic friendship you had. The way your friend treated you and your partner was completely unacceptable. Their behavior of making mean-spirited jokes, targeting and insulting both of you, and dismissing your requests to stop is not a sign of love or friendship. It's important to remember that you deserve respect, kindness, and support in your relationships.
It seems like A used their position as a mod to further their harmful actions. Deleting messages, manipulating situations, and attempting to shift blame are clear signs of their toxic behavior. It's unfortunate that they tried to undermine your self-worth and confidence, as well as create divisions among your friends. This kind of treatment can have lasting effects, but it's essential to recognize that their behavior is a reflection of their own issues and not a reflection of your worth.
Please know that healing is a gradual process, and it's okay to give yourself time and space to heal at your own pace. It's understandable to have moments of doubt or fear, but try to remind yourself that you have taken positive steps by cutting off a toxic relationship. You deserve peace and happiness in your life.
I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.
-Bun
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Conversation I donât understand
Starting off Context. We are discussing Hardcore World of Warcraft ruleset. There is a rule set built by the community that you have to follow to play the game mode and get a âvalidatedâ level 60 run. There is no Blizzard official servers as of yet.Â
Ok so the acquaintanceÂ
(A) starts off with asking me if I wanted to duo. "or full party?"Â
 Me: mention only duo/trios are allowed.Â
A: Well then by full I mean 3Â
Me: Official servers I doubt will have grouping restrictionsÂ
A: Although thats fucking stupid. Yeah official wont restrict it, coz its fucking dumb.Â
Me: but under current rules you can't group unless you enter in a name for duo/trio at level 1Â
A: Also yes I saw the rulesÂ
Me: Â i mean a full HC party would be able to just blast everything no challengeÂ
A: Â the game is literally made with the idea around a full party playing the whole game. that was like the whole concept of mmos at the time.Â
Me: Â ehhh only for group content like elite quest and dungeons. I enjoy my solo gameplay while leveling tbh. the one thing i hate about the non grouping thing is for named mob tagsÂ
A: Â it was after that they were like oh this kinda sucks ass for solo players and slowly rebuilt the game around it. Â it was made that way coz they thought people would be running in packs of 4-5Â
Me: i mean they changed it later to just allow anyone who damages a mob gets credit. implementing that in HC official wouldn't be a terrible change.Â
A: all im saying is that being like "full group too ez" is dumb. but so is banning bubble hearthingÂ
Me: but leave group petriflask ghetto hearth allowedÂ
 A:  liek yes its stupidly broken but its a mechanic of the game just grow up and dont play pally if u dont like it rightÂ
Me: there is some rules that i find stupid as hellÂ
A: literally all of them are dumb as hell to me. Â only one dungeon run allowed? (Spams ?????)Â
 Me:  it makes it so you can't overgear shitÂ
A: overgear?Â
 Me: you farm bis every level from every dungeon you overgear any other contentÂ
A: yeah like the way the game was literally designed to be played lmaoÂ
Me: then don't play hardcore LmaoÂ
A: its so dumb to be like no that makes it to easy. you still have to do the dungeonÂ
Me: you don't have to do any dungeonsÂ
A: dungeons being the most dangerous places int eh game outside raidsÂ
Me: i've seen people level entirely from quest and grinding.I personally just hate spamming the same dungeons over and over though. i'd rather quest.i did that on classic release with friends cause it was "meta" (dungeon spam).spamming dungeons makes me wanna drink, I hate it so much.Â
 A: wot im saying is that it was an option that was put in from the start as a mechnic of the game and it makes no sense to ban or restrict its use. like you can still level to max as a mage in 4 days hardcore none of these rules stop that? (spams ???).  but dungeons make the content to easy?Â
Me: man idk the fucking thought process behind everythingÂ
A: this is why i am confused lol its just dumb and arbitrary and i want a full set for mydruidÂ
Me: Â but if you dont' give a fuck about valid run do whatever you want. But people will stop grouping with you if you dont' follow the current rule set ya know. also at 60 you can run dungeons as many times as you want its only 1 dungeon while leveling.i personally don't find 1 dungeon while leveling that restrictive.Â
A: then why are you saying they should add pvp at 60. by that logic you should just suck it up.Â
Me: Â because i think it would be fun?Â
A: Like im just asking why its weird i didn't say anything about not playing?Â
Me: official servers aren't gonna be able to enforce half the ruleset that is currently set in place.Â
A: im not talking about not existant offical rules thoÂ
Me: Â I mean if you want to spam dungeons. Thats fine. I don't personally care what people do. But under the current addon. It invalidates other people's runs. A: lmao i didn't say thatÂ
Me: then what are you saying cause clearly im not following youÂ
A: i said the rules are weird and arbitrary but since you can't like read what im saying and you're getting super defensive forget the group. i dont care that its weird and arbitrary i just said it is weird and arbitrary. liek thats all i said.Â
Me: the rules are weird and arbirtary agreed. some i don't agree with but thems the breaks -shrug-Â
A:-eyerolls-Â
 Me:  like they tweaked the rules after people that are like mods in the community already did it. Like getting the AV quest weapon and then after He did that he banned other people doing it.Â
 I assume he left my stream after the eyeroll emoji...
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minecraft camilo x yn?? Like ur playing w cami and the rest of the madrigal grandkids until he accidentally confesses to u âNO IM NOT GOING TO MARRY A FLOWER BC I LIKE YNâ (idk what that means but i think its funny anyways-)
Pixelated Flower â camilo m.
pairing: camilo madrigal x gn reader genre: fluff drabble tags: 1.1kwc, requested, scheduled, modern au
summary: camilo unknowingly and indirectly confesses to you during an online game
Numerous pings can be heard from your computer making you turn to your desk in irritation. You were cozy and cuddled up in your comforters which all the more brings you laziness and tiredness. You simply ignored the notifications as you continued scrolling through your phone while lying in bed. However midway through a TikTok video, your screen fades and blaringly plays a familiar ringtone. Someone was calling you and you smiled when you saw who it was. Your best friend (and also the one you slightly have a big crush on), the one and only Camilo Madrigal.Â
"What do you want, Camilo?" You said as you brought your phone to your ear.
"I've been giving you pings on Discord! I thought you said you wanted to play Minecraft with us on the server!" Camilo's whiny voice made you burst out in laughter.Â
"Okay fine, give me a few minutes" You giggled and hung up the phone. It took you minutes to shuffle under your bedsheets before you stood up to finally go to your desk. The moment you took a seat, you turned on your phone and checked on your Discord notifications. Boy, Camilo really did mention you too much. It made you laugh until the light from your computer took your attention, ready for you to set up your game. While you're at it, you opened the server and saw that there was a voice chat that included Camilo, Carlos, Isabela and Mirabel. You got the urge of excitement as you wore your headphones and opened Minecraft.Â
You regretted it.
The moment you joined the call, a bunch of screams welcomed you and took you aback. You jolted in your seat at the ear-piercing yells that might have broken your eardrums. In a hurry you adjusted the volume before you joined the server after Minecraft got opened.
"NOT MY DOG! DON'T KILL MY DOG!" Carlos screamed into his mic. You can hear the rapid clicking of his keyboard. Camilo laughed soon after but later screamed, "NO! HOW DID YOU EVEN GET POTIONS?!"
As soon as you joined the server, your name pops out in chat and Camilo instantly stops screaming to coo at you sweetly, "STOP I'M GONNA MURDER YO- Y/N! I farmed diamonds for you!" You could hear Carlos on the other end scoff in annoyance as he approached Camilo's character.Â
You stood there, just watching the two twins do a 1v1 by themselves for no apparent reason. Camilo probably taunted his twin brother first and it escalated from there. You observed them bicker back and forth until they decided to settle on an empty fist-fight through Minecraft. With them armor-less and weapon-less, you decided to step in and bother them with your full diamond armor and Netherite weapons.Â
'Carlos was slain by [username]'
"Yeah! Y/N's here to fight for me!" Camilo cheered. You laughed through the mic and smirked to yourself. "Hold that thought, milo."
'Camilo was slain by [username]'
"Serves you right." Carlos laughed this time. He most likely respawned back at the house so you collected their stuff and placed it in a chest for them to come back to. Camilo was whining and yelling the entire time, feeling betrayed.
"I'm gonna go get flowers for the bee farm" You nonchalantly informed the two and left them. You were in the middle of a flower biome anyway, might as well collect flowers at least. While you were doing your task in peace you could still hear the bickering of the two twins while Isabela and Mirabel oftentimes talk on chat, you assumed they were decorating the community house a few blocks away. Once your inventory was full, you slowly made your way back to the house.
"You still haven't gotten your stuff?" You asked an armor-less character of Camilo, making yours stare at his dead in the eye. His head moved around a few times before he puts out a flower on his hand.Â
"I did, but I was attacked by a phantom. Went back to run and this is the only thing I managed to salvage" You could hear him pout just from the tone of his voice. It made you giggle in laughter. Sooner while you were giving him a few of your stuff, Isabela and Mirabel's characters popped out on your screen as they entered the house as well.Â
"I took your stuff, milo" You heard Mirabel. She walked towards him and started dropping the items for Camilo to collect. While they were at it, you proceeded to your room and started fiddling with your storage, looking for more items to craft. You muted yourself and proceeded to play the game while listening to the rest of the Madrigal grandkids.
"I can't believe you left all your stuff in the open but didn't hesitate to drop that flower of yours" Isabela trail off. Camilo mocked her, still sulking from the sudden death caused by you. "I already named it, I can't lose it"
"Why would you even name a flower?" Mirabel asked with a judging tone. Camilo immediately bickered feeling offended. "Hey! An iron golem dropped it after Carlos murdered it. The least I could do is treat it with love in it's memory!"
"If you love your beloved flower so much than your full enchanted armor then might as well give your loot to me." She bites back, "Or even just marry it at this point because you're still not letting it go from your grasp"
"Look as much as these pixelated flowers are pretty, I don't want to 'marry them'" Camilo muttered, insulted. "Also there is a prettier flower that I can actually see in real life." With that you suddenly forgot what you were doing because you were too invested in their bantering now.
"Its me, I'm the flower" Isabela boasted which led Mirabel to let out sarcastic vomiting noises.
"Ew no," Camilo grimaced, "Y/N is my beloved flower."
You unmuted yourself, and yelled, "WHAT?"Â
"WHAT" Camilo panicked as well, "I thought you left vc!"Â
You laughed nervously and heard Mirabel and Isabela tease their cousin with squeals. "I've been here the entire time, Camilo. I was only muted!"
"Oh, so it was Carlos who left" You can hear Camilo rapidly type on his keyboard, possibly to message his twin about what happened. He took a glance at the server and saw that Carlos really was offline. He internally cursed himself for being an idiot.Â
"So, what was it you said about me being your beloved flower?" You teased a nervous Camilo. You can hear him frantically tapping in his keyboard and a few muttered curses when you hear random objects just fall and scatter around his desk. You and the other girls in the vc kept laughing lightly until you saw that Camilo disconnected from the call and went offline.Â
"He's definitely hiding from you" You heard Isabela say to you. You laughed in response yet again.Â
"I don't have to worry, he can't hide from me much longer." You reassured her, now with a determined and confident voice after knowing that your all-time crush likes you back. Oh, he's definitely not gonna hear the end of it.
taglist: @pochi-moochika, @carlosfruitsnacks, @thegirlwiththebangs, @mirabelleza, @carcat-02, @brushofease, @camilos-luna, @ducky-is-dead-inside, @elegantkidfansoul, @moon-cakiie, @justicehasaproblem, @nerdish-simp, @justzei, @try-cry-why-try, @kuhmeelo, @asockyoulostbeforelaundry, @alexxavicry
masterlist | taglist | gif source
#encanto#camilo madrigal#camilo supremacy#camilo my beloved#camilo x reader#camilo madrigal x reader#camilo fluff#camilo x y/n#mirabel madrigal#isabela madrigal#camilo#disney encanto#camilo encanto#encanto fanfic#cahmi fics
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Realizing now that Iâve been vagueing about some stuff that only one of my followers knows about, and now that I let a bunch of names slip, the catâs out of the bag, so I might as well just let yâall make your own decisions about me.
So, October 21st, 2021
Actually let me back up a bit further
I joined the suntan discord server on September 26, and made some acquaintances, including Ferret, who I wonât tag because sun deserves some peace and quiet away from my bitching
The most important one to this story is Maikoh. If youâre on twitter, you probably know him. He helped me a lot for almost a month
Until October 21
I was having a breakdown cause of a bunch of things that are triggering and I donât wanna have to tag for, so just pretend you understand. Point is, bad time.
I was venting for over an hour, refusing help and just generally being rude in a âI was having a mental breakdownâ way.
Turns out thereâs a rule against excessive venting, so someone (who I havenât mentioned yet, and wonât mention) dmed me telling me to stop, saying I was breaking said rule and stressing everyone out.
Now, being in the state I was in, I decided the best thing to do was delete the entire vent, give a weird goodbye, and leave.
So then I said to Maikoh that Iâd need to vent to him more.
He said no.
I said something I thought would be reassuring, but I guilt tripped him instead.
A few minutes later, I decided to try rejoining the server, with something like âif you donât want me here, please tell meâ
And oh fucking boy did someone ever tell me
Kosmic said to me âOkay im gonna be real brief here quit messaging my friends. stop dming people from the server all together, you're stressing everyone the hell out. my advice to you is to apologize to the people you've been dumping all this shit on (mainlv maikoh.) and leave the server. for good.
you said in your intro that if others dont want you to reenter, tell you so you know. this is me telling you on behalf of everyone
apologize to maikoh and then leave. i swear to god if one of my friends sends me a screenshot of you talking his ear off or guilt tripping him again you will not hear the end of itâ
I removed the concluding line because it was unproductive
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*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server
once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier
also x1000 longer than previous post
"ur satan is gnc af"
"Bestie Iâm already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"
"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"
"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"ohoho sexy"
"I am very proud of myself"
"himbo x edgy fuck"
"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"
"he has teefs"
"SQUASH"
"good for biting đˇ"
"he's a himbo basically"
"BÍĚĚiÍŤĚĚtͧÍÍŻeĚĚĚ"
"bifth"
"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"
"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"
"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"
"crimes"
"tumblr sexyman"
"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"
"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"
"steampunk e-girl"
"steampunk tumblr sexyman"
"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"
"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"
"ARTIST SIGHTED"
"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"
"babby..... would die for him"
"honestly i probably kin him"
"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"
"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"
"Also :00 blonde friend"
"Let us all infodhmo"
"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"
"Nix woukd you like to joon?
"skitters away"
"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"
"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"
"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"
"Awkwardly watches in band kid"
"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"
"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"
"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"
"anyway heres my boi"
"emo"
"haha emo"
"virgil sanders kinnie"
"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"
"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"
"bird man my beloved"
"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"
"Birds!!"
"guiguhuh"
"crabrave"
"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"
"yess name collector gang"
"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"
"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"
"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"
"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"
"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"
"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"
"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"
"mmmmmm magic man :]"
"°0° green man"
"criminal (affectionate)"
"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"
"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"
"i would commit so many crimes for him"
"Very babey"
"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"
"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"
"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)
"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"
"* or extremly chaotic either works"
"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"
"oH--"
"bc my brain has a schedule"
"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"
"hehe yes spooky man"
"my ghost glucose guardian"
"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"
"ghosts r just inherently sexy"
"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"
"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"
"Šâ m p"
"ĹĂŚmp"
"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"
"I'd date a ghost"
"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"
"p e e p e e"
""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"
"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"
"you're all 12 year olds"
"PEENIE"
"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"
"god, what a himbo. i love him"
"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"
"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"
"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"
"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""
"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"
"twink appreciation club"
"give us the twinks"
"my first thought was bottom-"
"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"
"daddy issued"
"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"
"Big boy but"
"anyways janus is swagggg"
"........................."
"gib twink"
"give twink then i will share"
"holds him gentle like hamburger"
"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"
"he is. fragile creachur"
"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"
"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"
"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"
"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"
"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"
"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"
"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."
"note i am a lesbian"
"You may like Schezo wegey"
"why does he have one single expression"
"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"
"magic wand"
"I Want To Hold His Hand"
"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"
"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""
"p e a n u t"
"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"
"grug from the croods is peak male performance"
"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."
"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"
"i like essays"
"central time gang"
"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)
"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"
"points were made"
"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"
"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"
"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"
"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"
"several people are typing"
"do these look edible to you"
"forbidden gummies"
"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"
"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"
"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"
"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"
"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"
"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"
"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."
"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."
"NIIICE"
"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"
"watch your fucking language in front of the president"
"im so sorry lumi"
"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"
"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"
"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"
""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""
"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"
"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."
"me on discord: nick wilde"
"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."
"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"
"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"
"what the fuck"
"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"
"If you adopt me then yes"
"am I qualified for dad jokes???"
"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"
"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""
"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"
"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"
"cat pet"
"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"
"maybe thats me being a coward tho"
"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"
if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content
#tw drugs#tw swearing#tw cannibalism#tw crime#tw food#tw homophobia#shitpost#out of context#out of context quotes#lumi's quotes
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Okay, you know how I said I wanted to watch all these german minecraft series and then watch 3rd Life SMP? Yea, I actually dont have the attention span to watch a bunch of white bread boys fuck around in minecraft with little to no story, regardless of wether theyre american or european so Im just gonna write this post and them start watching 3rd Life SMP so yeah.
First, I kinda want to discuss what Im hoping for on like, a meta-level I guess. The only other minecraft RP Ive watched that seems similar to this is Dream SMP so expect lots of comparisons.
I like to split dsmp into three major parts: no story/non-rp, story/non-rp and story/rp.
The first part was literally just a live streamed vanilla minecraft let's play and it was boring as shit. It felt exactly like watching a bunch of dudes play minecraft and unless they acknowledged the people in their donations (who could uncomfortably pushy and even shippy at times) you did not at all get the impression they were even aware of the stream. And as much as I appreciate some level of authenticity in this type of content, I also expect to be entertained by it and this did not even meet my bare minimum standard of entertainment. Admittedly, my attention span is very low so that definitely has something to do with it, but still. I personally have never felt anything but boredom and occasionally intense discomfort while watching anything from this 'era' of dsmp.
The second part was the start of the first conflict, and thus the start of some semblance of a story. They were kind of 'roleplaying' already (both in the sense that they obviously have their personas for their content and in sense that they didnt actually have grievances with one another and were just playing it up for the sake of entertainment) but it was more on the fly, even less focused and less serious. However, it was already legues more fun to watch.
And then we had the third part, where, starting with Wilbur Soot joining and deciding to larp Hamilton, they started to plan things out more and have more complex and/or dramatic conflicts. Needless to say, this was/is the best part in my opinion and what made me see the appeal of dsmp.
What Im hoping for 3rd Life SMP is, that they skip atleast the first part. From what I can tell, it was created sometime after dsmp has been in that third part for a bit and it is a minecraft rp, so Im assuming the people behind it wanted to do something similar, just with the story aspect there on purpose and from the get-go, if you know what I mean. And by the way, I dont think thats wrong or even "copying" in the slightest. Dsmp very much seems like a case of "they did it first, not best" and if anything, I think it would be a shame if people didn't want to do their own spin on this basic concept.
What Im personally hoping for in terms of the 'style' of roleplay itself, I really hope that they dont seperate it as rigidly into lore and non-lore as they did in dsmp. Ideally, they would do it like Ranboo (Wilbur when he was playing Ghostbur to an extend too, but he didnt actually stream and have his own POV back then), where he's always kinda 'In-Character' even when there isnt really anything happening in the plot at that moment. Again, I just dont have the attention span for no story in series like this anymore, so I'd appreciate it on a personal level, but I also think that it could humanize the characters more and potentially add additional depth to them. Especially since it looks like 3rd Life is made by the Hermitcraft group and if the stuff Ive read about Hermitcraft (especially in comparison to dsmp) it wont thrive off intense conflicts and wars in quite the same way, so that could also be a way of making a calmer rp interesting.
And now, some actual plot predictions!
So, the way I found 3rd Life SMP was this really neat 'Pitiful Children' animatic by ZylisticArt. I didnt actually 'watch' it because when I look up animatics I just kinda stare at the screen, not processing anything because Im too busy imagining my own OC animatic to the song, but I did read the description and was mildly intrigued, and its the main reason I wanted to watch 3rd Life so Im going to properly watch it now and post my predictions for the plot below.
***
The description mentions something about the animatic being based on some kinda theory, but I only skimmed it in order to not get spoiled so idk what thats really about. Im mostly intrigued by the fact that the description mentions it being a hardcore SMP (with a twist!), that, combined with the name and the visuals of the animatkc lead me to a couple conclusions;
I dont really know how Hardcore mode works in multiplayer, but in singleplayer you just get permanently kicked out of your world when you die, so Im assuming it works like that on a server too, except on a server, Im pretty sure you have the option of being 'reinvited' onto a server by the admin(s) so you could theoretically have three lives while keeping it a hardcore project where you cant regenerate without potions or golden apples and all that. Again, idk if thats actually how hardcore works but I sure hope it is, because thats what Im basing pretty much all of my predictions on.
In the animatic there were like green people, yellow people and a red guy who was like, the antagonist I guess. I think the green guys still have all their lives, the yellow ones are down to two and the red lads are all down to their last one. Maybe theres gonna be a thing thats like, if you lose a life you lose a part of your soul and that makes you evil or something? Yknow, like the whole "character comes back wrong" thing, except its the conflict of the entire series. Pitiful Children is very much a 'Manipulating Others Into Doing Harmful Shit' kinda song, and I feel like that would be very in-line with a plotline like that, yknow?
Im not expecting there to be wars/conflicts on the scale of dsmp (no blown up countries here bois) but I am expecting to get ridiculously attached to a place that inevitably gets blown up/set on fire by an antagonist.
Speaking of antagonists, theyre definitely also doing the whole multiple POV thing, which means everyone is an antagonist in one way or another and Im a solutely watching every POV from every characters so that I know the full context and story of everything, so I can have the most correct opinions on them, which is both normal to want and possible to achieve.
Since these are the Hermitcraft guys Im expecting some beautiful builds that make me feel insanely untalented and the same thing with redstone shit.
Ghosts. If they havent added some kind of ghost mechanic/lore at the time Im writing this, they will add one in later, mark my words 3rd Life fandom, mark my words...
Thats pretty much it. This is all going under my mcyt tag too, and I dont think I'll be live blogging it, but it really depends on how interesting it is.
Also, if youre a 3rd Life fan who already watched all of it, the only thing youre allowed to respond to this with is a meme that is horribly incomprehensible to anyone who hasnt watched it.
Have a nice day!
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â
A Love Letter I Have to My Lovely and Beloved Friendsâ
(I just know that 30 july was a national friendship day and today is like 31 july already at where I am but,,, just pretend that this is also for National Friendship Day đ¤ĄđŤ)
As you all know, it's been confirmed that I'll be going on a hiatus two days from now that I really don't know how long it will go on. So, with that in mind, I wished to leave this message to all the wonderful friends I've made while I was active here on Tumblr during quarantine.
I've started this writing blog a few months ago, to be precise, on May where life in quarantine was starting to become a norm. In the few months until now, I did my best to start writing and drawing more using all the free times that I have.
I wouldn't have expected this blog to grow so much in such a short time. To me, it was really mind blowing, seeing that there's a lot of other great content creators here on Tumblr. Yet, the 300+ people who stumbled upon my blog still decided to follow me.
I was really happy to have made many contents that I'm actually proud of posting. And I still can't believe there are people out there who love them. Seeing every one of your comments and reblogs and likes really, really, squeezed my heart and I couldn't be more thankful for your support.
And during these fun times, I was able to make friends with many amazing, talented, fantastic and all the good words I could find in the dictionary people on here. You all are a real gift to me and I hold you guys close to my heart.
I still can't believe I was able to befriend you guys though, like, y'all are so amazing and I was just here like squeaking my name to you like a shy mice lmao. =///= Anyways, thank you for all the good and fun times. Thank you for being with me and helping me with lots of things. Just, thank you for everything. (I'm writing this at 1am like it's sad hours yall I'm crying :')))
If you are ever feeling down, do not ever forget that, even if it's only me, I'll support you to the end of the world because you're just so amazing and fantastic. I love you and never let any hate that's thrown at you let you down because they aren't worth your time.
The people I'll be mentioning below are my dear friends or just people that I have been interacting with during the times I was online, little or not, I still consider you guys to be my friends (very self-proclaimed here sorry)and I'm still honoured by that fact.
@your-local-bnha-writer -Bean, you and your posts are always so wholesome and cute and I love them. Keep being amazing, and we may not interact much, but I still appreciate every little convos we had. Also, wish you luck on tpn, that shit hurted :')
@identifybby -Liaaaa, omg im so v v grateful we became friends. You've helped me with a tons of things and I can't thank you enough for everything you've done to me. You're just so amazing and thank you for always putting up with me, i love you sm.
@minteasketches -Mintea! You're such an amazing artist and I rlly enjoyed our conversations! You might not see this since you're off socmed but just wanna let u know that thank u for being my friends.
@yandere-of-your-dreams -Heyyy sis,, you're always such a sweet bean to me and showering me w love and i appreciate them, stay amazing and I'm sure you'll become an amazing writer.
@shotobabe -Ren, wifey, ilysm thank u for always being with me. You're such an awesome person and keep on being yourself. You're perfect and talented, don't let others tell you otherwise. AND while I'm gone, don't forget to drink lots of water okay? I won't be able to remind you while I'm on a hiatus, but please always remember to drink water. That'd be the first thing I'll ask you once I'm able to be online. And please try to eat more okay bb? I love u.
@takumipineapplexd -Taku! Amazing writer and amazing editor, yes I'm talking about you. You're amazing and keep on making cursed content and being crackhead, i love them.
@bnhabadass -We might not talk much, but I just want to let you know that you're so amazing and I look up to u v much. Literally had a heart attack when u commented on angel wings lmao.
@tomomoni -Mon, love, soft bean, I LOVE U. You've always been so wholesome and cute to every one of your followers and seeing ur interactions literally heals my heart. Your art is amazing so continue being amazing ilysm thank u for being an amazing advisor and listener, I'm v grateful for that. You have no idea how blessed I am to have you as a friend. Meeting you through turn on your airdrop's fanart was F A T E.
@kamabukokompachiro -First time u asked my permission to read my fanfic, I legit teared up. Thank u sm for asking, I couldn't be happier to know that my fic is worthy to be read over for a yt channel. Keep on being amazing and ily.
@kaminii -Kamiiiii, sweet child, you're always so matured and calm and I really adore and respect that part of you (unlike me im v childish and rash) You're an amazing writer and editor and ur aesthetic? 100/10. Love it. You're so talented despite being so young and I'm just, WOW. Ily and thank u for being friends w me. And please fix your sleeping schedule bb. It's rlly not good for your health, like please? Ily.
@katsucutie -I love you and your writing so v much, and I rlly enjoyed talking to you, discussing about Burn Book was rlly fun. I might not be able to know the ending since im gonna go on a hiatus but I'll be sure to catch up to it once im back. Keep being amazing and awesome.
@isolshi -CHERIE, I LOVE YOU AND YOU'RE AMAZING. Don't be so insecure about your writing. They're amazing. And you're also one of the sweetest and cute person I've met here. I always love teasing you cause your reaction is always so funny and cute. Keep being awesome. And please, please, please get enough sleep and drink LOTS of water. I legit would cry if you don't drink more water cher.
@mirakeul -BIANCAAAAA LOVE YOU'RE SO AMAZING AND SWEET LiKE--- please, I love talking to you and thank you so much for always reminding me to eat. Your calligraphy and handwriting are awesome, shshh i don't take criticism. Never stop writing, I love them. And please never forget I love you and you're my best friend okay?
@roxybefab -You've always been the first to ask me to be on my taglist and I'm so v happy because of that. Thank you for everything, and keep on being awesome. You can do this, ily.
@princessofdawn718 -Talking to you about Hamefura has been so fun! I haven't talked w many ppl about isekai so im rlly glad I could talk about them w you. Katarina x nicol ftw! Thanks for talking to me, it was such a pleasure rlly.
@softkodzuken -Maam your writing is A M A Z I N G. I love anon sm and you're rlly so sweet for always replying to every single comment on them. Don't be so insecure about them, they're amazing and i will always stand by that point. Wishing you the best of luck for Undercover!
@lolitsleia -Your art is *chef's kiss* i love them so much, I still can't believe you hadn't had more recognition like why?? Ur oc alex is the cutest thing ever and i love her. Thank you again for drawing Yuki. She looked really beautiful and cute in your drawing.
@samanthaa-leanne -We may not talk much, but when you first followed me back, my heart goes B O O M. You're so amazing and keep being like that. And uh,, good luck with Violet Evergarden if you ever plan to watch it. Prepare a couple of tissue boxes....or dozens.
@miyumtwins -Fellow android users! I first saw you through Bean's post about a tag game and i was like *gasp* another androiders..! I swear that one time i was interacting w you, I didn't actually meant to go off anon,, yes im dumb lmao. Anyways, you're rlly amazing and I'm rlly honoured to be followed by you.
@kawasuno -Your smau? 100/10. Your sense of humour 100/10. They're just so perfect *chef's kiss* I love every one of your updates and they always managed to put a smile on my face, i was like, how did you do that? My sense of humour is nonexistant, teach me your ways sensei. But anyways, you're rlly amazing and awesome. Keep up w that.
@kukusbabe -Tsu, I've never said this, but it's you. It's always been you all along. What i mean is, I've followed you first (i knew u through zara's flopping server yeah!) And when i looked at my dash and saw all your interactions w your moots, despite me haven't legally started haikyuu yet, i decided to follow all of them, soooo if it's not for you, we may not have met each other. Everyone in the kita family, Tsu is the MVP here muah. Also your aesthethic and writing and everything is so kajsjhendnd amazing i LOvE---
@iwaixiumi -King Nami, you're so awesome and amazing,, and I'm really glad to be able to interact w you. All those songs you recommend? Yeah, I'm going to listen and love all of them, thank u so much for the recs. Keep being amazing and to everyone reading this, PLEASE INTERACT WITH KING NAMI MORE SHE DOESN'T BITE---
@shoutodoki -Hello, you're so amazing and talented and im just,,, kekkdjfjdj when you followed me--- and when u figured out i was the anon talking about oboro i was OAKSJEJDDJ please, i was so honoured u know, like ???? Anyways, keep on writing what you love and your art maam? THEY'RE AMAZING LIKE BOTH YOUR ART AND WRITING IS SO KAJSJDJDN pliS im so v honoured to be able to talk to you.
@lisarillia -Please excuse me while I go shout in the corner of how much i LOVE your arts. They're amazing and being able to talk to you was a real pleasure. Keep on doing what you love. They'll be amazing no matter what i swear.
@cutiedrawsbnha -Cutie, honey, you're amazing and your art is so cute! Don't let what haters said get to you. You're going to grow into an amazing artist. If you give in and listen to what they said, you're going to end up like what they said so ignore them honey! I believe in you so keep shipping izuocha, todomomo, and kamijirou and making arts. Lotsa love!
@lilikags -Heeyyyy you sweet cute innocent bean! Don't ever stop writing what you love, you'll grow into a big blog soon enough, before you know it. Just keep making what you love, and as time pass by, I'm sure there will be many people who will find appreciate everything you do. I'm always supporting you.
@baeshijima -SOPHHHHH YOU SWEET CUTE CINNAMON ROLL WAKATOSHI'S WIFE EYE--- You have NO idea how much i love you,, you're so sweet and I honestly don't know what did i do to deserve you. Srsly you're a blessing to me. Thank you for the sweet daily reminder in my inbox, i love each and every one of them. Keep being so cute and wholesome, love you.
@shinsuque -ANAAAAA Thanks again for the Bakugou's memes! I may not be able to do it before i go on a hiatus though *sobbing* Keep being so awesome! I love seeing all your interactions and you're so amazing i honestly don't know why you followed me----
@semiluvr -LYDIA *SOBBING* THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR INVITING ME TO THE KITA FAMILY. Even though we've known each other in less than a week, it already felt like I had known you guys for so long like whotttt. Keep being an amazing and sweet person ily muah
@dumbass-lev -MOMMY, MUI, ILY THANK U FOR ALWAYS BEING SO SWEET YOU'RE AMAZING,,, u have no idea how happy (and also flustered) I am when i saw you asking you want to adopt me like,,, whot I've never been asked to be adopted online b4 so you asking that was a big surprise to me and just,,, remember that i love you and you're an amazing mommy. Hope i wasn't too much too handle as your child lol and thank u, for asking to invite me to the server. It has been a real pleasure to me to be there.
@pudding-head-kenma -DANIE!! We haven't talked much and I've only known you for a short time but I really love your detailed analysis. They're amazing and you're amazing. Thank you for being so sweet and cute. Ily.
@/đŚ nonoi -đŚ NONOIIII!!! IF YOU'RE SEEING THIS, I JUST WANNA TELL YOU THANK YOU FOR BEING MY EMOJI ANON! I love you you're so sweet and bb please please please don't forget me id cry,,,
@astereim -Rein!!! I know we just talked and all but you seem to be a reaally cool and amazing person,, we might not be able to interact much since I need to go prepare things b4 i go on my hiatus though, but just wanna let u know that ily!
@tokoyamis-luv -please don't come for my neck i haven't been active on the server Lol but anyways, zara, you're amazing and your simping for Kurapika is always fun to watxh. Also all the lin manuel edits are *chef's kiss* we may not talk much but i was rlly honoured to be able to interact w you, even a little bit.
@engel-hageshii - YOU, MAAM are a literal angel, and your comments on my fics always managed to make me smile so much. I love you, please never stop being such a sweetheart.
@laylahoran -I've always loved and appreciate every comments you make. I'm v happy I was able to create a content that you can love. You and engel has been some of my firsts followers and I'm really blessed to have you two.
@oyasenpai -Diemmy! You're so sweet and cute and seeing your interaction w my moots (kami) was what made me follow you. Don't let what others said bring you down, okay? Just do what you want because there're always many people supporting you for it.
Special message to the kita family server;
Meanwhile while you guys were talking about me there, I was just innocently scrolling through Tumblr, not knowing what kind of fate I'll be receiving đđđ No wonder I was sneezing so much đ¤§đ¤§đ¤§
So, I was just scrolling through the pinned messages and I saw tsu said "mui: can we invite hikari? Everyone here: kakskejdjdjdn" and i was just like,,, ??????? I wasn't expecting u guys to have that kind of reaction i--- yall have no idea how much i was grinning while I scroll through those messages. Thank you so much for inviting and accepting me, it's really fun to be with you guys and your crackhead energy đĽ°đĽ° Thank you to mui for suggesting you had no idea I was really really happy. đ Y'all are so amazing and sweet and cute and beautiful kakjdjdd
To all of my dear friends that I've mentioned above, I LOVE YOU LOTS YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GRATEFUL I AM TO MET YOU GUYS. Quarantine time has been stressful for a lot of people, and Tumblr can sometimes (a lot of times) be kinda whack but I was really happy to met you guys during my time here. Our time together may have been short, but i feel like we've known each other for more than a year, no caps. I love you all very very much. Thank you for talking to me and befriending me. Remember to get enough sleep, drink lots of water, stay safe and healthy, eat enough meals and, take care of yourself. I love you guys.
And lastly, to everyone reading this, whether i know you or not, or interacted with you or not, or follow you or not, or you follow me or not, just REMEMBER that you are worth it and I love you. Keep on being awesome, and always remember to smile, laugh and live. Don't forget to always DRINK LOTS OF WATER, GET ENOUGH SLEEP, and EAT ENOUGH MEALS.
Signing off,
Hikari.
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Kill Your Darlings â Ch. 1 (Jaskier x Assassin!Reader) || Witcher
A/N: So this is the start to my first ever series (yeah im not nervous posting this at all). Iâll be posting one chapter each Friday! This is more of a prologue, but definitely worth the read for the background! Overall, I have to warn you, this story is a very slow burn. I havenât finished writing it yet, but I know some ~things~ take a while to happen, so stick around!
Anyway, your comments and feedback are more than appreciated, so donât be afraid to leave me some messages :)
Also, if youâre @ on the taglist is italicized, it means it wouldnât let me tag you, so you might have to change your settings :)
Summary: Y/N, a skilled assassin, gets their newly assigned target.
Warnings: language, mentions of death/killing/murder, mentions of abuse and r*pe, alcohol consumption
Words: 1,996
Support me?
Please Donât Plagiarize My Work!
Taverns were one of your least favorite places to meet. The stench of the unfortunate manâs breath wafted through the air, on top of the lingering odor of cheap alcohol. Men staggered around with their mouths wide open, yelling obscenities â women pulled down their dresses just enough to gain attention, glaring at anyone who passed. Everyone was way too loud, as if the sound of their slurred words were more valued over anyone elseâs.
Your hood hung low over your head, just high enough to leave space for you to see. Your eyes immediately scanned the tavern â it was smaller than the usual ones you met at, but just as packed. The stuffiness of the room practically smacked you in the face as soon as you walked in, almost making you scrunch your nose. The smell was way worse than you remembered.
You kept your face stiff as your eyes stopped at a table near the back. Without a second thought, you made your way past the piles of people and towards the familiar head of hair you would recognize in a mass of a hundred people.
âI see you still have an impeccable taste for meeting places.â Your voice caused him to look up just as you sat across from him, removing the hood that covered most of your face.
âYou know I do.â Rauf smiled proudly despite your obvious sarcasm. He gestured to the full cup of ale that was already in front of you. âA drink?â
You shook your head, âNot tonight.â
âCome on, Y/N. Itâs just like old times.â Rauf was right. The length of the walls, wood of the tables, even the stench of the ale in your cup. It reminded you of the many nights you and Rauf would retreat to the taverns after training. A hard dayâs work requires a hard dayâs ale. It was what he said when he treated you to your first, and definitely not last, drink. You were pretty sure he just wanted an excuse to get drunk â which, you wouldnât blame him for. Your line of work was never easy, not even for a veteran like him.
You picked up the drink with a sigh. âWhatâs the occasion?â
âCanât I just want to have a drink with my favorite niece?â
âOnly niece. And not by blood.â You reminded him every time, but it didnât stop him from saying it.
Rauf was a family friend, always had been. You called him uncle, even when you were old enough to understand he had no relation to your familyâs bloodline. Growing up, he was a common visitor at your parentsâ home, frequently coming for a chat over some dinner. He would ruffle your hair on his way out, send you a wink every time. You always loved his visits, because it was the only time your parents stopped fighting; in those times, you felt like you had a normal, happy, family. Now, Rauf was the only one of your family that you had left.
You shook the memory from your mind and put the cup down. âYou have a new target?â
Rauf was busy watching a woman drunkenly dance to the poor excuse of music, but he responded nonetheless. âWhen do I not?â He turned back to his own cup and chugged it down. After he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, he looked at you. âPeople are shitty, Y/N, always have been.â
âMy point exactly.â You tapped the table beneath you, trying to keep your patience. Sometimes, it was hard for you to imagine Rauf running an assassinâs guild. He was responsible, sure, but in front of you, he acted like any other man in the tavern. In this case, that meant being almost unable to tear his eyes from beautiful women. There was always a charm about him, though, like the charisma of a well-respected bard â without the annoying craving for attention. He was messy looking, but in a good way, and his smile was infectious. At a single glance, you wouldnât think he has killed people.
You took another sip of your ale, though it didnât taste like much of anything.
Rauf turned his gaze back to you, a playful smile on his lips. âMaybe you should learn to dance. Perform, act. You used to always put on plays for me as a youngster.â
âIâm acting right now.â You faked a smile when he quirked his brow. âLike I donât want to kill you.â
Rauf leaned back, his smile growing wider. âWe both know you donât kill innocent men.â
âYou call yourself innocent?â
âPoint taken.â Â He signaled the server to bring another round, eyes almost immediately trailing back to the dancing woman.
It was your job to assassinate those deserving, but you really felt like bending the rules right now. Rauf could be distracted, but tonight he was especially so. You clenched your jaw, urging your own patience to hold out a little longer.
It was understandable why Rauf would want some time off from talking about the job. As Rauf mentioned the last time you spoke, business was, to put it lightly, booming. He had been giving out more assignments than usual â our work finally paid off, he told you. It was quite exciting, to be honest. After years of working alongside Rauf and his trusted team, you all hoped the guild would reach a wider range of people in need.Â
After all, your guild was different than most; rather than be paid to kill anyone, Rauf made sure there was an unjust act committed by the targeted party. Abuse, rape, murder, any of the likes. You were vigilantes, in a way â though even the most well-known assassins of your guild wouldnât call themselves that. You all knew you were killing â it just helped you sleep at night to know the ones who were being killed werenâtâŚundeserving of the death.
The rise in work was great, but also taxing on Rauf. Even just looking at him now, you could see the weight he was holding on his back. His eyes were more tired, overworked. Of course, he would never admit to it, and neither would you. Complaining leads to laziness. It was one of his many scoldings throughout your training.Â
So, Rauf needing a break from his work made sense. It just made you antsy knowing there were more people out there committing heinous acts â more people you needed to terminate.
The server returned with two new cups of alcohol. As Rauf continued to watch the woman dance her troubles away, you tapped your finger on the table, shifted in your seat, fought yourself from rolling your eyes, and finally cleared your throat. You spent enough time waiting around. âRauf.â
âHm?â He only slightly turned to you.
You let out a frustrated sigh before answering, âThe target.â
âYeah, yeah.â Finally, his attention was brought back to the task at hand. You straightened your back, readying yourself for your next assignment.
Raufâs eyes searched your own. Finally, he spoke.âHeâs a loud mouthââ
You rolled your eyes. âMy favorite.â
âI wasnât finished.â He took a big gulp from his cup and set it back on the table. âA bard.â
âEven better.â You followed his actions and chugged the rest of your drink, putting it back without so much of a blink. âWhatâd he do?â
Raufâs mouth twitched. The sarcasm was spilling from his expression before he even spoke. âYouâre gonna love this.â
âI bet.â You had to hold yourself back from leaning forward in anticipation.
Rauf pursed his lips. Then, he let out a quick breath. âRaped. A bunch of women.â
You quirked a brow. âA bunch?â
âTwelve. So far.â
You shook your head. âNot âso farâ. Just twelve. There wonât be anymore.â
âNot after youâre done with him.â
âDamn right.â You settled back in your seat, anger already filling your veins. If not for your years of training with Rauf, the anger you felt would overwhelm you, cause you to be irrational and slam your fist into whoeverâs face was closest. But now, you learned to contain that anger and use it on your targets. And boy, did you use it.
A thought entered your mind, but you bit your tongue for a few seconds. As Rauf lifted his cup once more, you tried to sound casual. âWho put down the money?â
He rolled his eyes. âYou know thatâs anonymous.â
âOf course,â You shrugged. âBut if it was one of the victims, I hope you gave them a reasonable price.â
Rauf studied you for a moment. âIt wasnât a victim. It was a⌠family friend of the victim.â  You narrowed your eyes at him until he groaned. âYes, I gave them a discount.â
âGood.â You leaned back with satisfaction. Now that that was out of the way, you needed to figure out the details of the target. âThis target got a name?â
Rauf tapped the edge of his cup with a finger. âJulian Alfred Pankratz. Goes by Jaskier. Not quite famous, but well-known enough.â
Your eyes glazed over with near boredom. âI havenât heard of him.â
âYou havenât heard of anyone. Well, I suppose thatâs partially my fault.â
You ignored his comment. He often tried to guilt himself for not teaching you more about things other than training, fighting, killing. No matter how many times you told him you didnât mind, he brought it up anyway. Besides, you didnât think you wanted to know of this bard, especially after what heâs done.
âWhere is the target located?â
âHe was in Oxenfurt two weeks ago, at the time of the most recentâŚincident. Payer said heâs now in Novigrad.â
âNot far.â
A comfortable silence fell between you two, allowing the noise of the tavern to fill in the gap. You noticed Rauf eye the same woman who had been dancing practically all night. This time, you allowed your eyes to make their way to her as well. She was so carefree, seemingly impossible to tire. There was so much life in her, but you wondered what she went home to. An empty house or a full one? An abusive husband or a loving partner? A loved child or one she wished she never had? These people, they each had their own lives that lead to either pain, anger, or devastation. Each and every person would have their own life, their own struggles, their own sins. Some of them wouldnât even realize it, or care.
You shifted your attention back to the nearly full cup in front of you. You picked it up and swirled the liquid around before bringing it to your lips. Before every assignment, you felt the same nerves as you did now. It was a mix of eagerness and hesitation. In this case, you wanted to get the son of a bitch bard, no matter what it took. But an assassination in a city like Novigrad, for a somewhat popular bard? It would be tough, that was for sure.
Rauf must have noticed your clouded eyes, as he nodded his head towards you. âYou think you can handle this?â
Despite the underlying nerves, your lips curved upward and you quirked a challenging brow towards him. Within a second Rauf nodded with a similar smile, silently understanding the uselessness of his question. Of course you could handle it. It would be tough, yeah, but the job was always tough. You were trained by the best, after all.
Rauf lifted his cup and spoke with the rim to his lips, âMeet me at the Novigrad guild when youâre done. You have the usual time to finish it.â
You took one last sip of your drink, then stood from the chair as you lifted your hood over your head, âSee you soon, Uncle Rauf.â
After a single nod from him, you left the tavern and descended into the darkness, ready to eliminate your next target.
âââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Tags: @alienemilyyyyâ @treehousemagicblogâ @jedivioletâ @roaringliona18â @saint-hardyâ @milkiereiâ @curse-brekkerâ @beneathstarryskiesâ @itsametaphorbriansblogâ @scream-kiwi79â @starfox-92Â @sophiasescapeâ @aspenholland
(if you want to be added/removed to/from the taglist, donât be afraid to send me a message or sign up via the taglist link in my description)
#the witcher imagine#jaskier x reader#jaskier imagine#jaskier#jaskier series#the witcher series#the witcher#reader insert#reader imagine#kyd#kill your darlings series#writing#my writing#fic#the witcher fic#joey batey
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Do you still have a Discord server?
i mean. a j0succ server still exists. iâm not in it. iâm gonna put this under a cut bc itâs complainy and sucky and drama-filled but tl:dr; a small group of people ruined having a discord server for me and i canât handle responsibility or drama so i donât think there will be one again, but if u wanna be pals feel free to ask for my discord handle
iâm super grateful to everyone i met on discord!!! itâs how i met lots of my friends and people i really love and care about!!! but running a discord server is . . . stressful. i hated warning people and banning people and stuff. but most of all i hated the absolute bullshit that came through once it became clear a lot of people on the discord were . . . not really aware of what the discord was for?
anyway. it turned out there were a group of people there who were REALLY against aging up characters. someone mentioned josuke in an honestly super innocent way (i think they said âaraki, why did you make josuke so lovableâ) and the other group of people kind of dogpiled them about how they were eighteen and therefore thinking josuke was lovable was a TERRIBLE AWFUL DISGUSTING thing.Â
i felt i had a kind of stake in this bc obviously not only did i write for minors in canon at that point, but i also wrote nsfw of aged up minors. as everyone who had come to the discord - or so i thought - had come to it through the blog and we had clear rules of âno nsfw with characters depicted as minors, but aged up content where theyâre obviously depicted as adults is fineâ.Â
anyway. it caused a really fucking huge drama in the discord. these people left, obviously, but they took a lot of people with them who went briefly over to their âââsideâââ (one of those people has since had a callout post written about them because of them still liking and reblogging content from âQuestionable Peopleâ and has been ostracised from that community, for the record). it was just way too much drama for me. i donât believe in anti communities or anti anti communities tbh, but mainly iâm not interested in Fandom Discourses.Â
(it was brought up that theyâd come to my discord from somewhere, btw, and they said âoh i found it in the jojo tag i didnt realise it was full of FREAKSâ which is also bullshit bc i didnât tag my discord promo posts because like . . . i wanted it to be a friendly community of people who specifically liked reader-insert stuff. i know for a fact this group of people also reported my blog for harm to minors over and over again and one of them made a promo post for a new blog like âiâm [name] and a good portion of the jojo community hates me because i got a big name pedophile blog shut down (: )
anyway. if u read that thanks. basically what im saying is discord is more trouble than its worth. if you wanna be Pals with me tho feel free to message and ask for my discord tho!!!! or if you have server that is Nice and Friendly i miss being in a jojo discord i just cant handle responsibility fngbkjgnjkb and iâm too scared to join most in case theyre full of ppl who actually hate me).Â
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the reylo batb au debacle
long post ahead. tw: racism
i. preface
i dont make call out posts. i think a lot of people abuse call outs, like that one reylo who made a post about me that just consisted of screenshots of me venting on my own blog in the proper tags. i dont know if i would call this a call out, per se. most people (antis, reylos, and bystanders) probably already know the gist of this situation. my reason for making this post is primarily because the original post of mine has gotten rather long with me reblogging it and adding on (you can see the most recent version here) and i would like to have more of a masterpost of sorts, since im a petty bitch who canât let things go.Â
ii. the story
i was alerted by an anon to a fic, which is an a/b/o beauty and the beast retelling with rey as belle and kylo as the beast. in gastonâs place is finn. i havenât read the fic word for word nor do i want to, but i searched finnâs name in the fic and this is what came up.
(note: most of these screenshots are from my original post, but iâve added on with chapters that have been published since then)
âMyself if necessary; somewhere out there is my mate, and I will wait for them.â She said resolutely, holding her breath against the smell of pine and charcoal rolling off him. She had never found Finnâs scent a pleasant one.
âI believe Rey is missing,â Finn said with a scowl. âand I donât like it when my things go missing.â
âRey has never been yours.â Obi snapped. âSheâs not a piece of property.â
âDetails.â Finn smirked. âNow, are you going to tell me where sheâs really run off to? Or are you holding fast to your ridiculous story of monsters and secret castles?â
Obi narrowed his eyes, refusing to entertain the brute anymore than he had to. âI think itâs time you were on your way, Finn. Please feel free to head in the opposite direction should you feel the urge to call upon me again.â
Finn shook his head, rolling his eyes heavily. âIâll be back, Obi. I will find out where Rey is hiding.â
Obi shut the door in his face quickly, eager to be rid of the boorish oaf. He leaned against the wood, pinching the bridge of his nose and rubbing gently to ease his frustration. He should have been more open to Finnâs help, he could take all of it that he could get. Still, seeking aid in Finn felt like escaping the hounds to land in the fire. Hardly an improvement. Â
âSheâs the only one whoâs rejected me. Me. The nerve of her. No. This wonât stand. Iâll track her down if itâs the last thing I do.â Finn snarled.
Finn took a long swig from his freshly filled tankard the server had just finished capping off, a small smile playing at his mouth as his plan gained more and more merit in his mind. Rey would not allude him for much longer. He would find her, and show her exactly who she belonged to.
Charles frowned. âI donât want Finn anywhere near Rey. I donât trust him. Heâd sooner force her into mating with him as rescue her.â
They crept deeper into the forest, making sure to maintain vigilance as they scanned the forest for anything strange. Finn wondered idly how Rey would have even made it through this woods, a mere woman. When he brought her back home, he would be sure to have a talk with her about what is and isnât acceptable.
She scrambled backwards then, her back meeting Artooâs haunches as he pranced away. She felt distress coursing through her, wanting no part of Finn or his strange obsession with her. âYouâll not touch me.â
âShh.â He whispered. âYouâre only confused. All will be well.â
âLeave, Finn. Go back to Jakku. No one wants you here, least of all me.â She spat.
He growled low, yanking her up by her hair. âYouâll learn your place, Rey. Once I bring you back to Jakku. First though, I will take care of the bastard who dared to touch what was mine.â
âI. Am. Not. Yours.â She ground out, her scalp smarting from the grip he still kept on her hair.
âYou will be.â He assured darkly.
He didnât realize he had lost until it was too late. He glanced down, the iron bolt plunged deep into his chest. For a moment he merely stared at it, his breath coming out in heavy pants as he tried to process what he was seeing. A gurgle sounded in his chest, coughing up a spray of blood. His mouth fell open in disbelief, taking a step backwards as his hand went to the bolt.
He gripped it in his fist, tugging it outwards and throwing it to the ground. His hands pawed at the hole in his chest, blood pouring over his fingers as he swayed slightly. His knees trembled, falling to be ground and kneeling. He gave a final shuddering breath, falling forward in a slump and going still. Rey dropped the bow as if it burned her, leaning her back against the tree sheâd used to steady herself and gasping for breath. She felt relief and remorse in that moment, the knowledge that sheâd taken a life outweighed only by the knowledge that sheâd saved one.
(context: the above is rey murdering finn to save kylo)
as you can see, finn, star warsâ first ever black lead, is portrayed as a violent, aggressive, rapey misogynist who threatens rey psychically and sexually. he believes rey, a white woman, is his property and rey must kill him to save her lover, a white man. i mean, this whole thing should be very obvious. i dont care that its fiction, i dont care that its fanfiction. fiction does not exist in a vacuum and if you believe so, biases like this WILL go unchecked.Â
i was infuriated after reading this and found a note where the author addresses previous accusations of racism
I was more or less labeled as a racist today for my characterization of Finn, and I felt the need to briefly address that. It was never my intention to lead anyone to believe that my dislike of Finn has anything to do with his race. I dislike his character canonically purely for reasons that have nothing to do with the color of his skin. I obviously realize heâs not a villain, and that heâs out of character. I will not apologize for the way that Iâve written him, as I know in my heart I meant no malicious intent, but I will apologize to anyone who has thought even in the slightest that I was being oppressive or insensitive. I know myself and thatâs not who I am, and that was never my intention. I want to go ahead and post this because I donât know when my next will be and I wanted to leave it on a good note. I donât foresee a long gap, donât worry, but at this moment I donât feel good about the story and I need a few days to reassess where it is going.
iii. the comments
while i easily couldâve just moved on since there are a number of reylo fics out there much like this one, knowing that this one had such popularity and such a tone deaf author, i decided to venture into the comments and lo and behold, the amount of hate for finn was blinding.Â
there are plenty more, but i hope this can give you a taste of what the comments section looks like.Â
the authorâs hate for finn basically boils down to this: heâs indecisive and he lied to rey. thatâs it. thatâs what the author uses to justify writing finn in a vicious, anti-black stereotype.Â
at some point, an anonymous commenter called out the racism.
a concerned citizen: So are you ever gonna address how racist your characterization of Finn is or what.
ktf: Oh lord. No because itâs blatantly not true. He is characterized heavily in concordance with the classic Gaston character. Possessive, arrogant, pig headed⌠Your complaint is reaching and you can take it elsewhere. Jeez Louise. So silly. Have you even seen Beauty and the Beast? I donât like Finn as a a character in canon for reasons that have nothing to do with his race (because I admittedly love John Boyega irl as well as in Pacific Rim, the only other film Iâve seen him in) and as such I characterize him as an asshole for my own self satisfaction.
a concerned citizen: Look I love Reylo as much as the next guy but if you need explaining why itâs racist to make the black character who is, in canon, nothing but a kind and supportive friend, into a sexually aggressive misogynist then I donât know what to tell you. It costs zero dollars not to demonize black characters for your own âself satisfaction.â
ktf: So, to be clear, if I had used ANY other character from the film who had been kind and supportive, Poe, Han, Holdo, Leia, Snap, Kaydel, Luke⌠as long as they hadnât been a POC it would totally fine? Do you see my confusion? Itâs an alternate universe.
a concerned citizen: A: Demonizing black men as sexual aggressors bent on possessing/raping white women is a long-standing trope used by white supremacists. Itâs done to dehumanize black men and drum up fear in white folk so that they feel threatened enough to commit acts of violence. This is one of the most basic tactics of antiblack racism.
B: Gaston was never a part of the original fairy tale. He was made up for the Disney adaptation to add tension and to counterbalance the Beast to make the message crystal clear for the little ones watchingâ donât fear The Other. Gaston represents the cultural hegemony of masculine behavior in Belleâs culture; the Beast, on the other hand, is The Other, the outsider, the marginalized force. Black people have practically been The Other in Western media for centuries. Now Iâm not telling you that you have to make Finn the Beast or else itâs bunk, just that you have to be aware of the charactersâ roles and what they fulfill in the narrative. Making Finn the Gaston character was a conscious decision you madeâ you took a black character and plopped him into a role that was specifically made to be the representation of toxic masculinity, that decision isnât made in a vacuum.
C: Absolutely no one is holding your feet to the fire to make sure that you follow the plotline of the source material verbatim. Certainly you took liberties with what form of beastliness Kylo had, so you could have similarly chose to alter Gastonâs characterization in some way or you could have made Finn a different character entirely. Like I mentioned before, Gaston was not in the original fairy tale and so the narrative works fine without him. Finn exhibits none of Gastonâs character traits in canon so you chose willingly to sand him down so you could fit a square peg in a round holeâ an action that, as mentioned previously, reflects the rhetoric of white supremacy for the past few centuries.
ktf: Okay. You know what? You obviously woke up this morning itching for a soapbox. So, may the force be with you and may your crusade keep you warm at night. This is a fan fiction, not a doctoral thesis, so if you donât mind Iâm just going to continue living my life. I can assure you no thoughts of âdemonizingâ a race ever crossed my mind while writing this. Itâs not who I am. This doesnât deserve my time because you, A. Know nothing about me. B. Obviously have way too much time on your hands. C. Arenât worth the stress youâre causing. Have a blessed day!
iv. the aftermath
since my original post, i have been silently blocked by the author. antis who are poc have gotten anon hate, which has often been radicalized while i, a white anti, have not received anything wrt this fic. the author has gotten cocky about the whole situation, she has a bunch of adoring readers who coddle her, and she refuses to listen to any form of criticism.
now that iâm at the end of this post, iâm not really sure what i want to come out of it. i wanted to include more, but thereâs so much shit to wade through in the comments and that doesnât even account for whatâs on the authorâs tumblr. reylos, this shit has to fucking stop. you need to hold each other accountable, you need to call each other out bc this is exhausting.Â
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Because Iâm blocked Iâm gonna do me a real quick answer to this because wow.
Let me start off with, I blocked her because she blocked me. Eye for an eye I know, but still. I donât know her, Iâve never read anything sheâs written, and weâve never talked. So, Iâm not sure she even knew who I was before all of this started? I barely know who she is, so.. why would I talk about her? Answer? I didnât. I think she has me confused with someone else.
Right to it then, I actually headcanon top Craig lol. I donât know why people assume I canât like switching? This is ridiculous. We created BCW because a friend of mine and a few others on our server really like when Craig is a bottom, which is fine, because each person is allowed their own ideals in what people prefer. It was decided because we like the idea and we wanted more content, weâd go ahead and do a week since âweeksâ are a popular thing people do??
No one even thought about if someone was shamed, not one person thought about if bottom!tweek was involved. It was simply because we thought it sounded fun. Whoops. So no, it had nothing to do with ANYONEâS headcanons or to spite people or to protest against anything.
The drama happened because people who dislike the idea of bottom Craig started sending us hate on anon. Iâm talking three pages of the same god awful rhetoric. Nasty hateful stuff full of conveluted ideas that had nothing to do with anything. All because (and now Iâm going to name names) Ella posted a negative post about BCW because she misunderstood that it was NSFW. She stated as much, and apologized, but the damage was done. People attacked us. When we defended ourselves, not in anon, I have screen shots btw if you havenât seen my posts already- they got even more vile. Telling us that our opinions as queer people didnât matter. One person even called my friend Emma a Cracker and disrespected her as a pansexual women.
Not everyone needs or will want to participate. The entire point of saying itâs âbottomâ Craig week was to let people know that it would be ships involving Craig in those positions, and thus, make it easier for people to avoid if they didnât want to engage. You know. And blacklisting the tag.
Did I mention none of us attacked anyone? Because we hadnât. And any anon hate theyâve (the people involved aka Summer and Ella) have been receiving hasnât been from any of my friends or anyone I know. I donât send anon hate, I donât believe in anon hate. Have I been commenting my own opinions on my own social media? Absolfrickenlutely. As I expect they have as well, but Iâm blocked so lol. The point is, feel free to express yourself in your own blogs. Thatâs cool dawg. But donât tell me Iâve been attacking anyone through harassment because thatâs untrue. Whereâs your proof? You donât have any. Because I didnât do it.
She said she didnât like the people who will participate in BCW but you even donât know us. You once again are assuming that itâs people youâve had issues with. And a lot of people are participating, people who love creek and love other ships. Because it isnât a hateful event. Itâs okay to not like BCW, I never said it wasnât. But harassing other people over it, is wrong. Thatâs why weâre upset.
One more time: never In my LIFE have I read a single fic Summer has written. I can not comment on her writing, nor her stories. I have never made comments about her writing, because I-once again, havenât read anything. And that isnât shade? Thatâs just the truth. I donât read creek. I donât read a lot of fanficfion. If I have time to read I have time to write. As a writer I respect other writers and I donât shit talk them, why would I? But you wouldnât know that because you donât know me.
Second verse same as the first: I donât send anon hate, aayyyy. I donât know you, second ayyyy. Why would I even care enough to send hate? One more AYYYY.
I feel like this record is broken. Nothing about BCW is about you or any of the people who disagree with it. This week isnât and wasnât, made out of spite.
Tweek is a dude. I havenât harassed you over this but I will mention that I donât like your headcanon. But hey, youâre entitled to like it. Iâm not gonna tell you not to, but this is a free world so I can say I dislike it. Just like you donât have to like bottom Craig. But I didnât harass anyone. I stated my opinion and civilly minded my own business and block anything I dislike. Â I. Never. Harassed. You.
Receipts, provide them. Please. Because girl, I have nothing to hide. Im vocal, im opinionated, but I have never went to someone and hurt them purposefully. My Twitter is my space. I didnât @ anyone, I didnât name drop. I didnât hurt anyone. (and if I did, IÂ apologize for hurting you) I stated my opinion, point blank. The end. It was never done maliciously.
Know what Iâm going to do? Because Iâm not afraid of anyone and I welcome Summer to talk to me, I will unblock her and DM her to try to get this issue settled. I don't want any more discourse or drama.
BTW, IâM NOT RUNNING @bottomcraigweek -- so.
And NO ONEÂ AFFILIATEDÂ WITH BCW HAS SENT HATE NOR WILL THEY. @crowded-skies
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I LOVE jalexy's taz fics. Raise and get Razed is fuckin hilarious, and Do You Remember Me is so sad and sweet and Im so excited for the next update <3!
Jalexy I donât really know you that well but from what Iâve seen you are very nice and I love seeing your icon in the chat discussions!!
Galexy is really jazzed about dnd! And she knows her stuff! It's really fun going back and forth when talking about the pros and cons of spells in different situations!
Hey Jalexy! Itâs been a lot of fun seeing you around on the writerâs discord! Thanks for giving boom and me ways to customize the server to maximum non-readability â Iâm sure weâll use that information in totally responsible ways and not at all for fun and goofs. Your ideas for the potential Pacific Rim au were great â you mentioned that you like to make connections between the different stories and thatâs one of my absolute favorite parts of coming up with aus. We should talk more about aus sometime! I love them so much, come and talk and share this au pit with me. (Then we can trick other people into writing them.)
I read your fic, âRaise and get Razedâ and it was wonderful! I really like that you took a look at what necromancers might be beyond very goth and hiding out in caves; those are fun too, but the necromancers in your story are original and interesting! I love the idea of average people getting creative with a dark form of magic for relatively innocent reasons â I never would have considered a person using necromancy to help their farm, but asking a parent for advice using plants as a sacrifice are excellent ideas.
I think my favorite part, though, were the pun names and Lupâs reaction to them! I have no idea how you came up with so many but that entire section where the group is being asked for their names was wonderful. My absolute favorite line is this: âB- Buddy- Buddy Corpse? His nameâs Buddy Corpse. Itâs- itâs ironic how he- he died really c- cause I can admit that it sounds like bloody corpse but th- thatâs his real god given name.â (Poor guy, how did he never notice this trend?) Lup going back to retrieve the bodies just so she could see if their names were also puns was hilarious and absolutely something Lup would do. Poor Kravitz is trying to be professional and Lup and Barry arenât helping; itâs a mess and a delightful peek into their dynamics together!
Thank you for sharing this work and some wonderful experiences on discord, and I hope we can talk again soon! I hope you feel every bit as appreciated as you deserve to be!
Iâve also read your fic âDo You Remember Me?â that youâre collabing with hyperInactive, and I am so excited to see where you two go with it! Iâm incredibly fond of aus, and especially those that explore what might have happened differently in the story with even a slight change. I really love the idea of Lup getting out of the Umbrastaff early, and this is the first time that Iâve seen it explored with Lup leaving the Umbrastaff during the Rockport Limited arc. (While I was reading I hoped that the au aspect was going to be Lup being freed early, but I was not expecting it to happen in that moment! I had to stop and try to remember if that was how the fight went down - and then the crab snapped the staff and I had a great âoh shitâ moment.) Thatâs such a unique opportunity! Lup has the chance to see whatâs happening on the moon base and react to it, but is also able to more obviously interact with events of the story in a way that she couldnât in canon. There are so many possibilities here! Iâm not sure what youâre planning with the rest of the fic, but there are several arcs filled with potential and Iâm so excited to see where you go with it!
What I especially liked in the fic - something else I havenât seen before - is Lup refusing to believe that her brother would have forgotten about her. There are a number of fics that explore Lup learning things from inside the umbrella, and in most of them she figures out almost immediately that Taako has forgotten everything, including her. I love the difference of, despite all of the evidence that might hint otherwise, Lup doesnât believe it. (And the moment on the train when she wonders if Taako stopped looking for her after a couple of years broke my heart - sheâs not angry, but she never would have stopped looking for Taako.) Thatâs such a realistic way to portray that realization; itâs the one thing that Lup refuses to accept until she absolutely has to, and that gives her moment of realization so much more impact. Iâm very excited to see what you do with both this and other fics in the future!
"Jalexy, the apprecaition zone has led me to your Ao3 and i have never been more greatful. 'Raise and get Razed' was hilarious and all round a wonderful short read! All their names are puns and it took me a while to get it but once it clicked I died laughing. Also the setting of the barn, and their reason for summoning (pumpkings, the first instinct when pumpins arn't growing is ask a demon. im.) Â was great?? I loved it. Im not very far into 'Do You Remember Me' that you have been writing with hyperInactive but bOY is it good. The lup feels are so heavy in this one, and I can assure you I'll be binging the entire fic sometime soon. Theres this wonderful mix of lines straight from the podcast as well as explorations of scenes from Lup's perspective and its just. The feels. Its just all so good."
Cool. Well I would like to say that I read some of her fics and that her strongest skill, one I really envy, is her ability for description! Itâs really easy to picture what sheâs saying and itâs all so real seeming. Honestly itâs an amazing skill and makes her writing great in a way that keeps my attention and I just assume everyone elseâs
Their angst is absolutely A+ and their tumblr has the perfect balance of fandom v memes, and i enjoy following them v much (although I don't understand their homestuck references, which i assume are very funny based on other experiences). They're a warm and funny presence on the discord, which is mainly how I know them, and they're always around to chat or to help generate Horrible Ideas. They are eminently quotable and the discord would be an emptier place without them.
Ive got my addition! Ive read and reread your gift for candlenights sooo many times!! I love your works, but that one in particular was so funny i was dying! Badass dysfunctional reaper squad is the absolute best, and I love how you write them! Youâre a ton of fun to have in the chat, from the thousands of cursed jean jokes that get dropped to the fun ideas tossed around (even in the dangerous waters of the homestuck tag). Stay cool!!
Raise and get Razed was one of the funniest TAZ fics I've read!! Barry is a nerd, the characterization was spot-on, and the sheer amount of puns... I kept laughing through the entire thing! Also, I love your blog and blog theme,, it's so soft and nice to look at.
I hope this isn't too late but for galaxies good good feels thing I wanted to say that I knew them in the McElroy party server and they've always been extremely fun to be around and just a joy to be near. they always have soft, fluffy ideas that they execute beautifully, it's good enough to be published as a children's book, and honestly, their ideas are great for when you just want to unwind with a warm and fluffy story.
Sorry this is so late ive been moving house while working full time things been slipping x.x Jalexy! Holy jazz you beautiful human, you are a day-brightener in every possible way! You're so positive and easy to talk to and an actual literal Great Human with a tumblr that is aaaaaall Good Shit (bc I legit scrolled through for a couple hours because all of it was so good?? You know how to pass on that good good content and it's ALWAYS a good day when you're on my dash. Thank you for being one of the sunshine people <3
"Hey!!! I don't get to talk to you nearly enough for how fucking cool you are, but you are super fucking cool. I wish i had so much more substace to put in this than i do, but school is kicking my ass (like always, really, fucking developmental disorders, why are they like this???) and i am a nervous bean who has seen your url and your killer handle (seriously, that nickname and handle are to die for!!! good shit right there) many times and been too weenie to talk to you. I know you are super chill and super cool, and i admire you a lot, and hopefully we talk a lot in the future. <3"
Time To Appreciate the Shit out of Alex! Â Like, ok, you are just so good???? im giving up on anonymity here, you're gonna know its me by what I say. Â If I tried to be vague and anonymous, I wouldnt be happy with what I said. Â (Also this is gonna be super sappy bc i have two modes: Angst and Sap, and this sure as hell isnt gonna be the former). Â Anyway, you are so much fun to write fics with. Â Like, hands down I would write endless amounts of stories with you bc you have such good ideas, constantly. Â Half the time our brainstorming is me sending you an idea that I think is decent but not that great, and then you sending back an idea that is just So Damn Good. Â Your story ideas are super original too, and they're stories that if I saw them in a bookstore i would buy them in a heartbeat because I've seen nothing really like them. Â And your writing never fails to make me laugh, because you just have this way of adding humor to stories that doesn't seem forced at all and I'm convinced its a whole different art form because I could never be as funny as you when I write. Â And then, when the humor is super obvious in the writing it doesnt even feel wrong or clunky in any way it's just hysterical.
Your writing style is just so unique and I could read it forever. Â Youve been one of my absolute Best Friends for four years now, and you've motivated me to write so much, I can never repay you for all the ideas youve given me and the beta-ing help and the brainstorming we've done that most of the time turns into us making jokes about Everything. Â Do You Remember Me is one of my favorite things to write, and thats largely thanks to you. Â You're just so supportive of all my writing, no matter what it is, and I hope that I'm doing a good job in return because honestly? Â I think one of the reasons I'm so intent on making that fic perfect is because I want to make you proud? Â You're just a huge inspiration to me and I really want you to be happy with the fics we make together. Â And you'd better know that when you publish your first novel, I'll be the first one to get a copy because its gonna be amazing! You're gonna be amazing!
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so ive recently hit a writing block with my fics and requests, which i am very sorry for, so to try and get back into things ive decided to do a fic meme i found on lj (specifically @wizzard890âs old lj in fact WHICH U SHOULD ALL CHECK OUT FOR THE FICS IF NOTHING ELSE)! letâs go!
1. Write down the names of 10 characters.⨠2. Write a fic of fifteen words or less for every prompt, using the characters determined by the numbers. Do NOT read the prompts before you do step 1. 1) Luca Changretta (Peaky Blinders) 2) Sugar Kane (Some Like It Hot) 3) Katara (Avatar: The Last Airbender) 4) Russia (Hetalia) 5) Henry Winter (The Secret History) 6) Daisy Buchanan (The Great Gatsby) 7) Rosalind (The Misfits) 8) Ben Solo (Star Wars) 9) Sansa Stark (A Song of Ice and Fire) 10) Fenris (Dragon Age)Â
âfifteen words or lessâ lmao yea that aint happenin im gonna aim for like, three sentences.
putting it under a cut so that it doesnt clog anyoneâs dash, but before hand im gonna tag @scuzzyblinders @blinder-secrets @nogods--nomasters @venusofsuburbia @irresistible-revolution
First Time: 4 and 6Â (Russia and Daisy)
It was hard to stand out at Jayâs parties, but this man certainly did so. Taller than any man Daisy had ever met, and certainly thicker and stronger looking, he seemed like the kind of man who, in theory, should seem frightening. But there was something about him, an aura almost, that denoted a kindness and gentleness that Daisy had lost long ago. She pitied him for it a little bit. And envied him for it far more.
âAre you one of Jayâs new friends?â She asked, taking two flutes of champagne from a passing server and handing the man one. âI donât recall ever seeing you.â
The man seemed surprised at Daisyâs sudden presence, but he smiled and good God Daisy had never seen eyes that colour, like giant amethysts. âDa,â he took a glass in one of his giant hands, with a far more gentle touch than Daisy had expected a man of his size to posses. âJust came from Moscow. I am Ivan, and you?â
âDaisy. Daisy Buchanan.â
Angst, 7Â (Rosalind)
The desert made Rosalind think of Christ, of his journey into the sand the arms of the Devil and all the temptations he had laid out. Even when she was a girl she knew she wouldnât have had the fortitude of Jesus to turn down what the Devil offered.
She closed her eyes, and pondered just how much the Devil would laugh at her.
AU, 1 and 8Â (Luca and Ben) (TW: Self harm mention)
âI heard about your father.â Ben paused, unsure as to how he should continue. He had never been good at expressing his feelings in a way that could be described as healthy (the self inflicted scratches and constant destruction that followed him was proof enough of that), but this is the kind of thing a person does isnât? Express condolences? âI...Iâm sorry.â He tries not to wince, as even to his own ears it sounds feeble, almost forced.
He expects Luca to give him a withering look, or ignore him. But instead the older man looks at him, dark eyes sadder than anything Ben had ever seen, and it makes his heart stop for a moment. âThank you.â Lucaâs voice is low and husky, with the thick Italian accent and still gave Ben chills.
Ben only nodded and quickly went back to punching the bag in front of him, hoping anyone who looked would think that the red in his face was from the exertion.
Threesome, 3, 6, and 9Â (Katara, Daisy, and Sansa)
Daisy had never known a love like this, the kind that makes you want to stretch yourself taut, beyond taut, around another person (or in this case, two people), and act as a shield.
They looked like girls still, young and fresh faced and innocent, but Daisy knew better. Even before they had spoken, she could see it; the tiredness behind the eyes that came with seeing things one never wanted to see, the set of their mouths that only came from a special kind of sadness, the way they slumped like so much weight was on their shoulders.
She places a hand on the heads of the now sleeping girls women and strokes their hair as lightly as she can. She couldnât protect them before. But she can now.
Hurt/Comfort, 5 and 10Â (Henry and Fenris)
In another life, things wouldâve been different. Fenris wouldâve been born free, free from slavery, free from trauma, free from the lyrium that tore through his body. Free to be who and what he wished.
But this was not that life. It would never be that life.
âI said that I wanted to be alone.â His voice is gruffer than usual, and croakier, and Henry doesnât know if he should blame the wine or tears. Perhaps itâs a bit of both.
âYou shouldnât be alone at a time like this.â Henry sat across from Fenris, looking directly at him as Fenris made a very obvious effort to avoid all eye contact. âYou donât have to talk.â Henry said, pulling out a book from his satchel. âI brought something to read.â
âOf course you did.â Fenris tried to sound neutral, but he couldnât stop his mouth from twitching.
In another life, he wouldâve been free. But in this one, he has Henry, and while he isnât always the best company, Fenris knows effort when he sees it.
Crack, 1Â (Luca)
âWHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!â Luca threw the plate across the room, only narrowly missing several servers because they were quick enough to get out of the way. âYou call that shit pasta?! My grandmother can cook better than that and sheâs fucking dead!â
Cody only sighs.
Horror, 10Â (Fenris)
He thought the cuts were the worst things he had ever felt. Then came the lyrium.
Baby!fic, 5 and 9Â (Henry and Sansa)
âHeâs so small.â Henry sounds fascinated, and Sansa wouldâve laughed if she werenât so tired.
âHe looks like you.â She said softly, running her fingers along her sonâs cheek. âSee? He has your sleep frown.â
âI do not have a sleep frown.â
Dark, 2 and 8Â (Sugar and Ben)
As the temple burned and Sugar crawled her way through the dirt, she could see Ben. The fire was so fierce and bright, she could see it reflected in his eyes, making him look like what she always imagined Sith Lords would look like.
(Later, she would wonder if it truly had been the fire, and not simply the thing within Ben that had started them.)
Romance, 4 and 7Â (Russia and Rosalind)
As the sun begins to rise over the desert horizon, Ivan stirs.
It takes him a few blinks to be able to see properly, and when he does the first thing to meet his gaze is a sleeping Rosalind.
He smiles and puts an arm around her, to shield her from the light, so that she can sleep for just a little longer.
Deathfic, 2 and 3Â (Sugar and Katara)
Katara had told her not to come. It was dangerous enough for the rest of them, but Sugar could neither Bend or fight. But she insisted, saying that she wanted to help, to do something worthwhile, to not leave her friends behind.
She had gotten her wish. It hadnât been for Sugar, Katara wouldâve gotten the full brunt of Azulaâs lightning.
The smell of burning flesh would never leave Katara.
#meme fics#'im gonna aim for like three sentences' *first one is longer than three sentences* DNGDFJBGDFJBGDFGBDFJBDFJK
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Does the new site mean this blog is now irrelevant? I have been an official member from the start, and I have to say this change has made me kind of sad. Gone it seems is the raw anonymity and beauty only a platform like tumblr can provide, not to mention the years (has it been that long?) of words I've breathed to life here.
absolutely not. this site will always be here and it wonât ever be considered irrelevant as far as iâm concerned. i am the first who have put blood and time and life and words in this blog, and iâd be lying if i said iâm not a bit sad too tbh. i adore tumblr and the tumblr nature of the society still, and i always will. the thing is, as the curator and the person who actually âmakes the society workâ, perhaps i have a different perception of whatâs going on in the society and its potential, and iâve come to realize tumblr was in fact cutting the dapsâ wings kind of. tumblr is not thought for providing the things such a society needs, not on this scale anyway. what you see itâs the poems published, but what i see itâs the endless times poems or parts of them went lost (tumblr is not thought to support 29837678 people sending multiple different asks at the same time to just one blog), people waiting over two months to be published because the entire process of publishing so many things here is so ridiculously slow and difficult (go back perpetually in the ask box, find the point you were on the day before, read, check if there are other parts maybe ten othersâ poems away, put them together, put the link to the society, publish it, go back on your blog, put the tags, go back to the right point in the inbox again), not being able to answer daps related questions in real time (yes here thereâs IM too, but people send me anons instead bc they want to keep their identity secret and i take forever to respond bc iâm too busy/i donât even see their asks among all the poems), not being able to write and answer questions of different nature for months (again i have no time, or i see them really late), not to mention the visibility issue: tumblr is indeed famous and beautiful, but none can deny the average tumblr user is *that kind of user* and that tumblrâs mentality is *that mentality* and that many times this limits its usersâ freedom of expression. we are missing out like most part of the world, bc who wants to be part of daps has to sign up on tumblr too.
with a real blog, with a domain, an hosting plan which provides a strong personal server, backups of the entire blog, assistance, no bugs, over 1000000 view a mouth without the fear the website would crush, we can actually have a professional, serious DAPS in our hands (also, i found myself many times to wonder what would happen in the random and improbable scenario in which tomorrow tumblr shouts down or is blocked or as my space in ten years becomes irrelevant). in the last two weeks i was able (with endless work, but i did) to kinda put on the website everything i thought you needed as a user and i needed as a curator. i can publish things with a few clicks, i can name users roles (guest and official members) and the thing they can do or not because of their status. i can assist everything in real time with a chat that directly points to me. you can have a website you can actually really live, you have personal pages entirely customizable which shows the poems you have written as well, facebook-like. you can talk with each other and with me without losing your anonymity. you donât have to split your poems in parts or put / to separate stanzas, you can change colors, fonts, impagination, insert media and links. you can edit the poems you have submitted anytime.we can be seen and joined all around the world by anyone. in short, the daps will be a real A+ thing.
i will keep editing and add features to the website, hopefully making it better and better, even nicer looking (wordpress donât have tumblrâs elegance, i know), but i really believe in time it will make a difference. i put all my birthday money in this project tbh, because i ADORE daps. itâs my baby. i had to take it to the next level. and i think i did.
i donât feel like to answer what this blog is gonna be yet, because first i want to see if you actually enjoy the new website. my idea was and still is to move the daps there. this blog is gonna have a link to it where now thereâs the link to the daps page, but itâs gonna forever be here and alive. that was the idea, now letâs see what happens.
#the dead anon poets society#daps website#the society#about me#one and one thousand stories lis told
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