Hey by the way if anyone tries to deny Kabru is a judgy bitch I’ll send you the panels of him calling everyone worthless
Respect his duality he’s a good boy who genuinely wants the best for everyone but also thinks he has to do everything himself despite being the Least Qualified Ever because no one else lives up to his standards
He doesn’t even want to look at monsters but oh well every single other person is a piece of shit let’s go get my friends killed over and over again
He’s interesting BECAUSE he’s not one dimensional Good Pure Boy all the time, he’s a judgy manipulative little shit who will eat monsters if it gets him towards his goals, which are “nobody should be killed by monsters actually” and “i want to know what the fuck is going on”
He coulda had ONE honest conversation with Laios and known literally everything about him, Laios has never met a filter
But Kabru was raised for a good chunk of his life (6-18) by Milsiril, and for all he believes elves can never understand short lived people… he picked up the whole “I must be secretive and always conceal my own motivations”
He only breaks under literally the most intense high pressure situation he’s likely to see in his life, which along with being the potential goddamn apocalypse is also a rehashing of All Of His Personal Trauma oh and also Every Suspicion He Ever Had About This One Guy
He’s not more honest because he’s an honest person, he’s more honest because he forgot how sentences work when he finally caught Laios and doesn’t have the bandwidth to play the constant 4D chess in his head that underpins his EVERY INTERACTION WITH EVERYONE EVER until Marcille takes the lion
Kabru’s a pretty good person, with extremely good motivations and goals.
He’s a manipulative son of a bitch who will do anything, anywhere, anytime, to meet those goals, and spends a solid chunk of his time and energy on reading people so he can be someone they like… regardless of his own feelings.
He’s the living The Good Of The Many Outweigh The Needs Of The Few, and solidly puts himself in with “the few” by doing shit he hates because he thinks it’ll help.
Isn’t that more interesting than “oh he would never manipulate anyone, he’s so nice and good all the time”?
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Ok, call me crazy, but I have a theory. And it might not necessarily be a theory, maybe just an observance, but I noticed something with Malleus Overblot.
Warning - Spoilers for Book 7
So as we all know, the main plot point that leads up to Malleus overblotting is Lilia leaving NRC due to a loss of his magic. But over the books, I've noticed something. In Book 6 we learn that overblots are less a sudden intense outpouring of blot and negative emotion, and more like the tipping point of an amalgamation of years of buildup. I find that made a lot of sense with what I'd noticed, because with the blot gathering cut scenes, even in parts where it seems like things are going pretty well (like with Azul, Jamil, and Leona all having the upper hand until almost the very last moment), it gives a sense of dread and things taking a darker turn.
And while some of them make a lot of sense (Vil's ever growing obsession and losses to Neige or Riddle's constant fights with the main gang and his own dorm), in the instances where the blot buildup doesn't makes sense, Book 6 fave it clarity.
But I noticed that there's always a tipping point. A snap where you can see the character in question starts acting differently or odd. Riddle was violent and sudden, all of them were. But Azul was the first and most obvious example of this snap that I noticed. Leona destroys everything he worked so hard for, it cuts back to us and the tweels, and when we get back to Octanivelle, Azul's gone batshit. Literally. He snapped in every sense of the word. Riddle's snap wasn't obvious to me aside from the absurdity of Ace punching him, until I looked back. Riddle's snap was Trey going against him. Leona's was finding out he not only got found out, but got foiled. Jamil's was thinking the whole world saw his plans (which I believe was actually less just his own plans getting fucked but also a reaction to the fact that if he got found out by thr Asim's, his family might not survive their wrath but that's for another time.) Vil's snap wasn't even what lead up to him attempting to poison Neige, because he acts normal right after when Rook takes the juice. His snap is Kalim stopping him from hurting Rook with said poison. Idia's snap, I don't think was in the underworld talking to the original Ortho. I think Idia's snap was hearing Ortho call him Idy.
But Malleus? While the lead up is all about Lilia's impending leave, his loss of one of his only people. The only person who's been there his whole life. His dad. He's no where near Lilia when he snaps. He's already snapped when he shows up in the party with Silver and talks Maleficent monologuing. You can so easily spot his snap, because similar to Azul, he goes batshit. Silver notices it right away with Malleus laughing suddenly.
The begs the question, why did he snap with Silver. They were talking about Lilia, and Silver was crying, but to me. It didn't feel like that snap was about Lilia. It felt like it was about Silver. I'm one of those people who believes that Malleus and Silver are like brothers. They have a bond like that, even if they don't act on it in cannon. They're supposed to be a prince and bodyguard, those are their roles, and they're good at playing them for a reason. But that's the thing. If that's all they were, why would Silver, who doesn't show that much emotion is general, who's calm and collected, who runs out in what seems like a near panicked state to find Mallsus before Lilia leaves, start bawling his eyes out in front of Malleus. With barely a nudge?
They were both essentially raised by the same man. They are brothers through Lilia. Malleus has almost no one, he clings to Yuu because they treat him as if he were just another person. Just as Lilia does. Just as Silver often does. Sebek is the only one of the group who treats Malleus the way we could expect someone from Briar Valley might. Sebek is a whole other thing, but wouldn't Silver, who was raised by Lilia, who was taken in by his grandmother the queen, who guarded his and acted as her general, treat him similarly?
He does! We see it in events like the Glorious Masquerade, he is still Malleus's bodyguard for a reason! But if Lilia's relationship with Melanor was like Silver's with Malleus, it makes sense that their relationship would reflect that of their parents. And it has the added effect of Malleus being an orphan as well, and as far as I can tell (and an eng player trying to not get too many spoilers), Lilia takes a major role in Malleus's youth. He might not have been there constantly when he was younger, but he was there. And he was the only one who (besides probably his very busy grandmother) didnt treat Malleus as something to be feared or revered.
But what does this all have to do with Malleus snapping and overblotting? Malleus and Silver have a very specific relationship in cannon. Its professional decently often, but it's also soft. Silver will absolutely protect Malleus, but he knows that he doesn't always want or need it. He doesn't need to be observed like a hawk 24/7 if something goes sideways. (Seen in how quickly he and Sebek check on Malleus after the attack in book 6, and how calm Silver is while Sebek is panicking over a missing Malleus he wouldn't leave alone later on).
Malleus barely has to say anything to Silver before he breaks down in tears about everything with Lilia. I know as someone who be very private with what's bothering me, the only person who could get me to break down that hard and that fast would be someone I consider family. Silver so inherently trusts Malleus that he'll sob and cry in front of him with so little. He's desperate and shattering. The only person he let see that was Malleus.
Then Malleus laughs, and Silver's caught of guard. That basically proved that this is his snap, because it pretty much fully implies that this is out of character for the prince. Silver would take the laughter and the teleporation is sride. Instead he's shocked and bewildered through both of those things, confused when they show up at Diasomnia.
Malleus only goes back and quickly overblots because he'd already hit the point of overblotting. But it required blot, and he hadn't used any magic for that blot like everyone else until he got back and everyone started fighting him. He overblotted because losing Lilia killed him. But he didn't Overblot until the only other person beside the newcomer Yuu (who was also trying to figure out how to leave him) who treated him like a normal person expressed his exact feelings.
Neither brother wanted their dad to leave, but Lilia was leaving, and it broke Silver. And thus, Malleus snapped and overblotted because of Silver.
Anyways I'm not very good at articulating myself sometimes but this is just a long-winded way of saying I think malleus actually only fully overblotted because his little brother sobbed for their dad leaving them and his need for the few people he has was combined with his need to protect them (aka the sweet dreams and forcefullness of them) and Silver's breakdown was just the final straw. He kept Lilia and everyone else via their dreams safe because it meant they were all together and happy.
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Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.
I don't have external meltdowns.
I could. I don't let it happen.
I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.
So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.
She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.
Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].
It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.
They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.
I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.
I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.
I couldn't understand what made her like this.
But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.
If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.
And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*
And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?
My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.
Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???
And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.
I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*
She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.
I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.
So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.
But I told her hundreds of times.
I probably should have just screamed at her.
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