#For being left behind and forgotten would mean he is more like the rest. Just another step forwards

[longagoitwastuesday]

I actually like the last chapter. I think the ideas are very good. I have my qualms on how some things were managed, as I always do, but I think shonen authors get tangled in the expectations of a shonen to the point it jeopardises their writing, often even when they're not lacking in skills

[jjkamochoso]

Nobody Got You the Way I Do

Angst, Fluff

Soshiro Hoshina x gn!reader

No matter what problems you run into, big or small, you and Soshiro are always there for each other :)

Inspired by the Kaiju No. 8 outro song “Nobody” by One Republic

Warnings: light cussing, violence, mentions of blood, dead bodies, and people getting eaten by a kaiju

It's a bit of a long one so buckle up and enjoy! <3

[I'd take the fall/I got you covered when there's no one at all]

“There’s one more report that someone failed to turn in last night. Does anyone here have an explanation? Officer L/n?”

Your heart sank in your chest as you desperately tried to keep the internal freak out you were having from showing externally. You had forgotten to finish the last report of the night—well actually, morning, since it was 5 am when you finally left the office. You had written 10 other reports in a record time yesterday, somehow being on the recieving end of the Operations team’s grunt work even though you were a seasoned officer. You wanted to grip Captain Ashiro by the shoulders and force her to get a good look at your sleep deprived face so she understood that your forgotten report was a complete accident, brought on not by carelessness but by exhaustion, and then you would gladly grovel and beg for forgiveness so you wouldn’t get written up for your mistake. Before you could even move a muscle, though, Soshiro spoke up in your defense.

“My apologies, Captain, I had Officer L/n occupied as they helped me recount the details needed for my own reports. By the time we were finished, it was daybreak and I released them from their duties. You’ll have their report by noon today.”

Captain Ashiro gave a curt nod of acknowledgment before moving on to the next topic. When her back was turned toward you, you mouthed a thank you to Soshiro, who, in turn, shot you a wide smile.

[Oh, yeah, and I'd stay through the night/When you got demons tryna break through the walls]

You yawned, putting your feet in the slippers by your bed as you got up in search for a late night snack. You were having trouble sleeping and you figured a little walk and some food might help you relax. You padded through the quiet, dim hallways of the Defense Force base, your muscle memory taking you straight to the dining area without giving it a second thought. To your surprise, there was somebody already in there. You recognized the figure as your close friend Soshiro, but his body language was unlike anything you’d seen from him before. He had his arms outstretched in front of him, his fingers gripping the sides of the communal kitchen sink like it was a buoy in the open ocean. His chin was hanging low against his chest and you tried to make your footsteps a little louder so you didn’t sneak up behind him and accidentally scare him while he was in such a fragile state. You debated just leaving him be and heading back to your room so as not to bother him, but it seemed like he really needed someone there for him and you’d be damned if you let a friend suffer for no reason.

“Soshiro? Are you… is everything alright in there?”

You called out as softly as you could, but you saw the way his shoulders tensed up at your voice and your heart broke a little. The seemingly unshakable man you admired was seriously hurting and you were determined to help him get through whatever it was.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.”

He flashed you a grin and a thumbs up to prove he was alright but his shaky breaths and dark circles under his eyes were telling a whole different story. Both of you knew you weren’t going to fall for such a blatant lie—you were much too observant and knew him well enough to know something was wrong. That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to keep trying to push you away, though.

“Are you sure? No offense, but you don’t look it.”

“Really, y/n, I’m okay. Go back to bed, every good soldier needs their rest.”

No matter how long he kept up this act of nonchalance, you wouldn’t believe it for a second. Whether he wanted to fess up an explanation for his distress or not was his choice, but you were content to just give him company for a little while so he wasn’t alone.

“I think an impromptu hangout session would do us both some good right now since neither of us can sleep. My room’s a mess so we’ll have to go to yours if that’s cool.”

Soshiro’s eyebrows raised in a playful manner. “You want to go to my room after hours? If anyone sees us… they might get the wrong idea. People talk, you know.”

“So?” you questioned, grabbing a bag of chips from the cabinet. “Let them. I just want to talk with a friend and if that bothers someone, I couldn’t care less.”

He was too exhausted to argue so he let you lead the way out of the common area. When you made it back to Soshiro’s room, you both sat on his bed and munched on the food you brought. You kept the conversation lighthearted for a while before diving into the whole reason why you were there with him as the moon shone outside his window.

“So, do you wanna talk about earlier?”

“I do, but… it’s silly. Juvenile.”

“Who’s to say? I certainly won’t judge you,” you told him.

A few seconds passed, silence washing over you.

“I had a nightmare. Another one. They’ve been nonstop all night.”

That explained his jumpy demeanor and tired gaze.

“I’m sorry that’s happening to you. You deserve a time where you can escape all the shitty things you deal with in real life. It’s not fair you’re haunted at night, too.”

Soshiro was quiet as he nibbled on a chip, lost in thought.

“It’s the same one over and over again,” he continued after a bit, “the nightmare. I train, I fight, I lose, people die. It’s an endless cycle of my failure.”

You leaned in a little closer, sitting up on one arm while you rested a hand on his shoulder. “You’re hard on yourself for no reason and that stress is probably what causes the bad dreams. You’ve been a wise vice captain and a fierce fighter, taking down every kaiju you’ve come in contact with. I know you can’t will the nightmares away but just know that they couldn’t be further from the truth. The division puts its trust in you for a reason.”

Soshiro met your eyes as you sent a small smile his way.

“I put my trust in you for a reason, too, as you trust in me,” you explained. “There’s no one else I’d rather have by my side during hard times and I hope I can be that person for you as well.”

You gave his shoulder a final squeeze and moved your hand back to the soft comforter. His hand was ready to dash out and find purchase on your own, as a sign of comfort or something deeper he wasn’t sure, but he hesitated. The call of your bare skin wasn’t his to answer; he didn’t deserve your softness. He didn’t deserve this kindness and selflessness you were showing him as you listened to his foolish woes without judgement. What made him special enough to think he ever had a chance at seeing your enchanting figure at this hour every night for the rest of his life? If you weren’t in the room, he would’ve scoffed out loud. He was delusional. He was overly tired and emotionally drained, that’s all. There was no way he’d find himself as head over heels for you in the morning. You two were just close friends, that’s all. That was enough for him, wasn’t it? Why did he feel the burning desire for something more?

[There ain't no, no kinda line/That I wouldn't cross if you need me to/You're out here searchin' for signs/So I think it's finally time that you knew]

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, you know.”

“That’s kinda hardcore considering we’re talking about a bottle of water.”

“Way to ruin the moment, L/n.”

Soshiro handed you your drink and you gulped it down gratefully. Actually, now that you’d given it more thought, you hadn’t even asked him for the bottle in the first place. Rather, you had made an off handed comment that morning during breakfast about wanting to be more hydrated throughout the day and Soshiro must’ve taken on the responsibility of making that happen.

“While I very much appreciate this gesture, aren’t you supposed to be in training?”

“I wanted to see you instead,” he said, a playful glint in his eye. “Besides, we can’t have our best operations officer wither away from dehydration. I’d be too lonely without you.”

He jutted out his bottom lip, making you laugh as you went back to work.

“Whatcha working on?” he inquired, spinning around in a chair.

“Strategic planning and city evacuation plans.”

“How thrilling.”

“S’not so bad,” you murmured, deep in thought. “And actually I’m glad you’re here because you’re the perfect man for this question.”

“You could’ve stopped at ‘perfect man’ and I would’ve suggested to the brass you needed a raise,” Soshiro teased, instantaneously on his feet to peruse the papers you had sprawled on the table.

“You could’ve omitted everything in that sentence except for the part about the raise,” you shot back, Soshiro sticking his tongue out at you. When you got to talking about work, it was like a flip of a switch with Soshiro. He immediately turned from joking to serious, listening intently to your question and helping you find the most logical solution. As he pored over the map in front of him, you noticed he was standing close to you so you took the time to observe the finer details about your friend. His violet hair was hanging loosely and framing his face perfectly. His toned arms were on full display from where the short sleeves of his tight training shirt ended. Speaking of tight shirt, it was ridiculous the way his broad, muscled back was having you almost gasp for air. However, it certainly wasn’t only his physical appearance that left you breathless. It was the way he made plates for you at meals when you were running late. It was the way he encouraged you to try your best during physical training, even if you were nowhere near having the prowess of soldiers on the front lines. It was the way he sought you out at any given moment. It was the way he was always there for you no matter what. You groaned inwardly. Your life would be so much less complicated if you didn’t realize you had caught major feelings for your close friend. Relationships were strongly discouraged in this line of work due to the danger you were constantly in and the lack of a promised future for any members of the Defense Force, but there was a nagging voice in the back of your mind saying that it was how you felt in the present that mattered, not what the future may or may not bring. Still, no matter if you thought about Soshiro romantically or platonically, there was one undeniable truth he needed to hear from you.

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, either.”

Tearing his gaze from the map, Soshiro turned to you, mouth opened in surprise at your admission before quickly closing it again, his eyes softening as his heart swelled in his chest. You said the words with such conviction that it made him want to marry you on the spot.

“Vice captain!”

The wheezing voice of Kafka Hibino rang through the room, breaking the eye contact between you and Soshiro.

“Y-you’re needed… at the training grounds… right away.”

Kafka looked like he was a second away from passing out with the way he was clutching his chest and gasping for air. You quickly came to his aid by dumping the contents of your bottle into his mouth as he drank it greedily. Spilled water dribbled down his chin as he thanked you profusely, looking at you like you hung all the stars in the sky.

“Hibino!” Soshiro’s eyes were narrowed more than usual as he addressed his soldier. “Go refill Officer L/n’s bottle. If you take longer than 20 seconds, you don’t get any more water breaks for the rest of today’s training.”

“Yes sir!”

Kafka ran with the speed of a cheetah and you swatted at Soshiro’s arm lightly.

“The poor guy was on his deathbed, cut him some slack. I could’ve refilled the bottle myself.”

“I know.” His lips curled up slyly. “But it’s fun to mess with him and I like taking care of you.”

You wanted to explore that sentiment a LOT further but your moment with Soshiro was over as Kafka burst through the door again, your water bottle filled to the brim. You thanked him and the men were on their way out, Soshiro sending you a wave that you gladly returned.

“You’re always happy but you look more smiley than usual, sir. Was it because of y/n?”

Uh oh. Did I say that out loud? thought Kafka.

“15 laps around the building for being nosy and 100 push ups for referring to a superior improperly.”

“But-”

“20 laps and 150 push ups. Or does 25 laps and 200 push ups sound better?”

“N-no, Vice Captain! I’m sorry!”

Kafka took off at full speed, not wanting to incur any more punishment as Soshiro just shook his head, laughing to himself.

[Nobody got you the way I do/Whatever demons you're fightin' through/When you need somebody to turn to/Nobody got you the way I do]

You were having a really, terribly, horribly shitty day at work. Nothing was going right: all of your coworkers were in a bad mood, the computer system kept crashing and losing your saved data. You were beyond ready to clock out as soon as time allowed, but you were ordered to stay behind and go through computer files to double check none of the information had been compromised. You didn't know what divine figure you must've upset because there could be no other explanation as to why you were always being punished like this. Competency was truly a curse, and since you were the best at your job, along with everyone else's, you continuously got the task of making sure the Operations team didn't fall apart. It was an honor to be seen as responsible and irreplaceable in the eyes of the higher ups, sure, but not at the expense of your mental health. By the time you were finished, it was another late night at the office for you, but at least it was over. You gathered your things and trudged toward your room, eager to lay down and give your tired eyes a break. You rounded another corner of the building but stopped in your tracks when the light of the training room practically blinded you from down the hall.

"Waste of electricity," you grumbled to yourself, walking over to turn off the light. To your surprise, you heard footfalls and grunts from inside. Who would be up training this late? Your question was answered as you observed Soshiro fly around the room, swinging his practice swords with precise movements.

"Y/n!" he greeted when he spotted you in the doorway, ceasing his training, "I missed you at mealtime. Don't tell me you found another table to sit at."

He wore a fake frown that was replaced by his signature smile in an instant, his canines peeking out of his mouth.

"I'm glad you came away unscathed today. I heard it was brutal in the office."

"Brutal is definitely one word for it," you said, sitting on a weight bench. "I want to cry for hours on end but I think my body's too tired to let go of the tears."

Soshiro set his swords down and took up the spot next to you, his leg brushing against your own.

"You wanna talk about it?"

You would've loved nothing more, but you didn't want to bother him with nonsensical babbling about how sucky your day was. His work was vital and you refused to be the one preventing him from continuing it.

"I appreciate the offer," you said, standing up and already missing the feeling of his leg on yours, "but I should let you get back to training. Ranting about my work annoyances aren't crucial to humanity's survival like your training is, so I'll see you later."

You turned away, ready to walk to your room, when the vice captain hurriedly took hold of your hand to stop you from leaving.

"Wait," he said, his tone affectionate yet pleading, "let me be there for you like you were, and always are, there for me. I want you to know you can turn to me at times like these. I won't push you away."

You stared at each other in silence before he spoke once more.

"Please don't go."

Your dam of tears burst.

You didn't know who pulled who in first, but it was of no importance--the only thing that mattered was that Soshiro was offering you a safe space to let go of the misery you'd been holding in for much too long. Your tears were easily escaping down your cheeks, soaking the back of Soshiro's shirt.

"It's okay, I'm here, I'm here," he soothed. The feeling of safety and security in his arms was something you hadn't felt in a long time and was almost too much for you to bear, making you cry even harder. As more tears fell, you felt his grip on you tighten and you returned the favor, hanging onto him like he was your lifeline. His nimble fingers slowly worked their way up and down your back, sliding around in a comforting manner. His familiar scent wafted up your nostrils, doing wonders to calm you down after your outburst.

"Shh, you're alright," he cooed, his voice as warm and gentle as a summer breeze. "Today was a bad day but they don't last forever. Tomorrow will be better, I promise. You'll get though it. And if you can't get through it on your own, then we'll get through it together, okay?"

You sniffled and nodded your head, making Soshiro relieved that his comforting skills weren't as bad as he thought they might've been. You didn't know how long you stayed with your arms wrapped around each other but you wished it could be forever. You finally pulled away from Soshiro's embrace when you felt like you were about to fall asleep on his shoulder.

You let out an awkward laugh as you wiped away a stray tear. "Soshiro, I... I'm sorry you had to see that. But thank you."

He was completely unbothered, it seemed, as he brought you in for one last hug. The temptation to press a chaste kiss to the top of your head was strong, but his will was stronger, opting to leave you with some final words from his heart instead.

"Don't worry about it, y/n, you know I always got your back. Nobody's got you the way I do."

[When you go dark and the night gets so cold/I'll be on my way to you/You know I ain't tryna lose you, oh, no/If you're in Hell, I'll go there too/There ain't no, no kinda line/That I wouldn't cross if you need me to/You're out here searchin' for signs/So I think it's finally time that you knew…]

"Vice Captain! The kaiju is exhibiting strange behavior! It's headed for the train stati-"

The communications line went dead.

"Operations, do you copy?"

No answer.

"This is Hoshina. Is anyone there?"

Static crackled in Soshiro's ear and he growled in frustration, fighting the urge to rip out the useless earpiece and trample it. Did they say the train station? This kaiju was being a real piece of work. Their kind is usually predictable and easy to understand, but this one just had to be unique, didn't it? Soshiro sighed, running to catch up to other members of the Third Division to regroup and strategize.

"Nakanoshima! Do we have eyes on the kaiju?"

"Yes, sir!" the pink haired woman said, "it's like Ops said, headed toward the train station. They're trying to evacuate right now."

"Right. Thanks."

This was NOT good. A kaiju, especially the honju they were dealing with, could kill a lot of people in a short amount of time and the stations was always jam packed at in the evening. Since comms were down, Soshiro figured cell service was too, but it didn't hurt to check. He pulled out his phone and glanced at the screen. Nothing. However, he had one unread message from earlier that must've come through before the signal cut out.

Y/n: That meeting was sooo boringgg :((( but my train got here earlier than expected so I'll get to the station around 5:15! When I'm back on base I'll treat you to dinner... at the dining hall lol

He felt the air leave his lungs when he spied the current time: 5:20.

Soshiro was desperately trying to do the math in his head to see if you were still at the station. The kaiju attack started 10 minutes ago, you've would've been here 5 minutes after that, but if they just began evacuations from the trains...

He hauled himself on top of the nearest building, desperately looking into the distance for an answer to quell his worries. There wasn't a train stopped in the middle of the tracks anywhere so that meant the train you were on made it to the station and was probably the one that people were currently pouring out of in a mad dash to escape from the monster headed their way. Soshiro cursed under his breath as he jumped back to the ground, now surrounded by his soldiers.

"Vice Captain! We figured out the kaiju seems to be attracted to huge groups of people, more so than usual! That's why it's going to the station!"

"Good work, Reno," replied Soshiro, his face hardening as he addressed everyone. "You guys heard him. We work together as a group, got it? Nobody goes off on their own. We have to get this thing interested in us instead of civilians."

The Third Division set off in a hurry, making their way toward the rampaging Kaiju.

Well, this was new.

As you heard the announcement about a kaiju barreling toward the train station you'd just arrived to, you thought about how you'd somehow managed to never see one up close-- until today, most likely. The screams of the passengers around you got louder as you all heard the kaiju's steps hit the ground in a frenzied state, emboldened by the prospect of a large meal, and you found yourself getting jostled in a sea of bodies as people desperately tried to escape the train and underground station. You decided to hang back for a moment, not wanting to risk getting trampled. You looked out the train window, trying to stay calm.

"Kaiju ahead! Prepare to engage!"

Soshiro, for once in his life, was nervous to fight a kaiju. When he found you, he'd have to scold you for making him worry like this.

Yes, that was a when, not an if. He will be finding you, alive. He couldn't lose you. Not today, not ever.

"Vice Captain! Yoju are headed this way!"

Soshiro followed where Kafka's finger was pointed. The little kaiju were running toward the Third Division while the honju was still dead set on terrorizing the train station.

At least some of them took the bait.

"You guys take care of the yoju. The honju is mine," snarled Soshiro, running as fast as he could.

When the train eventually cleared enough for you to make a run for it, your chance to escape the station was getting slimmer by the second. The honju's steps were making the ground shake and you could barely stay upright. You and a few other passengers were the only ones left below the surface and were now following the emergency signage, hoping the kaiju wasn't overhead. You were feeling better about the distance you had put between you and the kaiju when all of a sudden, the roof of the train station began to rumble. You knew immediately that it was about to collapse so you yelled out a warning and ran as fast as your legs could go, heading above ground. Sure enough, as soon as you got up the stairs, the pavement next to you caved in and left a huge gaping hole in the middle of the street. Along with the other passengers you made your escape with, you put your hands on your knees, panting and trying to catch your breath. You were lucky you didn't get caught up in wreckage because it was a certain death sentence, much like the kaiju licking its lips in front of you. You wanted to scream in frustration as you realized you had run right into the trap it set. Somehow the kaiju had known hordes of people would run from the station and right into the area it was using as a plate. You had to give this thing credit for its intelligence as you were at a loss of what to do next. Most of the people you had boarded the train with were dead, save for the lucky few who evacuated the station right away. You knew this because of the numerous bodies and bones strewn about around you. The only thing left of the people you ran up here with was their blood soaking the street as the kaiju dined on their corpses. You were resigned to the fact that you were about to die and you just hoped it was quick. In a blink of an eye, you were picked up in its claw, the smell of blood overtaking your senses and making you want to puke. The kaiju growled at you in a mocking manner as you were raised to its lips, its razor sharp teeth about to bite down on your head.

"No you don't, you greedy piece of shit."

Soshiro's voice rang out, echoing in the bloodied remains of the street. The kaiju roared, upset at the intrusion of his meal. The big beast threw you down in a tantrum, intending to end your life on the pavement, but a flash of purple and two seconds later, you found yourself safely on the ground with minimal injuries.

"Soshiro," you breathed out, "how did you..."

"I thought I told you," he stated firmly, but with his ever present boyish grin, "I always got you."

He then addressed the kaiju directly. "Looks like you had enough dinner, hmm?" He pulled out his swords, the light reflecting off the sharp edges as he made a glorious display of his specialty weapons. "What do you say to me giving everyone a show?"

Soshiro was in the air in an instant, engaging in the ferocious clash between beast and blade. You could only watch with awe as Soshiro's lithe movements easily evaded the clunky kaiju. At certain points, it almost seemed like he was toying with the large monster to prove the point that he was superior and you would've felt bad for the kaiju if you hadn't just watched it devour humans a few minutes ago. Soshiro then brought the battle to a close, laying the final blows, and the defeated kaiju fell to the ground.

"Are you alright?" he asked, giving you a once over as he extended a hand to help you up.

"I'm perfectly fine thanks to you. Seriously, Soshiro, you saved my life. I don't know how to thank you."

"Thank me? No need for that, it's my job to keep people safe." His voice dropped low, indicating he was about to tell you something serious. "But I knew I couldn't lose you. You mean much more to me than you could ever know. Y/n, I..." He didn't finish his sentence, afraid of telling you how he truly felt for you. It wasn't that he was afraid of rejection so much as he was afraid of the emotional vulnerability that came with telling someone you loved them. Thankfully for him, you understood perfectly what he was trying to get at.

"You always got me?" you suggested, wearing a cheeky smile.

"Yeah," he said, a mix of determination and pure love present in his features as he looked upon you. "I always got you."

[sadplaguedoctor]

grief

⤷ silco x fem!reader

summary: you’ve been taking silco’s death rather hard and found yourself doing almost anything to remember him, even if that means masturbating in his chair.

tags: solo masturbation, referenced major character death, scent kink, grief, angst, hurt no comfort, you are going slightly mad

It’s been two months. Two whole months since Silco had gone and died and left you here alone to fend for yourself— something you had gotten used to not having to do after so many years of being with him.

His office was quieter than before, and cold. So very cold. You no longer had the option of pushing yourself up next to him despite his grumbles about “distraction” and “important business”. You no longer felt his arms wrapped around your body late at night. The rise and fall of his chest was now forgotten.

Though, you were determined to keep him alive in any way you could. You slept in his bed, wore some old jewelry of his, wrapped yourself up in the clothes he had gifted you time and time again. Even sprayed yourself with his cologne— just a bit, making sure to get it mostly on his clothes that were saved for bedtime.

His pillows still faintly smelled of him. The amount of times you had turned your head to shove your nose into the fabric all while burying your fingers within yourself was lost to you.

Sometimes, you would cry. Cry because your fingers weren’t his and would never be his again. They didn’t reach the areas that he touched with so much grace, nor were they as rough. It was a reminder of the empty husk he had left you to wallow in.

“I still feel your presence,” you spoke quietly, talking to a figment of the past as you dragged your fingertips across Silco’s desk. “I still see you. In the dark, in our bed.”

There was no doubt that your sanity had been slipping ever since the incident. You would hear his voice speaking to you and guiding you throughout your day. Sometimes, you’d see him duck behind alleys or stand silently in the corner of his bedroom. You often found yourself fighting the urge to follow these hallucinations, but then with one simple blink, he disappeared.

“Jinx tells me I’m going crazy, but I see it in her eyes. She feels the same. We all do.”

It broke you to see the distant look in Jinx’s eyes when she thought no one was looking— but it hurt even more to see the rabid, pure unadulterated fury in them. Sure, you both got to see and feel different versions of Silco, but the pain of loosing him was similar. It was sorrow, it was dejection, it was rage.

But, truly, what good did crying do? It wouldn’t bring him back. No matter how many times you screamed into his pillow, begging for one little sign that he was still watching over you. You remained cold.

His chair still felt the same against your body, the softness of the plush leather stuck to your skin the same way it used to. It kept you warm during nights spent staring off into space, reminiscing on old memories you could never experience again.

Though, you were weak. You could only spend so much time inhaling his scent without becoming eager and internally frustrated.

One arm rest dug into your back as your legs draped over the other— head turned so your nose could press against the back of the chair, taking in as much of his lingering scent as you could without having to gasp for air.

Jeans pooled at your ankles and your legs shook, fingers hurriedly pumping in and out of your cunt while you wriggled and writhed on the leather.

“You were always so desperate with me. I must say, I’m quite pleased to see that spark never dulled.”

You could hear him. His voice echoed in your mind like his lips hovered by your ear, taunting you.

“Damn you,” you whispered, closing your mouth quickly after to muffle any sounds of pleasure that dared to escape you. “Damn you for leaving me.”

A jolt shot through your body and your thighs clenched tightly around your wrist, head thrown back as you choked on your own breath. Your movements were feral, unhinged and like he said, desperate. So were the tears that cascaded down your cheeks, pooling at the corners of your lips which began to part and make way for broken sobs and groans.

When you came, you kept your fingers tucked inside you— not ready to get rid of that stretch, that sensation of being full and his. Silco’s name bubbled up in your throat and died on your tongue, the taste sour and grey.

“Good girl,” he whispered once more, a light pressure pushing against your temple. You clung to that. Clung to the phantom kiss that would fuel your desires and delusions for days to come.

He was gone, you knew that. But the figure that vanished the moment you opened your eyes, promised otherwise.

Even in death, he haunted you.

i wrote this the very moment i woke up this morning and posted it an hour after. this wasn’t the first and will not be the last time i wake up to the thought of silco.

[mehiwilldoitlater]

Black Cloud, Red Fire (Part 1)

(part 2) (part 3)

Black Wind Mountain.

Once a temple in the forest, full of prayers, life, and worshippers. Now, a lair for Yougais and their master.

Everything was silent, except for the song of nature that made that place almost harmless. Untill the sound of panting, foot on the Rocky pavement, and broken leaves emerged.

"Ugh...I should have done cardio...UFF!"

The Destined One, the monkey that had convinced you to follow him, stopped on his tracks to look at his surroundings and gave you the time to catch up. He snickered a little, looking how disappointed you were after the climb on the side of the mountain. He offered you his hand, allowing you to avoid a few more steps before reaching him.

"Not a very outdoor one, uh?"

"I'm more...sitting on the couch person."

"What's a couch?"

"Something BEAUTYFULL....wow..."

You would never get used to the view here: from where our eyes could reach, there was just forest. The mountains were covered in it, and so were the few hills that appeared, giving you almost the idea that you were walking on the backs of thousands of sleeping giants. Here and there, you were able to spot the roof and the spires of small pagodes and temples.

Some prove that once these places were abitated or at least visited by humans and mortals. 

Now, the old structures were black and decaying, a sign that a fire had started so many years ago and what couldn't be saved was left to the wilderness. You both avoided those structures, finding them quite crumbling and dangerous, but nothing stopped you from admiring them.

The air was rarefied, giving you some trouble breathing and forcing you to make more deep inhales. Your companion, used to the high place of birth, had no issues at all, but he gave you the chance to rest and get used to the altitude.

"It feels so unreal... it's like a painting."

"You don't have places like these in your world?"

"Well yeah, but... not so beautiful like this one."

It was even funny to believe that such a beautiful place like this one could hold such dangers as the Yaoguais or whatever was holding the relic of the Great Sage. After another few minutes of adjusting, the two of you continue your way inside the woods, leaving behind the security of the open space.

The light was dim despite the sun high in the sky; the thick of the branches was mostly the cause of it. Walking near your companion, you started to notice how hard it would become trying to look in front of you or even notice the presence of whatever could attack you both.

"Su-sure, this place is...dark."

"Umm.. stay close, okay?"

You pick up the peace, holding tight to your snack on your back, regretting that you didn't ask for a weapon before leaving Mount Huaguo.

"Hely, listen..." You finally spoke up after a few minutes. "Are you sure that the relic is in this...very lovely and absolutely not filled with dangers?"

"Ummm...i guess?"

"YOU GUESS?!" Your voice echoed in one second through the forest; a few birds flied away, afraid of the sudden change. The monkey instantly shushed you.

"We're in enemy territory!"

"...You guess?! You don't know if it's here?!"

You were FURIOUS. Not only they started to blabber about you being some kind of being that were supposed to help them bring back an old legend, almost forcing you to participate, and now the same one that convinced you to give a try to this damn plan that could maybe bring you back home is unsire if that damn thing is in that damn forgotten place?! After that long road?! You really wanted to take that staff of his and smash it on his head! He shushed you again, trying to calm you down to avoid calling too much attention to you two.

"Okay, I know, this sounds crazy, but I can assure you that we have ideas! Firstly, there's a dangerous amount of Yaoguais in this area, and second, did you remember that funny little game that we did back at our mountain?"

"You mean me pointing my finger to a random place on a map just because I felt a tingle in my stomach?"

"Yup." Your eyes widened so much that you could feel your eyelash touch your forehead. You wanted to scream so hard that even whatever gods lived up there could hear you, but before you could, the monkey putted his hand on your mouth.

"There, there, let it all out," he said, while you were just muffling your scream on his hand. When you finally were finished and your breath was out, he removed his hand from your face, allowing you to mumble some curses under your breath.

"So we could be somewhere and find nothing?"

"Or we could be in the right place!"

You grumbled again, now more worried than before about your return to your original world. He sighed. Of course this was absurd to you; everything was, but you needed to trust him a little.

"I know it's hard, but... I believe in you. I know we're on the right path!"

"At least one of the two does..." You mumbled, kicking a rock near you, scratching your arm a little. You really wanted to believe him and in you, but to you, it was just so difficult to do it, especially since you were a complete no one...They all tell you you were some kind of powerful thing, this Bián huá, and yet you couldn't believe a single thing like this.

Looking at you, he guessed that you were still having doubts. He opened his mouth to say something when-

"On the go, bent the toe,

Life of a human, all for gold."

A voice, not far from you both, could be heard from your position. Someone was coming! The monkey looked at you, and a mischievous grin appeared on his face.

"Go and hide in the bush! I'll show you what I can do!"

You fastly follow his instructions, hiding behind some bushes on your right, while the voices get closer and closer. The monkey suddenly vanished under a cloud, only to be replaced with a ripe peach! What's he doing now? On the clearing, just when the smoke disappeared, appeared two... wolves?

They were walking on their two back legs, and like humans, they were wearing some clothes and holding their furr on their heads like some human hairstyles. The both of them were holding a sword; maybe they were scouting the area for some food? You didn't know, but you were sure worried for your monkey! 

"Nowhere better than our home,

We cheat death and ever grow."

One of the two, the one that had his sword already drawn, noticed the fake peach on the ground, emitting a sound of surprise and showing a huge grin on his maw, and immediately went to take it in his paw.

"Here, you see? What bliss my fate shows!" How the hell that big dog was talking?!

"Well well! Luck's around the corner. Seems like it just fell from a fruit tree here." Said the other wolf, looking around in the search for the tree. You really hoped he didn't see you or smell you!

"Perfect timing! This peach knew I needed a snack!" And, after having cleaned it a little from the dust and played with it in his hand, the wolf took a huge bite on the fruit without a second guessing. In that moment, a cry of pain escaped from him, and he threw away the peach, alongside a few of his own teeth and some fur that the monkey must have pulled with it. Once on the ground, after a few jumps, the same smoke from before reappeared, and the fruit turned back to his simian original form.

"You sneaky rascal!" said the wounded wolf. "Dare to fool me?! I'll make sure you'll regret it!"

Before the two wolves could launch their attacks on the monkey, he had already drawn his own weapon from his ear and charged towards the two. You had seen him fight before, and it was always a show that left you in a haze. Violence wasn't a nice view, but his moves, his precision, his strength—it was surely something!

In a few minutes, the two wolves were already defeated and turned to dust, and you reemerged from your hiding spot.

"Wow...that's what you could only say.

"See? told you I could protect you."

"Well, you surely could... but the transformation was really necessary?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by someone.

"No matter how many times you come around. You are still as mischievous as ever, eh?"

An old voice suddenly started to be heard. It was an old one, cranky, and somehow friendly. The both of you started to look around, only to find only trees, rocks, and falling leaves. The monkey immediately came closer to you, looking around and sniffing, but beside the smell of the two wolves, there was nothing—just nature.

"Did...you hear that?" 

"Yer," he said, guarding you.

"Good! I'm not crazy then!"

"And there's the Bián huá! All of you, always doubting your own security!"

You gulped loudly; he could hear you?! But that means he's near?! Then why even the monkey couldn't spot this mysterious old man?!

"Looks... looks like someone is watching us..."

"Um..." he looked at you, noticing your now frightening look, your eyes searching for the source of the voice. He held your hand in his own, gently giving you a small pull. "Came one. I'm sure that we'll find who's talking up ahead."

And so, the two of you started to take the road from where the two wolves had come from, realizing then that, if there was something, it was supposed to be there for sure. The more you started to clumb the path of the mountain, more enemies started to come. They were all wolves, and all of them were supposed to be the front guard of this mysterious place that, for some reason, started to make you feel... uneasy. 

You couldn't put your hands on it, but it reminded you of the strange feeling in your stomach, yeah, the map one. Only that, this time, became stronger and stronger the more you two explored the mountain.

After another turn, the smell of incense reached both of you, and a small smoke caught your attention. Two fires were located at the sides of a small structure, a house in miniature. The closer you get, the more it becomes clear that it was a small shrine, far more detailed and more decorated than the one that you saw on Mount Huaguo. Suddenly, just like before, the same old voice started to ring again around you two.

"Aaah! Wha-what are you waiting for?! Pluck your hair and make an offer!"

You looked at the monkey, raising an eyebrow.

"...Uh...my hair?"

"There." He showed you that, after taking a few hairs from his head, their form changed into a thin and long incense stick that he lit with a few movements of his hand.

"See?"

"I can't do that. Mine is normal hair."

"Ooo, stop making silly excuses! Try it on!"

"Okay okay okay! Geez, I can't believe that I'm listening to a mysterious voice."

You imitated the same motion of the monkey, and, after a small glow, in your hand there was the same incense stick!

"But... did I do that?!"

"See? Always questioning! Now hurry up! Both of you!"

You both put the incense stick inside the small pot full of sand, and, as one surprise wasn't enough, another magic happened in front of you: the decoration of the shrine started to grow like branches, and, in a swirl of petals, pink peach flowers started to bloom under your eyes.

"It's...normal?"

"In some places, yes..."

"...So,...what now?" The monkey shrugged off at your question and made a few steps ahead. Before you could follow, the voice called upon you two once again.

"Hey! Wait!"

A smoke, just like the one that has been summoned by your monkey companion when he transformed, appeared again, but this time in front of you there was what reminded you of an old potato.

He was what you could imagine to be the personification of the concept of old. His legs and arms were so thin that it was strange that he could even move; his bald head, covered in some strange bumps similar to some roots, was covered in wrinkles and some spots here and there; and the white hairs that happened to be his eyebrows and beard covered his facial features that made it hard to see his eyes and mouth.

His robes, tinted in a deep blue, seemed quite elegant, despite their age. His weight was supported by an old wooden staff, curved to the end, and in his other hand a small stick. Does it remind you of a back scratcher?

"I, the keeper of Black Wind Mountain," he said while coughing, cleaning his clothes from the dust. "I have long been waiting for your arrival."

That old voice—he was the one that spoke to you before in the clearing! That old, small thing was the keeper of this mountain?! 

"Let's see... the new Bián huá, eh? Well, you seem in good health," he said while pointing your side with his scratchback. "It will compensate for the lack of faith."

"Hey!" you ward off the wooden object while his continuous touch started to bother you.

"And she has some character on her, a good starting point..and you..." His eyes fell on the monkey, the destiny one. For a moment you feared that he could fall on his old and be ready to crash back, but he regained his stability in a few steps.

"Oh! His spitting image...I'd say."

Of who? You looked at the monkey, and he seemed almost proud? Was the keeper talking about... Sun Wukong? Well, all monkeys looked the same to you, so maybe it was the old age that talked...

"You were waiting for...him?" You pointed at the monkey; the old man just laughed a little at your naiveté.

"Child, I was waiting for both of you! For the Destined one and the Bián huá!" He walked over you two, pointing at the passage that extended ahead of you, between the rocks and the trees.

"Up ahead is Guanyin Temple. Once, it was bustling with worshippers before it was ruined by that fire."

His tone, before proud of the past of the place, became grave when he pointed at the proof of the tragedy that had happened there: skulls, human skulls. Come to think of it, those weren't the first you saw in the area... How many people had died there?

"What...fire?"

"You said you heard of the story, right?" The monkey said, recognizing what the old man was talking about, "You remember about the Elder Jinchi and the Kasaya?"

You pondered a little. You weren't that costumed about it, but you know that, perhaps, that was the cause of the fire.

"Yes, children..." said the keeper, pointing up ahead. "Then the temple was rebuilt." He suddenly turned to you, expressing a questioned and angry tone, "But what good is it to rebuild a temple if the good will of men has been burned to ashes?"

You kneeled near one of the skulls. It was so...small...the fear of the age of the one that once was in front of you struck you.

"But...it was rebuilt...then why the Yaoguais are here?" The monkey spoke, looking at the old man, still curious about the whereabouts of the temple.

"Monks came, men too, and they tried to rebuild life here! But that bear...he led his minions here!....Who couldn't escape had faced a bitter end."

"But...you're the keeper of this place...the deity of the mountain..." you finally spoke, following the step of the monkey. "You could take care of them, right? There as to be some way to fix this place!"

"I would! But that damn bear...he had brought something so powerful that even I couldn't match!"

Something that he couldn't match?... The eyes of the monkey gleamed, looking up at the mountain.

"The relic...it must be the relic!" He turned to you, ejoyed by this news: "You were right! You foudn it!"

"I...found it?" You repeated, "I... did! I did! ...oh...."

You soon realized what that meant, and suddenly, another sound emerged from the dark. A long, strong, and eerie howl of something that scared even the keeper and manmy birds that had already flied away from their previous location.

"You forgot this place," said the keeper, retreating away from the passage, "but they haven't forgotten you!"

You stod in your position, scavared by the sudden change of atmosphere, while the monkey observed the passage with caution, expecting everything to appear from it at any given moment. The old man, like he had appeared, disappeared in the cloud of smoke.

"That's a tough one. Good luck to you!"

And these were his last words, before you and your companion were left alone again. More than before, you felt an amount of emotion that you couldn't describe, but when you looked at the road where you came from, some doubts arose in you. The monkey noticed your fear, and he waited for your reaction.

Despite the desire to run, you simply couldn't. You stayed there, eyeing the entrance and your only way out. When you finally turned to the entrance, where you sure didn't want to go, you gulped.

"There's no turning back from there...right?" The monkey sighed; he wanted to tell you that you could just turn back and that he could handle it, but he couldn't say that; he knew that it was a lie.

This was supposed to be made in two.

"If you don't trust in yourself... then trust in me... trust in my ability."

He lends his hand towards you... and, with fear, doubt, and so many regrets, you take it, slowly entering the passage alongside him.

///

From that moment on, the forest became full of wolves. It was hard to advance without encountering a new enemy, and every time your companion never showed a moment of stress or panic, he only charged, attacking those enemies without trace of fear. Your only option, by your side, was to stand back, hide, or just... watch. You couldn't do more...even if, isnide, it made you quite nervous.

"Don't you get tired?"

"No, I've been doing this since I was a cup!"

"I wish I could help more." You scratched your arm again; it must have been a sign that showed your stress he had noticed. He just packed your back, swinging his tail.

"If you like, I can teach you a few tricks! Once we're back home with the relic, we'll have plenty of time!"

"You...would?" It felt nice. He didn't show off your anxiety about your role in that mission; instead, he just wanted to help you get confidence by taking some steps ahead. It was a nice gesture, even if you were quite unsure about if it could really help you.

"Of course!" he laughed. "We're both in this!"

You nodded. It was true; you were both in that.

The sound of the water became of a falling one, a sign that the river nearby became a waterfall. You were walking by it, searching for a few herbs, when you both became interested in taking and collecting when you heard something else. Another voice; it wasn't from the keeper, of course, but it wasn't like the ones from the wolves either. To be fair, there were no wolves now that your companion had cleaned the area.

When the sound of the waterfall became stronger, that's when you noticed.

"Monkey! Look over there!" You finger pointed towards a figure. Curved on her back, her white, messy hair spiked the most on het dark attire. The clothes were old and raggy, and by the jiggle he was wearing some wooden jewels. The long and thin hair and his colorful muse give away immediately her species. Your companion suddenly came closer, looking where your finger was pointing, noticing the creature.

"A Mandrill! There near the edge of the waterfall!" You kept saying. You didn't know what she was doing; it seemed like she was searching for something or trying to collect it from a stone, quite big, that rested in the center of the stream. The low level of the water allowed the rock to be accessible to the mandrill, but she seemed like whatever she was trying to rescue was stuck or simply unavaible.

The baboon must have heard your voice, and suddenly she stopped his doing with the rock, spinning away from it. You gasped when you saw her launch herself to the cliff, moving forward. But when you reached the same edge, you saw nothing there.

"She should be at least around..."

"I don't think that was a simple Mandrill, Y/N." The monkey that had reached your side was in time to take you and pull you back from the edge, fearing a fall.

"Was she your friend? Do you know her?"

"I never saw her in my entire life. Hey, hold on!" He looked at you, his hand on his hips. "It's not like we monkey know each and every one of us!"

"Well," you keep it up, mimicking his gesture, "you called each other brother and sister! And meeting a familiar face wouldn't be so bad here!"

He chuckled, giving you a small push. Then, both of your eyes landed on the rock that the baboon was inspecting, and curiosity took over.

"What do you think she was doing?"

"Well, let's take a look!" He went closer to the rock, and there you both realized that it wasn't completely a rock. It was a head—a big rocky head—maybe one of a statue that once must have been a decoration of the long-lost temple. The expression of the man that was depicted was calm and relaxed, his earlobe long; maybe a Buddha? The monkey started to clean the area and noticed some scratching at the base of one of the closed eyes of the statue. It seemed like he was trying to make a hole in it...

"Maybe there's a switch or-" And just when your hand touched the statue, suddenly its eyes wide opened. One of the two cavities of pure stone, but the one where the Mandrill was scratching was hollow and contained something. A sphere, pure white, the only color a red must at the center, discolored by the time. It wasn't smooth at all, but at the touch it was perceptible—some spirals, decotrating the orb.

"...What is it?" You asked curious, tapping the orb with your finger.

"I don't know... but it seems important; let's keep it!" And so, the orb soon vanished inside his own sack.

"You surely are one that loves to collect staff around, eh?"

"Well, if something is useful..."

You chukled a little, leaving the stream at your back. Keep it up with your ascension on the mountain. It didn't take long that now you would face another obstacle, and oooh boy, what an obstacle!

Guarding the gate, a huge Yaoguais was holding a huge Helberd, moving back and forward, ready to strike whoever crossed his path, or it was unlucky enough to meet it. It reminded you of some kind of bull, but he was pretty messed up to be one... The thing that really concerned you was the fact that he was practically in front of the gate; it was impossible to miss without a fight. Hiding behind a tree, you looked at your companion, who, without if or but, just took his own staff, ready to get in action.

"Stay here; be careful not to be spotted and to run."

"Run?"

"Just in case, wish me luck!" and so he marched towards the bull that, as soon as he had spotted him, he followed his example.

The two started to clash their weapons immediately, and you could clearly see that the monkey had the advantage of his small stature and his agility. He avoided all of his attacks in a few steps, which made the bull upset and more aggressive. And the guai had one more thing in his arsenal: he was scarily strong. Despite his massive stricture, the guai was able to make some huge jumps, creating such waves in his impact that the monkey needed to be careful around to avoid falling down and became an easy prey.

Unfortunely, the monkey made a misstep: in the attempt of blocking the helberd, the bull struck with full force, catching the opponent like a rag doll, and, after a good spin to get velocity, slammed him on the ground. He rose his helberd, ready to stride.

"NO!"

You screamed, leaving the tree where you were hiding, but before something could happen, a golden aura wrapped around the bull and, just before his last strike over the monkey could be delivered, his entire body stopped. It wasn't just stopped because he had stopped the attack, but because his entire body was like frozen!

You immediately went to the monkey side, checking the damage from the last strike. He was incredibly untouched; the helbard must have struck him in the side where there was no blade and just acting as a hammer. His body may be fine, but he had felt that.

"Oh God, oh God, are you okay?!"

"Ugh...It...hurt!"

Maybe not lethal but a bruise really was surely ready to appear there. You grasped his gourd, helping take a sip of that strange magic juice that the old monkey entrusted you both to take in case of these kinds of damages. After a gulp, the monkey lamented the savor of the concuun, but he was fine at least!

"The bull?!" He looked at you, ready to defend you.

"Ehm ..."

You pointed at his opponent, Frozen in One Place. Then you heard some ruffles, some paint of fatigue, and...the keeper?!

Somehow, he had started to climb the bull back and, once reached its shoulder, he took a jump from it, falling on his two sticked legs. 

"It's been a while, but the Immobilize Spell still works like a charm!" He laiughed, clearly satisfied and somehow proud to show you both some of his own ability. You, on the other hand, were more interested in helping the monkey get back on his feet, preoccupied with finding more damages from the foe. Lucky for you, the juice was able to cure all of his wounds, even if the hurt of the strike still lingered.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes...huff, he almost got me..." He looked at the now immobilized bull, still ready to send his last strike on him. "A trick like this could be very useful around here."

"Well, since you hail from Mount Huaguo, it won't hurt to teach you a handy trick."

The monkey looked at him, still recovering from the fall, when the old man started to move his wooden hand around. It started to emit a soft light and some sparkle.

"Now, here we go; give me your hand!" And, without wait or but, the same small wand emitted a light that struck towards the monkey. You companion, fearing for another attack, immediately covered his face with his hand, but instead of pain, he felt... nothing?

Not nothing; he felt the same sensation when you pour warm water on your arm—harmless and somehow nice. He felt the sensation rise to his arm, to his shoulder, and then disappear, leaving only a sigyl on the palm of the same hand. You both noticed that it was the same symbol above the bull head.

"There you go, "continued the old man, while the two of you were observing the sign, in a mix of surprise and curiosity. "Should you come across any miscreants, just point your finger at them and release this spell. You'll be able to hold them in place while giving yourself a breather."

The monkey studied more his hand, carefully seeing the sign slowly disappearing on his skin, while you looked at the old man with a gleam of hope.

"It's going to come in handy around here!" said the monkey, his confident smirk coming back on his face.

"It would be so helpful if I could learn something like this too." 

"My child," said the old man, chukling at your naivety. "In this world, muscles and brute force are not the only weapons that you can possess!" And, knowing who you are, a spell like this is a joke for you!"

"I...can learn it too?" You looked at the bull, and, in a rush of courage, you took some steps in front of it.

You waved your hand in front of it and, noticing that it was pretty much impossible for it to move, you laughed, running back to your companion, who instintly put you behind him, like ready to defend you if that thing was ready to move again.

"It's amazing!" you said in joy. "With this trick, we can avoid so many fights!"

"Y/n," the monkey said to you, disconsolate," we can't just avoid every fight we have in front of us."

"He's not right, child," the old man sighed. "Sadly, mine is but an humble trick. Its power will wear off within a few short moments."

"Moments?!" you gulped, jumping back. "And when were you expecting to tell us that?!"

"I told you that it's not that simple!" Monkey came back to his fighting stance, while you took a step back, taking more distance from the upcoming fight.

"Ah ah, yes, yes, I know, not a great spell; thought it's good enough against boneheads like this one!" He pointed again to the bull with a teasing tone. "Anyway, just consider it an ace up your sleeve."

As soon as he finished his speech, the blow that was stopped suddenly crashed to the ground; the golden aura had dissipated from the bull, and it was angry.

The keeper was able to retreat from the scene, clearly shaken by the sudden release of the bull that now pointed to the monkey and you furious.

"The Yaoguais these days know no manners!"

"Y/n! Stand back!" His immediate thought came to your own safety; now the bull had seen you, and every chance could be good for it to attack you!

"FEAR NOT! "screamed the keeper to you and the monkey, "Teach him a lesson with your new spell!"

As soon as the old man had disappeared, the bull went on the offensive, more aggressive than he was before. You had to retreat as best as you could to avoid the fight and to be spotted by the giant creature. He needed more minutes to adjust to this new technique, but just when the bull tried to play the same trick from before, the monkey was ready and used the spell against it. 

It stopped! It was completely immobile! You gasped for the excitement, and, after the monkey had gifted you a small wink like to tell you to watch, he suddenly launched himself to his counterattack.

The bull was free after a few moves, but it was more shaken than before and pretty much hurt. He needed another good strike, but after that the monkey was able to put down his opponent and, just like the others, disappeared in a cloud of dust.

"You did it!" YOU DID IT! YOU USED THE SPELL!"

You jumped to him in joy; he freed the passage! And now he learned a new trick! He was just amazing!

He patted your shoulder, laughing a little like you, with a soft shade of red on his cheeks. "Yes, yes, I did it! But it's not over yet!"

He pointed to the now-opened passage—the road ahead of you.

///

"If it wasn't for the wolves ready to kill us, I would love to take a picnic here."

"Pic nic?"

"When you bring lunch outside and eat in the wild. I used to do it a lot when I went on the mountain to my grandparents during the summer."

Monkey seemed always interested in knowing your past; it seemed like, despite all, you had an almost normal childhood...noyt like its own...always training, always giving his best...well, he loved to make some pranks here and there, but the others had always considered him the responsible one of the bunch.

While walking, your attention was taken by an unusual sight: it must have been a balcony in the past; now what was left was only the old decoration of the door, the structure to the outside, and the wood that composed the floor. Two small pillars, decorated with two figures of what presumebly was Guanyin, were on the sides of a cushion and, in front of it, an incense holder.

"Someone use this place..."

"It must be a meditation point, to meditate...a great spot, even..."

You looked to the monkey; why so? It was in the middle of nowhere. By his looks, lost in the horizon, you followed his example. It was quite beautiful and calming. He then decided to take a place in the cuschion and ask you to follow him.

"Came on! It helps the mind!"

"I'll just watch. I'm not good alone with my thought."

"As you wish..."

His eyes closed, his face relaxed, like every muscle of his body. He seemed like a statue in that pose, and by how quickly he was able to communicate, or he needed a lot, or he just was used to that practice. You, instead, decide to sit at the edge of the structure, sighing and admiring the view.

He was right; it wasn't just beautiful; it was calming. You closed your eyes, letting the mountain breeze caress your cheeks and air, allowing it to enter your nostrils and your lungs.

You could hear so many things like that—the creaking of the wood, the howling of a few wolves in the distance, the leaves that moved in the branch—since when these sounds were so hard to listen to in your world?

In the distance, mountains could be seen, and, not far from your spot, structures that maybe once were habitated by humans and monks. Knowing that such a desolation happened in that place, yet nature decided to reclaim that portion of the world, taking back what had been taken away.

You sighed again, more air in your lungs...then a hand shaken you.

"Don't do this on the edge, at least! You can take a place near me!"

"You gave me a heart attack!"

"And how was I supposed to feel when I saw you there, ready to fall?!"

"Okay, I'm sorry! I'll do it with you next time!"

He seemed pleased; at least he wasn't obligated to catch you from a dead fall on a cliff!

"You were right. It's beautiful... Yaoguais aside."

"Yes, I don't know what's going to happen after we take the relic back from the Black Bear, but maybe things are going to get better."

"I just..." you scratched your arm. "I just hope the monks that died here can find a piece."

The image of that skull was still fresh in your mind. It scared you, yes, but it was most definitely sad. They must have been so scared alone. He looked at you with fondness; your thoughts decided to go to the ones that had suffered. You must have had quite a big heart. He took your hand, smiling.

"They'll be glad to know that we're taking care of this...now..." he pointed at two fires, both of the at the sides of a passage, an opening on the rocky walls of the mountain. "We must go. There's still a long road for us."

You nodded, and so you went back to your journey.

///

"We had to pass..."

"There are like...a LOT of wolves there, and I have a really bad feeling!"

"But we can't just stop here!"

"Well, we can't surely move forward like this?!"

Since he had made it clear that there was more enemy ahead, the two of you started to discuss what to do, but it seems like it was harder than you both thought. He sensed a lot of enemies ahead, and if he had to make a safe road, protecting you wasn't easy. You wanted to search a safe path, but there wasn't something like this right there, and he wanted to march in and take care of the problems right there.

"Listen, I'm going in."

"Monkey, please let's just-"

"Hey! Wait! You don't think you can just parade in, do you?! It's not that simple!"

As again, the old man had decided to appear and gave some help to the two of you. You gave a sigh of relief. Finally, that could actually listen to you!

"Finally! I was trying to tell him! We must take another path!"

"Dear one, there's no other path here!"

"Ah, ah!" the monkey smuggled on your face. "See? No path! ...So, any other suggestion, old keeper?"

"But of course I do! Let me transform you into a golden cicada, so you may follow the fires ahead and scout this mountain unnoticed."

He pointed to a series of fires that started to streech across the forest, a way to move across the darkness of the trees, especially during cloudy days or the night. With the same movements of his wand, the old man created the same light from the last time and, once again, struck the poor monkey.

"Wait wait! I can do it by my"

"FLY!"

"SELF!"

Like before, the poor monkey was completely helpless against the magic of the so helpful keeper, and instead of the young, bold monkey, now there was a small insect, with golden shades, flying around. The old man laughed, looking how confused the small cicada was trying to recall his surroundings. Now, there was this little inconvenience...

"But..." you pointed to your still humanoid body. "What about me?"

"Umm...a cicada is hard. You need a lot of control to move so many little arms and legs. Let's see. Let's see. Something simple, something helpless, something...ah!"

"Wait! Let me at least prepare my-"

Without a warning, you were the second victim of the Keeper magic, but you weren't what you were expecting. You looked at your now fluffy paw, a small cottontail, and very long ears.

"A rabbit?! Why can't I fly too?!"

"It's harder than it looks, child! Now, it might be humble, but my shrine is very versatile. You'll get it soon enough."

And, with these words, the Keeper disappeared in another cloud of smoke, leaving the cicada and the bunny alone.

"It's not fair. I wanted to fly too!"

"If it makes you feel better," said the cicada in a very pinch-high voice, "you look fluffiest than ever."

You two laughed a little before hearing for the last time the old Keeper.

"In the depths of Black Winf Mounain, there are secrets galore. These transformations may help you explore, but be wary; this form does not last forever."

"What do we do if we get lost?"

"Should you find yourself lost, just follow my voice. Now, off you go!"

You two looked at each other and, uncertain, started to move.

He had it easier; he could just fly around without getting spotted! You needed to act as natural as possible! Somehow, the wolves seemed more interested in cooking the ones that they already had than huunting you, so you were able to move around, alongside other bunnies and racoons, without fear of being taken.

When the two of you had the impossibilities to avoid the wolves, you were able to listen to them talk. It seemed that your presence in the mountain has been spotted, but they weren't sure of where you were or what your real intention was. As much as they knew, they only knew about a shapeshifter and a mortal alongside him. They also talked about a certain lord... maybe an affiliate of the bear?

Well, at least like that, you could avoid so many troubles... Somehow, you felt a little more safe in the shape of such a helpless animal. You both kept on going, following the fire as instructed, finding the way easier that you expected to find.

"Look! I can see the end of the trail of fire, Y/N!" The small voice of the monkey called you out from the bushes, pointing with his antennea at what was supposed to be the less populated area.

"Finally, being a bunny is... not... so."

You felt something inside you. You felt...a calling. 

You turned around; there was another of those old porches, one that the fire had only ruined but not destroyed. You looked in that direction, and you were sure it came from there.

"We just need to cross; we're so...Y/N?"

You weren't anymore near the bushes, so he got closer and started to roam the small area.

"Y/n? Y/N?!" He called, louder this time and much more worried. He couldn't see you. Where did you go?! Why did you leave all of a sudden?!

You couldn't hear his call; there was something else that held your attention. It was the same pull in your chest that called you towards the relic, but it was...different. It felt like stagnant water, a mix of smells that you couldn't quite get. 

It was a large clearing; the wall of the mountain and a cliff, secured with a parapet, gave them a natural circular shape. Besides trees and plants, fog covered the area, hiding a wooden structure in the same area. You couldn't put your hand on it, but something was there—something big and round. You jumped closer, not noticing the aura of fiery eyes looking at your every movement. Before you could get closer, a large pressure came to your delicate neck; a hand with a sharp claw had you now in his clutches. 

"Well, well... and what do we have here?

Avoiding screaming helped you to keep your bunny form, but you couldn't hold a gasp when you saw the wolverine creature that was holding you by your neck. Now you were in big trouble!

The wolf was different from the other; he seemed older and calmer. His robe reminded you of one of a monk, but it was so old and lacerated. His old mansion was so ruined, almost burnt here and there. Despite his strength, his claw gently held you and took you in his arm, holding you in place. You felt his rough fingers scratching your head, confusing you more than before.

"It's not a safe place for a small one like you. Humans and wolves love eating your flesh. I used to eat your kind when I was younger; now I can only remember the hunt."

Oh, so he didn't eat bunnies? He could have eaten humans, though.

Besides him, a long staff was stuck into the ground, a double blade to each end. You noticed now that the blade was strange in certain places; it seemed like it had burned. Now, in his arms, you could see clearly what was holding the structure: a bell, a giant bell made of iron.

It was simple, besides the decorations, like many other bells around... then why you seemed to be pulled by it.

You jumped from the wolf arms, sniffing and getting closer to the giant metal object.

"I never saw bunnies interested in bell... I suppose to guard it...but you don't look like a treat."

Well, not now at least.

You made another jump, much closer; now your small paw was able to reach the bell when, in your head, his sound started to echo so hard that it was painful.

Your body couldn't handle it, so you scream, holding your small rodent head in those paws, scaring the wolf, and, with any chance to control it, the pain forced you to release your true form.

You were still holding your head when you noticed the wolf, now holding his weapon.

"You... you tried to trick me, human?!" You gulped and tried to get back, finding yourself stuck between the wolf and the bell.

"I-i didn't-" Then, a sound or rustling and footstep caught your and the wolf's attention.

"Who goes there?! How dare you interrupt my meditation?"

And so, the face of a very worried monkey appeared from the fog and the shadow, looking at you with apprehension by your vicinity with the Yaoguai. The wolf looked at him, and a small smile came to his face, far more sinister than the one that he had shown you before.

"Hmmm...another monkey I see?" He asked, almost happy to see him. The blade in his hand started to change; it became red like it was on fire. Hold on, IT WAS ON FIRE!

"Why don't you lay down your weapon and join me in Buddha's mercy?" His weapon had made a few swifts on the ground; the dead leaves, the herbs, and whatever that thing was touching suddenly started a small fire, separing you from your companion.

"What say you?!"

He needed to connect; the wolf was already on his tail when he marched on! He needed to get you out of there before the fire could reach you; luckyly, you took cover behind the giant bell! Maybe he had time; he just needed to calm him down before it was too late!

That wolf was old, but he was a formidable foe! His swing was like he had never seen anyone do it, and every strike was precise and destructive. It was just like a fire; you couldn't control it; you could just watch and hope it doesn't destroy more.

But he needed to fight that fire!

He used the spell that the keeper had taught him and started again to attack his opponent. Sometimes, out of the blue, the wolf was able to persome formidabvòe aerial attacks, where even the monkey found trouble defending himself. Sometimes he was even able to rush like he could fly, and the fire just made him stronger.

Fighting him wasn't easy, but with the help of the spell and the fact that his own technique didn't need too much energy to be imposed, the monkey was soon the victorious one of the duels.

The wolf fell on the ground, covered in bruises and blood; his fur was now more burned than before. His eyes cast between you, now free to move while the monkey was killing the fire, and his opponent.

"You..." His voice was in pain, the last stray of strength only to talk, "Master spoke of you."

And while he started to disappear, three last words came from his mouth.

"The Destined...one..."

Peace came back in the clearing. 

You looked at where the wolf had disappeared, asking yourself how much his master knew about you two, about what happened there, and..the hand of the monkey slapped your head.

"Don't run off like that again!"

"Ouch! It wasn't my fault!"

"Yeah! Some strange magic led you here?!"

"..."

"...Seriously?"

You sighed; of course it was crazy, but it was true! Something called you here to do...something!

"I'm sorry...it just...something is strange... I don't know what's happening in me."

The monkey looked at your face. You were so concentrated, your hand caressing the carving of the metal face of the giant object. He wasn't used to bell like this; his own hand caressed the wooden trunk made to play the instrument.

"...Monkey?" He looked at you and said, "We should play it."

"No way! They'll spot us!"

"We're already on everyone's agenda! Please! I... I need it." You please.

He sighed, ready to regret every moment of this. He needed just a swing of the trunk when the sound of the bell started to resonate on the entire aura—on the mountain itself.

Then something else happened. Everything got dark; it was a forest, like the one you and your companion were planting—a child—he was alone. Many people were dying there; something had to hunt them down!

No! You must run! The bear! The bear is... giving him... jewels?

The sun rises, the monastery...

When you woke up from the trance, the monkey had to catch you before falling from the scaffold of the bell.

"Y/n! What's happening?! Are you okay?!"

You just moved your head, confused, scared...was that a vision? It was an old memory? The stagnant water now was moving; a rotting smell came to you.

"You just had to make some noise, did you?!" The voice of the Keeper came back again. He seemed stressed; the sound had scared some birds too. "Now everyone knows you're here! When a chime so grand echoes in the forest, Yaoguais will surely be alarmed!"

He was right; the monkey was able to sense the hair change now. The road was getting just more difficult...

"I'm sorry. I asked him to do it."

"Child, why asking for such a thing?!"

"....I....i'm sorry..."

The monkey couldn't stay angry with such a hurt expression in front of him...but why do you need it? And what did you see? Holding you in his arms, he started to head back to the road.

@sun-jglim @crimsonflameproxy @everlastingmoonlightsworld

@miraclecherryblossomsblog @certifiedsimpinggalore @sleepingdramaqueen @cromboloni @masksandfeathers

@cinnamonroll-anon @justrandomlypassing @cute-angi @luckyangelballoon @dressycobra7

@naarra @virtualexpertanchor @phoenixeclipse-lmkau @szynkaaa @kirax-the-lazy-girl

@sleepydang @weaverworks @kishimiest @marcu-bug @thepoweroffiction

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@cleverfeststarlight @anfie01 @tunadunanana @jeminiikrystal @jssy96

@ladydoe8 @universallyweaselwobblermuffin @redtailedkitsune @rovobeam

[casuallyawkardd]

In His Vice

Pairing: Dark!Miguel O'Hara x Wife!Reader

Summary: Something seems different this time when Miguel comes home late

Warnings: non-con in terms of pretending to be someone else, lowkey gaslighting, me attempting to write suspense, not fluent in Spanish so correct me if I mess up

A/N: I made the executive decision to write this fic in a first person perspective because I feel like that adds to the horror aspect so don't come for me. If you enjoy, be sure to join the taglist! Dividers by cafekitsune

I could hear the wind outside, whistling as it shook the trees and bushes. When the weather woman had said there would be a storm tonight, I hadn't expected it to be this bad. Lightning could be seen in the distance, the sound of thunder following after. It took a second more this time, hopefully meaning the storm was going to pass quickly. The television had become background noise, my attention focused on the window as I watched the rain streak down the glass.

Today had been one of those days, the kind where I couldn't wait for it to be over. I had woken up on the wrong side of the bed, a recurring nightmare waking me at three in the morning; its contents making it difficult to fall back asleep, so I inevitably decided to start the day early. Coffee and an aspirin did little to help the headache I'd been developing over the last few days, deadlines at work materializing the throbbing just behind my eyes.

Miguel had seemed to take notice of my struggles, taking over breakfast duty and getting Gabriela ready for school. The feeling of his kiss still lingered on my temple, my fingers now massaging the spot absentmindedly.

"I'm gonna be a little late tonight," he told me, gently prying the emptied mug from my hands and taking it to the sink with the other dishes.

"But what about Gaby's soccer game?" I asked, the look of remorse on his face telling me he had forgotten. "Honey, this is the one that determines if they qualify for the championship. It's a big deal for her."

"I know, mi corazón," he soothed, but I pulled away from his touch. Quiet fell over the kitchen then, Gaby's happy giggles heard from the room over. "Y/N, look at me," he said and I reluctantly turned. Soft brown eyes looked back at me, the hand rubbing my back reassuring. "You know work's been hell lately, my boss really wants me to finish this project. After that, I promise I'll make it up to you and Gaby." That's what he always said. "I know things have been.. tense between us lately, but-"

"Let's not talk about this right now," I interrupted him, hiding the pang in my chest when a look of defeat crossed his features. I had every right to be mad at him. This wasn't the first time he had forgotten. It wasn't just about this soccer game, it was about every forgotten soccer game, birthday party and date night before. Was I happy my husband had gotten the promotion he rightly deserved? Of course, but had I known just how much his job would take away from our family, I would have suggested he negotiate terms.

Which was why I held my tongue as he and Gaby left the house. In hindsight, I could've been kinder to Miguel. Could have turned my head as he leaned in for a kiss, said 'I love you' when he whispered the same phrase in my ear. With no way to turn back time, I figured I could redeem myself tomorrow. He was always quick to forgive.

The rest of the day was as mundane as any, the stress from the deadline had seeped into my very being, becoming familiar as I submitted my final drafts. Then I was left with nothing, returning to the start of the vicious cycle that came with the job. At least I got to clock out early, meaning I had time to spend with Gaby.

She was a bundle of excitement, squealing when she saw I had come to pick her up early from preschool. Relatives always told me she'd grow up fast; I found that to be true. Expected to start kindergarten next year and she was already being mistaken for a second grader. Her father's doing most likely, maybe she'd end up being as tall as him someday. Sharp as a whip too, but that trait I always said came from me.

We decided on a mommy-daughter date at a nearby cafe, one I knew Gaby would like. The owner's cat loved to brush against her legs, mewling until I told her it was alright to give him a dollop of whipped cream. Keep her happy until she saw her papi wasn't at her game. She was disappointed, the bounce in her step fading when she came up to me afterwards, frowning in confusion.

"Papi?"

"Not today, sweetheart," I offered her a sympathetic smile, "work needed his help very badly. You understand, yeah?"

Gaby nodded, but I knew my daughter well enough to know she was still bothered, "I wanted to show Papi that I used the move he showed me."

"Well you can show him after dinner, right?" The idea seemed to help perk her up, the two of us walking hand in hand back to the car to head home.

Only Miguel didn't make it home for dinner. Odd but not uncommon, unfortunately. It wasn't until it neared Gabriela's bedtime that I felt something was wrong. He's always home in time to put her to bed. A nagging feeling started in the back of my mind. He wasn't answering his cell either, going to voicemail instantly. After promising Gaby that I'd send him in to kiss her goodnight later, she finally settled and I took my post on the couch. Which is where I've been up until now.

A quick glance at my phone told me it was nearing one in the morning, that nagging feeling became something more. Something that dug into my gut and constricted my chest. The amount of missed calls he had was probably bordering on the edge of warranted worry and psychotic spouse. The thought of calling the police made my fingers itch, but I abstained. Miguel's a big guy, he can take care of himself...right? I winced as my teeth bit into the skin around my fingernails, pulling my hand away to assess the damage. It was a nervous habit I couldn't seem to shake, the cuticles an ugly red from irritation.

Then came the sound of a click, followed by the ominous crash of thunder. It was quiet, I almost didn't notice, but it was a new sound compared to the rain, thunder and static of the TV. My heart lurched forward, taking me with it as I rushed to the entry hallway. In the dark, I could make out a figure. Large and imposing, it hunched in front of the main door of the house, grunting as it shifted about in the black of the hall. I had become so paranoid that the sight left me momentarily speechless, throat suddenly dried when I tried speaking.

"Miguel?" was what I managed to get out.

The movements stopped, tension rising around me as the figure stood to its full height. I almost back pedaled as it approached, step by agonizing step coming closer and closer to me. The air around me felt thick, hard to breathe until the glow of the TV revealed this intruder.

"It's you," Miguel's voice rattled my eardrum, reminding me to breathe. "Why are you still up?"

"Where have you been?" I demanded, forcing my voice to remain at a reasonable volume. "Do you know how late it is?"

Miguel's expression hardened, not answering me right away and keeping me on the edge of my seat. I searched every inch of his face for a reason, a tell to let me know what had kept him, and yet I saw nothing. Why did I still feel so uneasy? "There were some complications at work," he explained, "It took some time to fix. I figured you'd be asleep by now, so I grabbed something to eat after everything was sorted."

"And that took you until one in the fucking morning?"

"Didn't know I had a curfew." He said it so bluntly, almost accusatory. The eyes that looked into mine were unyielding, wanting no question or fuss to his response. Not to push that which was unmovable. It wasn't an expression I was familiar with, at least from him, the glint of affection that lingered no matter how mad he got at me now snuffed.

"I..." I trailed off, unsure what to say next. The whirlwind of thoughts and emotions collected within me had me feeling unhinged. Was I being crazy? "I'm sorry, I was just worried about you," I settled on, swallowing thickly so my throat had lubrication.

"Where's Gaby?"

The question gave me pause, his evident impatience spouting words from my mouth. "Oh! Um... she's in bed," Miguel didn't seem impressed by my answer, "u-upstairs," I pointed in the direction mentioned.

"Mmm," was all he responded with, leaving me to shuffle out of the way as he beelined to the staircase. Then I was left alone once again, the suddenness of it making me wonder if I had just dreamed everything. The heavy footsteps above my head confirmed that our interaction was all too real, another crack of thunder giving my body the jumpstart it needed. All was well now right? That's what I told myself as I folded the blanket I had been using, shutting off the TV and making my way up to the second floor.

Miguel's home now, Gaby's in bed, everyone is safe and sound. I thought as I passed by my daughter's room, catching a glimpse of her father sitting beside her bed. I repeated it as I got myself ready for bed, brushing my teeth and washing my face of any leftover makeup. My pajamas were one of Miguel's t-shirts and I tucked my nose under the collar as I lay down, letting the smell of him ease my lingering nerves. There was nothing more to worry about, everything would go back to normal tomorrow.

The sun woke me up, bright rays peeking through the curtains. Blinking away the haze of sleep, I still felt restless. The nightmares again, most likely. A nuisance that was bold enough to show itself in the night, but cowardice in that I'd forget them in the morning. As I wiped my eyes, the clock on my nightstand became readable.

7:30 AM

Overslept. It was what I needed to get me out of bed, rushing as I did the bare minimum to look presentable. Cold water to wash my face, teeth brushed, hair pulled back and managed, some sweatpants and slip-ons for good measure. Thank God I worked from home.

Gaby was next on my radar, moving quickly down the hall and rapping on her door with my knuckles. Opening my mouth to tell say it was time to get up, the words left me when I saw she wasn't in bed. Come to think of it, Miguel hadn't been in bed either. Did he even come into the room last night? Shaking my head to clear the thought, the sound of dishes clattering drew me to the kitchen. As I descended, the smell of pancakes was clear, the sound of quiet chatter and little giggles following after.

"Papi, quiero voltear el siguiente." Papi, I want to flip the next one.

The baritone of Miguel's laugh followed after, "Lo sé chiquita, pero debes tener cuidado." I know little one, but you have to be careful.

The sight of my husband and daughter making a mess of the kitchen was touching, last night's events feeling like a distant memory. Almost. To think those cold, hard eyes that had pierced through my very being, were now looking down with such warmth and tenderness.

"Mommy!" Gaby spotted me in the doorway, squeezing between Miguel and the counter to come greet me.

"Well, good morning to you too," I cooed, bending forward so we were eye level. Her arms wrapped around my neck in an embrace, my lips finding purchase on her cheek before returning the gesture with one arm. "What do you have going on here?" I asked once we had parted, smoothing down her curls.

Gaby shrugged, "I wanted pancakes," was her simple response. "You were sleeping, so Papi said he could make them."

I looked up at the man in question, who seemed more occupied with what was cooking on the stove than what we were discussing. "And they haven't burnt?" I teased, approaching him from behind. My hand touched the small of his back, thumb rubbing small circles into the muscle as I looked over his shoulder to analyze the aforementioned pancakes.

"I know how to make pancakes," Miguel quipped back, his tone suggesting I might have struck a nerve.

"Of course you do. It's just that last time-"

"I said I got it."

"Okay," was all I could really say, kissing his shoulder apologetically. "You're tense, Mig. You should take a warm bath," I commented, pulling away so as not to disturb him further. Gaby had taken a seat at the kitchen counter, nibbling on a small plate of fruit. Miguel had most likely prepared it so she didn't get impatient.

"Well, breakfast will have to be quick today," I announced, grabbing a grape for myself, "We still have to get you dressed for preschool and then-"

"I called the preschool," Miguel interjected and I turned to him, "she's not going today."

A small frown graced my features, "Well, I wanted to get a head start on my next article."

"Called your work too. Told them you weren't feeling well." Before I could protest, Miguel continued, "I took the day off as well, figured we could have a day together. As a family."

"Oh," is all I had left to say, "Are you sure? I mean that sounds great, but you said your boss was really strict about time off."

Miguel huffed, smiling wryly at my comment, maybe even condescending. "Yeah, well if he has a problem with it, he can kiss my ass."

My eyes widened at his sudden crassness, "Miguel!"

"Papi, that's a bad word," Gaby chimed in, nose scrunched in determination as she scolded her father.

Miguel's smile shifted to a genuine one, rounding the kitchen island to reach the little girl. "You're right, mi vida, I'm sorry," he said, kissing her temple and she squirmed at the contact. I watched as Miguel pulled away, combing his long fingers through her hair. Did she always look so small next to him? "Come on, help me plate the pancakes. The sooner you eat your breakfast, the sooner we can figure out something to do."

Gabriela nodded eagerly, jumping out of her seat and following Miguel to resume their work. I figured I'd let them enjoy each other's company, preparing coffee for Miguel and myself. As I had hoped, everything seemed to be as it always was once more, if not better. Usually it was hectic in the morning, Miguel sleeping in until the last possible second before getting dressed and walking out the door for work, Gabriela in tow. So having a moment like this was a rare treat, one usually reserved for the weekend.

And yet, there was still something that felt so entirely wrong. Something that made my stomach churn and the hair stand up on the back of my neck. Call it intuition, but as to what it was cluing me into, I had yet to understand. I racked my brain as to what could be causing this feeling to linger inside me. Chewing the inside of my cheek as I poured the coffee into two mugs. To one, I added milk and a spoonful of honey. The other simply got milk, each getting a thorough stir. I took both cups, sipping from the one with honey and offering the other to Miguel.

He took it without even looking at me, focused on making sure Gaby didn't hurt herself as she flipped a pancake. I thought nothing of it as I went to go sit down, maybe scroll on my phone now that I had time, but Miguel's disgruntled murmur had me turning to face him. "I don't want anything in my coffee."

"Oh, sorry I didn't know."

"It's fine, can you just remake it?" Miguel asked in a dismissive tone, holding out the mug to me to take. I set my drink down, taking his in both my hands and going to discard the contents in the sink.

When did he start taking his coffee black?

Tags: @lazy-idate @lilly5799 @yougavemeyourheartyouknow

[carlsangel]

BACK FROM THE DEAD

carl grimes x reader

(you run after the fall of alexandria.)

tags: angst, possibly squeamish shit i can’t tell, HAPPY ENDING WOOP

masterlist here!

You and Carl had been best friends since kindergarten. You experienced everything together, including the death of the entire world. You both watched the world crumble around you, you saw people you loved die and humans turn against each other despite the beings that are already trying to kill anything they can get their hands on. Or teeth on more so.

You were there for him when he got shot for the first time and when Lori died (also the birth of Judith). You were there when he’d turned into someone you’d never seen before, he was so cold and barely talked to you but you understood. You always understood him. He was being a dick but when he needed you most at the end of the phase, you were there. He couldn’t be more grateful to have someone like you.

You were together after the fall of the prison. Also, dealing with cannibals together wasn’t something you planned on doing but you did. It wasn’t surprising but…you didn’t think it’d ever get that far. Anyway from there you were on the road for what felt like a year, despite it being a couple weeks but he helped you stay hopeful that something or someone would come along and save you.

Alexandria was that something.

You were finally able to be normal again. You had a nice house, nicer than the two of you had lived in before. Before everything you and Carl actually lived next door. You had a perfect little routine, you’d wake up and get ready, head next door for breakfast and Lori would drive you and Carl to school. Your houses weren’t the biggest, they were lived in and very homey.

The Alexandria homes were quite similar although they were a lot larger, you finally felt like a family again. Dinners together, family game nights. However it didn’t last as long as you wanted it to. Of course something had to go wrong. Something about this particular experience was different from the rest.

You and Carl were separated. You left the walls to retrieve a comic that Carl had left by the tree before the horde in the quarry was even discovered. He didn’t mean to, he’d just forgotten it but you knew he was worried about his dad going out to deal with the horde. You knew if he had a proper distraction, he wouldn’t be as stressed. So, you left without saying a word because you wanted him to be surprised.

You’d brought a machete with you, the machete he was going to use to train Gabriel that same day. You’d hope to be home before he noticed. While you were out, you heard the loudest noise you’d heard in a long time, it made you realize how silent the world was. you grabbed the comic and stuffed it in your bag before running back to Alexandria. You got caught up in the hordes, you had to hide various times to not be seen. You were smart enough to bring kitchen timers with you for when you needed them.

It was about night when you finally reached the walls. It was a random wall clear of walkers, you weren’t exactly sure what side you be on. You heard what sounded like a child scream, then a woman. You finally scale the wall and peek over to see Ron pointing a gun at Rick. You’d barely even processed that the walls had been breached when she stabbed him in the chest from behind, his death grip pulling the trigger and releasing the bullet. Moments later you see Carl fall to the ground.

He’d just died right in front of you. You had no reason to be there, your only reason was gone.

So you ran and didn’t look back.

─── ⋆⋅ ꩜ ⋅⋆ ───

You lived off the small animals you found in the woods, it was a rough couple of years on your own. You refused to go back to Alexandria. You couldn’t live a life you were meant to live with Carl without him.

This resulted in a number of incidents that changed the trajectory of your life forever. About a year into being alone, you were shot by a man who’d been spiraling since the start. You stumbled upon his cabin and didn’t realize he’d been hiding inside ready to attack you.

He shot you in the thigh, the bullet didn’t go all the way through. You had to fight the man off and put him out of his misery to ensure your survival but even at that point you didn’t know if you even wanted to survive. You still were hung up on Carl, he was your true soulmate.

Anyway, you tried your best to dig the bullet out of your leg and you got most parts despite the excruciating pain, you almost passed out several times. You couldn’t help but feel stronger, however. Fragments of the bullet stayed in your leg, causing a limp you believed to wear off. It never did.

Not long after that you were hunting when you came across some walkers. They weren’t anything you couldn’t handle considering you’d practically been through hell and back. Then hell again and then back again. You get the idea.

You end up being able to handle them but with the way you did, you ended up getting a considerable amount of walker blood in your left eye. You didn’t think anything of it other than it had hurt essentially but you expected to wash it out and maybe it’d feel better.

But it didn’t.

It got severely infected and resulted in losing your eyesight. You were devastated obviously but you didn’t really get to see how extreme it looked until you’d found an old gas station and you looked in a bathroom mirror. You scared yourself so you resorted to wearing a makeshift eyepatch. Not that anyone would see you, but it made you feel better about it.

Little did you know, you were going in one big circle. You’d traveled far but after a couple years you found yourself back in the general area of Alexandria. You knew that because you found your and Carl’s tree. You reminisced about how everything used to be, even before the apocalypse.

You thought about it and as much as you hated to think about a life without Carl in Alexandria, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to return.

So you did just that.

You returned to the gates and you didn’t recognize the person guarding at the gate which you expected considering you hadn’t been there in about four years. You didn’t expect anyone to recognize you either. They motioned for someone to pull back the gate and when they did, you noticed how different Alexandria looked. There was a lot under construction, the houses looked different like they’d been repaired. You were unsure of anything that happened in the past couple years but you wanted to know if anyone you knew was still there.

You remained silent while the person at the gate greeted you like you were brand new, they mentioned Michonne and whether or not you could be approved to live there. You were happy to hear she was still alive, you didn’t doubt she would be. They basically talked your ear off, telling you about everything until they’d mentioned one name. Carl.

“We actually have a great doctor, Siddiq. Carl, one of the leaders here he saved him during the war-” You stopped them from rambling any further once you heard his name. “Carl? Carl Grimes?” The persons eyebrows furrowed in confusion, how did you know?

“Uh…yeah?” They reply wearily. “He’s alive?” You inquire, you already want to walk away to look for him but you need to know more. “I’m sorry, I hate to pry but like…are you from another settlement? Are you from Hilltop?” You shake your head. “I just need to know where Carl is, do you know where I can find him?”

The person looks you up and down. “Maybe we should get you checked out first. It doesn’t look like you’re well, you can get a shower and everything before you see him. He’s out anyway.” You think for a moment, realizing it was probably best you got checked on considering you’d been living in the wilderness for a couple years with no proper check up. You’d also suffered an eye infection that caused you to lose your eye, not to mention you were shot in the fucking leg.

You just couldn’t wait, you’d missed him so much. You did want to be presentable for him however. You cant come back from the dead to surprise your bestfriend looking the way you did. So you showered and put on fresh clothes. Afterwards you met with Siddiq and he helped clean your eye a bit, as well as giving you a proper eye patch to cover it. While with Siddiq, you were reunited with Michonne. She was ecstatic to see you and she knew Carl would be too, she’d told you that. You explained everything about how you ended up leaving after seeing Carl get shot and she understood. She was happy to see you back. She invited you to go greet him at the gates when he got home.

You waited for a while, you got a tour of new Alexandria while you waited. You reunited with some of the old group and you were explained how there are loads of settlements, also about the war.

When it was finally time to greet him back, you were out with the task to drag open the gate. When you did, he didn’t particularly notice but Michonne had to motion to you to get him to actually take a look at you. He was always so clueless.

He looked at you, looking at you intently and when he realized, all the tension from his face completely disappeared. He immediately embraced you with a hug, his face in your neck while you hugged him back tightly. You remain that way for a moment.

“I thought you were dead.” He tells you quietly.

“I thought you were too.”

a/n: sorry guys this took me forever to post rhejrhrjf SO i have some cooler things to be published soon, something written by a friend of mine and then after the next two like Carl fics i will have a couple carol fics come out :) currently have 10 things in my inbox, but this week is the week before finals so idk how quick i can get to everything, summer will be great though ill have stuff out consistently its just rn there’s a lot LOLL

tag list: @zomb-1-egutzz @evilnight07 @ilikestrawberriesandwomen

[dylandaydreams]

reader casually mentioning to patrick during a hookup he's the first guy they've been with and him thinking is hot (bisexual king)

anon i’m so sorry this took me so long but you truly rewired my brain with this one, thank you!!

[nsfw below the cut, minors dni!]

you & patrick had mutual friends & were introduced to each other over dinner & drinks, your gazes lingering over each other long enough for your friends to understand what was going on & push you two to sit next to each other for the night. a few drinks in & you were more loose lipped than usual, free of your usual inhibitions. so when your friends suggested a game of never have i ever, you went along with it rather than calling it childish or immature like you usually would. so did patrick.

a few typical rounds passed, drinks being sipped & laughter occasionally ringing out from someone in the group. as both of you get more intoxicated, patrick’s hands start to wander. previously, one had sat on table while the other rested on his thigh, but now it was on your thigh, his thumb rubbing against your skin.

“okay, okay!” one of your friends laughed, their eyes sparkling with a new question. “never have i ever… faked an orgasm?” a chorus of groans ring out in the room, & everyone except you & patrick take a sip of their drink. you share a knowing smirk, & he gives your thigh a squeeze that makes heat pool in your stomach. “wait, seriously?” your friend questions, making your break eye contact with patrick. you shrug. “yeah, that’s what happens when you’ve only slept with women, i guess.” you laugh. your friend rolls their eyes in amusement & someone else moves to continue the game, but the sentence has barely left your mouth when you feel patrick shift next to you, rubbing the hand that’s not resting on your thigh on his face. “really?” he asks softly once your friends have resumed playing. his eyebrows are raised in shock, but there’s a twinkle in his eye that makes you shift a little in your seat.

you shoot him a glance, a smile curling at your lips. “yeah, really.” you confirm again. he nods slowly & his gaze wanders away from you for a second, focusing on a faraway point behind you before his eyebrows furrow & he meets your eyes again. “but like, by choice?” he presses. you laugh again. “i didn’t know this was such a big deal.” you tease. he tilts his head to the side & raises an eyebrow, not an ounce of embarrassment regarding the rather personal question he just asked, just curiosity. the game your friends are playing is now long forgotten.

“not necessarily by choice.” you clarify, absentmindedly taking another sip of your drink before you speak again. “just happens to be that i’ve never had sex with a guy. yet.” this last word you mutter under your breath, hoping patrick is too drunk to hear you. but if his wide grin & his hand’s grip on your thigh means anything, he definitely hears you.

once the night draws to a close, you both say goodbye to your friends, & don’t even try to be discreet about leaving together, knowing your friends’ whistles & cheers would’ve followed you out of the bar regardless of how secretive you might’ve tried to be.

~

once you get to your house, patrick can’t seem to be able to peel your clothes off of you fast enough. “fuck.” he mutters into your mouth, both of your lips glossy with spit. “can’t believe i’m gonna be the first- oh shit, first guy to fuck you.” he finishes his sentence with difficulty & closes his eyes, his own words overwhelming him. “sure you’re gonna last that long?” you tease him, amused by his shamelessness.

he takes your comment as a challenge & pulls your shirt off of you before capturing your lips again. you wrap your arms around his neck & pull him closer, & his hands slide down to your ass, urging you to wrap your legs around his waist. you comply & mumble “first door on the left.” into his mouth to guide him as he carries you to your bedroom. patrick discards his shirt somewhere on the floor of your room & then places you on the bed before laying beside you. you run your hands & then your tongue over patrick’s chest, licking & sucking & biting. he’s laying back on the bed & watching you, letting you have your fill. patrick’s trying to let you explore but his patience is quickly running out.

thankfully, you quickly reach his boxers, possibly even more impatient than he is. seeing his length through his boxers makes your eyes go wide a little & he chuckles. “you okay, pup?” he teases. “you’re big.” you reply softly, palming him through the fabric & making him groan. “mm, yeah.” he groans. “gonna let me put it all inside you, huh?” you nod as you pull his boxers down & move to take him into your mouth. “spit on it.” patrick requests, his eye glinting with amusement. you hesitate for a second but ultimately follow his request, letting drool pool on your tongue before opening your mouth & letting it slide down to his cock.

“fuck, that’s good.” patrick says, his eyes rolling back as you take him into your hand & start stroking him. “can i put my mouth on it?” you ask after a couple of minutes of just using your hands. his hips cant up into your hands at your question. “yeah, you want my dick in your mouth?” he presses. you nod & he grins. “sure baby, go ahead.” with his consent, you lower your mouth onto him & start laving kitten licks onto his tip, gathering his precum on your tongue before spreading it all across his cock. “fuck, that’s good.” he hums, watching you explore with an attentive & heated gaze. you suckle on his tips & his hips buck into your mouth, pushing himself further into your throat & making you gag. “sorry.” he grins, not sounding very sorry at all.

you roll your eyes at him & try to take him back into your mouth, but he pulls you off. “nuh uh baby, wanna fuck you.” he states, reaching for your boxers. you let him peel them off of you & then lay back on the bed. patrick crawls over you & spreads your thighs apart with his strong hands. “gonna make you feel real good.” he mutters, almost to himself as he lines himself up with your entrance. he shoots you a quick glance to make sure you’re okay, & the kind gesture in the middle of such a heated moment makes your clit twitch. he smirks like he knows & you’re about to tell him to shut up, but then he’s pushing in & the words die on your tongue.

“fuuuuuck.” patrick drags the word out, his mouth open & his eyes shut in bliss as he sinks into you. when he bottoms out he opens his eyes to check in with you. “good?” he asks. you nod & grab his hip, urging him to move. “patrick, i’m not made of glass.” you tease. “fuck me like you’re the only man who’s ever going to.” your words immediately light a fire in his eyes, & he pulls out only to slam back into you. “oh, so you want it like this?” he spits out, his hips rocking into you with speed that makes your eyes well with tears & your breaths come in gasps. “want me to take care of you huh?”

you nod as he continues to pull in & out of you, bringing you closer & closer to your climax. your arms wrap around him & you rake your nails down his back, feeling his hips kick into with more fervor at your actions. “so- so good, pat.” you manage to gasp out between thrusts. he grins. “yeah, feels good?” he mocks. you’re helpless to his goading, any sense of shame now long gone. his arms move to push your legs from around his hips to over his shoulders, reaching an even deeper spot inside you & making you whimper.

“yeah, that’s it, huh?” his eyes sparkle with delight at your reactions. you’re moments away from orgasming, & if the pulsing of his cock is anything to go by, patrick is too. “fuck, baby.” he exclaims, his confident facade falling for a moment to let you see just how good you’re making him feel. one of his hands slides from your thigh to your lower stomach, pressing down to hear you gasp at the sensation. “daddy’s gonna make a space for just for him right here, baby.” his words make you gasp & you clutch his arms, desperate to cling onto something solid while his hips continue drilling into you & his mouth continues spilling filth.

“no other man’s gonna fuck you like me.” he gasps out against your mouth, & you nod as he reaches down to brush your clit, sending you over the edge. you moan loudly as you orgasm, & patrick finishes inside you moments later with a moan of his own. he keeps thrusting shallowly for a few more seconds before pulling out, watching his cum drip out of your hole. “fuck.” he grins.

you can’t help but agree.

[withahappyrefrain]

did we ever get a follow up on that night with bob? the 7th date one where he ate us out twice? pls my brain is short circuiting i need to know if we get to fuck him💔

Not only did we fuck him, we also learned another surprising thing about Bob: he has a raging size kink. Aka Full of Surprises Part 2: Electric Bugaloo

Warning: fem reader,  language, unprotected sex, Bob has a huge dick, Bob is also a sweet precious bean, size kink, fingering, multiple orgasms, squirting, overstimulation, creampie, slight dacryphilia (depends on how you look at it) just wrote 3.8K of porn, don't look at me

Being with Bob Floyd was the closest thing to euphoria.

When you were with him, you felt at ease and as light as a feather.

All he had to do was look at you with that sweet lopsided grin and joy would pulse through your veins.

It was why you didn’t mind pausing as you two both recovered from your previous activities and just laid in bed, kissing one another before continuing. 

“I love kissing you,” Bob whispered before pressing another kiss to your cheek, then the tip of your nose before moving down to your lips. 

A giggle escaped as you weaved your hands into his hair, fingers gently grasping at the now soft, ungelled curls, “Could have been doing it a lot sooner." 

"I know," Bob groaned, shaking his head, "I wanted to, like really bad. But I didn't want to make you uncomfortable." 

Of course he didn’t. Even after making you fall apart on his mouth twice, make sure you were at ease was still at the forefront of Bob’s mind. 

"Well," your fingers traced the soft skin of his broad shoulders, "I think it's safe to say we are now very comfortable with each other." 

He grabbed your hand, bringing it up to his lips. How was this man real? More importantly, how was he in your bed? 

That was something to figure out later. Right now, you were too busy soaking in the sensation of his body on top of yours, lips attached to your neck, and what just brushed against your thigh? 

Your hunch was confirmed when he rolled his hips against yours again. 

It shouldn't have been a surprise. Out of all the things you learned tonight about Bob, this one shouldn't have come as a shock.

He wasn't short, far from it. You barely came up to his chin. When he cupped your face, his thumbs would rest comfortably along your jawline while the rest of his hands covered your whole neck. He was able to lift you up like it was nothing, for crying out loud. 

So out of all the things you learned about Robert Floyd tonight, the fact he was well-endowed shouldn't be a surprise.

And yet, here you were, mouth open and eyes wide as saucers when you saw just the tip of his cock peeking out from his boxers, resting against one of his pale thighs. 

That was just the tip?

Was it even going to fit?

"You okay?" His voice was full of concern. His cerulean eyes never left your face. 

"I um….y-you're big." You mentally kicked yourself as soon as the words came out of your mouth. 

A hand flew up to the back of his neck, rubbing the warm skin, "Uh yeah I…that's why I wanted to get you used to my fingers. We um, we don't have to-" 

"No! I mean, that was a 'no' to the idea of us not doing something. Sorry it's," you sighed, bringing a pillow to cover your face, "it's been a while and I've forgotten what's proper etiquette but I know exclaiming that you have a big dick isn't it." 

Bob couldn't help but chuckle, though there was no malicious intent behind it. Usually he was the one rambling and getting flustered. As nice as it was that the tables had turned for once, he didn't like that you were hiding. 

"Don't hide that beautiful face from me, darlin'," it wasn't meant to be a command. But the way his voice was low and raspy made your thighs clench. 

He gently pulled the pillow away, revealing your flustered face. There wasn’t any hint of ego on his face (despite having a very big reason to). Instead his face was sweet, a soft smile adorning his handsome face. 

"I'm sorry," you blurted out. 

Bob shrugged, "For what? I mean, it's kinda….well, hard to miss. Can't exactly hide it, y'know." 

You giggled, instantly feeling more relaxed, "Do you normally talk about your dick size in bed or should I feel very special?" 

"You should feel special," Bob's hands cupped the sides of your face, bringing your lips to his for a brief moment, "because you're absolutely incredible." 

His lips trailed away from yours, moving down to your neck, past your collarbone, until they reached your chest. Your back arched as his mouth took one of your nipples, his teeth gently grazing against the sensitive skin. 

"R-Robby," you gasped when his fingers traced your entrance. 

The way you moaned his name was addicting. Bob had to stop his hips from rolling against the bed, knowing now just how easily he could come from watching you fall apart on his fingers. 

Instead, he watches, memorized by how your cunt stretches to accommodate his thick fingers. His cock twitched at the thought of how it would feel, desperate to have a turn. 

He knows you like him, and he's ninety-five percent positive you're the one for him. Which is why he doesn't want to rush things. 

A groan escapes your lips, your hips buckling up to meet his fingers, despite shaking your head, "I'm-I'm gonna come if you keep doing that." 

Bob chuckled, leaning over so that his face was mere inches away from yours, fallen dark blonde locks tickling your forehead. 

"Ya say that like it's a bad thing, darlin'." Prior to tonight, you had never seen that smirk on his face. It was the closest to cocky that Bob had been and you really shouldn't find it fucking hot but here you were. 

"W-wanna come on your cock," you whined. It wasn’t that you didn’t like his fingers, you loved them inside of you. But now that you knew, you were desperate to know how his cock felt. 

His blue eyes widened as his hand stilled its movements. Bob opened his mouth as if to speak, and then promptly closed it, your words replaying over and over in his brain. 

Fuck. 

Once his brain came back online after short-circuiting, Bob found himself quickly removing his boxers, tossing the undergarment somewhere on the floor of your bedroom. He could pick it up afterwards. 

A joke about being eager was on the tip of your tongue. Though it died as soon as Bob wrapped his arms around you, picking you up and placing you on his lap. 

For someone lean and lanky, he was deceptively strong. 

Any and all thoughts left your brain when his cock slid through your slicked folds. Bob couldn't help but smirk; the person who sought him out, who asked him out, now a moaning mess from just feeling his cock against you. If he had more stamina, he would continue; brush his hardened cock against your clit, drawing out high-strung moans until you made a mess with your own cum. 

Another time. 

It felt exhilarating, knowing there would be more times in the future. You didn't even flinch when he laid you back down on the bed, a pillow now flushed against your hips. You raised an eyebrow, confused by the action. 

“It um…it helps with….y’know.” 

Bob was going to do this right. 

"Please tell me you have lube." It took a few seconds to process his words, as you were too busy registering the fact he was able to manhandle your body without a second thought. 

"Why would we-" 

"We're gonna need it. Makes it easier." The fact he said it with zero doubt, because he knew it was true and he wanted you comfortable, made your head spin. You were used to guys either treating you like a rag doll or as if you were made out of glass. 

But Bob Floyd treated you like you were made of starlight. One that was capable of thoughts, one that deserved having things explained, not to downplay your intelligence, but because you deserve to know. 

It was subtle and the worst part was that he probably didn't think anything of it. To Bob, this was how he would treat anyone he cared about.

But to you, it meant everything. So much that it made your heart swell. 

Meanwhile, Bob was frozen because while he definitely heard you say that you had lube in the top drawer of your dresser, his mind was on another thing that happened to be in his wallet, which was now somewhere on your bedroom floor. 

"I uh-I have a condom in my wallet. Not that I usually carry one around. I mean, obviously I do but like, I didn’t like, actively go out, buy one, and put it in my wallet. One of my buddies gave it to me as a joke and I figured y'know, it's good to have in case I or anyone else needs it. Not that I expect to, you know, it's just it's good to always be prepared just uh just in case. I was a boy scout and they always emphasize that part, being prepared. They didn’t relate it to having sex safely, the context for them was more about carrying a first aid kit and I really should stop talking about that and check if the condom hasn’t expired-"

"God, you're so fucking cute," you sat up, hands reaching out to grab his broad shoulders, crashing your lips onto his in a bruising kiss. 

"T-thanks," Bob mumbled, glad you found his rambling endearing, as well as that you cut him off before he began talking about his Eagle Scout project. 

"I have an IUD. I also wasn't planning on being with anyone besides you." Bob's eyes widened, but instead of regret or fear (the emotions you were used to receiving), there was joy? 

"R-really? Because I feel the exact same way but didn't want to assume anything or-" 

"Have I not made it obvious that I'm crazy about ya Robby?" 

A rosy tint dusted his cheeks as he looked down, "Didn't want to assume." 

"Well, you don't have to assume," you reached out, intertwining your fingers with his, "I like you a lot. So quit assuming I don't." 

“So it….wouldn’t be wrong of me to assume that like, we’re going steady? Like officially-”

“I want you to be my boyfriend, if that’s what you’re asking Robby.” You could feel the smile he had as he kissed you

He gently squeezed your hands, smiling at the reassurance, "Can I make love to you?" 

"I'd love nothing more, Robby." 

Love. 

It's like music to his eyes, hearing the word come out of your mouth. 

He knows it's too soon, and in the back of his mind, he's yelling to himself why did you pick that word don't scare her. But with that sweet smile of yours, it's easy to drown out that nagging voice, and instead focus on the fact he's definitely falling in love with you. 

"Um, where did you say the lube was? Got distracted by that smile of yours." Heat rushes to your face from his words, and you nearly forget to give him an answer. 

With a quickness you had never seen from him, Bob located and applied the lube. Yes it was rude to stare, but it was hard not to look at his dick when it was that noticeable. 

A large hand gently cupped half of your face, "You'll tell me if it's too much, right?" 

"Course," you mumbled against his lips, your hips brushing against his. 

The chuckle he let out made your heart flutter, "I know darlin', I'm excited too. Don't wanna hurt ya." 

You could never hurt me Robby was on the tip of your tongue. But it died upon feeling the head of his cock enter you. The stretch was a delicious pain that made you throw your head back. Your hands dug into his back, leaving half-crescents along his skin. 

Bob's head dropped down to your chest, his mouth taking in one of your hardened nipples. It was a tried and true method; distract you from the initial pain with something more pleasurable. His eyes never left your face, on the lookout for any sign of discomfort. 

The grip you had on him relaxed, your back arching as his teeth gently tugged on the hardened bud. 

"Robby." His name came out in the form of a strangled whine, your cunt still adjusting to the sheer size of him. 

"You okay baby?" He asked before switching to your other breast. 

"Y-yeah. You c-can move now, n-now that it's all-" 

"Darlin', I'm only halfway in ya." 

Fuck. 

"Wait, what?" How quick your voice changed from desperate to shock was near comical. 

Bob tried to stifle his laugh, instead just shrugging, "I….I told ya it was a lot." 

"I didn't realize, I mean, I know you said it was big, but I didn't realize it meant-" Jesus Christ.

"I get it, I know plenty of guys who have said they had nine inches when they really meant five." 

The comment was so unexpected from Bob, you couldn't help but laugh. He joined you, feeling at ease despite that he was halfway inside of you and you felt fucking incredible. 

He peppered your face with light kisses as he slowly inched more of himself into you. As the moments passed, your body began to get used to him. 

"Gonna start movin' now, 'kay?" You nodded eagerly, your fingers gripping the ends of his dark blonde hair. 

"Fuck, Robby!" 

"D-darlin." 

He felt incredible, making you feel a fullness that had your back arching. Had that ever happened before? You thought that was just some made up shit you read in-

All thoughts left your head when the head of his cock brushed against your sensitive walls. Without even thinking about it, your legs wrapped themselves around his waist. 

Bob was trying to think of everything under the sun that would keep himself from coming before you did, which normally wasn't a struggle. 

But you? You felt incredible.

Every sound that escaped your lips was enchanting. If you were a siren, he was diving head first to answer your call. It was mesmerizing watching you react to taking all of him; your lips slightly parted, your fingers grasping at the sheets as his thrusts increased in intensity. Your thighs trembled as he bottomed out once more, eyes widening as you process that he's finally completely inside of you and holy shit. 

Bob wasn't sure what he had done to deserve an angel like you, but he was fucking grateful for it. 

"R-Robby," your voice reduced to nothing but strangled whines, "S'big."

"Fuck, you were made f'me," Bob's voice was low and strained against your ear. His words, combined with the desperate panting that fell from his lips with every thrust, made the coil in your stomach tighten, threatening to snap at any moment. 

The only thing you could muster that resembled speech were longing whines. You wanted to tell him how good it felt, to be stretched by him, to have his cock brush against that sensitive spot that sent you tumbling closer to the edge. That no one had ever felt this good, had been this good to you. 

But that would require the ability to form coherent thoughts. 

"Ya gettin' close baby?" His drawl was thicker. Prior to Bob, you didn't think of Midwestern accents as hot. But his voice was addicting. 

You simply nodded, head now buried in the crook of his neck. 

"Don't worry, I got ya." He brought two fingers up to his mouth, coating them with his tongue. 

The sight had you whining. Call it being greedy, but you wanted all of him. 

"Ya wanna help?" You nodded your head, lips parting to allow his fingers into your mouth. 

"Such a sweet girl," He practically cooed, watching as you took the two digits up to his knuckle. 

The grunt he let out upon feeling your throat tightened as you gagged on his fingers was downright animalistic. It didn't help that Bob could feel how much it turned you on, your cunt clenching  around his cock at the sound. 

 His fingers left your mouth to trail down to where your bodies met and began drawing right circles on your clit. 

At this point, you were ninety percent certain that you were shouting Bob's name. It was hard to tell, between the bed creaking with every thrust, the downright sinful grunts Bob let out everytime he felt your walls tighten, getting closer and closer to the edge. All this, plus the sound of skin slapping against skin? Who could think about noise complaints? 

Your neighbors could get fucked. 

His lips captured yours in a bruising kiss, teeth all but clashing against yours as his tongue became familiar with your mouth. 

"W-wanna ride you," you mumbled against his shoulder, hips buckling against his. 

Bob simply shook his head,  despite how tempting your offer was, "Gotta get ya used to me, darlin'. Next time, 'kay?" 

Next time. Next time. You knew it would be at least a couple of days until next time, that you (and your cunt) would need time to rest and recover and you already knew that in itself was going to be torture because fuck, no one had ever made you feel this good before. 

But you couldn't wait for the next time. 

"C'mon darlin'. Wanna see if ya feel just as good comin' on my cock as ya do on my fingers. Think ya can do that f'me?"

Maybe you nodded. Perhaps you even gave Bob a verbal response. You weren't sure, as your brain had gone fuzzy while white hot pleasure overtook your body. 

Bob was surprised he could still thrust in and out of your cunt, considering how tightly it was clenching his cock as you came. The sight of your head thrown back, eyes closed, as the rest of your body withered in pleasure was enough for him. 

Your eyes opened upon hearing the most beautiful sound; a deep, guttural moan as Bob's hips stuttered before coming inside of you. 

There had to be other ways to get him to make those sinfully sweet noises. 

For the next few minutes, the only sounds in your room was your overhead fan and heavy panting as you and Bob attempted to catch your breath. 

Fuck, he came a lot. 

"Was that, um, was that-" 

"That was fucking incredible." Instinctively, you wrapped your legs around his waist, "Could go for another round if I'm being honest." 

Bob groaned in frustration, "I wanna be able to fuck you within the next few days, not weeks." 

You whined in response as he began to shift his body, the grip your legs had around his waist tightening. 

"Darlin', I don't wanna hurt ya," he knew you would be sore, even if you didn't feel it yet. Bob knew you would tomorrow, hell probably even later tonight. 

"No! Robby, please. N-need you. Need you s'bad." The idea of being empty, of being without him was awful. 

He didn't want to hurt you. 

But he could help wash your sheets. 

"Think you can come f'me one more time?" His voice was raspy as he pulled out. Confusion melted away into pleasure when you felt his cock drag through your soaked folds. 

He was thick and still hard, which baffled you. You were used to 'one and done'. You were used to men rolling over and falling asleep after they fucked you, not even bothering to check if you actually came. 

"You looked s'good, takin' all of me," He cooed. The praise made your head spin. 

Your hips jerk upwards, trying to catch him, but Bob sees right through it. His large hands are able to hold you down and you're honestly not sure if that was better or worse. 

"I told ya darlin', don't wanna hurt ya. Need to take a break," His gruff voice was stern. 

You gasped when the head of his cock dragged against your clit. Bob could already recognize the tall tale signs that you're close; your back arching, eyes screwed shut in pleasure, your whines increasing in pitch. 

He zeroed in on the swollen bundle of nerves, eliciting a near scream from you as you began to come undone on his cock. 

Bob couldn't help it, he tried not to curse that often. But the sight of you soaking his dick with your come caused his brain to go blank. 

What was definitely a scream came out from your lips when you felt his cock slip back inside your cunt. Your hands reached up, tugging at his hair, earning a near-growl from Bob. 

“I can’t get enough of ya. Feel s’fucking good,” each word was punctured by a thrust, “Look so pretty like this.”

As your lips parted, three fingers slid into your mouth. The sudden lack of oxygen, the sensation of his calloused fingers against your tongue, had you nearly gagging on the thick digits. 

Tears began to form at the corner of your eyes. In the back of your mind, this should be painful. Maybe you should tell Bob to stop, he would listen after all. 

But god it felt so damn good. You felt high off the immense pleasure you were experiencing, the big wave brought on by your previous orgasm having melded into small waves of pleasure. Small moans dribbled past his fingers, your hips weakly trying to meet his. 

In the back of his mind, Bob knew he should pause, should stop and ask if you wanted to still continue. But he also knew how much you enjoyed it, despite the tears. 

But that didn’t stop him from dipping his head down to your face, soft lips kissing away the tears. 

“Breathe. Breathe through your nose.” He directed. How did he know that? They certainly didn’t teach that in Eagle Scouts. Or maybe they did during the swimming badge?

His cock brushed against that one spot you swore folks were making up and your mind went blank. Amidst the deep haze, his fingers leave your mouth, hooking themselves under your chin, forcing you to look upwards so he could kiss you again. 

God, did he love kissing you. 

More than the fact you made him come now three times in one night. More than the fact you were currently soaking his cock, back careening off the bed as you continued to come. 

"Oh, R-Robby." 

But that nickname, that made his heart swell, that made him feel truly at ease, made him feel like himself -not Robert or Bob- when you called him that? 

That was a close second. 

Your arms wrapped themselves around his torso, your head resting on his broad shoulder as you began to recover from tonight's excursions. 

"Stay for a little bit. Like being full of you, Robby." 

Fuck, he needed to buy a ring tomorrow. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

@heartsforts @rhettabbotts @lt-bradshaw @thedroneranger @rae-gar-targaryen @abibliophobiaa @darkheartcherry @theharddeck @sebsxphia @hangmanapologist @dissonannce @sonofarathorn @cherrycola27 @girl-in-the-chairs-void @callsignspark @mrsrobertfloyd @bradshawsbitch @rae-gar-targaryen @ouralcohol @friendly-neighborhood-blondie @princessphilly @babyonboardfloyd @avaleineandafryingpan

[harunayuuka2060]

Riddle: Am I the only one who gets annoyed sometimes with Professor MC?

Leona: Okay. Then why are you proposing that they teach the sophomores?

Kalim: Is it because Sensei has proven you wrong? Haha!

Riddle: WHAT DID YOU SAY JUST NOW, KALIM?!!

Azul: MC-sensei has only applied your own logic to you. Like they said, "it takes a handful of pills for Riddle Rosehearts to know how bitter the medicine is."

Riddle: *gritting his teeth in anger then immediately realizes that they're right and calms down*

Vil: I hope they teach 3rd years too.

Idia: Why? Weren't you bitter that your dorm didn't win the last event?

Vil: I was. But when they made an exception for Epel, I've come to realize that they found potential in him as much as I am.

Vil: *smiling proudly* And have you seen my poison apple lately? His posture is perfect. He's more alert, and has taken the duties in the dorm like cleaning all the windows without the need for me to bark orders.

Kalim: How about you, Leona? What can you say about MC-sensei?

Leona: *frowning a little* Well... They're fine. They don't poke their nose on other people's businesses.

Leona: Though I couldn't forget when they spun my bed while I was in it.

The housewardens: ...

The housewardens: *burst out laughing*

Idia: How was that possible?

Leona: Don't ask me. That teacher is crazy strong. No wonder they beat up Crowley without struggling.

Crowley: *enters the room* Oh. All of you are here. Except Mr. Draconia as always.

Crowley: Anyway, has everyone arrived to a unanimous decision?

MC: *talking to their first-students, acting all dramatic*

MC: Woe is me! *puts a hand over their forehead*

MC: I'm just new and I'm already teaching two year levels?

MC: *sniffles* *then stops the dramatic act* Anyway, that would just mean that our special classes won't be that frequent anymore.

The first-years: Aww...

MC: However, that doesn't mean that you can slack off. Hehe~.

MC: I'll be dropping by to your dorms and see that none of you have forgotten what we have learned.

The first-years: Yes, sensei!!!

Professor Vargas: Ashengrotto! Why can't you keep your feet on the broom?!

Azul: I'm sorry, sir... But I need a little more practice.

Professor Vargas: *sigh* Anyway, Professor MC will be coming here to assist you. And!

Professor Vargas: Don't.

Professor Vargas: Embarrass.

Professor Vargas: ME.

MC: *appearing behind him* You seem pretty heated up, sir.

Professor Vargas: AH! Oh. Oh... Hello, sensei. No, I'm— *clears throat*— Mr. Ashengrotto here needs some assistance.

MC: Oh?

Azul: *sad frowns*

MC: ...

MC: *beams* *starts pushing Professor Vargas* Okay, sir. I'll be helping him. You should go and rest. Well, I've heard that there's a new dish in the cafeteria. You should try it. Hehe~.

Professor Vargas: Y-Yes! I'm counting on you, sensei! *then left*

MC: *turns to face Azul* Now, let's start with this lesson?

Jade: I wonder how Azul is doing.

Jamil: He'll be fine. He's with MC-sensei.

Azul: *flies past them*

Azul: *evil laugh*

MC: *is sitting next to Azul, waving at them*

Jade: ...

Jamil: ...

Azul: I'M AZUL ASHENGROTTO AND I HAVE CONQUERED MY INCOMPETENCE IN P.E.!

Azul: AAAHHAHAHAHAHA!

MC: *gestured to everyone that are seeing them that he's fine*

*a few moments ago*

Azul: What do you think is the problem, sensei? I've tried keeping my balance, but it wouldn't work.

MC: Hm... Mr. Ashengrotto, I think you're quite the cautious type.

MC: *smiles* You're being difficult on yourself.

Azul: Being difficult on myself? I don't think I quite understand you on that, sensei.

MC: Besides the fact that you're a cautious type, you're quite ambitious as well.

MC: Picture this. Seeing the ones who had underestimated you,

MC: Grovel at your feet. *smiles*

Azul: ...

Azul: You're giving me an ego-boost, sensei.

MC: Oh. Then we shall use that. *chuckles*

Rook and Vil: *watching Azul flying around*

Vil: Has he finally lost it?

Rook: *chuckles* Roi d'Effort is enjoying himself!

[errihaienx]

sypnosis : you, a renowned journalist, once Atsumu's lover, are assigned to interview his team, MSBY Black Jackals, in the V League. amidst the echoes of your past romance and the intensity of the game, emotions flare as you navigate the thin line between professional duty and unresolved feelings. as questions linger and the court holds its breath, you must confront the love you left behind on the court of your shared history.

disclaimer : just to clarify, the storylines of the fics and the original meaning of the songs may not match up. each fic was crafted based on specific lyrics. for instance, 'reminder' by the weeknd is about him 'reminding' listeners of his identity and successes as a pop/R&B artist. however, in this fic, it's focused on an ex reminding you of their presence, highlighting your shared history with them.

Eyes scanning the email that had just arrived, you found yourself fixated on one particular line, unable to fully process the rest of its contents.

"Am I seeing this right?" you muttered to yourself, struggling to grasp the reality that you were being tasked with interviewing the MSBY Black Jackals for their upcoming match against EJP Raijin.

The weight of the assignment was not lost on you; both teams were immensely popular, and this opportunity could significantly boost your career and benefit the broadcasting company you represented. Yet, amidst the professional excitement, something stirred deep within your heart—a feeling long forgotten, ignited by someone from your past.

With closed eyes, you drew a deep breath, torn between accepting this golden opportunity and the memories that now flooded your mind. You were still carving your path in the media broadcasting industry, and this interview could be the breakthrough you had been striving for.

You tried to push away the distracting thoughts of the past, but they persisted, vivid flashes of moments shared with a smiling Atsumu dominating your mind. A bitter smile crossed your lips; this was merely work, a job that demanded professionalism above personal sentiment. Journalists couldn't afford to skip assignments due to old feelings.

Finally deciding to accept the job, your hands trembled slightly as you typed out a response to the email.

It had been years, and the likelihood that he would remember you seemed slim. Perhaps he would shrug off the past, considering his current fame and influence, or maybe he wouldn't even recall you at all. It was foolish to believe that Miya Atsumu, the volleyball star, still carried any remnants of a heartbreak from his high school days.

That thought lingered, engraved in your mind—that he wouldn't remember, or if he did, that it wouldn't matter to him. He wouldn't care about his ex, the one who ended things during his final year as a third-year student.

You knew you had made a mistake. Atsumu had been a devoted boyfriend, loyal and kind, giving you more love and affection than you had ever dared to hope for. Yet, despite all that, you couldn't say you regretted the breakup. You had always understood his passion for volleyball, knowing it was his calling. You convinced yourself that ending the relationship was for the best, a decision made to allow him to focus on his dreams.

A tear escaped, quickly wiped away. The internal debate had been exhausting, keeping you up all night after receiving that email.

Reaching for your phone, you contacted a close friend.

"What the actual fucking fuck?! Are you fucking for real now!? "

"Yeah… so I accepted it…" you replied, your voice barely above a whisper, recounting the job you had been assigned.

" Fuck, that's unexpected,"

You nodded in agreement, feeling the weight of this unexpected turn of events.

"Well, don't be too bothered by it. There's only a 1 out of 10 chance you'll end up interviewing him. There are like ten people on that team, and Atsumu has a reputation for skipping interviews if he's not in the mood. "

Nodding along, you felt a semblance of relief. Amidst all the focus on Atsumu, you had momentarily forgotten that he was just one member of a larger team.

"However, if fate has it out for you and you do end up face-to-face with Atsumu for an interview, just think of it like a chat with your ex."

Your face twisted in discomfort at the thought, watching as your hopes seemed to evaporate. Your friend rambled on a bit more before ending the call, citing her late-night date with her boyfriend as the reason.

Exhausted, you collapsed onto your bed, shrugging off the swirling thoughts. You needed to act like you didn't know him, to focus on the task at hand. You had two weeks to prepare, a seemingly ample amount of time for a mere interview.

In two weeks' time, you vowed to do your best to forget about him. As your eyes drifted shut, sleep enveloped you, and you ventured into the realm of dreams.

• two weeks later...

Sweat dampened your palms as you flipped through the crumpled scripts, the two weeks leading up to this moment feeling like a whirlwind. What was supposed to be a slow, preparatory period had raced by, leaving you on the brink of losing your composure.

Now, mere minutes away from your interview with the MSBY Black Jackals, the clamor of loud cheers and the clicking of camera shutters filled the vast volleyball stadium where you stood.

"Don't let the pressure get to you! You've interviewed bigger stars before; this should be a walk in the park," a staff member from your company reassured you.

A smile tugged at your lips, finding some comfort in their words.

"You've got this. Just stick to what you've rehearsed over the past two weeks," you murmured to yourself, drawing from the intense preparation you had put in, a departure from your usual approach to interviews.

Taking a moment to collect your thoughts, you took a sip of water. The deafening roar of the crowd reached its peak, causing you to flinch. Could this be it?

"Shit!" you cursed under your breath as you caught sight of the imposing figures of the MSBY Black Jackals, their silhouettes commanding the space.

Composing yourself, you braced for the inevitable. You knew the drill. Your gaze met first with the familiar form of Bokuto Kotaro, striding confidently towards the media area. You dared not let your eyes wander further; it was dangerous, far too dangerous.

But it seemed danger had a penchant for seeking you out. With eyes as cold as ice and a physique that demanded attention, Miya Atsumu fixed his gaze on you. As your eyes met his, he arched a brow, a smirk playing at his lips as he scanned you from head to toe.

This was unexpected, catching you off guard. Yet, you reminded yourself to stay resolute. You were here for the interview, and nothing would shake that resolve. A member of the MSBY management approached, handing you a paper.

"I apologize, Miss (name), but we can only spare 15 minutes for this interview. However, we have scheduled an off-camera interview with the team," they informed you.

You nodded, forcing a smile at your lips. Fifteen minutes was more than enough. You need to get this work done immediately anyways.

"U-umm…"

"Yes? Is there something else?" you asked, sensing the nervousness in their stutter. Remembering your own early days of stumbling over words, you made an effort to be understanding.

"Y-you're so pretty in person, Miss," the staff member blurted out before quickly turning away.

A laugh escaped you at their candidness, finding it endearing. It helped ease some of the tension, bolstering your confidence for the impending interview.

But of course, just when you thought the danger had passed, there he was—Miya Atsumu, heading towards you with that familiar smirk.

ah, here it is the danger.

• twenty three minutes later...

With trembling hands, you tried to compose yourself after that disastrous interview with Atsumu. In the taxi, tears threatened to fall as the film of the interview played in your mind. You found out that he had volunteered to handle the media and they found it amusing, considering it was out of character for him. Taking deep breaths, you watched your interview with him, grateful that you had at least managed to maintain your composure as you had rehearsed. If you hadn't known yourself and watched this, you would have never guessed you were once exes based on the interview.

Just as you thought you had survived the danger, it came back for you. After the interview, another journalist from a different company asked Atsumu why he had taken the lead in presenting himself to the media.

"I feel comfortable with (name)! I guess that's the reason," he replied casually.

"Oh, you mean, Miss (name), the one that interviewed you earlier?"

"Yeah, we knew each other…" he smiled, a glint of pain visible in his eyes.

The aftermath was a flood of texts, emails, and calls from your coworkers after they saw the clip. Frustrated and anxious, you personally emailed Atsumu's management requesting a meeting to ask him not to mention anything about your past again. His management agreed, asking to sign some documents first before scheduling your off camera interview with MSBY. You had thought that a staff member would be handing the paper works to you but, to your surprise, it was Atsumu himself who showed up.

and now here he stands, in a tight red button-up shirt, with a familiar dogtag hanging from his neck.

"You're a renowned journalist now…" his voice was soft, as if he was yearning.

You straighten your posture, making the best efforts to make this as professional as it should be.

"Please, let's get to the point…"

"I'm so proud of ya…" His lips quivered, you're just so....so pretty that he would die.

"Stop skirting the issue and stick to what's relevant." you replied coldly, but your hands are trembling.

he smirked, the previous yearning dissipated like it was never been there.

"Ahuh? why're you tryin' so hard to act like we didn't have somethin' before, hmm?"

"Why are you doing this…"

"I am just remindin' ya, (name), you know me."

He reached for the script from you and scanned the first page; the first part of this interview was about the player's introduction. In his opinion, you should have simply introduced him because you know him so well, you've seen everything, explored his mouth, and screamed his name.

"Are you forgettin' things now? Then let me remind you. Startin' with my name, I am Atsumu Miya."

"I know that you are the A-atsumu Miya.."

"Oh, didn't even stutter while sayin' my surname. I mean, of course, ya once asked me to give ya that, right?" he continued, flipping through the script. After the introduction of names, it stated that the interviewer should ask about Atsumu's relationships, so he decided to answer himself.

"Fer my relationships, I had a few flings before entering a serious one in my late second year. My relationship with that girl was so great… so amazin' that I kinda want to experience it again."

You shivered, feeling the weight of his words.

"But unfortunately, she broke up with me during a tournament match. Oh, why did ya flinch? That situation rings a bell, huh?" he smirked.

"'Tsumu…" you called out to him, and he was stunned.

"Quit it, please… I am truly sorry for my selfish acts. I know I couldn't make it up to you after all these years, but you are very successful now…"

your eyes were warm, you should not cry this is an interview, right?

"You could do something to make it up if you want to—"

"Please stop… Our breakup probably was the reason you're successful now! Right! You can't deny that. If we didn't break up, I could have been a burden, and maybe you wouldn't have reached your dreams, so please let's not—" you pleaded, desperate to end this conversation, but he cut you off.

"If we didn't break up, I could've won that match and become successful way sooner," he said with a stern voice and hurt yearning eyes.

"What do you want…" you whispered

"I am just—" he trailed off, trying to compose himself first.

"I am just reminding you that you know me. I can't bear the fact that I am the one who was left, but why am I the one who's restless about it? How can you act like you never loved me?"

"It's not like that, I am just trying to forget things—"

"Forget everythin' but not me."

he reached for your trembling hands, closing his eyes before kissing it.

"Please, not me…"

"Even if I have ta remind ya over and over again, I'll do it. Jus' don't forget about me. About us…"

He kissed your ring finger once more after carefully touching each one of your fingers. You should be aware that he hasn't changed and is still completely smitten.

"It was always you, baby. Can we—no, we will try again. You ain't forgettin' me."

You were left stunned, the weight of his words sinking in. The air crackled with unresolved emotions, the past colliding with the present. Atsumu Miya, the boy you once loved, stood before you, asking for another chance.

more about this series : TO BE POSTED! ( please check the link later ^^ )

up next : ????

[random-potat]

.:･˚₊ let's get out of here

pairings: theo x fem!reader ft. intak, and chaeryeong and ryujin of itzy

synopsis: with parties not bring your forte, trying to find a way out unexpectedly leads to meeting someone new.

word count: 1.5k

warnings: mild swearing, poor attempts at humour, alcohol consumption

a/n: ahhhh! first written oneshot and it's for theo!! hope you guys enjoy, this honestly took me a while cause although i have the plot in my head im just too lazy to actually write it lol, but worry not as i am working on future fics and ideas ৻( •̀ ᗜ •́ ৻)

Bodies. Alcohol. Sweat. More bodies. More alcohol. More sweat.

"Gross," you thought. "Clearly, parties aren’t my forte." 

You walk over to the crowd, searching for your friends, Chaeryeong and Ryujin. After what feels like being pushed over 20 times, you reach your friends.

“You guys, I think I'm going to head home." You fan yourself, acting as if you feel faint, “feeling kind of lightheaded.”

Chaeryeong turns to you, pushing you to a more quiet area. "Are you ok? It's pretty late right now. Why don't you take a nap upstairs in Intak's room? He said that none of his roommates are here right now. That way, we can go home together."

You nod your head in agreement. "Ryujin was my ride home anyway." You glance back at her, seeing her drunkenly dance around "that is if she's sober enough."

"Which way is Intak's bedroom? I don't want any of his roommates to find some random girl sleeping in their bed." 

"It's the second room on the left."

"OK, wake me up when you guys are done."

"Rest well," Chaeryeong says as you watch her head back to the rest of your friends on the dance floor.

Going upstairs was much more of a challenge than you expected. With people's bodies on top of one another and smoke fumes going through your face, it just wasn't a fun time. Nevertheless, once you make it to the top, you may or may not have forgotten which room to go to.

"Second door, second door, something. Was it left? Was it right? I have a 50% chance here. Left or right?" You looked both ways, still pondering. "Just gonna go with the right-hand rule."

You walk into the room, “Oh shit- oh, I’m sorry. I guess it was the left door." Forgetting that you were still standing there, you make eye contact with the man in front of you. “Thought this was Intak’s room. Sorry to bother you,” you say as you scratch the nape of your neck.

As he stares at you, he fails to remember that he hasn't responded to you yet. Clearing his throat, his voice begins, “uh- no, no, it’s fine. My fault for forgetting to tell Intak that I came back.”

As the air begins to get more and more awkward, you walk backwards towards the exit of the room. "Well, I'm just gonna head to Intak’s room,” you point behind you.

You turn around halfway before hearing the boy say, "Hey! you wanna head out?” Stopping in your tracks, you question him, “What?”

“Let’s get out of here,” he states more boldly. 

You turn around, eyeing him from outside of the room. “I don’t think that would be the best idea, considering we don’t even know one another.” 

He shrugs. “I mean, I'm sure you have nothing better to do. I'm assuming you came up here to get away from all the madness downstairs.” 

You stare at him with a blank expression. “That was just an idea, you don't have to. You can just head to Intak's room,” he says, panicking while moving his hands around. 

As you hesitantly walk back into his room, you inspect every single corner. Seeing posters and vinyls of rock bands like AC/DC and Queen, with little trinkets scattered around his room. Spotting an electric guitar in the corner of his room, you point towards it, “You play?” 

The boy turns to where you point, and he nods, “Yeah, I dabble. Been practicing Until I Found You on it.” 

You turn back to him, finally making your decision, putting your hand out for him to shake. “I'm YN.”  

He grabs your hand to shake and smiles, “Theo.” 

You smile back at him, “Let's get out of here.”

The two of you guys go out on a journey towards the convenience store. As you walked, you expected a somewhat awkward silence but were met with Theo giving his ear buds to you, “just for us to listen to.”

The familiar tune of Beth by KISS surrounds you. Theo says, “I'm just going on a whim that you may like rock songs.” He turns to you, “Don't think that I didn't see you eyeing my AC/DC vinyl.” 

“I will say your vinyl collection is very impressive," you reply. 

Thankful for the music in your ears, the rest of the walk to the convenience store went by smoothly. Small talk and hearty laughs were exchanged, and with the cool breeze passing by, both of you were completely unaware of the butterflies gradually forming in your stomachs. 

Reaching the convenience store, you head straight to the instant food. Grabbing some Neoguri ramen as well as some instant spicy rice cakes, your drink of choice is some good old-fashioned milk tea. 

Walking back to Theo, he shows you his items. Some jelly, strawberry milk, and honey butter chips. He looks down at what you’ve grabbed and asks, “Was the party food really that bad?”

You sighed, “If there even was food, all I saw was alcohol." You looked back in thought, "although I think I did see a bowl of something in the living room.”

After paying for your snacks, the both of you head to a nearby park to hang out.

Sitting down together on a bench and munching on your snack, the night passes by in a blur. Long conversations were held with your guys’ laughter, which could be heard from a mile away. Interests were exchanged, heavy on the topics of interest you both shared.

Finding a similar interest in Harry Potter, questions were being asked back and forth, “Ok, but no, which Harry Potter movie is the best one though?” Theo asks. “Definitely Prisoner of Azkaban, it’s also the best book, and no one could tell me otherwise,” you replied.

Finding out about Theo’s admiration for Emma Watson, you couldn’t help but tease him, “You know, if you dye your hair ginger, you might pass for a Weasley," you say, laughing as he glared at you.

Not knowing the time at all, and with the party long forgotten, your phone blows up with notifications. “I’m going to assume those are my friends." You check the time and realize that you guys have been out for nearly two hours. 

“Holy shit, yeah, we should probably head back. Intak might think I kidnapped you or something.” Theo says as he grabs all the trash.

Arriving back at the house, people can be seen leaving as they're helping their tipsy friends, with some people looking like they're going to stay back for a little bit longer. You spot your friends, looking worried, on the porch with Intak.  

They spot you, putting up their hands to wave at you. As you wave back at them, you turn back to Theo, “guess this is me. It was really fun hanging out with you tonight. Although I was a bit skeptical at first.” 

Theo puts his hand to his chest, “wow that hurt!” feigning a pained expression. 

“Hey, for all I know, you could've just come into this open party and acted like you were Intak’s friend, just to kidnap someone.” 

“Ok, that’s impossible. You saw all my pictures in my room, which happen to have Intak in them," he replies back. 

“Hey, you never know. That could all have been a front that you've planned for months.” 

“Really, YN? Maybe you need to lay off the true crime documentaries for a while.” 

Not really knowing how to leave one another, you both speak at the same time.

“I think my fri-” 

“We should prob-”

 Theo speaks first, “We should probably head inside. Are you staying over?” 

You shake your head. “Nope, class tomorrow, plus I'm pretty sure Ryujin might collapse any time now,” you say as you glance at your friends, who are now heading over. 

“YNNIE!” Ryujin screams, “i missed yuh sooooo muschhhh,” she slurred as she tackled you into a hug. “I was dancing all on the floor thing an YOU were out with a man. like whyyyy? ah we not enuf fir you?” 

You lift her up, putting your arms around her to support her weight. “Okay, now I think it's time for you to head into the car.”. 

You glance back at Theo, “hopefully I’ll see you around?” 

He nods and smiles. “Yeah, I’d like that.” 

As you watch Theo head back to his house, Chaeryeong nudges you with her elbow. “Soo, what’d you guys do?” she teases. 

“Definitely not whatever you’re thinking, that's for sure. C'mon, help me put Ryujin in the car.” 

"Oh, come one, give me the details,” she whines. You shake your head. “Maybe tomorrow morning, when you guys are both sober.” 

“Pinky promise?” 

“Pinky promise.”

As Theo walks towards the house, Intak comes into view with his dopey smile. 

“Stop looking at me like that.” 

“Like what?” Intak replies.

“Like that," Theo waves his hands, “like you’re all knowing or whatever.” 

Intak puts his hands up in surrender. "Look, I'm just saying it seems like you and YN hit it off,” he smiles again, “plus I know she’s single.” He wiggles his eyebrows. 

"Oh, shut up!”

my masterlists

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[akxmee]

★ 02. 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗣𝗣𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗘.

"I must have forgotten that you know me so well."

Suguru gave you a closed mouth smile, closing his eyes and relaxing. If only he could tell you things would be so much easier. But things were more complicated than you could even imagine anyways.

"Unfortunately, i can't tell you."

You frowned, disappointed.

"You said you would explain everything."

"Anything but that."

"Why?"

The man sighed. That must be your favorite word, wasn't it? He couldn't blame you though, this new information is hard to digest and thank god you didn't kick them out when you came back to your senses. Moving his hand close to yours, his fingertips made contact with the palm on your hand while you two were still laid on bed, tracing unrecognizable patterns on your skin to soothe you. He liked contact, not as much as satoru, of course, but he did find it comforting. As a cat, he would always purr when you scratched behind his ears or brushed his long hair. Seems like he, as a human, still enjoyed it.

"I can't. They're always listening."

"They? Who are them?"

The question left your mouth sooner than expected, not even thinking about it. Were they in some kind of mess with bad people? Oh, your poor pets. Suguru was about to answer when another voice interrumped him, Satoru's.

"Trust me, you don't want to know."

He threw himself on the bed behind you, wrapping his arms over your figure. You tensed a little, still not used to them and neither trusting them enough to let him hug you like that. Not for now at least.

"i already cleared the hall. Not to flatter myself, but i'm an excellent cleaner! No broken ceramic anymore."

"Good boy, Satoru. Want a treat?"

Suguru cooed at him, joking around. Satoru scoffed, complaining about him being mean. They talked while you were still there, sometimes letting you join the little chit-chat and sometimes just arguing, until you all got asleep.

But you didn't.

You let Satoru have the pleasure of hugging you to sleep, since you couldn't. Suguru was already breathing calmly and resting, but you were not capable of doing so. There was still a bad feeling deep inside of your chest, like some sort of uncertain worry.

"Psst."

Someone whispered. You looked at Suguru, he was still asleep so it couldn't have been him. That only meant the one that called you was..

"Satoru?"

"That would be me, yes."

Of course it was him.

"Shh, you'll wake suguru up! What do you want?"

"You're so tense." He whispered back, making a pause. "Am i making you uncomfortable?"

"Just not used to going from sleeping with my pets to sleeping with grown men. Specially hybrids ones."

He chuckled, you felt his body shake because of that. Unlike suguru, he had a cheery laugh. Suguru's was soft, while his was loud and contagious. You shushed him again, and this time he did as told.

"That's okay, you'll get used to it. You're already making progress."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

"How? I still feel like i'm going to throw up anytime."

This time it was your turn to laugh quietly, careful not to wake the black-haired man. Reality didn't feel real anymore, and you wondered how could he even see any type of progress when you feel like you're going crazier minute by minute. He just smiled.

"You don't look at me like i'm a killer anymore."

You paused.

He didn't say anything else, slowly burying his head in your back and closing his eyes.

This time you didn't mind the contact.

It was true, you said that. And you remember exactly the face he made when you you pronounced those words.

He looked so hurt.

As far as you remember, he even stopped talking when the words left your lips. Suguru carried the explaining then, because Satoru couldn't find the strength to do so. Everyone could easily tell that he had a huge spot on his heart with your name carved in it that you gladly claimed, and that, for Satoru, felt like you were just about to discard it and leave. Because he has been called a killer, a monster and a curse, but never in a thousand worlds did he expect to hear it from you. Because when he was called names, it was you he ran to help him feel good. Until you were the one calling him a killer with such scared eyes and a cold voice, and he couldn't bear it.

It didn't matter when people called him one when at least you loved him.

And know that you called him one too and no one is there to defend him, he might start to believe it.

And then you realized.

Satoru, human or not, was still your puppy.

And like it or not, he was there when nobody else has been. Sure, what you said is justifiable; you were scared after all and didn't even recognize him. But still, you didn't even apologize and you were certain that he was still thinking about that moment because of how tight his hold was into your shirt.

So now you were left thinking for seven minutes straight whether or not to apologize to him. You should, no, you must because that's what feels right.

"Hey, Satoru."

He kept quiet. You guessed he was asleep due to the way his breathing synchronized with Suguru's, both relaxed and steady.

"I'm sorry. I don't think you're a killer."

You had to get it out of your chest if you wanted to sleep peacefully, so you did.

And then you closed your eyes, sleeping a few minutes later when exhaustion finally reached you. The atmosphere was quiet, the room was dark and piles of clutter were scattered around the room. It was so messy, yet so peaceful.

The three of you were laid in bed, finally comfortable with eachother. Suguru had his long hair spread across the pillow as he slept quietly, keeping his distance from you in bed as you requested unlike satoru, who was still clinging to you even when he was sleeping.

Then the tight grip on your shirt ceased.

"I forgive you."

Sleeping, huh?

So here you are, after the worst sleep you had in your whole life, making breakfast for two potentially dangerous people according to the government. Satoru had a bowl of sweet cereal and juice, while suguru had a cup of coffee and a toast. You were hesitant to give him the coffee at first, but he assured you he had tried it before and it didn't make him sick or something between the lines of that.

"God, I always wanted to try this brand! It's your favorite. Right, Y/N?"

"That's right, Satoru. Now please, eat in silence."

"You're no fun in the mornings."

He mumbled, taking a spoon of the cereals and milk to his mouth and exaggeratedly humming because of the taste. Suguru rolled his eyes, taking a sip of the coffee.

Both of the men eyes were following your figure, wondering where you were going to wandering around the kitchen like that. You were..looking for something? Yeah, it seemed like it.

"Here you are."

You grabbed the thing you were searching for seconds ago and placed it on the table in front of them. It was..

"A paper and a pen?"

Suguru looked at you curiously. You nodded, sitting on a chair and writing something.

"Yeah. We are going shopping for you both, you can't keep wearing that old piece of fabric."

Satoru's eyes illuminated, while suguru didn't seem as happy as his. What was wrong with their clothes? Yes, they were used, but they weren't that bad.

Except for the fact that they actually were.

He sighed, some new clothes would do him good anyways.

"What are we waiting for? I wanna go right now."

"Slow down, Satoru."You pointed at him with the pen, frowning."I need to know first, where did you get that from? We can't go shopping with you two like that."

"what do you mean like that ?"

Suguru looked a little bit offended, taking another sip of his coffe.

"looking like you just got out of jail, obviously."

Your tone was deadly serious even if the sentence sounded as a joke, because they did look like that. They were both wearing not dirty but pretty much used clothes that, as handsome as they were to pull them off, needed to get thrown away immediately. Those clothes were obviously not bought, maybe stolen or found when someone was throwing them away. They looked decent far away, but you could tell the fabric was about to rip off when you looked at it closely.

"It's not that big of a deal. Right, Satoru?"

The man shrugged, smiling. Satoru nodded.

"Yeah, they didn't need them anyways and it's not like we could go shopping anytime we wanted."

You sigh at that. So they did steal those clothes.

"Just—" You stop yourself before saying anything else. Remember Y/N, they're hybrids, that's justified or whatever since they were weird themselves. "Just go to my room, I'll give you borrowed clothes and we'll get in the car."

Satoru cheered, and no time was wasted.

So there you are now, in a mall helping the boys choose clothes for themselves. Not only did you have to lend them clothes, you had to handle satoru and suguru fight for the passenger seat just for them to end up sitting at the back. Not to mention that, to get this morning free for them, you had to call choso to please do you a favor and cover your turn. He, being the sweetheart he is, agreed with close to zero complaints and told you not to worry. You had the best friend in the world, didn't you?

"Hey Y/N! I found this."

Satoru came over, holding a strange item in his hand.

"Found what? Let me see."

He handed it to you, and you could easily tell what it was. Those were a pair of sunglasses, round shaped with black tinted crystals.

"Aren't those amazing?"

"Yes, Satoru. But aren't these such a waste?"The blue eyed man looked at you with certain doubt, so you kept talking."They will hide your eyes."

"Is it a big deal? I like them."

He tilted his head to the side, not sure if he misunderstood you. Perhaps you weren't fond of those, maybe he should get another color? Surely he could find blue-tinted ones, those would suit him too. Then you smiled, shaking your head and putting the glasses on him, covering his eyes. You looked at him, the black of the glasses contrasting perfectly with his pale skin and hair. Maybe a black outfit would look good on him, a gray one, a dark blue one?

Doesn't matter, he looked good in everything.

"You like them, so get them."

A wave of happiness ran over the white haired man who thanked you, gave you a short hug and instantly ran off to tell suguru the new item he was going to wear. Oh, suguru was going to be so mad! You watched as he looked for his bestfriend, giggling.

That only reminded you once again of how close they are, and all thanks to you. You found and adopted them when they were just pups while you were just a child, and they've been your companions ever since until now that you were an adult. Suguru and Satoru were the definition of brothers even if they shared no blood, they were both so troublesome when they were little. Suguru has matured a little, while Satoru only looked mature when he wanted to which was practically once a decade.

"Ah..what a child."

You breathed out for yourself, looking for shirts and blouses at the men section of the store satoru and suguru picked, looking for something comfy for them when you didn't actually know what they would like. Suddenly, you hear a voice behind you.

"You look lost."

When you look to where the deep voice comes from, you see a man. He wasn't even looking at you, reaching for a shirt that was hanging above the one you were looking at while he talked. He had a muscular body, masculine features, dark hair, and even if you didn't have too much time to look at him good you could swear that you saw a scar on his mouth. He grabbed the shirt, a black compression one, looked at the price of it and threw it in his cart before finally looking at you with a smirk.

"Need some help, doll?"

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 🌷

—𝗔𝗨𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗥'𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘: Second chapter finally done, this one is longer so i hope that it paid off the wait! Anyways, i'm sure you can guess who that is right? ;)

—𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧

@kingshitonly @snake-lover-artist-blog @ashers-playpen @pizza-market @channies-bbg-room @pdacex @spindyl @foliea @queen-luna-007 @labelt-san

[spacebaby1]

Ghost of you (Law Trafalgar x Reader. ft Cora-San) Part 1

Your captain Law had warned you to stay away from the cold water in the dead of winter, but you just never seemed to listen to him, and it caught up to you. You were burning with a fever now and unable to leave your bed.

Law sighed as he placed the cold cloth on your forehead as Shachi and Bepo were hovering over their captain's shoulder, 'Why don't you ever listen to a word I say? Now you are burning with cold! Have you learned your lesson?' Law didn't mean to sound harsh, but you were sick, and he was terrified for you. You babbled something under your breath that he didn't understand.

'Is she going to be okay?' Bepo asked worriedly. Shachi joined, 'She's been like this for a week! Captain do something.' With a sigh, Law checked your forehead, still nothing changed. 'Okay, you two keep changing the clothes every two minutes and I will go find some medicine for her, don't be too loud, it might give her a headache.' Both Bepo and Shachi took their seat beside you after Law left to his office.

Later that night, Law gave you some medicines that helped you sleep better since you were having a hard time sleeping because of your fever. When you were fast asleep, Law got up to leave, closing the door behind him. Later that night, you woke up still a bit drowsy from the medicines, hardly able to open your eyes with the dim light shining in the room. You felt cold hands being placed on your head, you sighed in relief; at first you thought its probably your captain but you remembered that Law had really warm hands and these were very cold; Ice cold. But you couldn't open your eyes to look at the person that had their hands on your forehead howeve, suddenly you felt your body calmed down, as if the fever left your body and you fell back asleep.

The next morning, you were feeling much better. You were up when Law entered your room to find you sitting on the bed rubbing your forehead, 'why are you up? You need to sleep. You are bur-' he placed his hands to feel your head but frowned when he noticed your body wasn't warm like last night, he removed his hand, 'looks like the medicines worked, I'm glad you look better than yesterday. Do you feel better?'

You nodded, 'I feel better than before. Captain, can I ask you something?' Law nodded. 'Who was in the room last night?' He thought for a minute, 'No one? Why? Did Bepo disturb your sleep again?' You shook your head, 'No, no, it wasn't Bepo. I'd know if it was Bepo but I felt hands on my head and I thought it might be you but your hands are usually-' you took his hands in yours; they were warm, 'Huh, warm.'

'You are saying there was someone in your room last night? Cold hands?' He asked, thinking you might have a dream. You nodded, 'I guess, but I'm not sure I might be dreaming too, but it felt real.' You scratched your head. Law placed a hand on your head, 'it was probably a dream. You need to rest today, okay? I will tell Shachi to bring your breakfast here and try to rest. Don't go outside. it's still a bit cold.' You nodded, and he smiled before walking out of the room. You decided to nap a bit more after having your lunch later that day. By dinner, Shachi and Bepo brought your food and told you about the week you've been sick and everything that happened.

They left shortly after Law came by to give you the medicines. He told them that you needed to sleep more so you would be well rested. You waved them goodbye before taking your medicine and going to bed.

You woke up in the middle of the night feeling cold and had forgotten to put your sweater on before bed. Groggily you pushed the blanket to side and got up making your way to the closet before pulling out a gray sweater and putting it on but you stopped mid way when your eyes widened; from the corner of your eyes you saw a tall figure sitting on the edge of your bed near the window looking outside. Your blood ran cold as you blinked twice making sure you weren't hallucinating the person sitting there looking out of the window when suddenly he looked at you; the dim light in the room showed his sharp eyes and a painted red smile like a joker. He noticed that you can see him and his eyes widened causing you to scream in fear as you ran out of your room struggling to open the door before you actually managed to leave the room running to your captain and immediately Law threw open his door when he heard your screaming.

He was rushing to your room and you bumped into him in the hallway, yelping in fear when you bumped into him but immediately wrapped your arms around him when you noticed it was your captain, 'C-Capt- t-there i-is someone there! M-my room. Captain, there is someone in my room-hes big a-and scary-'

'You can see me?' You heard a voice and looked behind, still hugging your captain to save you from whoever that was. You screamed in fear when you noticed that same person standing few feet from you, you immediately let go of Law and hid behind him holding on his hoodie for dear life as your Captain just stood there looking at you like you had two heads and you pointed ahead but Law saw...nothing.

Meanwhile, you could literally see a man there standing. Why wasn't your captain reacting? 'M-Man- That man! Who is he? Captain?' You asked in a low voice as Law looked ahead then back at you, 'Darling, there is no one here.' The words hit you like a brick when you could clearly see that man standing there! He was there! Was your captain messing with you?

You refused to let go of Law's hoodie, the man got closer to you and you cried in your captain's side holding him so tight that you could rip his hoodie so Law sighed and turned you around and you hugged him tight still not looking at the other tall man, he placed his hand on your head and whispered something...'Calm.' You felt yourself calm down and slowly opened your eyes to look at Law; it was the same hand from last night, you recognised them.

Law was confused as to what was happening? Were the medicines making you hallucinate? He saw the fear in your eyes as you spoke, 'Captain, there's someone standing right next to me, help me.' Few tears fell down your cheeks, and Law felt the shivers as he wrapped both his arms around you protectively; there was no way you were hallucinating, but was this a ghost.

'I'm not going to hurt you, promise' the man spoke to you as you placed your head deep into your captain's chest now the moment his hands were on your head, 'tell him it's Cora-San, please...' You hesitated before you whispered it to Law, 'C-Captain, he-he said C-Cora-sa'

Before you could finish the sentence, Law spoke, 'Cora-San?' In shock, and you nodded, not sure what was going on, but it was terrifying you.

[marvelstars]

Anakin Skywalker vs Jedi identity

I have seen many takes I consider bad about Anakin because they are based more on a narrative trope than about the character in the movies but recently I found another one I thought was interesting to analyse.

This idea that Anakin would have forgotten all about the well being of others if he choose to marry Padme and leave with her resigning to his place in the Jedi Order.

This take presumes just because Anakin(and Padme) wish to have a family, make their relationship official and raise their children on their own home instead of sending them to the Jedi order, a perfectly normal and fair aspiration by all measures considering their actual work dedicated to the Jedi Order and the Republic absorbed their childhood, this somehow means Anakin no longer cared about other people because he left the Jedi and the Jedi are involved while he is selfish and only wanted to be a Jedi for fame and the cool lightsaber, an understable take if you are looking at him as a jock trope but that is not the character from the movies, novels, comics or TCW.

For Anakin, the character in the movies, being a Jedi was secondary to freeing the slaves on Tatooine, it was secondary to freeing his mother, secondary to seeking peace in the galaxy, secondary to helping the clones, while at the same time, he had a big amount of respect towards the Jedi beliefs, so much that he bassically memorized their philosophy, he is actually the only main character other than Yoda who talks about Jedi philosophy in PT outside of the context of duty to the Republic and he uses those arguments to defend the Jedi Order from Palpatine´s criticisms , in fact in TPM , in his child mind, being a Jedi was his means towards achieving this ideal of freedom in the outer rim, for Anakin being a Jedi was never an end on itself, it was a means towards making lasting changes.

"I had a dream, I was a Jedi, I came back here and freed all the slaves" - Anakin Skywalker

It´s interesting for me because if anything Anakin´s problem when it comes to other people is that he cares so much that the Jedi often had to convince him to leave them behind, be it his Mom, Padme, clone troopers, his padawan, etc. His issue with the Jedi Order wasnt their involvement in helping others, that´s what he admired of them, his issue was their detachment often meant him abandoning family or leaving behind people who needed help because of this ideal of a higher duty, the many over the few or the one.

For example, that time he disobeyed orders to go investigate an objective for the republic army and discovered their information was incomplete and they were about to bomb civilians that had been made slaves by the separatists so he went to rescue them before doing their attack.

This personal characteristic of Anakin would not have changed if he left the Jedi Order to live with Padme, he still would have this urge to do anything in his power to help, because that´s simply who he is as a person since he was a young child, he wants to help, he likes to help, this is why he helped Padme get to her planet, that´s who he is and as much as he respects the Jedi, he can still help even if he left the Order.

I believe Yoda was right when he rejected Anakin from the Jedi Order at the start of TPM, not because Anakin didn´t have Jedi aptitudes, he already had a lot of them but those were not developed in the context of the Jedi Order, with a Jedi teacher, he learned them from his mother, from seeing the injustice on Tatooine, from wanting to do something about it. Anakin was already too involved with the world outside the Jedi Order as a child for him to adapt to the ways of the Jedi Order or to be content just following the Jedi Code for the rest of his life and this conflict between duty to the Order, to his family, to his friends was exploited by Palpatine.

So in a world in which Anakin married Padme and went to live with her, I don´t believe he would have cared much about losing his Jedi status, because that always had been secondary to his main ideals, which were to make a difference in the galaxy he lived and he would have seek to make that difference married to Padme or not.

This is also why I don´t see him at all as a stay at home Dad/Husband, the moment he was free to explore his own projects he definitely would have tried to make his childhood dream a reality and he definitely would have done so with Padme´s support and whoever wanted to join, he was a child slave who managed to help a Queen and a Jedi with his talents and good will alone, that´s who he is and that didn´t change.

[xxlady-lunaxx]

it had been completely run on by alcohol. unless the alcohol had only loosened his tongue, letting the words he’d reigned in finally slip free. it would make sense, really. sanemi had been acting more distant recently. even so, giyuu hadn’t paid it too much mind. until now. until sanemi had drunk one too many sips of sake and had laid his thoughts out on the table.

“i don’t think we can keep doing this,” he’d said, turning to look at giyuu. he spoke casually, a small smile playing on his lips. he looked half out of it.

“doing what?” giyuu gently pushed the sake away from sanemi’s reach.

“this. us.” sanemi waved vaguely between them. “us dating.”

giyuu froze. “what do you mean?”

“it’s not really working.” sanemi sighed, sitting back up and shifting on his chair to look at giyuu. he shrugged. “you know?” his hands tucked between his thighs, fiddling with his sleeve. “i feel like we clash badly. like colors. like, uhm… i dunno. what colors look bad together?”

“but… why?” giyuu pressed, ignoring sanemi’s ramble about colors.

sanemi leaned back—only to jolt up again as he realized there was only empty air behind him. he scrambled to turn, his back resting against the counter. his head tilted back and his hair made a show of swooping down. “why? ‘cause… you know. we’re both boys. we’re gonna die anyway. how many years…? two left? also we never worked well before, yeah?” sanemi mulled this over. “i used to hate you. ‘cause you were so annoying and i thought you were an arrogant piece of shit. i don’t hate you now, but still. don’t you hate me for hating you?”

he crossed his legs, sitting back up and cocking his head towards giyuu. “you’re not stupid, giyuu. i think.” he paused. “oh yeah. i’m the stupid one. you’re the educated one.”

he laughed. held out his hand. “where’s the sake?”

giyuu shook his head. he was in some state of shock, so it took him a moment to catch up with everything. “you’ve wanted to break up? for how long?” he asked, his voice hitching slightly. he reconsidered the questions. “why do you want…? i thought we were doing well?”

sanemi huffed, scanning the counter for the sake. his eyes lit up as he caught sight of it and he reached over. giyuu intercepted his attempt, holding him back and simultaneously shoving the sake away. sanemi shot him a look but gave up, apparently too tired to bother.

“are you going to answer me?” giyuu said with a slight frown. he had to ask before the alcohol left sanemi’s system.

“answer what?” sanemi slumped onto the counter, glowering at the sake that was much too far for his liking. somehow, he’d forgotten he could walk. so he resorted to resting his head in his arms. he closed his eyes, letting out a breath.

“why do you want to break up?”

“i do?” sanemi sat up, looking suddenly alarmed. he stared at giyuu. “since when?”

“oh. uhm. well, you were heavily implying it.”

sanemi thought that over. “i don’t want to break up. i just think we’re not gonna end up well. not a lot of relationships do. i’m just being realistic.”

“more like pessimistic,” giyuu mumbled. “how won’t we end up well, though? we’ve been fine.”

“it’s just…” sanemi hesitated. he shook his head. “my head doesn’t fucking make sense. can’t think.”

giyuu sighed. “sometimes, i don’t understand you.”

“me neither.” sanemi went back to resting on the counter. his eyes fluttered close again. “‘m just worried that i’ll fuck up and leave you with the consequences or something. never mind. gonna sleep, now. night.”

[tubatwo]

words left behind - choi soobin

summary: a series of forgotten ‘I love you's becomes too much for soobin, leaving him in a state of worry

pairing: gn reader x choi soobin

genre: fluff/slight angst; 1.6k words

the words “I love you” were always exchanged between you and soobin. they were more than mere words. they were a symphony of shared affection. a daily tradition that had permanently made its way into your lives. it didn’t matter who was around or where you were, you never once forgot to exchange those three sweet words.

but lately, life had its own plans in mind, and with millions of responsibilities and burdens on your shoulders, there were a few times when you had forgotten to say the words back to soobin.

a few times too many. 

“dammit, i’m gonna be late!” you exclaim, rushing to kick off the covers that were half of the reason for your warmth all night.

the other half, your boyfriend, was currently rubbing his eyes in confusion at your behavior. “what’s going on?” he asks softly.

 “my stupid phone died during the middle of the night so my alarm didn’t go off,” you huff loudly as you strip out of your pajamas, running around the room like a headless chicken, “i’m supposed to present the financial report today and now I don’t even have time to grab breakfast or coffee and I work til late and I ju–”

your words are cut off by soobin, who has now made his way out of your shared bed to hold you in his arms. “hey hey, shhh, it’s alright..” he reassures you, “how about you shower while I make you coffee and a quick bite to eat?” and if that wasn’t enough to make you fall for him all over again, he wasn’t finished. “and text me when you’re finishing up so I can order your dinner, okay?” he leaves you with a kiss on your forehead. 

you have to remind yourself that you don’t have time to cry in his arms and ramble about how unbelievably lucky you are, so you leave him with kisses all over his face before turning to your tasks, hoping that it would be enough to convey your love. “thank you so much, baby!” 

after getting ready and grabbing all of your things, you quickly make your way to the entrance of your apartment. “i’m off now!”

“good luck, I love you!” soobin yells from the room, except instead of hearing those words in return he’s met with the sound of a door slamming shut. 

the weekend meant that there was finally some time for rest and relaxation between you and soobin. no work nagging at you and no clock dictating your day. it was a clean slate, meant just for the two of you.  

surprisingly, instead of staying in like usual, you decided to plan a small picnic at a park nearby. 

“hurry, before the sun sets without us!” you exclaim, excitedly running towards your designated spot under the tree. your picnic basket was filled with various types of your favorite foods: gimbap, dumplings, bread, and ramen in heated mugs. you even had plans to get bingsu once you were finished. 

you and soobin sat down and immediately started digging in, updating each other on the details of your week. when time is your enemy and a constant reminder of harsh deadlines, you don’t always have time to fully explain the details of your day. however, during times like this, you had all the time in the world. 

“and then my boss said I gave the best presentation, can you believe it?” soobin smiles at your enthusiasm, proudly letting both of his dimples show. “of course I believe it, my baby is the best.” his lips meet your cheeks as his arms wrap tighter around you. after finishing up all of the food, you cuddled up together against the tree. 

“I wanna thank you for being so patient with me this week.” you utter softly.

 “hm? what do you mean?” soobin asks, a bit taken aback from the sudden gratitude. 

“i’ve been so busy this week and you’ve just been an absolute angel,” you explain, “I can’t thank you enough for everything you do to help me, soobin.”

you feel soobin smile against your neck before he places soft kisses on your skin. “if I can help alleviate some of your stress then it’s no problem. you always do the same for me..”

you turn your body slightly to look your boyfriend in the eyes, the both of you grinning ear to ear before pressing your lips together. the world around you faded into a blur, leaving only the warmth of his touch, the sounds of your heartbeats, and the taste of his kiss, which tasted a lot like the honey bread he had just finished.

“I love you, baby.” soobin confesses after breaking the kiss, his sudden confession making your heart swell. 

as soon as you open your mouth to respond, you feel a sudden cold splash on your forehead. “I– ah!” you look up only to feel another splash, then another, then another. 

it was raining. 

“oh god, soob, it’s raining! let’s hurry back!”  you stand up quickly to pack away any trash that was leftover from your meal. you look over to see your boyfriend staring at the ground with an unrecognizable emotion on his face. his eyebrows slightly furrowed, and you could see his fists starting to bunch up the blanket underneath him. 

“soob?” you repeat yourself. 

suddenly he snaps out of whatever state he was in and stands up, grabbing the blanket and folding it into a smaller square. while you carried the basket, he used the blanket as an umbrella to keep you two from getting wet. 

at this point, all bingsu plans were cancelled, and the silence in the car led you to believing that he was really looking forward to it. 

“hey, maybe we can get bingsu tomorrow?” you suggest, trying your best to lighten the mood. 

“okay, sure.” he says dryly. 

something had shifted. he didn’t glance at you once and didn’t even bother holding your hand with his free one. you thought that maybe he was trying to pay extra attention to the road since it was raining, so you didn’t question it anymore. 

later that night, things had started to go back to normal. it seemed like soobin has snapped out of whatever mood he was in before and was mostly back to talking normally. however, he still had a bit of hesitation with his words.

you lie in bed as he finishes his skincare routine, eyes barely hanging on as exhaustion takes over your body. you’re half asleep when he finishes, a sleepy smile on your face as he crawls into bed next to you. 

“today was really fun..” soobin murmurs quietly. you hum in agreement as sleep begins to take over your body more and more. 

“night baby, I love you.” soobin confesses. 

he felt stupid after multiple attempts of trying to hear you say it back. he didn’t understand what was going on, I mean, things seemed to be going okay? you still hugged and kissed him as if nothing was wrong. so why was he hurting so much? 

each time, it pricked at his heart, a tiny bit of insecurity growing with every missed "I love you." he began to wonder if this was the beginning of you slowly distancing yourself from him. 

and you, half-dreaming already, hum once again in response, your mind already halfway between dreams and reality.

“please say it back..” soobin whispers, his voice cracking and eyes beginning to tear up.

the vulnerability and emotion in his voice immediately breaks you out of whatever dream you were having. you turn to look at him and the sight of a tear streaming down his face was stronger than any alarm could possibly be.

wide awake now, you reach out to cup his cheek. “i’m here, honey, i’m so sorry,” you whisper. a mix of insecurity and embarrassment washes over soobin’s face, and he can’t help but to ask quietly:

“do you still love me?”

it’s almost as if you could hear your own heartbreak at the words. all you could feel was guilt and hurt due to the doubt you had unintentionally given to the person you loved most. “yes, of course baby,” you begin, “I love you so much, I promise I love you with all of my heart.”

soobin immediately shows a relieved smile, happiness consuming his entire body after finally hearing the words he was desperately missing this week. 

“i’m sorry, i’m a bit embarrassed now..” soobin wipes some of the stray tears on his cheek before letting out a sad chuckle. “I know it probably wasn’t intentional but you haven't been saying it back and I got in my head..”

you shake your head as you wrap your arms around him, face buried in his neck as your hands rub gentle circles on his back. “no, I should be the one apologizing,” you state firmly, “I am so so sorry for leaving you hanging and taking advantage of your love.”

before soobin could even interrupt you to deny your words, you were already sitting up. “you know how much those words mean to me, and i’m sorry I let the craziness of the world take them away.”

“truthfully, you’re the reason why I was able to get through this week. even though you didn’t necessarily hear it from me, your love is what anchored me and gave me strength. but.. I don’t want to make it a bad habit. because you deserve to hear those words more than anything. you deserve to feel the certainty of my love.”

soobin’s smile blossoms into one of pure affection, his fingers caressing your cheek with a gentle tenderness as he leans in to meet you in a kiss. a kiss that conveyed everything you two wanted to say to each other at that moment.

i’m sorry

it’s okay

I love you

I love you too