#as a single childfree woman
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Friendships with maIes is a topic that tends to come up multiple times in single childfree women spaces and generally speaking, if you have maIe friends you're absolutely sure is just a friendship that you made before committing to this lifestyle then it isn't that deep it is what it is. It's just a thing where they're on thin ice like Sekhmet-SheOwl said about friendships (& family relations) with maIes. You still prioritise yourself & other (like-minded) women in the end.
However personally, I dont recommend it at all & I dont have any maIe friends. I was going to add what Sekhmet-SheOwl said about friendships with maIes regarding how women would treat maIe friendships vs romantic/sexual relationships (which long story short is that women aren't typically as attached in friendships. In her separatism video she gives an example of a maIe friend moving cities & asking the woman to move with him vs a maIe partner moving cities & asking the woman to move with him; women would be more likely to reject the former but accept the latter bc of their feelings and there's more of a commitment especially if they have a family together) but tbh in many cases women prioritise & center their maIe friends over female friends. Some get an ego boost feeling "cool" enough or special to hang out with the boys platonically - which would come with a level of tolerating misogyny in spaces. Some would take so much crap from maIe friends & sweep it under the rug as a joke but drop their female friends for much less.
I dont recommend or have maIe friends because over 9/10 times these maIes are just tryna hit & maIes say this themselves. Many of them say they wouldn't be friends with women they find unattractive because at the end of the day they aren't actually womens friends in the first place. They dont care about you or what you do they're just tryna fuck. As many of us know, maIes will do ANYthing to have sex with a woman they want. They'll go to all sorts of measures & that includes pretending to be a friend until they can have sex w/ you or slide in how they like + want a relationship with you. Being friends with maIes just gives them a door to you like that. I used to have maIe friends long before even deciding to never date or reproduce & they were like this.
MaIes generally dont respect women & just see them as sex objects so they dont care for women as people let alone wanting to be their 'friend'. Sometimes it may appear like being friends with maIes is easier especially if you're neurodivergent but like I said before maIes will do anything with the hope of getting into bed so they'll keep up the act long enough until they get what they want. I've seen many stories of women being at vulnerable points in their lives who confided to their maIe friends & the maIe used it as an opportunity to pursue them sexually/romantically; it's so predatory. MaIes came up with the term "friendzone" bc they dont actually want to be womens friends; they dont like women, they just wanna have sex or a relationship then dip but it's women who'll be like "actually men & women can be just friends 🥰". This video (& the comments) shows the stark difference between maIes & womens take on whether they can be just friends with the opposite sex. Women see maIes personhood so they can still befriend maIes they aren't attracted to but it doesn't work the other way around. Personally I think womens yearn for having maIe friends is also rooted in this, they lowkey want their personhood affirmed by maIes but time & time again they're shown this is not the case. MaIes get agitated at their female partners having maIe friends bc "they know how men think", they know those maIes are likely just waiting for an opening to pursue the woman.
Yeah it's hard to make friends with women irl especially when you're not maIe centric or engage in gender conforming femininity rituals but I still think when you find quality female friendships - they're worth it. I dont see the need for maIe friends at the end of the day, they're just a distraction. There's nothing I cant get from them that I wouldn't be able to get from myself, other women, maIe acquaintances, or the internet. I dont feel like I'm missing anything by this either. Also maIe friends can be just as messy, petty, and two faced as women. As you start this lifestyle I definitely suggest not making any new maIe friends.
#Putting this in tags bc I didnt wanna get to deep into this in the post but women are generally going to feel more attached to#their romantic partners than their friends which is going to inevitably cause conflict of interest and most times maIe partnered women will#lean to things that will be in their partners interest even if its at the expense of women as a collectives interest.#This is why you cant claim separatism; 4B; 6b4t; etc while partnered with a maIe but you technically can have maIe friends doing so.#Emphasis on technically bc as I mentioned there is still a possibility of centering maIes even if they're 'just friends.'#Posting bc I see women say they want to do this but have maIe friends & long story short; not recommended but wont solely take away from u#as a single childfree woman#6b4t#4b movement#female separatist#female separatism#wgtow#decentering men#single woman#single women
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Given the climate we're in, it is political when women refuse to partner or reproduce with maIes but at the same time when choosing to commit to this lifestyle, it is very important to have non-political reasons for it aswell. I think a lot of women struggle to commit to this because they get into it for political or reactive reasons but when that energy dies down they find themselves left with nothing else. They feel empty and would want to be with a maIe for non-political personal reasons to them.
Before I continue, this is not a change-your-mind post (or page). If you're actively looking to partner with a maIe then stop reading here because this isn't for you. This is for women who dont want to ever deal with dating.
This is not to downplay or invalidate political reasons behind choosing to not date or reproduce with maIes, but it cannot be your only or main reason(s). When I say reactive I also mean women who do this to get a positive reaction from maIes, hoping they'll apologise, 'change' & beg you to be with them when you say no.
Now obviously life happens & it doesn't suprise me as I'm blackpilled but I've seen many osawomen who mainly have reactive or political reasons for not wanting to deal with maIes eventually end up partnering with maIes regardless of how staunch of a separatist, wine aunt, lesbian, etc they were.
The thing with reactive politics is that it tends to get exhausting especially when things are not going in the direction you anticipated. So when the energy of whatever politics is tied to your decision for not wanting to date maIes at the moment is gone, then the reasons for wanting to not partner with maIes also goes. That pillar begins to breakdown.
Whereas when you have non-political reasons for doing this, you focus on yourself and what you get out of this - it's a different story, so find non-political reasons for choosing to not date or reproduce. Dont just find/define the reason but actually live it out. These reasons should mean something to you beyond politics or reactive measures. Does it really give you purpose? How do you let it be a part of you? I have my own personal non-political reasons for not dating (or not reproducing) which is why regardless of how my politics changes (& has changed) I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a maIe at the end of the day or give birth.
Another reason to not center political motives as a reason for not dating is so that it feels more natural to you. It becomes a part of you where it doesn't absorb you. It shouldn't absorb you to the point you're blind or feel trapped. As it's a part of you it will feel natural to go about doing your thing without wanting a partner, even to the point where if you saw a maIe & he was fine as hell + appeared to be a good fit; you have your principles + ways of living so you wont want a relationship with him anyways. Tbh only a minority of women will be at this point but that's the headspace you want to be at if you're serious. It should be natural, not something that you force or you make yourself do. Generally ask yourself what it is about relationships that you wouldn't want to get into & why.
On the flip side, many women wont initially date for political reasons but as I said; when the political drive slows down they will start dating. However they dont date for political reasons, they do it because wanting a relationship/love (+ starting a family) is a part of them. It feels natural to them to want love/companionship, or even have kids. This is why so many women will continue to date maIes despite all the maIe degeneracy, risks, and evil in the het dating scene we all see. Even though women know what maIes are like (more than they want to let on), they dont care they still have their reasons for wanting to have a relationship with a maIe. This is why regardless of the hurdles in the way when it comes to dating for osawomen they will jump those hurdles *bounce bounce bounce* to have a relationship with a maIe but when there's one hurdle when it comes to not dating maIes, they start running back. A little thing happens and "it's too hard I cant do this anymore". So again it's about personal objective.
Ik people will say "but we can't control our sexuality!1!", i know I'm straight aswell. I have had times where I've been attracted to maIes & even when they like me back I wouldn't pursue a relationship with them (and no I dont feel like I'm missing something either) because it's just not for me.
Personally, I dont believe this is a lifestyle women choose I think it chooses you tbh. Cause if you're in a position where you feel like you have to force yourself to stay on track & you dont feel comfortable committing, it aint for you. When you're new it can be hard but as time goes on, if it's for you it'll feel natural. It will be a part of you and you can find purpose beyond a romantic relationship or reproducing.
#i wont get into all the reasons why women choose to date males bc that's not the main point nor do i care much tbh#Point is - if you're serious about not dating maIes & committing to this. Find non-political reasons for not dating aswell.#female separatism#female separatist#wineauntmovement#wgtow#4b#4b movement#6b4t#childfree#childfree women#many tend to shy away from the single childfree lifestyle bc the traditional map/railguards aren't there but thats the fun part of it#decentering men#single women#single woman
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The idea that a single woman might think of herself as the equal to a man was derided by the late nineteenth-century radical thinker and poet Edward Carpenter, who said in 1897 that spinster feminists were 'out of line . . . Such women do not altogether represent their sex; some are rather mannish in temperament; some are "homogenic", that is inclined to attachments to their own sex rather than the opposite sex; such women are ultra-rationalising and brain-cultured; to many, children are more or less a bore; to others, man's sex-passion is a mere impertinence, which they do not understand, and whose place they consequently misjudge.'
"Normal Women: 900 Years of Making History" - Philippa Gregory
#book quote#normal women#philippa gregory#nonfiction#single woman#equality#derision#19th century#radical thought#poet#edward carpenter#90s#1890s#spinster#feminist#out of line#mannish#temperament#homogenic#wlw#lesbian#cultured#rational#cerebral#childfree#impertinence#judgement
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I hate when a post is very obviously mocking a certain type of asshole and yet all the comments are "lmao me" that's not a good thing dumbfuck
#this is mostly about tiktok but ik it happens elsewhere#but like. i saw a tiktok that was like “your childfree friend who doesnt think children should exist in public”#and they said thibgs like “ew a little league” “if i had a kid i would never take them to activities” “if i had a kid id tell them to keep#their head down and not look at or talk to anyone“#like bestie this is not someone to want to be!!!! children are people!!!#i see it a lot too on posts mocking overly jealous girlfriends#no it is not funny to demand complete control over ur boyfriend's social media#or insist he block every single woman who interacts with him#ur not quirky ur controlling and he deserves better
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#oh childfree women for sure haha#because they can´t be controlled and their lives don´t revolve around men#and being a childfree woman who is also single is the worst crime a woman can do apparently
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#not to stir the discourse pot again but i cannot help myself#okay so yknow how badly cishetero patriarchy treats childfree women? thet theyll grow to love it and they need to be incubators to find#true happiness because you could never be content in life w/o kids. a rlly similar logic applies to lesbians too#if you just opwn urself up to men youll find ur one true partner#and bi lesbians play into that by insisting that we can be attracted to men#*open#like some of these same sentiments are parroted to gay men. but never to the extent to lesbians. like its okay for them for a man to be#single whether he truly wants it or is closeted and can't find a partner. but for lesbians its like clutching pearls times 1000#idk for sure where im going with this but i saw those connections and just wanted to type them out or something#**if in the first half u thought i meant trans woman instead of actual men kys just gotta cover my ass in case
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The village cannot coexist alongside the nuclear family. Women often talk about how lonely being a wife and mother is, but that’s exactly the point. Isolation IS the purpose. Seclude two emotionally disturbed adults who will then groom their own children into being just like them. Parents are the first to snap at you “don’t tell me how to raise my kids!” Okay, then don’t expect me to help because all you really want is a free babysitter, and not just for the kids.
Single and childfree women face the most pressure to “help” families. In other words, be the heterosexually inspired breeding programs clean up crew. When mommy and daddy need to blow off steam they get to berate you. Legitimate involvement from villagers begins before children get here. They’d get to say “you’re in an unhealthy relationship and have no business bringing children into it” or “you’re already overwhelmed with one, don’t get pregnant again.” How well do you think that will go over? Even more so, you need to contribute more than having offspring. When was the last time a complaining set of parents cooked dinner for their aging neighbor? What about driving a sick coworker to a doctor’s appointment?
People, especially women are known for abandoning all others the moment they catch feelings. Once it’s legally binding and babies are born, you hardly see them again. This is yet another ploy to extract emotional labor from women. Which apparently is a major problem due to patriarchy, except when women do it to each other. The way coupled women feel as if they’re unappreciated and taken advantage of, is a single woman’s reality on all fronts. This world is already set up to benefit the nuclear family. Tax brakes and social validation aren’t enough. They should be able to have as many children as they want, regardless of the circumstances, and never struggle a day in their lives.
Raising children is hard when doing so on a planet filled to capacity with dumb degenerates, but whose fault is that? Generation after generation have done the same, have sex and reproduce without abandon, then scream about the consequences. The world is a scary place for children because of the families they’re born into. I’m not going to pitch in so a spineless mother can sign her daughter up for the same fate.
Family life is going exactly as planned, your happiness is supposed to come from filling a quota. Any other expectations came from your imagination. Marriage and reproduction have never been about romance and love. It’s about keeping up the flow of new bodies for political purposes, aka, natalism. If mommy and daddy need help, they can go to those just like themselves. Too bad the mythos of selflessness after parenthood is inaccurate, and they’d rather pop out another kid than help one that isn’t theirs.
All family units are out for themselves first, they admit this. They’re all after our planets limited resources and don’t seem to keen on sharing. Otherwise they’d already be attempting communal living and offering their help to each other free of cost. Why not split up the domestic duties equally instead of wasting time chastising women who freed themselves? If you want my help it’s going to come in the form of honesty. Until then, keep holding each other hostage under the guise of “family.” We all know what happened to women in the past who didn’t comply. The village serves one purpose, control.
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Femme Fatale Booklist: Decentering Men, Feminist Dating, & Childfree Living
Books On Decentering Men/Feminist Perspectives On Dating (for the times you're in need, you know):
A Single Revolution by Shani Silver (most important rec, IMO!)
Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Inner Barrier to Women's Happiness and Fulfillment by Valerie Rein, Ph.D
What a Time to Be Alone: The Slumflower's Guide to Why You Are Already Enough by Chidera Eggerue
How To Get Over A Boy by Chidera Eggerue
All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation by Rebecca Traister
Enjoy Your Solo By Mary Delia Allen
How to Be Single and Happy by Jennifer Taitz
Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After by Bella DePaulo, Ph.D
On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good by Elise Loehnen
We Are Not Born Submissive: How Patriarchy Shapes Women's Lives by Manon Garcia
The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls by Mona Eltahawy
Down Girl: The Logic of Misogyny by Kate Manne
Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft
Men Who Hate Women: From Incels to Pickup Artists: The Truth about Extreme Misogyny and How it Affects Us All by Laura Bates
Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward by Gemma Hartley
The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by Bell Hooks
All About Love: New Visions by Bell Hooks
Books On Childfree Living:
Women Without Kids: The Revolutionary Rise of an Unsung Sisterhood by Ruby Warrington
Childfree by Choice: The Movement Redefining Family and Creating a New Age of Independence by Amy Blackstone
Confessions of a Childfree Woman: A Life Spent Swimming Against the Mainstream by Marcia Drut-Davis
Regretting Motherhood: A Study by Orna Donath
No One Tells You This: A Memoir by Glynnis MacNicol
25 Over 10: A Childfree Longitudinal Study by Laura Caroll
The Baby Matrix: Why Freeing Our Minds From Outmoded Thinking About Parenthood & Reproduction Will Create a Better World by Laura Caroll
The Baby Trap by Ellen Peck
Policing the Womb: Invisible Women and the Criminalization of Motherhood by Michele Goodwin
Without Children: The Long History of Not Being a Mother by Peggy O'Donnell Heffington
#intersectional feminism#feminism#feminist#women empowerment#womens rights#intersectionality#social justice#patriarchy#purity culture#female gaze#female excellence#female power#female writers#it girl#femme fatale#female sexuality#the feminine urge#queen energy#dark feminine energy#high value woman#childfree#internalized shame#dark femininity#decentering men#girl advice#girl blogging#personal growth#book recommendations#book rec list#booklover
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The rise in popularity of single childfree women should signal that we need to start preparing. I've spoken about this before but want to address a common concern of safety regarding maIe retaliation. At this point some women may think they'll be safer trying to get a maIe but the statistics show otherwise. There's a reason women fought for rights in the first place, we all know that maIes as a collective are horrible beings. If maIes were pleasant to be around & reproduce with, they wouldn't need to force women into it.
Now I dont have all the answers in terms of what to do in the face of maIe retaliation but where to start:
1 - Move in silence. MaIes dont need to know our every move. MaIes have enough power as is, them knowing our strategy on top of that wont help. Hell, play dumb sometimes. This also applies to other women, if they push marriage & kids bs be measured in your response, in the end you know your truth. At the end of the day most of these women are also aware of the danger maIes pose.
2 - Organise. This is tough, extremely tough i can't lie. For one we're scattered all over the world & people in our real lives wouldn't have the committment to this nor believe in deviating from the nuclear structure but it is something needed. Even if it's just online, find or build networks with likeminded women. I say this as a lone wolf but infrastructure & network is needed because the government will make it harder to survive alone so some would need to be able to lean on each other for support even if it's just verbal. Disassociate from maIes as far as you can. Take up learning how to defend yourself. If you're serious about this; be prepared to break the rules at some point because playing nice & by the law wont work. These things are set up by men for men and it wont help us. I'm not saying go out there & purposefuly break the law or put yourself in harms way, just saying prepare. It sounds far out now but the current system cant be counted on, blind eyes are turned when maIes abuse women, women are punished for defending themselves under the system. Even if you dont want to go down the route of community, learn to take care of yourself & hold your own down.
3 - Stop arguing with maIes. This doesnt mean that xys are right, I say this a lot but maIes are fully aware of everything. Arguing with maIes online is a waste of time, time that can go to building for yourself or likeminded women. MaIes denying female oppression is part of the game to keep you wasting your energy on them as opposed to working on yourself. It's to keep you in their hands; doesn't matter whether you're right or not, how many statistics you throw at them, you're still biting their bait.
4 - Stack up on resources & money. If you have resources & money and the priviledge to save then start now. If/when things go downhill it wont be a snap thing but a transition so this window needs to be used to the best of our advantage. Take advantage of the privileges you have now to set yourself for the future because that could very well be gone.
I doubt we'd win tbh but I'd rather die trying than live submitting. I will mention that I know it's scary but we have to think forward. Bear in mind the system has never worked for women, some will say things like "but when women leave maIes get more violent" but there is no safety in the first place. Women are sexually harrassed & assaulted any where at any time with no protection already. Women are constantly told of all the things they should or shouldn't do to avoid maIe violence and it doesnt work anyways, maIes will continue to abuse women & girls. No amount of listening & obeying has helped women because it doesn't matter what the reason for maIe violence is, if they cant find a reason they'll create a reason because their motive is to make women suffer in addition to reproduction & having labour.
Now I know many will speak about the violence of maIe retaliation which I'll address in part 3. This is part 2 of 'the rise in single childfree women' group of posts.
Part 1
#There'll be 4 parts if anyone is wondering.#female separatism#female separatist#6b4t#4b#childfree#single woman#single women
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Types of women/red flags to avoid in friendships.
Women who always complain about everything or play victim
Women who seek to embarass you in front of others.
Women who dont acknowledge you in front of others.
Women who often -subtly- put you down.
Women who constantly tell you when other people say something bad about you
Yes-gyns. Women who always blindly agree with everything you say.
Women who always make excuses
MaIe-crazy women.
Women who dont respect boundaries.
Women who are always around when you're in trouble.
If you're thinking of someone as you're reading all of this or the moment you saw "friendship red flags" - it's a sign to start moving on from them especially if they're draining you more than fulfilling you.
Longer post with context here.
#short post#6b4t#4b movement#this is important to bear in mind as a single childfree woman even if you dont want many friends.
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diversity win! the reality-warping saint your government created as a horrific weapon of war by torturing and remaking a young woman to the point she can barely remember anything about herself anymore except that she wanted to be a ballerina who is now here to grant you a death infinitely kinder than you deserve respects your decision to be permanently single/childfree!
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Terrible headline choice, but overall I'm glad child free women are getting some mainstream coverage
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The number of women choosing not to have children is growing and the global birth rate is plunging.
While their reasons vary from climate worries to financial concerns and health complications, those making the decision to be "child-free by choice" say societal acceptance is yet to come, often leaving them feeling ostracised.
The BBC spoke to members of Bristol Childfree Women, a social group with more than 500 members, set up by women and for women who have decided not to have children.
While Caroline Mitchell always knew she never wanted children, she wasn't prepared for how hard reaching "child-bearing age" would be.
The 46-year-old, who lives with her husband in Brislington, Bristol, said while it never bothered her when she was younger, she had not anticipated the barrage of personal questions she would face as friends and acquaintances started to have children.
"I have felt like a freak because of it," she said.
"I feel like my perspective and my experience is just not acceptable."
In Caroline's eyes, society is set up for motherhood.
"You realise how you're quite excluded from a lot of life," she said.
"It's really hard for me to meet people, because it's all about the women you meet at the school gates or the writing clubs for mums."
Caroline said she thinks that sometimes women with children believe the "whole world" is set up for child-free women.
"Actually, it's really exclusionary," she said.
Many in her circle of friends have children and while they have never knowingly done anything to make her feel different, she says, the fact they are "all doing one thing" and she is doing another has been "quite hard".
While Caroline is "100% certain" and "very comfortable" in her identity, she admits she has, on occasion, “agonised" about her decision.
She said that was down to the "cultural expectation" of what was normal and the concept that if you were a woman, having a child was "the natural thing to do".
Official figures released in 2022, external show record numbers of women are reaching the age of 30 child-free.
More than half (50.1%) of women in England and Wales born in 1990 were without a child when they turned 30 in 2020, the first generation to do so, according to the Office for National Statistics.
Megan Stanley, who is originally from Oxfordshire and lives in Bristol, was so certain about her decision to not have children, she has been trying to get sterilised since the age of 19.
When it comes to her painful periods, Megan said it feels "cruel" to go through the "suffering every single month for a body function" she feels she does not need.
"I know that sterilisation doesn't solve periods but it does alleviate a lot of those major symptoms," she said.
But the 31-year-old said she has come up against hurdle after hurdle.
“The doctors would say ‘you're still a bit young’ or ‘you might change your mind’,” she said.
The furthest Megan got was when she was 29 and had an appointment with a surgeon.
"I'd prepared everything - my medical history, prepared all my line of reasoning. I'd even gone as far as to get a testimony from the therapist I was seeing. I'd gone the full mile," she said.
However, permission was not granted once the gynaecologist asked about her relationship status.
"At the time I'd been dating my now long-term partner for maybe three months," Megan said.
She told the doctor that her partner also definitely did not want children and he had already had a vasectomy.
Megan said the doctor then told her that if her partner had a vasectomy, “then you don't need to have this done, do you?"
It was then that Megan said she realised it was "inescapable" and they were "just not going to do it".
"Why should what happens to my body be beholden to what he's done to his?" she said.
"It's got to the point now where I long for the menopause. That's what I'm looking forward to."
Caroline believes women without children may be “complicit” in keeping cultural expectations as they are.
"We don't talk about it - so there's still this thought that it's what everyone does," she said.
"Motherhood is just everywhere all the time, in your face."
She said it was hard not fitting in with the "norm of society" and at times, she had wished she was "different".
"My life would have been easier in some ways," she said.
Yet for many women, whatever choices they make, they seem to beat themselves up about it and "seem to be not very accepting of everyone's choice", Caroline added.
Fiona Powley said she knew she did not want to be a mother from the age of 12 after seeing her own mum struggle with motherhood.
“I just thought motherhood didn't look like lot of fun," she said.
Now 49, Fiona runs the Bristol Childfree Women group, external and while she is currently experiencing menopausal symptoms, she has "no panicking feeling" that she did not use her ability to reproduce.
"It feels very comfortable," she said.
Ironically Fiona now looks at herself and thinks she could have actually done “quite a good job of parenting" but she "never really wanted it enough".
However, like Caroline and Megan she said new people she meets can react negatively when she tells them she chose not to have children.
“There's being told you'll regret it. What's your point of existing? If you don't have children you're not valid as a woman," Fiona said.
Fiona has even been called "selfish" and some have questioned who will look after her when she is old.
“It's almost like people feel uncomfortable," she said.
“It's probably because it never occurred to them that they also had a choice.”
Megan can sympathise.
In the past, the reaction to her not wanting children has been quite "visceral", she said.
She claims some people have painted her as "a child-hater, or a mean person” because of it.
"I think my not wanting kids is just an innate thing to who I am," she said.
Fiona said there were so many reasons why people decide not to have children.
Looking back, she thinks her own reasons were "probably quite unhealthy", but she knows that she is not going to "suddenly wake up as an old lady and feel bitter and regret".
Caroline said she would be a "resentful mother", adding there were a "huge amount of upsides" to not having children, like focusing her time on her relationship with her husband and her hobbies.
Megan agrees.
“There’s a lot of joy to be had in not having kids," she said.
“It isn't all about freedom and money. It's about choice."
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i hate that a lot of cooking/baking content online is overrun by tradwives talking about how cooking for their husbands and 17 kids channels their divine ancestral femininity or whatever, i'm just a single childfree woman who wants to learn how to bake muffins at home cause they taste better than the ones at the store
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As a 34 year old woman the amount of pressure and expectation I feel to ‘settle down, marry and have kids’ is unreal, I probably can’t even have children ( already in perimenopause and my ovaries aren’t working properly and I have very little egg reserve) which I’m not sure how I even feel about because I feel like I need to start living again because right now I’m living back at home and saving to move out and get my freedom and independence back! My mental health has been shit too but I’m single and happy with that right now but being the age I am I just feel weird and like I’m not living life properly? That I should feel like I’m missing out? When I actually don’t? Societal pressures are real intense.
SO real and honestly it's something you can't really fathom at 20. yes, you can fear being alone or whatever but you also have time. you don't know what it feels like until you look around and realize, oop! your life really IS NOT what you imagined/hoped it would be. we all think about this in some way, no matter what we've achieved. and it can feel like you're out of time. sometimes that's true, other times it just feels true. sigh.
it can be really difficult to live a life that isn't implicitly or explicitly encouraged by society. being single, childfree, queer, poly, whatever. every major life decision can feel like an existential quagmire.
thank you for sharing bestie ❤️ i feel you.
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It's sometimes so frustrating to be a celibate lesbian, almost worse than being a childfree woman, because I'm besieged on all sides.
There are all these horrible stereotypes about people who choose not to pursue relationships as if we're all bitter, unfulfilled people, and the One True Way is to desperately seek out any possible relationship just to not be alone. As if being single is a curse rather than, for some people, a blessing.
I know I can't bring my best to a relationship. My life circumstances make it infeasible. I'm happy as I am, but I don't want to date until I'm in a slightly better place. It's possible to be happy with your circumstances yet also know they would not mesh well with someone else.
"Oh but you don't know that, you can't know if you don't try, someone will love you flaws and all!"
This is such a patronizing statement that implies I'm too stupid to understand these things, or that I have abysmally low self-esteem and am vastly underestimating myself. Both of which are not true.
I'm sure that someone out there could love me just as I am, but what if I'm okay with being where I am right now? What if I want to explore this phase of my life, overcome my trauma, become more financially stable, build a strong support system, and be secure in life before I add someone else's issues to mine?
Of course, if a woman magically did come along and accepted me completely, adored me, was perfectly okay with who I am, then I would not refuse. But I also want to devote my attention to my life, my passions, my pursuits, rather than waste time getting my heart broken. I can love my family, make friends, and find fulfillment outside of a relationship.
Then there's the assumption that I must be aroace if I'm not throwing myself at any woman that looks at me. Which is also not true. And it is equally patronizing to try to claim an identity for me.
"Oh but what if you are?? What's wrong with that?"
There's nothing wrong with it. That's just not how I identify and it's not who I am, and trying to force other labels on me is wrong. I am a celibate lesbian and there is nothing wrong with that either.
idk it's just tiring to face, on one hand, people insisting I'm defective for not wanting a relationship and, on the other hand, people trying to turn me into something I am not.
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Every single piece of information I learn against my will about Matt Walsh just makes me want to set him on fire with my mind or will him into getting hit by a bus even more than I already do.
I just found out that last week he sent a hate mob of his followers to harass a woman for the crime of.... being single, childfree, and posting about trying out a new recipe. According to Matt she should be obsessing over her non-existent children instead or something???
I can't even keep track of all the awful shit he does and says anymore, I just hope the FBI arrests him soon for all the CP he undoubtably has on his computer (given that he thinks 16-year-old girls are "the most fertile" or whatever 🤮)
#like somebody please defenestrate this Nazi#at least Ben Shapiro is kind of entertaining because he's such a dweeb and admits to never making his wife wet#Matt Walsh just has such an evil aura and has caused so much harm to queer people women etc#to the point where his bullshit got MULTIPLE BOMB THREATS CALLED AT A CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL#fuck matt walsh#fuck conservatives#rant
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